PLEASE tell me if sports are 'necessary'.

[Guest Janet in NC]

My husband and I usually agree on everything re:parenting except this. My 9 year old son is not athletically inclined at all. He has tried soccer and now is in baseball. It is heartbreaking to see him out there do terrible. My husband thinks it is important to be involved in sports and be on a team.

 

I just feel like he is learning "what he is not good at". That is hard. He does very well academically. We believe in being physically fit and encourage exercise.

 

I'm just tired of putting in the time, money, etc. for something he just is not gifted in. Or is there another physical activity that you all would suggest?

 

Is this necessary?? Please help! Janet

[Angel in FL]

No, sports aren't necessary for every child. I have two very athletic sons and one who is not. It was totally frustrating for him.

[Julie in Austin]

Not necessary. However, I wonder if you have considered a martial art or swim team or something else--sports don't have to be teams and they don't have to be competitive. I would keep looking until you find something that clicks.

[Plucky]

You are married to my dh. No sports aren't necessary especially the super competitive type for non-athletic kids. My kids do homeschool sports for soccer, baseball, football, volleyball, etc. I think it's nice to know how to play and know the rules. It's also good for exercise. Does he know how to swim?

 

My oldest is just now coming into his own with athletics, he's more a brainiac. So sports was never a high priority of mine. I'm discovering one of my boys is athletic and loves it. So for some sports is important. I think men get caught up in what they had with sports or wish they had and want their sons to excell at sports.

 

More importantly is if he's getting enough exercise. You might be able to find a happy medium like I did by homeschool sport classes that are more about exposure to sports and moving than being a super jock.

[elegantlion]

My son did Y league t-ball for two years. We tried baseball last year and he hated it. He's just not a team sport kind of guy.

 

Have you tried something that is more individual, IE: swimming or martial arts?

 

I don't think sports are for everyone.

[Jen500]

Maybe he's not into team sports. Our family isn't. We all enjoy riding our bikes through the trails and the neighborhood. Or hiking in the summer. It's good physical activity and we can do it together if we want.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

My husband and I usually agree on everything re:parenting except this. My 9 year old son is not athletically inclined at all. He has tried soccer and now is in baseball. It is heartbreaking to see him out there do terrible. My husband thinks it is important to be involved in sports and be on a team.

 

I just feel like he is learning "what he is not good at". That is hard. He does very well academically. We believe in being physically fit and encourage exercise.

 

I'm just tired of putting in the time, money, etc. for something he just is not gifted in. Or is there another physical activity that you all would suggest?

 

Is this necessary?? Please help! Janet

 

Well, it sounds like it's necessary to your husband. It sounds like he feels more strongly about than you do that he should be on a team.

 

If time and scheduling permits, I'd put this on your dh's shoulders to find a way to get him more prepped for a sport. If he's going to be in baseball, he should be out with dad playing catch. If in soccer, they should be kicking it around in the back yard or at the local playground. I remember when ds was little and in sports and his dad was either deployed or working the twelve hour days plus PT and simply didn't do this. I was overwhelmed with all the mom things I had to do and just could not do all the dad things, too. We cheated him of the chance to get good at something physical with a specific skill set, inclined or no. (And he definitely wasn't a natural athlete.) Big regret.

 

I think team sports are a great thing. I also think it is vital that dads make these kinds of decisions for sons. He knows what it's like to be a guy while we're just on the outside looking in. Julie already suggested a martial arts or swim team. Remember it takes a long time to develop a skill, so please do give him time and outside opportunity to "get there."

[mcconnellboys]

I was just going to suggest this, as well. My older son never did very well in any sport except martial arts until we got him into swimming. He has a lot of sensory deprivation issues and just was not coordinated at all.

 

Swimming turned out to be the best physical therapy we ever paid for! It helped him to develop equal coordination for both sides of his body, as well as upper and lower body (well, we're still working on lower, LOL)....

 

It's a great sport that you do alone, mostly, although there are some relay competitions available from time to time if you choose to do them. It builds fitness for life and is something, like running, that a person can continue to do until they die. It's a lot easier on joints than most other rigorous workouts (unless you're swimming for serious competition, which may wear out shoulder joints eventually).

