People who never call

[Elizabeth in MN]

Personally I hate calling people. I email before I call.

[Myeightkiddies]

I'm not sure if this has been suggested, as I haven't read all the responses, but perhaps you could trade email addresses with her. If she isn't much of a caller, maybe she will initiate more via email. She could just be shy about initiating. However, I'm certain she likes you. If she didn't, she would think of excuses not to get together.

[Lisa R.]

Do you require all of your get togethers be set up via the phone? Or do you e-mail, text? I agree friendship is a two-way street, but most of my planning either via text, e-mail, or PM. I don't see that as no effort, simply a different medium.

 

I don't care which medium someone uses to make contact. A phone call or no phone call isn't the issue. It is the lack of initiation that now makes me look elsewhere for friendship.

[plain jane]

Do you require all of your get togethers be set up via the phone? Or do you e-mail, text? I agree friendship is a two-way street, but most of my planning either via text, e-mail, or PM. I don't see that as no effort, simply a different medium.

 

The person in my life almost never initiates. She answers my phone calls, returns my phone messages ;), replies to my emails. But pick up the phone or send an email first? Nope. :confused:

[Lisa R.]

When a friend calls me, I figure it is because THEY need the contact. I don't. It doesn't mean I don't consider them friends. When they want to go for coffee..okay, let's go. But I'm not likely to ever feel the need to call a friend up and arrange for a coffee date, kwim?

 

I consider that I'm reciprocating by actually talking to them when they stop by and going with them for coffee when they want to go. I'm never going to play social tit-for-tat.

 

This is not reciprocation. This is accepting an invitation. Reciprocating is every once in awhile extending an invitation or organizing an outing. Social tit-for-tat sounds like some sort of competition. That is not what the OP is talking about.

 

The fact that you don't ever feel the need to call up a friend (or email or text) to get together sounds to me that you don't need the friendship. At least that's how I interpret this attitude.

 

Your friends appear to be fine with this arrangement. That is okay. However, my point is that I'm done with friendships that operate like this.

 

I completely understand what the OP is talking about.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

This is not reciprocation. This is accepting an invitation. Reciprocating is every once in awhile extending an invitation or organizing an outing. Social tit-for-tat sounds like some sort of competition. That is not what the OP is talking about.

 

The fact that you don't ever feel the need to call up a friend (or email or text) to get together sounds to me that you don't need the friendship. At least that's how I interpret this attitude.

 

Your friends appear to be fine with this arrangement. That is okay. However, my point is that I'm done with friendships that operate like this.

 

I completely understand what the OP is talking about.

 

To each their own, and obviously, you are entitled to your feelings.

 

However, for some people that initiation is very, VERY hard. In no way, though, does it mean that the friendship is any less valuable to that person. It's not as black and white as, if the friendship is important to them, they will do it.

[teachermom2834]

I've suffered rejection in an important friendship and have some baggage from my childhood that makes me really reluctant to initiate plans or call. I am always very cheerful and eager to accept invites and calls but I do have a hard time initiating.

 

It's a self confidence thing for me. I've had friends call me on it.

 

I'm like this with everyone- casual friends, family, even my bff.

 

To those that have been hurt by someone like me, I'm sorry. It isn't always that the other person doesn't care about you :(

 

I would like a friend to talk to me about it if it was bothering her. I would then need her reassurances that she really does want to hear from me/hang out.

[Daisy]

This is not reciprocation. This is accepting an invitation. Reciprocating is every once in awhile extending an invitation or organizing an outing. Social tit-for-tat sounds like some sort of competition. That is not what the OP is talking about.

 

The fact that you don't ever feel the need to call up a friend (or email or text) to get together sounds to me that you don't need the friendship. At least that's how I interpret this attitude.

 

Your friends appear to be fine with this arrangement. That is okay. However, my point is that I'm done with friendships that operate like this.

 

I completely understand what the OP is talking about.

 

By social tit-for-tat I simply meant, "I called you three times, so now you should call me," type stuff. That is exactly how I would feel if my friend said, "I always call you, but you never call me."

 

I'm quite happy to be friends naturally. I don't feel the need to schedule friendship. It happens when it happens. If I see you, I see you. I suppose to a certain degree I prefer casual friendships to more intimate ones. But more than all of that, I simple don't like having social obligations pressed upon me.

 

I can understand your desire to be done with friendships like this. I guess my point is simply that the op won't change her friend. She either values the friendship enough to be happy with the way it is or she moves on. I'm usually relieved when someone moves on especially if their expectations are beyond my ability to meet them.

