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Annoying things non-home schoolers say


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"Are you a teacher?"

 

This just has all *kinds* of (false) implications. It implies that I should be a "teacher" to homeschool. which implies that a teacher is only someone who has a degree and implies that teachers are doing a great job which implies that if I'm not a teacher I will not do a great job which implies that I should not be homeschooling.

 

There is so much loaded into those four words that I just cannot find the kind, right way to answer...

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In defense of ignorance, I have said in the past that i didn't know how to homeschool. I flirted with the idea when ds was going to ps kindergarten, but found the wealth of information frightening. Then there was the indoctrination. Teaching requires certification. Special skills are needed to teach.

 

Then I started working with ds on his homework. I gave him books to read that were interesting and at his reading level. I taught him multiplication and division. But it wasn't until I volunteered in the school during ds's second grade year that I realized I was wrong. I knew how to homeschool because I had been homeschooling my child since birth.

 

A hs family moved into the neighborhood and the mother was extremely helpful, showing me her curriculum choices present and past. She went into detail what worked and what didn't. My hs philosophy is different from hers, but her guidance made my choices easier. So thanks to all the hs parents and guardians willing to lead the ignorant to the light. I greatly appreciate your help!

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Remember the response to socialization from the 90s that went something like:

 

Other children are like candy. My children enjoy them, but too much of a good thing will spoil them.

 

It shuts people up quickly as they have NO ready response to THAT :-)

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A relative constantly tells me that it's bad for kids to be with their mothers too much. Here's the funny thing. She works in a city public school and works with kids who have mothers that could care less about them, mistreat them, make them sell drugs, and pimp them out. Later, she will tell me what a great mother she was to her kids because she actually paid attention to them, while the neighbors would make snide comments to her about how much attention she gave her kids! :001_huh:

 

This one is actually positive. A girl that my daughter sees at the YMCA always tells my daughter, "I wish MY mom would homeschool ME!"

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:D I haven't read them all, but here's some I've heard:

 

"How will they graduate? Will they get a diploma?"

"Oh, I could never do that!" Said, while laughing.

Also--- "Do ya'll get together with others (homeschoolers)." I usually respond "oh, yes, and we have to "make" time for the the academics there's just soooo many activities going on." :lol:

 

Love this thread!!;)

 

homemama

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I couldn't ever do that, I don't have the patience. - For those that use this in a sneering tone, I simply respond and agree with them. They don't like me agreeing with them though......hmm...:rolleyes:

 

I don't have time for that, I actually have things to do during the day. - This was said to me by someone who seemed to be insinuating that the reason I homeschool is because I don't have anything to do. Oh that's right, I only homeschool, cook, clean, laundry and a ton of activities in the community. :blink:

 

I wouldn't do that to my child, she needs to be around other kids. - ya, I guess I should let my child meet another child since she never has.

 

You can't protect them from everything, you need to cut the umbilical cord. - :glare:

As Christians, we should keep our kids in public school so they can save the bad kids. - really!? :confused:

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When I get the ignorant comments, I usually let them go in one ear and out the other, but I just remembered this gem from a few weeks ago.

 

Immediately before approaching my mouth with a drill to do a filling, my dentist let out an unexpected litany of homeschooling "concerns", many of which have already been mentioned here. I was so taken back that I was a bit rude to her and told her that because homeschooling is not usually on her radar, she probably knows little about it. I explained to her that HSers do actually read about what they are doing and there are plenty of books about HSing. She clearly wasn't satisfied, so I gave her a specific example of how I am currently covering a subject with my daughter that her grade level peers in the public school were probably not going to learn until later grades. Her response was, "Well, I guess the worst is that either she knows too much or knows too little." :glare:

 

Yes, this woman is still my dentist as she's good at what she does, but this exchange has definitely changed our usual rapport.

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When I get the ignorant comments, I usually let them go in one ear and out the other, but I just remembered this gem from a few weeks ago.

 

Immediately before approaching my mouth with a drill to do a filling, my dentist let out an unexpected litany of homeschooling "concerns", many of which have already been mentioned here. I was so taken back that I was a bit rude to her and told her that because homeschooling is not usually on her radar, she probably knows little about it. I explained to her that HSers do actually read about what they are doing and there are plenty of books about HSing. She clearly wasn't satisfied, so I gave her a specific example of how I am currently covering a subject with my daughter that her grade level peers in the public school were probably not going to learn until later grades. Her response was, "Well, I guess the worst is that either she knows too much or knows too little." :glare:

 

Yes, this woman is still my dentist as she's good at what she does, but this exchange has definitely changed our usual rapport.

Next time you go, be well educated about her field or a topic that is hot in that field. Then, once you've had a great discussion say, "Wow. If you had known that much about home schooling, our previous discussion could have been this exciting. At least I know we're both well informed in our fields now."

