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Annoying things non-home schoolers say


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"Well, you're not like most homeschoolers".

 

 

As near as I can tell, the definition of "Most Homeschoolers" is formed by Wife Swap and 19 kids and Counting, and all homeschoolers are either complete non-schoolers or extreme religious fundamentalists who teach only the bible and how to care for children. I can't say I know a single RL homeschooler who fits either stereotype-not even those with large families who consider religion the center of their homeschool or those who consider themselves radical unschoolers. But apparently, they know more than I do about what homeschooling is.

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I hate the ol' rolled-eyes -heavy-sigh and then, "Wow! I don't know how you do it! I could never homeschool!" I roll my eyes (to myself) and think (to myself), "Yes you could! You just don't want to!" And I don't mean that judgementally. I don't have a problem with people not wanting to homeschool. It's fine! Just don't confuse that with not being able to. Because I think that most (get that, most, I don't want to get hung up on the fact that some people really can't) people can indeed homeschool their kids. It's just the ones who don't do it, have chosen not to.

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Nothing new to add. Lots of the socialization crap, er, stuff. Lots of that we can't protect him from bullies (clearly not, but neither could the school and it is not our obligation to feed him to the bullies either). We have also been told that we are depriving the school of our son's excellent test scores and grades. Like my kid exists to drag up their average. Um no. I have a lot of public school teacher friends and the ones below the high school level have indicated that what we are doing is somehow offensive. All of the high school ones are really positive about it though.

 

My brother tried to tell me it was a bad health decision because of the socialization thing. Oddly enough, our flat out amazing pediatrician noticed a difference on his behavior and stress level immediately after we pulled him out of school. So as much as I love my brother, his "medical" opinions mean little to me.

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These are the questions I was asked just in the past couple of weeks while I've been at various stores.

 

What qualifies you to do that?

 

Don't they want to go to college someday?

 

Don't they get bored being home all day long?

 

The first two I can almost excuse but the last one...makes me want to invite them over to try to keep up with what my dc do every day.

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The one I get fairly often is - "I just want to be able to be their mother. I couldn"t do that if I homeschooled." I have even had a dad say the same thing concerning his wife and homeschooling.

 

I had a public school first grade teacher, who mostly has ESL children in her class, that she could never teach her 4 year old because she would never have the patience.

 

Telling my stepsister last year about my second dd's kindergarten graduation, she replied astonishingly, "What she graduating from, she is at home?"

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I get various negative remarks from my stepmom.

 

At the beginning of summer, she was bragging about her daughter's daughter: "She just loves summer because now she gets to read REAL books".

 

Me: "My son gets to read real books all year!"

 

It's like an accepted fact that public school offers inferior literature, but it hasn't quite sunk in that public school isn't better than my son's education!

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The one that stumps me the most is, "What grade is your dd/ds in?"

 

One lady at little league LOL'd at me b/c I didn't know. I had no clue. I kept saying, "He's 9. He's 9." She thought I was a total fool. When her laughter subsided, I politely said, "He doesn't go to school." She said, "Oh." and shut up.

 

We swim upstream about so many things now, I don't get many homeschool comments anymore. :tongue_smilie:

 

Edited by Angie in VA
Fix a typo.
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"You know, you can't protect her from everything all the time.":confused:

 

Um, I never said anything about protecting her. We are EDUCATING her. We can do a better job at home than the PS can. We've already proven that.

 

And yes, in the meantime, she's protected from being immersed in PS culture and the mob mentality; that's part of the education we're trying to avoid.

 

But honestly, you make it sound like we're keeping her under a rock. My kid has more real life experience from hanging around me all day- going to appointments, shopping, meal planning, problem solving, etc.- than she could possibly get being in a room full of her peers every day.

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You are harming them by not taking the whole summer off. Kids need that mental shut-down over the summer.

 

(This is why half the neighborhood is over here this month listening to King Arthur, reading history, practicing multiplication tables, and doing chemistry experiments. I guess I should technically register as a muli-family Homeschool? I wonder if the bump in the PS test scores will be statistically significant?)

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"But how will he ever learn how to do homework?"

