Introverts/unsocial people do you ever feel badly?

[scrapbabe]

If you're an introvert and prefer to stay home, need alone time and don't enjoy social events for the most part, are you okay with who you are or do you sometimes wish you were more outgoing and adventurous?

[MomatHWTK]

Do extroverts wish they were less social? 

 

No I don't feel bad about note being an extrovert.  My adventures just don't require lots of extra people. 

[Robin M]

Maybe when I was a lot younger, but now love the skin I'm in so it doesn't bother me.

[scrapbabe]

I guess I just sometimes feel badly for my extrovert kids who got stuck with a stick in the mud mom who doesn't like to get out much. ;)

[kbutton]

I enjoy some social events, but they suck the life out of me for days sometimes. I don't feel the need to be more adventurous--I know a lot of adventurous people who are big risk takers, broke, or bored if they have to do something ordinary. I am not sure that extreme is any better. :-) I do wish that I was more comfortable with folks coming over to my house. I prefer to have people on my own territory or at their house, but where we live, everyone meets somewhere. If they come over, it feels like it has to be a big production (with a few exceptions). It's not like that where I grew up, and I just can't get used to it. I grew up in a rural small town, and expectations there are much different. Social events there don't feel nearly as overwhelming, and with fewer things to do, you don't have to find a new group of friends every time your family changes their schedule. Red lights, driving in traffic, packing up the car, etc. stress me out. Where I grew up, many of the social outings were within walking distance, and there are about the same number of red lights in the whole town than I currently have between my house and the grocery store two miles away. Maybe the biggest difference is that in a small town, you always have some context--you don't have to figure out what to share/not share, explain/not explain, etc. because you probably already know something about the person by where they work, who they know, who their family is, where they went to school, etc.

[emcap]

All the time. I would love to be easy going and happy in a group, not shy, etc. I'm trying to get over it.

[VeritasMama]

I can be extroverted and socially engaging when I want to be. The older I get, the more I prefer to be a homebody. I only regret it in that it seems my husband is getting more outgoing with age, he wants to socialize more than I do at this point. When we met in college, we both had pretty active social lives, but he is even more outgoing now than he was then, while I'm settling down so to speak :)

[Guest submarines]

Absolutely okay with myself!!!

 

When I was younger I went through a period of trying to like parties, and maybe went to 3-4 of them. (It was a short period lol).

 

I think I'm pretty outgoing, though. I can chat to pretty much anyone about anything. I just don't like most social events, don't like parties, and I love staying home. So I'm not an extreme introvert, and I can handle a party, but I don't enjoy them and I would always rather stay home and recharge in other ways.

[Hunter's Moon]

I can be outgoing, but it is so draining that I need a few days to recover afterwards. 

 

It is who I am, and I am slowly coming to accept that. Of course I wish I was more extroverted at times, though. 

[Rosie_0801]

No. I am as legitimately human, the way I am, as anyone else.
 

I do wish I had greater social skills and knowledge than I do, but I don't see that as the same as feeling ashamed of being an introvert. I put it in the same category as wishing I had a better memory. It'd be good to have, painful to learn though I'm capable, but there's nothing much I can do about it just now so I focus on other things.

[scrapbabe]

No. I am as legitimately human, the way I am, as anyone else.

 

I do wish I had greater social skills and knowledge than I do, but I don't see that as the same as feeling ashamed of being an introvert. I put it in the same category as wishing I had a better memory. It'd be good to have, painful to learn though I'm capable, but there's nothing much I can do about it just now so I focus on other things.

. I don't mean feeling ashamed of who you are. Sometimes I just wish I could enjoy social things more. I can be social but I prefer not to be. Sometimes when people post pics on Facebook about the fun things they're doing I wish that I could get out and do those things and be a little more carefree.

[Rosie_0801]

If you want to enjoy things you don't enjoy, there must be some kind of reason and so probably some solutions. There are social things I'd like to be involved in, but the cost is too high. I know better than to stay out past my bedtime, because I have a small boy who will greet the world enthusiastically before dawn. There are other social things I have no desire to do at all. Nightclubbing? No thanks. Not fun at all. I might like fancy restaurants if I felt confident I knew the right manners. I'm sure I am capable of learning the manners. I'm sure I could learn how to dress if I had enough money to spend and someone to advise me. I'm sure I will forever hate small talk, lol.

