Are you too busy with your homeschool & family to volunteer at church or elsewhere?

[KIN]

I struggle with this myself, but I think I've made a realization. :) We so often are told (in the church and outside) that we are to take care of ourselves. I agree with this statement, to a point. I think we are to look outside of ourselves and our families and help others. Sometimes I think we even need to ask our families to make a sacrifice in order to serve others. Even if it is only giving up mommy an evening so she can sing on the worship team (or whatever).

 

I'm feeling like we are too often, and I'm including myself here, we think we need to care for our families first and never get around to serving others. What do you say? Our families are our calling? Or, we should look outside of our family even to the point of them sacrificing a bit to serve others?

[Philothea]

No, I'm not. My problem is that I hate driving around here, so I usually do things, if asked when DH can drive. Secondly, no one ever asks for me help, so I don't really have any opportunities.

[5wolfcubs]

Well, we volunteer as a family at a dairy farm. And at church we serve coffee and/or bring the cookies and bring/serve kids' church snacks. In the past we've delivered Meals on Wheels. Oh, and volunteered weekly at a nursing home visiting residents, calling bingo, helping with crafts.

 

Volunteering could be an education in and of itself...

[Tina]

I've been heavily involved as a volunteer for years. I was in Women of Today, in leadership positions for most of the 10 years, and during this time my boys were born. The kids have seen me teach SS all their lives, run VBS for the last 3 years, I was their Scout leader 1-6th grades, and have had positions on various homeschool boards and a church board (8 yrs).

Now that we are in high school, I feel I need more time to work with the boys than ever, plus I have to fit my dd's schooling in. This is the season of life I am choosing not to volunteer. I am still on one homeschool board, and I will lead Keepers of the Faith this year, but that's it. If I can get a replacement on the board, I'll be off that this year, too.

 

I do think it's important to show our kids that volunteering is important, that we can all contribute in various ways in our communities and churches. I think leading by example is the best way to do this. BUT- I want them to know it's not ALL about serving others. There are times when we need to sit back and regroup. My oldest is on the youth board at church now, which is a great way to start making a difference. All the Scout volunteer projects help, too. ;)

 

Just my two cents. :)

 

P.S. They also see their dad on a board and head of another, leading by example.

[milovany]

Agree with this -- the service/volunteering we do is as a family for the most part (we work with international students on our local campus). So that keeps us together as a family *while* blessing others. Plus it's a lot of FUN and a very effective outreach since the students LOVE it so much.

 

HTH!

[Kelli in TN]

I haven't read the other posts, but until June of 2008 I had the opposite problem. I was so busy serving others in church and community that my own family was getting shoved to the side.

 

I am taking a year of focusing on only the people who live in my house.

 

I will go back to serving at church, but later. Not now.

[Twinmom]

I have to keep myself seriously limited at this point in my life. Homeschooling is a part of that, but bigger factors are my kids' ages and special needs. We do volunteer at church, but not as much as I'd like. Maybe more can happen in a couple of years.

[VaKim]

I think for this season of our lives, our families are our jobs. Not that you can't do anything else, but no one should be made to feel guilty for not volunteering or working outside the home.

 

Titus 2

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,

*4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,

*5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

 

1 Timothy 5

14 Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach;

[Sue G in PA]

I think it depends on the person, too. Some women are simply more capable of taking on multiple outside task AND still do a good job caring for their family and homeschooling. Well, at least it SEEMS that way, anyway! I'm not sure what their stress level is...Me? I used to do so much outside the home that I was no good inside the home. I had to give everything up just to begin focusing on my primary ministry...my family. I don't feel guilty anymore when I say NO to this request or that. I was recently asked do volunteer in the nursery at church...typically I would have said SURE! But, I'm just not up for that right now. I'm preparing to sing on the worship team in October (when baby can go longer btwn feedings) and I'm simply burned out taking care of infants already. So, I said no. I do think there is a balance. Yes, our primary ministry is our home and family. But, we are called to serve others. There are numerous ways to do that. I love the idea of doing it as a family...perfect idea. I think our children need to learn the value of serving others anyway.

