WWYD, co-op teacher used the "F" word to my daugther

[swimmermom3]

Interesting....the "this was totally inappropriate" folks seem, on the whole, to have younger kids. Totally understandable.

 

However, if one happens to spend time with older teens and young adults in a social setting (outside of church and away from parents) one would not question the teacher's assumption that "What the ...." implied the F. It really is commonly accepted in the vernacular these days.

 

I just don't understand why people would want to shelter their children from this implied meaning. Teach the kids so they don't make themselves and their families look bad by saying something that has a different meaning outside their home. The F word has been around a long, long time. It's not going away.

 

My older teens said they would have translated it to mean either the "f" or "h" word, but that it is used so frequently, it also commonly means, "I am so confused."

 

It does not really matter how you use it in your house. What matters is how it is perceived in the world at large. Since I am a mother of older teens, I would assume that you used the phrase at home and knew what it meant. As the teacher is a friend, I would say something on the side and most definitely not "report" her to the powers that be. I would agree that she has probably saved you some embarrassment down the road. Telling your child to "Go ask your mother," would obviously have been pointless.

 

I would tell my child that as a mom, I learned something new today too and that from now on, we will be eliminating that phrase from our conversations. Then I would move on.

[Joy at Home]

This is so funny:D

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

OP, I would have been just as upset as you about someone saying that word to my child. However, she was trying to help. The bigger point is that your dd has learned that many, many, many people will view "What the..." as WTF.

 

And now my story, which may or may not make you feel better, but taught me the same lesson your daughter received (except I was 36 at the time :tongue_smilie:).

 

When I'm extremely exasperated, I shout out "Mother of Pearl!" Well, one day while checking out books at the library's circulation desk, my youngest DS (2 at the time) wandered over to a flimsy easel on which some architectural plans for a new city building had been placed. He reached out to touch it and I told him no. He kept going after it and I started to walk toward him just as the plans (on foam board, as it turns out) fell over on his head and the easel toppled backwards. I yelled out, "MOTHER..." and then stopped because I realized I was yelling (a) at my child and (b) in a library, for Pete's sake!

 

What I didn't realize until about 3 seconds too late is that finishing that exclamation would have saved me a good amount of embarrassment. When I realized what all the old library ladies and my fellow patrons thought I was about to shout at my DS, I was mortified. I started looking around like a crazed lady, repeating, "Mother OF PEARL! ...of PEARL, PEARL! I say Mother of Pearl!" I got my books and walked out with my head hanging in shame. :lol:

 

So again, my opinion is that your dd learned a valuable lesson early on. I would let it go. As an aside, I will mention that I've tried to get my kids to break the "what the..." habit also and have realized that it is ubiquitous. Kids' movies, TV, friends say it... Sadly, it might be futile.

[unsinkable]

Sometimes homeschooling parents forget this too (as evidenced by the many "I'd jerk my kid outta that group" type of replies). :)

 

I spent some time in a school where teachers embarrassing kids was pretty much the norm. I thought *I* had a low level of tolerance for this sort of thing. I guess not. Or maybe this just seems tame in comparison to some of the stuff I've heard.

 

If your child is going to participate in team sports, outside classes or co-op, they are going to encounter people who handle things differently than their parents would. This teacher was over the top in her explanation. Maybe she is used to working with much older kids?

 

However, someone correcting my kid, even a little harshly does not bother me enough to pull my child out of a class they were otherwise enjoying. There would have to be more to it than that. There would have to be an obvious attempt to humiliate my child. The OP did say she pulled her dd aside. It does not sound like she was trying to embarrass her.

 

In our group, parents are encouraged to correct a kid who is breaking any co-op rules. Any kid, in or out of class who is misbehaving is subject to being told by any adult to straighten up and fly right.

 

I've had the utmost respect for you until you posted that word that I bolded.

 

That word really means "j3rk 0ff" and we all know what that means, so...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

[In The Great White North]

"It means, what the f---, so don't use it around me"

 

In our group, parents are encouraged to correct a kid who is breaking any co-op rules. Any kid, in or out of class who is misbehaving is subject to being told by any adult to straighten up and fly right.

