MommaOfalotta Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I was thinking of asking for a "day off" for Mothers Day. Meaning: sleeping in, maybe dh taking the kids somewhere for the day so that I can enjoy a nice, quiet day around the house, all alone. (I'm an introvert :) ) Maybe take a nap, read a book, take a BATH without someone tapping on the door "Mooooommmm I have to potty!" Dh putting the kids to bed, and then maybe he and I watch a movie together? But it hit me.. Im basically asking for a day without my kids :( On MOTHERS day... I feel bad. Is this horrible? I know I always think I want alone time and then an hour or two after I leave the house I miss these babies so much. So I doubt I would last the whole day, anyway. I just want quiet, and I want to do whatever it is I want to do :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I don't think it's mean at all. Plenty of families pamper mom on Mother's Day in that way. Why not enjoy sleeping in and having half the day to yourself, and then spending a relaxing evening with your family? That way you can have both. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 If you are having second thoughts about it, how about asking for a half day? DH takes kiddies somewhere in the morning so that you can have some peace and quiet and a long bath. Then in the afternoon, you doing something together as a family. I dunno - I always ask for the same present every Mother's Day - that they clean out my car and vacumn it. It makes everyone else happy to give me something easy that I really enjoy. Then, usually we have a nice dinner or go out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 No, it’s not horrible. :) For my birthday the last two years I’ve gone on a “retreat†for about 24 hours. I go downtown, go to a few museums, have lunch on my own, check into a hotel and spend the rest of the day reading, resting, and doing whatever I want. At first I felt a bit guilty but I come back so rejuvenated it’s totally worth it. I’m also a big introvert and for me time away is so needed an valuable. I realized before my 40th birthday that this was my ideal present but that I’d been waiting for dh to suggest it (hoping he knew me well enough to think of it.) Then I realized that dh is an extrovert and would never think of it. When I told him what I wanted to do he was more than happy to give me the time but he admitted he would never have thought of it. For his birthday he chose to have about 25 people over and cook them dinner. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 If you think it would hurt your kids' feelings, tell your DH that's what you want to do NEXT weekend. My friend takes a day to herself every Mother's Day , and her kids are used to it and expect it. Mine, however, would be devastated. It's really about what works for your particular family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 If you think it would hurt your kids' feelings, tell your DH that's what you want to do NEXT weekend. My friend takes a day to herself every Mother's Day , and her kids are used to it and expect it. Mine, however, would be devastated. It's really about what works for your particular family. That is a good idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Heh heh heh. I'm a firm believer that Mother's Day should involve some time alone for me sans hubby and kids. :) Funny thing is: I'm also a firm believer that Father's Day should be all about daddy spending as much time with his kiddos as possible. ;) :001_tt2: :D It's a crazy double standard, but I'm good with that. :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Not mean at all. Every mother needs some time alone. Enjoy some time to yourself, weekly not just mother's day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Heh heh heh. I'm a firm believer that Mother's Day should involve some time alone for me sans hubby and kids. :) Funny thing is: I'm also a firm believer that Father's Day should be all about daddy spending as much time with his kiddos as possible. ;) :001_tt2: :D It's a crazy double standard, but I'm good with that. :cheers2: :lol: and :thumbup1: (Are you my long-lost evil twin? ;) :D ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MtnMama Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Definitely not mean. But I understand why you are worried about it. I'm an introvert too and so many people who have known me all my life just don't get it. At all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I always take it as a me day, if I can. I think it is ironic when some families make it a day about mom performing her role up to her family's expectations, or face hurt feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 i'll be on the other side of this one..... for me, mother's day is about relationship, not about one of things that i might want.... on the other hand, if the kids and dh wanted to clean the bathtub, put candles and draw you a bath and retreat to the tv room to give you space, i would see that as a good comprimise... . fwiw, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 No way are you mean! If it's really important to the kids, spend the morning letting the kids celebrate their special momma, then start your alone time. On Mother's Day, dh and the boys make me breakfast, then we take some flowers to MIL's. After an hour, I go home and spend the afternoon ALONE. The kids get to celebrate me in the morning; MIL gets to spend time with dh and the boys, and me for a little while; I get my alone time. Win-Win-Win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 What could possibly be mean about that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 A chance to refresh as a Mom is not mean. It's Mother's Day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 It would be my dream day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 If it bothers you to do it on Mother's Day, how about asking for a gift certificate (with a clear date) for such a day in the near future? Maybe call if "Mom's Day of Pampering" rather than "A Day Without the Kids"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 What about a 1/2 day off on Saturday like you describe followed by a day with the kids for Sunday? Dh can take the kids to make plans for Sunday, and then Sunday it can be what the kids plan for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Mean? It might be, depending on the age or general disposition of your kids. If you were my mom, I'd have been fine with the idea but my sister would have