oasis Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I'm a person who normally prefers to listen, rather than talking. My talkative dh knows this, as I've been this way since the first day we met! We get along very well, but one complaint he has is I'm not talking enough. (We've known each other for 12 years.) When I learn something new, think of something interesting to say, or come up with something new to add to a conversation, I definitely converse with dh about it. I tell him everything! Sometimes I just don't have anything interesting to talk about, as work is the same-old-same-old every day, and dh is always there when I'm home, so there's nothing new on that front. I'm trying to figure out what in the world he wants me to say! :tongue_smilie: It gets exhausting attempting to think of something to talk about so dh will be happy, and not get miffed that I'm not talking again. :D Do you run into this issue? What do spouses talk about all day, every day? Why can't we enjoy some quiet time together?!? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 No. Never. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Oh my word, NO, NO, and NO! :001_tt2: But he will get a kick out of me asking him this question! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oasis Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 LOL! I figured most people do not have this issue, or it's the reverse situation, where the dw wishes her dh would be more talkative. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyMama Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Oh, yes, introvert married to extreme extrovert here. It is SO exhausting. :D Not to mention, both my kiddos are extroverts, they talk and want interaction all day long. So by the end of the day, I'm all out. The only three things that have helped some for me: 1) I take one hour of quiet time every afternoon. My kids go to their rooms, I either read or work around the house, but it is QUIET. Eventually this will become our one hour of personal reading time, but for now, it's just rest/quiet. 2) Right when the kids go to bed, I take 30 minutes to do my Bible Study. It's QUIET. 3) I don't pick up a book or my iPad until I've talked with my husband. For us, he just wanted my attention. Once I talked to him about something, anything, he seemed less annoyed to see me lost in a book. As for what we talk about... I guess I talk about the kids a lot. Or something I've read. I try to share about my day and ask him about his. Usually he'll get going and I can slowly quiet down and things are fine. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssavings Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yes! DH is very extroverted, and I'm very introverted. I, generally, have pretty much used up my words for the entire day by 5 pm, and have nothing else to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Wolf considers me being quiet to be something of a storm warning. Quiet Imp = Something. Seriously. Wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Not even once in our entire marriage :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oasis Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 I try to share about my day and ask him about his. Usually he'll get going and I can slowly quiet down and things are fine. ;) This made me laugh, because I do the same thing! I'll just ask him something about Doctor Who, or comic books, or something else in which he's interested, and he'll go on and on for a while. That buys me a little break! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma2Luke Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 oh yes! I can relate! My husband and son are both talkers.... and me, I'm good with some silence! :001_smile: It is exhausting to be talked to all day, for sure. There are days when I'm all "are you STILL talking?!" but of course I'd NEVER say that out loud :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Not even once in our entire marriage :D :iagree: I never shut up. I do sometimes ask him to talk more. His entire family is pretty reserved; they only talk about what they really need to talk about most of the time. Not a lot of extra chatter. Dh talks, but sometimes I have to ask him to talk more. THe reverse? Never, ever!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oasis Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 I, generally, have pretty much used up my words for the entire day by 5 pm, and have nothing else to say. :iagree: Exactly! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anoncalhan Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yep my hubby is the talker and I am not. You are not alone. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I'm a person who normally prefers to listen, rather than talking. My talkative dh knows this, as I've been this way since the first day we met! We get along very well, but one complaint he has is I'm not talking enough. (We've known each other for 12 years.) When I learn something new, think of something interesting to say, or come up with something new to add to a conversation, I definitely converse with dh about it. I tell him everything! Sometimes I just don't have anything interesting to talk about, as work is the same-old-same-old every day, and dh is always there when I'm home, so there's nothing new on that front. I'm trying to figure out what in the world he wants me to say! :tongue_smilie: It gets exhausting attempting to think of something to talk about so dh will be happy, and not get miffed that I'm not talking again. :D Do you run into this issue? What do spouses talk about all day, every day? Why can't we enjoy some quiet time together?!? :lol: I think I could have written this word for word! :lol: I just find that if I babble about mundane topics long enough he either ends up taking over the conversation or he goes off and does his own thing. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 No. Never. :lol: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Oh, yes, introvert married to extreme extrovert here. It is SO exhausting. :D Not to mention, both my kiddos are extroverts, they talk and want interaction all day long. So by the end of the day, I'm all out. The only three things that have helped some for me: 1) I take one hour of quiet time every afternoon. My kids go to their rooms, I either read or work around the house, but it is QUIET. Eventually this will become our one hour of personal reading time, but for now, it's just rest/quiet. 2) Right when the kids go to bed, I take 30 minutes to do my Bible Study. It's QUIET. 3) I don't pick up a book or my iPad until I've talked with my husband. For us, he just wanted my attention. Once I talked to him about something, anything, he seemed less annoyed to see me lost in a book. As for what we talk about... I guess I talk about the kids a lot. Or something I've read. I try to share about my day and ask him about his. Usually he'll get going and I can slowly quiet down and things are fine. ;) Sounds like my house too. While he doesn't out and say I don't communicate enough, we do joke about the fact the our roles are reversed. My husband is an extrovert and a lover of attention (drama king??). It's exhausting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 DH has never asked this question, and I have a feeling I will never hear it, either. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yes! He thinks things through while talking, it really helps him. I prefer to be quiet and listen. Our usual conversation is 80% him, 20% me. Breaking all stereotypes here. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
