Another family using Pearl techniques...

[Laurie4b]

this is not true. You will be charged with child abandonment. Or is it different in TX?

 

Each state has its own laws.

[littleWMN]

I totally agree with that last post of Pamela's. What happens is that adoptive parents end up being judged when they are dealing with attachment issues. Because of this (not saying it's right), they often don't seek out help for fear of being judged. A child with attachment issues will not bend to discipline like most biological children will. EDUCATION before adoption is essential! I'd lobe it if *everyone* was well versed in this issues so people could come alongside of adoptive parents and encourage them to keep loving when it's hard, to keep hugging when they are rejected, to keep giving the child positive reinforcement so that eventually the can bond and trust, etc. Instead, they usually receive judgement, and in turn this can make some parents MORE bitter, more resentful, and begin to simply dislike their children for "disrupting" their family as they knew it. It happens all the time. Not justifying it, just explaining some of the dynamics. Come along side an adoptive or foster parent if you know one. It's likely they are dealing with difficult things they aren't sharing with other people. As a community, we can help these children. I font think anyone (or certainly not most people) go into adoption trying to harm children. But take uneducated, rigid parents in with some children that were coming out of difficult situations as older children - it CAN turn out tragic. Something must be done. I believe it starts with education - before adoption, after adoption, for the community, therapists, social workers, etc.

[unsinkable]

ETA: I completely understand that we have no real evidence this child had an attachment disorder. However, she was in a very high risk category for one. Additionally, generally adoptive parents *want* to love and enjoy their children. It is not likely she went into things hating her. It is more likely that the child had some challenging behaviors which made it difficult to love her. Unfortunately, instead of doing like Denise, spending hours upon hours trying to figure out how to reach her, they gave into some awful teachings, desperate for something to work. Thing is that where typical children may respond, it is less likely an adoptive child with attachment disorder would even TRY to respond positively. I do think it is likely the child had some challenging behaviors at very least.

 

The affidavit stated that the woman was disappointed (maybe from the time the girl arrived) because she wanted a little girl and she got a half grown woman.

 

I'd say it is likely that this woman had questionable parenting skills to begin with b/c she gave her bio children cold baths for not toilet training quickly enough and punished them too by withholding food.

[unsinkable]

we don't know there was a pattern of pretending with these children - only that these monsters claim it. .

 

I wholeheartedly agree. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[aggieamy]

The Pearls are filth. Plain and simple.

 

And I may get flamed for saying it, but those who defend or minimize the actions of the Pearls are not much better.

 

:iagree:. The people who murdered this poor little girl are monsters. The Pearls are monsters. And if I get banned then so be it - anyone who can read a book that recommends beating a baby with a switch and think that it has wisdom in it are absolute idiots, at best.

 

IT IS NEVER OKAY TO SWITCH A BABY!

[laundrycrisis]

How many deadly car crashes have to happen at an intersection before a light is put up?

 

How many kids ahve to die before the Pearls get put in jail?

 

:iagree: but without the smile. IMO jail is too good for them.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

AWFUL.....

[RanchGirl]

The Pearls are filth. Plain and simple.

 

And I may get flamed for saying it, but those who defend or minimize the actions of the Pearls are not much better.

:iagree: The Williams should spend life in jail for their atrocious actions. The Pearls should be vilified vehemently and repeatedly by Christians everywhere until no one is foolish enough to believe that this method is God approved or anything other than evil child abuse.

[RanchGirl]

:iagree:. The people who murdered this poor little girl are monsters. The Pearls are monsters. And if I get banned then so be it - anyone who can read a book that recommends beating a baby with a switch and think that it has wisdom in it are absolute idiots, at best.

 

IT IS NEVER OKAY TO SWITCH A BABY!

 

So so so true. I just can't imagine how anyone can condone beating an infant??

[scrapbookbuzz]

:iagree:. The people who murdered this poor little girl are monsters. The Pearls are monsters. And if I get banned then so be it - anyone who can read a book that recommends beating a baby with a switch and think that it has wisdom in it are absolute idiots, at best.

