Stay at home moms...

[LuvingLife]

..lots of questions for you all here!:D I know that this for me is a long way down the road, but I just wanted to ask a few questions anyways if you all wouldn't mind me asking. So here goes!

 

I know now adays with the way the economy is going it's getting harder and harder to stay home with just your husband supporting you (and maybe even sometimes yourself) and your family, but I would one day like to be a stay at home mom and not be a work-a-holic mom that I see so much of today. I used to have big plans on going to a top-notch college and getting a Ph.D and everything, but for some reason God has closed those doors, they have been "slammed shut" so to speak and I can't get them to open again. What has been opened for me is not exactly what I expected but now it is starting to make more sense. My dad has been helping me with Medical Billing and Coding and he said if I still wanted to go for it then to go for the two year program at the local tech school and get my 2 year degree so that one day I could stay home and maybe run my own buisness one day. I have also discovered my talent in helping others, and would like to join a good church that has heavy emphasis on these values and to mission work before I get married.

 

Ack I am rambling on now, but here are my list of questions lol. One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom? Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom? Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

Anything else you would like to add is apprecitated and this is for me, I needed some encouragement today to know that not going to a normal college and getting the college experience is okay, sometimes I struggle a lot with this.

 

(But I have a lot of things planned for before I get married and settle down to start a family, so I don't think I will be bored! :001_smile:)

 

Thanks for your input!!:bigear:

[SweetMissMagnolia]

don't work for pay-just housework and homeschoool--my kiddo was a preemie and I had a difficult pregnancy-had to quit work at 6months-and after he came out of NICU they wanted him out of daycare,so I stayed home. It was rough for a few years-we would have been better off financially with 2 incomes,but we both agreed that it was better to have kiddo at home. Today is his 9th birthday....:D I love it-loved being home with him when he was baby....don't really have enough ME/ALONE time....but that comes with being a mom/wife sometimes.....wouldn't want to be back out in the working world at the moment....

[Twilight Woods]

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

YES! I wish I had chosen this path sooner than I had.

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

Depends on what you mean by sacrafice? If you mean WANTS then yes. I cannot just go shopping and buy the next big thing out there. I also gave up my career..or rather it gave me up-I was laid off while 6 months pregnant with my youngest. BUT It was for the best and my children and DH are happier.

 

Do you work and homeschool?

I work PT overnights in an ER 3 days a week. I currently before/afterschool the girls.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?

 

No. I enjoy being home. If I find myself going crazy then I make plans with my friends.

[marcyg]

I am a stay at mom. I run 9 on-line business, run my house and do a lot of volunteer work, all while homeschooling. We are classical homeshoolers - so we have pretty intense days.

 

I love being a stay at home mom. There is sacrifice in everything. In my case, I sacrifice some of my "me" time. I make sure I take time on the weekend to make sure that the lesson plans are done for the following week, I update and post a calendar for the family, and then write my meal plans and any shopping lists.

 

That said, I make sure to carve out a little time every week away from the family. Sometimes it's dinner with my girlfriends or maybe just grabbing a book and heading out Starbucks for an hour or two.

 

We are never bored and always have something to do or someplace to go. The truth is, as homeschoolers, it is very easy to over schedule as there is always something or somewhere wonderful to go.

 

You don't need to make all of these decisions right away. You're putting way to much pressure on yourself. The simple fact is that as homeschoolers, we decide for ourselves what works best for our families - and most importantly, we have the ability to change what's not working.

[MeaganS]

I'm a SAHM, although my situation is a little different. My kids are still very young, and my husband and I married young. He's still going to school. Currently, we live off student loans because I'm home and he studies most waking hours. Financially, we try to keep our loans to the bare minimum, and we have been able to keep them at the estimated amount for a single student so far. At this point, my working potential isn't very great and it would almost cost as much in child care as I would make, so it isn't a huge sacrifice for me not to work.

 

Before we got married, we discussed it and we both wanted me to stay home with our children. It would have been a deal-breaker for me otherwise, and I'm glad my husband supports me in this decision. It would be incredibly difficult if he resented my being at home.

 

We've also planned for my husband to be in a career that should be able to support our family comfortably without my help (once he's out of school, that is).

 

I love being a SAHM. I always wanted to be one, even when I was a kid. I was always one of the top students in my school, but I was never drawn towards any particular career, so it wasn't a big sacrifice for me personally. Being a SAHM is what I always wanted, so I guess I'm living my dream job right now! For me, homeschooling will just be an extension of that.

 

I'm more of an introvert, so I'm not involved in a lot of activities outside my children and church. That's my choice, though, and I could do a lot more if I wanted to.

 

I did complete my degree and could work if I needed to, which I think is very important in our current society. Not a degree, necessarily, but a way of supporting oneself. So I'm glad to hear that you have a plan for that.

 

My main advice would be to continue down a path that allows you to support yourself if you need/desire to. You should also marry a man who will support you in staying home because otherwise that could be a rocky path. If you want to be a SAHM, you will likely be able to figure it out. Millions have and do so successfully. Just make choices that will get you there.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I don't stay home just to homeschool, I was mostly home before that too but I have had a few part-time jobs.

 

Sacrifice - Not much, I never had high paying jobs.

 

Outside activities - No! I go mad running around. I love to stay home. I get so annoyed when I have more than one or things to do in a week. I have my routine here and I like to stick to it.:D

[MrsJewelsRae]

I am a stay home home mom, always have been. I was even a stay home wife before we had kids, though I did daycare in our home. We felt if was right for us by conviction and have always been able to make it work. I think if both spouses equally committed to making it work, it can be done. We have made sacrifices, for the first 8 yrs of marriage we only had one car, even with having 3 kids. It was not at all convenient but we made it work. I just got my own cell phone last month after 12+ yrs of marriage. We've never had much $ but we've always made it. I shop very carefully, price matching, menu planning and always checking flyers for sales on groceries. Clothing is always searched for at the thrift stores first, and then going to the mall for whatever I can't find. I think one if the biggest decisions a couple may have to make I. This regard is where to live. Livin in the big city on one income is very very hard to do, unless the dh us making a lot of money. I know a lot of friends from the city I use to live in that had a conviction about the kids having a SAHM but they just couldn't afford to live on one income. But a lot of them weren't willing to consider moving out of the city. One couple finally did move out, another were not too proud to move to a humble small home, and yet another moved in with her parents, which works for them. The cost of living in our small town is not high, and I wouldn't go back to the big city for anything!

