Homeschool=homebirth?

[BakersDozen]

I was part of a very interesting discussion last night: 6 hsing moms were talking about L&D. I was asked by one woman who my midwife is and I said that I have an OB. The woman then said with something like horror in her voice, "You don't deliver in the hospital, do you?!" When I said yes another woman said, "But you homeschool!" um, what??? Most of the women could not comprehend a hs mom not homebirthing! In fact one of the women began to really challenge me but thankfully one of the women (bless her) stepped in and said, "She has 7 kids, I'm sure she knows what she is doing" and changed the subject.

 

I don't want to open a discussion on homebirth vs hospital, I just want to know if anyone else has come across this mentality. I was quite taken back and just didn't know what to say (I'm not confrontational at all). And it sure didn't help the pressure I've been made to feel by the midwife at my church who is constantly saying little things against the OBs/hospital here. :glare:

[Plucky]

I'm a homeschooling homebirther and I don't know many others. Maybe it's more likely that quiverfull moms homebirth and homeschool?

[scrappyhappymama]

I've found that my natural childbirthing, crunchy friends are more likely to consider homeschooling than those who go the hospital route. I think it is because they (we) are already bucking the establishment in some areas, so it's easier to consider doing so in others. But I don't think it necessarily works the other way around. I don't see that making a decision to homeschool would necessary lead to making the choice to homebirth.

[Gretchen in NJ]

I have never heard that since you homeschool you must have a home birth. My experience is that homeschoolers are diverse group of people.

[Jenny in Atl]

Coming up in LLL I knew lots of homebirthing moms, some homeschooled but many did not. Not sure the two are synonymous.

[abbeyej]

*Most* of my home schooling friends had hospital births... I think a higher percentage of home schoolers home birth than the general population (and I think a higher percentage of home birthers home school than the general population), but it's absolutely *not* a one-to-one correlation.

 

Even among my home schooling friends, I'm a rarity in that I had an unassisted home birth. And while I have several friends who've both home birthed and home schooled, I know a number of people who've done one and not the other.

 

Maybe the woman you came across today was like my dh... He's been known to say, when a friend of his mentioned taking his wife to the hospital to have a baby, "Why?!?" lol... (hanging my head, lol) He has mellowed a bit, but after we had dd at home (and ds had been born at the hospital), he couldn't understand why anyone would subject themselves to a hospital birth if they didn't have to. I agree, lol, but I recognize that not everyone feels as I do. ;)

[3lilreds in NC]

The only friend I have who homebirths is a homeschooler, but I don't think the two necessarily go hand in hand. I homeschool and would not have considered home birth. That is SO not up my alley. :D

[Heather in Neverland]

I have run into this kind of thing before as well, you know, the assumptions that come along with homeschooling. I never equated the two either just like I don't automatically assume that someone who homeschools has a bunch of kids, does it for religious reasons, does attachment parenting or extended breastfeeding, etc. But some people like to lump everyone into one category! BTW, I delivered in a hospital, with an OB and plenty of drugs.:D

[Plaid Dad]

Almost all of the homeschoolers we know locally are also committed to natural birth, usually home birth, but I wouldn't assume that connection holds for everyone everywhere.

[LizzyBee]

That reminded me of my neighbor across the street in Baltimore. I had hospital births, she went to a birthing center (#2 was actually born in the car in front of Pimlico Racetrack on the way to the birthing center). She commented once very emphatically that she was so glad not to have to give birth in the hospital on her back with her feet in stirrups. (Hmm, I was not flat on the back with my vg births and I never saw any stirrups.) After her #2 was born, we took her dd over to their birthing center. I looked around and I was sooo glad I didn't have to give birth there. Different strokes and all that.

[chiguirre]

All of mine were c-sections and I know I'm not alone on this board. If you drew the homebirth/homeschool venn diagram, the intersection might be large, but the two groups definitely don't overlap.

[G5052]

"Out" where I live most homeschoolers have an acre or two of land in semi-rural areas, grow some of their own food, participate in natural food co-ops, and yes, homebirthing is fairly common. Even those who go the traditional OB/hospital route tend toward unmedicated births.

 

We go to a co-op where most of the families live in developments with parks, pools, and neighborhood associations, shop at regular grocery stores, and I only know of one family that homebirths. Most go for the more "modern" births with induction, epidurals, etc.