 

 

It doesn't really sound like it was breaking a co-op rule - just the teacher's personal preference. A co-op rule that said "No swearing" would not be violated by "What the..." If the co-op did not want anything that could be construed or filled in to resemble swearing, they are going to have to be very explicit in their rules.

 

 

Yeah. She's trying to keep the atmosphere around her own ears holy. She saw this child (whom she does not know) as a speaker of ungodly things and put her in her place, serving up a heaping helping of humiliation and shock factor. I'm not impressed.

 

This.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Yeah. She's trying to keep the atmosphere around her own ears holy. She saw this child (whom she does not know) as a speaker of ungodly things and put her in her place, serving up a heaping helping of humiliation and shock factor. I'm not impressed.

 

I agree the teacher didn't handle it as well as she could have, but I am more likely to think that she feels she was dealt the "heaping helping of humiliation and shock factor." I imagine she went over the top with her correction precisely because the unambiguity (in her own mind) of the phrase was so very offensive to her. For me, that's the point.

[Tangerine]

It seems odd to me that if the teacher were so offended as to say something about it, that she would use the actual offensive word when doing it.

[OnTheBrink]

I'm aghast at the responders who thought the teacher was appropriate. I would never, NEVER, think, "What the ?" would end with the F word. Unfortunately, it leaves the unsaid word to the imagination.

 

While this teacher did not use the F word "at" your dd, she used the F word "to" your dd. This is mere semantics; it does not make it okay in the second situation.

 

I would be furious for so many reasons. It is not up to the teacher to "explain" to your dd what she "said" when dd did not say it. I would absolutely be discussing this with leadership, and if for any reason they found this to be somehow appropriate, that would be my indication that this co-op was terribly wrong for my family.

 

I'm no prude. Perhaps I'm just an older generation. I hear this word all the time, but people who use this word in front of others' children are incredibly selfish, rude and thoughtless, no matter what the context. Don't inflict your profanity on my kids. Say it in front of your own, but leave mine alone.

 

:confused::confused::confused:

 

:iagree:

 

Interesting....the "this was totally inappropriate" folks seem, on the whole, to have younger kids. Totally understandable.

 

However, if one happens to spend time with older teens and young adults in a social setting (outside of church and away from parents) one would not question the teacher's assumption that "What the ...." implied the F. It really is commonly accepted in the vernacular these days.

 

I just don't understand why people would want to shelter their children from this implied meaning. Teach the kids so they don't make themselves and their families look bad by saying something that has a different meaning outside their home. The F word has been around a long, long time. It's not going away.

 

Nope, my dd is 13 and I find that teacher to be out of line. It has zero to do with "sheltering" and everything to do with treating the child with respect.

 

This is absurd. Maybe, and really just maybe, it was appropriate for the teacher to explain that swearing was implied with "what the.." , but there was absolutely no reason for her to actually say the curse word in question.

 

:iagree:

 

I would be angry about someone using that word when talking directly to my child. She could have something along the lines of "Don't say that. Some people might think that is offensive." For what is is worth, around here that phrase might end with crud, crap, fuzz, heck, h*!!, fudge, f***. I have even heard people say what the stink. So, even though many people will automatically think the f-bomb, not everyone will.

 

:iagree:

 

This teacher does not sound as if she wants to show your daughter a kindness in order to avoid further embarrassment. She does not seem to be interested in bettering your daughter or helping her understand not to use language that might be interpreted differently by other people. She sounds annoyed - especially the "so don't use it around me" part. As others have said, she did not need to actually use the word to head your daughter off from future embarrassment. I think her intent may have been to shock your daughter just as she did. I would not call that kindness - I would call it rudeness and self-centeredness. It sounds like she was just irritated because each time your daughter used the phrase, her own less-than-clean mind filled in the blank with the unacceptable word.

 

Granted, your daughter should know how others might "hear" it. It is a good thing for her to know that it could be offensive to other people. It may have ended up being a good thing for your daughter to learn, but I still don't think the teacher needed to actually use the word. Other posters have suggested at least five other ways she could have explained the alternative usage without actually uttering the offensive word.