 

I love being a stay home mom, and I also homeschool. I don't go crazy at home usually. Sometimes I'll take them to the park or Grampy and Grammys house for a break, sometimes we'll pack up and go visit my sister or parents for a week. But mostly I enjoy being home, we do belong to a hs group, which we all like to attend. I know a lot of people would not be willing to give up their big house, 2 cars, yearly vacations,etc but it's all about priorities. For me, I'm more than willing to forgo that stuff do I can be with my kids.

[*********]

Ack I am rambling on now, but here are my list of questions lol. One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

 

Yes, I love it. More than any job I've ever had. Even my professional career that I quit to stay home.

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

 

Depends what you mean by sacrifice. If the boys were in ps and I was working, we could pay off a house quicker, pay cash for our cars, etc. My husband, by the grace of God, makes a good enough living that we can eat and have a home. He provides for our needs, and plenty of our wants, just fine by himself. But we have decided that for OUR family, this is how we wanna run the show, IYKWIM. We like that I stay home, he works, and I homeschool the boys. On dh's side, he has two siblings that are married, and have decided to public school their children, but work opposite shifts (one in a hospital, the other in a plant) so that someone is always home with the kids. That's what works for them; we wouldn't like that for our family.

 

I don't work outside the home right now. We are thinking that once Moose is 16, I will probably return to school and get my nursing license. That will give me lots of flexibility, so that I can even work part time and be home for my husband and (hopefully) grandkids. I'll only be 44 when my youngest is 16, at which time I'm hoping he'll be in CC.

 

That's our plan for now at least. We fully understand the Lord may change it at any time, however. :)

[justamouse]

You should read the book that's being talked about in another thread, Radical Homemakers. I wish I had it at your age. Not that it should stop you from getting an education, but it gives you a historical look at the art of homemaking that is awfully enlightening.

 

 

First off, not doing something *now* doesn't mean not ever. It just means not now. :001_smile:

 

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

 

Now? yes. At first, not at all. Even for the first few years it was something I wanted to constantly escape. But, there were reasons for that. I didn't have a solid family at home, and so I didn't know how to be a mom, raise a child or make a home.

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

 

Yes and no. It would cost me more to put our kids in school than it does for me to homeschool them. I'm pretty thrifty, and I *enjoy* it being so. It's fun, not laborious. So, in some ways we sacrifice, and in other ways, I'm richer than most. Time is a very precious commodity, and my time is my own (with the priority of my family first). Many women I know who work think I live a luxurious lifestyle, but it's not that I do, it's that I don't value monetary wealth. In other ways, as to what we own, no it's not a sacrifice. We have a gorgeous house and pool, but we saved for years, didn't go on vacations, kept a tight budget. So, it's all about YOUR priorities.

 

 

Do you work and homeschool?

 

I gave up on it. It stressed me out too much, and with what I do, I'll be able to do it until I'm dead. So there's still more time in my life for it. My kids are kids NOW. They'll be gone soon enough. I got tired of being frantic all day, stressed out, crazy insane, and it was no making but my own. So I just dropped work, and yes, I miss it, but I'm not stressed and that is the Best. Thing. Ever.

 

 

Or do you just stay at home and homeschool?

 

Yes. But now that my little one is 5 and my oldest at home is 16, we get out a lot, and we enjoy many activities. I have my own hobbies. It also helps that we're all introverts and would rather be home than anywhere. :DI could literally sit on the couch all day and be comepletely occupied with stuff I want to do. Crochet, knitting, canning, baking, painting, making lampshades...So when school is 'over' for the day, it's a joy to do my own thing with a hot cup of coffee beside me.

 

BUT, were active, too-meaning that we're always walking around town, taking hikes, tromping over hill and dale... So it's not like I don't 'get out', but it's not 'getting out' as in lessons, play dates, appointments, sports and such.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

Sometimes you just have to hit the mall. :D If anything, to remind yourself how much it drains you and you hate the mad throngs.:tongue_smilie:

 

I have also discovered my talent in helping others, and would like to join a good church that has heavy emphasis on these values and to mission work before I get married.

I have discovered that I would love nothing more than to immerse myself in my parish's ministries. I love teaching CCD, I love working at the food pantry and have dreams to expand it, I will be serving at the migrant ministry and monthly dinner or working in the church thrift store. I could happlyy do this the rest of my life. I would happy being the 90 yo grey hair lady that's at church all the time serving in something. So yes, in that way, I've found my calling outside my house. BUT, I'm 40 and just found this parish this year.

Edited December 12, 2011 by justamouse

[luvnlattes]

I love being a SAHM. I started out as a working mom but that was tough for me, so dh and I made a choice and I stayed home after my second ds was born. Yes, we did (and continue to) make a sacrifice for me to stay home. We lost that second income. I had been with my company for quite a while before I left and my future looked promising there. However, I strongly felt the need to be home and my dh supported that. You'll want to be sure that you and your future dh are in agreement with regard to staying home vs. being a two-income family.

 

I wouldn't say that I "just stay home and homeschool," because homeschooling has become a full time job for me in and of itself. With 3 children at different levels, with different strengths/weaknesses, working with them takes up the bulk of my day. I am not bored by any means because there is so much to do.

 

I have been involved in many outside activities in the past but at this point in time, I'm only involved in two. You'll find as you go through different stages in your life you'll want or need different amounts of outside activities.

 

I didn't go the traditional route of going to a university right after high school. I went to community college for a while, then started to work full time and took night classes. I kept plugging along and ultimately earned my BA degree. I don't know about your situation but I wonder if there isn't some middle ground? Does it have to be a top-notch college and a Ph.D? Could you do CC for two-years and then transfer to an in-state college? Does your in-state college offer an extension program that you can attend locally through the CC? Even though I am not currently using my degree, I am thankful that I have it and I believe it will be helpful if our circumstances change and I need to re-enter the work force.