[Sophia]

Absolutely I feel our families are our calling and serving them takes priority over busywork in the church.

In fact, Paul urges mothers to stay home and love their husbands and children.

 

I recently told my pastor and his wife that my time would be better spent at home when they urged me to attend a conference at church.

The pastor disagreed and I shrugged; pleasing people is not my concern, glorifying God by taking care of what he has given me is.

 

There was a season in my life when I was able to serve others more, and I imagine that time will come again-when my children no longer need me.

 

I keep in mind that by training and discipling my children now, they will grow up to be an asset to the church themselves, Christ gains six more workers for His kingdom when I am able to concentrate my efforts fully on being at home.

 

Keep in mind that I do not lead my dc to think they are the center of the universe, we look for opportunities to serve others as a family.

Dh is especially diligent about this and often takes my oldest dc with him to do various ministry related projects.

My dd's and I take meals to new moms and offer to watch little ones so new moms can sleep while their dh's are at work.

There are plenty of opportunities to serve that do not make you compromise your first calling to your family.

Never feel guilty about being selective in what takes you away from home.

 

I am also of the opinion that many churches are way too "programmed" and the reason there are not enough workers is because God didn't bless that in the first place.

But that may be another thread...

[Rebecca in GA]

Not too busy, but the key is balance. In only two areas do we volunteer weekly: DH is the drummer for Wednesday worship and I am a member of the ministry team that cooks, serves and cleans up after Wednesday meals. The children come to church early with me and often fill immediate needs like babysitting the guitarist's small son, or helping the preschool minister prepare for service by tidying up or getting crafts ready, so it can be a time of service for them as well.

 

We tend more toward seasonal or emergency volunteering as a family: Toys for Tots, disaster relief, school supply drives, etc. We can't commit to many weekly or even monthly service projects, but our church has many opportunities throughout the year for families to serve together that fit well into our schedule, and DH's company encourages its employees and their families to volunteer as well.

 

I'd love to do more but am happy to do small things as the opportunity arises, like hold open doors or push a grocery cart back to the store for an elderly person. We've given rides to random folks (not always a good idea), given up seats in the orthodontist's waiting room, let people cut in line, etc. because we want to model love and service to our children. Sometimes just smiling or saying a kind word can make a big difference, so we encourage that as well. And it doesn't cut into our school day at all! :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

I believe we have responsibilities in the community and congregation as well as within our family. I think BALANCE is the word to keep in mind, but having a family doesn't get you out of certain responsibilities and yet you can't allow those responsibilities to have you neglect your family in any way either.

 

Balance

[Dayle in Guatemala]

My family and discipling my children are my primary calling as of right now. Homeschooling them, taking care of the house, those are things I do so that my family can grow strong and healthy.

 

Working in good causes and in Christian service are important, but, those things do not ever take the place of me being mom and wife. I do go to our coffee shop ministry one afternoon a week and bake for them, and, at times, I work with the teams that come down. But, if I can, I take my dc with me and they serve too. I want it to be a family effort. I want them to know that God called us and them.

 

This is a season. Too soon it will be done and I want to be faithful to it while I can.

[KIN]

I think BALANCE is the word to keep in mind, but having a family doesn't get you out of certain responsibilities and yet you can't allow those responsibilities to have you neglect your family in any way either.

 

Yes, this is where I'm coming out. Sometimes I think we give ourselves the excuse that we can't get away from our families, yet you cannot neglect your family either.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I believe that there is a season for everything under the sun. And, I think of my life like the chapters of a book. Yes, I do believe that it is important to serve others, but I believe that, for this chapter in my life, my primary field of service is my family. While my children are little, or if someone is sick, or needs extra attention for some reason, then I need to back off in service to those outside, and concentrate my resources at home. As my children get older, and I have more of myself to give, then I believe that God will again expand my vision to see His place for me outside my home. Right now, though, I truly believe that He is working in my family, and I that my primary call to service is here.

