Need to ask a question...No flames please

[Nakia]

Our AWANA leaders are planning a lunch on Sunday to celebrate Christmas and a little party for the kids next week. We were talking about the menu (decided on taco salad for the lunch), and no matter what we suggested one mom said she would have to go to McDonald's to get her kids something. Her kids are 8 and 12. She said her 8 year old literally eats only 6 things, and she named the things. The only two things that weren't processed carbs were bananas and yogurt. And the only thing he drinks is chocolate milk. And her 12 year old is a newly diagnosed insulin dependent diabetic. I'm sorry, but I cannot wrap my head around that. My kids pretty much eat anything. I know I am blessed and perhaps my kids are the exception. My 7 year old is my pickiest, but it varies from day to day what she will eat. And she really doesn't outright refuse food, but some days she "doesn't like" chili or spaghetti, or whatever, even though she ate it the week before. It's just her personality to be contrary. Our solution is, "Okay, if you don't want chili tonight, you can have oatmeal." Most days she eats what I cook, no problems. We also have a policy that you have to try one bite before you decide you don't like something.

 

So this concept of a child eating only a hand-full of unhealthy foods is foreign to me. Do you all have kids like this? What is the reason they eat only certain (and mostly unhealthy foods)? Is it a sensory/texture thing? Is is because that's what they have been allowed to do? In other words, is a discipline issue? I'm not trying to sound snarky; I am honestly curious. I can understand that if they don't like something they just don't, but to refuse all but 6 foods seems a bit outrageous. And to remedy that by buying something from McDonald's seems even more outrageous, especially for a 12 year old diabetic.

 

Thoughts?

[Chris in VA]

IDK, but I will say that I truly believe there is something in McD's food that is addictive. Not some secret ingredient or anything, I just am well-aware that I always want it the next day when I eat it, particularly the fries and the burgers. I think one day they will find it triggers something in the brain of food addicts!

Yeah, it sounds nutso. :001_smile: But I'm totally serious.

(Not to derail the thread or anything, just a comment and a bump of sorts)

[mommaduck]

I've known kids like this and it's usually due to a lazieness on the parents part...they simply don't want to argue with the kid or hear their kid whine...forget any push of parental authority, teaching good eating habits, and teaching courtesy of eating what is served. It annoys me and I have to say that that is NOT something I would cater to. If it were a food allergy issue, that would be different. This obviously is not the case. If her child is allowed to get away with being that picky, then she should bring their food. What if 50% of the people had kids that behaved like that and they all wanted accommodating? You just can't do it. Tough Love on this one, honey.

[Carrie12345]

Well, I have a 12yo picky eater who used to be a million times worse than he is now. I'm talking actual vomiting and food strikes (when I wouldn't provide alternatives). None of the rest of my kids are like that, so I absolutely do chalk it up to his Asperger's diagnosis and not my parenting choices. If my other kids were like that, I think I'd have to take the blame!

 

FWIW, even with "legitimate" food issues, I NEVER put that issue on other people's shoulders. Of course, I never used McDonald's as a go-to solution, either! If I suspected my child would have a problem with the menu somewhere, I'd make sure he ate before or after (without announcing it) and mind his manners in that regard at the event.

[AK_Mom4]

I will say that I have seen many children over the years who have sensory issues that exhibit this type of "pickiness". I'm not saying that's up with the younger kid, but it is something that shows up when there are other things going on.

 

Having her bring food for her kids is a good solution since her kids are on limited diets for whatever reason. I wouldn't feel bad about it at all since she offered.

[FaithManor]

I have one that would be that way if I allowed it. But, I don't. A wise doctor told me once that children will not starve themselves to death. So, if all that is offered day after day after day is healthy fare, they will develop some things they like and willingly eat them. So, though I have a child with the junkfood junkie personality, he eats decently though maybe not a huge variety. He eats enough that it isn't a problem to feed him at church events, etc.

 

I don't think the church needs to accomodate this child and as far as the juvenile diabetes of the sibling, the mother should be bringing her own food anyway. Depending on what her insulin levels are that day, would depend on if the child should eat the taco salad. Though it sounds healthy and is for most people, beans are high in carbs, and many of the dressings commonly used on taco salads contain sugar and high fructose corn syrup....very, very bad for this particular child. So, the mother should be monitoring the child's insulin throughout the day and then planning what to bring to Awana accordingly.

