Poll for practicing Catholics

[pbb119]

I am a cradle Catholic from a fairly devout Catholic family, and had always thought that I had a pretty good handle on the Church's teaching. So I was surprised when about 5 years ago, I learned of the Church's teachings against contraception. The vast majority of Catholics I know do not know or do not follow the teachings on this issue. But, to be honest, I don't actually know a lot of Catholic people anyway, at least not well enough to inquire about their birth control habits :tongue_smilie:

 

So, I have been SOOOO curious about this, and decided to post here.

 

Please, this is NOT a debate on the Church's teachings. If you do not agree w/the teaching, please do not post about that in this thread.

 

Oh, And I'm also curious, if you do know, how/when you found out.

 

Thank you!

[Barb_]

I answered even though I'm no longer a practicing Catholic. I learned about the church's teachings in Catholic school, but we didn't follow it when we were practicing Catholics. We still ended up with seven kids, however. It just bugged me that celibate men were presuming to tell me how many children I should have. Eh. Maybe that's why we aren't practicing any longer.

[Soror]

We learned before converting. Yes, we practice this. We believe in the authority of the Church, given by God, so it isn't optional for us to not practice required teachings.

[Unscripted]

Yes we know about the teaching- DH was cradle catholic, and I found out during RCIA. We practiced NFP successfully to avoid children for the first 3 yrs of our marriage, and then used it to conceive.

However, after both births I developed a condition that we have only really been able to control with BC. :(

But I do believe the church is right on this... In reality it has nothing to do with old men trying to control women with birth numbers, as this not to be a debate- I will leave it at that.

[DawnM]

I am surprised that you only learned of this recently. I am not a Catholic and have never been Catholic, but I have always known of this. The news always makes a big deal about it when the Pope is visiting (particularly) 3rd world nations.

 

My friends who are Catholic tell me that before they are allowed to marry in the Catholic church, they must attend pre-martial sessions of some sort that make a very large deal about not using birth control.

 

My husband grew up nominal Catholic (parents sent him to Catechism but never attended much themselves.)

[ssavings]

DH and I were both born Catholic, and the Church's teaching on no birth control have always been a part of our lives and our families.

 

The majority of Catholics I know understand and discuss this teaching regularly. But it was not ever mentioned in our marriage prep.

Edited June 5, 2012 by ssavings

[amy g.]

We have Followed the church's teaching throughout our 20 year marriage, but I am starting to worry about an accidental pregnancy (and likely miscarriage) now that I'm really getting old, and it has taken me so long to recover from the baby I had2 years ago.

 

I KNOW it is against the church's teaching, but I'm thinking about using a barrier method during this time when my cycles and hormones are so erratic, and I feel like having another baby would negatively affect everyone in my family.

 

I've never felt this way before. I have always been excited about the prospect of a new baby, but I'm out of physical and emotional resources at the moment.

 

Dh, as always would be thrilled with another child, but he knows that he has the easy part of bearing one.

 

Edited to add that it was the main topic of our pre marriage workshop, but since most of the couples there were already living together, I felt like Dh and I were exceptions for abstaining before marriage. I assume that we still are exceptions, but I have been very surprised by the number of young adults who enthusiastically embrace the Church's teaching on birth control.

 

The atmosphere seems different than it did when we were married 20 years ago.

 

I'm undecided, and haven't taken any action. If I did have a 6 th child, I would undoubtably love him,and probably always be grateful that my life turned out God's way instead of my own, but right now, I just want to focus on maintaining what little sanity I have left, and do the very best job I can with the children I already have.

Edited June 5, 2012 by amy g.

[2squared]

We have Followed the church's teaching throughout our 20 year marriage, but I am starting to worry about an accidental pregnancy (and likely miscarriage) now that I'm really getting old, and it has taken me so long to recover from the baby I had2 years ago.

 

I KNOW it is against the church's teaching, but I'm thinking about using a barrier method during this time when my cycles and hormones are so erratic, and I feel like having another baby would negatively affect everyone in my family.

 

I've never felt this way before. I have always been excited about the prospect of a new baby, but I'm out of physical and emotional resources at the moment.

