blondeviolin Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Between work dinners/lunches and TDYs (business trips), etc. my husband has his fair share of nice dinners, time without children, adventures doing different things, etc. He always says we'll do something nice when he gets home, but that usually means fast food or something because we have kids and its cheaper. His grandpa died, so he flew to Utah for the funeral for the weekend. He is eating at some steakhouse with his family. We had beef stroganoff for dinner that I cooked, and wrangled kids at the table to eat, and then I cleaned. :glare: I would just go out with friends, but really? I don't have any good friends and he's the one I want to spend my time with anyway. He will sleep through the night tonight. Chances are good that I won't. Bummer... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Also, he always calls and texts when it's convenient for him. Sometimes I'm not even sure he's aware that that particular time could be inconvenient for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Sorry, that does sound crummy. I can remember when my youngest was a baby and my dh called from a business trip in Paris to tell me he was eating Creme Brule while watching the Ifle Tower and I was pretty annoyed. 11 years after that I went to Costa Rica with a girlfriend for a week and felt a lot better, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I can relate. Now that my kids are older I've started to do some more just for myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 :grouphug: :nopity: ;) BTDT : / You're a woman of few words tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Well, I know you want to be with him, but when he comes home maybe you could give him a big hug and kiss, tell him the pizza coupon is on the table and run out the door for a few hours. :lol: That was how I kept my sanity, getting that alone time for myself. Don't forget a date night for the two of you too.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I understand. I don't leave my children very often, but I get my personal time in other ways -- usually it involves DH doing the weekend breakfast shift, or me staying up late at night. I do go out once a month to meet with our homeschool co-op's board, and while thus far, I've taken the baby with me, it's still nice to see other moms and not have to deal with the whole crew. Have you tried discussing this with your DH to see if he has any suggestions? (And when DH is away, which is rare, I go for easy meals.) I do remind myself that it's all worth it not to have to get up at o'dark thirty like my DH does to go to work all day. No, thanks. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Between work dinners/lunches and TDYs (business trips), etc. my husband has his fair share of nice dinners, time without children, adventures doing different things, etc. He always says we'll do something nice when he gets home, but that usually means fast food or something because we have kids and its cheaper. His grandpa died, so he flew to Utah for the funeral for the weekend. He is eating at some steakhouse with his family. We had beef stroganoff for dinner that I cooked, and wrangled kids at the table to eat, and then I cleaned. :glare: I would just go out with friends, but really? I don't have any good friends and he's the one I want to spend my time with anyway. He will sleep through the night tonight. Chances are good that I won't. Bummer... :grouphug: I've had many a night eating thoroughly boring leftovers while my husband ate roasted duck and creme brulee in France, or ham sandwiches while he had lobster yumminess. I remember a particularly fun day this spring that I spent with the sick toddler while he had a sightseeing day in Chicago complete with food other people prepared and cleaned up. It's not his fault, of course, but it still stinks sometimes. I know my life is blessed beyond measure, but the days can get pretty repetitive sometimes. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I remember when our oldest was about two. I was at home all day, really didn't have any friends. When my dh got home from work, I went to the grocery store. I came home to find my dh and ds gone. Dh was the only one with a cell phone. I called him to find out he had gone to a friend's house and was having a nice evening visiting with adults. He came home to find the front screen door kicked out into the front lawn. :lol: It just floored me that he wouldn't even think that I might like an evening out with other adults! I know my life is blessed beyond measure, but the days can get pretty repetitive sometimes. :iagree: I get out more now but I remember those days. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Between work dinners/lunches and TDYs (business trips), etc. my husband has his fair share of nice dinners, time without children, adventures doing different things, etc. He always says we'll do something nice when he gets home, but that usually means fast food or something because we have kids and its cheaper. His grandpa died, so he flew to Utah for the funeral for the weekend. He is eating at some steakhouse with his family. We had beef stroganoff for dinner that I cooked, and wrangled kids at the table to eat, and then I cleaned. :glare: I would just go out with friends, but really? I don't have any good friends and he's the one I want to spend my time with anyway. He will sleep through the night tonight. Chances are good that I won't. Bummer... I often feel the same way. My DH is currently working in Jakarta, eating out every night, staying in a fancy hotel, and he has a car and driver. I'm at home washing dishes, doing laundry, and eating tuna sandwiches for dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 The last time he deployed, everyone was so sad for him because he was going to be away from his family. Yeah. He went to the Caribbean. Doing an OFFICE job for four hours a day. He would call me and be like, "I'm so bored. I've already been to work, snorkeling, running on the beach and cliff jumping. I think I'm going to get a steak for dinner." :angry: :glare: I always feel horrible feeling sorry for myself... but sometimes I can't help it! I am so lucky to have these precious little people around to help and serve and make me laugh. I just need to remember that. I just hope he remembers that I need a maid. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 :iagree: Last week it was a day in NYC with a car and driver, site seeing on the company. In a couple weeks it is a week in Hawaii, just to introduce himself to some new clients. I am happy for him...... but the highlight of my job, is getting extra hours because we are insanely busy with flu shots! (I work in a pharmacy) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Yup, this has been my life for 21 years. The plus side? We take all those frequent flier miles and the whole family goes on a month's vacation every other year. My paycheck. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) I think it's time for you to have a serious talk with your dh. It's pretty obvious that you're feeling resentful -- and quite frankly, there would be something wrong with you if you weren't! Does he know how you feel? If you're ever going to get anything that even remotely resembles "equal time" for yourself and the things you'd like to do, you're going to have to get a whole lot more demanding. I'm sure you're a very nice person, but unfortunately, too nice can mean that you're treated like a doormat, and it sounds like that may be the case here. Your dh sounds like he's basically a good guy, but that he may be somewhat clueless as to how it feels to be stuck at home while he's out having fun (whether it's work-related or not.) I think you really need to be more assertive and to tell your dh that you're a wife and a mom, but you're also a woman who needs to get out and have some fun sometimes. Let him watch the kids so you can GO OUT... and do it at least once a week, even if it's only for an hour or two. I think your dh needs to learn to appreciate you and all that you do for him and the kids, and if he spends time alone with the kids, he will start to realize that your life is a whole lot harder than he thinks it is. And if you need a maid, hire one. Edited October 27, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I now take one night a week for myself. It's become necessary. It seems like a luxury, but remember, we are on call 24/7/365. 2-3 hours a week can help. It took many meltdowns for DH to realize they were a necessity. The meltdowns were not me whining to him or anything. I kept putting off my night because I thought I should be strong enough to not need them. Eventually I would crash and burn. He started insisting and I got a lot better. Do what you need to do.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 This is what works for us: Once a month I rent the clubhouse of our trailer court (for $10) and I go sew or scrapbook. Once a month is not unreasonable to ask. My friends are invited to join me for creative time, but often I am the only one there. I make it clear that it is a "no kids" event, unless you are specifically crafting WITH your kids. I lock up at lunchtime, and make an "emergency run" to Joann's Fabrics or Hobby Lobby, and I get a yummy burrito from Fighting Burrito. If Loverboy needs me in the meantime (the toddler is still nursing), I am just a phonecall and a 5-minute-walk away. I can run home to take care of the baby, and be back in less than 30 minutes. ------------------- What will work for you? Some women are part of a creative circle through their church. I know my sister would go every Thursday night to her church for crafting. (She always took along ironing because that is what relaxed her. :w00t: ) Do you belong to a church that could/would start an activity like that? Would it work for you to take a day off once a month to go to a movie, eat lots of popcorn and soda pop, and spend the rest of the day reading in quiet bliss at the library? Would it work for you to ask your dh to take the kids once a month to the zoo or science center or park plus pizza to give you 3-4 hours uninterrupted at home? Oooo! You could take a nap!!! In any case, it's time for you to negotiate for a certain amount of recreational time for yourself at least once a month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebacabunch Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I think you are burned out. When you are jealous because dh went to a steak house with family after a FUNERAL you need a break. You should be taking time by yourself every week. I love spending time with dh. I also need time where I can go to a movie, gym, etc all by myself. I am a lot nicer too! My whole family knows that friday night is mom's night off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Between work dinners/lunches and TDYs (business trips), etc. my husband has his fair share of nice dinners, time without children, adventures doing different things, etc. He always says we'll do something nice when he gets home, but that usually means fast food or something because we have kids and its cheaper. His grandpa died, so he flew to Utah for the funeral for the weekend. He is eating at some steakhouse with his family. We had beef stroganoff for dinner that I cooked, and wrangled kids at the table to eat, and then I cleaned. :glare: I would just go out with friends, but really? I don't have any good friends and he's the one I want to spend my time with anyway. He will sleep through the night tonight. Chances are good that I won't. Bummer... Are you sure that your DH is not my DH??????