 

We had a doctor be all snooty academic to us ONCE. I fired back :) with a huge smile and he saw the light. :D

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Next time you go, be well educated about her field or a topic that is hot in that field. Then, once you've had a great discussion say, "Wow. If you had known that much about home schooling, our previous discussion could have been this exciting. At least I know we're both well informed in our fields now."

 

Haha, good idea! There is a small part of me that might be willing to do this.

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Haha, good idea! There is a small part of me that might be willing to do this.

I'd have to be a in special mood for it, for certain.

 

In a similar way, I let a Home Depot employee have it comically once.

 

When my 5 dc were with me in their spots on the cart being angels she said, "Don't you know what causes that?" Totally unoriginal, btw.

 

"Yes, we do. And we really like it."

 

She blushed and said nothing more than have a nice day. It was priceless. I felt redeemed for all the times someone commented about family size or home schooling. It was a glorious, victorious moment!

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I'd have to be a in special mood for it, for certain.

 

In a similar way, I let a Home Depot employee have it comically once.

 

When my 5 dc were with me in their spots on the cart being angels she said, "Don't you know what causes that?" Totally unoriginal, btw.

 

"Yes, we do. And we really like it."

 

She blushed and said nothing more than have a nice day. It was priceless. I felt redeemed for all the times someone commented about family size or home schooling. It was a glorious, victorious moment!

 

:lol: My dear friend who raises and homeschools 7 beautiful children gets that a lot and she would always answer, "yep, it's what keeps me smilin."

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You have to be SUPER organized to homeschool, and you arn't the most organized (said while laughing :glare:) - Thanks MIL :D

 

You should put her in a year of school before you homeschool.... :confused::confused: why??? Said by several people.

 

 

i get the organized comment a lot! but i am sooooo unorganized! how do i respond to that??

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Oh, I hear variations of this one a lot! Only it's not math in general but one of the more advanced high school topics like trigonometry or calculus.

 

My typical response is that the need to outsource a particularly difficult subject does not make someone unfit to teach elementary school. I'd outsource an elaborate wedding banquet, but that doesn't mean my family eats out for every single meal. :lol:

:D I really like that comparison.

 

"Homeschooling sounds kind of interesting, but we just aren't that religious."

 

(:::::scratching head:::::::)

 

 

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

What is your reason for homeschooling? If it is because you are trying to shelter them from being se*ually abused just because you were, that would be the wrong reason to do it.....

:001_huh: WOW:grouphug:

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Besides the usual "How will they learn to do homework how will they learn to cope with bullies they're so smart imagine how much they'd know if you'd put them in school children shouldn't be raised in isolation yada yada yada," here's the whipsawing pair I especially hate:

 

You're robbing the public schools of funding by refusing to enroll your children. Homeschooling families have withdrawn from the community.

 

Yes, because my children belong, by default, to the ISD, and you can only be a good citizen by having your kids in public school.

 

You're robbing the diocesan schools of funding by refusing to enroll your children. Homeschooling families have withdrawn from the community.

 

Yes, because my children belong, by default, to the diocesan schools, and you can only be a good Catholic by having your kids in the parish school.

 

Oh, I'm sorry, who owns my children? I can't keep track.

 

It's such a warm feeling to know I'm simultaneously being a bad citizen and a bad Catholic.

 

 

 

 

(With a special shout-out to Ned Vanders & Fr. Peter Stravinskas. There's a special room in Purgatory where they make you do constructivist math and rough you up for your lunch money until you beg St Peter to homeschool you.)

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I had a public school teacher (fellow baseball mom) confront me with, "Let me ask you a question, WHY on earth would you want to homeschool?" Uhhhh, because of rude people like you who spend 8 hours a day doing a job you aren't suited for??? Not really, but I would have liked to have said that. The really funny thing she said was, "I couldn't do it." Yet she COULD do it with a class of 30 kids that weren't her own. Go figure.

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Oh yeah, the "Christian kids need to be in the public schools to witness to them." My children ARE my most important mission field. And it's hardly appropriate to place that sort of expectation on small children.

 

"I would homeschool if I didn't have to teach my kids to read. That's just so hard." (from a former 2nd grade teacher, turned SAHM) And I hear similar versions of that one all the time from former teachers who are now home with their kids - they could never homeschool.

Edited by kesmom
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This thread reminds me of the time that we went on a family vacation at the beach in April, intending to enjoy it before the summer crowds arrived. We were in a store and the check-out clerk asked why the kids weren't in school. I told him that we home-school and he said, "Oh, I could never support homeschooling. Kids need to be out in the real world and not locked up in their house all the time." :blink: My son was seven at the time and he said, "But, we ARE in the real world... right now!!"

 

My 11 yr old is rolling right now at this one!

