Lovedtodeath Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Discuss. Especially if you disagree, since this list is anything but unique. http://www.homeschoolconvention.com/blog/top-ten-ways-to-ruin-your-kids-for-life/ There are all types of lists for parents. If you want a list to ruin your kids forever, here’s a list for you. 1. Give your kid everything he wants. Don’t deny what will truly make him happy. Overvalue money and things in his eyes. 2. Dress your child in designer clothes, no matter the cost. Show her that her outward appearance matters most of all. 3. Place your child’s needs over that of your spouse’s. If he cries, run to him immediately. If he interrupts, give him your full attention. 4. Entertain your child throughout the day. If she wants to play tea, put your plans aside. If she wants to watch her favorite movie for the 100th time, forget your idea for going for a walk and getting some sunshine. 5. Plan your menu around your child’s desires. No child should have to eat something he doesn’t like. If, by chance, you want to make something other than macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly, feel free to cook your own meal, just as long as you have time to fix what your child likes. 6. Sign your child up for as many extracurricular activities as she desires, even if it means giving up your evening plans on a regular basis. Don’t worry about trying to gather around the dinner table either. He can only be in the Junior Soccer League for so long, and you don’t want him to miss out. 7. Don’t discipline your child when she acts up. Everyone should learn to express herself in her own way. If she demands something, then applaud her efforts. At least you know that she will not be a pushover or a doormat in this world. 8. Don’t worry when your child fights with neighbor kids or even when he is a bully. Life is not fair and someone always has to be the underdog. At least your child is learning to elbow his way to the top at a young age. 9. When your child has a disagreement with her teacher, always choose your child’s side. Don’t show up when the teacher wants to discuss your child’s problems. The teacher will want to take a course of disciplinary action and that’ll hurt your child’s feelings. 10. Don’t share your faith with your child. After all, you don’t want to offend. Give your child the option if she wants to hear Bible stories and don’t pressure her to memorize Scripture verses. She might get disheartened if she doesn’t get it right the first time and you’ll ruin her self-esteem. More than that, you don’t want her to know there’s a God who runs the universe, makes the rules, and determines eternity. The thought is too hard and your child might not understand. More than that, she won’t be self-dependent and strive to be a good person. Do you see your parenting shine in any of these areas? Congratulations! You’re on your way to succeeding at your goal. Keep up the good work and you’ll have a very happy child … and just take a moment to consider what type of an adult your child will grow up to be–one that will stand out about the crowd, without a doubt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yup, ruining my kids by not giving them a god. Because of course, atheists are materialistic hedonists and are worthy of contempt for their utter lack of a moral framework. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yup, ruining my kids by not giving them a god. Because of course, atheists are materialistic hedonists and are worthy of contempt for their utter lack of a moral framework. *sigh* Sharing your beliefs or faith doesn't mean that you are giving them a god. It just means that whatever it is that you believe in, you are sharing with them. I struggle with signing my kids up for too many activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Sharing your beliefs or faith doesn't mean that you are giving them a god. It just means that whatever it is that you believe in, you are sharing with them. Sure. More than that, you don’t want her to know there’s a God who runs the universe, makes the rules, and determines eternity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I've been thoroughly chastised before about putting my kids' evening activities ahead of a sit-down, home-cooked family dinner. :D I do think most on that list is just common sense. But I would add: teach your kids there is only one right way to do things. (And that seems to be something the makers of the list should give some thought to.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think the list is pretty accurate, and I say that from experience and having to spend time undoing the damage from some of those things mentioned (not all, thankfully). Just my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I'm not impressed with the list. :glare: Obviously, every single item on that list is taken to the extreme, and that's why I wouldn't take any of it seriously. I think the person who wrote the list is quite judgmental. I know the list is meant to be sarcastic, but some of it just comes across as snotty and "sour grapes." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I posted this a long time ago and there were quite a few people it ticked it! But I still agree with it anyway :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Again, this is one person saying how his way is the best way at raising children. What is right for his family isn't always right for other families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Mostly, that just makes me roll my eyes. My parents did several of those things and neither my brother or I are "ruined for life". Honestly? There are a lot of different ways to do things. Most will not ruin your kids unless you get pretty extreme. And point #10 is absolutely a slam to atheists and our immoral ways. The bolded bit might have been ok, but the clarification makes it clear that without a god, my kids will be ruined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I don't think anybody's parenting philosophy can be summed up by something someone wrote on the back of an envelope. Parenting is a complicated business that involved multiple people with individual personalities. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I'm not impressed with the list. :glare: Obviously, every single item on that list is taken to the extreme, and that's why I wouldn't take any of it seriously. I think the person who wrote the list is quite judgmental. I know the list is meant to be sarcastic, but some of it just comes across as snotty and "sour grapes." :iagree:To me it reads like deliberate ignorance, and that drives me bananas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I tend to stay away from these kinds of threads -- the list - meh -- I was done a great disservice or whatever you would call it by my mom -- she taught me there was always only ONE CORRECT decision or choice. Not in important matters, mind you -- but, in matters of clothing, neighborhoods, cars, decorating (I kid you not). Being taught that those decisions were CRUCIAL groomed me into a very shallow young person who also thought that those things were MOST IMPORTANT. It took me years to learn that Baskin-Robbins makes how ever many different flavors because different people like different things. Choosing one sofa or one outfit over another means NOTHING! I hope that I demonstrate to my children 24/7 that it is the 'heart' that matters -- and we won't get to learn the heart of someone without becoming blind to the other stuff and listening to the individual. I'm not even sure if I have said that correctly, but it's the best I can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Sure. Sorry about that, I really need to slow down with my reading through things. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It's mostly not horrible advice, though I do take exception to a couple of those. However, the title is absurd. Ruin your kids for life by planning menus they'll eat? Maybe not the best lesson in life, but I can't imagine it would RUIN a child's life. Please. I'm unimpressed by the hyperbole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Mostly, that just makes me roll my eyes. My parents did several of those things and neither my brother or I are "ruined for life". Honestly? There are a lot of different ways to do things. Most will not ruin your kids unless you get pretty extreme. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It's hit or miss. I know some lovely, caring children who wear designer clothing and some selfish brats who don't. :D I think #4 is very, very crucial, but I disagree with #6 as a blanket statement. Evening involvement, with our dc, has been a huge blessing here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Sorry about that, I really need to slow down with my reading through things. :001_smile: :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 :iagree:To me it reads like deliberate ignorance, and that drives me bananas. This. I read it this morning and was really turned off. The title of 9 and subline do not even go together or make sense. I am sure it is meant to be tongue and cheek, but anyone who thinks about others in that way just doesn't get it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I don't think anybody's parenting philosophy can be summed up by something someone wrote on the back of an envelope. Parenting is a complicated business that involved multiple people with individual personalities. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. :iagree: Yeah, but if we believe the list, as long as you don't buy your kids what they want, pay attention to them, try to feed them foods they like, or drive them places, they will turn out to be fine and wonderful people. :rolleyes: It sounds to me like the author of the list has some envy issues, and she's trying to justify her feelings by believing that those awful "spoiled" kids will all turn out rotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I've been thoroughly chastised before about putting my kids' evening activities ahead of a sit-down, home-cooked family dinner. :D I do think most on that list is just common sense. But I would add: teach your kids there is only one right way to do things. (And that seems to be something the makers of the list should give some thought to.) :iagree: I do think when homeschooling my extroverted and high energy kids, we were subconsciously making a choice to do more activities for them. My kids eat a relaxed breakfast and lunch at home with me. So if we don't sit down at the table every evening as a family, it's fine. I also find the various activities gives each of us some alone time with each other (my DH takes charge of some activities, it isn't unusual for DH and I to get a chunk of time where both kids are at something). Anyway, if my kids ever went back to school, we'd drop MANY activities. I'm not Christian, I'm UU. So I'm not a fan of how #10 is stated. I'd like it better if was more about values and morals and living by example. On the meal one, quick meals tend to be flexible here. Not every meal is a structured "You will eat XXX". They are progressing with table manners and willingness to try stuff. Anyway, not a huge fan of one size fit all holier than thou lists like this. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I saw this yesterday and liked it much better! https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/522023_10151195755897209_2055842564_n.