What grade do you say your child is in?

[poiema]

When people ask, what grade do you say your child is in when they are working at a grade level different than they would be at a B&M school? I have a 2nd grader who should be in 1st and a K'er who should be in preK. I usually just say the grade that I consider them in without even thinking, but I always worry that they will be judged immature compared to other kids in that grade.

[Mommie_Jen]

It's been recommended to me to go by what grade they would be in at a public school vs what level curriculum they are working at. That's what I do. We will be starting first grade in the spring sometime, but I won't say he's a first grader until late summer.

[HelenNotOfTroy]

Grade by age for local schools. My summer birthday 5 year old is K, regardless of academic work.

[HappyCrazyMama]

Grade by age for local schools. My summer birthday 5 year old is K, regardless of academic work.

:iagree: That's what I do.

 

 

ETA - I do this at home too. My kids are in grade _, no matter what level they are working on in a subject.

[Ellie]

I always say the grade my dc would be in if they were in school, based on their birthdays and the cut-off in our state. Always. :-)

[StartingOver]

I find it easier to just call them the grade/age they would be in ps. It is difficult enough to explain the levels of actual work to those who need to know, without getting those looks. I do have a signature here, but haven't had anyone be negative in a long time. IRL is soooooo very different than here.

[StartingOver]

Darn double post, now I have it figured out though. It looks like I didn't post, so I push the button again.

[ByGrace3]

We also go by what grade they would be in ps based on age and birthday.

[TreviFive]

I consider our new school year to start in January, starting the winter that they're five. Depending on the situation, I'll either say the grade that I consider them, the grade they would be in public school, or just their age. I never go by the level they're working at.

[Parrothead]

My October girl would be in 7th if she was in PS. But she is in 8th grade. She will tell you pretty quickly that she has done the work to earn 8th grade designation.

[Χά�ων]

It depends. If someone is just curious I give them the grade DS would be in if he attended the local public school. If it is for sports that is much different. For the parks and rec leagus I take DS with me and enroll/pay in person. I introduce myself and say I would like to enroll him in some such sport. I just nod my head and agree with them when they assume DS is older then he is. DS is 9inches taller then same age peers (per CDC growth chart) and weighs 30-40lbs more (all muscle). He is just all around a big boy.

[SilverMoon]

We say grade by age in that situation. The number that's actually on the cover of their schoolbook rarely comes up, and that's generally not what people are asking about anyway.

 

That said, I have two with fall birthdays who would have missed our local cut-off if they'd begun school in this state. They didn't begin school in this state, and I wasn't going to pull them back a grade just because we moved. One of them is a second grader doing third to fourth grade work; she's not using a single grade two book. The person asking about her grade at the grocery store just wants to know which tidy mental group of children she belongs in, not what material she's covering on a daily basis. :001_smile:

[Dory]

Grade by age for local schools. My summer birthday 5 year old is K, regardless of academic work.

 

This is what we do too. People close to us know a little more about what we're doing but if I start saying that my 5 year old is in grade 2, people assume he's older and expect more out of him which isn't fair for him.

[Harriet Vane]

I always say the grade my dc would be in if they were in school, based on their birthdays and the cut-off in our state. Always. :-)

 

:iagree: My kids are ahead in some subjects and taking others at a slower pace. There's no point in trying to define "grade level." I just make sure we are moving ahead, reading, thinking, and learning each day. We just go with whatever grade they would be in school and teach at whatever level they are at. It all evens out in the end.

[Karen in CO]

I say the grade they would be in ps based on the local ps cutoff dates.

[CatholicMom]

Grade by age for local schools. My summer birthday 5 year old is K, regardless of academic work.

 

Same here. I'm in NY so I have to report what grade they are in according to the regulations, too. To me, it wouldn't make sense to say they are in a certain grade according to what level of work they're doing because that's too flexible. It's not uncommon to have a child who "would be" in 2nd in PS doing mostly 2nd grade work, but 3rd grade math, and 1st grade spelling, or what have you. So then you'd have to say they are in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. lol I think it's simpler and more straight-forward to just say what grade they are in according to age. Plus, I feel like mine are kind of "officially" the grade I report to the school district anyway, even if they struggle in one subject and are ahead in another. Also, you might not want to pin yourself or your daughter down to a "grade ahead" what they would be in ps. It's not like you have to keep on your track because of what anyone else thinks, but I would personally worry that her work would get too difficult and then people would ask why she's in 4th grade "again." Just in case. YKWIM?

[Crimson Wife]

Unless I was planning to formally grade-skip in order to enter a B&M high school or college early, the grade corresponding to their age.

[LearningMomm]

When people ask that most really just want to know how old they are. So we decided on their birthdays will be when they will be promoted the next grade. Starting at 5 they are in K, when they turn 6 they are in 1st, etc. Then they just work on whatever level curriculum wise.

