Adult child paying rent

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I would like to know what is an acceptable amount to ask. He is working full time and does not do chores now that he is working. I am thinking $200/month. Does this sound reasonable?

 

This is not about if you agree or disagree on an adult child paying his family rent.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Sounds reasonable. Sounds cheap, actually. Where else could he find living arrangements for that bargain price?

[gingersmom]

I would make my child pay at least $400-$500.

 

I had a friend whose mother made him sign a lease and pay rent. When he moved out she gave him the money back (he did not know this in advance so it was a very nice surprise).

[Ann.without.an.e]

I would make my child pay at least $400-$500.

 

I had a friend whose mother made him sign a lease and pay rent. When he moved out she gave him the money back (he did not know this in advance so it was a very nice surprise).

 

 

Wow, I think that is way too high for a bedroom in your parent's house. He could get a small apartment for that and he only has a bedroom :001_smile: My sister pays $150/month. I think $100-200 is reasonable. Just my two cents.

[LidiyaDawn]

Personally, we wouldn't ask an adult child for rent ~ however, what I would suggest for you (assuming you live in a normal, balanced area with regard to wages and cost of living) is to check the prices for room rentals in your area and then apply a substantial parental discount.

 

(If the rooms usually go for $300/month, charge $150. Something like that.)

[Impish]

Here you can't get a shoe box for under $500 a month, let alone room AND board...I'm assuming that Mom is still supplying groceries/meals.

 

I'd have him do his own laundry and still have house chores. When you're an independant adult, you don't get off the hook from that b/c you're working. To me, that's the point of having them pay rent, etc, is to prep them for living on their own, budgeting, etc.

[lmrich]

I would charge more. I would also give 1/2 back when he moves out. I would also expect chores to be done...laundry (including own towels and sheets), cut the grass every other time, cook once a week... etc.

[PiCO]

I would like to know what is an acceptable amount to ask. He is working full time and does not do chores now that he is working. I am thinking $200/month. Does this sound reasonable?

 

I'm wondering why he does not have to do chores. If he was living on his own or with roommates, he would have to do chores.

 

Are you also providing board?

 

I would check classifieds for house rental, say 3-bedroom, and see what that would be split 3 ways. That was the most cost effective way to live when I was a young adult. Give him a parental discount, put 1/2 in a retirement fund for him (or other savings account.) That's my plan if my girls want to live at home as adults.

[Snickerdoodle]

Depending on the COL of your area, it sounds perfectly fine. You could probably do a bit more than that too if he was not contributing meaningfully to the chores.

[Anita in NC]

My mom always charged me 1/3 of my pay - starting at age 16 when I got my first job.

 

I think that 1/3 of his pay is fair for room and board.

[Parrothead]

I'd find out what the going rate seems to be in your area. I'd add a housekeeping fee and a grocery fee if he is eating at home.

[HappyatHome]

That's the amount we settled on. Ours does help out with some chores and looks after himself, of course. I sort of estimated what it cost us to have him living here and went with that. He knows it's a good deal, but he is still working towards moving out on his own - that's just what we want.

 

We hope to give him back part of that rent when he does move out on his own.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Thanks all.

I did check around to see what a room to rent would cost. On average it cost about $400. I also tallied what 1/5 of the our bills would be (just the ones he makes use of) and that was $460 a month.

 

$200 it is.

[cat]

What is the goal? To have him move out and live on his own? To have him live with you and take care of things around the house?

 

I like the idea of giving some of his money back when he moves out..... that way he will have money to put down on a deposit.

 

Of the $200 he pays, I would put it towards his food, the water, electricity and anything left over I would put away to give him back as a moving out gift.

 

If he isn't earning very much money, I would be inclined to base his rent on a percentage of his pay. If he only makes $200.00 a month, then $200.00 would be hard for him.

[sgo95]

I think $200 is perfectly reasonable. When DH lived at home with his parents (over a decade ago), he paid $300/mo and bought groceries every other week. That's partially because he wanted to help his parents out.

 

He is working full time and does not do chores now that he is working.

 

If he was living on his own, he would have to work and do all his own chores, wouldn't he? I'm not sure that it makes sense to say he is chore-free because he's working.