 

ETA: If I had heard your daughter repeating that phrase I might have gently pulled her aside and said something like, "Sweetie, I know you probably don't know this, but that phrase can mean something very vulgar and I think you should stop using it in public."

 

I really don't think this teacher cared one bit about your daughter - she simply didn't want the phrase used because it kept reminding her of the f word. She reacted selfishly - not in kindness. If it were me, she'd be getting a visit from one very upset mom.

 

AMEN AND AMEN!

[Caterpiller]

Weird. :001_huh: I have taught sunday school before and have corrected kids saying simular things, but I say, "Lets not talk that way in church." (or if I were her I'd say ing co-op) and if the kids ask, "Why i only said...." Then I would have said, "Oh Im sure you didn't mean anything by it but some people say that as a way of saying the f-word. So lets not say it here." If they continued on I'd say something like, "I asked you not to say it and I'm the teacher. If we need to we can write a letter to your mom and let her know you weren't able to listen today."

[Lisa R.]

Sometimes homeschooling parents forget this too (as evidenced by the many "I'd jerk my kid outta that group" type of replies). :)

 

I spent some time in a school where teachers embarrassing kids was pretty much the norm. I thought *I* had a low level of tolerance for this sort of thing. I guess not. Or maybe this just seems tame in comparison to some of the stuff I've heard.

 

If your child is going to participate in team sports, outside classes or co-op, they are going to encounter people who handle things differently than their parents would. This teacher was over the top in her explanation. Maybe she is used to working with much older kids?

 

However, someone correcting my kid, even a little harshly does not bother me enough to pull my child out of a class they were otherwise enjoying. There would have to be more to it than that. There would have to be an obvious attempt to humiliate my child. The OP did say she pulled her dd aside. It does not sound like she was trying to embarrass her.

 

In our group, parents are encouraged to correct a kid who is breaking any co-op rules. Any kid, in or out of class who is misbehaving is subject to being told by any adult to straighten up and fly right.

 

:iagree:

 

Other people handle things differently than I would. My kids need to know that. The teacher handled the situation in the way she thought was best. The OP should support the teacher even though the teacher was over the top on this. Sure dd was embarrassed, but it was a lesson learned.

 

If the OP handles this well (and I think she will) she won't make a big deal out of this. I'd let it drop. Coming here to vent and share is a great idea and has made for lots of interesting discussion!

[TN Mama]

I have to say this phrase drives me nuts. It gets to me every time I hear some young person say it. I don't think I would have spelled it out to her, but I would have told them not to say it that it is short for a curse word.

 

I might mention to your friend that your dd told you what happened, and that you guys didn't know that is what it meant and that she certainly didn't mean it that way. But do it with a smile. I wouldn't get on to her about it.

 

:iagree: and :grouphug:

 

But, I might add, if I were the one pointing this out to someone (esp. a child), I certainly would not have said the actual F word.

[JadeOrchidSong]

Interesting....the "this was totally inappropriate" folks seem, on the whole, to have younger kids. Totally understandable.

 

However, if one happens to spend time with older teens and young adults in a social setting (outside of church and away from parents) one would not question the teacher's assumption that "What the ...." implied the F. It really is commonly accepted in the vernacular these days.

 

I just don't understand why people would want to shelter their children from this implied meaning. Teach the kids so they don't make themselves and their families look bad by saying something that has a different meaning outside their home. The F word has been around a long, long time. It's not going away.

:iagree:

I never thought of this, but it is good to know that a lot of people mean WTF when they use or hear "what the".

My two boys say "what the heck" a lot and I don't know it means "hell". They also say "What the" which never occurs to me that it means WTF to the listeners. They certainly don't know what it means, but I will make sure they know now that I know.

Thanks for pointing this out and I REALLY will talk to my boys not to use "What the" or "what the heck". I will tell them they can say "What in the world" instead if they want to express strong feelings.

 

I appreciate learning about this. Thank you very much!!!

[Cricket]

It seems odd to me that if the teacher were so offended as to say something about it, that she would use the actual offensive word when doing it.

 

Yes :lol:

[classics4us]

This is a joke right? Please tell me this is a joke? :confused: (I mean the verse memorization for the teacher)

 

OP, if your dd was younger I would say the teacher was way out of line, but your dd is 11.