 

A lot of kids who have issues that preclude them from doing other things can usually do either marshall arts, swimming, or both!

[Remudamom]

My dh was a high school jock, went to college on a full scholarship and held a world record for a time. He thinks sports are a huge waste of time.

[swellmomma]

Team sports may not be necessary but I think a physically active activity is very necessary. MY kids do gymnastics, rock climbing, swimming, etc in addition to team sports usually, this year we took a season off baseball and soccer so no team sports. My dd is quite hopeless in baseball but she has fun and I think learning sportmanship in a team setting is important, but I balance it with activities she is strong in, both physical and fine arts. Look into martial arts(my son is asking for tae kwon do), gymnastics, swimming, rock climbing(this was a great one the year we did it), and other active but solo activities.

[Hannah]

My dd is very similar to your son. She's not "sporty" at all, and in any situation where she has to compete, it just shows up her lack of skill and aptitude. She has never enjoyed ball-sports - even just playing in the yard.

 

I do agree with you that one should be physically fit, and that regular exercise is a very good habit to acquire at a young age, but it does not have to be in a team-sport.

 

Dd has found a passion in horse-riding and rides twice a week. She also takes swimming lessons twice a week. She is learning correct strokes and a love of swimming as a form of exercise from a very gentle teacher. The aim is not for her to ever swim competitively.

 

So, no, I don't believe team sports are necessary, but the habit of regular exercise is. The ideal is to find something that you really enjoy. For dd it is horse-riding (which is very affordable in the rural area we live in). For others it may be a martial art, dancing, going for long hikes in the mountains, running. Provide him with other options if they are available to you.

[mommylaw]

Well, it sounds like it's necessary to your husband. It sounds like he feels more strongly about than you do that he should be on a team.

 

 

I think team sports are a great thing. I also think it is vital that dads make these kinds of decisions for sons. He knows what it's like to be a guy while we're just on the outside looking in. Julie already suggested a martial arts or swim team. Remember it takes a long time to develop a skill, so please do give him time and outside opportunity to "get there."

 

:iagree: Great advice!

[Jan in SC]

Another great life-long sport is tennis. It is mostly individual, occasionally doubles, and it is great for hand eye coordination and exercise. It can be very inexpensive and there is a huge boom is US tennis, so there are courts almost everywhere.

 

I'm sure you are not like this, but don't do what my SIL did... don't make your child stop a sport because you are embarrassed by his ability level. One of my children can barely walk without falling down, but he loves swim team. I have a hard time watching sometimes, but when he has that big smile on his face it makes it worthwhile! (Especially when he finished way later than everyone else!)

[Georgie]

My son may not be the best, but he enjoys playing. He likes to play catch and hit the ball, but found that on a baseball team things moved to slow for him. Even though he is not the best he loves playing on a basketball team. Play because it is something you enjoy. Without the fun, why participate?

 

Have you tried golf or tennis? They are more of an individual sport. Some kids like those better. What we do stress is that even though you may find one sport frustrating, there are a lot out there you might find fun to participate in. It is a great way to meet others with the same interests and have a great time.

[Danestress]

Under most circumstances, I would certainly require boys and girls both be involved in a sport. It woudn't have to be a team sport. I'd be fine with long distance running or an individual sport like ballet, gymnastics, tennis or swimming (which is a team sport in a way, but you know what I mean).

 

I think for us and for most families, a father's participation in a son's sport is very rewarding for both of them. My DH plays tennis with one son several times a week, and took up swimming on an adult team just so that he could "relate" to our other sons' swimming. Maybe that's part of why sports are important for your DH.

 

I believe sports give kids some very important things that are hard to get elsewhere. I also think music is necessary. And art. I'm not all that sporty myself - I just want my children to experience effort, competition, success and failure and to grow in physical competence

 

Anyway, I would back out of this and let your husband handle it. Your son is only 9. He will improve. Let him try several different sports. Make lots of opportunities to watch sports on tv and to go to some sporting events, and maybe you will find your son drawn to something. I say this absolutely LOATHING sporting events, lol, but maybe Dad could take him!