[ChristusG]

I'm a stay at home mom. I married pretty young at 19 and had a part time job then. We started a home business and it got busy, so I quit my part time job to work on our home business. When I got pregnant with my first child, I handed the business over to my DH because it was a lot of stress on me. Now he spends a little time on it in the evenings when he gets home from his regular job.

 

Personally, I do not feel like I sacrifice a lot to stay home with the kids. I honestly couldn't see it any other way. It would break my heart to send them to school/daycare for majority of the day. I want to be the one to raise them....not school teachers and daycare workers. I would give up a vehicle, sell off belongings, and move into the tiniest house possible before I would send them off to school or daycare. That's how important it is to me.

 

To keep from going crazy, I have this board LOL! I'm pretty much an introvert and don't really have any friends. My parents will watch the kids for DH and I to have an evening out. I'm not involved with a lot of outside activities. I just don't have the time to do it all....plus, I'm not really that interested.

 

I love being home with my kids.

[LuvingLife]

I definitely like the fact of being an SAHM, I would be involved with my kids and have plenty to do as I always want to be involved with outside activities but never too many. I am a very thrifty person and always look for a good deal, as of right now I do not have big plans to go off to college, but go to my vo tech school and get a degree that will help provide for myself while I am single. I also plan on joining a church that is heavily involved with mission trips as I want to help others, especially families that are in need of help.

 

My parents are supporting my decision all the way, as long as I am following what God wants me to do, they are in it all the way and I am very glad to have parents that are supporting my decisions and not pressuring me to do anything I don't want to do.

 

Thank you all for your encouragement, and I love hearing what you all have to say about the matter, it has helped me!:001_smile:

[Night Elf]

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom? Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom? Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

I absolutely love being a SAHM. My DH is able to support our family. He has 2 college degrees and a very good paying job that is, thankfully, very stable. I tried working and homeschooling and it was a fail. I simply cannot stretch myself that thin. I also homeschooled while going to school myself. That wasn't as bad because I wasn't out of the house as much and because my kids were at a place with their work where I wasn't needed every minute. However, I have to put my school aside again because now they do need me. So yes, I considered this a bit of a sacrifice, but it's one I'm perfectly willing to make. I do not go "mad" at staying home. I used to try being involved in things outside the house, but then it got to the point where it was muc h less stressful and less heart-breaking to just stay home and focus on my family. (Issues with so called friends basically) I do think it was important for me to be involved in a homeschool group when the kids were really young. But now that they are teens, it is just different.

 

Anything else you would like to add is apprecitated and this is for me, I needed some encouragement today to know that not going to a normal college and getting the college experience is okay, sometimes I struggle a lot with this.

 

Well, I'll share my own personal story. I expected to go to college as well, but my mom shut down that idea. She made me feel guilty for wanting to do it because we didn't have the money. She also told me that we simply weren't "those" kinds of people that could afford college. She groomed me to be a clerical worker, which means she insisted I take business classes at school like typing and accounting. The funny thing is that I ended up working at a university and learned that going to school can be really easy if one is willing to accept financial aid. Because I was in a lower tax bracket, I qualified for federal grants and scholarships and a small loan. It was worth it. Too bad I didn't finish because my husband at the time was also in school and his enrollment took precedence over mine. By the time my marriage ended, he had 2 college degrees and I had none.

 

Basically I'm suggesting you look into all the possibilities before you write this dream off, IF you really want to pursue it. Oh, you can pursue it later if you want to, but having kids makes things more difficult. Technically, I've been working on a degree on and off for 23 years and I'm still not close to graduating. Every time I take some years off, the school changes the program just enough that I have to go back and take even more classes than what was required the last time I was there.

 

But anyway, I do not expect to ever work again. Honestly, I don't think I would have been in this position during my first marriage. We struggled making ends meet with the both of us working. And we had NO money sense. So please, educate yourself on financial matters no matter what path you take. Do something like Dave Ramsey's program or anything similar. It will be a huge benefit for you!

[LibraryLover]

Im not disagreeing with what anyone has already said about being a hsing mom etc.

 

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

Edited December 12, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Mergath]

Im not disagreeing with what anyone has already said about being a hsing mom etc.

 

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

 

:iagree: It's hard to decide what you're going to do with your life at sixteen. Not due to any lack on your part, but simply because there's no way to know who you're going to be five or ten years down the road. You're probably never going to change as much as you will in the next few years. One door might be shut, but as you get older you'll find doors that you didn't even know existed, so don't be so quick to limit yourself.

[SKL]

I agree that if you are 16, you are too young to be talking about the option of college being closed to you. My brother went to college in his late 30s and earned his Bachelor's over age 40. Stay creative and you will find a way to do what you really want to do, whatever that happens to be.

 

Continue to be frugal and put aside as much cash as you can, so it will be there when you figure out what your next big step will be.

 

I went to college young. At your age, I thought I would be married with kids before age 30. I never got married (I'm 45) so I adopted two girls when I was 40. From 16 to 40 my life was mostly beng a professional who squeezed in volunteer work with kids when I could. I saved a lot of money so that I would (hopefully) never have to worry about the basics. I had the opportunity to keep my mind sharp, travel internationally, build a varied circle of friends, help my extended family, etc. And now I have the opportunity to be a mom without a lot of stress.

 

I still work full-time, but I work at home as co-owner of a business. I've been able to do more with my kids than many working moms, but they are in school, as that works best for us right now.

 

Personally, I do not think I'd do well as a SAHM. I think I would be too invested in my kids' minute-by-minute performance and behavior, and this would leave its mark on our relationship. We're happy with our current set-up. But I'm a "never say never" kind of person. Only God knows what the future holds for any of us.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Do you enjoy being a stay at home mom? Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom? Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

I do enjoy being a stay at home mom! I feel like it's been a great choice for me. When my oldest dd was a baby I had to work and it was so difficult to organize everything! I love being able to pour my energy into my family.

 

I don't feel like I had to sacrifice anything. I have plenty of time to do what I want to do but I only have a few years to really build my relationship with my family. That comes first.