 

Dh, as always would be thrilled with another child, but he knows that he has the easy part of bearing one.

 

Edited to add that it was the main topic of our pre marriage workshop, but since most of the couples there were already living together, I felt like Dh and I were exceptions for abstaining before marriage. I assume that we still are exceptions, but I have been very surprised by the number of young adults who enthusiastically embrace the Church's teaching on birth control.

 

The atmosphere seems different than it did when we were married 20 years ago.

 

I'm undecided, and haven't taken any action. If I did have a 6 th child, I would undoubtably love him,and probably always be grateful that my life turned out God's way instead of my own, but right now, I just want to focus on maintaining what little sanity I have left, and do the very best job I can with the children I already have.

 

:iagree::iagree: We've only been married 15 years, but everything else in your post is EXACTLY how we feel. We are struggling with the idea of another unplanned pregnancy when we are beyond stretched emotionally, physically, and financially. Last weekend I had a pregnancy scare with #6, so we are still reeling from those thoughts.

 

ETA: I wasn't raised Catholic, but I was well aware of the birth control teaching before I converted. I didn't understand the why before, but now I do. Sadly, I agree with the why, but it's very difficult to want to follow the teaching at this point in my life. I am surprised that anyone couldn't know or understand the church's position on ABC as it seems to be a hot conversational topic in politics and discussion forums all the time.

Edited June 5, 2012 by 2squared

[Zuzu822]

We are aware of, and follow Church teaching.

 

My husband is a cradle Catholic, and I converted in 2004. We are both about to turn 30. :)

 

We are discerning our future with the Church, but not because of her teaching on family planning.

[Parrothead]

I'm a mid-40s cradle Catholic who has been aware of the church's teachings on ABC pretty much my entire life. There was a big "thing" way back in the 70s. I remember hearing about it.

 

Yes, I do follow the no ABC. I do not see it as old white men telling me how many children to have. Nor to I see it as a solid no birth control since NFP is acceptable. Even in incidence when hormonal BC is not the objective, one is allowed the use of hormonal ABC to control some medical issues the women occasionally have to deal with.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Parrothead

[imagine.more]

I was not aware of this teaching as a child, my parents were non-practicing Catholics and chose to pretend they weren't aware either and acted as they pleased.

 

After learning about the teaching I still didn't know it was a big deal, thought it was a suggestion not actual considered a sin, and I didn't understand why because we were never told. After being married 1.5 years and having a child (unplanned, using condoms no less!) I did the research and realized both the church's stance and why. We switched to strictly NFP and have been happy with that, not had any surprises yet. My husband is ELCA Lutheran and agrees with the Catholic stance on birth control, so it's always a little strange to me that even some Catholics don't. I really think it's mostly a bad job in educating people about a) how serious it is and b) why the church teaches this, both from a moral/theological and a practical/social perspective. I know I felt very betrayed when I learned about it that nobody had ever talked to me about it or talked openly about it around me. Seemed a shame that I had gone for so long not knowing about it and then having to study and research myself to find out why.

[Trish]

I am a cradle Catholic from a fairly devout Catholic family, and had always thought that I had a pretty good handle on the Church's teaching. So I was surprised when about 5 years ago, I learned of the Church's teachings against contraception. The vast majority of Catholics I know do not know or do not follow the teachings on this issue. But, to be honest, I don't actually know a lot of Catholic people anyway, at least not well enough to inquire about their birth control habits :tongue_smilie:

 

So, I have been SOOOO curious about this, and decided to post here.

 

Please, this is NOT a debate on the Church's teachings. If you do not agree w/the teaching, please do not post about that in this thread.

 

Oh, And I'm also curious, if you do know, how/when you found out.

 

Thank you!

 

Yeah, the church has done quite a bad job of catechesis in the last 40 years! I've been aware of the teaching because my parents always followed it and made sure we knew about it. It was touched on briefly at my Catholic high school, but more as a "this is what the church teaches so we have to let you know about this" type of thing. Then there was a discussion of every type of contraception known to man.

 

My husband and I do follow the church's teaching on this.