What is it you wish you could enjoy? Maybe we can work out what to do about it. 

[MamaSheep]

I am an extreme introvert. My dream vacation is a month alone in a cabin in the woods with nobody around for miles and miles and miles....But I do enjoy socializing, I just like it in small doses and with people I like enough to invest all that energy in. And I never wish I were any different. I like me. I like being me. I like the things I do and wish all the extroverts in my life would quit bugging me so I can go off in blissful solitude and do my stuff. 

 

I do think that you can be an introvert and still get out and do things and be carefree. Is it possible that you have some anxiety and/or depression issues in addition to being an introvert? Either of those can make you feel like you can't get out and do what you want whether your an introvert or an extrovert, and both of those things can be changed with appropriate help so you can get out and do what you want (even if what you want to do is stay in. :) ). 

[HRAAB]

I am perfectly okay with myself.  The only thing I struggle with is that it is hard on my girls.  They are not introverts (one is maybe a little bit of an introvert).  I've had to force myself to be more social to open doors for them.  Afterwards, I need some serious down time.  Now that they have established their own friendships, all I need to do is provide transportation.

[elegantlion]

I am an introvert who enjoys social outings. I just schedule them less, and control them more. I can not leave the house for a week and finally notice about day 5 or 6. 

 

I do much better in environments where I know people already or there is an agenda. I can even do chit-chat because I'm genuinely curious about people. 

 

Too many functions in a row drain me though. Scheduling is key for the introvert, learning to say no is good too. 

[Parrothead]

I don't wish I wasn't an introvert. I do wish I had a different personality. Either I'm too loud and excitable or when I try to turn that off I become priggish and snooty. Or so I've been told.

[MicheleinMN]

What really gets to me is not that I prefer to stay home, but that other people (acquaintances) seem to think that it's okay to tell me that I "need to get out more."  I would NEVER presume to tell them that perhaps their family would benefit if they would "just stay home more."  

 

Just a pet peeve of mine.

[Word Nerd]

I live in a family of introverts except for the youngest. I enjoy social events and going out--just not all the time. I don't mind going out, but I don't want to bring others in. I do feel bad that I'm not more hospitable and don't enjoy having people in my home. When I'm home I usually want to be left alone or with my family, and I'm a stick in the mud about having kids over to play.

[Dustybug]

I feel badly sometimes because my introvert nature causes me to seem rude at times.  I've been dealing with these lately since I'm due to give birth any time now: "No, I would prefer you did not drop by the hospital after I have my baby." "No, I do not need meals delivered to my house after I come home."  :/  Maybe it IS rude, but there are times when I simply do NOT want other people around and I'm not willing to sacrifice my personal comfort level to make others feel better. 

[ThisIsTheDay]

No, but sometimes I think it would be nice if I wanted to be more social.  But I'm glad I'm not.

 

It's similar to exercising.  Sometimes I think it would be nice if I actually did.  But I'm glad I don't.

 

:laugh:

[lllll]

..

[scrapbabe]

If you want to enjoy things you don't enjoy, there must be some kind of reason and so probably some solutions. There are social things I'd like to be involved in, but the cost is too high. I know better than to stay out past my bedtime, because I have a small boy who will greet the world enthusiastically before dawn. There are other social things I have no desire to do at all. Nightclubbing? No thanks. Not fun at all. I might like fancy restaurants if I felt confident I knew the right manners. I'm sure I am capable of learning the manners. I'm sure I could learn how to dress if I had enough money to spend and someone to advise me. I'm sure I will forever hate small talk, lol.

 

What is it you wish you could enjoy? Maybe we can work out what to do about it.

