At what age would you let kids go to the park alone together?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Would you let a 13-year-old, an almost-11year-old, and an almost 8-year-old go to the park together by themselves for an hour or so? This is a park in the middle of town, where the local sports field is. There is a busy road to cross, but I think the older two could navigate it at a non-rush hour time, or I could drop them off and pick them up. There's also a small wooded area, but it's mostly a preschool building, play area, small parking lot, shallow stream (maybe 8-10 inches), and lots of open field/sports field space.

 

WWYD?

[Laura Corin]

I'd worry about the road. It depends on the child, but my second son was not safe on roads at 11 and definitely not at 8. I'd not have wanted to put a 13yo in charge of him at those ages - he was just too impulsive.

 

We moved to Scotland when Hobbes was eight. He was roaming public-access woodland on his own from about age nine.

 

L

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I let my 13 and 10 yr old go to the park alone. They take a watch (or phone) and must stay together. No one leaves or stays alone. We live in a smaller town, but it isn't immune from the dangers of larger towns.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I'd worry about the road. It depends on the child, but my second son was not safe on roads at 11 and definitely not at 8. I'd not have wanted to put a 13yo in charge of him at those ages - he was just too impulsive.

 

We moved to Scotland when Hobbes was eight. He was roaming public-access woodland on his own from about age nine.

 

L

 

 

Worry about the road as in, the 7-year-old might accidentally wander into it? I'm definitely not worried about that part. The park is set back from the road enough that that part isn't really an issue. This child is far more likely to get soaked in the stream. She'll be the one pretending she lives in the woods :lol: I am a little concerned about them crossing the road to get to the park, but it might also be a good time to walk them down there and have them practice crossing while I watch.

 

Public-access woodland in Scotland *sigh* That sounds like heaven right there. American suburbs are SO boring!

[catz]

I have a 12 year old and a just turned 9 year old. They haven't done this to this point, but my oldest has with kids closer to his age. I'd consider allowing it for the first time this summer. I would definitely not let my youngest gets without oldest.

[Laura Corin]

Public-access woodland in Scotland *sigh* That sounds like heaven right there. American suburbs are SO boring!

 

Almost all of Scotland is public access. We do love it here.

 

L

[Luckymama]

My older two were allowed to go to the park or on bike rides (not major roads) at 12 and 10.

[Coco_Clark]

Mine are too little for me to know what I'd do, but every time these kinds of threads come up I think times have sure changed (and I'm not even that old!). When I was 11 (and my siblings 9 and 8) our summer babysitter was 13. We walked across a very busy road, probably a half mile, to a park that was full of children around our age and very few if any adults. And we didn't have cells of course. I distinctly remember my 8 year old brother riding his bike there alone that summer, and i remember riding mine to the grocery store alone to pick up chocolate chips or some other needed ingredient for cookies. I never thought it was weird at the time, but then again maybe it was and my mom was a wild "free range" parent without me ever knowing it!

[bolt.]

For me, it would depend how far away it is for you to get there, how they could/would contact you, and how the older ones generally treat the younger one in unsupervised play situations.

 

If I gave them a walkie-talkie and chatted with them from time to time, that would help me a lot. I think I'd also need to be less than (maybe?) 5 minutes away -- that's where my comfort level is, but my kids aren't that old yet, so I may well feel quite different by then.

[swellmomma]

In the beginning I would supervise their crossing to be sure they were being safe but otherwise I think those ages is fine. My 9 year old currently takes my 5 year old to the park to play without me. Although it is only 1/2 a block away in a tiny rural town where rush hour means 2 cars drove by in a row lol. Back in the city my big kids then 11 and 10 were not allowed to go alone because there was issues with drug deals happening in the park. My #1 rule is follow your gut. My personal take on it is: it's time for the olders to be given more freedoms and more responsibilities, and being at the park on their own fits the bill. I can see not letting the 8 year old go alone due to that road but with the 2 older kids I think it is perfectly fine. I assume at some point in the last 8-13 years of parenting you have taught them safe road crossing procedures.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

For me, it would depend how far away it is for you to get there, how they could/would contact you, and how the older ones generally treat the younger one in unsupervised play situations.