 

If I were in your shoes (and I have been :grouphug:) I would need to own up to my dd that "What the ...?" is in no way a stand in for, "What in the world?" In fact I should have been the one to educate dd on that before she was put in an embarressing situation.

 

Ouch, just because you believe it means wtf doesn't mean we all do. Did you read my post? I said that I realize now what it could mean and that I was going to put a stop to the use. And giving me a hug while you saying this is patronizing.

My mind doesn't fly right to the gutter everytime some one says "what the..."

How could I possibly know how folks are going to interpret what my children or I are going to say?

[gardenmom5]

What would you say to this woman or would you just let it slide?

I would take the teacher aside and tell her "what the . . " can mean MANY things, and in your family it means "what in the world". Also that if she felt your daughter needed correction, she sould have said something to YOU.

 

she has a foul mind if the 'f' word was the first thing to enter hers.

[Trish]

:iagree:

I never thought of this, but it is good to know that a lot of people mean WTF when they use or hear "what the".

My two boys say "what the heck" a lot and I don't know it means "hell". They also say "What the" which never occurs to me that it means WTF to the listeners. They certainly don't know what it means, but I will make sure they know now that I know.

Thanks for pointing this out and I REALLY will talk to my boys not to use "What the" or "what the heck". I will tell them they can say "What in the world" instead if they want to express strong feelings.

 

I appreciate learning about this. Thank you very much!!!

 

I'm sorry, but late teens and 20-somethings translate "in the world" as the F-word in this context.

[Ria]

My mind doesn't fly right to the gutter everytime some one says "what the..."

How could I possibly know how folks are going to interpret what my children or I are going to say?

 

(Gently) It's ok. You had no way of knowing - your kids are still little and you just aren't exposed to this stuff the way some of us are (I have dc who are adults, and I work with a lot of young adults, so I'm more aware of the current vernacular).

[HRAAB]

If my 11 yr olds said "What the...." they mean "what the heck" which is a commonly used phrase in our house. In fact, I'm not sure they have ever heard the f word used. They've never, ever heard it in this house, nor in the homes of our friends, and as of yet they haven't joined in any larger groups where they could hear it. I know they wouldn't even know what it meant if they have heard it. (I probably to need to have a discussion with them....). Personally, I would be very upset with the teacher. I do not think it was necessary to say the word. In any event, my dh would be talking to her. Nobody ever uses that word around his dds, irregardless of context.

 

I wouldn't remove my child from the co-op, but there would be a discussion with the teacher.

[Ria]

Nobody ever uses that word around his dds, irregardless of context.

 

And just how much longer do you realistically expect this to be the case? A few more years and your kids will be teens. They will be exposed to this word, whether you like it or not.

[HRAAB]

And just how much longer do you realistically expect this to be the case? A few more years and your kids will be teens. They will be exposed to this word, whether you like it or not.

 

My oldest are 22 and 20; I am well aware that they are going to hear it. By that time they understand very well how their parents feel about vulgar/obscene language. And, I expect teachers and adults involved with my children to always use appropriate language. There are other ways the teacher in the OP could have approached this situation. It was not necessary to say the word out loud.

[love2read]

We don't know what the teacher was thinking, how the kids were acting or what the lady's hormonal state was that day (not that it should matter). We do know you are friends with this woman and based on past experience, you trusted her with your child. She may have acted on impulse. She may have asked your daughter to stop and your daughter didn't hear her or she may have thought your daughter was ignoring her and so she over-reacted. I would give this friend the benefit of the doubt and the next time I saw her I would just say "Sorry about xxxx saying 'What the...'" she didn't realize what the last word was. Watch your friends reaction, you'll know why she did what she did and by her reaction you'll know if you need to talk more about the incident or let it go.

[Renee in NC]

:iagree:

 

Other people handle things differently than I would. My kids need to know that. The teacher handled the situation in the way she thought was best. The OP should support the teacher even though the teacher was over the top on this. Sure dd was embarrassed, but it was a lesson learned.

