"you talk about homeschool on your FB page..."

[audreyt]

1st- Hi! I'm 'new'! I read a lot, but seldom post!

But I need some support, or just someone who understands.

 

I am pretty active on FB. Who isn't these days?!

 

I mention homeschooling a bit in my posts. It's me. It's who I am right now. I have 4 kids (8, 5, 3, 1).

 

My day consists of homeschooling, changing cloth diapers, breast feeding the baby, cooking, cleaning, errands and being the mom and wife God has called me to be.

 

I'd say once a month I offend someone with a homeschool comic or last night's post of: "My kid doesn't know who the Jonas Brothers are. Thank you homeschooling."

 

As always, I never intend to offend my public schooling friends. But on the other hand, her not knowing the 'Jo Bros' IS a result of HS. She isn't slammed with pop culture. (And I think that's a good thing!)

 

I clearly could have written: "My kid doesn't know...." without the homeschooling bit. But we had a homeschool friend over-who also didn't know. So, I added the homeschooling part. :001_huh:

 

Anyway...after 20 comments that started the typical HS vs PS debate it's brought up that "I refer to HS too much because I want a rise out of people." :glare:

 

I'd say my "friend" list is 50/50 of PS and HS attenders.

 

When I write posts or share articles about HS it's because I relate to them and my other HS friends might too. And when I write anything about our school day or our HS group it's because it's ME. It's my life. It's my FB page.

 

And I really feel like telling my "friends" this is me. Take me or leave me. Because I'm not trying to start a debate. I'm just sharing about my day and my life.

 

I can normally take the comments in stride. But my best friend said a few nasty remarks today about my choosing to HS (after my Jo Bros post) so maybe I'm just a little hurt today and feeling vulnerable.

[dirty ethel rackham]

The only thing I would change is stop responding to people who want to debate homeschooling. I have no problem with being who you are on FB. If you don't want arguments, don't participate. It sounds like the people who comment on your posts are looking to get a rise out of you, not the other way around. I'd have to say that a best friend would not leave nasty remarks. I'd confront her in person to ask her why she is so defensive about her choice to send her kids to school. If you can't find a way to meet somewhere in the middle, I'd reconsider her status as a "bestie."

[starwarsmomma]

I dont mention HS'ing at all, because Im the ONLY homeschooler in my area that I know!

 

Once a year or so, I make a comment about some field trip or something, but people get so snarky about it, that I usually don't bother at all.

 

As a result, people on facebook rarely know the "true" me/my family... Kinda sad, but it is what it is.

[linders]

Ignore them. Really. I make the same kind of comments to people in real life. Is it really different than PS friends posting pics of all their darlings on the first day back at school and and telling how they themselves are now running off to the gym/coffee shop for some "me time"? I might be a bit envious of them but not offended.

[Alenee]

I hear you. :grouphug:

 

I noticed the ages of your children though and that brought up what I've recently been dealing with. At least two friends that I know of (one hs'er and one ps'er) stopped being my friend because when I began homeschooling, they felt my constant chatter about it meant that I thought I was better than them. Now, boundaries are necessary here (they could've spoken to me about it) however, I thought back on those first few years of homeschooling and realized I probably DID think I was better than them. Shame on me.

 

I rarely post on fb about "My kids.......because of homeschooling," because I respect others' decisions NOT to homeschool. I can be thankful for my homeschooling without shoving it on others. KWIM? I think when you are going to post something on fb, you need to "know your audience" and decide whether or not it's worth ruffling feathers. If you're confident in your choice, you need not make it a big deal. I try to follow this guideline, "Just because I have an opinion doesn't mean I need to share it." And now, that being said, I hope this didn't come off as offensive because I've btdt.

[Happy]

Pre-FB days, I still lost a good friend over our decision to homeschool. Some friends cannot handle it.