 

I have worked and homeschooled and it was tough but worth it. There was a time when we just needed me to work a few hours a week to get that little bit of extra money to give us some wiggle room (paying bills and also having a bit of cushion for emergencies if necessary). I only needed to work 20 hours a week and it was fine. Now I'm home and homeschool and I love it!

 

When my dc were little I pretty much was at home and activities (play groups etc) with other moms. Now I can do a bit more because they're teens. They participate in our mission here in Guatemala and that makes it so much fun for us as a family!

 

I do want to say that the decisions you make now will effect your ability to stay home later.

 

We never got into credit card debt and we have chosen to live simply so we could pretty much make it on one income. We never owned a home (the mortgage wasn't prohibitive it was maintenance and upkeep). We never had a new car--we paid cash for whatever we drove. We only bought with cash and never had new furniture. We did however think that regular family days and fun days were important so we would budget for that!

 

Being a stay at home mom meant that part of my "job" for my family was to be frugal--coupons; thrift stores; garage sales--it's amazing how inexpensive a family can live if you put time into saving money!

 

I think it's wonderful that you're thinking of this now so you can make good choices later!

[Tarreymere]

I am a stay-at-home mom and I love it. I spent a few years on active duty in the Army, then worked full-time. Later I put myself through college as a single mom because I thought I was missing something. I found out I wasn't.

I have a lot of kids. I can see a difference in the kids I raised as a mom working full-time compared to the kids I am parenting as a full-time mom. My younger kids are more self-confident and secure and less anxious, and less willing to be caught up in the next 'latest thing'. They are less materialistic. If I could have a do-over I would have been a SAHM from the beginning.

My income was always greater than my husband's income so yes there were quite a few sacrifices involved in having me stay home. No one has the latest wardrobe or gadget. No DS games or lots of afterschool activities. We don't eat out. We share one vehicle that was purchased used. We make our own laundry soap and garden because it really makes a difference in our budget.

Is this kind of life unpleasant? No! I would rather be home baking four loaves of bread a day and hanging my wet laundry out on the line than putting in a full day for an employer and rushing home exhausted to start dinner and laundry and pick up the kids. I've been there and done that and I know what it is like. I am a lot happier at home. I'm not tired, I'm not stressed, I'm a better mom and a better wife and a better person. My kids like me and I like them, they aren't just a burden. I don't have to argue with my husband over whose turn it is to do dishes or fold clothes because we are both too tired and too stressed to really handle basic housekeeping chores. And he really likes having me home because he is more relaxed too.

You find ways to make it work financially that work for your family. DH and I donate blood once a month at the local movie theater and we each score two free tickets, so we do a good deed and get to take the kids out to a movie. I make our soap and cleaners, which I actually enjoy. We garden. I've learned how to cook and bake inexpensive things that stretch our grocery budget. Our last grocery bill for two weeks was $235, and that included dog and cat food and stuff other than just food like printer ink. You find ways that work for you and your family, it isn't like you just wander about feeling deprived. I've used more creativity, intelligence, and planning in coming up with ways to make life on one income pleasant than I was ever called to use at work, and it is much more rewarding.

I don't feel I am going 'mad' at home. I am always interested in learning and trying new recipes and ways to make inexpensive meals and save money with food. I learned how to make my own yogurt, but I have yet to master cheese. I make my own wine and some of it is even good. I've learned to knit and sew and I always have a backlog of projects from that. I love to bargain shop at the local thrift stores and I keep up with which ones are running specials and when. We go to church every week, and I volunteer one afternoon at an afterschool program run by our church. Sometimes I make the meetings for the local fiber arts club. Dh is in a band, and sometimes I go to his practices and gigs. There is always something going on for grownups as well as kids in this house.

As for going to college and getting a normal college experience, I have to say I never had a normal college experience. My parents were opposed to spending money or effort on educating a girl and I was expected to start work after high school and to make an effort to snare a husband. I was nearly thirty when I went to college, and I did it because I felt I needed to in order to feel good about myself. It was an expensive treatment for low self-esteem. But my point is, don't limit yourself. If you really want it you will be able to make it happen, it just may not happen when and how you had hoped but that doesn't mean it is out of the question.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

[regentrude]

A couple of thoughts:

but I would one day like to be a stay at home mom and not be a work-a-holic mom that I see so much of today

 

Those are not the only two options. It is possible to be a mother working outside the home without being a workaholic.

 

do you enjoy being a stay at home mom? Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom? Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?

I was a SAHM for several years when my children were little. I enjoyed it some of the time, but after a few years I became severely depressed. I felt lonely, cut off, unappreciated, not using my talents, felt my brain turn to mush (I have a PhD in theoretical physics and really missed the analytical thinking and scientific research). It was a rough time for our family and marriage.

I got better when I started to work part time, and I have been a better mother and wife since then, because I am happy - I am more patient and I enjoy the time with my children more since I am not stuck with them 24/7.

I work part time and homeschool. With that, I do not need any additional outside activities, because my job fulfills my need to be with people and gives me the intellectual stimulation I need.

 

So, staying home was not the best choice for me and my family.

It may be a great choice for you. However, you won't know for sure until you actually are at that point.

Edited December 12, 2011 by regentrude

[regentrude]

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

As a college instructor, I see students who decided later in life to go to university. One of my favorite students this semester is a homeschooling mother of four. Her children are between 10 and 15 years, and she is now going to school and majoring in biology.

I have older students who can no longer work their jobs because of health reasons. One of my most motivated students was a man in his late fourties with three teenage children. He had owned and run a small grocery store, sold his store, and used the money to finance his education. He became an engineer, did his masters, and now works in this capacity for a local company.

 

At your age, no doors are shut.

[Mrs Mungo]

I agree with those who said that doors are never shut. Maybe you need some more eyes to see possibilities? What is it that you want to do?

 

Ack I am rambling on now, but here are my list of questions lol. One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom? Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom? Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

Yes, I enjoy it.