[poiema]

Thank you all so much for your replies!

 

Parrothead, my 6 year old will correct me if I say he is in 1st grade.

 

Same here. I'm in NY so I have to report what grade they are in according to the regulations, too. To me, it wouldn't make sense to say they are in a certain grade according to what level of work they're doing because that's too flexible. It's not uncommon to have a child who "would be" in 2nd in PS doing mostly 2nd grade work, but 3rd grade math, and 1st grade spelling, or what have you. So then you'd have to say they are in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. lol I think it's simpler and more straight-forward to just say what grade they are in according to age. Plus, I feel like mine are kind of "officially" the grade I report to the school district anyway, even if they struggle in one subject and are ahead in another. Also, you might not want to pin yourself or your daughter down to a "grade ahead" what they would be in ps. It's not like you have to keep on your track because of what anyone else thinks, but I would personally worry that her work would get too difficult and then people would ask why she's in 4th grade "again." Just in case. YKWIM?

 

 

I have actually considered this! :001_unsure:

And I know what you mean. My kids aren't pure 2nd or K. They are even ahead of those grade levels in both reading and math, but for the most part I feel like they level out at those grade levels. But just sticking with their age/grade makes a lot of sense.

[poiema]

Oops, double post!

[Amy Jo]

The grade they would be in based on their age and birthday.

[Hunter]

K-8. Different curricula have different levels of rigor. It's too hard to adjust grade level every time a curriculum change is made. If you just use age, it gives you more freedom to curriculum hop.

 

If a low income highschooler is using American School and is out in the work force, I recommend graduating a grade every time a student finishes 1/4 of the curriculum. It increases their ability to earn money. My older son started 9th grade early and skipped 8th grade. Doing the easy courses first he finished 1 1/2 years of work by Spring. So at the end of 8th grade we called him a Sophmore and he was able to get a steady job (instead of continuing to work for store credits) and started earning his junior college tuition. This enabled him to start junior college at 16 paying his own way through, while earning "college boy" wages instead of the typical wages his age mates were earning. He graduated at 19 and headed for Las Vegas debt free and financially independent with years of work history under his belt.

 

Unless it's a money issue, I recommend staying with age all the way through. Sports were not an issue for my boys as teens. We were BARELY fed and clothed at that point. Sports was a whole other world we weren't living in.

[RootAnn]

I usually recommend going with their grade level by age, however I don't always do this. :ohmy:

 

My oldest will say the grade I have her working in but according to age/grade cut-offs & official paperwork, she's in the grade behind. At some point, this will catch up to her. I don't have to worry YET about people wondering why she's repeating (8th?) a grade again. :svengo:

 

My ds#1 makes the cut-off for K this year, but he was in no way ready to do K work. So, he's pre-K. And starting in Jan, my promote-in-Jan child will say she's in 2nd grade -- which she wouldn't be if she were in the local B&M school because she didn't make the age/grade cut-off.

 

I'm always happy when my kids just give an answer without hesitating & looking to me for guidance or answering with a question in their voices. :coolgleamA:

[higginszoo]

In most cases, the grade that they'd be in in public school. One may be graduating early, and is starting to transition to that ... sometimes he calls himself a freshmore (as does the neighbor who is 15 months older, but taking a more leisurely pace through high school to allow for following non-academic interests that take a lot of his time), but most of the time, ds identifies with his age grade, 9th. Another child is 'skipped' in most outside classes right now, so while she would be in 2nd, she's usually with the 3rd graders ... sometimes she identifies as a 2nd grader, but most of the time she is 3rd (neither is the grade level that her school books say) ... with the understanding that at 5th/6th or 8th/9th, she might 'repeat' a year or lay up to get where she 'should' be. Older dd is in that 'lay up' year this year. She's doing all high school work (except for her Associates level pre-vet classes), though a lighter load because she has a lot of volunteer work going on. But she's consistently ID'd as 8th grade because she's planning on ps for 9th next year.

[Hunter]

When things were too disconnected with my youngest, I just insisted, "He's not in a Grade. He doesn't go to school. He is _ years old."

[higginszoo]

Double Post

[boscopup]

Much of what we do doesn't have grade levels, and the subjects that do have grade levels aren't all the same grade level. I have things ranging from grades 2 (handwriting) to 5 (math). I think my son could probably handle a b&m 4th grade, but he's 8 and in 3rd grade. I think the only thing he's doing with a "3" on it is spelling, and even that will change to 4th grade halfway through the year. I even have him in the 4th grade class at church now, since they needed more kids and he was more than ready for the 4th-5th grade class.