 

I guess I tend to be somewhere in the middle. Interesting topic though...?

[mommaduck]

I've found that my natural childbirthing, crunchy friends are more likely to consider homeschooling than those who go the hospital route. I think it is because they (we) are already bucking the establishment in some areas, so it's easier to consider doing so in others. But I don't think it necessarily works the other way around. I don't see that making a decision to homeschool would necessary lead to making the choice to homebirth.

:iagree:

[dangermom]

Yes, I'd agree that they're more likely to overlap in the Venn diagram, but for myself, I had c-sections. I don't know anyone IRL who homebirths (oh wait, there was that one homeschooling mom in San Jose)--here in CA it's rather tricky to pull off, I think.

 

But I do have one messageboard of homeschoolers where homebirthing is also popular. And no vaccinations too.

[jenn-]

I have fun listening to our local group of ladies. I don't think they have done the homebirth thing but most are big into the natural thing. I'm a firm believer in the epidural so you can assume we don't exactly see eye to eye on this fact. Luckily I am done having kids (or I better be) and I was before I started homeschooling so there has never been any pressure to go natural from the group.

[milovany]

I think the thought -- the one that goes along with homeschooling -- is that SINCE we've discovered that we don't need "professionals" to teach our kids, why do we need "professionals" to birth our kids? (I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with this, just mentioning it). You can move this into many areas of life ... for example, I wonder how many homeschoolers sell their houses by owner rather than with a realtor? (ie., why do we need a professional to sell our house? Why can't we do it ourselves?). Am I making sense? We happen to home birth and buy/sell by owner ... so that's why I've put a teeny bit of thought into this. Hmmm ... what other areas of life could this apply? :)

[PeterPan]

I think the thought -- the one that goes along with homeschooling -- is that SINCE we've discovered that we don't need "professionals" to teach our kids, why do we need "professionals" to birth our kids?

 

Uh, just as an observation by one who homebirthed my first and plan to this coming dc in 8 weeks, I consider my direct entry midwife a professional (of 15 years experience!) and wouldn't dream of giving birth without her. More power to abbeyej for her unassisted birth. I plunk out big ones (dd was 9lb4oz), the shoulder got stuck last time, and I appreciate the help!

 

I homeschool because I can do it better than the local school, and I homebirth because I can have a better experience at home, the one I want, than I could at the hospital. That's it.

 

I think the op just ran into a crowd of people bent that way. We have a very diverse community of homeschoolers in our area, and I'm pretty sure if you got a certain mix together, it would make you conclude that all homeschoolers home church, which is not the case either.

[elegantlion]

Most of the homeschoolers I knew did not use homebirthing. This was in northern Missouri. In fact I've never seen it discussed much until this forum. My ds was born via c-section, followed by me spending a week in the hospital due to complications from a previous surgery.

[abbeyej]

...and I'm pretty sure if you got a certain mix together, it would make you conclude that all homeschoolers home church, which is not the case either.

or that they all bake their own bread

or they all have five-plus children

or they all cut their own hair (or don't cut their hair at all)

or they all hunt

or they all vote democratic / republican

etc, etc...

[Peek a Boo]

I've found that my natural childbirthing, crunchy friends are more likely to consider homeschooling than those who go the hospital route. I think it is because they (we) are already bucking the establishment in some areas, so it's easier to consider doing so in others. But I don't think it necessarily works the other way around. I don't see that making a decision to homeschool would necessary lead to making the choice to homebirth.

 

*Most* of my home schooling friends had hospital births... I think a higher percentage of home schoolers home birth than the general population (and I think a higher percentage of home birthers home school than the general population), but it's absolutely *not* a one-to-one correlation.

 

{wow! I can SEE you abbey!!}

 

These two snippets are pretty typical of what i observed in San Antonio, Upstate NY, and the Dallas area :)

[Remudamom]

I had my first two in the small hospital nearby, no drugs because they just didn't do them. I learned this after eight hours of labor with the first, btw.

 

I was in the hospital for 3.5 months waiting for the triplets, and when they finally let me go into labor things were happening so quickly that they knocked me out altogether.

 

I like drugs and plenty of them, thank you very much!

[mommylawyer]

Hmmm... well, I've decided that if we have another child, I want to homebirth. This would be the first child we've had since we started homeschooling.