 

Faith

[Mert]

FWIW, even with "legitimate" food issues, I NEVER put that issue on other people's shoulders. Of course, I never used McDonald's as a go-to solution, either! If I suspected my child would have a problem with the menu somewhere, I'd make sure he ate before or after (without announcing it) and mind his manners in that regard at the event.

 

Same here... ds has some sensory issues especially regarding food, and we bring his food everywhere we go. It's just a given. I'll serve him from what is provided at the party or friend's house or restaurant, but I always have his meal packed JIC. Luckily, the dozen or so things that he chooses to eat are mostly fruits and veggies (and any cracker or chip in sight!) With a child that truly does have some sort of eating issues, they do have the ability to completely refuse food to their detriment. I'm not sure what we would do if he only wanted sugar cereal and hot dogs.

[Dinsfamily]

I have a very picky eater and do make a couple of allowances for him but not to that degree. My ds6 has some of that contrary personality plus a texture issue. I've learned to distinguish between the two and treat them appropriately. Funny, I can't think of any texture issues right now but it does come up. I'll usually allow him to skip that portion of the meal. It's a pretty rare occurence these days. If he's just being contrary, he eats it. His hunger reflex is pretty strong now that he's growing so tall and he knows there aren't any other choices. If we hadn't been so strict with him, he'd happily consist on a diet of chicken nuggets, green apples, quesadillas, and yoghurt...oh, and pizza. He wouldn't even eat macaroni or spaghetti at first. Now, he loves them.

 

I'm sure other dc have bigger issues with texture but I don't think McDonald's would be the answer. Sounds like that's more of a family habit.

[Ibbygirl]

In my case, my son is profoundly Autistic and has horrible sensory issues. He's one of those kids that only eats very few things. I've tried to get him to eat other things, but he just can't tolerate them. He literally gags and throws up. He just can't. He lives on Cheerios, green apples, bananas, DiGiorno's Pepperoni pizza and apple juice. Sometimes if I'm lucky I can get him to eat white rice, but he won't eat any proteins with it so I almost prefer that he eats the pizza. :(

[BMW]

I agree that these children shouldn't be catered to. Go with what is best for the group and let the mom continue to deal with her children's dietary fussiness.

 

I do understand, to some degree. My asperger son does not tolerate the texture of anything fried. I think I might fry something a few times a year, though. He will not eat eggs. I have him try just the smallest bite about 4 times a year. He will usually eat the meals that I prepare, though. He had so many food allergies for the first 7 years of his life that he is truly thankful to eat a variety of things now!!

 

But, I wouldn't expect a group of kids to cater to pickiness... allergies are one thing... stuck on junk food or just liking a hand full of food items is another thing and doesn't seem right to present to a group.

[Julie in Austin]

The idea of a kid being picky seems normal to me.

 

The idea of a mother regularly buying fast food for a picky kid does not.

 

If that were my kid, I'd announce at the meeting that there were only two things that he would eat (because I wouldn't buy the other four except very rarely) and I would bring him some bananas and yogurt.

[MariannNOVA]

A wise doctor told me once that children will not starve themselves to death. Faith

 

 

I agree with what the others have said, and above in red, is what I was told 30 years ago by our wonderful pediatrician and I repeat it constantly - STILL!

 

When my kids were eating a steady fare of junk, to be honest, it was totally so EASY for me! I knew they would eat, I could tell myself they had eaten (and threfore had been nourished), the behavior issues, well, I would ignore those - I mean how could FOOD cause those issues? :banghead:, and the cycle continued.

 

So, yes, there are families out there who do just what Nakia described and there are families who don't. There are kids who can eat less than nourishing food and not be affected behaviorly by it - there are kids like mine who go ballistic after a burger and fries at McD's (which by the way, we are coming up on the three year mark of being fast-food-free).

 

I think that parents who do this with their kids (and I am talking about the extreme here - similar to the mom Nakia wrote about) develop a co-dependent relationship with their kids regarding food and meals - and it continues.

 

Don't flame me, either -- not in the mood for it, and I have stood there and heard too many moms and dads (remember I am a former classroom teacher) say exactly the same thing: 'My kid only eats this' (and THIS is cr*p).