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yup, ruining my kids by not giving them a god. Because of course, atheists are materialistic hedonists and are worthy of contempt for their utter lack of a moral framework. *sigh* Yup. Another *sigh* here. I'm not impressed with the list. :glare: Obviously, every single item on that list is taken to the extreme, and that's why I wouldn't take any of it seriously. I think the person who wrote the list is quite judgmental. I know the list is meant to be sarcastic, but some of it just comes across as snotty and "sour grapes." :iagree: Please. I'm unimpressed by the hyperbole. That's pretty much all it is. Hyperbole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I saw this yesterday and liked it much better! https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/522023_10151195755897209_2055842564_n.jpg I read Glennon fairly regularly -- thanks for that. My amazing kid is going to 8th grade in ps in two weeks -- I will miss her terribly -- am thrilled and blessed she has been home with me for three years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leav97 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 1. Give your kid everything he wants. 2. Dress your child in designer clothes, no matter the cost. 4. Entertain your child throughout the day. 6. Sign your child up for as many extracurricular activities as she desires, even if it means giving up your evening plans on a regular basis. 7. Don’t discipline your child when she acts up. 8. Don’t worry when your child fights with neighbor kids or even when he is a bully. Taken to an extreme, yeah probably not a good idea. 3. Place your child’s needs over that of your spouse’s. Depends a lot on the age of the child. 5. Plan your menu around your child’s desires. I don't want to eat food I don't like and my kids are the same way. Not every meal is something they love but, they do try new things and I try to make sure there is something they like at every meal. 9. When your child has a disagreement with her teacher, always choose your child’s side. This is another item that when taken to an extreme is an issue. Who's going to take your child's side if your not willing. Should the teacher always be right? 10. Don’t share your faith with your child. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It's mostly not horrible advice, though I do take exception to a couple of those. However, the title is absurd. Ruin your kids for life by planning menus they'll eat? Maybe not the best lesson in life, but I can't imagine it would RUIN a child's life. Please. I'm unimpressed by the hyperbole. Also the designer clothes. My kids don't generally wear designer clothes, but I know kids who do. I may think they are absurdly overpriced, but I don't think the kids are being ruined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Well I know a few families that do raise their children this way. This is my niece with the exception of 8 and 10. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thank you. I really hated this list and just wanted some commiseration. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Wow mine are probably pretty screwed up by now :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 I tend to stay away from these kinds of threads -- the list - meh -- I was done a great disservice or whatever you would call it by my mom -- she taught me there was always only ONE CORRECT decision or choice. Not in important matters, mind you -- but, in matters of clothing, neighborhoods, cars, decorating (I kid you not). Being taught that those decisions were CRUCIAL groomed me into a very shallow young person who also thought that those things were MOST IMPORTANT. It took me years to learn that Baskin-Robbins makes how ever many different flavors because different people like different things. Choosing one sofa or one outfit over another means NOTHING! I hope that I demonstrate to my children 24/7 that it is the 'heart' that matters -- and we won't get to learn the heart of someone without becoming blind to the other stuff and listening to the individual. I'm not even sure if I have said that correctly, but it's the best I can do. :iagree:Yes. This was my mom too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 I saw this yesterday and liked it much better! https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/522023_10151195755897209_2055842564_n.jpg :iagree:THANK YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 :iagree: Yeah, but if we believe the list, as long as you don't buy your kids what they want, pay attention to them, try to feed them foods they like, or drive them places, they will turn out to be fine and wonderful people. :rolleyes: It sounds to me like the author of the list has some envy issues, and she's trying to justify her feelings by believing that those awful "spoiled" kids will all turn out rotten. Yeah, it's not like doing the exact opposite is going to turn your kids into stellar adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yeah, it's not like doing the exact opposite is going to turn your kids into stellar adults.Or that you'll continue to have a mutually loving relationship with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thank you. I really hated this list and just wanted some commiseration. :D :lol: I love that you posted this knowing that plenty of people here wouldn't like it either. My parents had more money when raising my (much-younger) little sister and she was raised with many of those things on the list (not the bullying one). She was raised without religion, without punishment, but with nice clothes, got a new car when she turned 16, did whatever extra-currics she wanted, etc. Meals were very flexible, she was a picky eater. In high school she was heavily involved with volunteer orgs, becoming the president of her school's Interact club, working every year on Relay for Life and volunteering regularly at a safe house for teens. She also did phone banking and other political work during the 2004 election. In college she continued volunteer work, helping the local community and doing recruitment for Teach for America. After graduation she did Teach for America herself, teaching physics and biology on the south side of Chicago. Too bad my parents ruined her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thank you. I really hated this list and just wanted some commiseration. :D Troll! Troll! I call Troll! Troublemaker :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Meh. There are a cpl of basic ideas I agree w/, but I don't think it's rocket science to realize that indulging someone in every little thing they want and teaching anyone that they are the centre of the Universe isn't likely in their best interest. Once again, common sense is my super power. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I like the list. Clearly it's hyperbole, but taken together it means (to me) "Make sure your kid knows the world doesn't revolve around him." I think a lot of kids need that lesson today. My kids have a great life, but they also know that the world doesn't exist to serve them, and, in fact, quite the opposite: they exist to serve the world. (Now, before anyone freaks out, I don't mean my kids are little slaves; I mean serve in the "make the world a better place" sense.) That's one of the key values in our home. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) 2. Dress your child in designer clothes, no matter the cost. Show her that her outward appearance matters most of all. Wait. Does than mean no more cute Mini Boden? Please, just one more year, when she will probably size out of the Mini catalog. That I will start raising her right. Edited August 23, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yeah, it's not like doing the exact opposite is going to turn your kids into stellar adults. That is so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (Now, before anyone freaks out, I don't mean my kids are little slaves; I mean serve in the "make the world a better place" sense.) Well, color me disappointed. :glare: I was hoping your kids really were little slaves, because maybe you'd let me borrow them for a couple of days to do some work around my house. It's not like my own kid is going to do it. I've ruined him by following the rules on some stupid list I saw on the internet. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) Yup, ruining my kids by not giving them a god. Because of course, atheists are materialistic hedonists and are worthy of contempt for their utter lack of a moral framework. *sigh* Of course, why else would I buy cute, colorful, and child-like clothing from Boden if I wasn't a total and complete materialistic hedonist. If I were a true believer, I could buy her $80 dresses and skirts from a modesty website. "No soccer for you!" Edited August 23, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yeah, it's not like doing the exact opposite is going to turn your kids into stellar adults. :iagree: So many people think it's "all about the stuff." It's not. It's "all about the attitude." You can indulge your kids as much as you'd like, whether it's with possessions or extra attention, and they can still turn out to be wonderful people if you're also teaching them things like gratefulness, honesty, morality, and good values. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I was hoping your kids really were little slaves, because maybe you'd let me borrow them for a couple of days to do some work around my house. Oh, I don't mind lending them out! Hard work builds character and all that jazz! (The kids are very into the phrase "builds character" right now. They got it from Calvin and Hobbes. Whenever one of them complains, the other says, "It builds character!!" :D ) Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think most of us want our children to give back. That's very important to us, and it doesn't have to be tied to church-going. In our house "Builds character" is often spoken as "There's no crying in baseball!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think most of us want our children to give back. That's very important to us, and it doesn't have to be tied to church-going. Of course not. We don't attend church. It would be weird if we did, as we're not Christian. ;) Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Of course not. We don't attend church. It would be weird if we did, as we're not Christian. ;) Tara I was thinking about the list. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Oh Lovedtodeath, you stinker.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think some of those things are fine in moderation. Sometimes I do put my kids above my husband. Sometimes I do sign them up for too many activities, etc. Sometimes I do give them special meals. I don't do it all the time, but sometimes. I wish they had added, "Use baby talk with your child. Speak to them in the 3rd person as often as possible. People will think it's adorable when your special snowflake speaks like Elmo." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Of course, why else would I buy cute, colorful, and child-like clothing from Boden if I wasn't a total and complete materialistic hedonist. If I were a true believer, I could buy her $80 dresses and skirts from a modesty website. "No soccer for you!" :lol::lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think most of us want our children to give back. That's very important to us, and it doesn't have to be tied to church-going. In our house "Builds character" is often spoken as "There's no crying in baseball!" Nor does it have to be tied to clothing choices, eating food you dislike, eating dinner at home every night, or how much your parents ignore you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.