Annoying things non-home schoolers say

[johnandtinagilbert]

Just thought I'd compile the garbage so we can all take it out at the beginning of the school year. After 12 years of home schooling, I've learned that people who make these comments are I.g.n.o.r.a.n.t in the truest definition (not as an insult). Here's a couple from today's boards:

 

1. What about state standards? Um with our low numbers as a nation, is that a standard we want to follow?

 

2. Don't you want stability for your child? B/c a different teacher, bus driver, lunch lady, students, materials are all so stable.

 

keep 'em comin. I know we have heard it all! Newbies....forget what they say. Go with your gut about home schooling. You'll feel better about in a couple of years and you'll look back and laugh that people actually bothered you!

[Spryte]

3. But they won't be properly socialized!

[Hunter's Moon]

Aren't you basically a drop-out? Uhh, no. Last time I checked, drop-outs don't do schoolwork at home.

 

Why would colleges accept a homeschooler when they can just be lying? SAT scores don't lie. And recently, our town had a principal fired for playing around with students' state test scores.

[Crimson Wife]

 

• "If your children are bored in school, you should just do academic enrichment after school." Sure, so they can waste 6-7 hours per day bored out of their minds and then have no time to enjoy their childhood because I'm using afternoons & weekends to give them the academics they didn't get in school :rolleyes:
  
• "Stop being so selfish- if parents like you spent as much time and effort improving the public schools as you do homeschooling, all children would benefit, not just your own children." So I'm just supposed to sacrifice my children's education to pursue an exercise in futility. In these days of NCLB and state standards, parents have *NO* actual input on how schools are run. :glare:
  
• The assumption that just because I'm a Christian homeschooler, that I must be a Republican (I'm not), a YEC (nope), patriarchal (definitely no), racist (I sure hope not!), want to brainwash my kids (absolutely not!), etc.
  

 

[ErinD]

"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

[HootyTooty]

"You must really love your kids"

"I can't do it, I hate being around my kids all the time, I obviously don't love them enough".

[johnandtinagilbert]

"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

:lol::lol::lol:

[VBCaroline]

"Are you a teacher?"

[Parker Martin]

"I don't do that because I support public schools." (I am amused by the mental image of government school being some kind of pagan god that wants to be fed children.)

[FO4UR]

3. But they won't be properly socialized!

 

...as she yells at her kid to stop spitting on Johnny...:001_huh:

[JoJo]

How are they going to find friends? -their siblings are their friends, as are the neighbors, those in our church, the nursing home residents, etc....and if that isn't enough, we have quite a large local homeschool group that gathers regularly for outings and activities.

 

Shouldn't they be around people their own age? -no thanks, I'd rather have my children willing and able to communicate comfortably and joyfully with ALL ages!

 

Who is going to teach them about more...um....private matters? -for REAL?! How about their daddy and I? At least then they can get the real facts, versus the pass around trash from other hormone enraged teens, or better/worse yet, what they could learn from the local 'sex ed' class :001_huh: :ack2:

[Parker Martin]

"I could never do that." Said in a tone indicating that being with one's children all day is the most horrible fate imaginable.

[Parker Martin]

"What about prom?"

"How will they play football?"

"But you already paid for public school with your property tax."

[jjins]

"Don't you get tired of never having a break?" ummm... seriously??? :p

 

 

"What, you are having them do school work on Saturday?" my children replied to this with, "when should we not be learning" <3

 

 

My MIL in one breath:

"how will you ever make sure they get time to socialize with children their own age" immediately followed by: "well, if you must do that, can you at LEAST have them do their gymnastics and cheer practices during the day so they can have SOME time with their dad?" "gosh, I would, but there would be NO other children their age at practice!!!" :ack2:

 

My children at least one grade ahead in all subjects. Learning science and history public school elementary students never have an opportunity to explore.

 

They do have a weakness... handwriting. I am convinced it is two things, first I do NOT work enough in this area. Second, they can dictate, share thoughts, do not have to put their name (and teacher's name) on EVERY paper, and they do not have other classmates judging their penmanship. We are working on this.

[Hwin]

- "I wish someone would homeschool MY kids!"

[Bang!Zoom!]

"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

 

:lol:

[clarkacademy]

Years ago when my oldest was young a woman asked her very rudely Shouldn't you be in school? So my quick little girl answered, Shouldn't you be at work? That is our standard answer now for anyone who asks this. I hate rude people who think their ideas are the only right ideas.

[jjins]

OH... I forgot this one and I replied PERFECTLY to her!!!