 

ETA: I am not talking about sensory issues in my answer -- that is an area that is totally unknown to me and I defer to those who are familiar with it. I am talking about parents who are lazy as far as feeding their children.

[Kim in Appalachia]

She always has been. She only likes bland, starchy foods (and chocolate :D). But she will also eat most veggies, just not squash (She hates it!). She will it some apples, she favors Yellow Delicious. She doesn't like any other fruit, even bananas. She can't stand any dish with strong flavors. She has been this was since she was an infant. She would not eat any solid food until 7 months, and even then she would only eat rice cereal (not the other types). It took till 9 months to get her to eat anything else, and then it was things like corn or potatoes.

 

For a picky eater, she eats well, but we have always made her. She certainly has more than 8 things that she will eat. And her milk does not need to be chocolate to drink it. My one son will not drink milk, but he was always allergic to it. He drinks soy milk without a problem.

 

All of my kids have things they don't like. My oldest is not fond of fruit, but will eat any veggie and loves spicy food. My oldest son tolerates veggies, but would like to live off of fruit. He would stop eating most grains and meats if I let him. My other 2 boys are normal little boys. My youngest always says he hates vegetables, unless it's one he likes, then he says it's not really a vegetable. :D

 

They have all been taught, if they don't like what is served then they can go hungry (after they try a bite).

[mommaduck]

Okay, I have to ask, because the cases I know of are with special needs children now that I think about it, but the parents really have admitted that they just "don't want to fight or hear them whine". So the only things two boys I know would eat was Chef boy r dee, cheese puffs, and fruit loops...everyday! And the other child will only eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs (cheap ones), and mashed potatoes with corn starch gravy. I have a special needs brother with many of the same issues, and would be the same way except my folks won't cater to it and because of that he learned that he will eat what's there.

 

Question is :what would you do if this was all your child would eat. Would you cave or would you find a way to make them eat better? How?

 

Edited: I was typing while others were posting, so some already answered this.

Edited December 10, 2010 by mommaduck

[MomOfOneFunOne]

The only thing my daughter will absolutely not (knowingly) touch is boiled broccoli. She had dinner at a friend's and they had, among other things, boiled broccoli (but boiled broccoli was the only thing she'd never had before), and that night she was horribly, violently ill. She now thinks she's allergic to boiled broccoli. I dont' like it either -- we're generally steamed broccoli ppl.

 

I just can't imagine a world in which I would cater to that kind of pickiness, though. I tend to agree with those who say a kid won't starve herself to death.

[littlebug42]

I have two children that are picky in different ways although not to the extent that they only eat 6 processed items. DD9 is starting now to branch into new foods and will willingly try more things now. DD7 currently doesn't want to eat anything with sauce on it but will eat salad until it is coming out her ears. I do not make separate meals for anyone. I design my meals such that there is something on the plate that everyone enjoys. If we are having pasta, I will pull out some noodles before saucing for her but that is the only accommodation I will truly make. I am not a parent that forces my kids to eat things they don't like. My dh was made to do that when he was a kid and he still has food issues. I want them to eat more but they have been this way from the beginning. I think there is just some personality issue at work there.

 

When it comes to outings though, if there will be snack somewhere or food, my kids have been instructed from the beginning that if there is nothing they like, they are to say "No, Thank You" and if necessary, I will get them something else when we get home. If we are going somewhere for dinner where I am not certain they will eat, I feed them before hand but I don't make a big deal out of it.

[Parrothead]

I have one child (5) who will eat almost anything. I have another (8) who will only eat meat, eggs, some sandwiches, and cereal. I hate it. He won't eat a single vegetable or fruit. Last time I encouraged him to just give one a taste (a few days ago) he vomited all over his plate. What do I do with that? On the upside at least most of those things I listed aren't too horrible. I'm not in love with the cereal thing, but I figure that isn't much different than taking vitamins. DS 8 could work with the taco salad (he would eat the meat).

 

I don't know what the deal is. I am pretty no nonsense. I don't force food, but I make one dinner and tell my son it is this or you make a sandwich. That is it. He eats a lot of sandwiches. I don't love it, but if he can't even try a vegetable without throwing up, again, what should I do?

 

That sounds like a sensory issue. I've been working with dd for years to get her "over it." A good OT may help.