 

I tried to walk the tightrope for several years. My older children had gotten old enough to be rather independent. I had once again gotten entrenched in church life: the choir, the bell choir, doing solos for special music, committees, 2socials, pot lucks, etc. Then, after several years, we found ourselves with another little child. :) I thought I could still carry on with all of my church/music commitments, but I was wrong. I was way overdrawn on my physical, emotional, and spiritual resources. I felt guilty, no matter where I was or what I was doing. If I was at church, I felt guilty that I wasn't taking care of my family. If I stayed home with my family, I was letting someone down at church. I also felt like I couldn't ever do anything to enrich myself, like read, or take a clay class, or correspond with my friends. My house was a mess, my homeschooling was minimal. I felt like I was being torn in pieces. Something had to give! :)

 

I realized that I can do it all, I just can't do it all at once.

 

I have decided, at this chapter in my life, that I need to concentrate on the things that God has given me to do, things that no one else can do. There will always be a need for music in church, and there will always be the poor, and there will always be committees, and pot lucks, and socials. There will always be church services and programs. There will always be clay classes and books. But, my little girl will only be little once. Likewise, I have chosen to take on the responsibility of educating my older children. They're in 5th and 7th grades this year. I've never taught 7th grade before, and I've never taught 5th grade to my ds (he's much different than his older sister). I have a lot to learn. It takes a lot of hours, and there are only so many hours in a day.

 

I keep my eyes and heart open for ways to serve, but not at the detriment of taking care of my God-given charges: my husband and my children.

[Pajama Mama]

I had tried to volunteer my time but it's just not gonna happen right now. I wanted to join the church choir or deliver meals to shut ins. But, I am hsing two kids-one with Asperger's, my middle child has alot of medical problems including epilepsy, we have only one car at the moment so when dh is at work I'm stranded, etc. I am unreliable as a volunteer because of these reasons. I figured it would be a disservice for me to volunteer and then not be able to do it. I may be able to volunteer when things are more settled. Whenever that is.

 

ETA: I forgot that I am volunteering at my son's school once a month. I need to coordinate this with my dh so I can do it. I'm hoping that my 2 other kids will be allowed to help as well. This school has special kids in wheelchairs, blind children, kids with Cerebral Palsy, etc I think it would be a great learning experience for my other children to be involved with their brother's school.

[OnTheBrink]

I found I had to cut down on church duties because our schooling was being compromised.

 

I think mothers are called first to care for their children. There are more verses in Scripture about loving the children and husband, being at home and being busy, etc, than there are about serving in church. I definitely think some church duties should be done, but when women have children, I think they should be the priority.

[Trivium Academy]

I can't run any programs or be solely responsible for anything at church due to time/family responsibilities but I can:

bring refreshments for Sunday School,

attend a monthly women's meeting,

take my kids to youth,

listen to other church members' prayer concerns and pray for them,

make an occasional dinner for a family going through a crisis,

I can take part in Sunday school while my children are in their own classes.

 

Right now I'm considering being a 4th-5th grade Sunday School teacher for the Fall Quarter because the need is there and I'm not thrilled with the adult Sunday School groups right now. The only thing holding me back is not knowing how much work it will be outside of the actual class time. That is what I cannot do because it negates what I'm doing at home for my family.

 

It is: God, Family, Church, Job, Recreation

[sdWTMer]

No, we do cub scouts and do various things at church too.

[Tutor]

We do most of our service as a family, too. It is rare when at least one of our children is not with us helping when we serve.

 

Also, we learned to think of service outside of organized opportunities. This opens up a whole world of service and sacrifice. I think a valuable skill is teaching our children to identify suffering and needs outside of something with a label on it. Don't get me wrong, volunteering at the food bank or church is a valuable thing and something we encourage, but we want our children to live with their eyes open and their hands ready... to hold the door for someone who is trying to balance packages and a stroller, to help an older person load their groceries into their car, to go out of their way and use their spending money to buy a homeless person lunch, or to ask me to stop the car so they can move someone's trash can that has fallen into the road.

 

I guess my point is to find opportunities to serve in your day-to-day activities in addition to making time for those organized things. And don't be afraid to let organizations know that you can only help if your children can come too. Some organizations have posted "no children" allowed rules, but I am amazed at how quickly they evaporate when they realize that they will gain volunteers if children are allowed to help too (assuming your children will actually help and not be a hindrance). Not all organizations change their policies (some can't because of legal or insurance issues), but, in my experience, more opportunities that welcome my kids open up when another is blocked.