[K&Rs Mom]

One cradle, one convert here, following the teaching.

 

We didn't at first, though, because we actually thought it wasn't really church teaching - it was one of those rumors about the church but nobody really believed it. Once we understood that the rule hadn't changed, we did start to follow it, and began to understand the "why" behind it better over time.

 

I agree with others that the teaching on this has been lacking, but either it's starting to turn around or I'm in a little bubble where I hear the truth more often.

[oraetstudia]

We converted together about five years ago. I knew the church's teaching before converted. It was and has continued to be one of the hardest things for me. I agree with the teaching, but I never looked forward to a large family. I've been done having kids since my third was born. But we are terrible at charting and following NFP rules for long, and so here I am pregnant with my seventh child. I love them all and the church isn't forcing this on me, but it doesn't make it easy.

[Momof3littles]

I am not Catholic, but attended a Jesuit university and had to take numerous theology courses while I was there. We discussed the church's teachings on birth control, etc. in depth. I was somewhat aware of them before I attended university there, but I don't live in a heavily Catholic area, so I didn't know all of the details. My mom grew up Catholic but left the church in her 20s after encountering church-related issues in her divorce from an abusive spouse.

 

I also had to take ethics and medical ethics, where the Church's stance was again discussed.

[ashfern]

I was a cradle Catholic and knew about it since forever. I went to Catholic school from 1-12. I know that we also went over it in the marriage prep class. They had an elderly Catholic couple come in to talk all about NFP as the only accepted method of pregnancy prevention.

 

Even though I'm no longer Catholic, I answered your poll based on what we did when we were. :D

[Laurie4b]

Not a Catholic, so I didn't vote, but I've known about it for at least 35-40 years, maybe longer. (I"m mid-50s) I think my first intro to it was likely asking why so-and-so had so many children.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Cradle Catholic, turned atheist, then back to the Church.

 

During my atheist years, I (obviously) didn't care about Church teaching, and followed "the crowd". Everyone was taking BC, so I did.

After the planned birth of 2 kids, I developed health issues, which required BC for health reasons (survival even!) so I kept on using ABC when I reverted. Eventually, I got a hysterectomy, so that's the end of it.

I voted other.

[KirstenH]

We have Followed the church's teaching throughout our 20 year marriage, but I am starting to worry about an accidental pregnancy (and likely miscarriage) now that I'm really getting old, and it has taken me so long to recover from the baby I had2 years ago.

 

I KNOW it is against the church's teaching, but I'm thinking about using a barrier method during this time when my cycles and hormones are so erratic, and I feel like having another baby would negatively affect everyone in my family.

 

I've never felt this way before. I have always been excited about the prospect of a new baby, but I'm out of physical and emotional resources at the moment.

 

Dh, as always would be thrilled with another child, but he knows that he has the easy part of bearing one.

 

Edited to add that it was the main topic of our pre marriage workshop, but since most of the couples there were already living together, I felt like Dh and I were exceptions for abstaining before marriage. I assume that we still are exceptions, but I have been very surprised by the number of young adults who enthusiastically embrace the Church's teaching on birth control.

 

The atmosphere seems different than it did when we were married 20 years ago.

 

I'm undecided, and haven't taken any action. If I did have a 6 th child, I would undoubtably love him,and probably always be grateful that my life turned out God's way instead of my own, but right now, I just want to focus on maintaining what little sanity I have left, and do the very best job I can with the children I already have.

 

This is where we are, for different reasons. I could die if I get pregnant again, or at the very least, utterly lose my health. We practice NFP but basically, we don't have sex, and on the rare occasions that we do, even though I chart, I spend the rest of my cycle terrified that God will call me to "be heroic" and die/suffer greatly to bear another child. I know this isn't healthy, but I can't help it. Too much has happened lately for me to feel differently.

 

This morning I was thinking that the Church teaches that taking a human life is acceptable in self-defense ... but not contraception? I'm done. My faith in the Church is shattered over this right now. I understand the beauty of the teachings on openness to life, but in my case, it feels like openness to death and suffering. Which is its own kind of beauty, I know, but one I don't feel able to live with. I have small kids. We have no family or church support. My kids need a mom.