 

Sacrifice in what sense? I sacrificed having a job and fulfillment outside of the home. It wasn't much of a financial sacrifice in the beginning because daycare, formula, etc would have been so expensive. Now, I *could* have the kids in school and work, but my salary would be more likely to be going toward private school tuition x3. My husband's salary and benefits provide for us.

 

I am involved in lots of activities outside of the home.

[catz]

Im not disagreeing with what anyone has already said about being a hsing mom etc.

 

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

 

:iagree: I stay at home and it's great, I love it. We live in an urban area and do lots of out of the house stuff. However, I would not be where I am today without my higher education. The financial footing we had before we had kids has made a huge difference in our ability to have me at home and homeschool and still live a comfortable lifestyle. Both my DH and I have higher degrees beyond a bachelors. Not to mention its good to have a back plan for the unexpected. Spouses can get laid off and laid up or worse. Look at all your options and your interests. I think it'd be pretty hard to have all doors shut to you at age 16. Unconventional routes can be good.

[jenangelcat]

I don't work. I hate working and I can't pull in as high a wage as hubby. In fact it would cost me money to have to work so it's pointless.

 

I didn't sacrifice anything to be a sahm. I don't drive and we couldn't afford a second vehicle anyway. We are rural so I don't get out much when dh is at work. I'm an introvert so I have no issue staying home when I have to.

[ScoutTN]

I am a SAHM and I love it. DH and I married late and had infertility troubles, so I am thrilled to have two miracle babies (Docs told us we'd never have any) and I love homeschooling. I wouldn't trade my life for a paid job for anything!

 

We are very active in our church and have a nice group of hs friends and some extended family in town, so we have plenty of relationships and I don't feel isolated. We live in a great city for hs, with lots of resources and a large community.

 

Home schooling/being a SAHM does require financial sacrifices, but we have what we need and would live in fairly simple, thrifty manner anyway. I think our world is very consumption-driven and materialistic and being frugal and somewhat limited financially is often a help to character, not a hindrance. My kids are not worse off because they don't have every new toy, we don't eat out often or take expensive vacations. That isn't to say I don't sometimes struggle with our financial circumstances. It would be nice to have more wiggle room and be able to buy an ipad and go to the beach every year....

But we are happy. :)

 

I agree with what pp have said about not thinking that your course in life is determined now at 16. Make plans, pursue goals, but keep an open mind and be flexible.

[LuvingLife]

Im not disagreeing with what anyone has already said about being a hsing mom etc.

 

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

 

No no I understand, what I meant to say is that right now the door has been shut lol!:D That is what I wanted to say, sometimes my brain and typing don't always communicate right!:tongue_smilie:

[jennynd]

Im not disagreeing with what anyone has already said about being a hsing mom etc.

 

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

 

that was what I wanted to say when I read the post. You are 16. Your door just open

If you have the determination and well. You will be able to do what you wanted to accomplished. Gosh I know someone who retired from my previous job and went back to school for PhD at age of 60.

[LuvingLife]

that was what I wanted to say when I read the post. You are 16. Your door just open

If you have the determination and well. You will be able to do what you wanted to accomplished. Gosh I know someone who retired from my previous job and went back to school for PhD at age of 60.

 

Oye I wish I had explained myself more!!:lol::lol:

[LibraryLover]

No no I understand, what I meant to say is that right now the door has been shut lol!:D That is what I wanted to say, sometimes my brain and typing don't always communicate right!:tongue_smilie:

 

 

Good. Keep your options all wide open. There's no need to limt your experiences at this point. Have you considered an exchange program at any point. I've known hsers who have done that for a month or so.

 

I can't think of program names at this moment, but I will ask my friends and do a little searching. I don't mean missionary work, although that's interesting as well. AFS is well known. They offer summer programming, and I think there have scholarship money.

[LibraryLover]

No no I understand, what I meant to say is that right now the door has been shut lol!:D That is what I wanted to say, sometimes my brain and typing don't always communicate right!:tongue_smilie:

 

 

Good. Keep your options all wide open. There's no need to limt your experiences at this point. Have you considered an exchange program at any point? I've known hsers who have done that for a month or so.

 

I can't think of program names at this moment, but I will ask my friends and do a little searching. I don't mean missionary work, although that's interesting as well. AFS is well known. They offer summer programming, and I think they have scholarship money.

[QuirkyKapers]

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

 

Yes.

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

 

I don't feel like I have had to sacrifice a lot. We made sure we bought a house that would make it possible for me to stay and home and not have to work. I guess that is a sacrifice, choosing to live in a house that is older and smaller than what the trend is. Don't get me wrong, our house is nice it just isn't like living in a newer, larger home.

 

Do you work and homeschool?

 

No. I have thought about a part time job. However, my husband owns his business and sometimes travels. This would make it difficutl to be reliable. The kids are still to young to be on their own.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

Together: We do Classical Conversations

Children: Involved in sports, HS programs at Natural History Museum, Metorparks

Me: I love half price books. I also enjoy going to the library. I go out with my girlfriends. Usually I am able to have one evening to myself. That really helps. Oh- every morning before dh leaves for work, I go out for a half and hour in the morning. That helps too.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am confused as to why you are saying that the college option door has been slammed shut for you as an 11th grader?:( Of course, college is not everything and trades are a great, viable option. I also realize that cost is a prohibitive factor but there may be scholarships, grants and less expensive options such as state colleges or community colleges for 2 years. I would want to do a thorough exploration of various degrees and that job opportunities that result from them form objective sources since many schools want to sell you on the idea of certain degrees with false promises of jobs:glare:.

 

As for being a homemaker , I think it is great but I still think it is critical to have some sort of skills for a job because life is not always predictable. Medical coding may be a good option but I would want to research this idea thoroughly to make sure there will actually be a job for you and that they are not shipping these sort of jobs overseas. I am an RN which allowed me to work for over 20 years and eventually be a homemaker with the ability to go back to work if necessary.

[Parker Martin]

I had a great job. I don't miss it. At all.

 

My husband would not be as successful as he is if we both worked, so I don't know that it's been a financial sacrifice. We operate as a team.

 

For intellectual stimulation, I have lots of interesting friends and lots of shared interests with my husband. I don't do a lot of outside activities without the kids, but I haven't had a problem integrating my stay at home mom life with my interests.