 

I guess I'm of the mentality that "if you want something done right, do it yourself." Homeschool? Homebirth? For me, it fits.

[Mama Lynx]

Hmmm. Well in my case, an interest in alternative forms of birth led to an interest in more natural living, and then to alternative forms of education. I have four kids. Only one (the last one) was homebirthed. One was born in a birth center, two in a hospital, one of those was a homebirth transport.

 

Out of all the homeschooling moms I've known I would say that a higher percentage of them do homebirth or birth center birth than the non-homeschooling moms I know; but still, hospital birth is the norm in the homeschooling groups.

[pianoplayer]

As the mom of two premies, I'm very thankful for an excellent OB and hospital where my babies and I received top-notch care. We are very well aware of the fact that, in other circumstances or in another country with different medical care, neither our children nor me might be around today.

[Sue G in PA]

That reminded me of my neighbor across the street in Baltimore. I had hospital births, she went to a birthing center (#2 was actually born in the car in front of Pimlico Racetrack on the way to the birthing center). She commented once very emphatically that she was so glad not to have to give birth in the hospital on her back with her feet in stirrups. (Hmm, I was not flat on the back with my vg births and I never saw any stirrups.) After her #2 was born, we took her dd over to their birthing center. I looked around and I was sooo glad I didn't have to give birth there. Different strokes and all that.

 

I know that birth center! I went there up until my 36th wk with my 2nd child. Then I found a midwife that would deliver me at home and so I left that birth center. I would drive by Pimlico to get there each month, too! How funny. Small world.

[Diana in OR]

I guess I'm a paradox, then.:confused:

 

I had one hospital birth, and one home birth. Last year, my hospital birth child went to ps, while I hsed my home-birthed child. This year, they're both going to school.

 

I only know a few hs moms who had a home-birth. Oddly, though, once I was invited to a candle party at a neighbors house. All the other ladies there knew each other from the biker club (hard core!) their sig. others belonged to.

They were the nicest group of ladies and it turned out many of them had had home births and even used the same midwife I had!

[BakersDozen]

"Out" where I live most homeschoolers have an acre or two of land in semi-rural areas, grow some of their own food, participate in natural food co-ops, and yes, homebirthing is fairly common.

Ah...now that I think about it that describes the women I was with last night. Interesting...

 

I just love the diversity on this forum. I'm much reassured that I can hs and not homebirth. I feel stupid that their words affected me - unfortunately that is my personality.

[Nicole M]

I don't know any real living homeschoolers in my community, just you guys, but people seem to have a "that figures" attitude when they find out that we both homeschool and that I had a homebirth. My son, at five, seemed to think there was a correlation, however. We were talking about school, and considering our options, when one day he walked into the room and announced quite soberly, "I had home birth. I'm having home school." In his mind, that was the end of the discussion.

[Amy in Orlando]

I've had three c-sections. Certainly not my first choice, but that's how it played out. And, I homeschool.

 

My sister had her first at the hospital and her second two at home. I hear about it often and with much "I'm better" attitude. Whatever. She regards homeschooling as an anomaly and I'll never win her over.

 

So there you have it - hospital birth/surgical birth mom homeschooling four kids and homebirth mom (twice over) who is the PTA president.

 

I think it's more about personality and temperament than how you gave birth. In the long run, it's such a small part of things.

[lwilliams1922]

I homeschool because I can do it better than the local school, and I homebirth because I can have a better experience at home, the one I want, than I could at the hospital. That's it.

 

 

 

 

:iagree:

I home birthed my last because when I put everything on the table it made sense to ME. I would never down anyone for what they feel is best for them.

 

When people find out I had a home birth they almost always ask if it was on purpose. :)

 

it's funny. We lived in Northern VA last year when dd was born. There was a larger pocket of both home birthing and homeschool familes. Now we are in Northern NY where there doesnt seem to be as many supporters.

[lighthouseacademy]

I think it definitely depends on where you live. In Fresno, CA where I used to live, the homebirthers I ran across mostly homeschooled and most of the homeschoolers I knew homebirthed. However, I moved to another state and different naturally minded quotient and I have friends who both home and hospital birth that homeschool. Personally, I have had 3 homebirths and will continue to do it WITH a professional- my midwife. In fact, my 2nd birth, which was accidentally unassisted, was supposed to be attended by a lay midwife with 30 years experience who I felt was far more knowledgeable in the field of birth than the CNM I had for my first birth.