[pianoplayer]

We volunteer as a family at a local retirement home in our area every week. It has been a wonderful opportunity to minister and has been particularly good for our children in a myriad of ways. In many ways, we feel like we have been blessed just as much as we have been able to bless these dear folks! We have gotten to know people who have lived the history we study--men who were on the beach at D-Day, at Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, a chief clerk at the Supreme Court, a chief engineer at the Pentagon, and even the lady who wrote our children's state history text!

[6packofun]

I think I'm one of those moms who struggles to keep it together at home and so many times I feel inadequate in helping anyone else! lol That said, I regret that when we were having our little ones that we didn't do *more* volunteering and serving at church. It was too easy for me to look at my messy home, my tired face in the mirror and claim, "It's my season to focus on home!!" I wasn't able to make the connection that my focus could be our family and still reach out more.

 

Well, our family has been blessed a TON since we started serving more at our current church *after* having all six of our kids. It's funny how I feel much busier and needed more on the homefront, especially with homeschooling, and yet the service (youth ministry with dh, food pantry, etc.) is a way for me to actually be fed, which is important because dh and I forego most Sunday services to teach the jr. high class. So it's a strange but nice paradox. :)

 

And yet...sometimes I'm so very exhausted. LOL But I am much better at listening to God's leading in my life as I get older so I know that He will temper my go, go, go with down times at home where I am needed most. I trust that He will reign me in if I am not being diligent with our schoolwork or discipline or growing our children up in His ways--or if I'm avoiding ministering to someone else He's put in my path just because it's easier not to.

[Erica in PA]

No, I agree with you. Being a mother is not the only thing I am called by God to do, though it's certainly a very big part of what I'm called to. I have spiritual gifts to share not only with my own immediate family, but with our church family. I lead our church's children's choir and help with the youth group as my primary responsibilities at church, but I also chip in with other things when needed. Frankly I think it can be a bit of a cop-out when moms say that they can't help at church at all, because they are too busy with their family. Wouldn't that sort of be like a father saying he can't help at church because his primary responsibility is to provide for his family, and so he's too busy with work to serve his church? It's true that our families come first, but that doesn't mean that we can do nothing but serve our families alone.

 

Erica

[Mekanamom]

I think it depends on the person, too. Some women are simply more capable of taking on multiple outside task AND still do a good job caring for their family and homeschooling. Well, at least it SEEMS that way, anyway!

 

Yes it sure does seem that way. I used to wonder what was wrong with me- I would get so exhausted doing all the stuff everyone else seemed perfectly capable of doing. If I push myself too hard, my body shuts down on me and I pay for doing too much with terrible migraines that just knock me out and render me useless for a whole day or two at a time.

 

Then I realized that between caring for my own kids, homeschooling, keeping up the house, feeding the family, taking care of the horses, the yard, the garden, etc... I really am very busy right here at home.

 

I've decided I just can't do as much "outside the family" work as other people. So I don't.

 

We volunteer when we can with 4-H. But I don't do anything long term like lead a project or head up a big event. We will help and participate in things other people are organizing, lol.

 

Now that my kids are a bit older, and you'd think I'd have a little bit more time (and help from the kids), I have volunteered to babysit my new nephew while his parents are at work. This will probably be 4 days a week for up to 5 years, unless his Daddy gets a major raise so Mom can stay home with him. KWIM? Things can change, but I am totally happy to do it for as long as they need the help.

 

Again, it's helping within the family here at home, but it is needed work.

 

LOL- fwiw, we do not attend any church and I think that if we were ever part of a weekly group, just getting to a Sunday meeting would take as much time as I could possibly give! I don't think everyone has to have the same priorities to be helpful, productive people. Kudos to all of us who do the best we can within the priorities we have, though- whatever they may be!

[Peek a Boo]

We do most of our service as a family, too. It is rare when at least one of our children is not with us helping when we serve.

 

Also, we learned to think of service outside of organized opportunities. This opens up a whole world of service and sacrifice. I think a valuable skill is teaching our children to identify suffering and needs outside of something with a label on it. Don't get me wrong, volunteering at the food bank or church is a valuable thing and something we encourage, but we want our children to live with their eyes open and their hands ready... to hold the door for someone who is trying to balance packages and a stroller, to help an older person load their groceries into their car, to go out of their way and use their spending money to buy a homeless person lunch, or to ask me to stop the car so they can move someone's trash can that has fallen into the road.

 

I guess my point is to find opportunities to serve in your day-to-day activities in addition to making time for those organized things. And don't be afraid to let organizations know that you can only help if your children can come too. Some organizations have posted "no children" allowed rules, but I am amazed at how quickly they evaporate when they realize that they will gain volunteers if children are allowed to help too (assuming your children will actually help and not be a hindrance). Not all organizations change their policies (some can't because of legal or insurance issues), but, in my experience, more opportunities that welcome my kids open up when another is blocked.

 

 

This is where we are too.

 

There are lots of ways we can do things as a family, and that is where I'm limiting our service for now. I'll jump in w/ both feet again later on ;)

[Parrothead]

No, I'm not to busy but there really isn't any place to volunteer around here. I don't think I'd do much volunteering if there were. The reason I'm at home is to take care of the family.

[Another Lynn]

Absolutely I feel our families are our calling and serving them takes priority over busywork in the church.

In fact, Paul urges mothers to stay home and love their husbands and children.

 

.........

 

Never feel guilty about being selective in what takes you away from home.

 

I am also of the opinion that many churches are way too "programmed" and the reason there are not enough workers is because God didn't bless that in the first place.

But that may be another thread...

 

:iagree:

[Jenny in Florida]

It's not just the homeschooling, although that is certainly a big part of it. I mean, we take homeschooling seriously around here and maintain a pretty rigourous schedule and curriculum, which I think a lot of folks with whom I interact in real life don't necessarily understand.

 

But on top of that, I have kids who are into everything. My son has at least one outside-the-house activity pretty much every weekday. And several of his interests require pretty big time commitments. Two of the things he does--dance and choir--are the only things many of the other kids who do them are allowed to do, because each one is so consuming. He does both, plus music lessons, model rocketry and occasional theatre.

 

My daughter is not home during the academic year anymore, but I made 10 trips to and from Virginia (800 miles each way) last school year to get her to and from campus. At one point, I figured out that between those road trips and taking my son out of town for a weekend of Nutcracker performances and staying with him at the arts center for the opera workshop and then chaperoning him to New York for a week of rehearsals and performances there, I was away from home for almost six weeks during the 2007-08 year.

 

Add to that even the most basic housekeeping and cooking and shopping (and, I'll admit, especially the housekeeping is often pretty minimal), and I just don't have a lot left over to volunteer or be very involved in the community.

 

I do manage a few things. I provided meals and helped with crafts and activities for a week-long day camp at our church this summer. I've volunteered to shop for supplies for our religious education program while we do our back-to-school shopping. For several years, I made costumes for or helped run our church's Christmas Eve children's pageant, and I also coordinated some of the activities at our annual Halloween party.

 

In addition, I often end up helping with the shows and programs my kids do. For three summers, I helped in the kitchen at the Camp Fire Twilight Camp program every week, cooking, serving and cleaning up after meals. I've put up posters and sold program ads and staffed boutique tables and torn tickets and ushered and been "backstage mommy" (supervising kids in dressing rooms and helping with costume changes and so on) for more ballet and theatre productions than I care to remember. I donated my distinctly non-professional photographic skills to make pictures available for one of the shows my son did and have designed and printed programs for various other things.

 

And I'm usually good for snacks for pretty much any event, providing lunch for youth group meetings and baked goods for coffee hour and similar stuff.

 

But I haven't volunteered for any "regular duty" at church or elsewhere for several years. Just this weekend, my guilt caught up with me, and I decided to volunteer to assist in my son's Sunday school classroom for the coming year.

 

I'll let you know how it goes . . .

