Kids sharing a bedroom... Or not?

[carriede]

Hiya! Just found out I'm pregnant with #3 (due Jan 2014!). I'm thinking about how to arrange 3 young children in 2 bedrooms. Currently, each kid has their own room.

 

First, our house is on the small side being 1150 sq ft. We have an eat-in kitchen and a family room, but no dining or living room. The two kids bedrooms are each about 10ftx10ft.

 

When the baby is born the other two will be DS4.5 and DD2. So, possible room configurations are:

A ) DS and DD share, baby gets own

B ) DD and baby share, DS gets own

C ) all share one sleeping room, other is a play room

 

Thoughts?

 

I have a feeling this will be one of those "no right answers" scenarios. ;) Right now, I am not leaning toward one more than another.

[Melissa in Australia]

I would put the baby in with whatever sibling is the same sex.

[Peplophoros]

Definitely, definitely A! If I could have a separate *wing* for the baby, I would! Other kids waking up baby is one of my biggest pet peeves. We have solemn silence in the house (not really, but I wish) when the baby's napping or sleeping. Getting my other kids to sleep in the same room was tough for me, but that's because I have a low tolerance for nighttime hijinks. Currently, my daughter has her own room, my 7 and 3 year old boys share, and the baby has his own room. If I had to do it over, I'd have gotten bunk beds for the boys, just so the endless nighttime chatter and visiting each other might end sooner (perhaps this is wishful thinking).

[Peplophoros]

Oh, and when the baby's sleeping through the night (or even later, like when he/she is sleeping in a real bed), then put him/her in the same room with the sibling of the same sex.

[Ali in OR]

My third was in our bedroom for about 7 months. The day she moved into her sister's room they were both so happy! They've always been best buds and playmates. I agree with keeping the same genders together; for your sake I hope it's a girl because I think it will be easier for a 2 year old to adjust to sharing than a 4 year old.

[VeganCupcake]

We are facing this sometime in the near-ish future. I think we will put the two olders (now 2 and 4.5) in one room and baby in the other, because I don't want baby waking up a sibling with frequent night wakings. Baby will stay in our room for a while, though.

[GSOchristie]

We have the boys in one room, but it has been quite a battle. I would put the oldest and youngest together at my house if he wouldn't wake her up too early. They are better sleepers than the middle.

[VeritasMama]

All of my kids share with the sibling closest to their age, they are the same sex as well.

 

I always have the baby in our room until they are sleeping through the night. Then I would put baby in the room with the sibling who is the same sex.

[Starr]

We were in a 2 bedroom apt when ds was born and dd was just 2. Their bedroom was big enough for 2 cribs and that was all. Ds napped in our room so they both could sleep. It took a while for them to be on the same daytime schedule. It worked out fine other than watching out for baby since the generous 2 year old would throw toys in the crib for him to play with. It's funny now, not so much then.

[Dory]

I would have baby in it's own room so the baby isn't waking up the other kids and they aren't waking the baby up.

[Mommyof4ks]

We had a sleeping room and a playing room when my kiddos were little, and that worked out so week, because the bigger kids could play even when baby was sleeping. My kids sleep better when they are not alone though, but I know some kids keep one another awake.

[AdventureMoms]

I would put the baby in my room for a while, but we cosleep at first. Then I would put the two older siblings together, and give baby their own room for a while. Once the baby is old enough to be out of the crib, I think about rearranging, but that would depend on sleep personalities, et cetera. My kids don't sleep through the night for approximately forever, and I would not want a baby or young toddler waking up an older sibling. I have had enough of that particular drama with twin toddlers.

[JustEm]

I would start with the baby having his own room or being in your room. Eventually, I would have all 3 kids share a room and have the extra room for something else. This is what we are doing currently with DS 4.5, DD 3, and DS 4 months. I have no problem with them all sharing a room since right now all they do is sleep in it and none of them needs their own private space we will reconsider

[Rosie_0801]

I would wait and see how it turns out. I prefer to keep babies in a cot in my room, but #2 slept far better in a room by himself so he got shifted out and #1 came back in.

[stripe]

I would not put a newborn in with another kid.

[Unicorn.]

Baby in w/ you for the first year, then w/ the sibling w/ similar sleep habits. Opposite genders can share for a few years. If they are all great sleepers, then I would make one a sleep room, and the other a play room. But only if they aren't going to bother each other and keep each other awake.

[happypamama]

Baby in w/ you for the first year, then w/ the sibling w/ similar sleep habits. Opposite genders can share for a few years. If they are all great sleepers, then I would make one a sleep room, and the other a play room. But only if they aren't going to bother each other and keep each other awake.