 

Well, it probably stems from the fact that I have a 6 month old, I feel fat, ugly, and don't want to be seen by anyone, but I wanna put on a pair of my cute jeans (that don't fit) and get out. My best friend just went off the deep end and we don't talk anymore, so I don't have someone to hang with that doesn't make my anxiety go up. I don't have anyone that I feel comfortable being around since having the baby.

[scrapbabe]

I feel badly sometimes because my introvert nature causes me to seem rude at times.  I've been dealing with these lately since I'm due to give birth any time now: "No, I would prefer you did not drop by the hospital after I have my baby." "No, I do not need meals delivered to my house after I come home."  :/  Maybe it IS rude, but there are times when I simply do NOT want other people around and I'm not willing to sacrifice my personal comfort level to make others feel better. 

This is so me.  I just had a baby in February and I could not convince my family that I didn't want them to come and stay with me.  They live 300 miles away, so they wouldn't just be visiting, they would be bunking.  It ruffled a few feathers.

[scrapbabe]

I am an extreme introvert. My dream vacation is a month alone in a cabin in the woods with nobody around for miles and miles and miles....But I do enjoy socializing, I just like it in small doses and with people I like enough to invest all that energy in. And I never wish I were any different. I like me. I like being me. I like the things I do and wish all the extroverts in my life would quit bugging me so I can go off in blissful solitude and do my stuff. 

 

I do think that you can be an introvert and still get out and do things and be carefree. Is it possible that you have some anxiety and/or depression issues in addition to being an introvert? Either of those can make you feel like you can't get out and do what you want whether your an introvert or an extrovert, and both of those things can be changed with appropriate help so you can get out and do what you want (even if what you want to do is stay in. :) ). 

Well since having thyroid cancer a few years ago, and having it removed, it has been a struggle regulating my medications enough to not have anxiety/depression.  I was always prone to it, but messing with my thyroid made it worse.  So there is a little of that, but nowhere near what it was a year ago.  I'm actually just coming out of a "dark" period, so maybe that's why I wish so badly to get out.  But as I posted above, the baby weight is also a source of anxiety for me.  I hate to leave the house.

[Sahamamama]

. I don't mean feeling ashamed of who you are. Sometimes I just wish I could enjoy social things more. I can be social but I prefer not to be. Sometimes when people post pics on Facebook about the fun things they're doing I wish that I could get out and do those things and be a little more carefree.

 

Public Service Announcement: Facebook isn't real. ;)

 

Thought #1: Facebook, blogs, Pinterest, and the like are all putting a certain "beautiful, perfect life" spin on things. It isn't a person's real, entire, warts-and-all life, you know? If you wanted to, you could probably make your life look GREAT on the screen, but would that be the whole story? Just keep that in mind when you visit the sites.

 

Thought #2: Why can't you get out and do those things? Why can't you be a little more carefree? If something online motivates you to want to "do more," then turn the computer OFF and go do it.

 

Then take pictures and post them on FB. LOL. :)

[Sahamamama]

I am an introvert who enjoys social outings. I just schedule them less, and control them more. I can not leave the house for a week and finally notice about day 5 or 6. 

 

I do much better in environments where I know people already or there is an agenda. I can even do chit-chat because I'm genuinely curious about people. 

 

Too many functions in a row drain me though. Scheduling is key for the introvert, learning to say no is good too. 

 

Paula, there are times when I think we are monozygotic twins separated at birth.

[Sahamamama]

Well, it probably stems from the fact that I have a 6 month old, I feel fat, ugly, and don't want to be seen by anyone, but I wanna put on a pair of my cute jeans (that don't fit) and get out.   My best friend just went off the deep end and we don't talk anymore, so I don't have someone to hang with that doesn't make my anxiety go up.   I don't have anyone that I feel comfortable being around since having the baby, not even my cute, skinny sisters whom I love dearly. ;)

 

Then in that case, I would put this baby in a stroller and go for long walks by myself. Takes care of lots of things, all at once.

 

Your cute, skinny sisters (if they live nearby) can babysit your kids while you go for long walks alone. There's nothing wrong with time alone, if we know how to balance it for our optimal well-being.

