Guest princemelissas Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 ok, so I agree that the young girl needed to know that it typically means "wtf" HOWEVER I feel that the response was not appropriate. that kind of language needs to be addressed between child and parent not teacher. the teacher should have addressed the situation with the mother first and then let the mother handle the situation with the child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 This teacher does not sound as if she wants to show your daughter a kindness in order to avoid further embarrassment. She does not seem to be interested in bettering your daughter or helping her understand not to use language that might be interpreted differently by other people. She sounds annoyed - especially the "so don't use it around me" part. As others have said, she did not need to actually use the word to head your daughter off from future embarrassment. I think her intent may have been to shock your daughter just as she did. I would not call that kindness - I would call it rudeness and self-centeredness. It sounds like she was just irritated because each time your daughter used the phrase, her own less-than-clean mind filled in the blank with the unacceptable word. Granted, your daughter should know how others might "hear" it. It is a good thing for her to know that it could be offensive to other people. It may have ended up being a good thing for your daughter to learn, but I still don't think the teacher needed to actually use the word. Other posters have suggested at least five other ways she could have explained the alternative usage without actually uttering the offensive word. ETA: If I had heard your daughter repeating that phrase I might have gently pulled her aside and said something like, "Sweetie, I know you probably don't know this, but that phrase can mean something very vulgar and I think you should stop using it in public." I really don't think this teacher cared one bit about your daughter - she simply didn't want the phrase used because it kept reminding her of the f word. She reacted selfishly - not in kindness. If it were me, she'd be getting a visit from one very upset mom. :iagree: especially with the part about intending to shock. I think it's likely she also intended to embarrass/humilate the child. That is not appropriate at all for what the teacher's own words show that she knew could well be an inadvertant offense. I am not sure if I can come up with an appropriate offense to use shock,embarrassment, humiliation for--maybe a potentially criminal offense. "Do you know what that means?" indicates she knew very well that simple ignorance/innocence could be the reason for the use of the phrase. It was disrespectful to a high degree. I see the teacher as a total hypocrite: "I want you to respect me enough not to use a certain phrase in my presence, so I'll disrespect you to teach you to respect me. My pure mind cannot abide hearing a phrase which it cannot help but fill in with the F word, which offends me, so I will speak the F word to offend/shock/embarrass you to teach you not to offend me. You inadvertantly offended me? Let me intentionally offend you and your parents." We need a puking emoticon. Any public school teacher would get run up the flagpole for responding that way. I would expect at least public school standards to be followed in discipling children at a co-op. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 :iagree: especially with the part about intending to shock. I think it's likely she also intended to embarrass/humilate the child. That is not appropriate at all for what the teacher's own words show that she knew could well be an inadvertant offense. I am not sure if I can come up with an appropriate offense to use shock,embarrassment, humiliation for--maybe a potentially criminal offense. "Do you know what that means?" indicates she knew very well that simple ignorance/innocence could be the reason for the use of the phrase. It was disrespectful to a high degree. I see the teacher as a total hypocrite: "I want you to respect me enough not to use a certain phrase in my presence, so I'll disrespect you to teach you to respect me. My pure mind cannot abide hearing a phrase which it cannot help but fill in with the F word, which offends me, so I will speak the F word to offend/shock/embarrass you to teach you not to offend me. You inadvertantly offended me? Let me intentionally offend you and your parents." We need a puking emoticon. Any public school teacher would get run up the flagpole for responding that way. I would expect at least public school standards to be followed in discipling children at a co-op. Wow. Did that leap hurt? What an awful assumption, and with nothing on which to base it. I don't know the woman in the OP but I feel for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Wow!!!! 35 pages!!! What the?????? :tongue_smilie: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Wow. Did that leap hurt? LOL, Joanne. You slay me! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I know, I know....I'm resurrecting this thread again. But, I couldn't help it. My 7 year old and I were just cleaning the living room. All of a sudden she says, "What the?" I looked at her (actually shocked that I just heard her say that....I thought I was having a daydream of this thread here or something). She was looking at her elbow and repeated it, only this time saying, "What the heck?! Why is my elbow sticky?" :lol: I actually didn't even know she knew that phrase. But...I can assure you she never would have intended to mean the f-word. I wouldn't have uttered it. No telling why the woman did in the first place, but once it was said, it was out there. No going back, kwim? It's a tough call on the OP's part. Having been the co-op teacher in situations involving disgruntled parents, I guess I lean a little toward the teacher's side of things. Gack. Working with people is just. not. easy. (said after a particularly hairy day at the pharmacy....the full moon seems to bring out the worst in people!) Well this just blew my whole theory! :glare: I thought I had it all figured out. I was pretty sure that Ria was the co-op teacher who said the nasty word to the 11-year old. :smilielol5:Just kiddin' Ria. Really.....just kiddin'. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 this just blew my whole theory! :glare: I thought I had it all figured out. I was pretty sure that Ria was the co-op teacher who said the nasty word to the 11-year old. :D LOL! Certainly, from my participation in this thread you'd think I'm spouting it all the time, I'm sure. The reality is that I rarely use that word...maybe a few times a year if that....but I reserve the right to use it if needed. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 LOL! Certainly, from my participation in this thread you'd think I'm spouting it all the time, I'm sure. The reality is that I rarely use that word...maybe a few times a year if that....but I reserve the right to use it if needed. :tongue_smilie: :D Whew...glad you weren't offended (people don't always get my humor). :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I would tell her in no uncertain terms that I did not want her to use that kind of language with my kid ever again. The phrase could also end with "heck." I'd also let the people in charge of the co-op know what happened. That is the one word that drives me over the edge. :iagree: I think the parent's way of handling this was entirely inappropriate and she should have quietly talked with you. It's just not her job to "set your dd straight." Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3peasinWa Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 my 5 yr old says "what the..?":lol: he used to say the whole thing "what the heck?" but he shortened it on his own. I hope no one ever tells him what they think it means...b/c he's never heard the F word..geez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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