 

I'm just about at the point where I am ready to do what I need to do to maintain my sanity and the health of my marriage and pray that God will forgive me.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I joined the Church two years ago, and one of the big things that converted me was the beauty of the Church's teachings on sex and the sanctitiy of human life. So I knew about it before I converted.

 

My doc is crazy about getting me on ABC to control PCOS, but I am looking into lots of other options, including diet changes, etc. My PCOS symptoms are pretty mild, luckily.

[Tiramisu]

This is where we are, for different reasons. I could die if I get pregnant again, or at the very least, utterly lose my health. We practice NFP but basically, we don't have sex, and on the rare occasions that we do, even though I chart, I spend the rest of my cycle terrified that God will call me to "be heroic" and die/suffer greatly to bear another child. I know this isn't healthy, but I can't help it. Too much has happened lately for me to feel differently.

 

This morning I was thinking that the Church teaches that taking a human life is acceptable in self-defense ... but not contraception? I'm done. My faith in the Church is shattered over this right now. I understand the beauty of the teachings on openness to life, but in my case, it feels like openness to death and suffering. Which is its own kind of beauty, I know, but one I don't feel able to live with. I have small kids. We have no family or church support. My kids need a mom.

 

I'm just about at the point where I am ready to do what I need to do to maintain my sanity and the health of my marriage and pray that God will forgive me.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Murphy101]

Even when we were agnostic (if that?) we didn't use ABC, so when I converted to RC, it wasn't an issue. Dh did not convert but was/is agreement on this issue. We both knew the RC stance on ABC before I joined.

 

It's been a struggle lately. I completely get Kristen's worries.:grouphug: I just don't share her view on it.

 

If I should ever hurt someone in self defense, it will be bc I had no other choice.

 

If I get pregnant, it will be bc I chose to have sex.

 

For now, for us, the choice is scary enough that it's not much of an issue. Not having sex is not a problem for us bc the stakes are very high. And recently dh has been traveling for weeks at a time, so it's not like temptation is here every night.;)

[Kathryn]

I didn't vote as I'm not Catholic, but it's something I don't ever remember not knowing and am surprised to hear that others, especially Catholics, didn't know. That's where all the jokes about large Catholic families come from.

[justamouse]

I joined the church after I got my tubes tied, but I never blew off the teaching because it didn't apply to me--I have to understand it so that I can teach my children. I'm really grateful I put the time and reading into understanding, and I deeply mourn my decision to sterilize myself. I mourn what my marriage (as good as it is!) could have been.

[LG Gone Wild]

After reading humae vitae, it is hard come away with the sentiment that old white men are trying to control my uterus. For years we did NOT practice the teaching but currently we are trying to migrate over. It has been hit and miss since old practices die hard. Plus, both my dh and I find certain aspects of s@x really icky. Following the teaching would have to allow for that icky part. So ... it has been taking some time to adjust.

[littlebug42]

This is where we are, for different reasons. I could die if I get pregnant again, or at the very least, utterly lose my health. We practice NFP but basically, we don't have sex, and on the rare occasions that we do, even though I chart, I spend the rest of my cycle terrified that God will call me to "be heroic" and die/suffer greatly to bear another child. I know this isn't healthy, but I can't help it. Too much has happened lately for me to feel differently.

 

This morning I was thinking that the Church teaches that taking a human life is acceptable in self-defense ... but not contraception? I'm done. My faith in the Church is shattered over this right now. I understand the beauty of the teachings on openness to life, but in my case, it feels like openness to death and suffering. Which is its own kind of beauty, I know, but one I don't feel able to live with. I have small kids. We have no family or church support. My kids need a mom.

 

I'm just about at the point where I am ready to do what I need to do to maintain my sanity and the health of my marriage and pray that God will forgive me.

 

:grouphug:

 

I voted that I know about the teachings but we do not follow them. I have known about this for a long time and it was brought up during our pre-marital classes that we took. I converted after we got married and knew then.