 

I would post about HSing because it is a part of your family life, then as DER suggested, do not engage in arguments. Pass the FB beandip and move on. Eventually most of your friends will be homeschoolers so it won't be as big an issue. If you post about field trips, learning adventures, and fun activities, people will see what a cool thing HSing is.

 

If it helps any, I was unfriended by a Christian, homeschool, adoptive mom who I had gone to church with for a few years (but not currently.) I'm all those adjectives, too, but she posted a very judgmental and rude remark on one of my updates (not the first time either). When I called her on it, she unfriended me. Whew, what a relief. I don't have to fit into her idea of life anymore.

Edited August 16, 2012 by Happy

[vonfirmath]

"But on the other hand, her not knowing the 'Jo Bros' IS a result of HS. She isn't slammed with pop culture. (And I think that's a good thing!)"

 

Maybe, maybe not.

 

I grew up in public schools and STILL managed to know almost NOTHING about pop culture. And I'm sure there are homeschooled students who are up on the latest bands, and such. So it has as much to do with family environment and the personality of the kid in question as how the kid is schooled.

[Joanne]

A few things. I personally believe that my FB page is mine. If you don't agree with me, don't post on MY FB page. Ignore me. Unfriend me. Whatever. A FB page is not a forum.

 

The other thing, though, is that when I was a new homeschooler and mother of littles, I *did* have an agenda. Sharing about *homeschooling* is one thing. Making a statement that is, in fact, a judgment is another. I held onto having to prove something in my homeschooling, held onto making a statement.

 

FB wasn't a factor in my early years of homeschooling. It came along after I lost "homeschooling" as part of my identity and self-definition.

 

If you post judgment, expect overt or covert reactions. You can't have it both ways. You can't express judgment and attitude and expect a neutral response.

 

Now, as a mother of 3 teens (one nearly a legal adult), I see my earlier years with a slightly jaundiced eye. My kids are *very* pop culture saavy. And a lot of great things, also, in terms of values, behavior, character and academics. It's no longer black and white for me.

[Hwin]

I try to balance things out.

 

"You know your kid is homeschooled when they (something precocious). Oh crap, better get off facebook to remove my pantsless child from neighbor's yard."

[kristi26]

I try to balance things out.

 

"You know your kid is homeschooled when they (something precocious). Oh crap, better get off facebook to remove my pantsless child from neighbor's yard."

 

:lol: LOVE this!

[freeindeed]

Ignore them. Really. I make the same kind of comments to people in real life. Is it really different than PS friends posting pics of all their darlings on the first day back at school and and telling how they themselves are now running off to the gym/coffee shop for some "me time"? I might be a bit envious of them but not offended.

 

:iagree:

Your intent was not to be confrontational. Don't worry about it.:)

[UnsinkableKristen]

Just remember, posting something on fb isn't like writing it in your diary or saying it in front of a group of close friends. It's the equivalent to standing on a stage at a crowded party and saying it into the mike.

 

You have the right to say whatever you want, you don't have the right to have everyone agree with you. Know your audience and understand the forum you are using. And if you don't want fb drama, don't post things that you know cause it.:001_smile:

[Dmmetler]

I post about what we do-they post about what their DC does at school, getting on honor roll, getting awards for good behavior, and so on. I don't see it as any different. I don't post the "Homeschooling is better than PS because"-because not everyone has a family situation that lets homeschooling work for them. But I do post the results when DD has done something that I feel is worthy of sharing-and DD will now sometimes bring me a picture she's drawn or a story she's written and ASK me to share it on FB :).

[Library Momma]

I know many people who homeschool and many who many who take advantage of ps. I see both camps on fb every day. The only time I ever see controversy or people getting offended is when one side makes an assumption about the other. I've often found myself getting slightly miffed in those situations as well. Think about what you posted. You essentially said that all kids in public schools are immersed in pop culture -a stereotype no? What if a parent wrote that a homeschooled child would never know who Michael Phelps is?

[amy g.]

I also try to be mindful of what I post. I really do not want to offend any of my friends. That is why they are friends because I care about them.