Edited December 6, 2011 by Daisy

[Mrs Mungo]

I am an extrovert. I talk on the phone all the time. The Internet is an additional way to talk to people for me, not a replacement. I have introvert friends. I know they are introverts. I know I will be the one doing the calling and inviting, I have learned not to take it personally. :)

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I've suffered rejection in an important friendship and have some baggage from my childhood that makes me really reluctant to initiate plans or call. I am always very cheerful and eager to accept invites and calls but I do have a hard time initiating.

 

It's a self confidence thing for me. I've had friends call me on it.

 

I'm like this with everyone- casual friends, family, even my bff.

 

To those that have been hurt by someone like me, I'm sorry. It isn't always that the other person doesn't care about you :(

 

I would like a friend to talk to me about it if it was bothering her. I would then need her reassurances that she really does want to hear from me/hang out.

:iagree:

[The Girls' Mom]

My SIL has a huge phone phobia. She'll talk to me for hours...if I call HER. But she has rarely calls me, and I'm probably one of the few she's actually comfortable calling. She absolutly hates calling people.

 

I don't mind at all, if I know you don't mind me calling. I don't tend to call my other friends, mostly because they have busy lives and I don't want to interrupt something. Texting seems to be the preferred method of communication among my group of friends anyway.

[KrissiK]

I never call people. Ever, if I can help it. But I have a phone phobia. I will have dh call people for us if at all possible. It's annoying and stupid :glare:, but there it is. I will text or talk to people on FB, but I will not call people until there is no option, and never ever for pleasure. I have told my friends this, though, so they don't think I'm ignoring them....

 

This is totally me. I just have to tell my friends that I love them, it's nothing personal, but I just won't call them. But I do e-mail, Facebook, etc. so I guess you can say I initiate communication, just not telephonal communication.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't care which medium someone uses to make contact. A phone call or no phone call isn't the issue. It is the lack of initiation that now makes me look elsewhere for friendship.

 

:iagree:

[HappyCrazyMama]

I'm not really a caller either. I worry that I might be giving offense, but I certainly don't intend it.

:iagree: I do worry that I might make people feel like the OP.:( I don't even call my sister, honestly I'm not sure if I ever have.:blushing: I rarely call my mother, she calls me weekly, and I could probably count on one hand how many times I've called my adult daughter since she moved in with my parents to go to CC. Though we do text, email and FB.:) (Thank God!) I don't have a phone phobia either, I just toodle around in my own little world and hardly ever think of the telephone.:001_huh: You can count me as one that doesn't plan outings either, terrible about hospitality too. Gosh, I'm feeling like a jerk!:glare: But I love my friends and family and I am happy when they call me and chat.:D

[Annie Laurie]

I don't like talking on the phone either. To be honest, it's because I find it hard to control the length of the conversation without being rude. I tend to have chatty friends I guess, and I love talking to them, but would prefer to do so in person. Because over the phone just means that my kids take advantage of the fact that I'm preoccupied and start arguing with each other or being hyper or generally obnoxious, and then I can't hear anyway. And then I also have to keep interrupting to take care of whatever with the kids.

 

And if the kids are in bed or having quiet time, the last thing I want to do is talk or listen to another person. I need silence. My brain is fried at that point and I am incapable of contributing to a conversation.

 

So instead I email people and only call when I have to.

[Running the race]

I detest calling people, even my good friends.

 

Now emailing, I love to do that!

[Fleur de Lis]

Thanks so much to everyone who has shared your difficulties! :grouphug:

Edited December 12, 2011 by Fleur de Lis

[silliness7]

This isn't a rant about someone, it's a genuine question because I don't know what to make of this and I'm way too chicken to simply ask her. :tongue_smilie:

 

There's a lady in my life that I've known for about 5 years now. Our kids have become very close friends and often have sleep overs and play dates. They also talk on the phone a lot.

 

Dh and I have had their family over for dinner/meals probably every few months for the last 5 years. I often call her and ask her to tea in the evening to get out or go shopping for a bit. I also used to call her once a week or once every two weeks just to say hello and we'd have good conversations and end up talking until one of us really has to go to make supper or get one with things. When the kids play we sit and visit. We seem to get along good.:confused:

 

Every time I call and invite her somewhere, she sounds happy to be invited and readily accepts. If we invite them for a meal, they find a way to make it so they can come and both of us try hard to get the kids together to play.