 

Our situation is similar to Kirsten's. After the birth of Boo-Boo, dh has firmly said no more. He said that he cannot watch me suffer through another pregnancy and/or another miscarriage. I know what the feelings are about ABC but I also know that I have to care for the children I have and for me, that wins out over others that I might have. It is a constant struggle for me.

[butterflymommy]

I have wanted to create this very thread/ poll!

 

I too am so curious about Catholics' actual behavior when it comes to birth control. DH was born and raised Catholic and we've always used withdrawal when we don't want to conceive. I knew this was against church teaching but-- 16 years into our marriage-- I discovered he didn't realize this was against church teaching! He thought as long as you don't use any medications or devices you're ok. We have 7 kids regardless :tongue_smilie: although none of them were conceived when he "spilled his seed."

 

Where I live there are many active Catholic churches-- they tend to be either white (Italian/ Irish heritage) or hispanic (a huge mexican population here). I've noticed the hispanic families have lots of kids. It's not uncommon to see families with 5, 6, 7 or more little ones. Whereas in the caucasian churches, it's usually just 2 kids, occasionally 3 and very rarely 4 in the church going families. Which made me wonder if there are cultural issues at play between different groups of catholics. Does anyone know?

[*Michelle*]

Raised Catholic, knew about it from early on, didn't comply at first, practice NFP now.

[Murphy101]

I didn't vote as I'm not Catholic, but it's something I don't ever remember not knowing and am surprised to hear that others, especially Catholics, didn't know. That's where all the jokes about large Catholic families come from.

 

Hehe. Pretty much.

 

Always known about it. Only know one or two IRL who care about/ observe the teaching. Id say the poll results here are not at all representative of most catholics.

 

It is well documented that approx 90+% of those who profess to be RC do NOT follow RC teaching on ABC. :(

Edited June 5, 2012 by Martha
Ack! Completely left out a word that drastically changes the stats!! Sorry!

[pbb119]

Thanks everyone!

 

We did the required pre-cana, but I know it was never mentioned by the priest during his sessions. Although, looking back, I now remember there was a couple who discussed NFP at the pre-cana retreat. I guess either I had my head in the sand, not paying attention, we are here b/c we have to be kinda thing, b/c I don't remember them discussing the WHY they were there presenting NFP.

 

I agree that the Church does not seem to do well with the how and the why. It is more discussed these days, I think, and has more media attention, but I think most RC's don't follow b/c there is no understanding of why and how important that teaching is, and how serious it is to go against it.

 

We follow the Church, and as we both just had our 40th bday, I am terrified of another pregnancy. But 2 years ago, during one of the worst personal and emotional times in my life, I found out I was pg. It could not have been at a worse time, trust me. So bad that my first fleeting thought was abortion, but of course I could never do that, and felt guilty just for the thought. But, God saw me through it, and everything else, and my baby girl just had her 2nd bday. She has been a blessing in so many ways that I cannot even believe how God reveals his plans - sometimes in ways that horrify us!

 

And, I am so thankful that I learned about the Church's teachings, and the beauty and importance of that teaching and have done more to learn the CCC on my own. I so wish the Church better taught their catechism.

 

Again, thanks everyone! And thanks for keeping the thread informative, and not one that got snarky and debatey!

[Happy2BaMom]

It is well documented that approx 90+% of those who profess to be RC do follow RC teaching on ABC. :(

 

That's interesting. I personally know 12 RC families. Not a single one of them follows the teaching on ABC (maybe I just know the 10%?...:D). It bugs me, actually, as I think there is an integrity issue to it (that's why I am not RC or even religious anymore...figure if I am not going to follow the creeds of the church, why pretend), so it is nice to see consistency among those who have chosen to belong. I admire y'all, though, I have two kids, could've done three but it didn't work out, but I can't imagine have more than three without me turning into a witch, just not cut out for it.

[pbb119]

That's interesting. I personally know 12 RC families. Not a single one of them follows the teaching on ABC (maybe I just know the 10%?...:D). It bugs me, actually, as I think there is an integrity issue to it (that's why I am not RC or even religious anymore...figure if I am not going to follow the creeds of the church, why pretend), so it is nice to see consistency among those who have chosen to belong. I admire y'all, though, I have two kids, could've done three but it didn't work out, but I can't imagine have more than three without me turning into a witch, just not cut out for it.