 

But again, he's in 3rd grade. He will graduate when he's done with 12th grade, unless he formally grade skips for some reason down the road. At this point in time, I have no plans to graduate him early. I'd rather him have more maturity going into college. There is always more to learn. He may have a much deeper education than the average high school graduate, but that's ok!

 

So in my house, grade level = age based grade level per public school cutoff. They work at their own pace in each subject. The kids don't get confused. Only DH gets confused - he forgets what grade DS1 is in ALL the time. :D

[Mélie]

I've been going by the grade they would be in if they were in public school. Here in Texas, that's kindergarten and pre-k. When we move back to Canada next month, they'll be in 1st grade and kindergarten. We get asked this mostly by other parents at the kids' activities, who really just want to know whether my kids are in the same grade as their child, older or younger.

[ccolopy]

I don't worry about it too much, but I usually just go with 3rd and 6th - the grades they would be in by age. DS's friends are all in 7th and 8th grade, and he takes a class for 7th-9th graders, so he gets lumped in with the 7th graders a lot. It doesn't bother us.

[FairProspects]

When things were too disconnected with my youngest, I just insisted, "He's not in a Grade. He doesn't go to school. He is _ years old."

 

This is my favorite response. Ds 1 defies all logic and I get way too many questions no matter what grade I answer so I like an age response best.

[mytwomonkeys]

5th & 3rd here. those are the grades they would be in if they attended public school. i also registered them when they would have been in PS kindergarten too, so the grades have always been simple for us to reference.

[Hunter]

Hunter, on 26 November 2012 - 06:41 PM, said:

 

When things were too disconnected with my youngest, I just insisted, "He's not in a Grade. He doesn't go to school. He is _ years old."

 

This is my favorite response. Ds 1 defies all logic and I get way too many questions no matter what grade I answer so I like an age response best.

 

 

Once they have skipped 5 grades of one subject and are working 2 grades below level in another, there is no "grade". I really made a few Sunday School teachers mad and then just dragged him into church with me. "I don't have an answer for you! And if you cannot accept that, you won't be able to handle him and his quirks in your class anyway, so I'll just keep him with. Here take my other "normal" kid, and have fun with him!" I was just EXHAUSTED and he wanted to be in church anyway, where the "good stuff" was being talked about. Yeh, I know I could have handled it better. Actually no I couldn't have. I was working on nothing but fumes.

[arghmatey]

Right now she's in grade Pony. She hasn't named her 2013 grade yet.

[PentecostalMom]

I'm in the "it depends" camp. According to the cut-off date here, 6yo dd would be in 1st grade, but we "started school" a year early so she is technically "in" 2nd grade. If anyone asks (which they rarely do) the reply is that she is in 2nd grade. Currently her outside activites go by age and not by grade. That holds true at church as well. If we encounter an activity that is grade based, I will make the decision then.

[mumto2]

The grade they would be in in the US. I can barely keep track of that much less the British equivalent!!! Nothing we use is for a specific grade so we all find it really confusing.

[Joshin]

My oldest always says he is in sixth grade, which is where he would be in PS. My youngest refuses to give a grade when asked, he always says he's homeschooled and doesn't do grades. :001_rolleyes: Even with our outside activities his grade changes. In scouts, he is officially 2nd (his age grade). At the science museum, they decided to put him down as fourth so he could participate in classes more on his level with the older kids, since fourth is the lowest grade they accept for the middle grade classes. Both my kids have college plans for high school, so it will probably just get more complicated to pinpoint them as the years pass.

[jujsky]

I used to just always say the grade I consider them to be in, but it's been getting weird when I do that lately. DD is young for the school grade she would be in (Sept. birthday) and she's working a grade level ahead. When she tells people she's in 4th grade and she just turned 8, she gets some strange looks or people argue with her. This year we're taking a gap year, so I either tell people we're doing a mixture of 3rd and 4th grade work, or I tell people she would be a 3rd-grader if she went to school, and at home she's doing 3rd and 4th grade work. It's confusing with DS too. He would be in 4th grade, but if I ever did send him to school I would probably hold him back a year. He also has an early b-day (August) so he would be young for his grade, and I don't feel he would be mature enough.

 

It's never easy, is it?

[Hunter]

Right now she's in grade Pony. She hasn't named her 2013 grade yet.

 

 

:lol:

[Tidbits of Learning]

Mostly I go with their grade level if they were in ps. I have kids that are doing higher math and science than their grade level and I have kids who are doing lower language arts than their grade level. I normally go by their age for ps. I do have one child that doesn't meet the birthday cutoff and he is working a grade level ahead. We just call him the grade level work he is doing.

[Hwin]

First grade. That's the grade for all the other kids his age. Most of our materials are listed as second grade, but I don't think most people need that explanation. In fact, the only time I mention it, is when I am trying to explaining how his autism diagnosis affects him - he has difficulty with certain social situations, but is doing above-grade-level in math. (When people wonder why the local public school was not a good fit, when at one point it said he'd need to be in a special ed classroom, and at another point stated he needed no educational supports whatsoever.)