[texasmama]

My "picky child" has sensory issues and did the whole "vomit on the plate at Olive Garden" when asked to eat about a teaspoon of chopped brocolli. He was four years old. I understood then that it was not a choice for him and he will never be asked to eat brocolli again. He is ten now. His diet has naturally expanded somewhat as he has gotten older. He has become more willing to try new things.

 

Some kids are picky because parents indulge them and some are picky for other reasons, including neurological reasons that are totally beyond their control. If a parent has not ever had a picky child due to neurological reasons, it is easy to judge. (Not saying that anyone on this thread is doing this.) I experienced judgment about my child's limited diet, even when I explained over and over that it was beyond his control.

 

I have a friend whose child has Asperger's Syndrome, and when he was a toddler he refused to eat anything but processed carbs and dairy. She was advised to give him alternative foods so she tried this. He didn't eat for a couple of days, as I recall. He was three. She didn't know he had a neurological issue involved. Some children will starve themselves - not to death, I wouldn't imagine - but far beyond what most parents can handle. Feeding therapy or OT can help with these issues.

[Parrothead]

Wow, that sounds exactly like my son (never diagnosed with Asperger's but definitely has A LOT of quirks).

Quirks=sensory issues around here. Have you ever taken him in for sensory processing disorder?

[Remudamom]

Parent's fault.

[Chris in VA]

I totally get the sensory thing, and the special needs of kids with autism.

But I guess where I get stuck is, what would they eat if they had never been introduced to the junky foods? I often give advice to my employer, who has a dear little 2 yo--and one of the things I'm so tempted to say is, "Be super-careful of what you feed her and how you get her to go to sleep, as habits are VERY hard to break! If you don't want your kids to choose hotdogs and McD's, don't EVER give them that. If you don't want to lie down with them to get them to sleep, don't EVER do that!" And so on, with other things like that.

 

Who can do that, really? I mean, should parents just assume that there's the possibility that their kids might be sensory-sensitive, or choose junk, or whatever, so they just should NEVER offer that? It's kinda like, don't EVER drink alcohol, because you might be a genetic alcoholic, and start down a path you don't want to go on, with that first drink! (Actually, I DO know some folks that do this one.)

 

I just find it interesting. I guess if I had a kid who refused to eat as a child, and was losing weight, I'd want to offer whatever they'd eat! But how do you GET there, in the first place?

[HRAAB]

It sounds like my nephew. He would only eat hamburgers (meat had to come from a specific store and he would ask to see the pkg), pizza from one particular restaurant, hot dogs (didn't ask to see the pkg, thankfully), corn flakes w/no milk, and saltines. I swear that was it. The kid stayed with me for one week, and by the end of the week I ready to go for someone's throat - mainly my sister's! I can state with certainty, in this case, it was a discipline issue due to my sister being too lazy. Eating habits isn't the only problem area.

 

If it was due to other issues, I'd probably be more sympathetic. I'm seriously worried about this boy's physical and mental health.

 

It's just one day at a luncheon. Be thankful you aren't taking care of the child for a week.

[GWOB]

Well, call me a big meanie, but the policy in my house is if you don't eat what we serve, you starve. I grew up eating horrible things. My parents have horrible eating habits. Our vegetable consisted of canned corn, canned green beans, the occasional canned peas, and the onions/bell peppers my parents always included in their dishes. If we didn't eat dinner, we could always eat chips, Little Debbie snacks, or any selection of the other junk available. Both of my parents are obese, and my mom is a Type-2 Diabetic.

 

I refuse to pass on those unhealthy eating habits to my children. They have no food allergies or sensory issues. They really have no excuse to refuse to eat. I don't make them clean their plates, though we usually serve them small portions. I just refuse to cater to their every whim. Yes, there was crying, whining, gnashing of teeth, children on the brink of death, but I stick with my guns. We have a family history of diabetes,obesity, heart problems, high blood pressure, etc.

 

Now, in your situation, I don't think I would get offended unless the mother insisted you cater to her childrens' desires. It seems as though she is willing to just go out and get them something they will like instead of making everyone else change for her kids. Do I agree with her actions? No, but they aren't my kids, so my opinion doesn't matter.

[texasmama]

I totally get the sensory thing, and the special needs of kids with autism.