 

If I gave them a walkie-talkie and chatted with them from time to time, that would help me a lot. I think I'd also need to be less than (maybe?) 5 minutes away -- that's where my comfort level is, but my kids aren't that old yet, so I may well feel quite different by then.

 

 

2 minutes by car, 5-7 by walking. They don't even have to cross a street to get there before they hit that main road. Both the older girls have cell phones. The older girls treat the younger one well enough (she's a mature kid and can hang with the older girls generally). Oh, I wish our walkie-talkies worked! That would be great, but they are dead. The cells should do it though.

 

My problem is, my paranoid brain envisions someone abducting the youngest when the olders turn their back for a minute, and that busy road leads right to an interstate highway. I picture someone throwing her into a van and zooming off before anyone is the wiser, you know? I know--I KNOW--the statistics on that, and the unlikelihood, and I know that when I was a child, I was walking my 6-year-old self home from school, across town and over deserted train tracks, to an empty house every day, and tooling around town on my bike, etc. But still, it would just be so simple, and they could be off before the older girls even turned back around.

 

So I'm trying to convince my rational side to overcome my paranoid side, because I think these kids need more freedom.

 

It's hard. My imagination is so vivid.

[Word Nerd]

Would you let a 13-year-old, an almost-11year-old, and an almost 8-year-old go to the park together by themselves for an hour or so? This is a park in the middle of town, where the local sports field is. There is a busy road to cross, but I think the older two could navigate it at a non-rush hour time, or I could drop them off and pick them up. There's also a small wooded area, but it's mostly a preschool building, play area, small parking lot, shallow stream (maybe 8-10 inches), and lots of open field/sports field space.

 

WWYD?

 

 

I would have no problem with that scenario. (I've also been chastised here and told I need to wake up and stop risking my kids' lives because I let them walk a couple of blocks to school or to our corner store, so YMMV.)

[bolt.]

Perhaps you would be happier if 8yo had a cell? Or took yours? Or had one of the older girls' if they are more likely to be together with one another?

 

The thing about interstates is that they have infrequent exits and it is easy for law enforcement to follow up on a car based on when it 'hopped on' and which exits it could have taken. They can go 'further faster' but they are a great deal more predictable. Normal town streets are less fast, but provide many routes to many places... I don't think the interstate makes it inherently a worse place to play.

 

On the other hand, perhaps you would enjoy a regularly occurring park day of your own. With a lawn chair and a bag of things to amuse yourself you might be able to treat it like a vacation. It's not like you'd need to be supervising or roaming all over with them. It sounds like it would be nice to just be on-hand, for your own peace of mind. You could work up to lone-trips by popping home to get lunch, leaving a bit before them, arriving a bit after them, doing a quick errand and coming back... that sort of thing. (If there are predators scoping your park -- SOOO unlikely -- they would see the girls as somewhat supervised and choose a better target.)

[happymomofboys]

I live next door to a playground. I tried to allow my boys there alone when they were 8 and 6 and it was too soon. I tried again this year (11 and almost 9) and it was just right... as long as there are other kids there already and they check in with me every half hour. I'm very strict about keeping those two rules. However, they have friends who are 13, 10, 8, and 5 who roam the neighborhood on their bikes. They cross somewhat busy streets and a bridge to get to the playground next door. After watching their behavior and hosting them in our yard to play a few times, I have to say I am not comfortable with a 13-year-old having that much responsibility over the little ones. Of course, these particular kids seem to have very little supervision (away from home for 5-6 hours with no observable contact with their parents) and that probably has a lot to do with my opinion.

[Unicorn.]

My answer would partly depend on your town. How safe do you feel your town is? I would probably be okay w/ the 13 and 11 yo going, but not the 8 yo. And only if they both had cell phones. We live in a pretty safe town, but perverts are on the rise around here. When my dc were 8-10 they ran the neighborhood for hours. Now, I think I'm more concerned about my almost 15 yo girls being somewhere alone than I was then. Circumstances can change quickly. :(

[Jilly]

With a 13-year-old I wouldn't worry about it at all.

[Stellalarella]

I think it's fine. Really.

 

One of the side benefits of not sending a cell phone is that then the kids have to use critical thinking skills on their own--can't call home to ask. I think it would be more important for the children to have a watch than a cell phone.

 

Just practice with them what to do if a need arises.

[Momling]

I'd vote Yes! I let my 11 & 9 yr old go the park together.

[Annie G]

I vote yes. Even though it's been quite a while since my kids were that young (and I know things change), they learned a lot about responsibility by being allowed some freedom to go places in our town. That was before we had cell phones and they had to check their watches and be home at a certain time. Their destination of choice was our town's pool/park. They walked or rode their bikes through the cemetery to get there and stayed for a few hours. I can imagine many of you are cringing at that- being at a pool, no cell phone, for hours.

[LostSurprise]

13 and 11 should be fine for most kids. The 8 year old would depend on how 'sticktogetherish' the kids are. Would the 13 and 11 year olds genuinely look out for her? Would she stay near them? Does she listen to them?

 

I'd probably be more concerned that the 8 year old would disappear into the woods during a session of pretend and her sibs wouldn't know where she was. I'm not a big fan of 8 year olds in the woods alone (we have a ton of them around here and a lot of older kids roam).

 

We started by letting the older two go alone with a cell. Let them build up credibility. Then I analyzed the responsibility level of all concerned. Then we did car drop-offs with a cell. Then they walked together but were back at a specific time. My #3 is hyper responsible though. I didn't have too many qualms. My #4 (8 years old) though...gee, I can't even imagine letting the oldest babysit him. Yikes. My older kids are responsible but he needs a stronger hand than I can expect from most teens.

[Tita Gidge]

Would you let a 13-year-old, an almost-11year-old, and an almost 8-year-old go to the park together by themselves for an hour or so? This is a park in the middle of town, where the local sports field is. There is a busy road to cross, but I think the older two could navigate it at a non-rush hour time, or I could drop them off and pick them up. There's also a small wooded area, but it's mostly a preschool building, play area, small parking lot, shallow stream (maybe 8-10 inches), and lots of open field/sports field space.

 

WWYD?

 

Mine traveled in a pack, so I didn't worry much. And our family dynamic expects the younger kids to listen to the older kids anyhow, so that wouldn't have been a deterring factor. They're encouraged to be responsible for each other, always - not just in certain situations. This gives me peace in situations like yours. But I know this isn't how all families operate, so it may take some work ensuring the older kids know how to keep tabs on your youngest (and to ensure they even want to or feel comfortable doing so.)

 

My youngest kids are 7, 11, 12 and 13. They frequently go to the park, grocery store, ballfields and batting cages, and Starbucks without me. My rule is there needs to be at least three and they have to stay/go together - majority rules. None of them have cell phones. Well, my 12 year old has a cell phone that he bought himself but it's the kind you buy minutes for and he's usually out of minutes LOL. The four of them get along pretty well, and my 7 year old is mature for her age (and desperate to keep being invited, so she's always "good" for the boys). To leave our neighborhood they cross the main drag, which is a two-lane road. It has a crosswalk, but no light directing the flow of it - it's just there, almost like a suggestion. From there they cross larger streets, but all have lights directing the crosswalks.

 

My older boys did the same when they were those ages. Never had any problems, but my sons all have a pretty easy-going personalities. If one or any were a bit more ... intense ... I may have made different choices. A few times something felt off, so I kept them home (telling them exactly that). But generally I trust my gut, and it gave the green light 99% of the time. If ever I felt weird, the park was a 10 minute car ride and I could do a drive-by. I follow these same guidelines still, with my younger ones.

[LucyStoner]

Yes I would.