felt hurt. Different personalities. I tend to think Mother's Day is more for the kids, and less for the moms - especially for the 13 and under set. I don't know that this reads (here) the way I mean it to; basically I think that it's a fabricated day that designed to "let" our children show appreciation for us. In their way. Especially when they're young. You know, the cliche breakfast in bed that we feign surprise at even though we've smelt it burning through the vents for the past hour ... the cheesy flower card that reads how their love G-r-o-w-s for us ... the award-winning acting job accepting our millionth hand-drawn picture showing us as a giant blob ... "the thought matters" type of thing. Blame Hallmark or whomever, but that's how I see the day. I'd feel badly asking my (younger) kids to let me spend the day alone. I think it's a great gift to request of my husband, taken any day other than actual Mother's Day. Maybe it's the Saturday before, or maybe the following weekend - it's an easy enough tradition to establish so that mom gets what she wants, with less likelihood of hurting the kids. In my house, my older kids always take the younger kids out on the day before Mother's Day. It's so I can cook and prepare the buffet for my own mom and grandmother, but it's so much easier to do without a bunch of kids underfoot LOL. That's the olders' gift to me; the day of the holiday, the youngers get to feel like they're honoring me. In time they'll mature and evolve away from cliche gifts to noticing things that will truly be a gift to me. Like a day off :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I don't see taking a day to yourself as a mean thing to do, but I honestly don't see why you would pick Mother's Day to do it. Why not a different day? Heck, why not several different days spread over time? You don't need a reason or a certain day to request alone time. I personally wouldn't take the chance of hurting my kids' feelings when it's so unnecessary. Why not have dh do that THIS weekend? And then pencil in the next date for June? But not on Father's Day, lol. Another reason I don't like the idea of asking for time off on Mother's Day: dh taking the kids on his own is not a 'gift,' imo. He's the father; he doesn't babysit, he parents. It should not be exceptional or perceived as a gift for him to have the kids on his own for a few hours or a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Could your kids be involved in your day off? Make you breakfast in bed, draw you a bubble bath, etc... I like the compromise idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I too think of Mother's Day as a day for relationships, for moms and kids spending time together. I don't see a thing at all wrong with asking for a day to yourself as a Mother's Day gift, though. I'd just ask for it on a different day. Maybe the Saturday before, or the Saturday or Sunday afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 No, I don't think it is mean. My kids make me breakfast in bed. I go to the garden center and come home and plant and putter in the yard alone. Then we order in chinese and eat an early dinner and watch a movie. As you can see, my perfect mother's day involves a fair number of hours alone. I need the recharge time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I think it depends on your family. My kids would be disappointed. They would at least want to fix me a really nice brunch served at a beautifully set table. Then they would probably want to do something together. I really like the idea of having mommy alone time on a different weekend! Maybe they could make you a gift certificate for Mom's Day Off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 I am really diggin' the idea of cashing in my "gift" on a different day, and spending Mothers Day with my family. I don't get alone time on a regular basis (for some PP's who mentioned it) I can't remember the last time I was home alone! I have this huge issue with moms today acting as if their kids are a burden.. I want my kids to know I WANT to spend time with them. Asking for a day away from them as a gift just seems like its sending a different message kwim? Ill just do it another day to be safe. (Although with my dds age and the fact that I spend everyday all day of my life with dc, I think they know I want to be with them ;)) P.s. I, in no way meant to imply that anyone wanting a "break" views their kids as burdens.. just to clear that up :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Nope. Best MD gift ever was when DH took the 2 boys out for the day. They were gone for most of the day. I am always reminding him of that gift and how special it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 On Mother's Day I ask for a kitchen-free day. That's a big help but the family is good with that, we either eat out or they do the cooking and clean up for me. But I just had a light bulb moment. Labor Day might actually be a good day for a busy home schooled mom to declare a day off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 My friend always gets an overnight or two at a hotel right before mother's day. She then meets them at church on Mom's day (dad gets them ready and brings them) and spends that day with them - after her couple days of rest. Everyone wins! That way they get to "give" mom a day or two of pampering, and she gets to come home and say, "I'm so excited to spend mom's day with you!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 That's what I did last year. It was amazing! My mother and I went to the Detroit Institute of Art for a special exhibit then had a fabulous lunch. We stopped at Ulta for make up. Then watched a movie. It was great. I highly recommend it lol :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I would do it another day, but no, asking for time alone isn't "mean." :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammish Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I do this pretty much every year for Mother's day and my birthday. They're my only two real "days off" all year (where I don't feel guilty for not "helping out"), and they're wonderful! As someone upthread said, they make me a better mother - I'm much happier and more relaxed and ready to get back into the thick of things after my little mini-vacations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 Thank you for all of the replies. Im talking to dh about it tonight! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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