profmom Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Here, we are both quiet! I talk more than he does, but we still have quiet times. We went out-of-town last weekend, and, while we talked quite a bit, there were many times when it was just quiet in the car. Once, I asked him what he was thinking about, and it was just the directions to where we were going - LOL! A couple of times, I wondered if I should try to fill the quiet spots, but I decided that he probably doesn't notice them. I like the suggestion to talk to your dh before picking up the iPad or book -- good advice! It sounds like you're on the way to finding a happy medium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yes...and no. If I am talking...he glazes over. If I am quiet...because I prefer that...he wants to know why I am not talking. :confused: After being together over 30 years....I just do what I feel like doing....and don't worry too much if I am not talking the right amount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Never, ever, EVER in the past 24 years of marriage has my DH ever ONCE complained that I am too quiet. Ever. :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mélie Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Never. :lol: When Dh and I started dating, my English wasn't great, so he held up most of the conversation. But now, I definitely talk more than him. A few weeks ago after I ranted to him about every little thing I could think of, he looked up and said "You know, sometimes I regret teaching you to speak English." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I'm usually pretty chatty, but my dh doesn't really want me to talk so much as he wants to bounce ideas off me. He directs the conversation, and does most of the talking. I give him my attention and act as a sounding board for him. He does the same for me, but I have other outlets which are more effective than he is. He really only has me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Wolf considers me being quiet to be something of a storm warning. Quiet Imp = Something. Seriously. Wrong. :D This would be me, too. He doesn't ask me to talk more, he just asks "What's wrong?", usually with a look of absolute fear and dread on his face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I know I am often very closed-mouthed about personal things, i.e. health issues. Part of me thinks I don't want him worried about every little ache I have, part of me thinks I will handle it whatever remedy and he never needs to know. I am also a reader and when I am knee deep in a book, it can be very quiet around the house. Dh jokes that he can always carry on a conversation with our mastiff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thia Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Does your spouse ever complain about you not talking enough? Never. Not once. Ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Fortunately we are both introverts. It would be a lot of pressure to have to come up with something to say all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 We are both pretty introverted, too. I will say, however, that I do talk a lot when he comes home. I tell him that I did not use up my words for the day, and he knows to just get settled in. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Oh my word, NO, NO, and NO! :001_tt2: But he will get a kick out of me asking him this question! :iagree: DH says it confuses him when I am quiet.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Wolf considers me being quiet to be something of a storm warning. Quiet Imp = Something. Seriously. Wrong. Yeah, this. OP, you could do as my dh does. He checks the online news and reads a few random articles on Wikipedia before he comes home each day. Even if I'm not really interested in what he's read, I still appreciate the effort. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Are you kidding? No way! :lol: Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yes...and no. If I am talking...he glazes over. If I am quiet...because I prefer that...he wants to know why I am not talking. :confused: After being together over 30 years....I just do what I feel like doing....and don't worry too much if I am not talking the right amount. :iagree: This is us too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 :D This would be me, too. He doesn't ask me to talk more, he just asks "What's wrong?", usually with a look of absolute fear and dread on his face. I belong to this club. :) He would only dream with reserved glee the day I asked this question...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Yes! We have the same exact issue. It makes me crazy. On the same note, he also doesn't understand why I'm not always thrilled to have his company. I love him, but sometimes I just need to be alone. We are SO different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! No, no he doesn't. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Yes all the time. My DH is the one who always wants to talk about stuff - I'm always to tired after talking to my kids all day :001_huh: I've never been a talker - I'm private and keep a lot of stuff to myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Oh my word, NO, NO, and NO! :001_tt2: But he will get a kick out of me asking him this question! :iagree::iagree::iagree::lol::lol::lol: I just asked him if he wished I would talk more. His response was a quick NO!!! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Me? :smilielol5: Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Nevah! :lol: Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyMama Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Yes! We have the same exact issue. It makes me crazy. On the same note, he also doesn't understand why I'm not always thrilled to have his company. I love him, but sometimes I just need to be alone. We are SO different. :iagree: Oy vey, the hurt that has sprung up in our marriage around this very issue. It's a total roll-reversal. There really no easy way to say, or hear, "I just need to be away from everyone, including you, for a while." Especially when said to someone who can barely go to the bathroom without picking up the phone to call someone. He calls it multi-tasking, I call it fear of silence. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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