Does your child's need for a nap dictate your schedule?

[joannqn]

My first two were very flexible as far as their schedule went. When they were stroller-age, they simply fell asleep in their stroller when tired, and we went on with whatever we were doing.

 

My four year old, though, is a nightmare if he doesn't get his nap. Unfortunately, he doesn't want to take a nap so that's a battle in itself. But if we happen to be busy and away from home during the afternoon and misses his nap, he totally melts down...totally defiant yelling, screaming, stomping, slamming doors, even hitting. Ugh!

 

But I really don't want our outings confined to before lunch. By the time we're dressed, fed, and cleaned up breakfast, we'd only have about two hours to get out, do what we're doing, and get home. Then there would be lunch followed by his nap, which usually lasts about two hours. By the time he wakes up, we can't go anywhere because I have to start dinner.

 

Is there any alternative between being confined to home and total meltdown?

[Joanne]

At 4? I'd wean him from naps. Yes, it will be a tortuous few days.

[5LittleMonkeys]

If you know you are planning an outing for the afternoon could you get him to rest in the morning or for an hour right before it is time to go out?

 

My ds5 still needs a nap once in a while so if we are planning a busy afternoon I make him have a rest time before hand. He sometimes will fall asleep, especially if he has had a very busy morning but sometimes he will just lay quietly in his bed with an audio book or music or I'll let him lay in my bed (big treat) and watch a video on my laptop. I make sure it's a low key video; nothing loud, flashy, or tense. Thomas the Tank Engine works well.

 

All dc are different and have such different sleep needs. My 1st and 3rd stopped taking a nap at 3 and never had any problems with getting cranky in the afternoon, whereas my 2nd needed a nap until she was about 5.5 and that seems to be how it is going to be for ds5 too.

[sbgrace]

I had a child very affected by lack of naps. He's still affected by missed sleep. The transition period where one nap was too much but lack of one not enough with him was very rough. He was two at that time and until then I did work around the nap as much as I could but that was easier with two the same age. I envied friends whose kids could sleep in the car, stroller, etc. I feel for you. His brother was so much easier in sleep. I think only someone with a child that affected could understand rearranging a day to try to avoid missing a nap.

 

Can he go to bed really early on missed nap days? Can he shift the nap time up or down at all?

[kitten18]

*I* would do everything possible to get him a nap.

[Mellee]

I'm generally of the thought that I would do everything in my power to feed a hungry child and give a nap to a child that needs sleep...drives my in-laws crazy when I ask them to work their visits around sleep needs but hey they live 3 miles away and try to visit daily ;-)

Our first 2 slept anywhere anytime, easy-peasy...#3 is giving us a run for our money...nap MUST be on-time and in his bed or he is misearable and honestly it breaks my heart that he feels so bad that he melts down.

#1 leaves for college in Aug so I know this time will go by quickly and try not to let the daily schedule buster naps get me down...sorry your lil guy needs his sleep on his terms, it is rougher on the whole family that way

[Aggie]

*I* would do everything possible to get him a nap.

 

I'm generally of the thought that I would do everything in my power to feed a hungry child and give a nap to a child that needs sleep...drives my in-laws crazy when I ask them to work their visits around sleep needs but hey they live 3 miles away and try to visit daily ;-)

Our first 2 slept anywhere anytime, easy-peasy...#3 is giving us a run for our money...nap MUST be on-time and in his bed or he is misearable and honestly it breaks my heart that he feels so bad that he melts down.

#1 leaves for college in Aug so I know this time will go by quickly and try not to let the daily schedule buster naps get me down...sorry your lil guy needs his sleep on his terms, it is rougher on the whole family that way

 

 

Ditto.

 

Some 5yos still need a nap so it's no surprise that a 4yo does.

 

I remember those days when, like you, we had a 2 hr window to get out of the house if I wanted to leave after lunch. It was tough, but there are few things worse than a tired, cranky child.:grouphug:

 

Does your 2yo still nap?

[GardenTenders/Kim]

My almost 4 yr old still needs naps, though some days she refuses but she does much better in the evenings if she has one.

 

I know a lot of people that do arrange their day around naps, sometimes you have to. I try to do things about 10ish and then home about lunch time to 1 o'clock and start the rest ritual. Sometimes she naps sometimes she just plays quietly. His body may just need more rest and if you aren't fighting to get a nap, I would say he needs the sleep. Give him what his body needs. Sleep deprivation is a bad thing.

[wapiti]

If there's not going to be a nap, there needs to be an early bedtime, head on the pillow at 7:00.

 

ETA: also don't underestimate the importance of a regular sleep schedule, same times every day. But to answer your original question, yes I schedule everything around naps. However, my kids don't do well napping after 3 y.o., because then they fall asleep too late at night, which shortens the continuous overnight sleep. There's usually an ugly phase around 3.5 y.o., but by 4 they're over it. The early bedtime is key, however!

 

That's my two cents :)

Edited July 6, 2011 by wapiti

[joannqn]

My 2 year old usually wants to nap at 10am and 5pm-ish. But she handles missing or delaying better...not as well as the older two did at her age, but better. She'll fall sleep in the car and the catnap will keep her going a bit longer until I can sit down and nurse her. Josh falls asleep in the car, but he wakes up poorly if he doesn't get a full, long nap.

 

Josh fights naps and bedtime with everything he has no matter what time it is. I think he's afraid he'll miss out if he sleeps. He also doesn't like to be alone; he'll fight it less if I can nap with him but that's hard with a 2 year old to look after.

 

The other problem is that he is an extrovert with no friends.

 

He REALLY wants some friends, but we won't find any by sitting home all day every day to accommodate his nap schedule. My older kids don't have local friends either. My goal in getting out is to find friends, or at the very least, spend time around other kids. Everyone is pretty lonely.

 

This is the first year since I've started homeschooling 7 years ago that I wish I could put them in public school and feel good about it.

[GardenTenders/Kim]

Mine fights naps and bedtime too unless she is dog tired so I know what you feel. Also by 1 mine was down to one nap a day.

 

I don't worry about an early bedtime myself. Daddy doesn't get home until almost 7 and they need time together so our bedtime is generally about 9-9:30. Her favorite nap time is about 3 pm and then will nap a bit more than an hr. I generally make sure she is up by 5pm and she still will fall asleep about 9 or 9:30. No nap and she is ready by 8. I am lucky I guess though, our wake up time is about 8:30-9am. Sometimes I wish we could have a 7 am wake up so we could get started on our day earlier, but the trade off would be no daddy time at night.

 

Poor little guy though, keeping up is hard. :) Those big kids might do something 100% fun and he might miss out.... or that's what he thinks. Anyway to convince them to have quiet time at the same time that he needs a nap?

[joannqn]

The kids go to bed at 9pm and get half an hour of reading time in bed. Ideally, he'd go to bed at 9pm but he shares a room with an older sibling. I haven't figured out a way to make him sleep while his brother reads.

 

All of the kids are awake before I am almost every day. Josh often gets in trouble for making too much noise and waking me up. I wish he'd sleep longer!

[joannqn]

Anyway to convince them to have quiet time at the same time that he needs a nap?

 

I might be able to convince the older kids but not my youngest; she naps around 10am so she's wide awake.

[GardenTenders/Kim]

All of the kids are awake before I am almost every day. Josh often gets in trouble for making too much noise and waking me up. I wish he'd sleep longer!

 

Somehow I am imagine the older kids telling your younger son to be quiet so Mom can sleep. LOL ;) You could try just pushing through nap time, and making him an earlier bed time, but I 100% understand you need family time etc. not everyone can have the ideal 7 pm bed time, I know I wish we did... but as I said if we did, there would be no daddy time and the times when DH has been late from work for a stretch of several days she has CLUNG to him and cried eventually to stay up. the fight isn't in me.:)

[joannqn]

What usually happens in the morning is he stands at the top of the stairs talking in that loud voice of his to someone downstairs. Often he is arguing with someone. My bedroom door is immediately adjacent to the stairs. Then when I stumble out of bed, he asks me, "Mommy, did I wake you up?" Uh, how could I sleep through that?

[GardenTenders/Kim]

:lol:

 

If mine wakes up early, I just hope she wakes me up! :lol: She has gotten up really early before (I go to bed late because of our late hrs) and I have woken up to chocolate frosting all over the coffee table before and she has made Ollie --our furbaby-- a lunch meat birthday cake with a whole package of DH's lunch meat. LOL Now we have a rule that she remembers if I'm not awake on those rare mornings to wake mommy up. I try to be up by 7:30ish though. Gives me time to watch some news before she gets up. :001_smile:

[Pamela H in Texas]

JMO....

 

If your 2yo was in daycare, she would nap once and would have been doing so for over a year in most centers. As soon as we got our almost 17month old (a little over a month ago), I started him on one nap per day. There are definitely times he's tired before lunch; but all but twice, he's made it.

 

The other thing I would do would be to get the two and four year olds down for the night by 7:30 (ETA: and if they seem more energetic about that time, try 6:45 or 7...gotta catch them before the 2nd wind). They will be solidly asleep before the older children go to bed and the reading won't be an issue. But then they'll be getting enough sleep at night (because they are most likely going to wake up at the same time regardless) that they won't need as much sleep during the day.

 

You'll be down to ONE nap time though it will likely be shorter for the 4yr old than the 2 yr old once they get used to it. They will be getting more quality sleep AND your schedule won't be as problematic. You'll have all the time between 7am and noon to do whatever you want.

 

ETA: I think it is better that the family is up early. However, I definitely think it would be good if you worked on the respect issue also. There should be okay activities to do before mom gets up (and obviously squabbling and hollering wouldn't be in that list). And everyone should be helping everyone follow those rules. My kids are 1, 3, 4, and 5. The ones share a room get up at the same time AFTER there is someone big in the main part of the house to receive them. Usually there are some hushed tones, whispers, and a scout involved. It's really cute. I remember doing similarly with my brother.

Edited July 6, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[Peela]

Yes, my life revolved around my kids' naps- but I didn't have older kids- that would have been inconvenient, I can see.

 

Now, my life revolves around *my* naps and I generally don't do/plan anything in the afternoons. I get up early and anything that needs doing gets done in the mornings.

 

I have always been a bit sleep obsessed for both the kids and I. I will go to quite an extent to arrange our lives to get enough sleep.

[LaxMom]

Yes, my life revolved around my kids' naps- but I didn't have older kids- that would have been inconvenient, I can see.

 

Now, my life revolves around *my* naps and I generally don't do/plan anything in the afternoons. I get up early and anything that needs doing gets done in the mornings.

 

I have always been a bit sleep obsessed for both the kids and I. I will go to quite an extent to arrange our lives to get enough sleep.

 

That's us, too. After lunch is "quiet time". I dont mind if they read, but there is no playing, no noise. Most of the time we all fall asleep for an hour or so.

[In The Great White North]

Dc's sleep schedule totally dictated our life for years. Mine quit napping fairly young, but went to bed really early (6-7) til they were about 10 and 8ish til 9th grade. In the winter, when it was dark early and dh wasn't coming home for dinner, they sometimes went to bed at 5:30! (They slept til 6 no matter what time they went to bed.) My youngest, at 14, still needs about 12 hours of sleep a day.

 

I agree with the pp who recommended getting them all on the same nap schedule if at all possible. It will make your life a lot easier and give you more of a window for other activities.

[TheCoffeeChick]

Just a thought about early risers .... It may sound backwards, but I find that when my dc consistently go to bed early, they sleep in later than if they are up past 8:30. I think they just get better sleep when they can get to bed on time. For us it's 7:30 for dd and lights out at 8:30 for ds. Dd starts to get whiny if she's not in bed by then.

[2squared]

If there's not going to be a nap, there needs to be an early bedtime, head on the pillow at 7:00.

 

ETA: also don't underestimate the importance of a regular sleep schedule, same times every day. But to answer your original question, yes I schedule everything around naps. However, my kids don't do well napping after 3 y.o., because then they fall asleep too late at night, which shortens the continuous overnight sleep. There's usually an ugly phase around 3.5 y.o., but by 4 they're over it. The early bedtime is key, however!

 

:iagree:

 

If your 2yo was in daycare, she would nap once and would have been doing so for over a year in most centers.

 

The other thing I would do would be to get the two and four year olds down for the night by 7:30. They will be solidly asleep before the older children go to bed and the reading won't be an issue. But then they'll be getting enough sleep at night (because they are most likely going to wake up at the same time regardless) that they won't need as much sleep during the day.

 

:iagree:

 

My life has revolved around nap schedules for over 9 years.

 

Adequate sleep at the right times = well behaved children

Well behaved children = good relationship with mom and siblings

Good relationships = happy, loving family

[Murmer]

Yep, in my house naps are non negotiable...although we are reaching dd's weaning time, and yes it means I am very limited to what I can do...I get about 3 hours in the morning after daddy leaves and then about 1 hour after lunch. Then it is naptime until like 4 pm for my 2 year old so we just don't go or do in the afternoons...but that naptime is so worth it because otherwise dd is a BEAST.

[TheCoffeeChick]

That wasn't the case for us. I have my kids go to bed later so they don't get up at 4 am. I have one who would do that if he went to bed early. He goes to bed at 9 and probably falls asleep around 10. He is up before 8.

 

Yikes! 4 am is a bit early! :tongue_smilie:

 

Sleeping in at our house is anything later than 6 for ds...he is and always has been a early bird. I am too, but I wish he would sleep in till 7 though so I could have my alone time. If goes to bed later than 9, I can count on him getting between 5 and 5:30. Guess it just goes to show that everyone's sleeping patterns are different. If keeping him up late would ensure him sleeping in later, I'd move his bedtime back in a heartbeat!

Edited July 6, 2011 by BramFam

[Momof3littles]

Yep, we schedule around nap time. My kids are 7, 4.5 and 15 months. My oldest stopped napping around age 3 (I encouraged him dropping the nap as he was routinely up until 10-11pm when he napped. Pleasant, happy, cooperative, and just not tired at all). I encouraged my DD to drop the nap around age 3 but she would have rocky afternoons. We have quiet time when the baby goes down for his nap, and she falls asleep about 1/3 of the time I'd say. Thankfully she will still go to bed by about 9 if she naps, so not quite as much of a problem as it was with my son.

 

I am a pretty laid-back mom on a lot of things but keeping the nap regular and predictable makes my life easier. Once they get off schedule (traveling, etc.) I always want to rip my hair out because things just get crazy for us.

 

I do look forward to the day when we move past naptime. Some parents are sad to see it go, but I look forward to the freedom. It will have been nearly a decade of being tied to the nap, so I'll be ready :D

 

Right now I'm even limited in that if we don't get out of the house ASAP in the morning, the baby falls asleep in the car on the way home. My kids have never transferred well (don't stay asleep if I carry them in) and the car nap is often a shorter nap (an hour max, sometimes shorter).

[katilac]

I think I would work towards eliminating the nap and making bedtime much earlier. Some kids do need a nap at 4 and 5, but I'm betting he could skip it if he had a longer night time sleep (which is also much more beneficial, imo, than too little sleep at night and then a nap). And I'd get the 2-yr-old on one nap.

 

Re sharing a room, I would consider a couple of things:

 

*put him to bed early enough that he is sleeping by the time big brother arrives

 

*have big brother do his reading in another room, and then just go to bed

 

*consider putting the two littles to sleep at the same time in the same room, and then move the toddler (if it won't wake her)

 

9.30 is quite a late bedtime for a preschooler, imo. Some kids do just fine with a later bedtime, but others have big issues with it - - they miss their best 'window of opportunity' for falling asleep, and/or they rise early even if they stay up late. I think life might get much easier if you get the littles on an earlier bedtime. *most* younger children do better with an earlier sleep cycle, ime.

 

You have my sympathies. My kids have always had sleep issues, and it can be very hard to figure out the best way to address them. And just when you do figure it out, everything changes :tongue_smilie:

[amo_mea_filiis.]

We will always be held to our sleep routines. Ds goes to bed at 6:30, weeknights and weekends. We can't do a lot of activities because they are scheduled so late. He even stayed home from school the day after his concert because it ran until 9.

 

If he goes to bed at 6:30, he gets up at 6. If he goes to bed at 11, he gets up at 6. Kids need 10-12+ hours of sleep, so we skip all evening activities and go to bed.

[vonfirmath]

The kids go to bed at 9pm and get half an hour of reading time in bed. Ideally, he'd go to bed at 9pm but he shares a room with an older sibling. I haven't figured out a way to make him sleep while his brother reads.

 

All of the kids are awake before I am almost every day. Josh often gets in trouble for making too much noise and waking me up. I wish he'd sleep longer!

 

My almost 4-year old usually naps 11:30a-2:00p (Min 1-1/2 hour. Can go up to 3 hours depending on how the morning went). His bedtime is 8:30p and he wakes up at 6am without an alarm no matter what time he went to sleep the night before.

 

We were on vacation this last weekend and he managed to stay up until 3p because we were out and about (he's very social and people energize him), but was starting to get cranky so we cut short the rest of the planned activities to take him home to nap. He napped 3:30p-5:30p and then got up to eat, play in the hotel pool, and went back down to sleep at 9p that night. Was up at 6a the next morning (sigh)

[Mom-ninja.]

After reading the book Sleepless in America I am absolutely convinced that children need sleep and as a parent it's my job to make sure they get it.

 

I now make sleep a priority and all else falls by the way side. That includes sleep for me!

 

My first child would sleep any where. My other two not at all. I do plan our day around my toddler's naps. For example we only go to half day to co-op so we can be home for nap time. Yes, the older boys miss some fun classes, but such is life. This stage won't last forever.

 

The Dr. who did my son's surgery told me that at age 6 it's still a good idea for children to nap, and after that for children to have quiet time in a darkened room each day. He says he sees way too many sleep deprived kids.

Edited July 6, 2011 by Kleine Hexe

[historically accurate]

I schedule naps regularly. I have a 9 yo, who dropped a nap at age 3, but she is required to have BOB (books on bed) time daily. I have an almost 6 yo, who needs a nap still. She falls asleep 3/4 of the time during BOB time. I also have a 4 year old, who would like to drop her nap, but must stay on her bed during BOB time. She falls asleep about 1/2 of the time.

 

BOB time is from 1 - 2:30 in my house, then there is 1/2 hour where they can play quietly, so I get 2 hours free time during the day. Yes, we do very few afternoon activities/errands.

[fairfarmhand]

I'd try to wean him off naps or get the 2 yo and he on the same schedule.

 

WRT the brothers sharing bedroom, could one not fall asleep in mom and dad's bed and then be moved?

 

or I'd have big brother do his reading someplace else.

[UmMusa]

My first two were very flexible as far as their schedule went. When they were stroller-age, they simply fell asleep in their stroller when tired, and we went on with whatever we were doing.

 

My four year old, though, is a nightmare if he doesn't get his nap. Unfortunately, he doesn't want to take a nap so that's a battle in itself. But if we happen to be busy and away from home during the afternoon and misses his nap, he totally melts down...totally defiant yelling, screaming, stomping, slamming doors, even hitting. Ugh!

 

But I really don't want our outings confined to before lunch. By the time we're dressed, fed, and cleaned up breakfast, we'd only have about two hours to get out, do what we're doing, and get home. Then there would be lunch followed by his nap, which usually lasts about two hours. By the time he wakes up, we can't go anywhere because I have to start dinner.

 

Is there any alternative between being confined to home and total meltdown?

My schedule always was dictated by my little ones' naps. I didn't like it, but the alternative was not worth it. Like you said, I had the morning hours free, but after breakfast and dressing not much would be left. Then you have to get lunch ready, eat it, clean up after it, and get child in naptime. If they wake up at 2 or 3pm you really don't have too many more hours till you need to be home working on dinner.

 

This type of schedule, to me, what kind of inevitable, and defined my life with babies and toddlers. When my 4th one came along it was so hard to keep to this confining routine b/c of the olders' activities. Still, we stuck to it most of the time. I also never went out in evenings b/c my kids were always in bed around 7:30 or 8pm.

 

to be honest, though, by age 4 we weren't in that routine anymore. My 2 1/2 yr old could miss a nap these days but she'll knock out in the car or be a miserable case by 6pm. I try to get her to nap but it doesn't always work. By age 4 none of them took naps. Maybe an earlier bedtime would help your lil guy?

[wapiti]

The other thing I would do would be to get the two and four year olds down for the night by 7:30 (ETA: and if they seem more energetic about that time, try 6:45 or 7...gotta catch them before the 2nd wind). They will be solidly asleep before the older children go to bed and the reading won't be an issue. But then they'll be getting enough sleep at night (because they are most likely going to wake up at the same time regardless) that they won't need as much sleep during the day.

 

:iagree: In our house, my 3 y.o. ds shares with 10 y.o. dd, and 5 y.o. ds shares with 8 y.o. ds and 8 y.o. ds. The little ones go to bed around 7 or so, and are asleep before the big kids go to bed (8 or so). If reading in the room disturbs that, then I'd have them read elsewhere, such as the living room or family room. In our house, the big kids even brush teeth in the downstairs bathroom, so as not to disturb the sleeping ones upstairs (this wouldn't be necessary if there weren't talking/fighting during the task :glare:). I find that when the little ones share a room, they talk/laugh/play and keep each other from getting to sleep, so for now this is the arrangement that gets them the most sleep. (For a long time, my almost-2 y.o. dd could not sleep with anyone else, but I'm hoping to shake up the bedroom arrangement soon, so we'll see. One ds8 voluntarily started sleeping in the basement guest room the other day - apparently his brother's snoring is more annoying than the basement is scary.)

 

For sleep schedule studies, advice, etc., I highly recommend Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Sometimes there's only so much you can do, if their natural sleep cycle has them waking early; better to get them to bed early, or they may end up deprived of a lot of sleep. The "right" sleep times for a young one are not always easy to determine. Often sacrifices have to be made (such as coming home earlier from outings, older siblings inconvienced, etc.). To paraphrase Weissbluth, once sleep is missed, it's lost forever.

[DawnM]

I haven't had to deal with naps for quite some time and when I did, I was working full time and they were in daycare/preschool.

 

My now 7 year old didn't nap after he turned 3. Now, he would still sometimes fall asleep in the car if we had been out, but he wouldnt' go down for a nap.

 

I wouldn't let naps dictate my schedule.

 

Dawn

[ChristusG]

We definitely have NEVER been tied to our children's nap schedules. And that's exactly how I wanted it. If we were on vacation, or running errands, or at family's house, I didn't want to have to stop everything for the sake of a nap. My kids learned very early on to just fall asleep whenever they were tired and whenever the needed sleep. If we were at Wal-Mart and they were tired, they fell asleep. Same for in the car. Or at friend's houses. Or in the middle of Disney World and having the time of their lives. If their bodies needed sleep, they just slept.

 

For a four year old, I'd probably try to drop the nap. I have a four year old who doesn't nap anymore.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

My kids all desperately needed their naps. Older ds just stopped taking naps around his fifth birthday. He still takes them occasionally when he is extra tired or sick. Afternoon is just a harder time for my kids and I avoid doing things at that time whenever possible. No reason to make life harder than it needs to be for my kids. In my opinion, it's just asking them to misbehave.

[Guest]

Naptime was sacred time here. Granted, I didn't have older kids.

 

My kids all desperately needed their naps. Older ds just stopped taking naps around his fifth birthday. He still takes them occasionally when he is extra tired or sick. Afternoon is just a harder time for my kids and I avoid doing things at that time whenever possible. No reason to make life harder than it needs to be for my kids. In my opinion, it's just asking them to misbehave.

 

:iagree:

[Impish]

Naptime was sacred time here. Granted, I didn't have older kids.

Here too. Man, I can remember MIL spazzing b/c we left when naptime was coming or bedtime. Wolf was even more stringent about it that I was. I think for him, it was an excuse to escape though :lol:

 

Missing naptime just wasn't worth the h*ll that would come.

[2squared]

But I really don't want our outings confined to before lunch. By the time we're dressed, fed, and cleaned up breakfast, we'd only have about two hours to get out, do what we're doing, and get home. Then there would be lunch followed by his nap, which usually lasts about two hours. By the time he wakes up, we can't go anywhere because I have to start dinner.

 

Is there any alternative between being confined to home and total meltdown?

 

This won't be what you want to hear, but you could have more time in the morning. I'm not sure what time you are done with getting dressed, fed, and breakfast now, but it seems rather late. If the kids are getting up before you, they are ready earlier in the day. Our best days are when I get up before the kids and have breakfast waiting for them. With only an hour in the morning, I can jump-start my day: breakfast made, dinner meat thawing, shower & dressed, bed made, laundry running, and email checked.

 

We run most of our errands in the morning or between afternoon nap and dinner. If I have dinner prepped and in the crockpot, my afternoon is open to errands and activities.

[redsquirrel]

Both my boys were like this. I have spent years chained to the house after 1pm.

 

Now they are 11 and 6 and it's much, much easier. But I am still home at dinner time and don't go out. My 6 year old starts to fall apart at 6:30.

 

If your youngest is 4, then it will be over soon. I would just go with it and get him the sleep he needs. I did wean my youngest off naps at about 4 years old because he was having trouble falling asleep at bedtime. It didn't make my life any easier. First of all, it wasn't a few days of hell, it was about a year. He got fragile around 4pm and stayed that way until bedtime at 7. He stayed that way well into his 5th year. Second, just because I didn't let him nap didn't mean I could leave the house. If I put him in the car he was asleep before I hit the first stop sign. I live on one house down from a corner, just to make it clear. If he fell asleep, that meant that bedtime would be terrible, he wouldn't fall asleep for over an hour but would wake up at his usual time, only be an hour short of sleep. That meant he was even more cranky then next day.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

My 2yo has to have his nap starting at 2:30 and goes until 6:00 (if we let him) but I try to wake him by 5:00. But when I do that, I have to hold him for about 30 minutes. So I am very rigid about when we leave the house and when we'll be back. We have to plan our visits with my in-laws (the live 5 minutes away) around that.

 

Sorry, I don't think that was helpful, but you're not alone :grouphug:

[Terabith]

I would stop letting the 2 year old nap at 10 am. She should not need two naps at that age. I'd aim for them both to have a nap around 1 or 2 pm or so.

[Tohru]

:grouphug:

 

Yep. Sleep and a full belly should be priorities.

 

We schedule outings once a week between 9am-noon. Dd naps from about 12:45-2:30 or 3pm. Sometimes we also invite other people over from 3pm-5pm.

 

If we *must* go out after dd's nap, I make sure it is a crockpot night.

 

It's a phase. He'll grow out of it soon.

:grouphug:

[Tohru]

I would stop letting the 2 year old nap at 10 am. She should not need two naps at that age. I'd aim for them both to have a nap around 1 or 2 pm or so.

 

I completely disagree.

Every child is different and has different sleep needs. My dd had two 1-hour naps until she was about 2 1/2 or so, then moved to one 2-3hr nap once a day.

[Emmy]

The kids go to bed at 9pm and get half an hour of reading time in bed. Ideally, he'd go to bed at 9pm but he shares a room with an older sibling. I haven't figured out a way to make him sleep while his brother reads.

 

All of the kids are awake before I am almost every day. Josh often gets in trouble for making too much noise and waking me up. I wish he'd sleep longer!

 

I haven't read through the whole thread but IMO that's a really late bedtime for a 4yo, I'm not surprised he needs a nap.

 

We have kids sharing rooms too and how we handle it is to put the youngers to bed early and let the olders read on my bed until it's time for their "lights out". Then they quietly go in to their own beds and go to sleep.

 

ETA: I have to comment on your 2yo's nap schedule of 10am and 5ish. My twins are 18 months now and *still* have not dropped their morning nap. I'm completely baffled because all 4 of my other kids dropped morning nap at about a year old. I have tried to delay their morning nap but to no end! They will not have it - by 10:30/11 they are so crabby and they literally dive into their cribs. Of course with a nap that early in the day they end up taking a shorter power nap around 4:30 (so very similar to the schedule your 2yo is on). It's the strangest thing to me but it seems to be their internal clock because there's no changing it.

Edited July 7, 2011 by Emmy

[Terabith]

I completely disagree.

Every child is different and has different sleep needs. My dd had two 1-hour naps until she was about 2 1/2 or so, then moved to one 2-3hr nap once a day.

 

Yes, definitely, but it seems that in THIS situation, the rest of the family has needs that are having to compete with the 2 yr old's nap schedule. I was just saying that the two year old is probably at a point where they could be brought to one 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon, as opposed to two shorter naps. It might not be the ideal timing of sleep for the 2 yr old, but I'm guessing (and I might be wrong) that it could be accomplished without too much trauma, and that it would improve the schedule and life of the rest of the family.

[joannqn]

There's no way my two year old can give up her morning nap. She gets quite distraught around 10:30-10:45am. She's very clear about her desire to sleep at that time. It's not a melt down, but she puts ALL of her energy in getting me to stop what I'm doing and nurse her to sleep. If I'm able to avoid nursing her (ie. leave her home with dad), she simply passes out.

[EKS]

Yes, my life revolved around my kids' naps- but I didn't have older kids- that would have been inconvenient, I can see.

 

Now, my life revolves around *my* naps and I generally don't do/plan anything in the afternoons. I get up early and anything that needs doing gets done in the mornings.

 

I have always been a bit sleep obsessed for both the kids and I. I will go to quite an extent to arrange our lives to get enough sleep.

 

This.

[jenniferlee]

I always called myself the nap nazi. It was very important to me for my little ones to get the quality rest they needed - for their sake as well as mine. So I made it a priority and yes, that meant that I organized my days around nap times for about 10 years. I think it made for happier children and less chaotic days. We have still have plenty of years to run around like crazy people now that my youngest is 5 and my oldest is 13.

[joannqn]

I cut my 4yo's nap short today (only an hour instead of 2 to 2 1/2 hours) and tried putting him to bed early. He had a bath at 7pm. Then I read to him until almost 8pm. It's 9:16pm, and he's still not asleep yet.

 

I took my 2 year old up at 8pm, and it took 45 minutes of nursing before she fell asleep so I missed our evening family time. We've been watching one episode of Doctor Who together each night.