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I think you really need to be more assertive and to tell your dh that you're a wife and a mom, but you're also a woman who needs to get out and have some fun sometimes. Let him watch the kids so you can GO OUT... and do it at least once a week, even if it's only for an hour or two. I think your dh needs to learn to appreciate you and all that you do for him and the kids, and if he spends time alone with the kids, he will start to realize that your life is a whole lot harder than he thinks it is. I now take one night a week for myself. It's become necessary. It seems like a luxury, but remember, we are on call 24/7/365. 2-3 hours a week can help. It took many meltdowns for DH to realize they were a necessity. The meltdowns were not me whining to him or anything. I kept putting off my night because I thought I should be strong enough to not need them. Eventually I would crash and burn. He started insisting and I got a lot better. Do what you need to do.:grouphug: :iagree: and :grouphug: It's hard when the littles are little and the DH is clueless. Mine was (sometimes still is). He would come home and find me looking like a deer in headlights and didn't understand that an hour at Starbucks wasn't a luxury, it was a necessity. I get relief now and it's made me a better mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 That's been my life, too. Irregular phone calls (when he was in a remote area on the other side of the world working 16-hour shifts), not hearing from him at all for months at a time (when he was in the Navy), having him work from 6:00 in the morning until 6:00 at night when he was at home, having him call up bragging about the delicious food he was eating while the kids and I ate grilled cheese sandwiches. Let's not forget his nine-month-long stay in Switzerland a couple of years ago when he working on a treaty. We almost never heard from him. We have NO relatives who are close enough to want to hear from us or have us visit them. The very worst part of it was when he would arrive home and instantly announce that he was exhausted, suffering from jet lag, or coming down with strep throat. He would sleep for days and then wake up wondering why no one was thrilled to see him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I think you are burned out. When you are jealous because dh went to a steak house with family after a FUNERAL you need a break. You should be taking time by yourself every week. I love spending time with dh. I also need time where I can go to a movie, gym, etc all by myself. I am a lot nicer too! My whole family knows that friday night is mom's night off. :iagree: OP, I understand how you feel; I've been there myself. :grouphug: Now that the kids are older, I don't feel so trapped anymore. But my husband used to travel sometimes, and to nice places. I was pregnant and sickly with my 2nd when he went to London and France for 10 days. Yes, he described the lovely lunches... yes, I was jealous... but what was he to do? Refuse lunch? Spend his free time in his hotel room instead of sight-seeing? I guess he could have refrained from telling me about it. Before I had kids and quit my job, I did a bit of travel too. But we made the decision when we had kids that I'd stay home and he'd be the sole earner. So, he gets the perks of being the one with a job. That's just the way it is, you know? We didn't go out for nice meals when he got home either. Getting nice meals on the company's dime didn't translate to more $$ for us to spend on our own. Talk to your husband about your feelings. Thank him for working hard for your family but that you need some breaks too, want to spend time with him, etc. Thank him also for calling/texting you while he's away. Even at inconvenient times. You don't have to respond immediately. But I know of a lot of wives who get no communication at all from traveling husbands. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) I can relate. Now that my kids are older I've started to do some more just for myself. Me too. You are in the "stay home up to your eyeballs in diapers" phase of life. Try not to get bitter about it, and enjoy as much as you can....this too shall pass! Find one thing you enjoy...a hot shower, a good book, a glass of wine of Friday night with a movie you picked...IOW, Make sure you take care of you. There will come the day where there is more time for you....but now is the time to pour yourself into your kids and home.... Oh, tell dh how you feel....that instead of doing fast food once a week, you would rather go out once a month to a really nice place, get to dress up and be his girlfriend....rather than just a quick cheap get-it-done date. Tell him you will make it worth his while:D. :grouphug: Faithe Eta: me time is at the gym. I go usually 4-5x a week and literally work my tush off. Best thing about it FREE CHILD CARE!!!!! Seriously! And hour of bliss, working on myself AND free child care ( my kids are too old for this now, but yours are perfect). Even if you go and take a looonnnngggg shower and dry your hair and put on make-up in the locker room ...lol.....it is worth the membership. I see you are expecting a little one....many gyms offer pregnancy fitness classes. You could meet other moms and enjoy your grown up time too.....just an idea.... Edited October 27, 2012 by Mommyfaithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 I understand! My DH has been getting to travel internationally for the last few years. Usually, I try not to let it bother me, but last year, when he went to Vienna, which in on my list of the top three places I'd like to see, I had a hard time being nice to him. And I know it's not his fault, and it's not all fun, because it's work, but it's hard to always be the one left behind, always doing the usual stuff, when he's having adventures. At least he brought a Sacher Torte home... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Your kids are young. Those are very draining ages. Any chance you could get a sitter and have a date night once in awhile? It sounds like that is what you'd really enjoy. I could go out with other women, but like you I don't really have a lot of people in that category and don't really prefer that anyway. This is exactly what it is. My kids are young. The youngest was very draining yesterday. And they're good kids! They help out. But there's only so much I can ask of them, you know? I'm not resentful because he had a nice meal with his family. Not at all. It's not his fault his grandfather passed. (FTR, everybody was rejoicing that he went and so peacefully. He was 96 or so.) I'm happy he enjoyed a steak. I just would've liked one too. LOL We could get a babysitter, but we wouldn't go anywhere that we've never brought the kids. And they're good kids. Maybe we'd go to dinner...or to a movie (but there are no movies out that I want to pay to go see). And then we have to pay to get a sitter. We have no family close by to drop the kids with for an occasional run to where ever. I'd love to hire a maid, but finances just aren't there. BUT...I think today we're going to pick up the house and eat out for lunch. Even if it is McDonald's. :D I really don't mind being with my kids. I just miss my best friend and want to be there experiencing what he is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Can you possibly go with him? DH travels several times a year for work, and at least 1x, when he goes to Atlanta (actually, Alpharetta), DD and I go with him. His company pays for the hotel, so the only extra cost for bringing us is meals and, if we fly, transportation (and since that's only one leg each way, usually he has enough frequent flier miles to pay for it). We leave Friday night, spend Sat-Sun doing stuff in the area as a family, and then DD and I spend M-W enjoying the hotel pool and having two TVs with cable, go to the American Girl store for "tea", go to the great Homeschool store where DD usually finds someone to play with and I find someone to talk to, and generally have a good time. We eat dinner out as a family, and since DH's meal reimbursement covers his meal, we can afford to go somewhere fancier than we would at home, and at least one night, one of DH's co-workers in the Atlanta office bribes her 15 yr old with pizza to keep her younger DD and our DD while the four adults (plus anyone else from the office who is available) go out for a nice dinner. It's wonderful! I'm starting to get excited because DH's boss asked him, in their weekly Skype meeting, when he was coming out next, so we're aiming for either the last week in November, right after Thanksgiving, or the first week in December. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 And if you need a maid, hire one. Not everyone can afford that. Yes, being the one to stay home all day every day with kids is exhausting. It's easy to get frustrated. I am not supposed to eat at restaurants at all per doctor's orders. At least for now. So when my dh goes out to eat with friends and co-workers while I have to cook every single meal I eat....I can get bitter. It's just unfair. It's not dh's fault. It's not my fault. It just sucks. He just started a new job and he may begin traveling more. I've already told him that if I want to join him I reserve the right to do so with or without kids. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Can you possibly go with him? DH travels several times a year for work, and at least 1x, when he goes to Atlanta (actually, Alpharetta), DD and I go with him. His company pays for the hotel, so the only extra cost for bringing us is meals and, if we fly, transportation (and since that's only one leg each way, usually he has enough frequent flier miles to pay for it). We've done this. Dh had training in Pensacola and we went with. My kids were 8, 5, and not quite 1 at the time. The kids and I hung out on the beach and the pool while dh was working. Then in the evening we went out. It was a fun week. Well, with the exception of my 5 yr old breaking his nose because he jumped off the hotel bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) Two things: When Dh's salary went up, mine did, too. He doesn't have to travel much but he does some. He has dinner meetings at fancy restaurants. He goes golfing and to football games with his job. We transfer with his job because that is the way to earn a higher salary. We both grew up poor, so we were both tightwads for years. I finally told Dh that my "raises" were proportional to his. It is nice to have money in the bank (and we do), but if buying something or doing something is within our budget, I am free to spend the money on fun stuff for the kids and me to do. I get out of the house for fun while he is at work. This balances the perks enormously. Yes, I still have the kids (and they affected my freedom much more even two years ago). I get together