missesd Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Don't get me wrong, I like our new Dr. She is younger then me, grey hair, one child and really takes her time with the kids and parents. I actually like her a lot. I usually go in with my Homeschooling with Heart tote bag filled with stuff for the kids to do, while I sit and read whatever issue of The Old Schoolhouse that I haven't gotten around to reading. The office just opened in the fall, and they all know I homeschool. Yet everytime they remind me to get school notes, etc... I have to repeat "we homeschool"... "ohhhh" they reply, or "oh yeah...". This last time before she left the room she asked me what I used, what curriculum? I felt totally put on the spot. Maybe it's because we read and hear horror stories of doctors who think they are being educationally neglected, or think it's a way to keep abuse private, or perhaps their social needs aren't getting met, that put me there. Or maybe it's my own guilt knowing that since the holidays I've been struggling with the younger ones. But I answered. I stumbled a little over myself at first, then I felt I was rambling. I knew I was forgetting things. We staggered our school this year, so there are things I know we will do, I just haven't gotten yet, or we haven't started. She smiled, and left. Hubby said she seemed genuinely interested and impressed. I left feeling like I said too much, or not enough, or that I definitely didn't seem like I had it together. Now I am wondering if that's the norm, if anyone else has gotten asked by their Ped, and if so did you feel somewhat defensive?? Is that normal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Physicians have never inquired about curriculum. They have asked the children about when they get up for school and what their routine is like but nothing about curriculum. It sounds as though the doctor was genuinely interested in what you are doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I have no idea why you wouod need to bring in anything from the school even if you weren't home schooling. That said, at least twice when a dr or nurse has asked me about home schooling it was because they or someone they know was considering it and looking for information for that reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I have no idea why you wouod need to bring in anything from the school even if you weren't home schooling. That said, at least twice when a dr or nurse has asked me about home schooling it was because they or someone they know was considering it and looking for information for that reason. It's a school note to be excused from class, etc... They are pretty strict here. No more ten 11 days total a year for illness, and so many periods equal a full day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Maybe I have a tendency to have an overly optimistic view of people, but I'd take that kind of question as just curiosity. I frequently have people ask me if I get textbooks from the local public school. I tell them that I put together my own literature-based curriculum following TWTM and that usually satisfies them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalphs Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) When our child went for their first appointment with the new pediatrician he asked if they went to public/private school or was homeschooled. When they answered homeschool he asked what method/philosophy because he is genuninely interested in homeschooling. It turned out his wife is a public school teacher and she too uses the WTM in her classroom. Edited February 4, 2011 by kalphs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Next time, you can choose to respond to any question about homeschooling with a question of your own: "Why do you ask?" That way, you can find out if the dr. is interested as a person or if this is an "official" question somehow. Knowing the purpose of the question might equip you to be more confident in your answer. If you don't want to be asked again, next time bring in ALL your homeschool stuff and do show and tell. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 Next time, you can choose to respond to any question about homeschooling with a question of your own: "Why do you ask?" That way, you can find out if the dr. is interested as a person or if this is an "official" question somehow. Knowing the purpose of the question might equip you to be more confident in your answer. If you don't want to be asked again, next time bring in ALL your homeschool stuff and do show and tell. ;) That's a good idea :) But have you seen my school pictures?? They are in my album... it would require being each child's bin in from the van for show and tell... for certain no one would ever ask again ;) LOL If she is genuinely interested, I have no problem answering. I really do like her. She is very casual, friendly... I could actually see us being friends. Her son is young, so maybe she is considering it for her own child. If so, I hope I didn't come off as a bumbling idiot because I felt put on the spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'd ask her why she wants to know. It's really none of her business, generally speaking, but if she's asking out of genuine curiosity, I wouldn't mind sharing. I have no problem discussing it if I feel the person asking has a genuine interest, but if I feel they're "fishing" for info to use against me, I'll clam up fast. Doctors have no legitimate reason to ask on an "official" level about your child's schooling. They have no jurisdiction over the children's education, so if I felt the doc was asking for those reasons, I'd not feel the least bit obligated to divulge. Chances are, they don't know one from another anyway, so why should they even ask? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 That just sounds like interest to me. I stress out when our pediatrician asks my kids (well, my special needs kid particularly) about favorite subjects! But I don't think they are checking up on us or anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I would just assume she's interested and curious. When people ask me, I usually say something like "I've used a variety of things, and different curricula for different subjects. Are you familiar with any?". That usually gives them an opening to talk about why they're interested. Sometimes it's a parent wanting to supplement a certain subject at home, for example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted January 30, 2011 Author Share Posted January 30, 2011 I would just assume she's interested and curious. When people ask me, I usually say something like "I've used a variety of things, and different curricula for different subjects. Are you familiar with any?". That usually gives them an opening to talk about why they're interested. Sometimes it's a parent wanting to supplement a certain subject at home, for example. Oooo, that's good!