[Missouri Mama]

I guess since home births and home schooling are both nontraditional, you will find a certain percentage of people that do both. However, most of the home schoolers that I know do not have home births.

[beansprouts]

That reminded me of my neighbor across the street in Baltimore. I had hospital births, she went to a birthing center (#2 was actually born in the car in front of Pimlico Racetrack on the way to the birthing center). She commented once very emphatically that she was so glad not to have to give birth in the hospital on her back with her feet in stirrups. (Hmm, I was not flat on the back with my vg births and I never saw any stirrups.) After her #2 was born, we took her dd over to their birthing center. I looked around and I was sooo glad I didn't have to give birth there. Different strokes and all that.

 

:001_rolleyes:

 

I have no regrets at all about my hospital birth. I had almost as much freedom to walk and move as I did at home. My mother and dh coached me and with help from the midwife my dh delivered my dd. We were basically left alone to do as we pleased unless we needed anything. It all depends on which practice and hospital you choose.

[beansprouts]

I have fun listening to our local group of ladies. I don't think they have done the homebirth thing but most are big into the natural thing. I'm a firm believer in the epidural so you can assume we don't exactly see eye to eye on this fact. Luckily I am done having kids (or I better be) and I was before I started homeschooling so there has never been any pressure to go natural from the group.

 

 

Heheee...

 

My youngest son's birth was fast and extremely intense. During a post-partum visit my midwife asked me if there was anything I would do differently next time. I said "Drugs!"

 

I understand why many women prefer them.

[beansprouts]

Interestingly enough, the 3 hser/hbers that I know all gave up on hsing. Hmmm... I would have loved to have hbed, but I'mn a 5 c-section model myself...

 

 

Really? My cousin had to have c-sections. I believe her doctor told her that she could only have three. :confused:

[beansprouts]

Uh, just as an observation by one who homebirthed my first and plan to this coming dc in 8 weeks, I consider my direct entry midwife a professional (of 15 years experience!) and wouldn't dream of giving birth without her. More power to abbeyej for her unassisted birth. I plunk out big ones (dd was 9lb4oz), the shoulder got stuck last time, and I appreciate the help!

 

I homeschool because I can do it better than the local school, and I homebirth because I can have a better experience at home, the one I want, than I could at the hospital. That's it.

 

I think the op just ran into a crowd of people bent that way. We have a very diverse community of homeschoolers in our area, and I'm pretty sure if you got a certain mix together, it would make you conclude that all homeschoolers home church, which is not the case either.

 

What she said.

 

I do use professional assistance in homeschooling my children. My curriculum was written by professionals, and I hire tutors and use classes for various subjects beyond my expertise.

 

I also used a professional to assist my homebirths ;)

[beansprouts]

I had my first two in the small hospital nearby, no drugs because they just didn't do them. I learned this after eight hours of labor with the first, btw.

 

I was in the hospital for 3.5 months waiting for the triplets, and when they finally let me go into labor things were happening so quickly that they knocked me out altogether.

 

I like drugs and plenty of them, thank you very much!

 

 

Really? You're such a tough lady I would have thought you'd have a natural birth, take the kid home and be out mucking stalls within an hour :D

[Marie in Oh]

and no one could pay me enough to homebirth. Not on your life. I am too risk averse.

 

And, I don't want my other kids in the same county when I am in labor. :lol:

 

Many, many of my friends homebirth. I am glad they have the freedom to do it.

 

And I am glad I have the freedom to get in my car and go to the birthcenter. :auto:

[beansprouts]

Hmmm. Well in my case, an interest in alternative forms of birth led to an interest in more natural living, and then to alternative forms of education. I have four kids. Only one (the last one) was homebirthed. One was born in a birth center, two in a hospital, one of those was a homebirth transport.

 

Out of all the homeschooling moms I've known I would say that a higher percentage of them do homebirth or birth center birth than the non-homeschooling moms I know; but still, hospital birth is the norm in the homeschooling groups.

 

You may be right. While pregnant with our first, we began to explore natural birth. DH and I attended a Bradley class which was our first exposure to natural and alternative lifestyles. We did have a hospital birth, but it was attended by carefully selected midwives who would honor our choices. I think this may very well have helped set the course for us as parents.