 

I think it is funny that my oldest has started monitoring my Facebook comments. She forbade me to post on the hot topic of raising goat height restrictions.

 

When I questioned her, she said that since we share a last name, and her company is listed on my Facebook page, what I say is also a reflection on her.

 

I went along with her request but she never said I couldn't like the comments of other people who were free to post.

 

She does have a point though. Being out spoken might not be the safest way to win friends and influence people.

Edited August 16, 2012 by amy g.
Weird random smilie.

[marbel]

Wow, the only time I get grief on FB is when I post something political.

 

That said, I am pretty neutral when I post something about homeschooling. I find it annoying when anyone, homeschooler or "regular" schooler, posts stuff like report card/standardized test results, percentiles, stuff like that. Mostly I post about fun things we are doing and occasionally make a slightly sarcastic comment about PA homeschool laws. ;)

 

I try to maintain a persona that presents homeschooling and homeschoolers in a positive way to nonhomeschoolers and skeptics. I don't mean that I am not myself! But I keep my "homeschool is better" thoughts to myself. ;)

 

My daughter knows all the pop stars now. Doesn't mean she likes them! :lol::lol:

[Soror]

Just remember, posting something on fb isn't like writing it in your diary or saying it in front of a group of close friends. It's the equivalent to standing on a stage at a crowded party and saying it into the mike.

 

You have the right to say whatever you want, you don't have the right to have everyone agree with you. Know your audience and understand the forum you are using. And if you don't want fb drama, don't post things that you know cause it.:001_smile:

 

:iagree:

[Jennifer3141]

What if a parent wrote that a homeschooled child would never know who Michael Phelps is?

 

 

That would be true in my house! :lol::lol:

 

The Olympics passed us by entirely. My kids know about ancient Greece's runner but yeah, none of my kids watched a moment of the Olympics this year.

[bobbeym]

To the OP, I agree with what pp have said. It's YOUR FB so post what you want and ignore them. To me it sounded like you meant to be a little snarky but still thankful in what you posted, and I do see how that could be misconstrued by others. Not that it would have (or has) stopped me from posting similiar thoughts. :lol:

 

I'm not sure if it's the circle around us or just our attitudes about it, but I'm so very thankful that most people are supportive of our decision. We've had a few naysayers, but we just remind them that it's our kid and we know what's best for him at this stage of his life, and thus we're homeschooling our way through high school.

[kb44]

Just remember, posting something on fb isn't like writing it in your diary or saying it in front of a group of close friends. It's the equivalent to standing on a stage at a crowded party and saying it into the mike.

 

You have the right to say whatever you want, you don't have the right to have everyone agree with you. Know your audience and understand the forum you are using. And if you don't want fb drama, don't post things that you know cause it.:001_smile:

 

Agree, agree, agree! I would find a homeschool group, where you can post fun things, and have others agree, more so, with you. Hot topics on facebook are asking for conflict, and although I homeschool, I would not post such comments, because I think they can be offensive to my ps friends.

 

I also disagree that because your children are hs, that is the ONLY reason they are not up on pop culture. That to me, is more of a family sheltering issue. My kids did attend ps, but we did not have cable, and that really helped shelter them, but we have hs friends who teach them pop culture things that have not been exposed to.

Edited August 16, 2012 by kb44

[Library Momma]

That would be true in my house! :lol::lol:

 

The Olympics passed us by entirely. My kids know about ancient Greece's runner but yeah, none of my kids watched a moment of the Olympics this year.

 

Pop κουλτούρα - That's Pop Culture in Greek! :)

[Jennifer3141]

Pop κουλτούρα - That's Pop Culture in Greek! :)

 

 

I mentioned to my kids in passing that the Olympics were going on and my DS' response was, "Who died running?" That was a little moment where I realized how out of touch we are simply because we do have cable TV or network TV.