 

IT IS NEVER OKAY TO SWITCH A BABY!

 

 

I was pretty appalled, too, when I read that the book recommends using a switch on a child as young as one year old! That.is.just.wrong.

[twoxcell]

I was pretty appalled, too, when I read that the book recommends using a switch on a child as young as one year old! That.is.just.wrong.

It is worse than that I read the first two chapters last night after somone posted a link. In the first chapter there was a story about him switching his 4 month old for trying to climb the stairs.:001_huh: What disturbed me most about it was how he told so many detailed stories about disciplining his own children and of other people apparantly disciplining in front of him. It felt as if he was obsessed with watching children be disciplined.:confused:

[chrissymama]

It is so hard to accept that there are people like this in the world.

[Mergath]

I was just finally able to get to a real computer and download the PDF, and I am just sickened. It says that when she collapsed and they dragged her inside, Carri checked for a heartbeat with a stethoscope, then had the kids do it, then called her husband. WTF? What, did she think it would be a neat homeschooling experiment to have them all take a turn? Maybe if the nutjob had called 911 right away, instead of letting all the kids practice on the girl first and then having a nice chat with her husband, the poor thing would still be alive.

 

Sorry, but as I'm reading this, I've gone from saddened to outright enraged.

 

ETA: Oh, and apparently after she passed out, they took the time to cover her in a dirty sheet (modesty, you know) and to put gloves on before they touched her. AAAGGGHHH. I need to stop reading this. I just want to find these lunatics and make them pay dearly.

Edited October 2, 2011 by Mergath

[Remudamom]

Gah, they make me sick. They're so smug about how they would discipline this or that child or situation.

 

I was pretty horrified to find out that when one of our nannies married and had her own babies she followed the Pearls.

[EJCMom]

It seems unfair that our justice system won't allow these monsters to get the punishment they deserve.

[Cricket]

It is worse than that I read the first two chapters last night after somone posted a link. In the first chapter there was a story about him switching his 4 month old for trying to climb the stairs.:001_huh: What disturbed me most about it was how he told so many detailed stories about disciplining his own children and of other people apparantly disciplining in front of him. It felt as if he was obsessed with watching children be disciplined.:confused:

 

What is bizarre is that I read this book about 10 years ago or so when my oldest was very young. I remember getting a couple of good thoughts out of it. I honestly didn't remember the book being as bad as people on here said. I just finished reading some of the book at the link. Wow. How could I not remember some of that! It was disturbing how Pearl talked about the Amish guy smacking his 12 month old every few minutes for 45 minutes straight because the child tried to get off his father's lap. After the second time smack, I would have stood up and ended the conversation. Pearl was apparently fascinated enough to count the smacks and watch until it ended.

 

One problem of the Pearls' advice is that they practically guarantee that their methods will produce happy, obedient children.

 

Quote: If you are consistent, this test of authority will come only one, two, or, at the most, three times in each child's life. If you endure, conquering the child's will, then in the long run the child wins. If you weaken and let it pass to the victory of the child's will, then by winning it is a character loss for the child. You must persevere for the both of you.

 

I don't think I've ever seen a child in my life who only tested the authority of his parents once, twice or three times. And I've known some extremely obedient children! This kind of thinking sets parents up for thinking they have somehow screwed up completely if their child doesn't instantly obey in everything. Pair that with an already domineering and stubborn personality of a parent and it is a recipe for disaster.

[littleWMN]

I was just finally able to get to a real computer and download the PDF, and I am just sickened. It says that when she collapsed and they dragged her inside, Carri checked for a heartbeat with a stethoscope, then had the kids do it, then called her husband. WTF? What, did she think it would be a neat homeschooling experiment to have them all take a turn? Maybe if the nutjob had called 911 right away, instead of letting all the kids practice on the girl first and then having a nice chat with her husband, the poor thing would still be alive.

 

Sorry, but as I'm reading this, I've gone from saddened to outright enraged.

 

ETA: Oh, and apparently after she passed out, they took the time to cover her in a dirty sheet (modesty, you know) and to put gloves on before they touched her. AAAGGGHHH. I need to stop reading this. I just want to find these lunatics and make them pay dearly.