 

[swellmomma]

I am fine with being me so no I don't feel badly.  I put myself out there but it can take a long time to recoup from it.  Like we just got back from bible camp where I spent a lot of time being outgoing, adventurous, socializing etc, then I followed that up with 2 days working a huge event.  It will likely take me 2 weeks to recover from the strain it puts me under.  I do that once a year, beyond that I am good.  For me, I find when I have tried to be something more than I am I get bit in the butt and people show me again and again that I am right to keep to myself and do my thing, because when people get together they just get mean and callus. It can be a self fullfilling prophecy for sure.  I put myself out there, try to be more of an extrovert etc and people tear me down, proving why remaining in my safe shell is better, so I retreat, then have to face feeling guilt for that, so I try to be more of an extrovert etc.  After the last time, I have decided the walls are better left perpetually up, and I am happy to be me in my shell with no risk and no pain.  I will do my camp once a year and then deal with the health issues of the stress it puts me under to be around people and that social so many days in a row, but beyond that nope.

[Sahamamama]

Well since having thyroid cancer a few years ago, and having it removed, it has been a struggle regulating my medications enough to not have anxiety/depression.  I was always prone to it, but messing with my thyroid made it worse.  So there is a little of that, but nowhere near what it was a year ago.  I'm actually just coming out of a "dark" period, so maybe that's why I wish so badly to get out.  But as I posted above, the baby weight is also a source of anxiety for me.  I hate to leave the house.

 

Scrapbabe, I had thyroid cancer, too, about 8-9 years ago now, I never remember. My memory went out with the thyroid, LOL.

 

Hmm... I was seriously hypothyroid about 5 years after my thyroidectomy. I read somewhere (later) that many people experience this shift -- suddenly, your regular dosage doesn't "keep up" with what is needed. You can gradually descend into hypo-status, and not even know what's happening. Then you put on weight (because your metabolism slows down), and the weight gain means you need more hormone... and so on. It's a downward spiral. It was for me. Horrible.

 

Here's what you do: MAKE YOUR HUSBAND ACCOUNTABLE and responsible for keeping an eye on you. You have to get someone ELSE to do this for you, because when you start to go hypo, your brain is not firing on all cylinders, KWIM? You can't get yourself up out of it, really.

 

Getting back to the exercise idea: GET MORNING SUNLIGHT, if possible. Put that baby in the stroller and go out the door. You don't have to be with people to be "getting out," do you? Get out with your baby, or alone, and just walk. Exercise will help in so many ways, especially if you can get as much of it as possible outdoors. I did eventually buy a treadmill, because we just have so many crappy weather days in New Jersey, but I walk outside whenever possible.

 

It does feel like coming up out of a deep hole, doesn't it? I'm glad to hear (in a way) that I'm not alone in that experience, though I certainly don't wish it on anyone! My meds are all good now. We keep track and on top of it to be sure I have the right energy level.

 

I think that a long, cold winter had something to do with me going hypo, too. This past winter I kept the heat up, and that seemed to help. I also started sleeping with a heating pad set to "low." It turns off after about 2 hours, but somehow the heat in the bed helps my body to regulate its night-time temperature better. I was shivering all the time, no matter what the thermostat said.

 

I also drink enormous amounts of water. Just enormous, like Niagara Falls. I don't know why this helps, but it does.

 

I am glad and thankful to be alive. Taking the thyroid out was life-changing. I know, they say everything will be the same, just take a little pink pill. They lie.

 

BUT... we are alive, you know. We are going to be here for our children, Lord willing. I am glad to be alive and well. :grouphug:

[Joanne]

Well, no.

 

But my life has unfolded in a way that being able to stay home is not an option.

During less demanding parenting years, I made it a point to get out and interact because of one or two of my extroverted kids. I figured I could suck it up better than they could.

 

But, then, although I am very introverted and interaction drains me, I don't mind it and don't disenjoy it.

[Guest]

Until recently I felt terrible about "what is the matter with me" and my unsuccesful attempts to be who the people I loved wanted me to be, either through sheer force of will or psychiatric medication.

 

It didn't work any better than deciding that I didn't want to be a girl any more did when I was 8.

