Susan in TN Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 ...saying "no thanks, we already have some"? Well, it happened to me tonight. It was just some hot chocolate mix to go with some homemade pastries, and she gave the hot chocolate mix back. :confused: Is this common? I thought it was a little bizarre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Not just weird, rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would never do that. I agree that it is extremely rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Ditto. It was rude. Maybe she didn't mean it that way, though. She may have figured that since her family wouldn't use it, she might as well give it back to someone who will. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 It reminded me of that scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail...("I told them we've already got one - silly English Kinnnniggits! :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Yes, bizarre describes it rather well :001_huh:. So what if she already has some, put it in the pantry! That would make me think the returnee had ...issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saja1029 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 What a crappy thing to do! Even if she couldn't use it or didn't want it....you don't give a gift back regardless of what it is. Give it to your neighbor or something...very ungrateful:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolosoli Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Yes, very rude. The rudest gift giving moment I've had is when we gave someone a box of chocolates (nice chocolates, ones that I love and my kids and we would have enjoyed) and he announced loudly to his wife, "great, hey look <insert name> we've been given MORE chocolate...just what we needed"! It was said in such a snarky tone. I don't he meant to be that rude. I wanted to take the chocolates back right then and there! LOL Maybe one of her kids mentioned to people how much they like hot chocolate and she's really been given lots of hot chocolate!?!?!? There really isn't a good enough excuse though for rudeness....and can one ever really have to much chocolate!?!?!?! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. That's the first thing that popped into my head too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saja1029 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. Even so...wouldn't you let the person know?? "Oh, so and so....Thank you, but little Billy is extremely allergic to hot chocolate......" Otherwise, RUDE.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. You make much nicer assumptions than I do :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Wow, that's rude! I have Celiac disease and I graciously accept food I can't eat and feed it to someone else. I can't imagine not doing so, unless it contained peanuts that could kill my child or something just by being around them. I'd still try to dispose of it in secret though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. But there is a difference between, "No thanks. We already have some," and "I'm terribly sorry not to be able to accept this part of such a lovely gift since we have terrible food intolerances to dairy." Then again, the returner did say "No, thanks," instead of just handing it back without comment. I do believe it has been determined recently that rude is relative. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Even so...wouldn't you let the person know?? "Oh, so and so....Thank you, but little Billy is extremely allergic to hot chocolate......" People who have medical issues often get tired of explaining them over and over, especially this time of year. You make much nicer assumptions than I do :D. I try really hard to think of the best possible reason for something and then just assign it to the person. It makes my life more pleasant. For example, I assume people who cut me off in traffic have explosive diarrhea and could not possibly have waited that extra couple of seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 People who have medical issues often get tired of explaining them over and over, especially this time of year. I try really hard to think of the best possible reason for something and then just assign it to the person. It makes my life more pleasant. For example, I assume people who cut me off in traffic have explosive diarrhea and could not possibly have waited that extra couple of seconds. I have a ds with life-threatening food allergies and, yes, it gets tiring explaining. But, I would NEVER be so rude as to hand something back like that. I mean, I could always throw it away before my son sees it. Oh - and I do the same thing when I'm cut off in traffic. I always think that they're on the way to the hospital to see a dying family member. But, I think I like the ED explanation better! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 For example, I assume people who cut me off in traffic have explosive diarrhea and could not possibly have waited that extra couple of seconds. Okay, if you don't mind I'm going to start believing that of a lot of people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 People who have medical issues often get tired of explaining them over and over, especially this time of year. I try really hard to think of the best possible reason for something and then just assign it to the person. It makes my life more pleasant. For example, I assume people who cut me off in traffic have explosive diarrhea and could not possibly have waited that extra couple of seconds. :iagree: to the first sentence. A simple "he's allergic to nuts" can turn into a person wanting to know how allergic, and if he'll DIE if he touches etc etc...not a fun convo in front of the ALLERGIC child...he can HEAR folks!:glare: (not that I talk like that irl...I would give it away secretly...unless it was opened nuts, like homemade baked goods) And, :lol::lol::lol: to the last sentence! Too funny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I have, but it was in an appropriate context. My parents gave me some mapbooks for Christmas and as I was opening the package they said that I might already have them. Sure enough, I did