[Kathryn]

I try to remember that statements don't always come across the way they're intended online. And also, as stated above, just because a witty comment runs through my head doesn't mean I need to post it. That said, if you post something on FB, you need to be prepared for people to be offended and to argue about it. I don't really get why people feel the need to do that, but they do. I don't think I'd consider someone my "best friend" who did so. My best friend should know me well enough to know how the statement was intended.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'd say once a month I offend someone with a homeschool comic or last night's post of: "My kid doesn't know who the Jonas Brothers are. Thank you homeschooling."

 

I'll be frank. Your status update, IMO, smacks of the whole "Us vs Them" mentality. Quite likely you don't intend it that way, but it might be read as "SEE why what I'M doing is SO much better than what YOU are doing?". It also perpetuates the idea that homeschoolers are sheltered and backward.

 

As for the comics. . . I'll just say that I've seen plenty of them and I've chosen not to share 99% of them for the exact same reason. It would seem that a lot of homeschoolers have a really difficult time promoting homeschooling without putting down public schooling in the process. And it shouldn't be that way. It's better to assume that everyone around you is doing what they feel is best for their families, even if it happens to be different from what you would choose.

[magnificent_baby]

This is why FB annoys me. Any kind of self-congratulatory and "thank goodness I am______ or we_______, etc." statements get on my nerves really quick. One that comes to mind is a friend that posts all the time about how frugal she is, and how she can't believe some people spend what they do on clothes, groceries, vacations, etc. In a way, it is bragging or comparing yourself to whomever does not do whatever you are posting about. Hope that makes sense. That is, of course, different than being proud of yourself for accomplishing something.

 

Many, many thoughts pop into my mind throughout the day that could go along with "thank goodness for homeschooling!", but I would never type them out. In fact, I never mention hs'ing on FB purposely.

 

Sorry, OP, I think you are inviting drama when making those statements.

[audreyt]

Okay, I've counted 2 instances where I've applauded homeschooling.

 

The band reference-I had homeschooled kids over who also didn't know. In my mind I came to the conclusion that because I homeschool (and the mother of the friends over homeschool) that homeschooling was to thank.

 

Not saying that public schoolers are emersed in culture. But intending (in my mind) that as a homeschooler my kids can pick and choose what they like. My (so-called) bestie has a daughter the same age as mine and was upset when her daughter didn't want to wear bows to school in 1st grade because it wasn't "cool". My daughter isn't told what is cool or not. She likes to wear bows. She still plays with dolls and Barbie and thinks that the music she likes is awesome (even if it isn't cool with her peers.)

 

To me, I was joining the two together. My child is homeschooled and doesn't have to go with the crowd with what is cool.

 

I know I didn't portray that right when I made my post, but that's how the two connected in my mind when I wrote it.

 

My other comment I've made. We prayed at a very large homeschool field day. I was public schooled and we used to pray before lunch when I was in K-1st. I was super sad when we stopped!

But I was impressed that as a group, a large group, every child and adult bowed their head to pray before lunch.

I was impressed and amazed at the beauty of it. My post was, "So amazing to join in Homeschool Field Day and pray as a group before lunch. They stopped doing that in PS years ago."

 

Which is true. You can pray on your own quietly, but there is no more group prayer in school (not that we need to debate that now! :001_smile: ).

 

My PS friends took great offense! But really, I felt it had nothing to do with them and their choice to PS. I stated a fact. :confused:

 

Other than that my posts are kinda few (IMO) about HS. A field trip post here and there. Maybe a "working on lesson plans" post (PS teachers have the same posts).

 

I know not everyone agrees with me. They don't have to. But I'm at the point where I'm annoyed by the same 3 people who always have something negative to say.

[Wendi]

I'll be frank. Your status update, IMO, smacks of the whole "Us vs Them" mentality. Quite likely you don't intend it that way, but it might be read as "SEE why what I'M doing is SO much better than what YOU are doing?". It also perpetuates the idea that homeschoolers are sheltered and backward.