 

"why would you homeschool when you can send your children to public school for free??" Looked at her kinder and said, "You get what you pay for!" and walked away!

 

Never felt so proud! is that bad??? Good grief. I homeschool because I WANT TO!

[jjins]

"I could never do that." Said in a tone indicating that being with one's children all day is the most horrible fate imaginable.

 

 

:iagree: Could not have said this any better. We hear this A LOT!

[Abbeygirlsouth]

"I can't believe people are allowed to homeschool." :glare:

[Mrs Twain]

"Do you use any books?"

It may be hard to believe, but I have heard this one multiple times (particularly from public school teachers).

At first I was too astounded to think up a reply. Next time I hear it I may say, "Yes, I have spent more than $1,000 just this year on books and curricula, besides the 80+ I have checked out from the library."

[Parker Martin]

"How will they learn math?"

[shanvan]

Can't believe no one has said this one yet.....

 

"But how do you know they're really learning?"

 

I really hate when Dh interrupts to say I was a public school teacher b/c that isn't the point. I usually say, "when you spend time teaching the same child day after day it's pretty apparent if they are mastering the material or not. I mean if they tell you 20 divided by 5 is 2, you pretty much know what you have to reteach (and I use many other examples if the person I'm speaking with still isn't getting it--thus showing that I am able to identify when someone understands and when they don't--just like with teaching Dc)"!

 

Shannon

[Parker Martin]

"Do you use any books?"

 

Tempting answers:

"No."

"Bleh! Those are boring!"

"Are you insulting the fact that I cannot read, ma'am?!"

"Do you? By your question I'm mildly surprised you've contact with any."

[woolybear]

1) "I could never do that."

 

2) "Do you need to have a degree to do that?"

 

3) "Oh, I'd like to homeschool................" (that sentence either fades out or finishes with #1.)

 

4) And a new one from my Dad and the answer I came right back with. "Isn't there going to be a point where they are ahead of you?" "Maybe. Then I guess I wouldn't have gotten a very good education in public school, hm?"

[woolybear]

Oh, yes. I forgot this one. From my mom--Going into my sixth year of hsing--"Is there some kind of syllabus that you follow? Do you get a syllabus from the school system?" :confused:

[woolybear]

I'm getting on a roll now.

 

"How will they learn to deal with bullies/difficult people/real life?"

 

 

editing to add: They live with me. :) As an answer to above.

Edited August 15, 2011 by woolybear
just getting silly now

[Crimson Wife]

"How will they learn math?"

 

Oh, I hear variations of this one a lot! Only it's not math in general but one of the more advanced high school topics like trigonometry or calculus.

 

My typical response is that the need to outsource a particularly difficult subject does not make someone unfit to teach elementary school. I'd outsource an elaborate wedding banquet, but that doesn't mean my family eats out for every single meal. :lol:

[Hunter]

Every time I asked my ex-husband for book money, he said, "I don't understand why I have to pay for his education twice."

 

Hmm, maybe because YOU are his FATHER, and the reason he is a profoundly gifted aspie with a bad attitude is because he is YOUR son. I'm not responsible for the taxes you do or do not pay into the local school system that YOUR son is not allowed to attend. I'm only responsible to teach him, and to do that I need books. Ugh!

[Farrar]

"So, I guess they give you the curriculum and you have to follow along with it?"

 

I have heard more times than I can count some variation of this assumption that a) the school district gives us materials and b) we have to do pretty much exactly what the schoolkids do, just with more one-on-one attention. Good grief. No. I find it hard to respond to because clearly the person is trying to be nice, friendly, and isn't anti-homeschooling or anything, they're just completely ignorant. Do you want the 15 min. "what is homeschooling anyway" spiel or should I just leave it at "nope."

[Hunter]

Can't believe no one has said this one yet.....

 

"But how do you know they're really learning?"

 

Shannon

 

This one reminds me of people asking me how I knew my older son was getting enough to eat while nursing. He was 21 pounds at 4 months old! I just used to stare at them incredulously. Ummmm...because for each person who asks me how I know if he is getting enough to eat, another person tells me I need to put him on a diet.

 

With my younger son it was, how do you know if he is learning enough, and also don't you think you are pushing him too hard. People are just nuts.

[blondeviolin]

I love the area I'm in. Just today our librarian asked my oldest when school starts. After she was informed we homeschool she said, "oh? Which curriculum did you choose?" :D

[Parker Martin]

This one reminds me of people asking me how I knew my older son was getting enough to eat while nursing.

 

Ha ha. Yes. Also, "How many ounces does he usually have?" This from people who knew I nursed. No, I do not have gradating ounce marks on my chest.

[RahRah]

"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

 

:party:

[YaelAldrich]

From MIL (a public school teacher),

 

As we started HSing, "How do you know you will be teaching them enough/the right things? He isn't going to know enough with HSing!"

 

After we did a standardized test during his second year of HSing, showing DS at least 2-9years above his grade level, "You're teaching too much! You need to stop teaching him so much!"

 

Can't win either way!

[Heidi]

"So, I guess they give you the curriculum and you have to follow along with it?"

 

I have heard more times than I can count some variation of this assumption that a) the school district gives us materials and b) we have to do pretty much exactly what the schoolkids do, just with more one-on-one attention. Good grief. No. I find it hard to respond to because clearly the person is trying to be nice, friendly, and isn't anti-homeschooling or anything, they're just completely ignorant. Do you want the 15 min. "what is homeschooling anyway" spiel or should I just leave it at "nope."

 

I hear that one the most as well.

 

How about: I think kids need to experience bad teachers and bullies.

 

(Bad teacher: me. CHECK! Bullies: siblings.CHECK!)

[NittanyJen]

"You have to cut the apron strings some time, you know!"

 

(from the parents who drive their kids 10 mailboxes down our quiet, safe, suburban cul-de-sac street to the bus stop, and sit with them in the car until the bus comes, engine and air conditioner running, and complain that they don't have enough money to pay their electric bills . . . after wasting all that gas on kids who have perfectly good feet, then drive down in the afternoon and sit in a running car, AC blasting away, waiting for the bus to come again in the afternoon lest their precious 3rd and 4th graders walk ten whole mailboxes by themselves . . . during which time my kids are playing down in the creek in the woods in the nature area behind our house . . . ).

[Spryte]

Years ago when my oldest was young a woman asked her very rudely Shouldn't you be in school? So my quick little girl answered, Shouldn't you be at work? That is our standard answer now for anyone who asks this. I hate rude people who think their ideas are the only right ideas.

 

Tucking that one in my bag of responses! Good one!

[ClassicalTwins]

This thread is great! Most of my comments are in the "I couldn't be around my kids THAT much"...really? This seems weird to me when birthdays roll around and the same parents complain "when did they grow up" or "we never see them":001_huh:

[momacacia]

Ah, yes, socialization, and "our school district is so good!" This raised by our Jewish neighbor about a school district where the middle school made national news for some kids who were "celebrating" "hit a Jew day." Yes, THAT'S where I want my kids hanging out! :001_huh:

 

From a ps teacher in our Sunday school: " but my kids get to do violin and chess and I feel so bad for you dd, she must be so lonely!" all I can think is that if my dd wants to be a world-class violinist or chess player, she would need a private tutor (me :) ) because doesn't have time to waste in school! But I just smile and move on. I could never undo all the damage the NEA has done to that lady's brain. ;)

[momacacia]

We had an unusually snowy winter last year with quite a few snow days. a couple of the moms started, in all seriousness, making prayer requests that there wouldn't be snow days because they just couldn't handle another one with their kids. Seriously!? Kids love snow days, it's a glorious joy of childhood. All just confirmed my suspicion that "school" is really just a community daycare program. :glare:

[NittanyJen]

"Homeschooling sounds kind of interesting, but we just aren't that religious."

 

(:::::scratching head:::::::)

 

"It sounds as if your kids get a really nice education, but we don't believe in raising our kids in isolation."

 

(said while we chat over drinks while our families' kids run around the yard playing) I have been known to comment drily, "Well, I do try to remember to let them out of the basement every now and then."

 

"You guys are never home any more, because the kids are in so many activities now that you homeschool. It sounds neat, but don't you worry about socialization?"

 

(:::::::scratching head:::::::)

 

"Your kids are so well-behaved, polite, and get along with all the other kids they meet. But don't you worry about socialization?"

 

(::::::scratching head:::::::)

 

 

"Elementary school is fine, but you know you will HAVE to send them back for high school. You aren't qualified to teach them when they get to high school."

 

(:::::scratching head:::::) I think it's kind of irrelevant, but really? I have degrees in biology and linguistics, and my husband has degrees in physics and math, and we are both extremely well-read and well-versed in history. I teach martial arts and have published peer-reviewed research in genetics, speech therapy, and physical therapy fields as a co-author or thank-you mention, and between us, we speak at least some German, French, and Japanese. My husband speaks professionally as part of his career, as did I before retiring, and we both had to write and assist with editing as part of our careers, and I have edited professionally as well. At one point in my career I was in management for a fortune-500 company. Somehow, I think we just might muddle through. Okay, wait . . . if they want to learn auto-repair, advanced business theory, or marine science, or head for seminary, we just might farm that out. And we'll be okay with it :).

 

However, that's not an answer I can give. I don't want to give laypeople the impression that homeschooling requires special credentials; I don't believe that it does, for the dedicated parent!

[Sun]

"But they'll miss the last day of school! Every kid should get to have the last day of school!" I really had no idea how to respond to this one because it was just so nonsensical.

[Mrs Twain]

Tempting answers:

"No."

"Bleh! Those are boring!"

"Are you insulting the fact that I cannot read, ma'am?!"

"Do you? By your question I'm mildly surprised you've contact with any."

 

Actually, the books comment has become a standing joke in our house.

 

My husband will say, "Um, do you, you know, use any books?" He usually says this after I have told him about how many more cool things I want to buy which I heard about on the WTM forum.

[NittanyJen]

We had an unusually snowy winter last year with quite a few snow days. a couple of the moms started, in all seriousness, making prayer requests that there wouldn't be snow days because they just couldn't handle another one with their kids. Seriously!? Kids love snow days, it's a glorious joy of childhood. All just confirmed my suspicion that "school" is really just a community daycare program. :glare:

 

I actually get this.

 

When my kids went to PS, yes, I still had a bunch of great stuff in the house-- that's just the kind of people we are-- real geeks :). We generally ended up with the neighborhood flock at our place.

 

However, after a real string of snowdays, since I was not in the habit of having any kind of a plan, and I wasn't really in tune with nearly as many local opportunities as I am now, the kids would get rammy and bored, and at least in our area, snow can be "halfway" snowy-- kind of nasty and slushy and unpleasant to play in, even if one is properly dressed for it. Hence, after several days of that, with little physical outlet available beyond the Wii, or Hyperdash or whatnot, a group of just barely pre-teen boys can start tearing the house down if you don't have a real plan and nowhere to go!

 

It has nothing to do with not liking your kids or not wanting to be around them or not appreciating the joys of childhood. It's just a practical matter of typically expecting to have x number of indoor days worth of stuff planned, and then getting trapped inside for xxx days and getting a serious case of cabin fever.

 

When we were in our early days of HS, I found a week of vacation more stressful than schooltime. Now we can have fun, explore, play, or go our own way and be fine. But that abrupt change in expectation can be tough, and has nothing to do with not loving your kids enough or not liking them.

[2cents]

OK, I have a whopper. I almost wasn't believing my ears. My son is going away to college and a friend said she was worried about him because someone might want to sell him drugs and since he was homeschooled (even though he has spent the last 3 years going to a local college) she apparently thought he wouldn't know what to do.

 

:confused: Seriously!!!???!!! I simply told her, "He would say 'no' like he would anywhere else. Has nothing to do with educational choices. It is common sense." I was flabbergasted. It isn't like I kept him in a bubble all these years. :blink: There really aren't any smilies that can do this justice.

[Mommy22alyns]

"I just don't see how you have the patience!"

 

Said to me by a lovely woman who basically raised her troubled grandson (who at one time was actually LIGHTING FIRES in his bedroom). :001_huh:

[Donna T.]

This thread reminds me of the time that we went on a family vacation at the beach in April, intending to enjoy it before the summer crowds arrived. We were in a store and the check-out clerk asked why the kids weren't in school. I told him that we home-school and he said, "Oh, I could never support homeschooling. Kids need to be out in the real world and not locked up in their house all the time." :blink: My son was seven at the time and he said, "But, we ARE in the real world... right now!!"

[Chelli]

"Obviously, it's easy for you because you used to be a public school teacher."

 

My education degree has helped me 0% in homeschooling my child. It will help you with crowd control, plan lessons to teach to the "test", get frustrated with parents who don't believe that their sweet little angel could ever begin stripping in class (8th grader), and go home every night wondering why you can't just teach history and the government leave you ALONE!

 

This has helped me soooo much in trying to teach my dc to love learning, that being smart is cool, that being respectful to others is what makes you beautiful, and I live in Texas where the government doesn't bother me about homeschooling and I finally just get to teach, which is what I love in the first place! :D

[mom2l&j]

Just last week I had a gal tell me that homeschooled kids are weird. Then she went on to tell me that she had a girl that sat next to her in high school that would bite her toe nails during class.

 

My response? I guess there are weird kids that go to public school too.