 

I know, it's downright sick. :(

[Sparkle]

I almost had a heart attack when I read this story because I have a homeschooling friend with the exact same name who has adopted black children, and for a second I thought it was her - thank God it's not, and I know she is the sweetest person and could never do such a thing, but the coincidences freaked me out. Still a horrific story. I loathe the Pearls and wish every copy of their books was at the bottom of the sea.

[obsidian]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (bolding mine).

 

TRAINING NOT TO TOUCH

When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions.

 

Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a "No-no" corner or on an apple juice table (That's where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don't touch it." They will already be familiar with the "No," so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, "No." Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.

Through this process of association the child will involuntarily recall the pain every time he hears the word "No." There comes a time when your word alone is sufficient to gain obedience.

One particularly painful experience of nursing mothers is the biting baby. My wife did not waste time finding a cure. When the baby bit, she pulled hair (an alternative has to be sought for baldheaded babies).

One father tells of his training sessions with each new toddler. He sets aside an evening for "booty" camp, which is a boot camp for toddlers. The child of ten to twelve months is left alone to become deeply interested in a toy or some delightful object. From across the room or just inside the other room, the father calls the child. If he ignores the call, the father goes to him and explains the necessity of immediately coming when called, and then leads him to the father's chair. The child thus led through these paces is being programmed.

 

He is returned to the toy and left alone long enough to again become engrossed. Another call, and, if no response, the father gives a patient explanation and demonstration of the desired response. The parent, having assured himself of the child's understanding, once again sets up the situation and calls the child. This time, if there is not an immediate response the child is lightly spanked and lectured. The father continues this throughout the evening until the child readily and immediately responds to a summons. Thereafter, until the child leaves home, he is expected to drop everything and come upon the first call. As long as the parents remain consistent, the child will consistently obey. This "obedience training" is carried out in the utmost patience and concentration. The spanking should not be viewed as punishment, but as reinforcement to commands.

A newborn soon needs training.

As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive). Crying because of genuine physical need is simply the infant's only voice to the outside world; but crying in order to manipulate the adults into constant servitude should never be rewarded.

One of our girls who developed mobility early had a fascination with crawling up the stairs. At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree.

Clearly, the lines were drawn. The battle was in array. Someone was going to submit his will and learn his lesson. Either the father would confirm that this one-year-old could rule his parents or the parents would confirm their authority. Everyone's happiness was at stake, as well as the soul of the child.

Keep the standards high--as high as the person of Christ. Let the guilt come, and then, while they are yet too young to understand, absolve it by means of the rod

A child can be turned back from the road to hell through proper spankings

If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise.

Otherwise, tell him to bend over on the bed or couch; and while he is in this position give some choice admonition. You have his undivided attention. Slowly begin to spank. If you go too fast, you may not allow time enough for the inner transformation to occur.

If he continues to show defiance by jerking around and defending himself, or by expressing anger, then she will wait a moment and again lecture him and again spank him. When it is obvious he is totally broken

Edited October 2, 2011 by STEM

[Jennifer3141]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (holding mine).

 

You should have a PUKE warning before this. Ack!

[aggieamy]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (holding mine).

 

To say that TTUAC isn't all bad is like saying that there's some real tidbits of wisdom in Mein Kampf if you can just overlook the evil stuff. Uh. It doesn't work that way. A little bit of evil in a book is too much to make it good at all.

 

This thread just breaks my heart. I can't stop thinking about it. I almost dare someone to try a read a copy of TTUAC around me.

[AprilTN]

I want to know how on earth they were able to adopt children if they were using these methods with their other children. Wouldn't the home study evaluator have uncovered some of their techniques? And don't they follow up after adoption?

[obsidian]

To say that TTUAC isn't all bad is like saying that there's some real tidbits of wisdom in Mein Kampf if you can just overlook the evil stuff. Uh. It doesn't work that way. A little bit of evil in a book is too much to make it good at all.

