Calling people on the phone is...

[Ginevra]

We simply must have a poll! :D

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Depends on whom I'm calling!

[Guest]

bumping for other phobics. :D

[Veritaserum]

It took work on my part to move from torture/phobia to whatever the next one was (don't love/tolerate).

[AvasMom]

Yes on torture and dreadful, no on physical symptoms (unless you count whining to dh until he gives in and makes the call for me...lol!) so I went with the second option.

[Guest]

It took work on my part to move from torture/phobia to whatever the next one was (don't love/tolerate).

 

How did you "fix" yourself? I have not been able to actually reframe this fully. I can make myself follow through with calls, even calls that are fraught with tension, but I still feel the same way about it the next time. So - I can do it this time, and I will be able to do it again next time, but I still have to go through this long mental battle each and every time.

[Meriwether]

Ack! I call people on the phone every day. My mom and my sister and often Dh. I love talking on the phone. Calling almost everyone else is a chore. I will let important things go before calling a stranger. I really dislike calling places of business. I feel like I'm bothering them. I tell myself repeatedly that they want my business.

[Denise in Florida]

Phone calls are easily the most dreaded part of my household work. I will go to ridiculous lengths to do anything else. Even calling my family (whom I get along with very well) and friends causes anxiety.

[Guest]

I wonder if the phone anxiety thing is strictly a feature of introverts. All the extroverts I know call people without a moment's hesitation.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Friends are a joy. Calling a business because I have to argue over the bill or for some other problem can cause anxiety.

[Amy Jo]

For most people, it's 'not something I enjoy'. I'm trying to get better though, and I'm pretty comfortable talking with some people. I just worry that I'll bug them, so I usually email. I chose 'Something else'. I assumed you meant personal calls, btw.

 

ETA: I actually would rather call a business over a person. I know exactly what to do then, whether I'm checking on a price or working out a billing / service issue.

Edited December 6, 2011 by mtcougar832

[Myeightkiddies]

I greatly dislike calling people (chose the first option). Fortunately I do not need to do it often as I have several adult-aged children still living at home. Someone is always home to make a call if need be. I'm not even a fan of talking on the phone. My dh is fine, as well as my children. Everyone else takes some effort.

 

Strangely enough, before I retired in October, I was on the phone non-stop every morning, and I am sure no one even remotely thought it might not be comfortable for me. I can do what I need to do, but whether it is comfortable, painful, or worse, is another story.

[Elinor Everywhere]

I strongly dislike it, although I don't know why. I'm friendly and enjoy talking, but in person. I normally schedule all my social life through emails/texts/facebook. I used to meet a good friend of mine years ago at the park when our kids were young (fellow homeschooler). We met weekly for YEARS, and sometimes more than that. I think in all that time, we talked on the phone twice. Luckily, she was an emailer/texter like me.

[Belacqua]

 

ETA: I actually would rather call a business over a person. I know exactly what to do then, whether I'm checking on a price or working out a billing / service issue.

 

Oh, yes. This.

 

Hate phone calls. Hate, hate, hate. So as a young adult, I had the brilliant (and, granted, economically necessary) idea of taking a summer job doing phone surveys, thinking it would cure me. Real genius plan, that. :glare: Oddly,a summer of getting yelled at, hung up on, informed that I was a parasite with questionable hygiene, and kindly told that the person I was calling had just died did not do much to help the situation.

 

Thank goodness for e-mail. Saved my sanity and social life!

[Aurelia]

I do it as part of my job. I don't enjoy it, but it's nothing to stress over, either. I used to hate it, my heart would pound, and rather do anything, even latrine duty, to avoid it. I got over it because I had to do it numerous times a day. After awhile, one becomes desensitized.

[sparrow]

Friends are a joy. Calling a business because I have to argue over the bill or for some other problem can cause anxiety.

 

 

I'm the complete opposite. I can typically handle calling a business because I have "business" to talk about and then I can get off the phone. Friend calls require me to fill in silences with nervous chatter :tongue_smilie:.

 

I don't get it. I have no problem talking with friends in person. I've just always had a LOT of trouble giving them a call :(. My close friends know this and will typically make plans with me by e-mail.

[K&Rs Mom]

I like getting calls, hate making them. :001_huh:

[Daisy]

Yes on torture and dreadful, no on physical symptoms (unless you count whining to dh until he gives in and makes the call for me...lol!) so I went with the second option.

 

:iagree: Same here. I loathe it.

 

I don't answer the phone EVER.

 

But I will force myself to make a business phone call when necessary.

 

BTW, I never went though that teenage-ear-glued-to-the-phone stage either.

[Matryoshka]

I wonder if the phone anxiety thing is strictly a feature of introverts. All the extroverts I know call people without a moment's hesitation.

 

Well, I'm an extrovert, and I don't have a problem calling close family or friends I see already all the time. I also don't have much of a problem with a place of business/someone I'm only ever going to talk to once in my life so who cares.