 

 

Yes to this. We'll have our baby in our room for a while, and possibly the toddler too. Then, at some point, we'll either have four boys in two connecting rooms (currently, the older two boys share a room and are anxious for DS3 to come join them), or we'll have three boys in one large room (the only room that can hold a twin and a bunk bed) and two girls in another room (not really sure how that's going to work, since they'll be very far apart, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it).

[Ravin]

I would probably keep the baby in the master bedroom for the first year, then transition to sharing with the same-sex sibling. That requires the least remixing over time. Otherwise, I'd put the crib in what is otherwise the playroom and have the other two children sleep in the other bedroom, assuming you put them to bed at about the same time. Babies who do not sleep through the night can disrupt preschool sleep schedules.

[kiwik]

Keep the baby in your room for the first year or so. By then you will know a bit about his sleeping habits and personality and can decide the best configuration. I have two kids in a smallish two bedroom place. I have the small room and they share the big one. Unfortunately one is a natural early to bed and rise and the other is the opposite. Try to avoid this sort of mismatch if you can. Or you can use a portable sleeping arrangement and move the baby from your room to the family room when you go to bed - my cousin used to put the baby in the bathroom at night.

[twoxcell]

Baby in your room and then move in with same gender sibling when old enough. ;)

[*Lulu*]

We did C, after Bug was sleeping through the night. (Okay, sleeping until 2am-ish on is own. He was 3before he got through the night by himself.)

 

Then for a few years we did B. When Sister was ready for her own space we shifted again into A.

 

 

[Tita Gidge]

I've shared a room my entire life. So have my kids.

 

There were too many of us to have had a bedroom-turned-play room, but that's how I'd have done it - especially while the kids were younger (elementary age).

 

I second the idea of keeping baby with you until sleeping through the night (if not through the first year), then transitioning him or her into a shared bedroom with the siblings. A play area will be nice for non-nappers to use during naptime. And for my own sake, I prefer a messy playroom that I can shut the door to ... to a messy bedroom that I'm having to step over things that the children leave out, especially during those middle-of-the-night pottying and other needs that leave me puttering in half-asleep. Nothing like stepping on a noise-making stuffed animal or a Thomas train at 0-dark-hundred.

 

But we've always designated bedrooms as sleeping-only rooms, so I'm partial to that. Play areas have always been separate, though never a dedicated room. Congratulations on your new baby!

[swellmomma]

I agree with having baby master bedroom for at least the first year (or when sleeping through the night/weaned). And then same genders together. I have a smaller house than you and have 4 kids in it. We have a boys room and a girls room though youngest prefers to still club in with me 1/2 the time.

[xixstar]

I would be all about the one shared room and playroom because we have limited common areas and I wish the toys could be somewhere else (and sometimes the children too). And I don't have toys in the bedrooms, so that gives more space to have all sleeping done in one room and playing in the other. Babe would be in our bed/room for the first 1.5-2 years anyways, so there is also plenty of time to make decisions later. :)

[Heather in Neverland]

We co-sleep until the child feels ready to sleep on their own. Right now my dd sleeps with us and boys share a room and our 3rd bedroom is a game room. By the time she sleeps on her own my oldest will be in college and the youngest two can have their own rooms.

[Butter]

Melody was 6 and Wil was 4 when Adric was born. We moved to a three bedroom townhouse right after Adric arrived. Up until then we were in a two bedroom apartment so Melody and Wil shared (obviously). We co-slept so Melody and Wil got their own rooms when we moved and Adric slept with us. Most of the time Melody and Wil would choose to sleep in the same room on their own. We were still in the townhouse when Rory was born. Adric sometimes still slept was us and sometimes slept with one of his siblings (whichever he felt like sleeping with at the time). The kids were 8, 6, and nearly 2 when Rory was born. When Rory was 1 we moved in with my parents. Melody got her own room and the 3 boys have been sharing ever since. They are 11, 6, and 4 now. We are getting ready to move out of state and now Melody and Wil will have their own rooms and Adric and Rory will share. Honestly, Adric and Rory are so close and love to sleep cuddled up that it would be pretty mean to make them not share at this point. As for Wil, bunkbeds have helped (twin over full with him in the twin and the little boys in the full), but he is at an age where he'd like his own space away from his little brothers. That didn't happen until he was about 10. He's looking forward to having his own room finally.

 

So my answer for you is either A or C or co-sleep with the baby and leave the other two where they are until you move the baby in with a sibling.