 

This thread just breaks my heart. I can't stop thinking about it. I almost dare someone to try a read a copy of TTUAC around me.

 

I completely agree. Thinking about the poor children whose parents use these methods makes me sick.:sad:

[Denisemomof4]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (bolding mine).

 

this is DISTURBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL of it is disturbing, but to SIT ON A CHILD?????

[obsidian]

this is DISTURBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL of it is disturbing, but to SIT ON A CHILD?????

 

The entire book is disturbing and heartbreaking. Those are just a few examples.

 

He also recommends using a large branch or belt on an older child (older being defined as 2+ or so).

[Denisemomof4]

 

This thread just breaks my heart. I can't stop thinking about it.

 

me too. I'm so thankful my RAD kid is MY RAD KID, safe at home, happy, healthy, living her life. I've been appreciative of her in a new light all day long.

[Denisemomof4]

I want to know how on earth they were able to adopt children if they were using these methods with their other children. Wouldn't the home study evaluator have uncovered some of their techniques? And don't they follow up after adoption?

 

this is what I don't understand. My boys were interviewed separately and behind closed doors by a social worker. Discipline was discussed at length. I don't understand how abuse couldn't have been uncovered in this situation.

 

We had no post placement follow-ups that I can recall.

[Perogi]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (bolding mine).

 

Thank you for taking the time to post this and expose what is truly taught by the Pearls in their own words. It is clear to see how parents following these methods can go to extremes such as in this case. It's impossible to say that the Pearls don't bear some responsibility for the damage their teachings are causing.

[obsidian]

The entire book is disturbing and heartbreaking. Those are just a few examples.

 

He also recommends using a large branch or belt on an older child (older being defined as 2+ or so).

 

Here's the quote:

For the under one year old, a little, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective.

[Aubrey]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (bolding mine).

 

1. LEADING a child into temptation seems to me the opposite of what we are shown of God in the Bible. Off-hand, I'm thinking the Lord's prayer, but there's also the verse that tells fathers not to frustrate their children. :svengo:

 

2. These passages are disturbing to me on a totally different level than you guys. One of my good friends from college married about 6 mos before me, had kids at the same times, etc. When we were nursing our #2's, she suggested the pulling the hair thing. In isolation, that seemed...ok-ish?

 

But I remember the way she & her dh were parenting. Dh & I were disturbed by it, but had no idea it was coming from somewhere, kwim? Eventually dh & I decided to stop letting our kids play together because a) their parenting philosophies were so disturbing & b) the result was that their kids were turning into parent-sanctioned bullies. Odd result, huh? They had super-spiritual reasons for their children's bad behavior, though.

 

And really, although dh & I pulled back, it was never a *really* mutual friendship because they were kind-of stand-off-ish, in a way that my friend wasn't before kids. Reading this thread & looking back, I'll bet the couple they WERE friends w/ (who also had the weird parenting issues) was following the Perls, too. I'll bet they were on the look-out for my kids to badly influence theirs because we WEREN'T following the Perls.

 

Although...it never came up. I wonder how they could tell?

 

Another disturbing, unrelated event--people have always commented on how good our kids are. One summer, one of dh's cousins was at a family gathering, commented on the kids, & added, "You must be following TTUAC!" I'd never heard of the book, but for some reason, I remembered the title when I read my first Perl thread here. It's *awful* to me to think that people have GOOD feelings about this book. I'm guessing cousin--unmarried, no kids--*surely* hadn't read the book & had just heard OF it...but still. *shudder*

[bairnmama]

 

2. These passages are disturbing to me on a totally different level than you guys. One of my good friends from college married about 6 mos before me, had kids at the same times, etc. When we were nursing our #2's, she suggested the pulling the hair thing. In isolation, that seemed...ok-ish?

