Mrs Mungo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 (edited) I just don't think it's a big deal. I guess I'm glad that my eldest was born in California and the younger two were born in Germany. I have nursed *literally* around the world and it was never an issue for me. Nobody ever said anything to me. Some old ladies got quite a surprise when they went in for a better look at the "sleeping" baby, but even they never disapproved. Honestly the US is just too uptight about breasts, in general. It isn't a big deal in most of the world to see a flash of breast. I saw a woman, covered head to toe (veil and all) in Egypt nursing in public with baby uncovered. It's not a big deal people, get over yourselves. eta: I was never overly concerned with being discreet, but I had people comment on my discretion many times. I usually nursed like it shows in the photo. If I had to unbottom from the top, then I had a bandana-sized blanket that I put on baby's head. That's about it. I also don't necessarily think extreme discretion (say, the use of those giant nursing bibs) is a virtue. It makes breastfeeding seem more abnormal and difficult than it is. Edited January 17, 2012 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I just don't think it's a big deal. I guess I'm glad that my eldest was born in California and the younger two were born in Germany. I have nursed *literally* around the world and it was never an issue for me. Nobody ever said anything to me. Some old ladies got quite a surprise when they went in for a better look at the "sleeping" baby, but even they never disapproved. Honestly the US is just too uptight about breasts, in general. It isn't a big deal in most of the world to see a flash of breast. I saw a woman, covered head to toe (veil and all) in Egypt nursing in public with baby uncovered. It's not a big deal people, get over yourselves. :iagree: Women in Papua New Guinea with babies strapped on their backs would just fling the breast up and over the shoulder to baby's mouth. After that, I'm pretty sure I can't classify even my SIL's very open uncovered nursing as "indiscreet." And yes, I assure you it is physically possible to do this...after going braless for 30-40 years. :grin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :iagree: Women in Papua New Guinea with babies strapped on their backs would just fling the breast up and over the shoulder to baby's mouth. After that, I'm pretty sure I can't classify even my SIL's very open uncovered nursing as "indiscreet."And yes, I assure you it is physically possible to do this...after going braless for 30-40 years. :grin: I sag, but not that much :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 eta: I was never overly concerned with being discreet, but I had people comment on my discretion many times. I usually nursed like it shows in the photo. If I had to unbottom from the top, then I had a bandana-sized blanket that I put on baby's head. That's about it. I also don't necessarily think extreme discretion (say, the use of those giant nursing bibs) is a virtue. It makes breastfeeding seem more abnormal and difficult than it is. I think the way you did it is absolutely fine. I think it is entirely different when the mom ends up looking more like an exhibitionist than a nursing mom. It's the "flaunting it" aspect of BFing that I object to in public. If a woman sees that she is drawing a lot of attention to herself, it may be a signal that she should cover up a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 You don't take off your shirt? And yell, "Hey, look, I'm breastfeeding, check it out!" :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My definition of "discreet breastfeeding": One bOOK out per child. If you're nursing a singleton and have the second volume blowing in the wind, you're doing it wrong. I mean, assuming you're out in public! If not, I don't care how many pages you have flapping around. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I think the photo is discreet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I think the way you did it is absolutely fine. I think it is entirely different when the mom ends up looking more like an exhibitionist than a nursing mom. It's the "flaunting it" aspect of BFing that I object to in public. If a woman sees that she is drawing a lot of attention to herself, it may be a signal that she should cover up a bit. Q: in all the pictures that I posted, are the women "flaunting it"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I think the way you did it is absolutely fine. I think it is entirely different when the mom ends up looking more like an exhibitionist than a nursing mom. It's the "flaunting it" aspect of BFing that I object to in public. If a woman sees that she is drawing a lot of attention to herself, it may be a signal that she should cover up a bit. Those women would find some other way to make themselves the center of attention. Breastfeeding is NOT the issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Personally, I just adore these two pictures. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 (edited) Q: in all the pictures that I posted, are the women "flaunting it"? Is this flaunting it? http://www.babble.com/celebrity/celebrity-moms/public-breastfeeding-pictures-celeb-moms-photos/?page=1 How about this? http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_0EsDVOhlY9E/S-8gIW1vwtI/AAAAAAAAAS0/DGpCO6P94VQ/s1600/marialactans.jpg Edited January 17, 2012 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Personally, I just adore these two pictures. :D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Personally, I just adore these two pictures. :D Have you seen this one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Is this flaunting it?http://www.babble.com/celebrity/celebrity-moms/public-breastfeeding-pictures-celeb-moms-photos/?page=1 Not imo :) Love the Lucy Lawless pic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 If that isn't discreet and needs to be covered with a blanket perhaps we should require