 

Personally, I found college overrated and not as intellectually stimulating as I had hoped, though I attended excellent schools. I find studying independently and finding others online or in life for discussions much more fulfilling. When our youngest is in high school and working mostly independently or through college classes, I may do more with institutional schooling depending on what I decide to do after the kids are grown and gone.

 

Being a stay at home mom works well for me. It's a good fit with my personality. Someone with a different personality might better enjoy a different arrangement.

 

Most of the people I know who successfully juggle being part time stay at home moms and part time workers are nurses or doctors. That could just be due to my limited sample size, but both of those careers seem to have flexible schedules. Just putting that out there in case either of those career paths are of interest.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Im not disagreeing with what anyone has already said about being a hsing mom etc.

 

I am disagreeing with your premise that at age 16 doors have been slammed shut.

 

You are 16. Unless you wanted to be a pilot and you've gone blind, I would be very, very careful thinking along such lines. Some doors might seem closed at this time, but other doors will open. I don't think you should settle on billing and coding at this point in time, unless you are madly in love with that choice of of work.

 

People change careers all the time. Don't decide at 16 to limit your options for your future. You could live 90 or so years. At this point in time, you can't know squat about what the next 70 or so years will bring. I say that in kindness.

 

:iagree:

[Caribbean Queen]

[quote name=LuvingLife;3403841I used to have big plans on going to a top-notch college and getting a Ph.D and everything' date=' but for some reason God has closed those doors, they have been "slammed shut" so to speak and I can't get them to open again. What has been opened for me is not exactly what I expected but now it is starting to make more sense. ...

 

I needed some encouragement today to know that not going to a normal college and getting the college experience is okay, sometimes I struggle a lot with this.

 

I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and in my experience people don't like to hear that. They will try to talk you out of it or, at the very least, not encourage you. This is true even if you have a valid backup plan, such as learning a trade you could do from home, part time if your husband doesn't make enough money, or you could support yourself with it entirely if he died.

 

Let me encourage you. You want to be a stay-at-home mom?

 

:party:

[Lang Syne Boardie]

OP, I don't know you or your situation at all, so I'm not assuming anything. I'm just speaking generally:

 

I love being a SAHM and always wanted to spend my life that way, but there's some realistic thinking required for a teenaged girl making plans.

 

First, being a SAHM presupposes a husband who has the same priorities and the income to support a family on his own. He must exist, in the first place, and he must be willing and able to 100% share the preference of a SAHM in the home.

 

If that young man hasn't arrived and made that commitment (complete with vows and a ring, usually, depending on beliefs), no woman should eschew all other plans for something that just doesn't exist in her life.

 

Wanting to be a wife and mother does not guarantee a husband or children.

 

Starting married life as a SAHM doesn't guarantee that staying home will always be possible. A husband could die, or be unemployed or unemployable for a long time...many things could happen.

 

So the question becomes this: If I know that my preference is to someday be a stay-at-home wife and mother, how can I prepare to support myself (and any future children) without going into such debt or commitment to education or training that I'll never be able to realize my SAHM dream even if I find an agreeable husband?

 

My answer to that question was vocational school. I chose something in the medical field that I found to be fulfilling and interesting. I enjoyed school and work, and I was very content in that career choice until I met and married DH. We preferred for me to be a SAHM. I had already paid my (small) debts for vocational training, so I was able to quit without having student loans hanging over my head. I had also lived frugally, so there was no real lifestyle lost or credit card debt when I stopped working.

 

If you think Prince Charming will come along (and have a great job in this recession), there's no reason not to prepare your emotions, education, skills, and character to be a SAHM. Even if that dream comes true, you should still prepare to support yourself and any future dependents anyway. You just never know.

[Parker Martin]

I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and in my experience people don't like to hear that. They will try to talk you out of it or, at the very least, not encourage you. This is true even if you have a valid backup plan, such as learning a trade you could do from home, part time if your husband doesn't make enough money, or you could support yourself with it entirely if he died.

 

Let me encourage you. You want to be a stay-at-home mom?

 

:party:

 

:iagree:

[DianeW88]

I, too, have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom...but a stay-at-home mom with a college degree. I have that and I feel it has blessed my life immeasurably.

 

College is a wonderful experience in and of itself. It allows you to expand your horizons, to explore new things and to meet new people. It's where I met my husband. He also has an excellent job because of his degree, which is what allows me to remain at home and still have a comfortable lifestyle.

 

And here is a bit of brutal (and possibly unpopular) honesty for you. If you want the best possible chance for being a stay-at-home mom....marry well. Marry someone who has the ability, education and motivation to work hard to provide the income you need to stay at home. If you don't, you will struggle. You will constantly have to watch every penny, you will have to deal with the anxiety of whether you should pay the utilities or put food on the table, your children won't have the opportunity to participate in things like music lessons, team sports, extracurricular classes, vacations and travel, etc. Can you have a perfectly happy and content life without those things? Of course...but honestly...it's so much nicer with them.

 

And I'm not talking about the "well we love each other and we have our faith, so we're happy" stuff. I'm speaking of how difficult it is to know that you can't give a child who has an obvious talent (in dance, music, science, etc.) the means to develop it. I'm speaking of the pain of not being able to give your child warm clothing for the winter, because you can't afford a new pair of winter boots or a new coat and they have to wear one of their siblings worn out and outgrown ones. I'm talking of the guilt you feel when you know your child is sick and probably needs antibiotics, but you cannot afford to take them to the doctor, let alone buy medication, because you have no health insurance. I'm talking about the disappointment on your child's face when there is nothing under the Christmas tree this year. These situations are very real, very stressful and can take a terrible toll on a marriage and family.

 

Can a college degree prevent this from happening? No, of course not. But knowing that you want to be a stay-at-home mom means that you should look for a spouse that will have a degree (or trade, or business, or rich parents :D) that will make the above situation a whole lot less likely. If you want to live on only one income, then you need to be smart and make sure your future partner can give you that blessing in your life.