:lol:

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I can relate to so many of these. Here are a few we have received:

 

"I couldn't stand to be around my kids that much." :glare:

 

"Do you stay in your pajamas all day every day?" Um, no, here I am in the grocery store fully dressed!

 

"Will you put them in PS for high school when they need to learn real things?" Evidently the Algebra, History and Latin we have learned have all been unreal.

 

and from my not so supportive sibling -

"I think we are obligated to support the public schools."

 

and my favorite

 

"How will they learn to eat lunch in a cafeteria?" clearly a more important life skill than math :tongue_smilie:.

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The one I get fairly often is - "I just want to be able to be their mother. I couldn"t do that if I homeschooled." I have even had a dad say the same thing concerning his wife and homeschooling.

 

?"

 

I have never heard this one before but I totally get it. School is hard, at least my version of it is hard to my kids and they whine and complain which gets on my ever lovin' nerves. And I'm the bad guy all.the.time. But I wouldn't have been able to predict that would happen beforehand. It was fun and easy for quite a long while. Those days are gone. :tongue_smilie:

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This thread reminds me of the time that we went on a family vacation at the beach in April, intending to enjoy it before the summer crowds arrived. We were in a store and the check-out clerk asked why the kids weren't in school. I told him that we home-school and he said, "Oh, I could never support homeschooling. Kids need to be out in the real world and not locked up in their house all the time." :blink: My son was seven at the time and he said, "But, we ARE in the real world... right now!!"

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

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I can relate to so many of these. Here are a few we have received:

 

"I couldn't stand to be around my kids that much." :glare:

 

"Do you stay in your pajamas all day every day?" Um, no, here I am in the grocery store fully dressed!

 

"Will you put them in PS for high school when they need to learn real things?" Evidently the Algebra, History and Latin we have learned have all been unreal.

 

and from my not so supportive sibling -

"I think we are obligated to support the public schools."

 

and my favorite

 

"How will they learn to eat lunch in a cafeteria?" clearly a more important life skill than math :tongue_smilie:.

 

:smilielol5:

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LOLOL! I JUST had this conversation with a friend this morning. Thankfully she is also an (ungrading) homeschool mom so she totally understood when I got a blank look on my face and after a long "Ummmmmmm", started counting on my fingers to figure out what grade they would be in based on their ages!

I get this too, but as an added bonus, an American friend's MIL asked me what grade DD was, and I had to convert age, to UK year, to US grade.

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:lol: My dear friend who raises and homeschools 7 beautiful children gets that a lot and she would always answer, "yep, it's what keeps me smilin."

 

My urologist gave me the "do you know what causes that line" when I was pregnant with #7. I see him for chronic UTI's that started on my honeymoon. :tongue_smilie:

 

I said, "same thing that causes these dang UTI's, but babies are lots more fun." :D

 

It really did chap my hide that he was all proud of himself for knowing how to prevent the babies... golly, miss molly, could we please figure out how to prevent the UTI's? because those are seriously dragging me down.

 

Now since the birth of #7 I've had one UTI in 2.5 years. I say ds cured me. Take THAT urologist dude!

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From my MIL, who never really got why we were homeschooling ds8, I guess: ” You ARE going to let dd6 go to public school, aren't you? She's smart, too, and needs to get out of her brother's shadow.” (Or her alternative phrasing: ” She should have a chance to be the big fish in a little pond.”)

 

Umm, I'm not running a competition here, she's not ” in his shadow,” and ” big fish in a little pond” is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. I intend for her to go to college, and big fishes in little ponds usually find out they are really little fish in big ponds who haven't a clue how to study or budget time. Ask how I know.

 

I actually said something vague and non-committal to her, but I wanted to say the above, or maybe point out how well public school is working out for her other smart grandchildren.

Edited by Maus
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Teachers tell me all the stories they know of homeschooled kids who come to ps and are way, way behind. What do you say? I'm sure there are people who abuse hs but bc one person in the school district failed with homeschooling then we all are doomed to failure also?

 

My mom knows someone who was homeschooled but was farm labor for her parents. I mean, she tells me this constantly, "I just don't know about homeschooling, you know, XXX was homeschooled but she was basically free labor for the farm." Sometimes I say, "Well we don't have a farm...so I guess you don't have to worry about that." :001_huh:

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Last year my son took a class at our local high school. The class started at 7:20 a.m. One of his classmates, on hearing he was homeschooled said, "Oh, that is great! I wish I were homeschooled. Since you are homeschooled, do you get to sleep in every day?" :001_huh:

 

My kids have been volunteering for the past three years one day a week at a retirement home. In addition, my oldest had been doing some one on one computer tutoring. When I told the volunteer coordinator that my son was going to miss some weeks because he was playing on the high school tennis team, her response was, "Oh that is great! Socialization is so important for kids that are homeschooled." :001_huh:

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Teachers tell me all the stories they know of homeschooled kids who come to ps and are way, way behind. What do you say? I'm sure there are people who abuse hs but bc one person in the school district failed with homeschooling then we all are doomed to failure also?

 

I have two particular relatives who are retired teachers and who are still (after 12 years) slightly disturbed that we homeschool. I still hear the same stories from each of them, at least once a year, about the one family of kids that entered their school system after being homeschooled and were so far behind they couldn't even write a sentence in fifth grade.

 

It took me a while to respond effectively but I finally came up with asking them whether or not they had ever had a fifth grader in their classroom who had attended PS all their lives and couldn't properly write a sentence. The answer is always "yes" and then the light dawns though sometimes I have to go a step further and actually state that there are failures in public school just as there are in homeschool.

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This one reminds me of people asking me how I knew my older son was getting enough to eat while nursing. He was 21 pounds at 4 months old! I just used to stare at them incredulously. Ummmm...because for each person who asks me how I know if he is getting enough to eat, another person tells me I need to put him on a diet.

 

With my younger son it was, how do you know if he is learning enough, and also don't you think you are pushing him too hard. People are just nuts.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Yup! They run around naked and I make 'em write in the dirt w/ their fingers!

 

:rofl::w00t::willy_nilly::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

my favorite response when asked why I homeschool is " Well, my 11 year old is in 1st grade spelling (thanks public school) 8th grade math and is starting a class ath the community college in september. I couldn't ask the public school to be so accomodating to her educational needs."

 

that REALLY shuts them up.

 

robin in NJ

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my favorite response when asked why I homeschool is " Well, my 11 year old is in 1st grade spelling (thanks public school) 8th grade math and is starting a class ath the community college in september. I couldn't ask the public school to be so accomodating to her educational needs."

 

that REALLY shuts them up.

 

robin in NJ

 

That is close to what I say a lot. My daughter taught herself to read Dick and Jane at around 3-1/2. I was NOT going to make her then wait two years before putting her in kindergarten. (Her birthday is not until Feb.) Now she is just all over the board, and I can just see the PS trying to accomodate her 3rd grade math, 5th grade language arts, and 12th grade reading ability. She is currently 7.

 

I even talked to a "really good" charter school once that said they can put them in math and/or reading groups a year higher than their age level, but that they didn't really move them up a grade because they liked to keep them with their age mates. And moving them up two grades was pretty unheard of.

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Last year my son took a class at our local high school. The class started at 7:20 a.m. One of his classmates, on hearing he was homeschooled said, "Oh, that is great! I wish I were homeschooled. Since you are homeschooled, do you get to sleep in every day?" :001_huh:

 

 

 

In the words of the great Bill Engvall, "Here's your sign!"

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OK, I have a whopper. I almost wasn't believing my ears. My son is going away to college and a friend said she was worried about him because someone might want to sell him drugs and since he was homeschooled (even though he has spent the last 3 years going to a local college) she apparently thought he wouldn't know what to do.

 

:confused: Seriously!!!???!!! I simply told her, "He would say 'no' like he would anywhere else. Has nothing to do with educational choices. It is common sense." I was flabbergasted. It isn't like I kept him in a bubble all these years. :blink: There really aren't any smilies that can do this justice.

 

Dh says the proper response to that sort of nonsense is, "Oh no, he'll be fine. We taught him the value of all the monetary denominations and he even knows how to make change, so he'll know if the drug dealer tries to pull one over on him."

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The worst for me so far has been my mother's assumption that ANYTHING at all that isn't perfect about my kids is because we are homeschooling.

 

Bad behavior at the park? It's because they are DESPERATE for the company of other kids.

 

etc. etc. I can't say ANYTHING to my mom about my kids that isn't 100% sunshine & roses without it somehow coming back to a problem with homeschooling.

 

OH MEGAN--- I think our mothers are related! :) My mom is exactly like that. It's sad, yet funny.....she insists she's NOT anti-homeschooling, but every time there's an issue the answer ends up being "send them to public school", which she insists is purely a coincidence.

 

Oh, I love knowing someone else can relate!

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Dh says the proper response to that sort of nonsense is, "Oh no, he'll be fine. We taught him the value of all the monetary denominations and he even knows how to make change, so he'll know if the drug dealer tries to pull one over on him."

 

ROTFL! Where were you when I could barely respond because of the shock?! I wish I could have said this. So funny!!! Well if she brings it up again I'm armed! :lol:

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"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

 

 

:lol::lol::lol: Good one!

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"I couldn't be around my kids all day." Only because you don't discipline them.

 

AMEN!!! I can stand being with my kids because I've worked hard to train them to be people that you want to spend time with!!! If my kids were bratty and misbehaved, then I couldn't imagine spending all day with someone like that. When will people realize that they bear some responsibility for creating kids that are too rotten to spend all day with?

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