all feeding of infants to take place under those huge nursing shields. I am offended when I see bottles as I realize the mom for whatever reason didn't nurse and can eat san blanket over head my child should have the same right. * Yes I am being sarcastic but if a bottle feeding baby doesn't need a blanket over his head neither does my baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Really, some of you should carry blankets to put over your head in case you see something in public that offends you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Really, some of you should carry blankets to put over your head in case you see something in public that offends you. If it doesn't see me then I don't see it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Look up Respect the Breast on Facebook. There are some comparisons of what is "acceptable" and "not acceptable" on FB. Apparently, you can show as much boob as you want on FB as long as an infant isn't attached to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 It seems plenty covered to me! Those of you who use blankets or nursing covers, your kids go along with it? How? What's your secret? My DD(just about 3 months) cries, screams, pops off, and claws at the blanket if I even attempt a light weight blanket anywhere near her head. My DS just popped off and silently refused to latch back on until I took the blanket off. I can't seem to find a graceful way to be fully discreet/covered. She hates slings too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Have you seen this one? Ha! No! Really, some of you should carry blankets to put over your head in case you see something in public that offends you. Word! My son would NEVER have allowed me to put a blanket over his head. He would just kick and thrash and make a fuss that was WAY more obvious than me just quietly nursing him sans blanket. He also wouldn't take a bottle of expressed milk which was very difficult for me to try to get anyway, so after my early days of trying to not HAVE to nurse in public more than necessary, I just shrugged and did what I had to do to feed my child (not in a nasty bathroom somewhere either!) and if people didn't like it, they could look away. It's easy in theory to say "just bring a blanket or a bottle." Not always so easy in practice, and, really, why should we even have to?! You see more at any beach, club, or music video for crying out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 It seems plenty covered to me! Those of you who use blankets or nursing covers, your kids go along with it? How? What's your secret? My DD(just about 3 months) cries, screams, pops off, and claws at the blanket if I even attempt a light weight blanket anywhere near her head. My DS just popped off and silently refused to latch back on until I took the blanket off. I can't seem to find a graceful way to be fully discreet/covered. She hates slings too. Luck? A child who is much more interested in her food than what is going on around her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMDRAD Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I've always used a nursing cover when I breastfed in public... which has been everywhere. Yes, people knew I was nursing but I was more comfortable being covered up. I see nothing wrong with the OP's picture though. I still can't grasp why certain men in my life get so incredibly uncomfortable when they are around nursing women (that are covered) but never say a word at the porn, I mean ads at the malls. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Those of you who use blankets or nursing covers, your kids go along with it? How? What's your secret? It really has depended on the child for me. My girls would have nothing to do with a blanket over, and the youngest hated the sling (I didn't use it much with older dd, as I had an older, non-walking, baby too, and could never master double slinging). Now, their brother between them seemed to find the blanket his own personal fort. He was happy under there even when he wasn't eating. I remember flying with him at a month old, and the attendant insisted i couldn't cover him during takeoff and landing (she wasn't thrilled with me nursing him), he fussed when she whipped the blanket off and didn't stop until I was allowed to put it back on when we had reached what she deemed a good altitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When I had my first, the lactation consultant at the hospital was impressed with my newbie technique, which I credit entirely to an SCA baroness, who'd unbutton and flop out whenever her young one required it, even if she was sitting on a throne and conducting court. Apparently it freaked a few people out at first, but it's easier to get used to these things than tackle her about them. :tongue_smilie: She's probably the only person I'd ever seen breastfeeding without being so discreet I couldn't pick up any hints. Actually, she might have been the only person I had seen breastfeeding. Anyway, it created a nice culture, we could all sit about and chat and feed our babies together. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Really, some of you should carry blankets to put over your head in case you see something in public that offends you. This has always been my favorite solution. (Ultra-modest dresser, never calls attention to herself in public, still breastfed four babies for a total of 9 years of my life and never used a Hooter Hider, because breastfeeding is not immodest. Most of the time I looked like the photo in the OP. I always preferred to nurse newborns in the sling, but when they outgrew that I didn't care.