[LizzyBee]

Really? My cousin had to have c-sections. I believe her doctor told her that she could only have three. :confused:

 

Maybe her uterus is thin and brittle? I have a friend whose doctors fingers went right through her uterus during her C-section with #4. They knew her uterus would rupture with a vg birth, so they did a scheduled C-section before she went into labor. Her dr advised her not to have any more children.

[dangermom]

I think it might depend on the doctor. Mine told me he would do as many c-sections as I wanted, pretty much--I think he was happy with my condition after the second birth. We couldn't have any more for other reasons. :(

 

I'm grateful for c-sections, since I'm alive today thanks to modern medicine and surgery. (My first was 10 lbs. 2 oz. and turned the wrong way!) But I'm glad other people can homebirth if they want to!

[Tracey in TX]

No correlation between homebirth and homeschool!

I appreciated being sedated while giving birth. Don't understand why it can't continue until college years! Didn't do LLL. Don't live 'off the grid' (is that the correct term?), bake bread, wear long skirts, or own livestock.

 

People are funny with assumptions! It gives us great fodder to appreciate others' questions about another person's lifestyle.

[threetreasurs]

No correlation in our area!

[phathui5]

Well, I do know a lot of homebirthing homeschoolers and I do both myself.

[Queen of Sheba]

In my local area, we have both hs'ing homebirthers and hospital birthers. The homebirthers are pretty aghast at how any woman could go to a hospital and subject herself to OBs and standard procedures, etc. Honestly, my first birth was a natural childbirth in the hospital and I did feel "out of control" of what was happening to me to a certain extent. We planned a homebirth for our second pregnancy and were seeing a CNM through 21 weeks, when it was discovered that I wasn't having a baby... I was having TWO.

 

We were excited about having twins and our only disappointment was that we were facing a hospital birth again. (I did a ton of research on twin homebirths and discovered that the safety rate for twins at home is not nearly the same as for singletons -basically the "Baby B" is always a wildcard and has higher chances of needing hospital care or emergency c-section). This time, since we knew "the hospital routine," (we were able to write a detailed birth plan with our exact wishes) and since my OB is wonderful, we were able to have the perfect natural childbirth. I wouldn't have changed anything about it (except the pain level near the end, of course). It was so nice, in fact, that if I'm blessed with another child, I'll likely do the hospital route again. I'll just be embarassed to have to tell my crunchy homeschooling friends and my doula. Especially since I was a homebirthing advocate and all my buddies knew about my planned (and cancelled!) homebirth.

[gardenschooler]

I plunk out big ones (dd was 9lb4oz), the shoulder got stuck last time, and I appreciate the help!

 

 

 

Mine were that big, too, and they didn't want to come out. With #1, it took 2 days for the induction to even work. Same with #3. I tried to have a homebirth with #3, but in the end, I finally went in to be induced because I was over 2 weeks overdue and had preeclampsia. I thought I was some kind of woman, having the pitocin with no drugs or epidural, but looking back now, I think I was just crazy. It was all I could do to hang on to my idea of what I wanted the births to be like, so I did it.

 

The only one that came on her own was #2, as she was only a week late. She was almost born at home, but not intentionally! Had I known it was so easy to have a baby if you are actually in labor, I definitely would have had her at home.

 

Nowadays, it seems they induce almost immediately after the due date. My niece is scheduled to be induced just a few days after her due date!

[Vida Winter]

But for my family, absolutely not. I had all my babies in the hospital and would not have even considered a home birth. I guess I don't fit that stereotype.

[LadyAberlin]

Well I had a homebirth for my first and GASP I had a hospital birth with my second and liked it better:lol: I just told everyone at the hospital to keep their hands off my baby and it all went great. I also was more comfortable having the baby where I knew if there was a problem I had people who could help. My first baby was 3 weeks early and when he was born he turned blue and went limp. I have never wanted to be in a hospital so badly in all my life. The midwife gave him oxygen and he started breathing. Then my placenta wouldn't come. So she gave me some herbal stuff and it didn't work and so she had to give be a shot of pitocin. 20 min later it came. I was wishing I was at the hospital. So no homebirths for me anymore, at least as long as my OB is willing to work with me on not having an IV and allowing me to eat etc. Majority of homeschoolers I know do not homebirth, but all the homebirthers that I know are homeschoolers.