 

I *think* that was supposed to read do NOT follow...

[Soror]

I don't know if anyone follows this in my Parish, it doesn't seem so from the way people act about it. I've had people ask me if we follow this and when we say yes, then there is silence. If couples do follow it around here then we have a very high infertility rate but who knows that is between the individual and God. I do know one couple IRL that follows the teaching, well that is under 50 or so anyway. The amount practicing saddens me but doesn't change my conviction, the rightness of an act doesn't depend on the numbers and I believe the Church is right, otherwise I wouldn't follow it.

[I.Dup.]

We converted last year and yes, we follow the Church's teachings. If they are wrong on this, they could be wrong on anything, kwim? It helps to understand the reasons why instead of just thinking it comes from old men- that would be VERY unappealing! LOL!

 

But we believed that ABC was wrong and harmful before we converted (see our sig, LOL), so it wasn't a huge issue for us. We also have not used NFP, but we are considering it.

[Crimson Wife]

Pretty much the only folks I know who actually follow the Church's teachings on family planning are fellow homeschoolers.

 

Sadly, most other Catholics don't even realize that modern NFP is nothing like the old, ineffective calendar-based Rhythm method. Even the minority who do know about charting fertility signs like BBT & mucus typically don't know about the existence of electronic fertility monitors that allow for more accurate pinpointing of the fertile window.

[tntgoodwin]

I'm not Catholic, but I knew.

[Soror]

Sadly, most other Catholics don't even realize that modern NFP is nothing like the old, ineffective calendar-based Rhythm method. Even the minority who do know about charting fertility signs like BBT & mucus typically don't know about the existence of electronic fertility monitors that allow for more accurate pinpointing of the fertile window.

 

We don't hardly even have classes around here because they cannot get any people to come. We have practiced the Creighton Model and CCL although very, very loosely. I've hardly even charted at all, the last time was maybe 6-7 yrs ago when we took a Creighton class and were supposed to be charting to learn the method. My body is pretty easy to read though and we've never had a life or death situation and I'd likely use some of those monitors if that was the case.

[MyLittleWonders]

I'm a new convert (dh is not Catholic) and follow the teachings. Though, I have known about the teachings for many, many years (and it was brought up in RCIA). We haven't used ABC for over 9 years though, so it wasn't ever a matter of having to switch over how we did things because of my conversion.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I am surprised that you only learned of this recently. I am not a Catholic and have never been Catholic, but I have always known of this. The news always makes a big deal about it when the Pope is visiting (particularly) 3rd world nations.

 

My friends who are Catholic tell me that before they are allowed to marry in the Catholic church, they must attend pre-martial sessions of some sort that make a very large deal about not using birth control.

 

My husband grew up nominal Catholic (parents sent him to Catechism but never attended much themselves.)

 

I don't know when I learned this but it is just one of those things it seems like I've always known. I've never been Catholic nor ever known (at least that I know of) a practicing Catholic IRL.:tongue_smilie:

[Murphy101]

I *think* that was supposed to read do NOT follow...

 

Yes! Sorry. I went back and edited it. *blush*

[Tiramisu]

I'm in the category of practicing Catholic who doesn't use ABC.

 

For all those who struggle, I know it's hard. I personally feel the challenge to stick to those teachings despite health issues and being overwhelmed other other children, but I trust the Church on this and somehow persevere. My heart goes out to those who struggle with this due to life-threatening health conditions.

 

I wish people knew more about the updated NFP and the Creighton method.

[Mimm]

Non-Catholic here, but I don't remember not knowing. :p I didn't have any Catholic friends or anything. I was raised in some really conservative Southern Baptist churches where some negative things were said about Catholics and it was mentioned that they didn't like birth control and that's why they had lots of kids. The funny thing was that the no birth control thing wasn't a criticism since many of the families were quiverfull (including my parents).