 

If the OP handles this well (and I think she will) she won't make a big deal out of this. I'd let it drop. Coming here to vent and share is a great idea and has made for lots of interesting discussion!

 

:iagree: I would have handled it differently, but in the grand scheme of things it isn't a big deal. My 18yo has slipped and used the F word at times and I tell him not to speak that way around me.

 

Just an aside...I asked my 13yo what went after "What the..." and he said the "f word." I explained the scenario after he said that (because he asked) and he said, "An 11yo should know that."

 

No one is harmed and she learned a lesson. People say things you don't like and you can't make a capital case out of everything.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

This is all so silly. "What the?" is pretty darn innocent. It's been around long before the advent of the internet and text-speak.

 

If someone can't help hearing "F---" when someone says "What the?", that is their problem. I don't want to live in a world where a kid can't say "What the?" :lol:

 

Want to hear something really shocking? The other day my DS said "What the dickens?" :001_huh:

 

(btw, my DS knows all the words, he would not have been shocked to hear the F-word from the teacher but would probably wonder why she would be so limited in her thinking)

ETA: I would have just instructed him not to say "What the?" around her as she is obviously very uptight about hearing it (even if she's less uptight about saying it)!

[YLVD]

As awkward as it may be, I think the co-op teacher may have saved your child from some future embarrassment; in short, I think she did your dd a favor. "What the..." really does mean WTF. Your child needed to know.

 

Be thankful your dd didn't say it in church or somewhere else.:001_smile:

 

 

:iagree:

[SugarCookie5644]

I would tell her in no uncertain terms that I did not want her to use that kind of language with my kid ever again. The phrase could also end with "heck."

 

 

I'd also let the people in charge of the co-op know what happened.

 

 

That is the one word that drives me over the edge.

Yep, my kids say "what the" all the time, its short for what the heck in our house.

This is all so silly. "What the?" is pretty darn innocent. It's been around long before the advent of the internet and text-speak.

 

If someone can't help hearing "F---" when someone says "What the?", that is their problem. I don't want to live in a world where a kid can't say "What the?" :lol:

 

Want to hear something really shocking? The other day my DS said "What the dickens?" :001_huh:

 

(btw, my DS knows all the words, he would not have been shocked to hear the F-word from the teacher but would probably wonder why she would be so limited in her thinking)

ETA: I would have just instructed him not to say "What the?" around her as she is obviously very uptight about hearing it (even if she's less uptight about saying it)!

Exactly!

[ChocolateReignRemix]

:iagree: I would have handled it differently, but in the grand scheme of things it isn't a big deal. My 18yo has slipped and used the F word at times and I tell him not to speak that way around me.

 

Just an aside...I asked my 13yo what went after "What the..." and he said the "f word." I explained the scenario after he said that (because he asked) and he said, "An 11yo should know that."

 

No one is harmed and she learned a lesson. People say things you don't like and you can't make a capital case out of everything.

 

My issue here is less with the teacher using the word, and more that she decided to impose her own rules on a child playing outside with the group. Unless this co-op bans that phrase, it was really none of her business.

[Alte Veste Academy]

My issue here is less with the teacher using the word, and more that she decided to impose her own rules on a child playing outside with the group. Unless this co-op bans that phrase, it was really none of her business.

 

Really? If the child had said the actual F word, would you feel the same? If my kid was using foul language, I would expect the teacher to correct him/her regardless of whether the word was said in class or at play.

 

Lack of supervision and accountability in public school settings, including the playground, is one reason my kids aren't in school. I would expect better from a homeschool co-op. Obviously some people see "what the..." as a problem and some don't, but I would hope those I have entrusted with the physical and educational care of my children would also concern themselves with my kids' attitudes and propriety.

[mama2cntrykids]

I know that I'm late to the party, but in *our* house, it means heck. What the heck is that?!!

[stripe]

The teacher tells her "It means, what the f---, so don't use it around me"

So...your daughter said "what the?"

 

But the teacher, because saying the word "the" offended her (as opposed to saying "What?"), said the oh-so-offensive word.

 

I don't get that.

 

But I didn't know the word "the" was a swear word.