But I guess where I get stuck is, what would they eat if they had never been introduced to the junky foods? I often give advice to my employer, who has a dear little 2 yo--and one of the things I'm so tempted to say is, "Be super-careful of what you feed her and how you get her to go to sleep, as habits are VERY hard to break! If you don't want your kids to choose hotdogs and McD's, don't EVER give them that. If you don't want to lie down with them to get them to sleep, don't EVER do that!" And so on, with other things like that.

 

Who can do that, really? I mean, should parents just assume that there's the possibility that their kids might be sensory-sensitive, or choose junk, or whatever, so they just should NEVER offer that? It's kinda like, don't EVER drink alcohol, because you might be a genetic alcoholic, and start down a path you don't want to go on, with that first drink! (Actually, I DO know some folks that do this one.)

 

I just find it interesting. I guess if I had a kid who refused to eat as a child, and was losing weight, I'd want to offer whatever they'd eat! But how do you GET there, in the first place?

 

My picky child (due to sensory issues) doesn't just eat junk. He eats apples, bananas, yogurt, healthy proteins, eggs, peanut butter, cooked carrots in soup, tomato sauce on pasta, pumpkin pie with no crust, etc. His diet just became increasingly narrow as he got older (at about 2-3 years old). He refused to eat pasta with sauce or vegetables of any type. At that point, I gave him what he would eat and would put a small piece of veggie on his plate. My initial goal was to get him to tolerate the offending food on his plate, without even asking him to eat it. During his change from a child who would eat anything to a picky one, I was pg with his little brother and very sick to my stomach. I couldn't cook much or I would be sick. So I blamed myself for his pickiness. I have since come to understand that his pickiness was a result of his neurological issues, not parenting choices.

 

Obviously, people who only feed their kid noodles, fries and applesauce with chicken nuggets and chocolate milk are going to have kids who are more likely to be picky. I always gave my kids a wide variety of foods at a young age. My three other kids were eating salads (and liking them) at the age of two.

 

That is just my perspective and experience. Hope that helps. It is hard to understand if you haven't experienced it.:001_smile:

[RegularMom]

I have a picky eater as well, but like Faith, I don't allow pickiness to escalate into eating only junk food. My 7yo would graze on junky carbs all day if I allowed it, but I just don't. If she says she's hungry, and I suspect she's not really really hungry, but just looking to graze, I say to her, "Have a carrot." And the carrot is the ONLY choice I give her. If she says yes to the carrot, I know she's really hungry, and I give her a carrot. If she says no to the carrot, I know she's not hungry, and she just wanders away.

 

For dinners, she has to take a bite of everything offered. Sometimes, she'll eat everything but the veggies and then say she's full, so at the next meal, all she gets is her veggies first, and she has to eat them first before anything else. Our snacks mostly involve cheese and crackers, fresh fruit, or raisins and nuts. She has no allergies, but sugar can tweek her out, so we really try to limit the high sugar stuff at home so she can enjoy it when she's at social events.

 

This exhausts and frustrates me to no end. But I keep it up. Day in and day out. She has developed a few healthy favorites that I make an effort to serve frequently. She'll eat any fish I put in front of her, and loves fresh steamed broccoli, so I make that stuff a lot. We also have salad at dinner mostly every day. She eats her salad, but nibbles around the edges of her cucumbers because she doesn't like the seeds. (sigh) But, she Eats Her Salad.

 

Nakia, if I were in your situation, what would bother me most is not that the woman needs to bring a separate meal for her child, but that the meal she's bringing is McDonalds. If my kids were there, the minute they saw one kid with McDonalds, they'd want McDonalds too. I don't mind people bringing their own food, but I do mind it when people bring food that will cause a mutiny in the rest of the children present.

 

But, I'm just weird like that. :)

[mommaduck]

but the policy in my house is if you don't eat what we serve, you starve.

Ditto, and ironically, when I would take care of these kids I held to it and they would eventually cave to eating something healthy...maybe not a green vegetable, but other healthier food I provided.