 

It's positively HUGE for me to realize that I'm okay the way I am and that there are other people like me. I wish I had known when I was raising my extroverts because dd's comments about how i was going to turn into "the crazy cat lady who hasn't left her house in years" hurt.

 

One of the most loving things 21yods does for me is running to the store when I don't want to leave the house for weeks at a time instead of saying, "It's only two blocks away. Why can't you do it yourself?"

 

5yods doesn't have any problems getting along with other kids, but so far he doesn't seem to feel that deprived when I need to recharge my introvert batteries and he's comfortable with sitters when I absolutely have to have "alone time".

 

I was even able to tell one of my new homeschooling friends "that's just the way I am" today. Maybe it's more acceptable for older women to keep to themselves than it is for twentysomethings or maybe there's just more acceptance now.

 

Chucki, I have the same problem. It is possible for me to be VERY outgoing and sociable online when I'm in the right mood, but it exhausts me and annoys other people who assume I'm spamming when I'm just feeling temporarily enthusiastic and chatty.

[Laura Corin]

I'm fine with who I am, but I am aware of the risks.  My mother is an introvert, and while she had children and a husband at home, she did fine.  Once we all left, she was very much on her own.  Over time, listening only to her own take on the world, she has become more and more fearful.  She's very old now - I'm sure that that is a factor - but her lack of social interaction is not good for her mental health.

 

I am a member of two book groups and a community choir.  I don't intend to drop any of those while I can still stagger to them.  Currently I work outside the home and have family around me; at some point, those other routine interactions may be key.

 

L

[Sahamamama]

I'm fine with who I am, but I am aware of the risks.  My mother is an introvert, and while she had children and a husband at home, she did fine.  Once we all left, she was very much on her own.  Over time, listening only to her own take on the world, she has become more and more fearful.  She's very old now - I'm sure that that is a factor - but her lack of social interaction is not good for her mental health.

 

I am a member of two book groups and a community choir.  I don't intend to drop any of those while I can still stagger to them.  Currently I work outside the home and have family around me; at some point, those other routine interactions may be key.

 

L

 

These are good reminders for me.

 

When I worked at the public library years ago, there were the morning regulars -- patrons who came in every morning as the doors were opened, and stayed until past noon. They were generally widowers who did not want to spend each day alone. So they came each morning to the library to read the newspapers, chat quietly, and fall asleep in patches of sunlight.

[Arcadia]

Over time, listening only to her own take on the world, she has become more and more fearful. She's very old now - I'm sure that that is a factor - but her lack of social interaction is not good for her mental health.

 

:iagree:

I used to be heavy into small group volunteer work. I had not have a chance to take part in regular volunteering since coming here and it makes it easier to get emotionally down close to the level of mild depression.

On one hand I can't stand small talk eventhough I can do it if required. On the other hand I do need in-person social interactions to keep sane. That's why I hangout at the library, people watching can be relaxing for me.

[Laura Corin]

 

When I worked at the public library years ago, there were the morning regulars -- patrons who came in every morning as the doors were opened, and stayed until past noon. They were generally widowers who did not want to spend each day alone. So they came each morning to the library to read the newspapers, chat quietly, and fall asleep in patches of sunlight.

 

This pattern is what I used to see in cafes in France, and it still exists in some pubs in Britain.  It was all for men, however: the just turn up and chat with the other regulars didn't seem to be the norm for women.  

 

L

[scrapbabe]

I am fine with being me so no I don't feel badly. I put myself out there but it can take a long time to recoup from it. Like we just got back from bible camp where I spent a lot of time being outgoing, adventurous, socializing etc, then I followed that up with 2 days working a huge event. It will likely take me 2 weeks to recover from the strain it puts me under. I do that once a year, beyond that I am good. For me, I find when I have tried to be something more than I am I get bit in the butt and people show me again and again that I am right to keep to myself and do my thing, because when people get together they just get mean and callus. It can be a self fullfilling prophecy for sure. I put myself out there, try to be more of an extrovert etc and people tear me down, proving why remaining in my safe shell is better, so I retreat, then have to face feeling guilt for that, so I try to be more of an extrovert etc. After the last time, I have decided the walls are better left perpetually up, and I am happy to be me in my shell with no risk and no pain. I will do my camp once a year and then deal with the health issues of the stress it puts me under to be around people and that social so many days in a row, but beyond that nope.