[mhaddon]

I am having trouble with my oldest. He is first grade as far as level. By public school dates he would have made cut off for 2nd grade. Therefore, family expects him to be 2nd grade level. But, maturity and skill wise he wouldn't have been ready for K by PS dates. He is also very tall. I put him in with kids his age for cub scouts and am on the fence about what to do for 4-H.

[Clear Creek]

My kids understand that they must give me twelve years of schooling (bwahaha!), so the first of those twelve years we call first grade, the second we call second grade, etc. regardless of what level of work they are doing in each of their subjects.

[Kathryn]

His grade by age not by curriculum. That's what people are really asking. So, I'll say he's in first grade, but if he hears, he'll tell you he's in second. Then, I'll explain.

[Satori]

We've been saying grade by age as well now. So my daughter who just turned 8 is in second grade. Much easier! It got too confusing when we tried to fit a curriculum-appropriate grade to her and then she'd tell people she was several grades ahead of what she looked like, hehe.

[serendipitous journey]

We go by age. Button is a second grader now, b/c he'd be in second grade in the PS bu his age. In first grade (he was 6) he was highly accelerated in math, a bit above grade level in reading, and seriously subpar in writing!

 

FWIW, he had a friend who started first grade perfectly able to do all his sister's 3rd grade work (except perhaps the writing) and that child was still considered a first grader. So I think this makes sense esp. in our community.

[MeaganS]

When people ask that most really just want to know how old they are. So we decided on their birthdays will be when they will be promoted the next grade. Starting at 5 they are in K, when they turn 6 they are in 1st, etc. Then they just work on whatever level curriculum wise.

 

 

I really like this idea. I was planning on just doing our girls based on cutoffs, but the older two are right on the edge of making it or missing it, depending on what state we live in. Arkansas has an early cutoff, earlier than most places, but we plan on moving quite a bit in the next few years so I think I'll just make 5=K, 6=1st, etc. Thanks for the idea.

[Alice]

I'm in the "it depends" camp. According to the cut-off date here, 6yo dd would be in 1st grade, but we "started school" a year early so she is technically "in" 2nd grade. If anyone asks (which they rarely do) the reply is that she is in 2nd grade. Currently her outside activites go by age and not by grade. That holds true at church as well. If we encounter an activity that is grade based, I will make the decision then.

 

This is sort of us. My kids all have fall birthdays. The two oldest would have missed the K cutoff for public school by 6 weeks and a month. I started the oldest in K the year he was turning 5 and called him K. I did the same with my second. I call them the grade we have them in, which is the grade of the work they are doing. But since they really just missed the cutoff it’s not that big of a difference from what people expect by age. For us it works fine. For activities we go by grade also (except for certain sports like swimming that are very strict about age and birthdays). I don’t go by curriculum though, we have some things that we are using that are above grade level but I don’t factor that in. (So for example, my oldest just turned 9 and is in 4th grade. He is doing 5th grade Math and reads at a level somewhere above that, I don’t ever say all that if asked about grade. I just say 4th grade.)

 

I think it really depends on the child, although sometimes that’s hard to know when you make the decision. My oldest is fairly mature for his age, which is probably why I felt like starting him early in the first place. Most people are surprised when they hear his age because they thought he was older. They are also tallish so they don’t seem small compared to their same grade classmates and it isn’t an issue in sports. His two best friends are over a year older than him (one is homeschooled and a grade ahead of him, one is in a private school and his parents held him back a year). His age is not really a factor in his social life. I also was a year younger than my peers in school and never had an issue with it so that influenced my decision, in fact it really wasn’t something I thought about that much.

 

My daughter has a Sept birthday so we can also start her the fall she turns five but she would have met the cut-off anyway so that makes sense. :)

 

I see these type of threads often and realize that we are differ from the majority on this. I appreciate why people keep it simple and call them what they would be in public school, but I also think it’s really variable depending on circumstances and the child. If my son had been turning five in the spring I probably wouldn’t have called him K that year, regardless of what curriculum we are using. But since it was a few weeks and he was ready on all levels it made sense to me.

[kdownie]

My dd would be in first in a B&M school, so I say she is in first. She is doing second grade work in some subjects, but I still always say first grade.

[Georgiana Daniels]

We've taught our girls to say whatever grade level they'd be in if attending public school. Of course, they are ahead/behind in various subjects but that way we can avoid the judgements of others. At least in this one area.

[EKS]

When my children were homeschooled, I said whatever their grade-by-age was. Now that they're in a b&m school, I say the grade they are in--which for the younger one at the moment is one grade above what his age would imply.