 

I have loved being a stay-at-home mom more than anything. And I'm grateful that I knew I wanted to do that well before I got married. It made my list of criteria when choosing a spouse (and honestly, you should have a list) much different. I wanted a husband who would have a high income and I dated accordingly. And in case anyone thinks that sounds callous or cold...I also found someone who is completely amazing and whom I love with all my heart. We will be married for 24 years in April and they have been happy and wonderful years together. So, to sum it up...as the knight said in "Indiana Jones"...."choose wisely". :lol:

Edited December 12, 2011 by DianeW88

[alpidarkomama]

The best advice I can give you is to marry someone who has the same goal and is 100% for it. That means a man who is dedicated to earning a salary that can support a family. We have a very modest income but it is enough to cover our needs. Not too many extras, though! But that's okay. (Who is rich? He who is happy with his lot...) I *never* think of it as a sacrifice. I think it would entail a much greater sacrifice to have to work.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Diane, I won't disagree with that entirely. I'm on the beans-and-rice plan, myself, and soooo thankful that the great love DH and I had for each other at the beginning has endured for 16 years. I say that because, frankly, if I didn't truly adore him this life would kind of suck.

 

We do have profoundly talented children who are not getting the opportunities they deserve.

 

We are a little cold, poorly dressed, and slightly hungry.

 

We do live paycheck-to-paycheck, with no guarantees of employment tomorrow. The recession has been hell on DH's vocation. He works as much as he does because of his excellent work ethic and references, and I know he's doing the very best he can.

 

For myself, I wouldn't change a thing, because I would still have wanted him. Money or no money, I'd still choose him.

 

For a daughter (if I had one) I would encourage her to line things up a teeny bit better, materially. And that's where I have a serious problem with marginally educating girls who are destined to be wives and mothers after leaving their father's houses. (Gothard, Vision Forum)

 

Mr. Knightly in Jane Austen's Emma (movie version) sums it up: Despite what they may say to the contrary, men of sense do not want silly wives.

 

Girls who want to be SAHMs need to be attractive to the type of men who make lasting commitments and who also make money. Such a girl will probably be intelligent and educated enough to speak with him about what he cares about. She will be able to dress attractively and fit in with his circles that are likely based around his career.

 

It's a pretty romantic notion that a denim-jumper wearing girl who never even gets through her Algebra I textbook and has never been allowed around anyone outside her family and church will be carried away on horseback by a young man with intelligence, education, and successful career.

 

How does he even find such a girl? Where would he possibly meet her?

 

My friend, Karen Campbell, has addressed this issue on her blog and podcasts at thatmom.com. There is a generation of 25-30 year-old unmarried women living with their fathers because they were unable to meet or attract marriageable men.

 

I realize I'm being opinionated but I hope I'm not being too blunt. I think this is worth considering, for teenaged girls and the mothers of girls.

[Colleen in NS]

.

Edited December 14, 2011 by Colleen in NS

[Lang Syne Boardie]

....still thinking, sorry...

 

I don't think a woman should focus on preparing herself to attract a certain kind of man. Watch Mona Lisa Smile to see what I mean.

 

I do think she should work very hard on being exactly who she wants to be, whoever that is. She should better herself, broaden her thinking and experiences, meet people, and have something to say for herself. Education and work experience are obvious ways to achieve that growth.

 

If a girl 'finds herself' she's much more likely to also find someone else compatible with herself.

[Donna]

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

Not sure if you would consider me a SAHM. I do work one day a week outside the home and my husband is home with my dd, but otherwise I am home. I went to college and got a master's degree in physical therapy. I work one day a week in Early Intervention helping families with developmentally delayed children. I love the work I do.

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

I suppose you could say we sacrifice. I mean, we don't have a large house or new cars and have to watch where we spend our money but those are "sacrifices" we have chosen to live with as those things are not as important to us as family time and being able to homeschool.

 

Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Work and homeschool as I described above.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

All my outside activities involve one or more of my children. I don't have any activities that I do for myself at the moment. There just isn't enough time in the day. I am not the type of person who needs alone time, though. I love my time with my kids. They are only children for a short time, and as two of mine are now teens, I appreciate this even more. A little time to read a book, watch a movie, or work on a scrapbook is enough alone time for me.

Edited December 12, 2011 by Donna

[catz]

I do think she should work very hard on being exactly who she wants to be, whoever that is. She should better herself, broaden her thinking and experiences, meet people, and have something to say for herself. Education and work experience are obvious ways to achieve that growth.

 

 

I agree totally with everything you've posted.

[SKL]

"Marry well" - sounds like a great plan - so says the single, 45yo (but so happy) mom.

 

I most certainly believed Prince Charming would come and carry me away. Prince Charming apparently did not get that memo. (Or who knows, maybe he got delayed at some medieval town and is still on his way.)

 

Don't burn your bridges. Marry well if you have the choice - be strong in case you don't.

[DianeW88]

....still thinking, sorry...

 

I don't think a woman should focus on preparing herself to attract a certain kind of man. Watch Mona Lisa Smile to see what I mean.

 

I do think she should work very hard on being exactly who she wants to be, whoever that is. She should better herself, broaden her thinking and experiences, meet people, and have something to say for herself. Education and work experience are obvious ways to achieve that growth.

 

If a girl 'finds herself' she's much more likely to also find someone else compatible with herself.

 

:iagree:And I also agree that a girl needs to be in a place where she will find a man she can marry. I, too, have often wondered how on earth you find someone if you live with your parents and never work outside of the home, because you're preparing to be a homemaker. And I'm not trying to be snarky, I seriously just don't know how these girls think this is the route to marriage.

 

It is also important to make sure that whoever you date is in agreement with being the sole breadwinner these days. Many, many men are not, and that would be something to work out BEFORE you get married. He will most likely not change after your first child is born (don't ever go into a marriage thinking you will "change him" or he'll "see the light"...99% of the time, he won't), and then you will be very disappointed.

 

And obviously don't marry someone you are not madly in love with, simply because he meets the requirements on your checklist. That's only to weed out the losers :lol:. Some things that were non-negotiable for me when I was looking for my spouse: strong in our faith, well-educated with a marketable degree, physically attractive (to me), great sense of humor, easy-going, friendly with others (I didn't want a recluse), smart, loved Disney World (my yearly trip is a must), and liked cats. I was patient and got them all in one package.

 

OP, if you spend time working on yourself...learning your strengths, talents and what you really enjoy doing, you will find someone who shares that. My parents always told me to "be the person you would want to date", and you'll attract that person. If you're educated, you will attract smart guys, etc. And, even if you never get married or have children, you will still have acquired all the skills necessary to live a full, happy, and rewarding life and bring joy to those around you.

[Colleen in NS]

I agree totally with everything you've posted.

 

me, too.

 

I'm also inspired by regentrude's stories.

Edited December 12, 2011 by Colleen in NS

[Mom22ns]

Ack I am rambling on now, but here are my list of questions lol. One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom? Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom? Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool? Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

I very much enjoy being a SAHM. I worked until I had kids. When the second was born, I quit work and became a SAHM. I have never regretted it for a minute.

 

I did make some sacrifices, but none I regret. I was a network analyst before and did some consulting on the side. When I quit my full time job I continued as a consultant and expanded that. I gave up money, I also gave up the idea of a career. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to who ask "What do you do?" and when the answer is SAHM, they just walk away. However, the rewards have been so much greater than the sacrifices.

 

When we started homeschooling I was still consulting, doing database programming, websites and being a general computer consultant for some small companies. I dropped all but two. One was a charity and I moved it to volunteer status and asked them to find another consultant to take over many of the tasks I was doing. The other one I kept with the understanding that school always comes first. He was ok with that. I don't find working and being a homeschool teacher are very compatible. I feel teaching is my full time job. Taking care of the house and cooking is mostly my responsibility and taking care of myself (exercise, mental health breaks) takes all the time I have left.

 

I'm not involved much outside the home any more. I was when the kids were younger. Now middle school & high school take full days and by the time I have run them all the places they need to go, there is no more time for volunteer work than paid work. I teach a Sunday school class and do other projects, but nothing else steady. When the kids were little and not too mentally stimulating, I needed more adult interactions. Now they are nearly adults and I don't find myself looking for sanity breaks much.

 

Being a SAHM is a wonderful thing. It requires a husband that wants to have a SAH wife. My dh doesn't want me to work. He didn't really want me to homeschool because it would be a full time job. He works long hours and wants me to take care of the house, cooking and kids. He is happy for me to continue not working after the kids grow up. Many men want a wife to contribute more financially now. It is great to think about it, but I think you have a lot of time before you will need to commit to staying home.

[Lady Florida.]

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

Absolutely. However, I married older and had my child when I was 40. Not something I would recommend, but it's how it worked out for me. Before that I had a teaching career, therefore a college degree. I'm glad I had the opportunity to have a career, but I do not miss work. I always wanted to be a sahm, and we decided I would stay home long before we decided to homeschool.

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

Well, we downsized our house by literally half the space, but I hated our big house anyway. Other than that, I don't think it's a sacrifice to be able to stay home with my son. We are fortunate that dh makes enough for us to have all the necessities plus a few carefully chosen luxuries.

 

Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool?

I don't work for pay, no.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

I'm a bit of a homebody, so I don't go mad at home. I do however, belong to a book club, I've made some friends in our hs group, and I have a few pre-homeschool friends I keep in contact with. I choose not to go out often, but the opportunities are there for me if I feel like I need them. I'm also an avid reader, a wannabe crafter, and like to garden. I don't know if those are "outside" activities, but they provide enjoyment and me time.

 

I don't know your situation, but I wouldn't decide that the door is shut forever. Mine is very different. At 16 I was planning to go to college. I worked for much of my adult life, so I'm well aware of what I'm (not) missing by staying home. As others mentioned, being a sahm is quite a commitment, and requires at least some financial stability.

[Embassy]

One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

 

Yes

 

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

 

Yes. Financially we have had to sacrifice quite a bit. I also gave up my career.

 

Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool?

 

Yes, I work from home at night after kids are in bed.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

Not too much with only one vehicle. But we do get out when we can.

 

Anything else you would like to add is apprecitated and this is for me, I needed some encouragement today to know that not going to a normal college and getting the college experience is okay, sometimes I struggle a lot with this.

 

I wouldn't close that door so young. I went to college and graduate school. I might not use those skills to earn money, but I use what I learned every day. I also have a way to support my family if something happened to my husband.

 

Also, you mentioned the idea of starting your own business from home. I did this a year after my youngest was born and the business grew so big I hardly ever saw my kids. I have regrets for taking that path.

[Dustybug]

do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?

 

I do actually. When I was pregnant with my first, I just assumed I would put her in daycare and go on with my career/college (I was a junior in college). Once she was born, I just couldnt' imagine being away from her. There are hard moments of course, especially since we share one vehicle, so when DH is at work, I'm basically stuck at home, but I really really enjoy being here for all of the little things AND the big things.

Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?

 

Well, I haven't finished my degree yet, but if I'm at home, I don't see that as too big of a sacrifice for now. It wouldn't be used. lol We do live very simply. One car, no cable, no long expensive vacations, we don't eat out much, only prepaid phones, etc., but we make it work and really it's not that bad. DH and I both grew up dirt poor, so we're doing better than when we were kids! lol. Adjusting to one income can be hard, especially if you are resentful of some of the "extras" you may have to give up. We just sort of go with the flow and work with it. The alternative seems far worse to us for our family.

 

Do you work and homeschool?

 

No.

 

Or do you just stay at home and homeschool?

 

I just stay home and homeschool, but it's a full time job all by itself! I really have a great respect for those who work out of the home AND homeschool. I would burn out very quickly trying to do that.

 

Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)

 

We are all homebodies anyway. We do have church, AWANA, and my oldest takes ballet classes once a week. We have playdates with friends once in awhile and occasionally go on a field trip with homeschooling friends, but we mostly stick to home. I go "mad" if I have to run too much. I'm sure some of that will change as my children get older. My oldest is only 5 and we already know she will be starting music lessons next fall and my son will be playing T-ball next summer.