with friends. We stop for ice cream. We go to events. Sometimes the kids and I visit my family for a week. Dh really hates to miss this because he loves spending time with my family. I don't do it to spite him. We both agree that it makes sense to do this once or twice a year so that we can go without him taking vacation days. Just like eating out at fancy restaurants is part of his job, actively encouraging relationships with family and friends in the community is mine. And: You've got a bunch of little kids right now. I used to comfort myself that eventually those little kids would be big kids. Instead of working myself ragged keeping up with diapers, dishes and laundry, the kids would be able to help and then it would be easy and fun to do things together. Life with the littles can be hard - but I'm going to have a ball with my teenagers. And Dh will still be at work. Edited October 27, 2012 by Meriwether Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 :grouphug: :nopity: ;) BTDT : / :iagree: except currenting going through it...welcome to my world as well!:D And I only have two kiddos...though it feels like 4 or 5 or 6.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TGHEALTHYMOM Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 :grouphug: God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. HALT: NEVER GET TOO: HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY TIRED You need time for YOU! MOPS : Mothers of Preschoolers is a great group to join if you have one close by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Your needs are valid; you and your dh need to make time out together a priority. BTDT. It is truly a season of life and will pass, but that doesn't negate your current situational needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 There is a "mommy" group at our church that is wonderful and the moms switch out daycare to keep it free. I wish such a thing had existed at our church when I was a young mom. Can you start taking your kids to mom groups, story time activities, other places to make friends with moms your own age and start trading off some mom time? Also, I have been there so I can talk, it isn't healthy to depend so much on your dh especially when he travels so much. It will be easier to make new friends than you think if you start getting out. I remember that other moms were always so happy to talk at the park when my kiddos were little. You will see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 This is exactly what it is. My kids are young. The youngest was very draining yesterday. And they're good kids! They help out. But there's only so much I can ask of them, you know? I'm not resentful because he had a nice meal with his family. Not at all. It's not his fault his grandfather passed. (FTR, everybody was rejoicing that he went and so peacefully. He was 96 or so.) I'm happy he enjoyed a steak. I just would've liked one too. LOL We could get a babysitter, but we wouldn't go anywhere that we've never brought the kids. And they're good kids. Maybe we'd go to dinner...or to a movie (but there are no movies out that I want to pay to go see). And then we have to pay to get a sitter. We have no family close by to drop the kids with for an occasional run to where ever. I'd love to hire a maid, but finances just aren't there. BUT...I think today we're going to pick up the house and eat out for lunch. Even if it is McDonald's. :D I really don't mind being with my kids. I just miss my best friend and want to be there experiencing what he is! I hear what you are saying, and I understand, but it does sound like the cumulative imbalance is starting to wear on you. And that's worth fixing now. Hire a babysitter. Go out with DH. Even if you've taken the kids to the restaurant before, it will be different without them. Not better, necessarily, but different. Another night, leave the kids with your husband and go do something. Anything. Have you ever been to a movie by yourself? Try it! Or call someone you'd like to get to know better and invite her to meet you for dessert. Do you have a friend or relative you would love to see but who lives far away? Take a weekend trip to visit. I have learned that taking heed when these feelings of discontent are small is key to being able to cheerfully support DH when he is off having fun. Motherhood is wonderful, but so are other parts of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Having had five kids in 8.5 years, I completely understand where you are. It's a bad mental place to be. The best I could ever do was create space in my day away from the kids. Kinda like a mini-vacation. I would utilize the TV, parks, McDonald's play area, whatever. Knowing that my dh would rather be home with kids helped a little. I knew he didn't want to travel. He didn't want to miss milestones and birthdays. He didn't want to sleep in a strange bed and eat restaurant food all the time. He wanted to be home with his family with sticky kisses and dirty butts. Knowing that he was sacrificing in his own way made my sacrifice doable. Isn't it ironic that the grass is always greener? I was the working parent for 3 years while dh stayed home. In all that time I traveled, ate at restaurants, used the toilet by myself, went to the doctor whenever I wanted, talked to adults, and stretched my mind....but I just wanted to be home. Dh was at home wanting all the things I had. Now we have switched roles, and we both miss the best of what we had before. I think life would be a perfect balance if we each worked part-time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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