 

When my left-handed ADD DS was six, he took an outside Apologia science class. We struggled under the amount of homework the entire year. One of those weeks were I thought we would never see the end of the homework tunnel, my aunt asked how DS would ever learn how to do homework. I think I started bawling, right then and there!

 

 

 

"But I won't have any school pictures to show off."

 

Said by my mom. Every year. Five years now. I send her plenty of other pictures, but they obviously don't count.

On a somewhat related note... My mom buys the school supplies for my brother's children and my niece's children. She always says, "I would buy your son school supplies, but I guess he doesn't need any." :lol:

 

 

 

My favorite - and one DH and I still laugh about. "Why the &%#* would you do that?" Said by none other than my grandmother.

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The worst for me so far has been my mother's assumption that ANYTHING at all that isn't perfect about my kids is because we are homeschooling. Keep in mind that my kids have been at church preschool for the past few years. They finished that in May, and we started homeschooling in June. So they really haven't been "deprived" of "normal school" any more than any other kid yet.

 

Bad behavior at the park? It's because they are DESPERATE for the company of other kids.

 

6 year olds who are oblivious to their developmental delays? (Supposedly this is a problem.) If they went to school, the other kids would laugh at them and that would really motivate them to work hard to catch up.

 

My child who has some borderline serious anxiety issues? It's because we homeschool. Pushing her out into public school would supposedly build her confidence! (And of course they want me to put her in a separate classroom from her identical twin sister even though they aren't dependent on each other at all other than wanting the other to be in the same room all the time.)

 

We haven't been to church since June because they don't have children's worship in the summer, and I just can't keep 4 little kids calm & quietly sitting for 1 1/2 hours. If I was sending them to public kindergarten in the fall, they would learn to sit for hours.

 

etc. etc. I can't say ANYTHING to my mom about my kids that isn't 100% sunshine & roses without it somehow coming back to a problem with homeschooling.

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From my MIL: how will they learn to cope if they aren't ever bullied?

 

My SIL (who is millitary): Oh, I know all about homeschooling, it is very common in the millitary. I've never seen it be successful

 

From a friend: You really should send your boys to the neighborhood school because it is really lousy and my boys are lonely there. If your boys went there would be two kids there who are like them.

 

Same friend: You are depriving the rest of the community by not allowing your very smart and well raised kids to be a good influence in the schools. if you really cared about our country you would put them in school and put all the energy that you use homeschooling into improving our school system.

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"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

 

 

:smilielol5:

Love it!

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OK, I have a whopper. I almost wasn't believing my ears. My son is going away to college and a friend said she was worried about him because someone might want to sell him drugs and since he was homeschooled (even though he has spent the last 3 years going to a local college) she apparently thought he wouldn't know what to do.

 

:confused: Seriously!!!???!!! I simply told her, "He would say 'no' like he would anywhere else. Has nothing to do with educational choices. It is common sense." I was flabbergasted. It isn't like I kept him in a bubble all these years. :blink: There really aren't any smilies that can do this justice.

 

:eek: :blink:

Seriously just dropped my jaw. Then I had a good LOL moment!

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The one that stumps me the most is, "What grade is your dd/ds in?"

 

One lady at little league LOL'd at me b/c I didn't know. I had no clue. I kept saying, "He's 9. He's 9." She thought I was a total fool. When her laughter subsided, I potitley said, "He doesn't go to school." She said, "Oh." and shut up.

 

We swim upstream about so many things now, I don't get many homeschool comments anymore. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

LOLOL! I JUST had this conversation with a friend this morning. Thankfully she is also an (ungrading) homeschool mom so she totally understood when I got a blank look on my face and after a long "Ummmmmmm", started counting on my fingers to figure out what grade they would be in based on their ages!

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OH... I forgot this one and I replied PERFECTLY to her!!!

 

"why would you homeschool when you can send your children to public school for free??" Looked at her kinder and said, "You get what you pay for!" and walked away!

 

Never felt so proud! is that bad??? Good grief. I homeschool because I WANT TO!

 

Hilarious. Love your response!

 

I've heard the opposite. When the cashier at the grocery store heard I homeschool, she said, "Oh! That's probably A LOT cheaper than sending them to public school. You don't have to buy school clothes or supplies.":001_huh:

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The really crazy thing to me is that while we have to fight to defend our choices to certain family members, the few public school teachers I know well are all totally supportive, and excited even, over our choice to homeschool.

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So are you going to send them to public school this year? Um, no, why would I? What we are doing works great for us. As opposed to the one year my son spent in public school where he learned very little.

 

So do you get your textbooks and stuff from the schoolboard? Good gracious, no, what a pile of dust-gathering mess that would be.

 

So are you going to homeschool [insert child's best friend's name] too? Um, no, just because he's at my house frequently playing does not mean I am taking responsibility for his education. He has his own parents, thank you.

 

Were you a teacher before? Nope. And before I became a mom the first time, I had never breastfed, changed diapers, or potty trained anyone either but my son seems to have survived baby and toddlerhood quite well, don't you think?

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Years ago when my oldest was young a woman asked her very rudely Shouldn't you be in school? So my quick little girl answered, Shouldn't you be at work? That is our standard answer now for anyone who asks this. I hate rude people who think their ideas are the only right ideas.

 

That is one smart little girl you had -- obviously homeschooled.:)

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The really crazy thing to me is that while we have to fight to defend our choices to certain family members, the few public school teachers I know well are all totally supportive, and excited even, over our choice to homeschool.

 

Ha. So far this has been our experience as well. A bit of a pleasant surprise.

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"You must really love your kids"

"I can't do it, I hate being around my kids all the time, I obviously don't love them enough".

 

Ugh! We are just at the beginning of our journey as our eldest is 5 but I get versions of this every day. "You must be so patient!"

Actually, no. Not patient in the slightest. It's a huge character flaw. I'm working on it but getting my night owl, slow to move in the morning, bear with a sore head when she's woken too early child up and ready to leave for school in the morning would NOT be an ideal way to work on it!

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This doesn't exactly answer the question but... the other day we went to a cookout at my parents' house and a friend of theirs, after talking to my son, said "Oh, he's five! He's going to be starting SCHOOL!" And my mom said "Well, he's school AGE."

 

Thanks for that, Mom.

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also said to me by my sister, "Is there anyone who will make sure you are teaching them the stuff they need to know?"

 

I like to follow this one with: "Our state remains land of the free and home of the brave!"

 

I love the "Shouldn't you be at work?" comment. So, so, so funny!

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You are harming them by not taking the whole summer off. Kids need that mental shut-down over the summer.

 

(This is why half the neighborhood is over here this month listening to King Arthur, reading history, practicing multiplication tables, and doing chemistry experiments. I guess I should technically register as a muli-family Homeschool? I wonder if the bump in the PS test scores will be statistically significant?)

 

Ho Ho that is a good one! :)

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When the cashier at the grocery store heard I homeschool, she said, "Oh! That's probably A LOT cheaper than sending them to public school. You don't have to buy school clothes or supplies.":001_huh:

 

:lol: Yup! They run around naked and I make 'em write in the dirt w/ their fingers! :D

 

The one I always get is after finding out I homeschool:

"Oh that's nice. But you WILL send them to school for high school RIGHT?"

Uh...not planning on it, but thanks for the confidence. ;)

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But isn't that incredibly difficult (well my DD is only in K so I think I can figure out how to teach her her letters since I do have a law degree) :glare:

 

You have to let go of them sometime (yes and when I do I want to be sure they are well educated and able to stand on their own two feet and make wise decisions)

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OK, I have a whopper. I almost wasn't believing my ears. My son is going away to college and a friend said she was worried about him because someone might want to sell him drugs and since he was homeschooled (even though he has spent the last 3 years going to a local college) she apparently thought he wouldn't know what to do.

 

:confused: Seriously!!!???!!! I simply told her, "He would say 'no' like he would anywhere else. Has nothing to do with educational choices. It is common sense." I was flabbergasted. It isn't like I kept him in a bubble all these years. :blink: There really aren't any smilies that can do this justice.

My sister talks about this a lot. Comments like, "I know he (my ds) wants to live in NY some day, but I don't know how he'll handle it after being in that bubble for so long." Grrr........what bubble? Like school is anything like the real world? Puhleez.

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The one that stumps me the most is, "What grade is your dd/ds in?"

 

One lady at little league LOL'd at me b/c I didn't know. I had no clue. I kept saying, "He's 9. He's 9." She thought I was a total fool. When her laughter subsided, I potitley said, "He doesn't go to school." She said, "Oh." and shut up.

 

We swim upstream about so many things now, I don't get many homeschool comments anymore. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I know I have come across looking like the biggest fool, kind of laughing and saying things like "I don't know. Maybe.....3rd??" I've finally picked grades and just say them. Only problem is ds doesn't agree with the grade I picked, so I guess we might each tell the same person something different. :D Btw, I have had this conversation at more than one baseball game.

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After one of our principals got arrested on child porn charges I doubt I will have to justify my decision. Never thought that would come in handy:tongue_smilie:

 

The public schools here are doing a great job of justifying homeschooling here, too-between the "threatening not to start on time" and the "We're going to give up our charter to the county district" (which has several suburbs threatening to set up their own school systems), some of my friends think I'm psychic for pulling out a year ago :).

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"Do you use any books?"

 

 

Sure, I need *something* to throw at them when they are slow getting my bonbons! :lol:

 

You guys are cracking me up. :D

 

In my exp, my fav was on a family vacation at a touristy town in April, "Gee, no kids must come here." Um, honey, that's because they're in school. :D

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"What? No school today?" (becasue apparently learning only happens under strict supervision.)

 

I have allowed my children to respond to the pushier strangers asking this question with "I am in school, and you're talking in class".

 

Love this!

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"I don't do that because I support public schools." (I am amused by the mental image of government school being some kind of pagan god that wants to be fed children.)

 

Yes!! :lol:

 

I get a lot of, "I don't know how you do it."

 

I hate that because to me it seems like inside they're thinking, "and I bet you can't really do it either."

 

So I know I'm not being complimented.

 

Alley

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The really crazy thing to me is that while we have to fight to defend our choices to certain family members, the few public school teachers I know well are all totally supportive, and excited even, over our choice to homeschool.

 

:iagree:

 

I expected flack when I told my DD's public PreK teachers we would be homeschooling from now on and they didn't bat an eyelid even though homeschooling is still relatively uncommon in Australia. One teacher even asked if I wanted her unused curriculum and teacher resources that she was done with (which I did because we have to loosely follow state standards here).

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"You know, you can't protect her from everything all the time.":confused:

 

Um, I never said anything about protecting her. We are EDUCATING her. We can do a better job at home than the PS can. We've already proven that.

 

And yes, in the meantime, she's protected from being immersed in PS culture and the mob mentality; that's part of the education we're trying to avoid.

 

But honestly, you make it sound like we're keeping her under a rock. My kid has more real life experience from hanging around me all day- going to appointments, shopping, meal planning, problem solving, etc.- than she could possibly get being in a room full of her peers every day.

Alright, I need to stop commenting to each post, but this. Yes, yes, yes. I have heard this from my mom so many times. As if my decision to hs is completely about protecting my dc. And of course, otoh, um yeah, why not to some extent. It is my job to protect my dc. Which doesn't mean overprotecting, but really hsing doesn't mean they are by my side all day.

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I love the area I'm in. Just today our librarian asked my oldest when school starts. After she was informed we homeschool she said, "oh? Which curriculum did you choose?" :D

 

 

All of our librarians have been very supportive of our choice to homeschool. They really help us out! I love them!!!!

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Another one by my sister (different sister), "______ (my niece) asks us to homeschool her sometimes, but she won't let us teach her anything. She doesn't like anyone to teach her." Then how is it working in school??

 

 

Another baseball game a mom said to me, "I could never homeschool because _________ doesn't listen to me." Um, my kids don't listen to me either.:001_smile:

 

 

Love the bonbon comment.:lol:

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The people who have the most negative feelings about homeschooling are the same ones who constantly complain about the state of our public schools and how terrible their kids' educations are. I will never get this!

 

One of my best friends was complaining about her SIL who homeschools (before she knew I was going to homeschool). She was saying that they all act in plays professionally and are on the road a lot. They only spend a few hours a day homeschooling and there is no way they are learning. I really don't think that people get the fact that things go much more quickly when you are getting individual attention and not dealing with a large group of children all day!

 

The other day someone said, "But he won't get to ride the bus!" :auto:

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