 

I'd say we were friends except she never calls me. Well, not exactly never, but only once, *maybe* twice a year and usually it's with a specific question. If we are to get together at a park or whatever, it's always my idea. I usually am the one to call and suggest a play date (she always readily accepts) or if I call just to say "hi" she'll sometimes say, "oh, Jane, let's get the kids together." But she'll never call me and suggest that. She never calls just to say hello, although a couple times when I've called her she'll say, "oh, I was thinking about

calling you." :rolleyes:

 

I don't know if I'm being childish and immature or if others would be hurt too. I don't really feel very important when she never takes the time to think to invite me to do anything.

 

Ugh. Am I just a baby about this? What do you make of this? Maybe she just doesn't like me. I can deal with that. :) Honestly, I am okay with that, but then why would she readily accept when I suggest getting together? Once we're doing something together, she does suggest meeting up again so I don't think she's against spending time with me. :confused: We do often meet up without the kids.

 

I'm not happy with how things are but I'm not comfortable with simply talking to her about it. I know she'll feel attacked and get super defensive and I don't want to offend her. She's a nice lady. I just don't understand what's going on.:confused:

 

I am this lady and I know I am. Once, ONCE, I picked up the phone and invited a dear friend to go do something fun on a whim. I was so dang proud of myself. It's just not *like* me. I don't know why. I'm not very spontaneous, kind of a cave dweller, but if someone else has a fun idea I'm all ears.

 

My guess is she really likes you and enjoys your friendship. She's just not the initiating type.

[mlbuchina]

I never call people. Ever, if I can help it. But I have a phone phobia. I will have dh call people for us if at all possible. It's annoying and stupid :glare:, but there it is. I will text or talk to people on FB, but I will not call people until there is no option, and never ever for pleasure. I have told my friends this, though, so they don't think I'm ignoring them....

 

This is so me! I had no idea to even think about it being a phobia. :001_huh: I love my friends, and we have the same relationships that the op describes.

 

I don't even call my mother, but very rarely!

[happi duck]

I never call people. Ever, if I can help it. But I have a phone phobia. I will have dh call people for us if at all possible. It's annoying and stupid :glare:, but there it is. I will text or talk to people on FB, but I will not call people until there is no option, and never ever for pleasure. I have told my friends this, though, so they don't think I'm ignoring them....

 

This is me too except I don't have facebook or a means to text.

[Guest submarines]

This isn't a rant about someone, it's a genuine question because I don't know what to make of this and I'm way too chicken to simply ask her. :tongue_smilie:

 

There's a lady in my life that I've known for about 5 years now. Our kids have become very close friends and often have sleep overs and play dates. They also talk on the phone a lot.

 

Dh and I have had their family over for dinner/meals probably every few months for the last 5 years. I often call her and ask her to tea in the evening to get out or go shopping for a bit. I also used to call her once a week or once every two weeks just to say hello and we'd have good conversations and end up talking until one of us really has to go to make supper or get one with things. When the kids play we sit and visit. We seem to get along good.:confused:

 

Every time I call and invite her somewhere, she sounds happy to be invited and readily accepts. If we invite them for a meal, they find a way to make it so they can come and both of us try hard to get the kids together to play.

 

I'd say we were friends except she never calls me. Well, not exactly never, but only once, *maybe* twice a year and usually it's with a specific question. If we are to get together at a park or whatever, it's always my idea. I usually am the one to call and suggest a play date (she always readily accepts) or if I call just to say "hi" she'll sometimes say, "oh, Jane, let's get the kids together." But she'll never call me and suggest that. She never calls just to say hello, although a couple times when I've called her she'll say, "oh, I was thinking about

calling you." :rolleyes:

 

I don't know if I'm being childish and immature or if others would be hurt too. I don't really feel very important when she never takes the time to think to invite me to do anything.

 

Ugh. Am I just a baby about this? What do you make of this? Maybe she just doesn't like me. I can deal with that. :) Honestly, I am okay with that, but then why would she readily accept when I suggest getting together? Once we're doing something together, she does suggest meeting up again so I don't think she's against spending time with me. :confused: We do often meet up without the kids.

 

I'm not happy with how things are but I'm not comfortable with simply talking to her about it. I know she'll feel attacked and get super defensive and I don't want to offend her. She's a nice lady. I just don't understand what's going on.:confused:

 

I have a friend exactly like this, and I even thought about posting here about the situation! The only difference her child is grown, and she's older than me, we are not working about getting our kids together.

 

She seems to really enjoy talking to me when I call. We have GREAT conversations. When I suggest we go out, we have great time. She called maybe twice, with something very specific as well, not just to talk.