 

As for the comics. . . I'll just say that I've seen plenty of them and I've chosen not to share 99% of them for the exact same reason. It would seem that a lot of homeschoolers have a really difficult time promoting homeschooling without putting down public schooling in the process. And it shouldn't be that way. It's better to assume that everyone around you is doing what they feel is best for their families, even if it happens to be different from what you would choose.

:iagree:

 

As others have said, you are making a judgement-laden statement in a "mixed" group. You have to take responsibility for stirring the pot. Friendships go both ways. If I were you, I'd apologize for the offense, and avoid posting about why homeschooling is better to all your friends. Did you know you can select who sees your posts? Maybe make a "homeschool friends" group to post those comics and comments to.

 

Wendi

[Forget-Me-Not]

I know not everyone agrees with me. They don't have to. But I'm at the point where I'm annoyed by the same 3 people who always have something negative to say.

 

Do you know how to hide status updates from select people? Just quit sharing it with them.

[Jennifer3141]

Do you know how to hide status updates from select people? Just quit sharing it with them.

 

 

Or just delete those three. :001_smile:

[Ellie]

Yeah, you know, people say we have the right to make choices...until we make a choice which differs from theirs.

 

Don't stop posting about homeschool. Ignore snarky anti-homeschool comments. Be all sweetness and light. It's your FB page. They don't have to read your comments if they don't want to.

[Pink Fairy]

Whatever your intentions, it does sound holier-than-thou, and even as another homeschooler (whose kids don't know who the JB's are) I would have rolled my eyes at that. I also find all the thank goodness school is starting so I can have peace and quiet posts annoying. I ignore both types, or hide them if they are really irritating.

 

Maybe you could customize who sees your posts and exclude the three who are always being negative.

[Momma_Bear]

"But on the other hand, her not knowing the 'Jo Bros' IS a result of HS. She isn't slammed with pop culture. (And I think that's a good thing!)"

 

Maybe, maybe not.

 

I grew up in public schools and STILL managed to know almost NOTHING about pop culture. And I'm sure there are homeschooled students who are up on the latest bands, and such. So it has as much to do with family environment and the personality of the kid in question as how the kid is schooled.

 

:iagree: I knew nothing about pop culture when I was growing up and I was public schooled. My kids have always been homeschooled and they are up to date on pop culture.

 

I'd just make a list of the people who make remarks and hide the posts from them.

[justLisa]

Do you know how to hide status updates from select people? Just quit sharing it with them.

 

That is what I do. I recently withdrew myself from a group started by a sibling because they just like to insult and then follow everything with a smiley or a LOL. Because those symbols mean you are joking, right?

[happi duck]

Just remember, posting something on fb isn't like writing it in your diary or saying it in front of a group of close friends. It's the equivalent to standing on a stage at a crowded party and saying it into the mike.

 

You have the right to say whatever you want, you don't have the right to have everyone agree with you. Know your audience and understand the forum you are using. And if you don't want fb drama, don't post things that you know cause it.:001_smile:

 

Well said.

 

I'll be frank. Your status update, IMO, smacks of the whole "Us vs Them" mentality. Quite likely you don't intend it that way, but it might be read as "SEE why what I'M doing is SO much better than what YOU are doing?". It also perpetuates the idea that homeschoolers are sheltered and backward.

 

As for the comics. . . I'll just say that I've seen plenty of them and I've chosen not to share 99% of them for the exact same reason. It would seem that a lot of homeschoolers have a really difficult time promoting homeschooling without putting down public schooling in the process. And it shouldn't be that way. It's better to assume that everyone around you is doing what they feel is best for their families, even if it happens to be different from what you would choose.

 

I agree. Op's comment was "us vs them". Op, even listing "changing cloth diapers" sets up that same vibe. Imho, it would be worth being careful of this.

 

Btw, Jonas Bros. were homeschooled!!!

[justamouse]

Some people take your decision to homeschool very, very badly, as a personal attack on their decision to put their kids in PS. You can never do anything to help those situations.