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Really, some of you should carry blankets to put over your head in case you see something in public that offends you. This. There's nothing wrong with being "extra discreet" for one's own personal comfort (I'm a belly roll hider, myself), but eating is eating. I don't hide my 1yo even though many may find the way he eats potatoes disgusting. He's a baby. That's how he does it. To be offended by the spuds in his hair is just ridiculous. And it's no different than if he just happened to slip off a nipple unexpectedly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I just take a regular man's "wife-beater" tank top in XS and cut slits in it where my booKs are so that I don't have to spend all that extra money on nursing tanks. I wear these under my regular shirts to avoid my belly hanging out. That is a Pinterest-worthy genius idea! Why didn't I think of that back in the baby days? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 That's discreet to me. I've done it in conservative countries, and never had anyone throw anything at me or insult me, so I think it counts as discreet. In public I would usually either be sitting on the ground with my knees up, or at a table, with the table partically blocking view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I want a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I just don't think it's a big deal. I guess I'm glad that my eldest was born in California and the younger two were born in Germany. I have nursed *literally* around the world and it was never an issue for me. Nobody ever said anything to me. Some old ladies got quite a surprise when they went in for a better look at the "sleeping" baby, but even they never disapproved. Honestly the US is just too uptight about breasts, in general. It isn't a big deal in most of the world to see a flash of breast. I saw a woman, covered head to toe (veil and all) in Egypt nursing in public with baby uncovered. It's not a big deal people, get over yourselves. Yes, many people don't seem to realize that even in places where they are weird about modesty, they actually breastfeed in public more openly than we do. I just can't get my knickers in a twist about exposed breasts in that context - it seems like people have just equated breasts in a sexual context to other situations, when really they are more of a multifunctional body part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I want a baby. Me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 You don't take off your shirt? :lol: Ahhhh...love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I want to say that I cover with my shirt like you do OP and if someone's offended by it, then I guess that's their problem, not mine OR my baby's. It looks fine to my hon! Oh, and there's no way my 7 month old dd would let me put a blanket over her head while she nurses...ummm no... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I think the photo is fine. FWIW, I don't think nursing covers are discreet - to me they scream out "baby nursing here!" ITA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 That is discreet to me. Nursing women are heroes in my book and people ought to get over their hang-ups and support what is the most natural thing in the world. Bill :iagree::iagree: I tell my dh if you don't like it don't look! I know there is more to it than that, but still. I nurse often like the picture shown (or with a nursing cover) out in public and grant it my little is no longer a baby, but it amazes my kids how often they hear someone muttering under their breath about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 For the photo example to be discrete if in public, a shawl or something would be draped over baby and mom's shoulder. At home or a friend's house - plenty discrete. This is my dh's opinion. He's 100% supportive of breastfeeding. However he's seen our children pull suddenly off me and I was exposed. I always covered with a thin cover. But at home I never covered up, unless someone other than family or close friends were visiting. I always used the shirt I was wearing to cover up my breast. And I always had on a cami or tank under for the tummy exposure :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 That is discreet to me. Nursing women are heroes in my book and people ought to get over their hang-ups and support what is the most natural thing in the world. Bill Hey, something we agree on! :D Have you ever seen that photo of Hugo Chavez talking to a woman that appeared on the front page of a newspaper in Venezuela? They are standing in a crowd chatting and she has a baby nursing on one arm with her bOOk right out of the op of her tank top and she has the baby's shoes in the other hand. Mr Chavez doesn't seem to notice, and the caption in the paper said something like "the President talks to a citizen". I would love to have an attitude more like that here. From what I can tell looking at old photos, it actually used to exist to a degree in America before formula changed people's expectations. Right on! Breasts feed babies. That's nothing new. ;) Can I ask, please...how is that more discreet? If it doesn't change how much skin is showing, what difference does it make? wouldn't that just change how much of the baby's head is showing, not how much of the mom is showing? And if that is the case, what is the point, exactly? People always say, "I'm ok with women nursing in public, as long as they are modest/discreet" followed by how they don't want to see someone's breast. But in this picture the breast is not visible....so is that not the real issue at all? There must be some other reason they want a woman to use some kind of blanket? And yell, "Hey, look, I'm breastfeeding, check it out!" :) That's what those nursing shields or blankets are for. "Woo-hoo, everybody look at me! I'm breastfeeding! I know you can't see it, but you'll still be thinking about it!" Not exactly discreet, imo. Really, some of you should carry blankets to put over your head in case you see something in public that offends you. :lol: The OP's photo is what I aim for. I'm not out to flaunt anything. My goal is to feed a hungry baby. The end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 The photo is how I nursed and I received only one comment in all those years. I was in public (*gasp* ;)) and the comment was a 'way to go' from a bre3stfeeding advocate. The only comment I got was on a plane. We were in those front seats with an elderly man (a Mr. Ruth, said he was related to Babe) who started to cry because it reminded him of his wife and the babies, 40 years ago. The tears just streamed down his face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 This is my dh's opinion. He's 100% supportive of breastfeeding. However he's seen our children pull suddenly off me and I was exposed. I always covered with a thin cover. But at home I never covered up, unless someone other than family or close friends were visiting. I always used the shirt I was wearing to cover up my breast. And I always had on a cami or tank under for the tummy exposure :p I generally keep on hand on the edge of my shirt, ready to pull it down the second I feel them start to let go. I suppose their might be, worst case scenario, a FRACTION of a second where skin is exposed, but at that point you would have to actively be looking at my breast to see it, and it would be so quick you'd need instant replay to be sure of what you saw, lol. It does require more attention than nursing with a cover I suppose, but I am willing to do that, as I feel the cover draws more attention to me than not. Oh, and when she was an infant I did use a blanket as sort of a screen, but it was ineffective....I only used it to advertise "hey, I'm about to breastfeed so if you don't like it turn away now". I figured that gave people warning so they were not surprised by anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 The only comment I got was on a plane. We were in those front seats with an elderly man (a Mr. Ruth, said he was related to Babe) who started to cry because it reminded him of his wife and the babies, 40 years ago. The tears just streamed down his face. Awwwwwwww Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3littlekeets Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 This is a perfect example of discreet breastfeeding. :lol::lol::lol::lol: (whoa, how do I make this smaller!) http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.296901505.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 This is exactly how I discretely nurse babies, and your daughter's chunky little arm makes me want to come over and give her a nibble! Oh, wait, you were asking about discreteness..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 If the baby is the only one sprayed with breast milk, then you're discrete enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 That is a Pinterest-worthy genius idea! Why didn't I think of that back in the baby days? :thumbup: "Pinterest-worthy!" Love it! I only did it 'cause I was too cheap to buy a nursing shirt. lol I have heard other women tell me they did similar things, but even now I still use this idea! I want a baby. Me too! And I use a cover 100% of the time when I'm out. I have an Udder Cover that hooks around my neck, so it can't be pulled off, but there's also a little opening where I can look straight down and baby can see me. This helps deter some of the pulling, but if they were persistent, I would pull their hands off and say, "no" firmly and then tuck the corners of the cover under my arms so they couldn't pull it off. They were still free to let go and move their heads, jabber at me (through the opening) or what have you, squirm their legs, but they couldn't get ahold of the edge of the cover to be able to pull it off. When they got older and were even more persistent, I would make take them off the breast, and put them down and say, "Don't pull the blanket/cover," give them a minute to pout, reattach and continue. After 1 or 2 times of this, they would stop pulling it. This is for my kids that were over a year old though. My DS was the worst squirmer of the three and this worked with him. My youngest is 18 months old and I still use a cover over her when we are out and about. She is used to it now, I suppose. I just want to add that while I use a cover all of the time when we are out, I don't necessarily think that every woman should if she can stay covered with just her shirt. I'm not that woman though. I could never figure out how to do that without exposing more than I wanted to. I'm NAK as we speak and my DD has her hand around the edge of my shirt, pulling it up and down. If we weren't at home, someone would be getting QUITE an eyeful. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 This is a perfect example of discreet breastfeeding. :lol::lol::lol::lol: (whoa, how do I make this smaller!) http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.296901505.jpg :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 If the baby is the only one sprayed with breast milk, then you're discrete enough. My DS used to pull away right when my milk was letting down to look at something. Yikes. With my overactive letdown, I could shoot veeery far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) Oh my God. I love the nipple hat. Ha ha If the baby is the only one sprayed with breast milk, then you're discrete enough. I've threatened an older kid to stop bothering the baby. They got sprayed once. Heh Edited January 18, 2012 by stripe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 DISCREET. Discreet, discreet, discreet. Thank you. I wanted to say it and am glad someone did! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Oh my God. I love the nipple hat. Ha ha My brother posted the link for the hats on my Facebook page. I thought they were hilarious. My BIL said that they were sooo offensive. I'm terribly tempted to buy one for this baby and show up with it at a family function. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I just tried to say discreet several times. I was trying to be discreet. ;) I love the boob hat too! I looooove babies, but I don't think I want another. I did have pangs today when a friend posted a beautiful ocean swimming belly shot of another friend who is 37 weeks pregnant with her sixth. But, the desire isn't really *there*. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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