[Crimson Wife]

We lived with my parents for my DH's first year of grad school. We all sat down to calculate the added expenses for utilities and shared groceries (I also bought additional groceries for things that we ate but my parents didn't). I don't remember the exact amount but it was a few hundred dollars per month. The goal was to make it a break-even for my folks.

 

I cooked dinner for everyone 2 nights per week when my mom had evening commitments. DH and I also pitched in with the housework and yardwork. I did our laundry but would sometimes add a few things out of my parents' hamper in order to make a full load and my mom would reciprocate. I used to wash & vacuum my parents' cars every week when I was doing mine, because once I got everything set up, it really didn't take that much extra time to do theirs as well (we're talking a quickie basic cleaning rather than detailing IYKWIM).

[MindyD]

I agree with everyone else that says he needs to be doing chores as well. He'd have to do that anywhere else he lives, and he WILL have to do it when he moves out one day. Sounds like a plan to me :)

[Jenny in Florida]

Wow, I think that is way too high for a bedroom in your parent's house. He could get a small apartment for that and he only has a bedroom :001_smile: My sister pays $150/month. I think $100-200 is reasonable. Just my two cents.

 

That would depend highly on the real estate costs in the area.

 

In our city, one-bedroom apartments start at about $600 per month. In the city where my husband and I grew up, you can't get any apartment (even a studio) for under $1,000 a month.

Edited May 17, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[Crimson Wife]

That would depend highly on the real estate costs in the area.

 

In our city, one-bedroom apartments start at about $600 per month.

 

One BR apartments in a safe neighborhood in my neck of the woods are around $1200 per month.

 

Renting a room in someone's house runs typically $650-$800 per month going by the ads on the bulletin board at my church.

[JFSinIL]

Here, when my adult son with autism applied for SSI, they had me charge him one fifth (we have five people living at home) of the total monthly mortgage/water/gas/electricity/sewer/food bills. They said I had to bill him, based on our bills, $474 pr month.

 

So - add up all your bills and divide by how many people are living in the house.

 

He should also cover his own phone/car costs.

 

$200 is too cheap.

 

PS - unless you need the money, I'd deposit it, or most of it, in a savings account for when he moves out (for rent deposit or house down payment).

 

PPS - he should still do chores - if he was in his own apartment, working, he'd still have to do laundry, shop, clean, etc. He should at least do his own laundry, keep whichever bathroom he uses clean, clean up his own dishes, etc.

[alpidarkomama]

Is that room and board?? Depending on where you live, $200 is either cheap or really cheap! :) I think if I was in the same situation, I would charge at least that PLUS chores. I would keep it cheap because I would love to help them save up money for starting a family, buying a house, or starting a business.

[scubamama]

I had to pay my parents rent too - for all of the 4 months I was at home b/t college graduation and getting married. It was $200. And I did chores and cared for my handicapped mom's basic needs.

I naively thought I'd be getting it all back on my wedding day, but nope. I was young and foolish :tongue_smilie:

I tell my kids about this all the time (the rent, not the young and foolish part) so theyr're not shocked when we charge them if they're living with us post college.

 

I find this to be a very reasonable thing to do, if done with respect for all parties.

 

Michele

[cathmom]

I think I read in the Tightwad Gazette that one family gave their son the electric bill to pay instead of charging rent, which turned him into a real crusader for saving energy!

[Crimson Wife]

Here, when my adult son with autism applied for SSI, they had me charge him one fifth (we have five people living at home) of the total monthly mortgage/water/gas/electricity/sewer/food bills. They said I had to bill him, based on our bills, $474 pr month.

 

So - add up all your bills and divide by how many people are living in the house.

 

I would take out the mortgage part because you'd be paying that regardless of whether he's there or not. It's the marginal cost to having him there that matters (the added utilities and food).

 

This is your child, not some unrelated roommate you've taken on to split the cost of your house/apartment.

[PiCO]

This is your child, not some unrelated roommate you've taken on to split the cost of your house/apartment.

 

To me, the purpose of charging rent to an adult child living at home is to help them realize that living at home is not "free"- it is costing the parents money.

 

I would see what expenses really are, and make sure my child knew that- but also take into consideration what their job pays, and how many chores they are willing to do. Is it a "starter job" where the child is gaining experience but not getting paid yet? Are they doing all the landscaping?