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I have chatted about curricula with our doctor, but his wife homeschools their kids. In any other situation, I might get defensive depending on the vibe I got. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 So thankful for our family doc, he is a homeschool dad of 9 kids! If he were to ask me about curriculum I would know it would be out of just homeschool curiosity. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 My dentist asked me about what we use - turns out his kids are home schooled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyBlueLobsters Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Our pedi homeschools too :) I have asked HIM what they use for curriculum! As a side note....DH's boss also homeschools. How ironic is that?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 A dear friend of mine who is a Pediatrician homeschools his kids. Maybe she was genuinely curious ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I would just assume she's interested and curious. When people ask me, I usually say something like "I've used a variety of things, and different curricula for different subjects. Are you familiar with any?". That usually gives them an opening to talk about why they're interested. Sometimes it's a parent wanting to supplement a certain subject at home, for example. That's a great response. I'm borrowing it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Cyberschooling is growing so quickly here that when anyone asks me what I use in terms of curriculum, it usually turns out they really want to know which school I go through. That ends up turning into a longer conversation because we aren't cyberschoolers. Ironically, all of the advertising the cyberschools do touting the academic benefits of their programs and all of the social opportunities they provide means fewer questions for me to answer on those fronts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 My oldest dd had to have some vaccinations for a trip she was making to the Far East and decided to go see the female ped in our practice rather than our male ped that she had always seen in the past. This dr. found out that she was homeschooled and her questions were obnixious: "Do you have ANY friends?" "Do you ever do ANYTHING outside the house? it was completely obnoxious and so obviously biased against homeschooling that my daughter, though 15 and perfectly capable of answering for herself was stuttering and searching for things that would satisfy the inquisition. There was no way that is was curiosity about homeschooling because of her tone and body language. If I didn't know the other ped in the office so well, I would have been more worried, but I know that if she brought up our family to him, he would defend us. So, yes, I think there are some peds who allow their personal bias to invade an otherwise normal physical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I don't think my ped knows I homeschool so I've never gotten that question but I did have all the nursing staff googling bamboo cloth diapers!!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Our pediatrician and our dentist have decided to homeschool. Looking back I realize that their questions were genuine and for personal reasons. I think that while some professionals are not supportive of homeschooling, there are more and more that are wanting to learn more even if they don't homeschool themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I would probably turn the question around on them. Such as, "what grade or grades are particularly interested in?" or "oh, are interested in homeschooling your children?" Then go from there. Maybe it's just curiosity or maybe she's personally interested for her own children. In any event, I have a lot of answers for her - probably more than she bargained for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 She may have relatives or friends who homeschool, and she may have been just seeing what else was out there. Maybe she would like to homeschool her own children someday, or maybe she was homeschooled. You never know. Most likely she was just curious, just asking a personal question as a person and not as your "doctor". I can see some of the people in my dh's practice asking what you used and then coming and telling me or one of the other homeschool parents to see if it was the same or even just to let me know there was another homeschooler out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 It's none of their business, in an official capacity...but if there was genuine personal interest, I'd share a bit... If there was a current of bad attitude, I'd ask him/her where they got their M.D. degree, what their GPA was and what innovative papers they published...and I'd ask obnoxious questions like, "wow...they'll actually give you a license if you graduate from there? Maybe next time I'll take my kid to the veterinarian for her shots...tsk tsk tsk." LOL. Once we had a ped ask me if we had guns in the house...:glare: I answered, "Beeswax...mine, not yours..." Then I said, 'I assume you are asking for child safety reasons...why not ask me if I have a swimming pool, since more children in the US die from accidental drowning than accidental firearms discharge?' Conversation ended shortly after...They're not our ped anymore... I'm the customer, not a subject to be interrogated by mis-guided do-gooders. This sort of thing can put me on tilt pretty quick... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I think I would take it in a similar vein as anyone else that was curious about our school and curriculum. Our realtor asked us a TON of questions the other day about it, but she was genuinely curious. I've had doctors ask too (in fact Kelsie's allergist, just the other day) and it is usually just our of curiosity. I find that well educated people are the ones that ask more questions about the books and curriculum...because of a real interest, not in judgement. (And I have been judged and accused of ruining my kids lives, so I don't have rose colored glasses on about it :001_smile:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) Once we had a ped ask me if we had guns in the house...:glare: I answered, "Beeswax...mine, not yours..." Then I said, 'I assume you are asking for child safety reasons...why not ask me if I have a swimming pool, since more children in the US die from accidental drowning than accidental firearms discharge?' Conversation ended shortly after...They're not our ped anymore... Asking about drowning risks is routine. ANTICIPATORY GUIDANCE PROVIDED Nutrition/exercise/vitamins Dental caries prevention/dental care Drowning Prevention /sun safety Car seat/auto safety Parenting advice “Safe at Home?” Potential for abuse Family involvement Fears and Phobias Peer Companionship Discontinue Pacifier Use Injury prevention/ “Childproofing” Poisonous Plant Awareness Safety with Siblings and Pets Violence Prevention/gun safety Fire Safety/Burns Emergency/911 Passive Smoke Child Care Safety Toilet training Read to child Limit TV/Video exposure Self control Sexual self-awareness Next appointment Edited January 31, 2011 by Perry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Don't get me wrong, I like our new Dr. She is younger then me, grey hair, one child and really takes her time with the kids and parents. I actually like her a lot. I usually go in with my Homeschooling with Heart tote bag filled with stuff for the kids to do, while I sit and read whatever issue of The Old Schoolhouse that I haven't gotten around to reading. The office just opened in the fall, and they all know I homeschool. Yet everytime they remind me to get school notes, etc... I have to repeat "we homeschool"... "ohhhh" they reply, or "oh yeah...". This last time before she left the room she asked me what I used, what curriculum? I felt totally put on the spot. Maybe it's because we read and hear horror stories of doctors who think they are being educationally neglected, or think it's a way to keep abuse private, or perhaps their social needs aren't getting met, that put me there. Or maybe it's my own guilt knowing that since the holidays I've been struggling with the younger ones. But I answered. I stumbled a little over myself at first, then I felt I was rambling. I knew I was forgetting things. We staggered our school this year, so there are things I know we will do, I just haven't gotten yet, or we haven't started. She smiled, and left. Hubby said she seemed genuinely interested and impressed. I left feeling like I said too much, or not enough, or that I definitely didn't seem like I had it together. Now I am wondering if that's the norm, if anyone else has gotten asked by their Ped, and if so did you feel somewhat defensive?? Is that normal? I have been asked...but only because the Dr. was completely interested. Dr.s are people too...and smart people. They are interested. I have given answers as honest as I can. My oldest dd had one professor give her the 3rd degree about homeschooling. It made her a bit nervous, but she answered his questions as best she could. Turned out he wanted to homeschool his 6 yo son. He was grateful for the information. So was my doctor. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of and neither do you. I wouldn't worry at all....maybe she wants to homeschool her child. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Our Ped has never asked, but he is great, and so is the kid's eye doctor. If either of them asked that question of me, I would honestly believe that it was out of genuine interest. With our old Ped, I would have thought he was prying and looking for something to criticize. It's nice to be with a doctor we really like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Years ago our oral surgeon asked me about homeschooling. He said his wife was looking into homeschooling. A family doctor I go to said that she was "converted" to homeschooling by one of her patients! How exciting is that?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I would have taken the question as genuine curiosity and assumed that the doctor was trying to express an interest in her patients unless I felt an undercurrent of something different. I have not ever gotten many questions from doctors/dentists, nor have I ever gotten the impression that anyone questioned my decision to homeschool, but we live in a very homeschooling friendly state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Nothing to be defensive about, in my opinion. I let my kids speak for themselves and add details only if they want me to. Personally I believe that allowing my children to speak for themselves not only more than answers any concerns, they are also promoting homeschooling to someone who really may have no idea what it can be all about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I wouldn't necessarily be defensive but it would have taken me off-guard, I'm sure. I can always think of the perfect way to answer hours later. I would have been wondering why they were asking. Our ped. homeschools. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) I would have been caught off guard by the question as well, though I would have just replied that we follow the classical methodology outlined in TWTM. Then I would have asked her if she was familiar with the book. If the question were aimed at my child (rather than myself) I likely would have smiled at them and prompted them to answer. ETA: I just wanted to add another voice to the She may be genuinely interested! camp. We had a ped. once who I had a very *good* feeling about, although she had a tendency to get sidetracked and we often ended up having conversations that were unrelated to the visit. She asked me some questions about homeschooling that I found slightly off-putting at the time (how do you make sure that they get enough peer interaction? how do you know that you are teaching the right things? etc), but I still had a very good feeling about her overall and we continued to see her for about a year. Anyway, she left the practice somewhat abruptly. I ran into her at the supermarket a few months later. She told me that she had switched to a different practice that allowed her to work just two shifts per week. This enabled her to pull her two little girls from full-time daycare so that she could be home with them most of the time. She had more questions about homeschooling for me -- turns out she had been genuinely interested the entire time, I just didn't realize it. Edited January 31, 2011 by Pretty in Pink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Lisa she may be considering homeschooling for her own child and was curious. You never know. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I suppose I would have to be there to hear the tone and vibe, but from what you said about her, I wouldn't be offended at all nor feel any reason to be flustered. She might have been just curious. I have random people who find out we homeschool even though I know my answers don't really mean anything to them. Usually they are asking if we use a particular line of boxed curriculum. I just explain we put our own subjects together while also using WTM as a guide of ideas of a sort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I had a doctor GRILL me about home schooling. Turned out she was seriously considering pulling her ten year old out of school and was desperate to talk to someone about options! ;) It threw me at first, but when I realized *why* she was asking (and it took a while), I was glad that I had not been defensive. Our current ped asks the kids directly about what they're doing -- school, extra-curriculars, social... But I'm certain he does this with all of his patients. What I love is that he remembers from visit to visit what the kids told him before. He'll say, "How did Nutcracker go?" or "So how did your Lego team do at State?" etc... He's checking up on them, sure (are they happy, are they engaged with the world -- and those *are* health issues!), but he's also expressing a genuine interest in them and developing a rapport. ... Though, as I said, most of his questions are directed toward them, and I only speak to clarify if necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I'm a pediatrician who's asked patients about curriculum. I was interested. :) I also ask people about other things in their lives just because it's interesting and I like making conversation. I find out all kinds of cool things people do from my patients and their families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 On my better days, I will answer, "I pull together my own curriculum following a generally classical philosophy." If pressed, I'll add, "Are you considering homeschooling? I'd be happy to email you a list of books you way want to look at or get together sometime to talk if you'd like." On my not-so-great days, I say, "Um... uhhh..." while listening to my pulse ramp up. Too bad my not-so-great days always happen when I'm awake and my better days always occur when I'm asleep. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I understand being caught off guard. :eek: Although it may be that she is interested in homeschooling, there have been cases where doctors caused problems for their homeschooling patients, so I'd just be cautious in answering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Asking about drowning risks is routine. Thx for the citation and clarification. It didn't happen in any of my visits with my dds... I might have been more open to the conversation if it was framed like that, rather than as an interrogation with the 1st question an intrusive one about gun ownership. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Our pediatrician did not ask about curriculum specifically - but she always asked questions about what the kids were DOING: did they play sports, did they like school (when they still went to ps), what were their favorite subjects, favorite foods etc. When she retired and we picked up our records, I saw that she had for instance written down a note about DD's social issues (she was bullied) in Middle school. I always took this as a sign that she was genuinely interested in her patients and wanted to get a whole picture of not just the physical, but also the psychological well being. Btw, I never feel offended if somebody asks me about curriculum. I am very eclectic and can tell them how we cobble together curriculum - I don't feel as if they are checking up on me. They may just want to make conversation, or be curious, or contemplate hsing themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 My dentist asked me about what we use - turns out his kids are home schooled. A dear friend of mine who is a Pediatrician homeschools his kids. Maybe she was genuinely curious ;) Years ago our oral surgeon asked me about homeschooling. He said his wife was looking into homeschooling. A family doctor I go to said that she was "converted" to homeschooling by one of her patients! How exciting is that?! I had a long conversation with my eye doctor a couple of years ago about homeschooling. He was doing the usual making-conversation-with-the-patient thing and asked what I did. It turned out one of his adult nephews (or nieces, I don't remember) was considering homeschooling, and he didn't really know anything about it. He did ask what kind of curriculum we use and where we got it and how we decided what to use. In his case, it was just curiosity and, I think, trying to make a connection with his patient. (Of course, it made the appointment take so long that my son and husband were getting VERY nervous waiting for me, but that's not the point.) I don't think I would have been defensive or upset by the question from a pediatrician, though. I'm pretty secure about our educational decisions and usually happy to chat briefly about homeschooling in general and our approach more specifically. It did flit through my brain to wonder, though, if this might be a sort of general screening question, just to get a sense that there really is schooling going on at home. In that case, it wouldn't really matter WHAT curriculum a person named, as long as he or she named something(s) or spoke reasonably intelligently about the educational approach used. But, you did say you're new patients, right? It's entirely probably she was just getting to know your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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