 

I'm with Ellie, they don't have to read if they don't want to.

[Word Nerd]

I admit that only-a-homeschooler or XYZ-because-homeschooling posts annoy me because in my experience the observations rarely apply exclusively to homeschooled children. I think it's preferable to share cool things that kids do or funny things they say without any us-versus-them dynamic. But other people can say whatever they like on their Facebook wall, and I don't have to read it if it offends me. I've unfriended a few people whose posts were consistently negative and cantankerous. Still, when people post controversial things, they shouldn't feign innocence or be surprised when others react or call them on it if they think the post is unfair.

Edited August 16, 2012 by WordGirl

[Forget-Me-Not]

That is what I do. I recently withdrew myself from a group started by a sibling because they just like to insult and then follow everything with a smiley or a LOL. Because those symbols mean you are joking, right?

 

They're the internet equivalents of "Bless your heart!" :lol:

[catz]

"But on the other hand, her not knowing the 'Jo Bros' IS a result of HS. She isn't slammed with pop culture. (And I think that's a good thing!)"

 

Maybe, maybe not.

 

I grew up in public schools and STILL managed to know almost NOTHING about pop culture. And I'm sure there are homeschooled students who are up on the latest bands, and such. So it has as much to do with family environment and the personality of the kid in question as how the kid is schooled.

 

:iagree: I'm a homeschooler and I fully support homeschooling, but if one of my PS friends posted something like "thank goodness my kids go to public school. They know who the Jonas Brothers are!", I might take that as passive aggressive jab against those who aren't using PS. It's your page and use it as you see fit. But if you're going to make comments like that non-homeschoolers are going to read, it's not surprising to me that they would take it as a jab.

 

And to me a post like this is much different than saying "we're going to a museum today" or "we're baking bread now" or "I'm excited for our upcoming vacation" (that happens to come during the time most kids are in PS) or "yay - my kid won the spelling bee!". The first example above includes a value judgment IMO. The 2nd doesn't. I don't like the "us vs. them" mentality at all. Every family and child is unique. My oldest went to a highly rated PS for 2 years and there were many great kids and parents there. It just wasn't a good academic fit for this particular kid.

 

I find it useful to have my FB broken down into a couple groups (homeschools vs. everyone else mostly, but I have a couple other useful groups like close relatives who want to know what the kids are up to ad nauseum and won't feel like it's a non-stop brag fest).

[amy g.]

Once I posted about breakfast.

 

I had milked the cow and goats, gathered the eggs, ground wheat berries, churned the butter, then make pancakes. I thought it was pretty cool. I even added that the extra work made me unable to serve breakfast before 11:58.

 

It offended one of my very favorite friends who serves generic frozen waffles and sunny D for breakfast. She thought I was being holier than thou. She said, "quit your bragging" then unfriended me.

 

Fortunately she freinded me again months later and I assume I'm forgiven.

 

Needless to say I no longer post about what we eat.

 

I'll tell you guys that my kids just had broccoli and squash for breakfast, but I won't post it on Facebook!

[amydavis]

Do you know how to hide status updates from select people? Just quit sharing it with them.

 

:iagree:

Okay, I rarely make posts that are controversial, because it's mostly stuff like, "taking the kids to the dollar movie!" or "The hubby and I are going out for date night!"

 

But, I do have people in groups. I have one for WTM folks, one for local HS folks, one for family, one for close friends, one for kids (because I have some family and close friends' children as friends). That way, if I was going to post something too "grown-up," I could choose not to have it go out to the minors. I also like this because I can click on those groups I've created, and just see the wall posts from those individuals...much better than trying to cut through all the stuff that comes across my wall!

 

Just a tip!

[Cricket]

I admit that only-a-homeschooler or XYZ-because-homeschooling posts annoy me because in my experience the observations rarely apply exclusively to homeschooled children. I think it's preferable to share cool things that kids do or funny things they say without any us-versus-them dynamic. But other people can say whatever they like on their Facebook wall, and I don't have to read it if it offends me. Still, when people post controversial things, they shouldn't feign innocence or be surprised when others react or call them on it if they think the post is unfair.