 

 

 

 

I had several people advocate this to me when my dc were of nursing age- older women in my family, mothers of my friends, etc. Tugging just a little bit to get their attention, but not enough to hurt was the idea. The other suggestion was to lightly pinch the skin on their legs as soon as they bit. It would make the baby let go, but not hurt enough to stop eating or cry. I did pick up a copy of TTUAC at a church revival when my oldest was about 2... I had never heard anything about it and was reading all I could on child training from lots of different sources. I do know that none of the people who had told me about pulling the child's hair had ever read the book, and seeing their advice printed in the book made it seem even more reliable, kwim? I also have to admit that when I first heard (a couple years ago) on this board of the heinous things done to children by people following this teaching, I was shocked. I didn't remember it being so bad and thinking that I had learned some good things from it, but also remembering a lot of it being over the top. Rereading with fresh eyes was very startling. I still have the book because I'm not really sure what to do with it.

 

I do believe you need to train your children to do right and not just punish when they disobey/do wrong, but definitely not in the manner prescribed in TTUAC.

[kalanamak]

It is clear to see how parents following these methods can go to extremes such as in this case.

 

Reading this made me think of the Stanford Prison Experiment

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_study

[gardenmom5]

It seems unfair that our justice system won't allow these monsters to get the punishment they deserve.

 

I don't know. imprisoned in a jail full of child-abuser haters . . . . . (most inmates have zero tolerance for child abusers)

[Carpe]

I still have the book because I'm not really sure what to do with it.

 

Burn it. Books offer a surprising amount of heat. Last year it was apparently all the rage in the UK.

[gardenmom5]

this is what I don't understand. My boys were interviewed separately and behind closed doors by a social worker. Discipline was discussed at length. I don't understand how abuse couldn't have been uncovered in this situation.

.

 

from what has emerged in interviews post-murder, the kids were trained in what to say to outsiders. they were trained to "protect" their parents from outsiders who would put a stop to it. the parents hid much of their "methods", implying they KNEW they were over the line.

[aggieamy]

I still have the book because I'm not really sure what to do with it.

 

 

Toilet tissue. Just seems fitting to me.

[Denisemomof4]

from what has emerged in interviews post-murder, the kids were trained in what to say to outsiders. they were trained to "protect" their parents from outsiders who would put a stop to it. the parents hid much of their "methods", implying they KNEW they were over the line.

 

there were six kids old enough for the pre-adoption interview. I'm surprised nothing was uncovered by kids being disciplined in such a drastic, abusive way.

[Denisemomof4]

Toilet tissue. Just seems fitting to me.

 

kindling.

[Impish]

Toilet tissue. Just seems fitting to me.

Why oh why did my brain jump to potential paper cut issues? :svengo:

[LittleIzumi]

The thought of children growing up being treated like that just makes my soul weep.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

You should have a PUKE warning before this. Ack!

 

Anything about TTUaC seems to need a puking smiley. :crying:

 

Reading this made me think of the Stanford Prison Experiment

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_study

 

Or the Milgram Experiment.

 

 

 

Oddly enough, this thread has reminded me of my eventual plan to foster-adopt when we're done having our own children, and I didn't realize how much I needed to use this extra time to research attachment disorders and prepare!! Thanks for the wake-up call there.

[pdalley]

I still have the book because I'm not really sure what to do with it.

 

'

It would make good bird cage liner. Or puppy accident pads.

[TammyB]

I wish I hadn't read the affidavit. Evil. Just evil. I think the punishment should fit the crime - feed them table scraps and make them sleep out in the cold on a concrete slab.

 

That whipping instrument is straight out of the pages of the Pearls.

 

I wish you were the judge. Seriously.

[littleWMN]

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

 

 

Anything about TTUaC seems to need a puking smiley. :crying:

 

 

 

Or the Milgram Experiment.

 

 

 

Oddly enough, this thread has reminded me of my eventual plan to foster-adopt when we're done having our own children, and I didn't realize how much I needed to use this extra time to research attachment disorders and prepare!! Thanks for the wake-up call there.

 

 

:thumbup1: Good for you!!

[Diana B]

OK. I have read enough of the responses to this.

 

I'm sick. Truly sick. I have TTUAC on my SHELF. :ack2: I haven't read it. I'm not even sure where I got it from. But it's going in the garbage. Now.