[AngelBee]

We had our first day of co-op yesterday and during break a mom takes the kids outside for some leg stretching. During the course of their play my dd (11) uses the phrase "What the?" in our household it is short "what in the world?" I see now after yesterdays incident that it could be misconstrued for something vulgar. I will be stopping my children from saying it. Anyhow, the teacher who is also my friend took dd aside and asked her if she knew what that meant. Dd does not like confrontation and immediately felt threatened by this woman so she clammed up. The teacher tells her "It means, what the f---, so don't use it around me" My dd of course was embarrassed and horrified that an adult used that kind of language around her. She had no idea that it could mean that.

What would you say to this woman or would you just let it slide?

Not a good start for our first day of co-op.

 

I honestly would say nothing. Or clarify that your dd meant "What in the world".

 

She was explaining her discomfort with that language, not using it or endorsing it.

 

For me, I have no issue with how it was handled.

 

:grouphug: For your dd. It sounds like she was uncomfortable. I do believe it was simply a misunderstanding.

[AngelBee]

Answered without realizing we we on page 18. :001_huh:

[AngelBee]

Really? If the child had said the actual F word, would you feel the same? If my kid was using foul language, I would expect the teacher to correct him/her regardless of whether the word was said in class or at play.

 

Lack of supervision and accountability in public school settings, including the playground, is one reason my kids aren't in school. I would expect better from a homeschool co-op. Obviously some people see "what the..." as a problem and some don't, but I would hope those I have entrusted with the physical and educational care of my children would also concern themselves with my kids' attitudes and propriety.

 

:iagree:

[Sun]

Goodness, 10 pages on this? Really?

 

What would I do if a co-op teacher said that to my child? I'd talk with the child about how our language can inadvertently offend other people and leave it at that. I don't see the big deal. No, not all people who say, "What the!" are thinking of the F word. However, it IS a common ending for the phrase (as is H***), and I don't think it's all that surprising that someone would be offended by it. Did she need to say the word itself? Perhaps not, but sometimes explaining exactly why something is offensive gets the point across much more clearly. This seems like a big kerfluffle over not much.

[funschooler5]

I'm aghast at the responders who thought the teacher was appropriate. I would never, NEVER, think, "What the ?" would end with the F word. Unfortunately, it leaves the unsaid word to the imagination.

 

While this teacher did not use the F word "at" your dd, she used the F word "to" your dd. This is mere semantics; it does not make it okay in the second

 

I have to say, I totally agree. Completely inappropriate for the teacher to say that, even if she thought she was "doing the kid favor." If she had problem with the phrase she should have talked to the OP, not her child.

 

This is coming from someone who swears way too much. DH, and all of our friends do too. We aren't prudes. But I would never swear in front of somebody else's kid, especially in a school/co-op setting.

 

And my kids use "what the" all the time. I take it to mean "what the heck?"

[funschooler5]

Two things.

 

The child did not say the f word.

 

I know that heck is a substitute for hell, but it sure isn't as bad as the f word.

 

Actually three things.

 

Some people, if they can't tolerate nothing or heck, *REALLY* need to lighten up.

 

:iagree:

[homeschoolally]

Ok, came back and spit out my drink when I read the tag here.

 

Returning because I'm really puzzled on this--is it that unusual that I consider the F word in a different category than other curse words? I'm very surprised how many responses are of the 'no big deal' variety.

 

A grown woman should not say the F word to another person's child. Perhaps if the moms were friendly enough and knew that the child was already exposed to the F word--but under these conditions? Absolutely not.

 

If another parent said the F word, which I consider vulgar, to my 11 year old child--it would not be pretty.

[In The Great White North]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChocolateReign

Correct the child? For what? She didn't swear. She didn't break any obvious rules. She said something the teacher *chose* to interpret as offensive.

 

I would say she did.

 

She absolutely did NOT. No matter what you might think was implied, it WAS NOT SPOKEN.

[Imprimis]

I believe the co-op teacher was way out of line.

 

It's one thing for her to pull your daughter aside and tell her that particular phrase is not permitted in her class (and I wouldn't take issue with that), but, for her to insist that it means something it obviously does not to your daughter, is ridiculous.