[Vida Winter]

If he wants to do team sports I would let him, but if he doesn't, there is no way I would force him. There are many physical sports that he can do that are non-competitive and very enjoyable. By that I mean, you are basically competing against yourself. If it is avaialble in your area I would encourage Aikido or another martial art. Swimming is another area that he might like.

 

My girls love team sports. Me -- bleh. I am so glad my parents did not make me participate. I would have been miserable.

[Trivium Academy]

I don't think sports are necessary but I do think "team" participation in some way is, especially long-term team work with other people outside the family. Isn't that what sports are supposed to accomplish anyways? Well, that and physical exercise.

[Melinda in VT]

I wouldn't force a child to participate in team sports if they made him or her miserable.

 

However

 

I have found that my kids can enjoy being on a team even if it is clear to me that they are not one of the stronger players. I am careful not to let my opinion of their skill level keep them from playing when they want to play.

 

I think soccer is a great sport because there is not as much focus on one child at a time. It's easier for the less athletic kids to have fun without feeling like they are letting people down.

 

We have kept our participation limited to the non-travel teams (easy because the kids have never asked to be on the travel teams). They have all chosen to sign up every year.

 

Now that DS will be starting middle school, he has chosen not to do soccer in the fall. Instead, he's going to do cross-country because he has recognized that he is not one of the stronger soccer players but he is one of the better runners.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

We 'forced' our son into swimming. Just like mcconnellboys's kid, he had sensory issues, and I was hoping swimming would help.

Eventually, he asked to join the swim team. At that point, we made some discoveries..

 

Yes, sports of any kind are a necessity. Some kids will exercise naturally - like our neighbour who's always on his bike, and others need to be pushed by a coach - like my son. Today, I was putting sunscreen on him, and my little 10yo has a 6pack! Wow! Without the swim coach, he'd be a coach potato ;-)

 

Second discovery I made is that, as homeschoolers, our kids don't tend to be in competitive situations very often. Not even the competitive aspect, but the evaluation aspect. They don't tend to have exams very often. My son couldn't deal with the pressure. He's got to learn that somewhere.

[Sunshine State Sue]

I am an athletically challenged. Dh and ds are naturally athletic.

 

I realize that part of my athletically challenged nature is due to lack of athletic education. I also know that I am better at individual sports than I am at team sports. I enjoy swimming, some dancing, martial arts, hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, yoga.

 

Dh does well at all sports. While he does well with team sports, he is an introvert and leans towards individual sports.

 

Ds loves team sports. He is totally uninterested in individual sports. He is an extrovert, which helps to explain that.

 

As others have said, I think it's important to find some athletic activities that your child enjoys. Explore many avenues.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

How does your ds feel about it? Does it make him miserable, or just you? ;)

 

Personally, I see the benefits of organized, team sports. BUT, I don't believe they hold the exclusive to any of those benefits.

 

There are many, many ways to be physically fit, besides team sports (swimming, martial arts, climbing, track, gymnastics, hiking, etc).

 

There are many ways to learn to work together as a team that don't require athletic ability (robotics, debate, drama, chorus, etc.)

 

There are opportunities for competition that don't involve physical contact (track, swimming, chess club).

 

There are many ways for a dad to be involved in his kid's life that don't involve competitive team sports: Scouting, camping, hiking, throwing a ball in the yard, building models, just hanging out.

 

Competitive team sports were never a part of my life, or my brothers' lives, and we never missed them. My kids have never shown any interest in them at all, and that's just fine with me. There are so many other things to do on weekends, and evenings, than sit out in the hot sun on the sidelines of the soccer field. I see my brother's family, trying to juggle their lives around ever-changing practice times (very disorganized sports), giving up every minute of free time for their kids' sports. The kids love it, and the family is 'in it together", and it works for them. If my kids loved it, I would probably make it work for us too. But, I certainly wouldn't push a child into it if they didn't like it. It just causes frustration for everyone concerned. It's not worth it, in my opinion.

 

I do see reasons for pushing a child into a particular exercise for therapeutic reasons, like those who have used swimming to help with sensory issues. I have pushed my dd into ballet to help with a hip rotation problem she's had since birth. The doctor recommended skiing or skating, but she's too chicken. Ballet and Celtic dance have helped her dramatically. She absolutely loves Celtic dance, and working together with her dance mates (her "team"). She's even learning to enjoy the ballet. It's been good for her physically, socially, emotionally. She's stronger in many ways, and she got there without anyone throwing a ball at her. :)

[Kathy in MD]

Have you asked your dh why he considers team sports so important? If he can articulate some of the intangibles that he thinks your ds can get out of team sports, you may possibly satisfy some or all of them in other ways.

 

My ds has been dragging my dh and me screaming and kicking into team sports -- and FOOTBALL of all things. ;) I'm finally realizing that there are good intangibles to come out of it - ds having others depending on him to do his best, having to pick himself up after failing a play and not let it interfer with his next play, having to coordinate his actions with others, having to learn plays and letting his coach yell at him for not focusing :) .

 

If you and your dh do decide to try another team sport, look for a swim team. Therapists often recommend swimming for coordination problems and there's no ball involved for people who struggle with hand-eye coordination. Also what about a flag football team (don't worry, no tackling) where he can play lineman? Your ds wouldn't have to worry so much about dealing with a ball(eye-hand coordination). Another alternative might be a track team if there's one nearby.

 

One final thought, it hurts to see our children fail. But sometimes the best lesson they can learn is how to work through failure to succeed. Sometimes people gifted academically never learn this skill till they're out in the real world. However, before setting your ds at a difficult goal, I'd make sure that the difficulty is one that your ds is capable of eventually conquerering .

[Plaid Dad]

I haven't read the other responses, but no, I don't think team sports are a necessary part of education. Physical fitness is. Our dd is not inclined toward team sports, but she loves swimming. She bikes, she walks all over with us in town. That is sufficient for us.

[Laura K (NC)]

My non-athletic son enjoys exercise so we've encouraged him in individual sports like biking and running.

 

I can see your husband's point about being on a team. Boys do get something out of the cooperation and "team"work that is necessary for team sports. My boys also get additional value out of being on a team with a male coach who will push them farther than their soft mother will. :) My older boy also benefits from being on a homeschool co-ed swim and cross country team. It allows him social time around girls, which we don't get much of in our house since we have all boys. Girls aren't quite so scary to him and he is able to interact with girls who aren't just trying to look good -- they are real. The social aspect of these homeschool sports teams are absolutely excellent. I don't know if I could homeschool my sons in high school without sports teams.

 

I advise your husband to explore all kinds of different sports for your son in the next few years. Around here my non-athletic son avoids basketball and baseball because those are the most competitive around here and the boys are trained very young and very hard, so it's difficult to break into. If your husband explores different sports with your son, they will both have the important father-son time that is so important, and your son might come to enjoy the time together, and so the sport. If your husband is interested in sports he might have to coach something and offer it to homeschoolers in order to make the opportunity available. That's how it goes around here, anyway, and our county has some really great sports teams because many dads (and moms) feel that sports are very important for their kids.

 

My sons were all in cub scouts and cub scouts is a great way to introduce kids to a lot of different kinds of physical skills. They have a beltloop and pin program that teaches kids the fundamentals of all different kinds of sports ... snow skiing, ultimate frisbee, badminton and tennis, bowling, marbles, and on and on. Cub scouts, I've found, are sometimes good at one particular sport but not at all of them, so the boys enter in to these new skills on an even ground so nobody looks particularly clumsy. These sports take a dad (or mom) to take the initiative to offer them, since scouts is a volunteer-run organization. A 9yo can start cub scouts.

 

All my boys do sports of one kind or another. I do think they are necessary.

[Kim in Appalachia]

then I would look for something your ds could do. Swimming, tennis, and martial arts are all good ideas. My oldest son is not very cordinated, but does well with swimming, same for my oldest dd. I don't think she could play many sports well, but she can swim.