[Jayne J]

When our baby #3 came along, we moved ds5 and dd3 into the same room until night nursings were finished (about one year). All of DD's toys, clothes, etc. stayed in her old room, and she just slept in Ds's room at night. Luckily he had a bunk bed already and she slept there--I often slept in dd's bed, which stayed in her old room. After baby was reliably sleeping through the night we moved the girls back in together.

[poppy]

Definitely A.

I wouldn't give a thought to the appropriateness of keeping the same sex together until the oldest is 6-7.

[J-rap]

I'd do A. Keep the older two kids together because they're probably on the same schedule. Let the newborn have his/her own room. (Or if newborn stays with you awhile, I'd still move her to her own room once that time comes. Or him. :)

 

I wouldn't be concerned about the gender issue at all, at the ages of your children. I'd be more concerned about the baby waking them up, going in their room to nurse at all hours, or the older children wanting to be in their room to play and waking up the baby, etc.

 

My older two (ds and dd) shared a room until they were middle school age. They didn't dress in the same room, but they were great pals and it worked out well.

[carriede]

Thanks so much, everyone! Lots to think about. Still no clear favorite though, and DH has no clue either. ;)

 

My concern with A is that I often suggest to DS to do "big kid" stuff in his room so DD can't say, knock over his blocks or rip up his coloring book.

 

I hadn't thought about keeping the baby with us long term - both of the other kids were in their rooms by 3 mo. I don't sleep we'll with the baby in the room... Every noise wakes me up! But maybe this time will be different.

[fairfarmhand]

I put the kids together who slept more in sync. My middle dd could sleep through a tornado, so she shared with baby, while 2 sisters who woke up easily got the other bedroom.

 

Sex has nothing to do with it in my family. My 11 yo dd still shares with her 5 yo brother and my 15 and 6 yo dds share. Not ideal, but this is what we have. Eventually, when the oldest goes to college, my dd will move into the girls bedroom.

[texasmama]

We put babies #2 and #3 into a room together after the younger one outgrew the bassinet. We had two cribs in the room. Then, when #4 was born, she was a terrible sleeper and slept with us for 2 1/2 years. Then, we put her in a room with her brothers. She actually shared the bottom bunk (double bed) with her next oldest brother, separated by a long pillow. She got her own room at the age of 4 1/2. Nonconventional arrangements can work. I'm just all about everyone sleeping and whatever accomplishes that. Small kids don't mind sharing rooms, even mixed gender small kids.

[KungFuPanda]

Place them where everybody gets the most sleep. If you have a light sleeper, a kid who can sleep through a hurricane, and a fussy baby, you put the light sleeper in his own room. If the big kids sleep well together, I'd start by having them in the same room so that they wouldn't be banned from their stuff while the baby napped during the day. Its going to come down to personalities and you don't know what that baby will be like yet. If it were me, I'd have the newborn in my room and make the decision when baby can sleep for more than 4 hours at a time.

[fairfarmhand]

.

 

I hadn't thought about keeping the baby with us long term - both of the other kids were in their rooms by 3 mo. I don't sleep we'll with the baby in the room... Every noise wakes me up! But maybe this time will be different.

 

and that;s perfectly fine. My dh and I are the same way.

It took us months to figure out the best arrangement and we tried it several different ways. We;d end up with people sleeping all over the place. Wasn't unusual for me to find a kid on a sleeping bag or on the couch come morning. Or another kid would slip in with dad while I was tending baby and I'd take their bed. Seems like 3 kids is the tipping point for mom going, "Whatever. Just sleep somewhere and don't wake me or the baby!"

 

I can't sleep with a baby in the room, much less in my bed.

[Julie Smith]

I would try different things till I found the way that allows everyone in the house to sleep well. :laugh: (My Youngest was Zero to scream in a split second. He slept in our bed and sometimes I would be watching when he woke up. He would not even bother to open his eyes before screaming. If he was awake and in bed and no booby in his mouth then the whole world should know his pain.)

[Janie Grace]

Thanks so much, everyone! Lots to think about. Still no clear favorite though, and DH has no clue either. ;)

 

My concern with A is that I often suggest to DS to do "big kid" stuff in his room so DD can't say, knock over his blocks or rip up his coloring book.

 

I hadn't thought about keeping the baby with us long term - both of the other kids were in their rooms by 3 mo. I don't sleep we'll with the baby in the room... Every noise wakes me up! But maybe this time will be different.

 

You could keep a special bin of big kid stuff in the corner of your bedroom or in your closet or under your bed, and DS could have his "alone play time" in there. I do vote for baby gets own room, bigger kids share. Way less stressful in terms of baby's sleep.