 

:iagree: I tend to stay away from these kind of homeschooling posts as well. I don't shy away from homeschooling because that is what we do. I tend to post things about field trips or something crazy one of the kids said. I post about our first day of school. I don't say things like "thank goodness we homeschool because of XXXXX." I can see how that would make some people defensive. I have a lot of home schooling FB friends as well as public schooling friends (including some ps teachers) and private schooling friends. I try to stay positive and not say anything that might rile feathers.

 

And I never post anything political. I hate all the drama and "blarting" as my dh would say. :) Thankfully, for me, homeschooling has never been controversial on FB.

[catz]

Once I posted about breakfast.

 

I had milked the cow and goats, gathered the eggs, ground wheat berries, churned the butter, then make pancakes. I thought it was pretty cool. I even added that the extra work made me unable to serve breakfast before 11:58.

 

It offended one of my very favorite friends who serves generic frozen waffles and sunny D for breakfast. She thought I was being holier than thou. She said, "quit your bragging" then unfriended me.

 

Fortunately she freinded me again months later and I assume I'm forgiven.

 

Needless to say I no longer post about what we eat.

 

I'll tell you guys that my kids just had broccoli and squash for breakfast, but I won't post it on Facebook!

 

See now, I think that's a fine and valid post and your friend was wrong. It's not like you said "look what I did! Thank goodness my kids don't eat frozen waffles for breakfast!".

 

If a friend of mine was posting constantly about their own accomplishments constantly, it might constitute an internal eye roll from time to time or maybe just quietly turning the friend off my feed.

[Cricket]

Once I posted about breakfast.

 

I had milked the cow and goats, gathered the eggs, ground wheat berries, churned the butter, then make pancakes. I thought it was pretty cool. I even added that the extra work made me unable to serve breakfast before 11:58.

 

It offended one of my very favorite friends who serves generic frozen waffles and sunny D for breakfast. She thought I was being holier than thou. She said, "quit your bragging" then unfriended me.

 

Fortunately she freinded me again months later and I assume I'm forgiven.

 

Needless to say I no longer post about what we eat.

 

I'll tell you guys that my kids just had broccoli and squash for breakfast, but I won't post it on Facebook!

 

See, I would think that would be an awesome FB post! :D

[UnsinkableKristen]

See now, I think that's a fine and valid post and your friend was wrong. It's not like you said "look what I did! Thank goodness my kids don't eat frozen waffles for breakfast!".

 

 

:iagree:

[kitten18]

I'll be frank. Your status update, IMO, smacks of the whole "Us vs Them" mentality. Quite likely you don't intend it that way, but it might be read as "SEE why what I'M doing is SO much better than what YOU are doing?". It also perpetuates the idea that homeschoolers are sheltered and backward.

 

As for the comics. . . I'll just say that I've seen plenty of them and I've chosen not to share 99% of them for the exact same reason. It would seem that a lot of homeschoolers have a really difficult time promoting homeschooling without putting down public schooling in the process. And it shouldn't be that way. It's better to assume that everyone around you is doing what they feel is best for their families, even if it happens to be different from what you would choose.

:iagree:

 

 

My other comment I've made. We prayed at a very large homeschool field day. I was public schooled and we used to pray before lunch when I was in K-1st. I was super sad when we stopped!

But I was impressed that as a group, a large group, every child and adult bowed their head to pray before lunch.

I was impressed and amazed at the beauty of it. My post was, "So amazing to join in Homeschool Field Day and pray as a group before lunch. They stopped doing that in PS years ago."

 

Which is true. You can pray on your own quietly, but there is no more group prayer in school (not that we need to debate that now! :001_smile: ).

 

My PS friends took great offense! But really, I felt it had nothing to do with them and their choice to PS. I stated a fact. :confused:

 

 

It seems "us vs. them".