 

I've never thought sports were important, and I would skip them, but my dh really wants the kids to be active. And he feels sports are a good way for that to happen.

 

I know a few dads who insist their kids play all the "traditional" guy sports, no matter how bad their kid is. It's a guy thing. :tongue_smilie:

[Sweetpeach]

My dh was a high school jock, went to college on a full scholarship and held a world record for a time. He thinks sports are a huge waste of time.

 

Coming from a gal that played hoops my entire undergrad career, was awarded numerous regional awards and even a national award my senior year, lived and died and breathed basketball . . . I agree . . . big waste of time.

 

I'll put my kids in tennis, rowing, tae-kwon-doh, swim team . . . and if they're dying to play a team-sport, then sure . . . but not because I think they'll miss out if they don't.

 

Team sports are highly over-rated, imho. Inexperienced coaches, over-the-top parents, spoiled kids . . . ummmmmmmmm, no thank you.

 

Ok folks, I'm off my soap box.

 

Tricia

[LG Gone Wild]

I just feel like he is learning "what he is not good at". That is hard. He does very well academically. We believe in being physically fit and encourage exercise.

 

I'm just tired of putting in the time, money, etc. for something he just is not gifted in. Or is there another physical activity that you all would suggest?

 

Is this necessary?? Please help! Janet

 

 

your kid does stink at it ;). I don't think it is a good idea to only learn what we are naturally gifted in. When I was a little girl, I was awful at games and stuff. Now, as an adult, I'm really glad I learned how to play all those sports. I'm disappointed that ps kids today probably aren't receiving the P.E. that I got as a kid.

 

Team sports are necessary but you don't need to do them ALL the time. Perhaps do one every so often. You know, once in awhile, just to shake things up. Down the road, perhaps your son can do weight lifting or running for his health.

[Parrothead]

I'm with Suzanne on this. There are lots of individual sports/recreational activities that can be done solo to promote physical fitness. There are lots of ways to be part of a team without sports.

 

For years my dh was disappointed that our dd is a girly girl. She wasn't interested in sports at all. Then this past year she tried soccer and basketball. She isn't all that good at either, but she had fun and enjoyed the experience. Dh on the other hand was thrilled.

 

I told him that we had to follow her lead on this or she would learn to hate sports in general. When she was ready to try she did. Now, not all kids will be ready to try. I think they should be shown other options for being part of a team and working with others.

[Donovans4]

I haven't read all the responses, but my reaction to your question is no, (organized) sports are not necessary, but physical exercise is. My dd and ds play on a rec soccer team instead of the "elite" teams and they play other rec sports as well. However, we also like to go on long bike rides or walks, and I think they are learning that exercise is a good, fun thing! My suggestion is to find something you all can enjoy together such as shooting hoops, walking, biking, swimming, etc and have a good time while also getting some exercise!

 

LauraD in MN

[Tracey in TX]

Fitness and a team mentality are very important. If he doesn't like team sports, consider involving him in Destination Imagination, theatre, or some other team activity. It's essential that kids know how to work together, problem solve together, form leaders and switch roles, etc. Sports are great for doing these as well as physical fitness. As long as he's active, try a different approach to the same goal.

[Mrs Mungo]

My husband and I usually agree on everything re:parenting except this. My 9 year old son is not athletically inclined at all. He has tried soccer and now is in baseball. It is heartbreaking to see him out there do terrible. My husband thinks it is important to be involved in sports and be on a team.

 

Why does your hubby find it necessary? If he is thinking about the athletic aspect, there are plenty of individual sports where your son would feel less pressure. If your husband likes the "team" aspect maybe you could find (or start) an academic team.

[Broccoli]

structured sports are not necessary. My 1 year old daugher is like that, she never wanted to do any longer than a few weeks.

 

Now she has inliners and a bike and it's all good.

[DB in NJ]

My oldest son is not athletic AT ALL. He has never played a team sport, even though his father was an athlete in school, and we offered and encouraged him to join a team. He was just never interested. He was a boy scout for a few years, though.

 

As a teenager, he has kind of come out of his shell and has discovered go-kart racing (http://www.endurancekarting.com). He mows lawns to pay for his race entry fees. We pay to get him to the races (he only does about 3 races a year, but we have to travel to each race). He has also paid for and taught himself to play the bass guitar.

 

Team sports aren't everything. And I'm of the opinion that if you try to force a kid to participate in them when they are not so inclined, you can do more harm than good.

 

My 9 yo has played t-ball and baseball. He wasn't very good, and he decided not to join the team this year. That's fine.

 

My dd is the most athletic: 5 years of gymnastics and going on 3 years of horseback riding (pony club).

 

Good luck!

[nmoira]

It is heartbreaking to see him out there do terrible. My husband thinks it is important to be involved in sports and be on a team.

We're trying to get the kids involved in enjoyable activities they can keep up with in later life or activities that are just FUN. They both do swimming lessons (noncompetitive), and as soon as my youngest turns 4, they'll both be in Aikido (a gentle, respectful dojo that isn't big on belt promotion). They both do noncompetitive performance theatre/trapeze/acrobatics (fun, fun, fun), and in a week they're starting noncompetitive gymnastics for strength and co-ordination (I know several children who attend the gym and they all love it). My older child is less than graceful, but thrives in a noncompetitive atmosphere. My younger is more in tune with her body, but I still don't want her in competitive activities -- I try to emphasize with both kids that they are only trying to better themselves.

 

I'm just tired of putting in the time, money, etc. for something he just is not gifted in. Or is there another physical activity that you all would suggest?

I take it your son is not enjoying himself? Would your husband be open to noncompetitive activities? Would your DS?

[Patricia in WA]

Pam, this is great advice! I do not think team sports are the end all and be all but physical activity is a necessary part of a boys life. I will say my older son's handwriting improved dramatically the Spring he played baseball. Pam is absolutely correct in that it takes practice and lots of it. Practicing with dad is even better. I kick the soccer ball around with my boys but dad is willing to throw himself after the ball and make amazing dives to keep them from scoring. Not quite the same with mom.

 

Some children are naturally athletic. That doesn't mean they should be the only ones on team sports. My youngest is very athletic and he has really shined helping his team mates understand the game better and by passing the ball to them so they have a chance to score.

 

Now I am not saying this will only benefit boys either as my dd is also an athlete and is her happiest when she is striving to meet a goal, and pushing her body to do more. She is the swimmer in the family and it did take us a while to find her thing.

 

Basically don't give up. Find what makes him happy. If he is happy playing baseball but is not coordinated yet, give him time and lots of opportunity to practice.

 

HTHs

[...................]

Sports are not necessary-except when it's important to Dad.

 

Remember your husband wants things to be able to do with his son. CHeering him on in sports, talking about sports, etc. is perhaps something your dh understands and wants to be a part of.

 

I have two words for you:

 

SWIM TEAM

 

Any kid who has stamina and some small amount of desire can make it on swim team!! I loved it. I highly recommend it. You don't need to be coordinated (though that helps a little) and you don't need to love the sport itself. You buy him one of those underwater headsets and he'll get a few lessons and hopefully move up- if he gets faster and faster, he will begin to enjoy it. If not, by then you can say that you've tried everything, and then perhaps your dh will also finally get a clue that your kid isn't atheletic. Or your kid will do well and they'll have something special together, to talk about.

[Michelle in MO]

My husband always loved team sports, so he did try to shuttle our daughters towards those types of activities. Our oldest girl, though, really dislikes sports, and in that respect she takes after me.

 

We've finally settled on karate, which is more individualized. My oldest tolerates it but doesn't love it. We have her do it just for general physical fitness.

 

I understand that there is tremendous benefit in team sports, but not every kid is cut out for these. I think physical fitness is the overall goal. Many people grow up to be fine, upstanding, well-rounded adults without ever participating in team sports.

 

Best wishes!

[datmama4]

We have children who love to play but who are not gifted athletically. They are perfectly comfortable playing with close friends, tossing a football, playing kickball, etc., but the thought of being on an organized team just turns them off. They feel "everyone knows how to do this except me," even when they know this is not the case.