[Chris in VA]

This is where we are, for different reasons. I could die if I get pregnant again, or at the very least, utterly lose my health. We practice NFP but basically, we don't have sex, and on the rare occasions that we do, even though I chart, I spend the rest of my cycle terrified that God will call me to "be heroic" and die/suffer greatly to bear another child. I know this isn't healthy, but I can't help it. Too much has happened lately for me to feel differently.

 

This morning I was thinking that the Church teaches that taking a human life is acceptable in self-defense ... but not contraception? I'm done. My faith in the Church is shattered over this right now. I understand the beauty of the teachings on openness to life, but in my case, it feels like openness to death and suffering. Which is its own kind of beauty, I know, but one I don't feel able to live with. I have small kids. We have no family or church support. My kids need a mom.

 

I'm just about at the point where I am ready to do what I need to do to maintain my sanity and the health of my marriage and pray that God will forgive me.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Faith is hard. Being human is hard. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Barb_]

We converted last year and yes, we follow the Church's teachings. If they are wrong on this, they could be wrong on anything, kwim? It helps to understand the reasons why instead of just thinking it comes from old men- that would be VERY unappealing! LOL!

.

 

I'd like to use this quote as a spinoff post here

[PinkInTheBlue]

I am surprised that you only learned of this recently. I am not a Catholic and have never been Catholic, but I have always known of this.

 

:iagree: Me as well.

 

I don't know when I learned this but it is just one of those things it seems like I've always known. I've never been Catholic nor ever known (at least that I know of) a practicing Catholic IRL.:tongue_smilie:

 

I had one Catholic friend in high school but her religion almost never came up and her family definitely didn't seem to practice the no-birth control teaching.

 

In spite of that I've always known of this; well, as long as I can think of. I don't remember when I learned of it because it was so long ago.

[nova147]

We are practicing Catholics and follow the Church's teachings. We are converts and learned about it before joining, though not from RCIA - the parish we attended was VERY liberal. We were actually told that if we didn't use ABC, we would be in trouble (what kind of trouble was not defined).

 

I'm thankful for those of you who have shared your difficulty following the Church's teaching. I have felt alone in this, as my Catholic friends either use ABC or seem to think even struggling with living the teaching is a sin. :glare: I also had a brief thought of abortion when I got pregnant with my youngest, followed by weeks of emotional struggles.

 

During my pregnancy, I prayed a lot for our willpower once my fertility returned (it hasn't yet - we're in that weird time and I kind of wish I would just ovulate already!). I'm now trying to pray for my children's chastity when we are avoiding. But it still stinks. And I can only imagine how much more frustrating it is when your reasons are health related. :grouphug:

[justamouse]

I want to say that even before I knew of the teaching, I was pro life (heh) so once I was pregnant...

 

There were pregnancies I cried. Cried till the cows came home. My twins were 3 months old and (yes I was bfeeding) I got pregnant with #6. I was devastated. Utterly. I can't even begin to explain how exhausted I was. But that little boy who is nine, man, he is the sunshine of our house. His favorite color is yellow, and he loves smiley faces and he is *always* smiling. He's the happiest kid I know.

 

Then I got pregnant with #7, and not only did I cry--I'm not talking a few tears, I'm talking weeks of bawling my eyes out--but Dh and I didn't talk for three months. It was bad. Money was tight, we were exhausted, he was building the company and we had far outgrown our house. My oldest was going into an ADHD tailspin. We did not want this child.

 

But how we love this child. She is the apple of her daddy's eye, and most nights she's sleeping between us.

 

When I finally got my tubes tied it was out of sheer fear. Terror, was more like it. I was going to be hitting 40, I'd been either pregnant or nursing for

20 years and there was nothing left of me. So out of that fear, and after a few years of thinking about it I went and had it done. (And then this past year we became Catholic-after I read through all of the teachings I knew I'd have trouble with.)

 

Biggest mistake ever. I thought that had I taken the time to think it through---I thought that at my age, I thought it would free me. I was wrong. I'm not free, I'm bound to my decision.

 

I wish I had known about NFP then. I couldn't do any other kind of BC (I tried them all, all of my kids were born on BC, and I even tried the Dep shot, BC was a source of pain for us.)

 

I now am thinking about getting them undone. I've had other side effects that my DH warned me about--he told me not to, and I was so afraid I did it anyway.

 

So, I guess what I'm saying is that when your're Catholic, pregnancies aren't hard because of the teaching, pregnancies can be hard because they're hard. The church knows this and gives us the tools to work through those feelings and troubles. But they'd be there whether you were Catholic or not.

Edited June 5, 2012 by justamouse

[pbb119]

I want to say that even before I knew of the teaching, I was pro life (heh) so once I was pregnant...

 

There were pregnancies I cried. Cried till the cows came home. My twins were 3 months old and (yes I was bfeeding) I got pregnant with #6. I was devastated. Utterly. I can't even begin to explain how exhausted I was. But that little boy who is nine, man, he is the sunshine of our house. His favorite color is yellow, and he loves smiley faces and he is *always* smiling. He's the happiest kid I know.

 

Then I got pregnant with #7, and not only did I cry--I'm not talking a few tears, I'm talking weeks of bawling my eyes out--but Dh and I didn't talk for three months. It was bad. Money was tight, we were exhausted, he was building the company and we had far outgrown our house. My oldest was going into an ADHD tailspin. We did not want this child.

 

But how we love this child. She is the apple of her daddy's eye, and most nights she's sleeping between us.

 

When I finally got my tubes tied it was out of sheer fear. Terror, was more like it. I was going to be hitting 40, I'd been either pregnant or nursing for

20 years and there was nothing left of me. So out of that fear, and after a few years of thinking about it I went and had it done. (And then this past year we became Catholic-after I read through all of the teachings I knew I'd have trouble with.)

 

Biggest mistake ever. I thought that had I taken the time to think it through---I thought that at my age, I thought it would free me. I was wrong. I'm not free, I'm bound to my decision.

 

I wish I had known about NFP then. I couldn't do any other kind of BC (I tried them all, all of my kids were born on BC, and I even tried the Dep shot, BC was a source of pain for us.)

 

I now am thinking about getting them undone. I've had other side effects that my DH warned me about--he told me not to, and I was so afraid I did it anyway.

 

So, I guess what I'm saying is that when your're Catholic, pregnancies aren't hard because of the teaching, pregnancies can be hard because they're hard. The church knows this and gives us the tools to work through those feelings and troubles. But they'd be there whether you were Catholic or not.

 

wow. thank you so much for sharing your story. :grouphug:

[TranquilMind]

I am surprised that you only learned of this recently. I am not a Catholic and have never been Catholic, but I have always known of this. The news always makes a big deal about it when the Pope is visiting (particularly) 3rd world nations.

 

My friends who are Catholic tell me that before they are allowed to marry in the Catholic church, they must attend pre-martial sessions of some sort that make a very large deal about not using birth control.

 

My husband grew up nominal Catholic (parents sent him to Catechism but never attended much themselves.)

 

Another non-Catholic here who has always known about this. I did marry a Catholic in the Catholic Church and went through the Pre-Cana stuff, though I don't remember it being much of an issue at the time. I used to have debates about this issue with a co-worker before I was even married, just for fun. I remember one in particular about whether contraception was the equivalent of abortion. Fun times. :tongue_smilie: We should have been working...

[TranquilMind]

My twins were 3 months old and (yes I was bfeeding) I got pregnant with #6. I was devastated. Utterly. I can't even begin to explain how exhausted I was. But that little boy who is nine, man, he is the sunshine of our house. His favorite color is yellow, and he loves smiley faces and he is *always* smiling. He's the happiest kid I know.

 

Then I got pregnant with #7, and not only did I cry--I'm not talking a few tears, I'm talking weeks of bawling my eyes out--but Dh and I didn't talk for three months. It was bad. Money was tight, we were exhausted, he was building the company and we had far outgrown our house. My oldest was going into an ADHD tailspin. We did not want this child.

 

But how we love this child. She is the apple of her daddy's eye, and most nights she's sleeping between us.

 

 

 

 

I can't even imagine. Breastfeeding three month old twins and pregnant again! Yikes.

 

Glad you have all your wonderful kids though.