 

She does return my calls, if I leave a message and ask her to call back when she has a moment. But she has never called on her own.

 

Not sure if this qualifies as a phone phobia, as she does return calls, and she'd often say "I have to call S." or "I have to call my friend B." So she does call.

 

Maybe it is a phobia of calling first? It is kind of frustrating at times, but I try to be understanding and try not to focus on this part of our friendship.

[meggie]

I'm not generally one to initiate, but with one friend I did. I thought we were kindred spirits or whatever. I always had a good time hanging out with her. So I invited her to do things. And always at the last minute, she'd have some excuse to get out of it. OP, I think if your friend accepts your invitations and enjoys them, you have nothing to worry about. If she didn't want to do things with you, she would be able to find an excuse. And they would probably be sent via FB or email since that's an easy way out nowadays.

[tex-mex]

I never call people. Ever, if I can help it. But I have a phone phobia. I will have dh call people for us if at all possible. It's annoying and stupid :glare:, but there it is. I will text or talk to people on FB, but I will not call people until there is no option, and never ever for pleasure. I have told my friends this, though, so they don't think I'm ignoring them....

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

I have OCD/Anxiety and also detest talking on the telephone. I panic with not being able to see the person I am talking to or get flustered. I find no pleasure in talking for hours on the phone. Strangely enough, I can do Apple FaceTime as I can see the person and it is less stressful to try to communicate? :confused: But even that has to be short and to the point.

[lynn]

I am in the I don't call camp, unless it;s somethng specific. I hate getting stuck on the phone. I can only hear from my left ear and can;t switch sides, my neck hurts after a few min and my ear starts aching after 10. Thank God for speaker phones but I don't always want the kids to hear my conversations kwim.

[annandatje]

...Ugh. Am I just a baby about this? What do you make of this? Maybe she just doesn't like me. I can deal with that. :) Honestly, I am okay with that, but then why would she readily accept when I suggest getting together? Once we're doing something together, she does suggest meeting up again so I don't think she's against spending time with me. ..

 

No, you are not being a baby about it. It is genuinely hurtful. A few years ago, I was fed up and hurt by same situation. I stopped calling people (friends, acquaintances, and relatives) and waited to see who would call me of their own accord. It drastically reduced my number of ongoing contacts.

 

However, there are a couple people whose company I value so much that I am willing to call them a few times a year even though I am always the initiator. Friendship is a two way street. You have to make the call on whether you are willing to travel a one-way street; sometimes it can be worth it.

 

Try not to take it too personally. I am sure you are a dynamic caring person. Many people, especially women who bear brunt of household and childcare duties, are short on discretionary time to actively pursue non-child-centered friendships.

[scrappyhappymama]

This is not reciprocation. This is accepting an invitation. Reciprocating is every once in awhile extending an invitation or organizing an outing. Social tit-for-tat sounds like some sort of competition. That is not what the OP is talking about.

 

The fact that you don't ever feel the need to call up a friend (or email or text) to get together sounds to me that you don't need the friendship. At least that's how I interpret this attitude.

 

Your friends appear to be fine with this arrangement. That is okay. However, my point is that I'm done with friendships that operate like this.

 

I completely understand what the OP is talking about.

 

My mom NEVER calls people, including her children. She enjoys talking on the phone with us, but will never initiate the call. I used to take it personally, but now I have accepted that this is just how my mom is and I know she loves me, even if she never picks up the phone to say so! In fact, I am glad she likes talking with me when I call her, because other than with my siblings and I and my dad, she hates talking on the phone at all. I remember growing up, she refused to call other parents to make arrangements for activities, refused to call her best friend on the phone, just really refused to call anyone unless absolutely necessary.

 

I can only remember my mom calling me a few times in my adult life, and they have all been emergencies or at least urgent or somebody died. :001_huh:

 

As much as this bugged me growing up, I find that I too do not enjoy talking on the phone. I'll put off calls as long as possible or email or text instead if I can. Ironically, my mom is one of the few people I actually call and the one I spend the most time taking to on the phone. But I feel the same reluctance to call folks and "bug" them, even friends and other family members.

[annandatje]

I don't care which medium someone uses to make contact. A phone call or no phone call isn't the issue. It is the lack of initiation that now makes me look elsewhere for friendship.