 

Discipline DOES NOT EQUAL punishment. Discipline is TEACHING. There are a number of ways to discipline your child, and every child is going to respond differently to the various forms. But it should NEVER EVER equal abuse.

 

Locking your child outside in the cold & rain is not going to teach them anything but to hate you. Making them walk about in the rain for a bit when you run an errand will teach them to remember their coat (assuming a certain age/maturity level here....). There is a difference.

 

Ugh. OK. Off to toss this book in the garbage!

[Heather in Neverland]

To say that TTUAC isn't all bad is like saying that there's some real tidbits of wisdom in Mein Kampf if you can just overlook the evil stuff. Uh. It doesn't work that way. A little bit of evil in a book is too much to make it good at all.

 

This thread just breaks my heart. I can't stop thinking about it. I almost dare someone to try a read a copy of TTUAC around me.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

How about if I give someone a glass full of raw sewage to drink but add a few drops of purified water? Would they drink it? I mean, come on, I realize the majority of it is filth but there is SOME good water in there, right? How about if you drink the glass down but just spit out all the filth and keep only the "good parts"?

 

Sound reasonable? :glare: I swear if I see one of those books I will set it on fire.

[FO4UR]

For those of you who believe the Pearls are not that bad, here are some quotes from To Train Up a Child (bolding mine).

 

 

 

God save the poor children "trained" in such a manner!:crying:

[FaithManor]

The thing that horrified me most -

 

Okay, it all horrified me the most. But I was particularly struck by the way the older children seemed to have bought into the parents' sick rationalizations, explaining to the detectives that the poor abused girl was "just pretending to be cold" when she was outside for hours in 40-degree weather with no coat. Or that the deaf boy was "pretending not to know how to sign."

 

Also that when she was out there on the last day of her life, the mother sent one of the children out to take her socks and shoes away from her. And he did. Because she was "rebellious" and he knew that she deserved punishment.

 

I am sure that the Pearl defenders on this forum will jump in any minute and assure us that the Pearls don't actually say that you should starve your children and let them die of hypothermia, in so many words, and that therefore this is just another strange coincidence in which followers of a perfectly innocent parenting regimen just happened to go off the rails due to their personal evil natures. And I don't want to hear it.

 

The Pearls say that you need to use harsh physical punishment to utterly break a child into perfect submission, and that you should - that you must - keep up the harsh physical punishments until the child gets to that point.

 

Some kids will die before they get to that point.

 

:iagree: Absolutely, positively true! There.is.no.defense. In addition, if I were a 13 year old living with depraved, evil people like these parents, it might just occur to me that death wasn't such a bad thing. It's not just the incomprehensible physical abuse, but the mental oppression as well and I would imagine that some children would become suicidal/lose the will to live, under these circumstances.

 

If ever there were books in need of burning (and I've never been that kind of person before) it's the Pearls' Books. Prison for them would not break my heart. After all, they used these abusive methods on their own children and willingly admit it. Prison is probably too good for the parents of this poor child; however, I hope that they are locked up and left there forever.

 

The horror. It's.just.so.evil!!!!

 

Faith

[Heather in Neverland]

 

If ever there were books in need of burning (and I've never been that kind of person before) it's the Pearls' Books. Prison for them would not break my heart. After all, they used these abusive methods on their own children and willingly admit it. Prison is probably too good for the parents of this poor child; however, I hope that they are locked up and left there forever.

 

The horror. It's.just.so.evil!!!!

 

Faith

 

I'll bring the gasoline if you bring the matches. :D

[Murmer]

My guess for why they didn't find out about the abuse before adoption was that the bio children didn't need the extreme punishment...they had it from a young age and were already trained...they were not "evil". Therefore when asked they may have said they were spanked occasionally but that would be acceptable for many adoptive agencies. It was the combination of adoption related issues, age, and Pearl techniques that lead to the death. Basically the parents felt they had to keep going when what worked for their bio children did not work for the adopted children so as Pearl advocates, they kept going until the poor child died. So so so sad.

[Jayne J]

I think I'm going to love my kids a little harder today, and overlook some minor offenses. :crying: