DawnM Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Poll coming EVERY year Dh and I have this conversation. His house was a free for all. When you woke up, you get to open all of your gifts even if no one else is awake. I want us all seated. We pass out gifts and open in turn so we can all see and watch as the next person opens. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Dh passes the gifts out one at a time and we watch each other. We like to go at a nice, leisurely pace. What's the hurry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I voted we take turns and watch each other, but really, the kids open theirs at the same time while me, dh, my mother and my sister watch. I only have the two kids, though, so I can see what they are doing. My mother always sleeps over on Christmas Eve and my sister lives with us, so when the kids are finished, the adults take turns opening their gifts. When I was a kid, we all opened at the same time. There were five of us kids, so it was mass confusion, with paper flying everywhere, and I never got to see what anyone was getting. I didn't like that at all, so we are much more calm and dignified when opening gifts. The kids can look in their stockings if they want before they wake us up, but they have to wait until we are all up, with coffee, tea, cameras ready, etc. before they rip into the gifts. The nice thing about Christmas at my house, is that I get to do it my way with no comments from dh, because he's Jewish! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhornby56 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Growing up my family had a free-for-all. We had 6 kids and we all got quite a few presents. My husband's family opened one at a time with everyone watching. We have decided to take turns opening presents with our kids. I like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 It makes gift opening last longer; everyone can appreciate what others are opening; parents can keep track of who sent the kids what. We have a big tradition of making the kids (now 13 and 17) wait in another area of the house (stairs or hallway) once they are awake. Dh has already put the finishing touches on everything, final gifts come out, fire in the fireplace, tree lit and ready (we put cards on the tree), video cam running. We do our stockings last, at my insistence. I know we're in the minority, but I think it's a nice ending. Otherwise, the last present would be done and it would seem so abrupt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Sometimes the kids do a little ripping into. And we let them go at the same time, opening more or less equal gifts (here's the two clothes things, here's the two video games, etc.). So it's not a hard fast rule. But mostly, turn taking. ETA: dh's family were also turn takers. In fact, they used to number the kids' presents so they would know which order to go in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I hand out one gift to each kid, then they open them at the same time. Repeat. I control the pace, so when I hand them out I make sure that only one big ticket gift is being opened at any given time. Your dh's system would make me sad! After all of the work I put into Christmas, I want to see their faces when they open those gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I want us all seated. We pass out gifts and open in turn so we can all see and watch as the next person opens. :iagree: It is disrespectful to the gift-giver, and to the thought and effort they put into choosing the gift, not to allow them the joy of watching the recipient as the gift is opened. Sure, it might seem like "more fun" for the recipients to just tear into the gifts as they please. This is called greed and self-centeredness. They have already been given a gift--the gift itself! Their gift back to those who blessed them with those boxes and bags of goodies is the pleasure of seeing them unwrap the treats in a respectful and civilized manner. I used to go through this with my nephews. Yes, they were little kids, but still, their parents made no effort to teach them to open gifts respectfully. They would just tear into them like little animals, throwing things around, losing track of which gift was for whom, etc. It made me wonder why I bothered to put so much effort into choosing things for them and wrapping everything nicely, if the gift-giving was over in 10 seconds , toys strewn around the room. My dd instituted a rule, "No gifts until you are seated and calm." It works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We take turns and watch. The kids are allowed to get into the stockings without us, but we all wait and watch. It makes it fun that way. Growing up, this is how we did things as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I voted other. I'm not sure how dh's family did it, I never asked and when we're at a family thing it seemed like they took turns, but because the extended family is so big they usually went by age groupings or we'd never finish. For our kids we've done the everybody opens at once, but only after we're all awake, and we've done take turns rotating through the kids over and over, and the take turns with one kid opening everything before the next goes. This year I plan to just let them all at it once we're all awake, I get joy from seeing them play with the things they got, not from opening the things they got. I'll set up the video camera so that I can send a copy to dh on deployment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 It isn't so much a free for all, but we do not watch each other open everything, and everyone must be together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We have done it both ways. Dh's family always had tons of presents for everyone and was a free for all. Mine had a few gifts and we watched each one opened. When ours were small and the tree was overflowing with little things, it was a free for all. Now that they are older and the gifts are larger and fewer in number, we open them one at a time and watch each other. I much prefer it that way!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 DH's house was free for all... he grew up with four siblings. Mine was a slow, one by one, draw it out, watch each person sort of thing, with one kid playing "Santa" passing out the gifts - of course, there was only me and my sister. Anyway- the first time I went to DH's family's house for Christmas morning, I about fell off my chair. I actually was so shocked, it showed. I was just staring at the melee not opening a thing. They all stopped, and asked.... so I (very nicely and politely) explained that I couldn't keep track of who was getting what, and I wasn't used to it! Ever since then they have always done it one gift at a time - even though we are no longer there for Christmas anymore. My MiL thinks it wonderful that it makes the morning last longer, and is so much more pleasant! We don't have huge piles of gifts here, so if it was free-for-all, it would be over in seconds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 My MIL is a "my way or the highway" type and would have just carried on and told me to get busy opening. Sigh. Dawn DH's house was free for all... he grew up with four siblings.Mine was a slow, one by one, draw it out, watch each person sort of thing, with one kid playing "Santa" passing out the gifts - of course, there was only me and my sister. Anyway- the first time I went to DH's family's house for Christmas morning, I about fell off my chair. I actually was so shocked, it showed. I was just staring at the melee not opening a thing. They all stopped, and asked.... so I (very nicely and politely) explained that I couldn't keep track of who was getting what, and I wasn't used to it! Ever since then they have always done it one gift at a time - even though we are no longer there for Christmas anymore. My MiL thinks it wonderful that it makes the morning last longer, and is so much more pleasant! We don't have huge piles of gifts here, so if it was free-for-all, it would be over in seconds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I hand out three (one to each child) and once they each have one, they open at the same time. Video tape or take a photo of each and move on to the next one. I want to try one at a time, but dh says it's stupid. I can't figure out why it's "stupid". :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Dh's family (4 kids) and my family (6 kids) took turns and watched. Our kids are allowed to open their stockings while they wait for us. We don't do presents until the sun comes up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We take turns and watch so that the giver (if present) can see the reaction of the reciever. It also helps DH and I keep track of what the faraway relatives sent to the kids so they can write accurate thank you notes. Finally, it helps to keep little items from getting lost in the scraps of paper and thrown away. (We stuff the torn off paper in a garbage bag after each round of gifts.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I just mentioned this in another thread. We all get one gift on our lap and then open simultaneously. Then we look around the room and ooohh and aahhh. My kids don't enjoy the attention put on them if they have to be the only one opening a gift. They feel like they are in the spotlight. Plus, since they all have the same number of gifts, this means that when the last gift is opened, everyone is finished at the same time. The free-for-all style usually sees one child finished and just sitting there watching the others still opening the gifts. It can give the illusion that the others got way more stuff. I realize that kids should learn to be grateful for the gifts they get, but it feels weird to not have a gift to open with other people are opening one. When I was little, I remember that happening with me and my sister. She opened things so fast that she started "helping" me open mine! Egads! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gailmegan Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Stockings are a free-for-all, but the separate gifts we open one-by-one. We have the kids alternate turns, then once they are done, dh and I open ours by taking turns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We open one at a time and watch each other. I love doing it this way as we each to get to appreciate what the other person received. Plus it seems to make the time more relaxed. One year we did the free-for-all way and everything was over in a flash. I hated that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChandlerMom Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I think we take it a step further than "one at a time and watch" -- extended family isn't invited for our main Christmas time, so with just the five of us, each person selects one present, we take turns opening it (ok, sometimes we let the kids unwrap at the same time and then show each other what they got), THEN they get to play with the present....for however long they want. If they chose the present of "socks" we might let them choose another or they'll play with their siblings. EVENTUALLY (often hours later), someone will say, "can we open another?" and if they're all ready to "move on" they pick the next gift. It usually takes a few days to open all the presents (and they really do NOT have that many, maybe 6-8 presents and that can still take DAYS to unwrap). Basically, we spent years watching my niece opening presents, being excited, only to have them grabbed away and a new present put in her hands that we opted to really ENJOY each present (and they do, plus they remember when they got each present and from whom). This year I'm thinking about having them write one thank you note each day. This year my mom will be coming over Christmas evening, so she can give her presents to the kids then and they'll open them together. Another tradition we have is Epiphany gifts. Basically, it's a second chance to get that gift you REALLY wanted but didn't get (usually an issue that MIL said she wanted to get but then didn't, and the kids' "wish list" is usually just a couple smaller items anyways). That means I can order them during the after Christmas sale and have time to get them shipped. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 My mom is like you--wants to pass out everything and have everyone ooo and ah over it. We don't do a free for all. I pass or dh passes, and we usually all have something to work on, and we share it as we open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma2Many66 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We take turns and watch each other. I want my kids to really enjoy opening their gifts and enjoy watching the expressions on their brothers and sisters faces. I love to see all my children ooh and aww over their siblings gifts and discuss how they all can share it later or what they will do with it together. I want to see my children show appreciation for each gift that they recieve whether it is from us or from their grandparents or other friends and family members. I also spend a HUGE amount of time picking out the perfect gifts for each member of my family and it would KILL ME if they had a free for all and nobody took their time and appreciated the gifts. Same way as when I make a HUGE holiday dinner, I want everyone to take their time, enjoy their food, talk to one another and enjoy the meal together. Not shove the food into their mouths to rush to get the whole experience over with as quickly as possible. I spent weeks and weeks planning the menu, finding the perfect recipes, shopping for all the ingrediants, preparing the foods and then they shove it in their mouths at a marathon pace. No way, not in my house. Gifts and food on Christmas for our family are to be savored and apprecaited and absorbed slowly. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I voted other. The little guys open theirs first and the rest of us watch. There's no way they would calmly take turns opening gifts but since there is only two of them (and they can be slow getting the paper off) it works out okay that we can see. Plus they still believe its all a surprise to us too so they usually bring each item to dh or I to "show" us. ;) After the little guys are done with their main gifts, we give them their stockings to open and dh, dd17 and I take turns opening our gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We do a round of presents at a time. Each person gets one...or two if they are small and that person has more than the others. Then we enjoy checking out what was opened for a few minutes before moving on. With 8 kids, it would take all day to open them one at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinter Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 When we're all up, we go down and the kids have a free-for-all with their stockings and their gifts from Santa. I don't wrap those, they're just in piles for each kid. For the rest of the gifts, we open them one at a time, with the three younger kids sitting by their piles and my oldest bringing the gifts to them. I think it's important to remember exactly which gift is from which person, so the thank-you cards can be personalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 In our family each kid's gifts is wrapped in a particular paper instead of labeling with names. On Christmas morning I tell them which paper belongs to each of them. We pass out all of the gifts, and the kids all open together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 :iagree: It is disrespectful to the gift-giver, and to the thought and effort they put into choosing the gift, not to allow them the joy of watching the recipient as the gift is opened. Sure, it might seem like "more fun" for the recipients to just tear into the gifts as they please. This is called greed and self-centeredness. They have already been given a gift--the gift itself! Their gift back to those who blessed them with those boxes and bags of goodies is the pleasure of seeing them unwrap the treats in a respectful and civilized manner. I always go back and forth on this idea. Is it greedy to open a present quickly, or is it selfish for the giver to control how a gift is opened? Giving gifts isn't really my thing, so if I've given a gift I think someone will like, I don't care what they do. As long as I know it has been received, I feel fulfilled on my end. My family members that use gifts to show their love do prefer gifts are treated in a certain manner. Is it self-centered to insist that a gift that has already been given is about the giver, or is it polite? I'm just not sure. I know what is considered "appropriate" but I'm not sure how I feel about it. If I'm present, a "thank you" after it has been opened is sufficient. I wouldn't be impressed by tearing something open to throw it aside and then grab the next thing, but tearing something open with joy and thanking someone before moving on quickly is fine. It's all theory in our house though. I'm lucky if I can drag the children away from what they have opened to open the next present. If we open a package of socks, my children will insist on trying them all on before we go on to anything else. It makes for a longer process than I have patience for. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We take turns and all watch each other. The exception might be if the kids are in the middle of something, and someone hands a package to DH or me; the kids might not be watching, and that's okay. Or if two children are receiving similar/the same gifts, we might have them open them at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Poll coming EVERY year Dh and I have this conversation. His house was a free for all. When you woke up, you get to open all of your gifts even if no one else is awake. I want us all seated. We pass out gifts and open in turn so we can all see and watch as the next person opens. Dawn What's the fun of a free for all? No one gets to enjoy it because there is too much commotion. We take turns and we take our time to make it last. The kids have always loved the undivided attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I always go back and forth on this idea. Is it greedy to open a present quickly, or is it selfish for the giver to control how a gift is opened? Good point; I hadn't thought of it that way (I tend to be controlling in general, so I wouldn't have given a 2nd thought to "controlling" the way gifts are opened. I'm the mom, and I'm running this show! :lol:) I wasn't really speaking of the giver controlling how the gift is opened, so much as the parents of the child (or whomever is hosting the holiday event) setting a tone and a precedent for how gifts should be opened, as a lesson in manners and being a gracious and grateful recipient of someone's kindness. I always taught my kids: 1. Take your time with each item; investigate it, find out what it's for/how it works 2. If you are disappointed, don't show it; be gracious 3. Thank the giver, if present 4. Pass the gift around for others to enjoy 5. Treat each gift with respect out of gratitude for the thought and effort behind it, even if you're not thrilled with the item I have no problem with kids tearing each individual gift's wrapping off in a mad frenzy as long as, once opened, the above manners are applied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I am puzzled why a "free-for all" is automatically greedy? We have a free-for-all at home, but we take turns when at the Grandparent's. My kids adapt easily, and I would think other kids could adapt as well. Our kids get to open whichever present they want as quickly as they want, but they don't have greedy present-opening manners. :confused: They usually open a present, play with it for a while, and then we have to tell them to go to the next one. We love seeing them open the presents, but we get much more joy out of seeing them using the presents. Present opening is short, but playing with the gifts lasts the entire rest of the day. I don't even take time to cook since we are too busy playing. I expect when they are older and getting fewer presents we will have a more orderly method. For now the free-for-all is perfect for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I don't think the free for all is necessarily greedy. It could just be joyful. But I do think then you can miss the extra joy of seeing your gift opened by someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovin Learnin Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Growing up my family always took turns and watched each other. Youngest to oldest. That is how we do it with my children and with my dh's side of the family. BUT, somehow my extended family turned gift opening into a free for all. Everyone is in the same room but we all open at once. I don't like it at all and feel like we miss so much. I like to see the recipient open their gift from me. I''ll again plead with my family this year to do it one at a time but I have little hope that they will abide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I posted other because my kids tend to open at the same time, but the adults wait and watch them. Then the adults take turns opening gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 At our house it's a blend between "open all at once" and "one at a time". We'll hand out a gift and open it, giving everyone a chance to see what everyone else got before we dive in for another round. If the kids get really excited, sometimes it goes really fast, but we try to slow them down. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I voted other. We pass each child one gift and then they open them together, but we take time to see what each one got after the opening is done. At my ILs house though, all the grandkids are allowed to have a free for all...sort of. There is usually one designated adult to pass out all the gifts and then the kids can just tear in to them. All the chaos is enough to drive me batty. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.