I think if you would have just said "So amazing to join in the Homeschool Field Day and pray as a group before lunch" it would have been fine. But then you compared it to PS and made it "us vs. them".

[Kathryn]

It seems "us vs. them".

I think if you would have just said "So amazing to join in the Homeschool Field Day and pray as a group before lunch" it would have been fine. But then you compared it to PS and made it "us vs. them".

 

:iagree:

[Pamela H in Texas]

I would probably post something of an apology but also a boundary to start with. Something like, "I'm sorry I seemed judgmental. I really do respect each family's decision. WIth that said, this *is* my FB page and I would appreciate being able to post about my life without it turning into a debate."

 

Anyway, then I would post general stuff like pics from the Not Back to School park day, "going to the zoo homeschool day...yay!," and "She did it! She memorized her 4s table!" Those are things that are going on in your life that aren't judging others. They are also things other people have similar things to post about (the school field trip, the first day on the bus pics, milestones, etc).

 

And when you want to say something that could be seen as judgmental, come here instead.

The two you mentioned are definitely things I'd say here, not in mixed company.

 

ETA: I say all this as someone who has opted out of most of FB. I have a page, nobody friended, so I can see certain businesses and such as well as to participate in the local sell/buy/trade group. I did, yesterday, join our county's homeschool FB page.

Edited August 16, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[cin]

I can so identify with what you are saying. I posted a cartoon about homeschooling, about this time last year. I got slammed by 3 people from my church, to such an extent that my HS friends wouldn't even comment. I skipped church for 2 weeks, and the counselor at our church asked a mutual friend if I was doing ok (she saw the posts). I was also told that as a MOPS mentor, I need to be careful (By someone who is NOT in MOPS). I asked the MOPS coordinator if she wanted me to resign. She basically said that as a human being, I am going to have opinions, and she'd rather have a person who has passion than a limp fish as a mentor.

 

One of my oldest friends dropped me, but is still friends with DH, so she keps up with the girls. But she is a PS teacher and a staunch liberal. So her and I have diverged quite a bit since college days ;) I was surprised that we were friends as long as we were. About a week after that mess, One of my friends posted on my wall a thing that says something similar to My Wall is Mine. It is not a democracy. I avoided FB for several days after that, hoping there would be no fallout. There wasn't.

 

The funny thing is, one of the people who was mad at me for posting such inflammatory stuff was, at the same time, posting anti-gay marriage stuff. :001_huh: and some other political hot-button items. I guess those didn't offend HER, so they were ok.

 

You cannot please all of the people all of the time. And some days you can't please ANYBODY at ALL!

 

:rant:

[catz]

 

I'm not going to censor my pro-hsing posts such as a cool trip we've taken and I don't expect my friends to skip posting that their kid is class president!

 

I think it's great and fine posting stuff like this. And I also think it's totally possible to post about them without making value judgments on other people. To me it's the difference between posting "We're heading out on a long road trip. Look forward to all the sights and museums!" and "Thank goodness we don't have kids in public school, or we'd never be able to go on our highly educational cross country journey!".

 

I even think politics can be posted civilly with the right tone. I'll turn off people of any political leaning if their posts turn into hate filled rants of the other side. Thoughtful article links are always ok by me.

 

And of course, everyone has the right to post what they want on their page. Just don't be shocked when you make a value judgment on someone else that you're going to spark debate.

[ApronMama]

I admit that only-a-homeschooler or XYZ-because-homeschooling posts annoy me because in my experience the observations rarely apply exclusively to homeschooled children. I think it's preferable to share cool things that kids do or funny things they say without any us-versus-them dynamic. But other people can say whatever they like on their Facebook wall, and I don't have to read it if it offends me. I've unfriended a few people whose posts were consistently negative and cantankerous. Still, when people post controversial things, they shouldn't feign innocence or be surprised when others react or call them on it if they think the post is unfair.

 

:iagree: