The word "frick'in"

[Jean in Newcastle]

What do you think? Do you allow it? Do you allow some tamer substitutes but not this one? Do you allow all substitutes? Do you allow all language whether it is a substitute or not?

[Pink Fairy]

Don't allow it. We don't allow substitutes either, but I don't think my kids know any swear words to make substitutions for. Well, I say crap on occasion, but the kids don't.

[RoughCollie]

I didn't even know it was a frickin' substitute for anything until I read about it on these boards some time ago. Still not sure about that -- wouldn't it be a substitute for freaking, as in freaking out? Or is freaking a verb and frickin' an adjective, which changes everything? Or are they both substitutes for swear words and I am an ignoramous?

 

I don't allow it or disallow it. I'm not sure it has come up.

 

Is everything clear to you now? I'm sending you a PM so you can clear it up for me!

Edited June 27, 2011 by RoughCollie

[Dirtroad]

No way. :glare: if the substitute sounds so close to the actual profane, crude, or swear word.... I don't want them using it

 

A reputation of any person (with adults, teachers, friends, families, coaches, etc) can be ruined by bad language. So many words "sub" for really bad words... but mean the same, sound too simliar and are mistaken for actual word, etc. It is not worth it.

 

They can find their own words... Scarlett OHara said "fiddle dee dee". :lol:

 

Also, the use of profanity or substitutes (in many cases) can be taken as a limited vocabulary. (I preach this to my kiddos). So instead of settling for the "*$&" or "*$&-lite"... find a word that truly expresses the feelings or need. (that said, we still error as adults here & kids). But this is our goal.

[Sushi's Mom]

No. We do not use any curse words, or any words that resemble curse words.

[tex-mex]

When my son was younger -- we were strict on foul language being used. Now that son is 16, we are loosening the "reins" (so to speak) and allowing him freedom in this area. He is very Aspergery and loves rules. He is an easy going mellow soul who does not get upset easily.

 

A sweetheart, basically.

 

But nowadays I don't bat an eye when he looses his temper with an online game or if a long awaited Gamefly rental has a defect. He will utter "Fricken" or Cr--". And considering the target of his anger, it makes sense he lost his temper. I would too if I were him.

 

To date, I have not heard him utter coarser language? But I figure he is old enough and in those situations (not in front of company or in public) not to make it a big deal. However, if he loses his temper and uses the same terminology to a person -- we may have to mediate the situation from parents of an Aspie, kwim?

Edited June 27, 2011 by tex-mex

[tntgoodwin]

I say "frick" sometimes, probably because of Scrubs.

 

In my opinion, words only have power when we allow them to have power. The only word that offends me personally is G--D--n.

However, when I don't think it's classy or ladylike when I hear females using profanity (like the f-word, s-word, p-word, etc). There is a time and place for everything though.

 

I don't generally consider "replacement" swears to be troublesome. To me, that is used by someone who is expressing a feeling or emotion in which they would use a different word, but are being sensitive to those around who may have a problem with such language.

 

I also agree with others who have said it shows a lack of vocabulary.

[tex-mex]

Well, I say crap on occasion, but the kids don't.

This is how my teen learned fricken and crap... from us parents when we mess up on rare occasions. LOL *SIGH* Guilty as charged. ;)

[Tree House Academy]

Absolutely NOT. We also hate "what the shiz" which they say on iCarly. We don't allow either of those here.

[Jennifer3141]

We don't really "disallow" any word but we do have running conversations about language and vocabulary and how some words are more fun because they are more elegant/classy/less well known, etc.

 

But yes, my kids have heard me swear on more than one occassion and so I would feel too hypocritical if I punished them for it. However, I will say that being a parent has inspired me to improve my vocabulary and have fun with stuff like, "fecund," or "effusive" etc. etc. I smile and smile when DD uses a word like that too.

 

DD called her brother, "fetid" the other night and I had to leave the room before I cracked up.

[BabyBre]

No. No cursing or implied cursing. It's like sticking up your ring finger instead. Still not ok because we know what you meant!

[BabyBre]

Absolutely NOT. We also hate "what the shiz" which they say on iCarly. We don't allow either of those here.

 

 

We don't allow iCarly. :glare:

[Liz CA]

It sounds a lot like that *other* word we are not saying. So if it slips out, that person usually gets a look that begs them to avail themselves of other vocabulary to express their dismay.

[AndyJoy]

No. No cursing or implied cursing. It's like sticking up your ring finger instead. Still not ok because we know what you meant!

:iagree:No freakin', frickin', flippin', f-ing, or WTF here. I tried to curb this with my jr. high students (at a Christian school) and most of them thought I was crazy. Of course, my little guy is nowhere close the age where it will come up, but dh and I don't curse or use euphemisms for them (except when I occasionally slip and say "shoot" when I spill macaroni or sliced strawberries all over the freshly mopped kitchen floor).

[Lauren R.]

In my house everytime you swear or imply a swear word you have to put your money (allowance,birthday money,etc.) in the swear jar, each word has a different amount. Even adult that come in my house, including me and dh.

 

We do however allow them to make up some gibberish word, if you get what i mean! ;)

 

At the end of the year we use the money to buy something for the whole family (last year we got a wii)

[Alphabetika]

I hate this word. It sounds so harsh to me. Don't allow it here, nor any subs for "the real words."

[Carpe]

I swear up a storm and have since I was 6 or so. My mom tried dishsoap on me repeatedly and a few other things over the years (cayenne pepper was probably the worst) but it didn't stop anything.

 

But my kids don't swear at all (yet? I figure step-DD would by now if she was going to). I've been very good about explaining what an idiot people sound like when they swear and how there are more accurate words to express their feelings. My 16 month old tells me I'm using "slow-pee lang-you-maj" (sloppy language) when I swear. If he didn't I might not even notice that I do it.

[Shawna in Texas]

Flippin', freakin', friggin', fecking, farking, fudging, and effing are pretty common around here. I also use ding-dang as an adjective quite a bit. All of the above are used as adjectives, too.

[JudyJudyJudy]

We don't really "disallow" any word but we do have running conversations about language and vocabulary and how some words are more fun because they are more elegant/classy/less well known, etc.

 

But yes, my kids have heard me swear on more than one occassion and so I would feel too hypocritical if I punished them for it. However, I will say that being a parent has inspired me to improve my vocabulary and have fun with stuff like, "fecund," or "effusive" etc. etc. I smile and smile when DD uses a word like that too.

 

DD called her brother, "fetid" the other night and I had to leave the room before I cracked up.

 

This sounds like my family. :001_smile:

[LaxMom]

We don't censor here. However, we do stress appropriateness; poop talk / jokes/ whatever are fine, but not when we're at the dinner table or speaking with grownups, etc.

 

I have to say, I've never been accused of having a "limited vocabulary", though my use of language - coarse or otherwise - is not generally peppered with every-other-word expletives.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My teens consider substitutions inappropriate.

 

We got off *really* easy on this subject. I would not have allowed anything of any sort when they were little; but it was really a non-issue. I don't think I probably ever told my kids not to say a word other than "hate." I wouldn't say anything about many tame substitutions like "fiddlesticks" or "crud" now; but they still have the "ooooh, you said a bad word" thinking about those things. Oh, I did ask my son about using "LMAO" on FB. He really just hadn't thought about it and just meant it as a stronger LOL. He's since changed it.

 

Anyway, I think it is a benefit to not use them. I have a *really* hard time not using some words that bother MY conscience. Once you get into using the real words or the substitutes, it's *really* hard to break the habit. I'm glad my kids have chosen for themselves not to go that direction. But again, I don't think it was anything I really contributed to. They just have had really strict consciences.

 

My preschoolers' father taught them certain words which we don't allow. The three yr old has taken to them somewhat (though thankfully his speech is so bad that strangers can't understand 90% of what he says so....). Having a child who is on the level of an 18month old use curse words, certain body part words, etc CORRECTLY is just sickening imo. Thankfully, the 4 and 5 year old had already learned not to say those things. Unfortunately, the 3yr old's development is such that he doesn't really get the redirection not to say them. It's been a week or so since he said the worst two so we're getting there.

 

(Note: by body part words, I don't mean anatomically correct words. We use those with him.)

 

Thankfully, none of the kiddos are using substitutions at this time. If I can remediate myself the rest of the way, I think we'll be on the right track. I hope!

[gingersmom]

Not allowed in my house at all. I tell my kids don't even think about speaking like that. Seriously one of my pet peeves.

[Melissa in Australia]

No. We do not use any curse words' date=' or any words that resemble curse words.[/quote']

same here

[july19]

Despite us pleading with my in-laws to curb their language, he's heard my father in law say the actual F word. A lot. And since they bought our rental house, it's technically *their* house now and can't tell them what to do.

 

So, now about twice a month, something will happen and my son will say "fudge". We hate it, hate it, hate it. We discipline him for it but at the same time, I can't get too mad because it isn't his fault he's hearing the stupid original word. No amount of keeping to ourselves helps either because my in-laws are a very very loud italian family and you can hear them EVERYWHERE in the house. I'm also trying to convince myself that A) at least he isn't saying the actual word like he could be and B) when we move away from my in-laws, hopefully it won't be an issue any longer because we won't be hearing the actual word anymore.

 

(Also, according to my father in law, it's okay to swear around Deacon because, and I quote, "kids don't learn nothing now anyhow so it isn't like he's gonna pick up on it"......yeah. And even though we've pointed out that Deacon is saying "fudge", we are still wrong. :glare: )

[grace'smom]

I've been trying to get my daughter to say "Oh, bother" like Pooh bear because I think it sounds cute, but she still just says "Uuuuurgh!" I guess that's better than curse words!

 

I'm not sure how we'd handle that if it ever happened... I'll be checking back to see what everyone else says. :lurk5:

[Ravin]

DD has several preferred made-up ones. For a while she used "frack".

 

I actually allow the real deals, as long as she doesn't say them in front of grandparents or at her enrichment program, and they're not targeted at people as insults. Expletives, yes. Insults, no. I don't even allow "stupid" or other generally not bleeped words to be used to target people.

 

So for us context is everything, and DD has certainly heard quite a lot out of me, as at times I curse like a sailor.

[TheCoffeeChick]

I would not allow it -- and like a few others, we don't allow substitutes that sound like the real thing. Dh and I hardly ever cuss - and never in front of the kids. They've heard potty language plenty from different family members and movies (PG allows quite a bit), and we've just told them that it is unacceptable language to use and there are plenty of other words out there.

 

Funny story --- ds came running toward me one time, telling me dd said the "S-word". I was furious, but confused because I didn't think they knew there was an "S-word", let alone how to use it in a sentence, so I asked ds to repeat it to me. He was appalled that I would ask this of him, so I told him to just whisper it in my ear. He leaned in and very, very quietly said, "stupid". :lol: Oh, the innocence of little ones.

[Niffercoo]

My 15 year old uses them more than I would like, mostly because my dad and husband use them, especially when they are doing a "guys" thing like camping and fishing, so Austin sees using those words as being manly. And the guys in his band do the same thing. @@

 

However, during band practice last week, the 4 year old niece of one of the other band members picked up one of the bad words and started using it. So I talked with Austin about being a role model especially in front of ladies.

 

He also used "cr**" on his Facebook page last week, in response to a comment my dad left. I sent him a private message asking him to remove the comment and not to use that sort of language in a public forum. He removed it right away.

 

Riley is just starting to get into the "I'm going to use the substitution words" phase, and has picked up "Shut the front door" from the trailer for that awful movie "Bad Teacher". @@

 

I wish I could say that I never use bad language, and I used to be much better, but over the last stressful 6 months, I've let more than my share of expletives fly. :( I'm sure that doesn't help.

[july19]

 

Funny story --- ds came running toward me one time, telling me dd said the "S-word". I was furious, but confused because I didn't think they knew there was an "S-word", let alone how to use it in a sentence, so I asked ds to repeat it to me. He was appalled that I would ask this of him, so I told him to just whisper it in my ear. He leaned in and very, very quietly said, "stupid". :lol: Oh, the innocence of little ones.

 

Reminds me, while visiting my mom in MI this past spring, my son comes running to me and said, "Mom! Mimi said the "n" word!"

 

My jaw drops, both from my son possibly knowing that word at all and from my mom using such word. I asked him what she said and he said "no". :lol:

[Pamela H in Texas]

One day, my son (he's 16) listened to the mp3 player of my previous foster son (age 5) to see if the music was appropriate (parents had sent it originally with inappropriate music). He comes to me to report and says that there were two problems. One was the topic of one song and the other was that one song had the "I-word" in it.

 

"I-word?"

"Yeah"

blank look

more silence

"what is the I-word?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He spells out the answer, "I-D-I-O-T."

 

LOL

 

I really have to stop using that word though. Every time I say it, the 3yr old says, "woo ay (hate) idiots?" Kid can't say any other word in the English language clearly except the one word he repeats from me! Goodness!

[stripe]

One nun I know says 'I don't give a shine' and I think I may copy it.

 

I know freakin'/frickin' sound like another f word, but to me they just sort of sound ugly and in fact rhyme with chicken. Not cute. I prefer fudge. Sounds much nicer.

[Guest momk2000]

What do you think? Do you allow it? Do you allow some tamer substitutes but not this one? Do you allow all substitutes? Do you allow all language whether it is a substitute or not?

 

IMO, if you're going to say "frickin'," you may as well just go all the way and just say the actual word it's meant to replace. I really see no difference. Just like saying "sugar" in place of s**t. I don't allow use of "substitute" curse words in my home.

[Violet Crown]

Not long ago there was an NPR piece on a process for extracting oil and natural gas from rocky strata, called hydraulic fracturing*, or, in the business, "fracking."** The NPR report was great. The reporter was saying things like "There is great debate over the fracking process." "There is concern that the fracking chemicals can leak into groundwater." "A fracking disclosure law was recently passed." My dh finally turned to the radio and said "Wow, calm down, man."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*My dad, a chemical engineer, was involved in early work in hydraulic fracturing in the '70's, during the oil embargo days; he lost that work when the recession ended and oil prices went back down. Looks like it's back again.

 

**Battlestar Galactica fans are already snickering.

[Haiku]

I don't see anything wrong with the word "frickin." We have a chain restaurant here called Frickers, and they have Frickin Chicken Wings. My kids don't use it, but I wouldn't really worry about it if they did. I allow "substitutions," for lack of a better word. I use them all the time: "rats," "crud," "s.h.i.t.e," "carp," etc. I also swear on occasion. We have always talked to the kids about language and when it's appropriate/not appropriate. My kids have heard my utter the f-word on occasion (most recently at my hockey game Friday night, when I got drilled in the hand with a puck and let that expletive fly). Sometimes there's just no substitute for the tension release of rough language, imo. I have never heard my kids use swear words outside of the house, and they rarely use them at home.

 

When dd9 was 2, we left her with my father for a week while we traveled to adopt our son. When we got home, dd did something (I forget what) that didn't turn out the way she planned. She said, "Oh, horse pee!" As my dad is the only person I have ever heard use that expression, there was no doubt where she got it (even though he tried to deny it). Dh said to me, "At least she didn't say 'horse balls!'" (my dad's other favorite expression).

 

Tara

Edited June 27, 2011 by TaraTheLiberator

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I say freakin' occasionally, and I have heard it come out of my kids' mouths and didn't like it. So, I don't allow them to say it or any variation of it. I've made an effort to stop saying it myself, but when I get worked up, it just comes out.

 

ETA: I used to talk like a sailor, so I've improved quite a bit. Freakin' is the last vestige of my potty mouth!:tongue_smilie:

[Runningmom80]

I don't allow my 4 year Old to say it, but I personally have no problem with a teen saying it.

[mamato4girls]

My 16dd says it on occasion and I HATE it! She is not supposed to be saying it, and I am starting to really crack down on it. Hate the word.

[jenangelcat]

I don't have a problem with swearing as long as it's not at anyone. IMO substitutes are pointless because they mean the same thing. It's still just a word.

[Dobela]

No. We do not use any curse words' date=' or any words that resemble curse words.[/quote']

It sounds very close to the curse word that it is intended to replace. I believe we are supposed to avoid all appearances of evil and this is one of those appearances. A much better word choice can be used.

[BarbecueMom]

I say "eff" a lot. Usually when DH explains to me why one of my grand plans is never going to work. Or when I'm in the wrong lane on the interstate. Or when I realize we're out of something right when I'm about to cook dinner. I'm not sure if its a swear substitute or just a noise I make.

 

Frickin just sounds juvenile.

[reet3]

We don't allow, but all are 13 and under. Actually my 8 yo DS is hearing the real things from peers and sadly, read them on bumper stickers. So we've been having lots of discussions about those words lately. I just stress that there are less rude ways of expressing yourself, even when mad. However, there are times...:tongue_smilie:

[texasmama]

I don't allow frickin. As the mom, I exert my right to ban any word which offends me. This word selection might seem arbitrary to some but, you know, I'm the mom.;) I don't correct my teen when she uses actual cursewords in appropriate context, though. She typically says it only to me. I'd have to ask her to stop usage in front of younger siblings if that was a problem.

 

I am a closet curser, and she has heard me drop some bombs so I choose not to die on that mountain with her. She will be 16 in a month. That is the long answer to your question...and now everyone knows I am a closet curser. :D

[Jennifer3141]

This sounds like my family. :001_smile:

 

Well, come one over for hot dogs and a farting contest tonight and we'll see who gets fetid first. :D

[LauraGB]

Well, for me, personally, I'm a bit of a potty mouth (thank my truck drivin' dad), but I've gotten much better about it. "Flippin'" works for me.

 

But for my kids? No way. I'm pretty lenient with most tamer versions of words like darn, dang, heck, crap - those don't bother me. And if I did hear them say the real words, I'd likely just raise my eyebrows and tell them sound stupid and to come up with better adjectives or adverbs. But any relative of the F word better not be uttered by any of my children within my earshot or there will be heck to pay.

 

It's interesting how people choose what's okay and what's not. My BIL was shocked beyond belief that our kids say "crap". I mean, lecture sort of shocked. But his kids (roughly same age) say "frickin'" all the time. :confused:

[DawnM]

I don't allow it, but I have not always been good about potty language myself. :tongue_smilie:

 

And our HOMESCHOOL group has older boys who use substitute words often, including frickin, flippin, etc.....

 

Dawn

[Ellie]

I didn't even know it was a frickin' substitute for anything until I read about it on these boards some time ago. Still not sure about that -- wouldn't it be a substitute for freaking, as in freaking out? Or is freaking a verb and frickin' an adjective, which changes everything? Or are they both substitutes for swear words and I am an ignoramous?

 

I don't allow it or disallow it. I'm not sure it has come up.

 

Is everything clear to you now? I'm sending you a PM so you can clear it up for me!

It's a mispronuncation of "freaking."

 

It never came up in our family. ::shrugs::

[BMW]

When they all homeschooled, cuss words were never heard in the home... by kids or parents.

 

After the divorce the children were in ps, I heard a lot of the substitutes. My oldest dd, (Daisymommy) cracks me up, because every single time she hears a sibling cuss or substitute, she tells them, "When you speak that way you are letting us know that you are not intelligent enough to use a more appropriate word and express yourself correctly." Every single time. I have told my children that I don't talk that way and don't wish to hear it and that they are not to talk that way in my home. Dh has a great friend who will cuss and fil might let a word or two out, but very rarely (as in twice in four years) have I heard any man in the family drop the f bomb and they don't use the substitutes either. I am glad.

 

Now 5 of the children live at their dad's where cussing is just fine with everyone and I have to tell them in the car on the way home for a visit that they are to guard their mouths, that I don't allow cussing in the home. Then I have to remind them a couple of times more.

 

I didn't cuss much growing up, but went through a "try it out" stage and I wont punish my kids for doing the same. But, we still don't allow it freely in the home. If they were to get hurt and a miscellaneous, non-F cuss word came out, I wouldn't correct them. One son who lives with me has tried using cuss words (B AND F) in anger in response to correction, thinking he is out of ear shot. Big no-no. His dad took him aside for a talkin' and I haven't heard him do that for a few weeks now.

[angela in ohio]

Not allowed. No curse words at all here.

 

When I hear people use the work frickin', it's pretty clear what word they are using it as a substitute for, and it's not freaking. ;)

[love2read]

No to both fricken and crap, which my college kids tell me are not swear words. They sound vulgar and it's taken weeks of reminders to get them to stop.

[Kelly1730]

Nope, totally unacceptable here. My kids know the word "inappropriate" and aren't afraid to use it;) My dil asked my grandson if he "farted" and my 9yo twins were horrified. I wasn't present at the time but she told me that their eyes got huge and they told her that that word was "inappropriate" and she should say "pass gas":) I roared! Apparently, something I say is getting through;) LOL!