 

:iagree:

[nancypantsgirl]

It's possible that she is simply overwhelmed with life. I have no idea what her situation is obviously but I can tell you that I have gone from the initiator -- with many people and very frequently -- to the one who hardly does anything or calls anyone because my life is so chaotic I can barely manage to keep my sanity on some days. Who knows the reason.... I do understand your frustration. I've been on your end of this situation. And the person I was frustrated with was not working full-time and had no children and I knew that she could have done more to encourage our friendship. As it is, since it was all one sided, when my life became the way it currently is (after we moved away) we have not kept in touch at all. So I do know how that feels... it hurts.

 

If you aren't really sure though that she's not, like me, under some sort of heavy burden (or several) just keep on loving her and being her friend even though she may not have the energy, forethought, togetherness or whatever to be able to initiate.

[lailasmum]

I am another person who hates the phone. Its pretty rare for me to phone people other than my my mum, husband, or sibilings. Its just plain scary. I also screen people when they call me, I would only answer the phone to those same people and maybe one or two friends. If I screen and return messages then it takes the fear out of it.

 

I am an introvert and have friends who of 7yrs who are extreme extroverts, they always initiate meet ups. I do call them maybe twice a year but it usually is for a question. They are full on and a day with them usually ends up with a couple of days recovery time, I just can't see them more than a few times a year with out going insane. I don't know if it annoys them.

 

I suppose I don't initiate meet ups with a lot of friends as I don't really have anything to offer. We have a scruffy chaotic house that they probably wouldn't have fun visiting and we are a bit overwhelmed with just the basic stuff of life.

 

I think your friend values when you intitate social stuff but she may just feel that she hasn't got much to bring to your friendship, lacks confidence or maybe doesn't need such an intense friendship because there is a lot of family stuff going on. I guess its up to you if that is enough. She may have also had some bad experiences with people that have made her more reserved.

 

Its a shame she doesn't text as that is the way I communicate with my closest friends and it is far less nerve wracking.

[Lisbeth]

I am phone phobic too....I have an easier time with professional calls like to doctors than to friends. Appt calls follow a standard script and are short and to the point.

[melissel]

I am not a caller, nor a planner of social outings. I really appreciate my friends who continue to be my friends but do the inviting. I am introverted, though you might not be able to tell from the outside. I need to recharge after being with people; being with people doesn't recharge me. Maybe that's the core, and I am very busy with work and homeschooling. I just don't think to plan anything social. When I have free time, I tend to crash. However, I do care about my friends and enjoy seeing them and being with them.

 

I would say if she seems happy to be with you--take it at that.

 

I was going to type up my own post, but instead, since Laurie described me so perfectly, I'll just say :iagree:.

[melissel]

I have a friend exactly like this, and I even thought about posting here about the situation! The only difference her child is grown, and she's older than me, we are not working about getting our kids together.

 

She seems to really enjoy talking to me when I call. We have GREAT conversations. When I suggest we go out, we have great time. She called maybe twice, with something very specific as well, not just to talk.

 

She does return my calls, if I leave a message and ask her to call back when she has a moment. But she has never called on her own.

 

Not sure if this qualifies as a phone phobia, as she does return calls, and she'd often say "I have to call S." or "I have to call my friend B." So she does call.

 

Maybe it is a phobia of calling first? It is kind of frustrating at times, but I try to be understanding and try not to focus on this part of our friendship.

 

I'm like this. I WILL make calls, but it's very hard for me. The only two people I can call without stress are my mom and my DH. To call anyone else, even to return calls or make doctor's appointments, requires a huge run-up of mental energy on my part. I can do it, but I will procrastinate on it as long as possible :( It doesn't help that we gave up our land line last year, and I don't like talking on a cell phone. Sometimes there's a delay, interference, a momentary drop in the connection, etc. that makes the call even more stressful. So I CAN make calls, and I will when I have to, and once I make the call or answer the call, it's fine and I'm fine, but I find the whole thing very difficult. I honestly have no idea why, and if I could change it I would. But it's who I am, I guess :(

 

ETA: My dear best friend puts up with so much from me, and she still calls all the time, and I am so thankful for it. So on behalf of your friend, I thank you for being the initiator too. We communication-challenged folks really appreciate it :grouphug:

Edited December 6, 2011 by melissel

[Mommyfaithe]

I am not a caller, nor a planner of social outings. I really appreciate my friends who continue to be my friends but do the inviting. I am introverted, though you might not be able to tell from the outside. I need to recharge after being with people; being with people doesn't recharge me. Maybe that's the core, and I am very busy with work and homeschooling. I just don't think to plan anything social. When I have free time, I tend to crash. However, I do care about my friends and enjoy seeing them and being with them.

 

I would say if she seems happy to be with you--take it at that.

 

This is a description of me too. I do not call....I have to force myself to call. My job requires me to be on the phone daily...a lot. I do lots of customer service etc......it takes everything out of me. EVERYTHING. By the end of the day, I don't want to talk at all to anyone.

 

I am so grateful to my friends who stick by me even when I can't pick up the phone.

 

Faithe

[Laurie4b]

As far as the, "I like to get together with people, but I just don't initiate," I'm done with that. I've been the initiator for years. People have told me how much they appreciated it. But you know, initiating isn't always easy. It takes thought and effort. If my friends aren't willing to put that effort forth, I've decided to put my efforts into relationships where there is some reciprocation. It doesn't have to be 50/50, but I've grown tired of relationships where I'm doing virtually all the inviting.

 

I had friends that, too, seemed to make the effort to meet and told me that they enjoyed the invitations. However, I came to the conclusion that they did not value the friendship enough as there was little to no effort on their part. I don't want a friendship of takers anymore. If someone is too introverted or too afraid of phone calls or whatever that is fine. I found that I have more in common with people that aren't exhausted by my company, aren't afraid to make a phone call, and aren't intimidated by calling me.

 

To me, real friendship is a two-way street.

 

 

I may not initiate, but I am there when people need me, big time, sacrifically. No one would describe me as a taker. I just am not good at initiating "socializing." But to each his own.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I may not initiate, but I am there when people need me, big time, sacrifically. No one would describe me as a taker. I just am not good at initiating "socializing." But to each his own.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Ellesmere]

If the person is otherwise friendly, caring about you, generous, and kind -- I wouldn't see this as an issue. I'll even say, "I have to call so-and-so" while trying to think of ways to avoid the phone call. I'm an introvert that cares deeply. Friends that understand phone-aversion appreciate the other ways I show friendship (notes, emails, texts, listening whenever they need to talk, having them over when they say they are free, going out when they invite me, etc.) and are usually understanding. Sometimes it feels like I'm out of touch, and I'd probably have more friends if I initiated calls, but my good friends know that I care.

 

It is not a one-way street at all.

 

I always try to find some other way to communicate. I'm not hard of hearing and I have good reception, but for some reason it's hard for me to understand people on the phone. Either I have to constantly say, "What was that?" or I get lost in the conversation. I even dread answering the phone, though not as much as making calls.

 

The one person I answered for every time was someone who would call and go on for about an hour to pour out her heart. She just needed someone to listen. She wasn't interested in hearing about my day and, on the phone, required nothing more than an occasional, "poor dear" and I could handle that kind of phone conversation. When her troubled years were over, she stopped calling. Certain friends fit certain needs, I guess, and I was there when she just needed someone to vent to instead of crying alone. (We did have other aspects to our friendship besides those calls. We emailed -- that's when she would care about my day -- and would meet for coffee and just chat for fun, too.)

 

 

I hate calling people. I appreciate anyone who doesn't give up on me. I think if all else is fine in your relationship it's not worth worrying about. If she truly didn't like you she would not go out with you. And when you called, she wouldn't answer the phone.

:iagree:

 

 

OP, and others with friends like this: if she never answered or didn't agree to getting together -- and/or she was never interested in your life when you do talk, I'd be concerned. I'm realizing one of my friends just isn't interested -- but only because she never responds to texts, FB, or email, and I know she uses them with others. It's not because she doesn't call.

 

But if it's just a matter of not initiating, I'd try to be as patient with that as you want people to be with any of your own quirks, if you have any. :)

[Jennifer in MI]

I don't like to make calls, but only because the kids recognize my weakness and ask for things the second I get on. So, I save up a bunch of phone calls and do them together when dh is home.

 

But, I am the type of friend you are, OP. I call friends and set things up. Rarely am I on the receiving end. Now, it makes more sense. People seem to like us, so I never took it personally. Maybe others are like a lot of you here and just don't like to use the phone.

 

I have a new group of friends (I just love them!) from my neighborhood and these ladies are ALWAYS making plans and including me. I feel so loved!!!

[Sandsam]

I don't call people because I am always so darn busy. I am guilty of the 'tomorrow will be better' syndrome. I have the best of intentions; I just just never get around to actually making a call to plan anything. I love when people invite me, however, and make a huge effort to attend when invited.

[nd293]

See phone poll! I hate phoning people. I usually text to make arrangements or just say "Hi". Or I might even email.