I totally get every word you said. :)

[Sisyphus]

One of my kids is an extrovert, and I wish I were more so for him. He wants me to socialize with the other moms at activities, and I just...don't want to, lol. I do, for him, but it's so draining. I have to prepare myself, I am not a spontaneous "oh sure, let's all go to dinner" type person. And I wish I was, for him.

 

I suppose it's good in a way- he needs enough disfunction in his childhood to be interesting after all.

[Jaybee]

In many ways, I am happy with my introvert self. What brings me pause, is that sometimes I am pretty sure I am being selfish in not making the effort to do or care for others--people I love who need some encouragement or help, or helping meet needs in my community. I don't want to become self-absorbed (in contrast to healthy self-care) and fail to reach out to others because the effort seems too much. The older I get, the more introverted I become, and I want to keep a balance of having interests and people outside of my home to challenge me and keep me learning and growing, in addition to those inside my home (or inside my books  :001_smile: ). I also have a strong extrovert son, and want to make sure I meet his needs while helping him learn to entertain himself a bit.  :tongue_smilie:

[Sahamamama]

This pattern is what I used to see in cafes in France, and it still exists in some pubs in Britain.  It was all for men, however: the just turn up and chat with the other regulars didn't seem to be the norm for women.  

 

L

 

According to my father, we also have this pattern here in the US -- at McDonald's. ;) All men, the morning regulars, sipping coffee and chatting each day.

 

I wonder what older women do, when they are alone? I like your ideas of book groups and a church choir. I'm going to remember those, if I can.

[Heather in Neverland]

I am totally fine with being an introvert. The only time I wish I was more extroverted is when it comes to school events for my job. As principal, there are a lot of events I have to be at or speak at, etc. I dread them. I love the events themselves. I just wish I could sit in a corner and watch it all from afar. Instead I must mingle and speak with all the parents and it takes a lot out of me. But I do it because it is my job then I go home and sleep. :)

[Laura Corin]

 

I wonder what older women do, when they are alone? I like your ideas of book groups and a church choir. I'm going to remember those, if I can.

 

Outgoing women do voluntary work or look after grandchildren.  I think that organised groups (knitting, quilting, books, singing) are good for the rest of us.  Not that we are off the hook as far as helping others, but there are less social ways of doing it.

 

L

[lea_lpz]

I always felt bad but am beginning to feel more comfortable with the fact I don't enjoy social situations all that much. I think being female and introverted is tough because people expect you to be more social and like to girl talk. Don't get me wrong, I have friends and enjoy having those deep discussions with a couple of cocktails on occasion, and an occasional social event, but I tend to feel drained later. Aghh...and I hate small talk and gossip. This seems to be what most women enjoy most,

 

It's funny but dh is actually the social one in our marriage.

[Arcadia]

According to my father, we also have this pattern here in the US -- at McDonald's. ;) All men, the morning regulars, sipping coffee and chatting each day.

 

I wonder what older women do, when they are alone? I like your ideas of book groups and a church choir. I'm going to remember those, if I can.

For McDonalds here, the elderly couples and homeless will be hanging out there before lunch. The couples tend to be chatting and reading Mercury News (local paper). The guys will tend to appear after lunch and leave around dinner time. They enjoy chatting, watching CNN and surfing the internet.

I see elderly ladies at the libraries volunteering until past dinnertime, participating in book clubs and knitting clubs. Some volunteer at community gardens. Some serve as park docents. I had some elderly ladies as neighbors when staying in a service apartment. They prefer to rent as there is social activities for them like bridge club, bingo night, movie night without them having to walk much using their walking aid. Most have grandchildren who visit regularly and help with groceries shopping.