 

However, they have loved swim lessons, hiking, bike riding, martial arts, and other things they can do without being on a team. We try to stress the physical fitness aspect rather than the competition. My husband and I have nothing against competitive sports/teams, but neither of us were good at these things as kids, so we can completely relate to the scary feeling of a team depending on our lack of ability. :tongue_smilie:

 

Lynda

[Pensguys]

I haven't read but a few of the posts and may have missed it, but how does your ds feel about? Does he LIKE baseball even though he may not be that good at it?

 

My younger ds L.O.V.E.S baseball but isn't very good at it...so he is fine playing on a team. He is getting better as he ages though because we're working him up skill-wise.

 

My older ds loves baseball as much as my younger and we'll be getting him some lessons the summer/fall and he will play Rec league again for a year, then we'll probably put him on a travel team...all in preparation for our homeschool baseball team that plays private schools in the area and around the state.

 

Necessary? I think only if a child likes the sport. There are many individual sports though....what about golf?

[Jackie in NE]

.... my dh does not.

 

I never played sports until high school, and then I had to work really hard at it. I couldn't dribble a basketball to save my life as a freshman..... in my senior year I received the MVP award for my team. It's all about setting and achieving goals in my mind. It's about deciding that something is worth working hard for, and then doing it.

 

I also ran track and cross country.... and even into my 30's it was SO, SO helpful to me as a person to be able to set goals that only depended on my individual effort. I got out of it what I put into it. I ended up qualifying for and running in the Boston marathon. Sports have been a huge part of my life, and I'm glad that I can tell my kids (especially my girls) that it's not about how you look, or how skinny you are.... it's about how strong you are as a person.... physically, emotionally, and mentally. I cannot tell you how many times I have faced physical or emotional hardship and told myself "If I can run a marathon in 3:25, then SURELY I can overcome this hardship in front of me".

 

Now, all that being said..... I know that sports are not for everyone. But I do believe that setting and attaining difficult goals are necessary in life. Sports, even in a team setting, where you can set individual goals, are one avenue to achieving that end.

 

Jackie

[Peela]

My son is very fussy about his sport. He loves Gymnastics. Hates martial arts. Loves soccer. Doesn't like baseball. Dd is fussy too.

We dont do team sports except at a homeschool coop (different sport each month or so) though because it eats into weekend time and thats when we do other things.

Gymnastics is fun and its not a team sport but it can or might not be competitive, depending on the kid.

Both kids do Scouts. Dd loves all the physical activities there, but doesn't enjoy a walk at home! Ds loves to walk with us, bike ride, skateboard, and surf...but doesnt like the sailing at Scouts much.

[sadiegirl]

My two boys started out playing tee-ball at ages 4 and 5. The next 2 years, they played soccer and my oldest played but his heart wasn't in it. The year my husband coached my boys' team was the time that I decided to talk with my son as he and my husband were butting heads about his ability and drive to play.

Essentially this is what I said...everyone has their passion and sometimes it takes a while to find yours. But in this day and age, you don't have to be a duck and follow the rest and play baseball, football, basketball. There are sooo many more sports and outdoor activities to be involved in and I told him one day, he will feel that excitement.

Well, that one day was the day his Grandpa asked him to go squirrel hunting. I saw a look in his eyes that told me he found it. He began to look at deer hunting, turkey hunting and fishing. His appreciation for nature and wildlife and the importance of conservation came with this love of the sport.

Oh, and then a couple of years ago, my husband introduced the boys to a sport that he said they could play for the rest of their days...golf. It's an activity that all generations can play and enjoy.

Open your husband and your son's eyes, as the wonderful Jim McKay(I'm so sad for his passing!!!!) used to say, "The Wide World of Sports" There is rock-climbing, kayaking, tennis, bowling, darts, 4-wheeling, cycling,etc. Athletes in all of these sports are winners!

[EKS]

My son is the same way. We have gone the martial arts/swimming route for both kids this past year and it has been MUCH better. Team sports aren't necessary (IMHO) but physical activity is.