 

As others have expressed here, "what the" is an ambiguous expression. I certainly wouldn't want someone imposing their own interpretation of an ambiguous (and innocent, to many of us) phrase on my children.

 

And, for her to actually use a vulgar (an definitely NOT ambiguous) word in your child's presence pushes it beyond appropriate.

 

I have two older kids, and around here "what the" IS the full expression. Used to express surprise, confusion, or incredulity. Honestly, if the "F" were intended, kids today do not stop at "the."

 

I'm very sorry your daughter experienced something like this. :grouphug:

[momma2three]

"What the...!" is what shows and movies for children and teens use when they want to toe the line. It's meant as a *wink wink* to the audience, because it's a way of swearing without actually using the swear word. In movies for little kids, it supposedly appeals to older kids who get the joke while knowing that it's going over the head of younger viewers. In shows and movies for tweens and teens, it's plain old supposed to be "edgy"... a way of swearing without actually swearing. That sort of edginess is pretty appealing to kids... I remember how cool I thought I was as a kid when I said the old clapping game about Miss Susie ("who sat upon a piece of glass and it went right up her /ask me no more questions..." etc).

 

I agree that it's rather ridiculous that the teacher actually said the word while asking that it not be said. She shouldn't have done that. Saying "the f word" should have been enough. But I agree that it was well within her right to ask that the phrase not be said. The DD should know. It doesn't even make sense that it would stand for "what in the world": then it would be "what in the..."

 

If the missing word wasn't implied to be "bad," it would be spoken.

[funschooler5]

Honestly, I use the F word, and I even think of it as "What the heck?". :confused:

 

Me too!

 

Okay, I'm only on page 11 of this thread, but I'm surprised to see the number of people who think this girl (who did not swear) did something horribly wrong, and that the teacher (who actually USED the "f" word) was completely justified in doing so?:confused:

[LeslieAnneLevine]

"What the...!" is what shows and movies for children and teens use when they want to toe the line. It's meant as a *wink wink* to the audience, because it's a way of swearing without actually using the swear word. In movies for little kids, it supposedly appeals to older kids who get the joke while knowing that it's going over the head of younger viewers. In shows and movies for tweens and teens, it's plain old supposed to be "edgy"... a way of swearing without actually swearing.

 

It's not a *wink wink* nor is it "edgy". "What the?" has been around for ages and it's on TV shows because it's what a lot of people say. It's imitating life, not trying to make teenagers snicker.

 

Now that Oreo commercial where the mom says "Shut the front door" I think is trying to be a bit edgy. I found it funny because the first few times I saw it, it really seemed like she was going to say the other thing. Maybe one day it will be something really common that people say and will lose its edginess.

[texasmama]

I would never consider it my responsibility to educate someone else's 11 year old by using the F word. I have an almost 11 year old who, to my knowledge, has not been exposed to this word. I would be very angry if a co op teacher was his first exposure to the F word.

 

If I had an issue with something a child said, I would tell the child that some people might think she was using a phrase which was rude or inappropriate. That is absolutely as far as I would take it with the child. If the child persisted in saying the half phrase, I would have a talk with the mom.

 

To me, "What the...?" ends with "hell". Not everyone assumes the F word.

[kitten18]

While I don't think the teacher should have actually said "f---" to your child, I think your child needs to know that for some people, the next word after "what the-" is "f---."

 

:iagree:

 

I would say she did. When someone doesn't finish the phrase, "what the . . " they are implying that they know a swear word goes there and they aren't saying it because they know it's a bad word.

 

I'm confused as to how the OP's family took "What in the world" to "what the"? To me, they are two totally different phrases. If you want "what the . . " to stand for "What in the world?", then you should just say, "What in the world?"

 

I can see how the teacher took her phrase as swearing and since she was student in her class, it was appropriate to correct her.

I totally agree.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

Returning because I'm really puzzled on this--is it that unusual that I consider the F word in a different category than other curse words? I'm very surprised how many responses are of the 'no big deal' variety.

 

 

I don't think it's unusual. My son has recently learned a lot of colorful language, the F-word included. From our discussions he knows it's worse than most of the others--there is another one he's learned that, in my opinion, is worse than the F-word. :glare:

[Jen500]

LMFAO at the tag.

And hey, that's Laughing my funny antlers off.

[texasmama]

LMFAO at the tag.

And hey, that's Laughing my funny antlers off.

 

:lol::lol::lol: Yeah, and WTF? As in Why Talk French?????

[JulieH]

It's not a *wink wink* nor is it "edgy". "What the?" has been around for ages and it's on TV shows because it's what a lot of people say. It's imitating life, not trying to make teenagers snicker.

 

Now that Oreo commercial where the mom says "Shut the front door" I think is trying to be a bit edgy. I found it funny because the first few times I saw it, it really seemed like she was going to say the other thing. Maybe one day it will be something really common that people say and will lose its edginess.

:iagree:completely

 

I would never consider it my responsibility to educate someone else's 11 year old by using the F word. I have an almost 11 year old who, to my knowledge, has not been exposed to this word. I would be very angry if a co op teacher was his first exposure to the F word.

 

If I had an issue with something a child said, I would tell the child that some people might think she was using a phrase which was rude or inappropriate. That is absolutely as far as I would take it with the child. If the child persisted in saying the half phrase, I would have a talk with the mom.

 

To me, "What the...?" ends with "hell". Not everyone assumes the F word.

 

:iagree:again.

 

Also, to me "what the?" ends with heck, hay etc.

[BatmansWife]

Something happened today that made me immediately think of this thread.

 

I had to take the kids to town and we stopped at my oldest dd's fav clothing store. While dd was trying on clothes, ds and I were looking at a shelf of folded t-shirts with sayings and pictures on them. A red one caught my eye because there was a scratch and sniff sticker on it. I picked it up, opened up the folded shirt, and all it says is: "WTF?" (really....this seemed so ironic to me since I was in this discussion here this morning). The picture was a pig eating lettuce off a plate looking at another pig next to him who was eating bacon off his plate. Ds was standing right next to me when I opened the shirt. I said, "Do you know what that means?" He said, "No." I know this kid has heard the f-word....on occasion in a movie or from overhearing a neighbor or someone in a store say it, etc. But, this boy doesn't e-mail or text or anything like that. He has no clue what the initials stand for. And....honestly, I'm ok with that right now.

 

Btw, the scratch and sniff was the bacon. It really did smell like bacon and ds would have loved that bacon smelling shirt. Too bad it said those 3 letters on it.

[5LittleMonkeys]

My dc occasionally let slip "What the.... " They mean it as in "What the heck". However, I have told them that it is a phrase that they do not repeat around other dc, other adults or in public because I am not naive enough to think that people will assume they are too young to be implying the f-word. I am hyper sensitive about what my dc say in public because I know how easily what they say can be misunderstood by others. Whether they mean" f... "or" heck" there is going to be someone out there that it may offend and I try very hard to raise unoffensive dc.

 

Having said that, if an adult has issue with something my dc say then they can certainly discuss it with them without actually saying the offending word and then have a follow up conversation with me about it.

 

If I were the OP I would have a conversation with dc about how what comes out of her mouth in public bears weight on how people perceive her, even if they misunderstood her, and then I would casually mention to the teacher that my dc did not mean what she thought she meant...just to set the record straight.

[Mommy22alyns]

Just replying to the OP and stepping around all the other discussion, I would be very angry if a teacher used that word at one of my girls. There are other ways to convey that "What the..." is unacceptable to say. :glare:

[SonshineLearner]

:lol::lol:

You should see the list of rules and regs that were read out loud to us.

 

My poor 7 year old is very upset because she can't wear shorts today. Or a tank top because it isn't 3 fingers wide. (it's hot out!)

Hopefully she won't be kicked out over her skinny jeans.

 

Sorry..didn't mean to hijack..I'm just feeling a little skeptical this week over co-ops!

 

Whose fingers?? Maybe it was 3 skinny fingers :) And no shorts?? Seriously!! I encouraged people to dress kinda "really cool" this last Fri at co-op due to no air conditioning. I'm ULTRA conservative, but I guess I have a mix of something else... What else would she wear?? Jeans??!! Crazy :(