[Rosie_0801]

Well, it probably stems from the fact that I have a 6 month old, I feel fat, ugly, and don't want to be seen by anyone, but I wanna put on a pair of my cute jeans (that don't fit) and get out.   My best friend just went off the deep end and we don't talk anymore, so I don't have someone to hang with that doesn't make my anxiety go up.   I don't have anyone that I feel comfortable being around since having the baby, not even my cute, skinny sisters whom I love dearly. ;)

 

:grouphug:

Happily the 6 month old will grow! Though I can relate to that feeling because our social lives are still severely impaired by my 4.5yo. I hold out hopes that he will become civilised at some point, but I no longer have hope it will be soon. 

 

You don't look fat and ugly, you look the way dutiful mothers of small children look, which is tired. The reason you don't see the thousands of other mothers that look like that is because they are at home too, or they are out at work, hiding the bags under their eyes with lots of make up that we stay at home mums can't afford.  :laugh: 

 

Jeans were invented to make everyone miserable. This is why they always shrink in the wash. It's to make us all feel fatter than when we last wore them. Evil pants. That's what they are. Probably the solution to that is to nip over to the skirt wearing thread and buy a nice draw string or elastic skirt. They are more polite about expressing opinions than evil jeans are.

 

AND, just to make you feel better, you may imagine how ugly I look atm. I'm supposedly recovering from a tonsillectomy, but I keep getting pain through my jaw and ears, so to keep them warm, I'm sitting in bed with my face peeking through the head hole of a pink poncho, which is wrapped around my head like the worst fitting hijab the world has ever seen. I look completely ridiculous and beyond pathetic.

 

If I lived locally, I'd invite you out to see and be seen drinking a bottle of non-alcoholic wine in a safely fenced in playground and we'd laugh and laugh at the ridiculousness. No anxiety problems, I promise, I'd just make you drink more :p

[scrapbabe]

Scrapbabe, I had thyroid cancer, too, about 8-9 years ago now, I never remember. My memory went out with the thyroid, LOL.

 

Hmm... I was seriously hypothyroid about 5 years after my thyroidectomy. I read somewhere (later) that many people experience this shift -- suddenly, your regular dosage doesn't "keep up" with what is needed. You can gradually descend into hypo-status, and not even know what's happening. Then you put on weight (because your metabolism slows down), and the weight gain means you need more hormone... and so on. It's a downward spiral. It was for me. Horrible.

 

Here's what you do: MAKE YOUR HUSBAND ACCOUNTABLE and responsible for keeping an eye on you. You have to get someone ELSE to do this for you, because when you start to go hypo, your brain is not firing on all cylinders, KWIM? You can't get yourself up out of it, really.

 

Getting back to the exercise idea: GET MORNING SUNLIGHT, if possible. Put that baby in the stroller and go out the door. You don't have to be with people to be "getting out," do you? Get out with your baby, or alone, and just walk. Exercise will help in so many ways, especially if you can get as much of it as possible outdoors. I did eventually buy a treadmill, because we just have so many crappy weather days in New Jersey, but I walk outside whenever possible.

 

It does feel like coming up out of a deep hole, doesn't it? I'm glad to hear (in a way) that I'm not alone in that experience, though I certainly don't wish it on anyone! My meds are all good now. We keep track and on top of it to be sure I have the right energy level.

 

I think that a long, cold winter had something to do with me going hypo, too. This past winter I kept the heat up, and that seemed to help. I also started sleeping with a heating pad set to "low." It turns off after about 2 hours, but somehow the heat in the bed helps my body to regulate its night-time temperature better. I was shivering all the time, no matter what the thermostat said.

 

I also drink enormous amounts of water. Just enormous, like Niagara Falls. I don't know why this helps, but it does.

 

I am glad and thankful to be alive. Taking the thyroid out was life-changing. I know, they say everything will be the same, just take a little pink pill. They lie.

 

BUT... we are alive, you know. We are going to be here for our children, Lord willing. I am glad to be alive and well. :grouphug:

. Oh I love you!! Thank you, thank you for this post! Hardly anyone really ever gets it. It's so good to hear from someone who understands.

[scrapbabe]

:grouphug:

Happily the 6 month old will grow! Though I can relate to that feeling because our social lives are still severely impaired by my 4.5yo. I hold out hopes that he will become civilised at some point, but I no longer have hope it will be soon.

 

You don't look fat and ugly, you look the way dutiful mothers of small children look, which is tired. The reason you don't see the thousands of other mothers that look like that is because they are at home too, or they are out at work, hiding the bags under their eyes with lots of make up that we stay at home mums can't afford. :laugh:

 

Jeans were invented to make everyone miserable. This is why they always shrink in the wash. It's to make us all feel fatter than when we last wore them. Evil pants. That's what they are. Probably the solution to that is to nip over to the skirt wearing thread and buy a nice draw string or elastic skirt. They are more polite about expressing opinions than evil jeans are.

 

AND, just to make you feel better, you may imagine how ugly I look atm. I'm supposedly recovering from a tonsillectomy, but I keep getting pain through my jaw and ears, so to keep them warm, I'm sitting in bed with my face peeking through the head hole of a pink poncho, which is wrapped around my head like the worst fitting hijab the world has ever seen. I look completely ridiculous and beyond pathetic.

 

If I lived locally, I'd invite you out to see and be seen drinking a bottle of non-alcoholic wine in a safely fenced in playground and we'd laugh and laugh at the ridiculousness. No anxiety problems, I promise, I'd just make you drink more :p

. Bless you and thank you! You totally made me smile.

[MistyMountain]

I have been getting out a lot this summer. I do enjoy going out and interacting with one or two others at a time. I can talk to people and interact but i'm sure I am a lot less social then in my mind. ;) I am finding though at the end of the day I am burnt and need quiet time to decompress and then I end up staying up way too late to have a quiet house and I have no mental energy left. I realized the toll it takes on me today when I finally just took a day off with nothing planned and I was just drained and didn't get started on what I planned on doing until much later and I was quiet stressed.

[lailasmum]

When I was younger I was probably less at peace with it but now I'm so happy with being an introvert. I can't see the point of attempting to do things I hate, life is too short. I realise I have to balance my quiet time. Having said that my quiet time is my favourite time, I can be in my head with my camera in hand or reading and researching or doing other things I love. In a way people distract me from interesting things so I generally find them boring experiencess not just draining. I like to walk and explore out in the world, I just like to play the part of the observer a lot.

[SKL]

It depends on the context.  I used to have a job that required marketing my professional services.  I was supposed to be "networking" in order to drum up business opportunities.  I could not stand networking.  I finally figured out that I could sell more by doing a good job, leading to referrals by people who knew my worth, and then I could propose my services on more of a technical level.  No schmoozing required.  There were still some uncomfortable moments, but at least it wasn't constant.  Now I have business partners who accept that I'm not the marketer in the group.  I never did understand why, in my previous job, they expected every person to be good at marketing, technical stuff, management, and a few other things.

 

I do wonder if my introversion has made my kids a little backward.  Why did it take them so long to talk to anyone other than me?  Why are they still afraid to talk to people they don't know well?  Why is it that sometimes their manners are below par?  Could be because they hardly ever observe me talking to anyone outside of my little circle.  :P  And they don't have a dad to counterbalance this.

[Seasider]

I am glad to understand the skin that I'm in. Being able to define introversion and know that alone time is restorative is key to my healthy mental life.

 

However, I must be aware that there is a fine line between that introvert need for alone time and just plain selfishness. When I put my need for the revered quiet time over actions and activities that meet the needs of my immediate family members, there are times I am definitely just being selfish.

 

I do have a dh that understands my need, and respects it. That's not true of all my extended family members. So while I don't feel bad about being somewhat of an introvert, I do feel bad that they don't understand me, and choose to take offense at my apparently lower level of involvement in large family activities. But it's honestly their problem, not mine. I spent many years seeking approval from certain folks, and I tell ya, approval seeking + introversion is an exhausting combination. I am much healthier lying low and not attempting to jump hoops set out by others. I just wish they were more understanding.