[Jean in Newcastle]

My husband is a pastor on the week-ends. He's an RN during the week. He was asked this last year to teach Wednesday nights at an Assisted Living Apartment Building (this place is huge - one 7 story building and a 5 story building next to it on the campus). We decided that we would only take on this ministry if it could truly be a family ministry. My husband preaches and prays and does some counseling. I sing - solos, and with the worship team and sometimes I substitute as the worship leader. My ds11 records the meetings and puts them on CD's for shut-ins etc. He also runs the powerpoint during the service if needed. My dd6 ministers just be being a loving child whom the elderly adore. But I can only do this because Wed. we've arranged our schedule so that it is "school lite".

 

I think I can also do it because (other than the solos on occasion) there is no preparation work for me to do. Also - for me, singing is a stress reliever. Also this ministry is truly the most grace oriented loving ministry I've ever been involved in. I have chronic health problems and the elderly we serve "get" that. In fact, I think I have a connection with them because of shared pain!

 

If I were to teach a Sunday School class for example, I would be a basket case. I couldn't handle the prep time and spending more time teaching kids? Auuuugh!

[Rosie_0801]

I've been doing volunteer work in some capacity, with only a few breaks, since I was 16. My parents always volunteered, so it's something I've been brought up with. I may not be in guides anymore, but the promise I made still stands :) I quit being a guide leader when I was full time at uni. I just didn't have the energy for anything else. Now I'm involved with the SCA, so that's where my volunteering time goes. I'm pregnant and don't have the energy to help out in feast kitchens, but I am doing some of the behind the scenes stuff. I'm the seneschal, or president, of our local group. Not really sure what I'm doing, but I'm learning and I am keeping the group going, at the least. I'm also helping out by digging through old newsletters to update the awards database. I put my hand up for that because it's something helpful I can do sitting down, and I can do it in dribs and drabs during dd's naptime.

There are times in life when we don't have anything to give, at other times we do, but have to choose what tasks we take on. For me at the moment, it's sitting down jobs. :) The time could be spent on the housework (couldn't it always?) but volunteering in some capacity is a mental health issue for me. (Just so you all know, I've done two loads of washing today ;) )

Rosie

[Mrs Mungo]

I have volunteered every where we have lived. There are plenty of ways to help lend a hand without driving or investing too much time. Right now I'm serving on the welcome committee for our unit which just involves sending out letters and notes once a month as well as attending a meeting once a month. I didn't volunteer for a bigger job right now because I *know* I don't have time for something big at the moment.

 

I personally think if you use services such as girl scouts, childcare in church, children's ministries in church, breastfeeding support groups, play groups, whatever then you need to be ready to help out in some fashion.

[Kimberly in IN]

I just love reading this thread! I feel so guilty that I cannot volunteer in the way that I would like to both at church and with other organizations. Right now dh travels to and from his job - he leaves Sun. night and returns home on Fri night or Sat morn. (and we are blessed that this new company doesn't mind flying him back and forth every week, plus hotel and car rental) Until the economy in our area changes and our house can sell, that is our reality. But, it leaves almost no time for me to engage in activities that are just for me, as in volunteering in time consuming, leadership roles. (we do some lite family activities and I do lite roles in the kids' activities) But, I cannot do what the church has asked of me and I feel the guilt. Dh thinks I am crazy for the guilt as I have enough on my plate, but ... Thanks for adding some perspective.

[Holly IN]

Yes I am too busy because I also work a part time job. My dh is more involved than I am.

 

I did volunteer last year with the special needs ministry. It was a huge job for me. I had almost had a breakdown. One of the children's ministers told me something has to give and mainly the special needs ministry. She told me that homeschooling is a full time job and plus I am working a part time job every night. I was also volunteering with the homeschool group fulfilling my committment to the group to coordinate several things. So she advised me to drop something before I have a breakdown. So I dropped the special needs ministry. The two women that are running it had no jobs so she told me that they can handle it.

 

I have to say that I felt so much better after I did that. My life went so much better. I was under less stress after I did that.

 

All I can say is this is a season in my life right now. When my children are out of the house, I will be more involved in church ministries. My ministry is in my home, homeschooling the kids and raising them up for the future. That is my ministry.

 

Blessings-

Holly

 

 

 

Holly

[3lilreds in NC]

Before I got pregnant with the Snort, I had decided that the time had come for me to volunteer at church. A lot. I became the "midweek administrator" for the girls' Sunday school class, which involved pretty much all of one morning a week, making copies and getting things ready. I also volunteered in the nursery, until I was needed more in the 2 year old class.

 

Then I got pregnant and felt horrible. I had to give up the midweek admin stuff, but I stuck with SS for the rest of the year. Now, I am not involved in the childrens' ministry - and won't be until the baby is a little older. I do, however, take meals to people when needed (I am on the Care Committee or whatever they call it now) and I do help other people when I can. I am just not in a weekly or regular service position.

 

I have found that if I have a lot of commitments out of the house, school suffers. I don't do a great job taking care of the house as it is so more time away doesn't help that either, LOL. I have to keep myself from volunteering for everything, because I would really like to, and remember that my first priority is at home.

[CalicoKat]

My family and discipling my children are my primary calling as of right now. Homeschooling them, taking care of the house, those are things I do so that my family can grow strong and healthy.

 

Working in good causes and in Christian service are important, but, those things do not ever take the place of me being mom and wife.

 

This is a season. Too soon it will be done and I want to be faithful to it while I can.

 

:iagree:

[WTMindy]

I believe we have responsibilities in the community and congregation as well as within our family. I think BALANCE is the word to keep in mind, but having a family doesn't get you out of certain responsibilities and yet you can't allow those responsibilities to have you neglect your family in any way either.

 

Balance

 

Well put!! I agree.

[Saille]

I struggle with this myself, but I think I've made a realization. :) We so often are told (in the church and outside) that we are to take care of ourselves. I agree with this statement, to a point. I think we are to look outside of ourselves and our families and help others. Sometimes I think we even need to ask our families to make a sacrifice in order to serve others. Even if it is only giving up mommy an evening so she can sing on the worship team (or whatever).

 

I'm feeling like we are too often, and I'm including myself here, we think we need to care for our families first and never get around to serving others. What do you say? Our families are our calling? Or, we should look outside of our family even to the point of them sacrificing a bit to serve others?

 

I agree with this.

 

I came to the conclusion a while ago that part of the reason I homeschool is so that I can engage the kids in theie larger community at a younger age. That made me think about how I believe an active citizen lives. So, we do conservation and other volunteering projects, we make charitable donations (and, this year, political contributions), the kids saw me phone canvassing during the primaries, I run their scouting group and I volunteer at church. We're also starting a spend/save/share allowance program this year.

 

Obviously, we aren't doing all these things at once, but we do them. Sometimes the kids are involved, sometimes it's just something that occurs where they can see it.

 

I think it's important to be careful of pitfalls, though. People start depending on you to volunteer (and then they don't) for instance. My house is often messy. We're vegetarian/organic/unprocessed eaters around here, but we ran through Taco Bell after quite a few scout meetings, b/c I was frankly too tired to cook. And if you're going to co-run something, you have to be better at managing grownups than I am. :tongue_smilie:

[Makita]

As previous posters have stated, balance is key, but also you need to find the volunteer avenue that works for you and your family. Follow your heart... your interests.

 

I lead a Roots & Shoots group for my kiddos and we do a number of volunteer projects throughout the year. The projects/activities are integrated into our homeschooling so it feels natural. We do community wide weed pulls, beach/trail clean-ups, make donations to the humane society, create care boxes for assisted living homes, etc. As the kids get older, I hope to volunteer at a homeless shelter and serve meals.

 

We also volunteer together at a local natural history museum. We lead nature walks and teach visitors about the local flora/fauna. My eldest and I also do living history together and portray an 1880s homesteading family. My youngest is not currently participating - he's a spirited/active boy and he doesn't seem as interested in taking part. Perhaps when he is a little older. It is a wonderful experience because we get to share our love of history and our knowledge of the past with visitors. My daughter gets to learn important life skills - public speaking, improv (she needs to think on her feet to answer some questions and stay in character), handcrafts, animal care, etc.

 

:)