 

I would also set a good chunk of the money aside for the child (as a surprise.)

[Tarreymere]

We charge a fair market rent (in our area $400/mo) but not for board or utilities. Heck, with board and utilities our adult son would be paying us about $800/mo or more since he eats like a starving horse and uses hot water like it is free. Half of the amount we charge goes into an account for the adult child that traditionally in our family is given to them when they move out to help with the expense of moving and setting up a household and the rest we use to offset the groceries and utilities.

 

The adult child is still expected to do chores, the primary adults in the home do chores even though they work. The adult child is going to be very mistaken if he thinks someone else is going to cook and clean for him when he gets his own place. Right now I have an adult son at home who is working and going to school. He takes out the trash when he leaves in the morning and again when he comes home in the evening. He cleans the second bathroom. He mows the lawn. He does dishes now and then, sweeps, and will do other chores as asked. In the winter he shovels snow and chops wood.

 

The adult child buys commonly used items regularly like eggs or coffee if he sees that we are running out. He uses his own money for this and doesn't expect to get paid back. If he manages to get a driver's license and buy a car he will pay for his own car insurance, car payment, and gas. He usually calls to ask if we need anything from the store on his way home from work or school (no we don't give him rides as we don't have a car ourselves).

 

We also make sure our adult kids at home have a budget and a plan for moving out. I have had to 'evict' adult kids who felt they did not need to do chores anymore and thought it was okay to spend all of their money on entertainment, clothes, and fast food while cranking up my heat and sneaking my car keys. I am pretty strict with my expectations up front so that they are very clear, to minimize issues later.

[LibraryLover]

As little as possible so they can save and make financial plans for their future to move on. Or...as much as possible if they thought they were going to be living with me forever...

 

So, I'd say between $1/week and $600/mo. :tongue_smilie:

[J-rap]

...

Edited September 11, 2023 by J-rap

[Crimson Wife]

To me, the purpose of charging rent to an adult child living at home is to help them realize that living at home is not "free"- it is costing the parents money.

 

Agreed. But the room isn't costing the parents any money because the parents would be paying for it whether or not the child is at home. Now if they would otherwise rent it out to a stranger, I can see charging fair market rent. However, in 99% of the cases I've seen it would just be sitting there empty as a guest bedroom or used as some sort of home office/sewing/exercise/rec room etc.

 

The extra utilities and food are what is costing the parents additional money, and that's what the adult child should be paying.

[Dawn in OH]

If I remember correctly, I paid $250 a month about 16 years ago, to live in my parents home.

I did my own laundry and cleaned up after myself. I bought my own toiletries and any groceries I wanted that my parents didn't buy. I paid for my own phone line and auto insurance.

 

I didn't do much around the house simply because I was working long hours. I basically just slept there. I did clean up after myself though. I did help clean up and prepare meals when I ate with the family. If I ate on my own, I washed all my own dishes, cleaned the stove, etc.

 

I had a good job, but would have gone broke renting an apartment and paying my bills. This covered groceries, room rental, and utilities. When I lost that job, due to my position being eliminated and having to take a lower paying job with less hours, my rent went down and my help around the house increased.

 

If the child has a minimum wage job, you don't want to eat up all of his income. The point is to make him responsible for his food and utility costs, without charging him so much that he can never afford to move out.

[Celia]

I would say a third of his income.

[PiCO]

Agreed. But the room isn't costing the parents any money because the parents would be paying for it whether or not the child is at home. Now if they would otherwise rent it out to a stranger, I can see charging fair market rent. However, in 99% of the cases I've seen it would just be sitting there empty as a guest bedroom or used as some sort of home office/sewing/exercise/rec room etc.

 

The extra utilities and food are what is costing the parents additional money, and that's what the adult child should be paying.

 

The parents would be paying the same if the child was living there or not, but the child needs to know what the real cost of that is. I don't think the parent should charge the "actual cost" as if the child is a stranger, but I think the child should be aware of what the real cost is.

 

I would probably charge a couple hundred and require chores and family commitments. I would put that money away for dd. (A room in a shared house around here goes for about $500/month.)

[beccad777]

I think 200 is cheap. And I would definitely require chores. No one gets out of chores when they live on their own. I might charge a bit more as to make living at home not as desirable as living on one's own. You don't want them to be like my brother, living at home when he's 30 and blowing all his money on fast food and movies because my parents pay for everything! Can you tell that frustrates me? :tongue_smilie: But seriously, don't let them mooch! It can become a lifelong habit, and that is not doing them any favors.

[myfunnybunch]

Our exchange students pay us a stipend around $500/month. This covers two meals/day (three on weekends) and snacks, utilities, laundry, sheets and towels (which I wash), and the room. They are responsible for washing their own clothes, buying toiletries and personal items, transportation, helping with meal cleanup, and keeping the room clean.

 

I'd charge an adult child $200 only if he or she was doing chores and contributing to household upkeep and if he/she was struggling to get started financially. This was the amount we intended to charge our 18 y.o. dd when she got a job. (She's since got a job in another town and moved.)

 

For my own child in the same situation as our exchange students, we'd probably charge a little less because she's family. Maybe $400. I like the idea of saving some or all of it to give the young adult when he or she moves out.

 

Cat

[Mrs Mungo]

I think $150-$200 is fair, especially given that it is room and board. I would still expect help with chores. I lived at home in college. I worked 60 hours per week and 12-15 hours of classes per week. I still helped with meals, cleaning, errands, etc.

[ktgrok]

I would like to know what is an acceptable amount to ask. He is working full time and does not do chores now that he is working. I am thinking $200/month. Does this sound reasonable?

 

This is not about if you agree or disagree on an adult child paying his family rent.

 

The way my parents did it was that I paid the electric bill. That ranged from 150-300, depending on the time of year, and how frugal we were. It got me used to realizing that prices fluctuate, and got me better at closing doors and turning off lights, lol.

 

Otherwise I think 200 is a good price.

[dirty ethel rackham]

To me, the purpose of charging rent to an adult child living at home is to help them realize that living at home is not "free"- it is costing the parents money.

 

 

That's what my parents did. We had an agreement that I could live at home rent-free for one year after college, provided I helped out with chores and obeyed house rules. I moved out after 3 months to room with a friend in an apartment closer to work. Several years later, I moved back in with them to save money to buy a house. They let me use those 9 months I didn't use before than I paid them $150 in rent. This was 20 years ago. Part of it went to a cleaning woman 2x's a month and part to just household expenses. My parents didn't give any back to me, but they did give me a nice wedding.

 

My kids have been told that they will have a similar arrangement. Rent-free, one year, house rules, must be working or actively looking.

[ecj98]

I would make my child pay at least $400-$500.

 

I had a friend whose mother made him sign a lease and pay rent. When he moved out she gave him the money back (he did not know this in advance so it was a very nice surprise).

 

My parents did the same thing with my brother. I'm not sure how much he paid, but they saved it and used it to pay for the moving van and to get him set up in his first apartment when he moved out.

 

I would say more than $200. Maybe $350-$450.

[mama2cntrykids]

Interesting thread. We'll be going through this season in a couple of years after my step son graduates.

 

Right now he's at the end of his Sophomore year and really not motivated to do much.

 

My dh and I have agreed that he will not graduate HS and hang out here while we pay for his food/utilities. He will be expected to pay x amount for food/rent AND continue to do chores and keep the house rules if he wants to stay here.

 

I have never seen a kid NOT motivated by money, but he isn't:001_huh:. Should be interesting.

[sgo95]

In terms of how much to charge, it's not about how much it costs the parent. The equation is actually on the child's part: how much would they have to pay out if they rented elsewhere at perhaps a less comfortable standard of living (renting a room from strangers is not very comfortable and renting your own apartment is much more expensive than $200/mo) vs. living at the standard of living they're used to with people they love and are comfortable around (hopefully, right?). I think it's actually helpful for the child to have to pay rent as a sign of appreciation/respect for their parents and what they have at home.

 

Yes, you're not renting out to a stranger for profit. From the child's point of view, though, why should parents rate so much less in terms of deserving consideration. If the parents can afford to, then I agree it's a great idea to sock away the rent money as a gift later, but I like the idea of requiring a modest rent.

 

Every situation is different I guess. When DH did this many years ago, his parents were still living month-to-month and really appreciated his help. DH was happy to contribute. That way everyone benefited, not just the child (DH).