 

My general answer is that it depends on the park, their ages and the kids maturity level. I let my 9-10 year old go to the playground by himself (it is very close) but there are older kids that I would not and maybe even slightly younger kids that I would. It is very dependent on the kid and the circumstances.

[unsinkable]

I'd be fine with what you described.

[Celia]

I'd be fine with that. I let my 9 and 6 year old go to the park on their own though, with a cell phone. We live in a pretty safe neighbourhood. But when I was 12, I'd take the kids I babysat (ages 6,3 and 1) to the park all the time. There always have been perverts around. It's publicized a lot more now, and people end up too freaked out. It really depends on the kids though. You know the responsibility level your kids have, so trust your gut there. Just don't let yourself be ruled by those irrational fears. That'll rub off on your kids and they'll be needlessly anxious. That's no way to live.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Would you let a 13-year-old, an almost-11year-old, and an almost 8-year-old go to the park together by themselves for an hour or so? This is a park in the middle of town, where the local sports field is. There is a busy road to cross, but I think the older two could navigate it at a non-rush hour time, or I could drop them off and pick them up. There's also a small wooded area, but it's mostly a preschool building, play area, small parking lot, shallow stream (maybe 8-10 inches), and lots of open field/sports field space.

 

WWYD?

 

 

I would and did something similar at those ages but only you know your children the best.- and the area.

[SKL]

Would you let a 13-year-old, an almost-11year-old, and an almost 8-year-old go to the park together by themselves for an hour or so? This is a park in the middle of town, where the local sports field is. There is a busy road to cross, but I think the older two could navigate it at a non-rush hour time, or I could drop them off and pick them up. There's also a small wooded area, but it's mostly a preschool building, play area, small parking lot, shallow stream (maybe 8-10 inches), and lots of open field/sports field space.

 

WWYD?

It depends on the kids and the park. I sent my girls together "alone" to the park at age 6. Our park is a mile away (if you stay on the sidewalk), and there is one small street to cross. I went and met them there after they'd had about half an hour to play. It was the right decision for my girls, but not everyone agrees with me on that.

[Coffeemama]

 

It depends on the kids and the park. I sent my girls together "alone" to the park at age 6. Our park is a mile away (if you stay on the sidewalk), and there is one small street to cross. I went and met them there after they'd had about half an hour to play. It was the right decision for my girls, but not everyone agrees with me on that.

 

I agree that it depends on the park. The one in my town is quite secluded, dark (in a small pine forest) with TONS of the big wooden structures (maze?) where strangers could be lurking.

Parks in neighboring towns that we visit are much more open and i would have no problem dropping them off for an hour during normal park hours. I would not send them alone during typical school hours, but summer, yes.

 

[Janie Grace]

OP, I'd let the two oldest go, but not a 7-year-old. That's too young/unpredictable for me. 10 is about my minimum age for doing things alone.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Thank you, everyone. The expected event never did pan out, but you've all given me a lot to think about for the future. I need to make some decisions about how I let these kids roam, especially now that they can (finally) both ride their bikes.

[Guest submarines]

Would you let a 13-year-old, an almost-11year-old, and an almost 8-year-old go to the park together by themselves for an hour or so? This is a park in the middle of town, where the local sports field is. There is a busy road to cross, but I think the older two could navigate it at a non-rush hour time, or I could drop them off and pick them up. There's also a small wooded area, but it's mostly a preschool building, play area, small parking lot, shallow stream (maybe 8-10 inches), and lots of open field/sports field space.

 

WWYD?

 

At those ages, for sure.

[mamakelly]

I let my 14 year old and 11 year old go to the park all the time by themselves. They have been doing it, since the 14 year old was 13. So yes, no big deal!

[Amy in NH]

By the time I'd let them go to the park alone they'd be too old to want to go. I know what kinds of trouble teens can get into at the park, and there are too many predators in the world for kids younger than that.

[texasmama]

My kids are close to those ages (my littlest three). I would let my almost 13 year old and my 10 1/2 year old go together without me, but I would not let the 7 year old go with them.