have some of them, but it turned out that they didn't, so I gave the ones I already had to them. It was kind of funny actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cara Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 :iagree: to the first sentence. A simple "he's allergic to nuts" can turn into a person wanting to know how allergic, and if he'll DIE if he touches etc etc...not a fun convo in front of the ALLERGIC child...he can HEAR folks!:glare: (not that I talk like that irl...I would give it away secretly...unless it was opened nuts, like homemade baked goods) And, :lol::lol::lol: to the last sentence! Too funny!!! I agree too. I would only hand it back though if there was a peanut warning on the package. But I would also explain that we have a peanut allergy and do not allow peanut products in our house. It's either give it back or throw it away. But it wouldn't be coming home with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saja1029 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) "I have, but it was in an appropriate context. My parents gave me some mapbooks for Christmas and as I was opening the package they said that I might already have them. Sure enough, I did have some of them, but it turned out that they didn't, so I gave the ones I already had to them. It was kind of funny actually. " Yes, but your parents or immediate family are entirely different, IMO. Edited December 21, 2010 by saja1029 Tried to quote and messed it up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Wow, that was very rude. Maybe she had a lapse in awareness and didn't recognize it was a present??:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Okay, if you don't mind I'm going to start believing that of a lot of people. By all means! :iagree: to the first sentence. A simple "he's allergic to nuts" can turn into a person wanting to know how allergic, and if he'll DIE if he touches etc etc...not a fun convo in front of the ALLERGIC child...he can HEAR folks!:glare: (not that I talk like that irl...I would give it away secretly...unless it was opened nuts, like homemade baked goods) Exactly. I don't have these sorts of issues in my immediate family, but I know people who do and it can be pretty rough on them in my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. I'm quite sure that's not the case - we know them well enough to know they can have hot chocolate. And there was no mistaking it as a Christmas gift - wrapped in red and green cellophane with a Christmas card. Fortunately, we really like hot chocolate, and will drink it with the chocolate covered pretzels they gave us (which, by the way, is the 3rd batch we've received in as many days. ;)) Edited December 21, 2010 by Susan in TN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saja1029 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I'm quite sure that's not the case - we know them well enough to know they can have hot chocolate. That's too bad, then :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Even so...wouldn't you let the person know?? "Oh, so and so....Thank you, but little Billy is extremely allergic to hot chocolate......" Otherwise, RUDE.... Actually I would have kept quiet about the allergies, thanked them profusely for the lovely gift and as soon as we got home stick the hot chocolate into a drawer for regifting....or trashed them. I never would have told a gift giver that their gift was unwelcome. Of course, there are all those wicked jokes about regifting and being sure you don't return the item you were given....but I figure that if it's not something I want or would use doesn't mean it's not something someone I know wouldn't love. Then MUCH later, if I had a close and ongoing relationship with the gift giver I might casually bring up the food allergy in the hopes that we wouldn't have an awkward moment again in the future, but even if the hint was forgotten I wouldn't want to make them feel badly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I'm quite sure that's not the case - we know them well enough to know they can have hot chocolate. Then maybe her dh bought enough at Sam's Club last year to feed a small country and she resents the fact half of it is still in her pantry despite serving hot cocoa every day for a year? :D Just trying to think of reasonable explanations. I'm well aware that some people are just rude. Did you read about the lady who yelled at me because she didn't know about something because she had been deleting the emails I had sent to the group without reading them? Yeah...like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I promise you I'll drink any hot chocolate you bring me... and I'll share it with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I promise you I'll drink any hot chocolate you bring me... and I'll share it with you. Me too! Not apple cider though, my son is allergic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 She undoubtedly had her reasons for refusing that part of the gift but the point isn't her reasons. The point is that it isn't polite to refuse the gift unless it is really offensive. When you give a gift, presumably the giver is trying to think of the other person to bless them with something that they would enjoy. In return, the giftee should try to think of the other person to bless them with thanks and appreciation even if they might have missed the mark in some ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 She undoubtedly had her reasons for refusing that part of the gift but the point isn't her reasons. The point is that it isn't polite to refuse the gift unless it is really offensive. When you give a gift, presumably the giver is trying to think of the other person to bless them with something that they would enjoy. In return, the giftee should try to think of the other person to bless them with thanks and appreciation even if they might have missed the mark in some ways. It agree, generally speaking. I knew a woman who felt her in-laws sent too many gifts to her kids for Christmas so she boxed them up and sent them back. THAT was unspeakably rude and there is just no way around it. She also had her feelings hurt when the in-laws didn't want to come see them for Christmas. I wasn't the least bit surprised. But, this time of year with so much back and forth and such, maybe the woman didn't realize it was being offered as a gift? Is that possible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Did you read about the lady who yelled at me because she didn't know about something because she had been deleting the emails I had sent to the group without reading them? Yeah...like that. Maybe she had to get up from the computer really quickly because she was about to have ED and she accidentally hit the "delete" button. Every. Time. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe she had to get up from the computer really quickly because she was about to have ED and she accidentally hit the "delete" button. Every. Time. ;) Maybe! That would explain her crappy attitude. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I try really hard to think of the best possible reason for something and then just assign it to the person. It makes my life more pleasant. For example, I assume people who cut me off in traffic have explosive diarrhea and could not possibly have waited that extra couple of seconds. Hee! Our standard explanation is that there is a pregnant woman on fire in the back seat, but yours is better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe! That would explain her crappy attitude. ;) Absolutely! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 It agree, generally speaking. I knew a woman who felt her in-laws sent too many gifts to her kids for Christmas so she boxed them up and sent them back. THAT was unspeakably rude and there is just no way around it. She also had her feelings hurt when the in-laws didn't want to come see them for Christmas. I wasn't the least bit surprised. But, this time of year with so much back and forth and such, maybe the woman didn't realize it was being offered as a gift? Is that possible? I am absolutely sure she didn't mean to be rude. I'm just more than a little surprised at her response. I'm going to chalk it up to extreme stress. :ack2: BTW, your Douglas Adams quote is one of my all time favorites! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I would assume that the family has issues with allergies or food sensitivities. I wouldn't. If that was the case, though, it was still incredibly rude. If there were allergies or food sensitivities, she should have politely accepted it and later discretely (sp?) thrown it away or given it away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I am absolutely sure she didn't mean to be rude. I'm just more than a little surprised at her response. I'm going to chalk it up to extreme stress. :ack2: Extreme stress due to explosive diarrhea caused by over-consumption of hot cocoa? :D BTW, your Douglas Adams quote is one of my all time favorites! Thanks! I love Douglas Adams. That line resonates with me in a way I just cannot adequately express. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Never happened to me. That is crazy-rude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 If I can say, "Thank you so much!" and pretend to love my cane, then anyone should be able to do the same for a box of hot chocolate. (see this thread about horrible gifts.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 If I can say, "Thank you so much!" and pretend to love my cane, then anyone should be able to do the same for a box of hot chocolate. (see this thread about horrible gifts.) Yeah - and thanks a lot for making me laugh so hard I got tea up my nose :D. "Extreme stress due to explosive diarrhea caused by over-consumption of hot cocoa?" :D I don't think I'll be able to look at her in the face again :ohmy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe this wouldn't be rude in indochina? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 That's just rude. If you have allergies or whatever, there are a million other more appropriate ways to get rid of it. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe this wouldn't be rude in indochina? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Haven't read all the responses, but I think it's rude. Even if you don't want/need something, graciously take the gift, and then either regift it, donate it, or pass it onto someone else you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Maybe this wouldn't be rude in indochina? Haha, that was my first thought! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 a) RUDE and knew it b) RUDE and didn't realize it c) GOOD reason for action, but didn't articulate well at all Whatever the reason, a good motto to live by is Proverbs 19:11-- "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 (edited) My aunt and cousins were like that, but way worse. Every Christmas, my grandma would spends days trying to find just the right gifts for everyone. She really tried hard. As my aunt and cousins opened their gifts, their responses would usually run along the lines of, "This is going back" or "Yuck! This is horrible!" Every single year. Sometimes my aunt would even comment on other people's gifts and ask my Grandma what she was thinking to buy us such things. I remember being extremely upset about that even as a young child. It was a happy day when they moved across the country and no longer showed up for Christmas. Oh, I forgot another story. So we're at my now SIL's bachelorette party and we are going around saying something that is unique about ourselves (don't ask, I wasn't in charge and thought it was kinda weird). So her SIL says, "I sold the fish plates that you gave me for my wedding this morning at my garage sale. I only used them once because they were hideous. I still don't know why you gave them to me." Man, I sure wish that girl could be MY SIL. ETA: I have received many gifts that made me cringe on the inside, but I either donated them to charity, regifted them, or silently returned them if I was given a gift receipt. I have accepted many a horrible gift in my time, but I would never say something to the person. Edited December 21, 2010 by lisamarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I love the holidays on WTM! :D :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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