 

But... I have a fairly significant problem calling people that I either know but not that well, don't know yet but may have reason to have contact with in the future, or even people I consider good friends but who for reasons of distance or life circumstances I haven't seen IRL in a while. I have major angst around that and can talk myself out of calling. I worry it's a bad time, that they'll wonder what the heck I'm calling for, all sorts of reasons.

 

I love getting calls from faraway friends or those I haven't talked with in a while, so I have no idea why I'd think my calls wouldn't be similarly received, but there it is...

Edited December 6, 2011 by matroyshka

[mamakven]

WOW! and i thought i was just plain WEIRD for hating the phone!!!!

[Daisy]

Folks get irritated with me that they can't reach me by cell phone. I have a cell but I rarely answer it. I guess I consider it something for MY convenience and use, but not so that everyone on the planet can yak with me all day.

[lovetobehome]

Wow, I am surprised! I never knew calling was so hard for people! I consider it my own destressor, it is therapeutic. I have no difficulty making phone calls whatsoever. I guess I should be more sympathetic to others who may not enjoy receiving calls!

[Veritaserum]

How did you "fix" yourself? I have not been able to actually reframe this fully. I can make myself follow through with calls, even calls that are fraught with tension, but I still feel the same way about it the next time. So - I can do it this time, and I will be able to do it again next time, but I still have to go through this long mental battle each and every time.

 

I think it was probably due to my small business. I had to talk to my customers on the phone for every transaction (classes that I pre-qualified people for to make sure it was mutually worth our time). I had to psych myself up for it every time I answered a call and every time I placed one, but my anxiety lessened over time. I knew what questions I needed to ask and what questions I was likely to be asked. I guess you might say I developed confidence in my phone skills. I did several calls a week, sometimes per day (my classes were very popular) until I decided to stop teaching about a year ago.

 

If I have to call someone and don't really need a response, I hope I get their voicemail. :tongue_smilie: I do still beg dh to call the pizza guy or the bank or whatever, but I can do it if he's not available. I love that so many things can be done online now. I'm an introvert who can be social but likes quiet, private downtime. :)

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

Not something I enjoy. Can be torture. Occasionally can be nice (calling my mom, sisters, or best friend).

[Ellesmere]

I wonder if the phone anxiety thing is strictly a feature of introverts. All the extroverts I know call people without a moment's hesitation.

I'm an introvert.

 

I will go to almost any lengths to avoid talking on the phone. I will only answer if I absolutely have to. I'd much rather see who I'm talking with.

 

At my old job, I made and received calls all the time. Not a problem, no anxiety or hesitation. They weren't scripted calls, but I knew what I was doing and felt comfortable in my work. I talked frequently with the same people, so it wasn't devoid of socializing. But I do think the business-related nature helped me along.

 

These days, I can comfortably talk with two or three people on the phone, and it doesn't directly correlate with how much I like a person or how long I've known them.

[LaxMom]

Yes on torture and dreadful, no on physical symptoms (unless you count whining to dh until he gives in and makes the call for me...lol!) so I went with the second option.

 

Me, too. I hate calling people.

[Word Nerd]

I answered "torture!!!" in my head before I even read the poll. (I'm sure working as a customer service representative and being one of the people calls got escalated to when people asked to speak to a manager has nothing to do with how I feel about phones. :))

[crazyforlatin]

It's a wonderful thing to do live chat with businesses.

[Myeightkiddies]

WOW! and i thought i was just plain WEIRD for hating the phone!!!!

 

Same. I knew that there had to be someone else like me, but I had no idea that so many were.

[Lady Marmalade]

Torture. If there is a call I HAVE to make, I will put it off as absolute long as I possibly can. I don't talk on the phone, period. I hate everything about it. I especially hate the thought that I am interrupting someone with whatever it is they are doing.

 

I pretty much don't answer the phone. I definitely don't answer my cell phone. Text messages were a Godsend to me, and e-mail is my preferred means of communication.

[KrissiK]

I hate it. I have to rehearse everything I say before I say it. I'd rather chew my arm off than have to call someone on the phone!

[Aquinas Academy]

I'm in the "it's torture group". On the bright side, I get lots of other things done while avoiding calling people.

I'm definitely an introvert.

[Word Nerd]

Text messages were a Godsend to me, and e-mail is my preferred means of communication.

 

Definitely!

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I don't hate the phone, but I DO hate calling strangers/acquaintances or businesses. I have no issue chit chatting with friends or family for hours though :)

[Jen in PA]

I never minded making calls until I had kids. It annoys me that when businesses are open for calls, my dc are awake and loud or in need of things everytime I actually get through. I even put off making calls that should be pleasant because they always seem to get interrupted.

[In2why]

I don't have any anxiety over it, I just don't like to do it. The idea of calling someone to chat is beyond me. I use the phone as a tool, and hardly ever even answer the phone. It has even become a family thing that people will call and say to the machine I know you can hear me and will call me back when you get a chance to answer xyz question.

 

I love face to face conversations though, and keep in touch through email and facebook for the day to day stuff.

[Garga]

Totally depends. Now that I have kids, I feel like I don't have the time for a proper conversation, so it makes me feel stressed to try to take the time for phone calls, but it's not torture.

 

If it's someone I really like, then I don't mind so much.

[aggieamy]

I don't hate the phone, but I DO hate calling strangers/acquaintances or businesses. I have no issue chit chatting with friends or family for hours though :)

 

I totally agree with this. I love talking to my sister, DH, father, or grandmother on the phone. I could talk to them all day (and with my sister sometimes I do!). Anyone else - pure torture. I don't mind actually seeing them and can talk in person just fine but on the phone I'm an awkward duck.

Edited December 6, 2011 by aggieamy

[Mrs Mungo]

Friends are a joy. Calling a business because I have to argue over the bill or for some other problem can cause anxiety.

 

I voted joy, but this is true too.

[Denisemomof4]

I put normal but probably should have put an absolute joy. I love calling people because the time to talk is right for me. I regularly have to ignore my incoming calls because all too often I'm too busy to pick up the phone. :sad:

[Wildiris]

Amusing question. I learned as a very young woman to make "cold" calls. In fact making cold calls is one of my favorite things to do. I ask questions; I'm not afraid to be a total fool and ask seemingly stupid questions. I've had some interesting conversations with people I've never met in real life even if the call is more business oriented. I'm the household phone jockey. I've found places to live, had credit card companies knock-off their late fees, and asked people to do perform tasks all while calling from a great distance. I do not fear the phone.

 

 

[SonshineLearner]

Normal, minus the fact that my cell is hard to be understood with.... I talk as clearly as I can, and the spot where the mic picks up is very small. Cell phones and I just don't mix ;(

[justamouse]

Amusing question. I learned as a very young woman to make "cold" calls. In fact making cold calls is one of my favorite things to do. I ask questions; I'm not afraid to be a total fool and ask seemingly stupid questions. I've had some interesting conversations with people I've never met in real life even if the call is more business oriented. I'm the household phone jockey. I've found places to live, had credit card companies knock-off their late fees, and asked people to do perform tasks all while calling from a great distance. I do not fear the phone.

 

 

 

I can, and have worked in places where I do nothing all day but make cold calls. And, I've even been a sales rep and been on the phone all day. *personal* calls are a whole nuther ball of wax.

 

Cold calls are easy (though I do procrastinate now). Any other call is emotionally taxing.

 

I think, perhaps, I got cold called out? :-)

Edited December 6, 2011 by justamouse

[justamouse]

Not something I enjoy. Can be torture. Occasionally can be nice (calling my mom, sisters, or best friend).

HIJACK

 

your book detectives post is brilliant. BRILLIANT!

 

/hijack

[Ali in OR]

We call it being phone shy here. Both dh and I have this problem. I'm fine calling businesses--he is not. I have a much harder time with friends or acquaintances, even extended family. Would much rather send an e-mail. And I'm much more comfortable talking to people in person--that's my first choice. Even worse than the phone is skype which my in-laws like to use. There's just a bit of a delay and the whole experience is about the most socially awkward thing I know! I stay out of the room during dh's weekly calls.

[Paige]

I hate talking on the phone and making calls. Usually, once I begin the call, I am fine. It's still something I have to get myself psyched up for each time, however! The absolute hardest part of my college experience was during my research project, that I designed, which required calling up professors and asking permission to survey their class, and then calling up my interview candidates to request and schedule an interview. The interviews were not anxiety producing at all. I am an excellent public speaker and do not get stage fright. I used the phone freely as a preteen and teen, but for some reason I quit liking the phone as a young adult. I will tell new friends that I really don't like to talk on the phone and will try to make all non face to face contact via the internet. I don't even like texting.

[Kirch]

Something else--depends who it is. Someone I know and love? Enjoy it. Have to call someone I don't know well to ask for information or ask them to do something (i.e., for church)? I'd much rather e-mail. I don't have any trouble making business calls, arranging appointments, etc., though.

[CAMom]

I voted torture. I am getting better though. :) I call at the beginning of my physical symptoms before they get so bad that I absolutely cannot do it.;)

 

My older kids both suffer from the exact same anxiety.

[meggie]

It took work on my part to move from torture/phobia to whatever the next one was (don't love/tolerate).

 

Same here. I used to get the racing heart, fast breathing whenever I had to. I don't remember how I "got over it" probably just a lot of telling myself that it wasn't the worst thing in the world and that nothing truly terrible has come of me calling someone on the phone. I still don't like it because it's often hard to hear people on cell phones, but at least I do it without feeling like I might have a panic attack.

 

ETA: Oh I remember what it was. I married DH and he hates calling more than me, so I was roped into doing most of it. Now we're both better about it, neither of us likes it, but we don't freak out so much.

Edited December 6, 2011 by meggie

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I hate talking on the phone LOL