[silliness7]

Our AWANA leaders are planning a lunch on Sunday to celebrate Christmas and a little party for the kids next week. We were talking about the menu (decided on taco salad for the lunch), and no matter what we suggested one mom said she would have to go to McDonald's to get her kids something. Her kids are 8 and 12. She said her 8 year old literally eats only 6 things, and she named the things. The only two things that weren't processed carbs were bananas and yogurt. And the only thing he drinks is chocolate milk. And her 12 year old is a newly diagnosed insulin dependent diabetic. I'm sorry, but I cannot wrap my head around that. My kids pretty much eat anything. I know I am blessed and perhaps my kids are the exception. My 7 year old is my pickiest, but it varies from day to day what she will eat. And she really doesn't outright refuse food, but some days she "doesn't like" chili or spaghetti, or whatever, even though she ate it the week before. It's just her personality to be contrary. Our solution is, "Okay, if you don't want chili tonight, you can have oatmeal." Most days she eats what I cook, no problems. We also have a policy that you have to try one bite before you decide you don't like something.

 

So this concept of a child eating only a hand-full of unhealthy foods is foreign to me. Do you all have kids like this? What is the reason they eat only certain (and mostly unhealthy foods)? Is it a sensory/texture thing? Is is because that's what they have been allowed to do? In other words, is a discipline issue? I'm not trying to sound snarky; I am honestly curious. I can understand that if they don't like something they just don't, but to refuse all but 6 foods seems a bit outrageous. And to remedy that by buying something from McDonald's seems even more outrageous, especially for a 12 year old diabetic.

 

Thoughts?

 

My kids are extraordinarily picky. Well, my oldest boys are. The other kids are normal. Normal to me is that they have a few things they don't like but eat everything else with gusto. I have no idea what went wrong with my boys. I was much stricter about food in the beginning than I am now. (sit at the table til your done, re-heat the dinner for breakfast, no seconds til you've eaten everything, try one bite of everything, take as many bites as your age) None of it worked. I did none of these things with my daughters and they eat fine. Go figure. I'm sure it's something I did but I don't know that I would have done it any differently because I still can't pinpoint the problem.

 

Anyway I have never offered something else if they don't like what's for dinner. I don't keep junk food in the house. It is a rare treat and McD's is an even rarer treat. And I always welcomed opportunities for them to eat with other families hoping that by sheer peer pressure they would open up their palates to other foods. I've pretty much given up on them and hoping that with the teen years they will have hundreds of opportunities to broaden their palates with their friends and crossing my fingers. I was a picky eater as a child (not catered to by my parents) and I grew out of it...though I was not nearly as picky as my boys.

 

So yes, I understand the picky eater thing to the extreme of 6 things. No, I don't understand going to McD's for other food. UNLESS...you mentioned diabetes. My kids are perfectly healthy. My middle son has gone on hunger strikes that have made him vomit from the pain. (that sounds extreme...he has a low tolerance for that kind of thing...and I'm thinking if you would EAT what I serve this wouldn't happen to you) Anyway, if my child had diabetes it would add a whole 'nother dimension to the thing. If my 13 yo (pickiest eater of all) developed juvenile diabetes I would not feel it prudent to let him play havoc with his blood sugar because he's too stubborn to eat what I fixed. I would definitely cave and cater if that were the case. Probably still not Mc'D's...but every family is different.

 

It is very easy to judge other parents and their parenting and to think that if they just did xyz, their kids would be abc. The more children I have the more I learn that that just isn't the case. Kids are very humbling and more kids are more humbling. If I only had my last 4 kids I would think I had the picky eating thing in the bag and if only parents did what I did then their kids would be like my kids. It just isn't true.

When you start mixing in widely varying personalities of 2 parents complete with all their childhood experiences (good and bad) plus the widely varying personalities of their children, their financial situation, their health situation, their support system (or lack of), their ability to handle stress, their life experience and education, their values and convictions...whew. There are so many stinking variables I'm learning it's best to just love people where they are at, help when help is asked for and do the best I can with my own family. I hope that didn't sound too flamey. I'm typing gently. :001_smile:

[GWOB]

Ditto, and ironically, when I would take care of these kids I held to it and they would eventually cave to eating something healthy...maybe not a green vegetable, but other healthier food I provided.

 

Funny how that works.

[vettechmomof2]

Well, as for the Type 1 diabetes NOTHING he ate caused this. And he doesn't need to eat a special diet of any sort but because he is newly diagnosed it "might" just be easier for her to stick to regular foods that already have the carb counts figured out for her.

 

For her son with Type 1 diabetes she needs to count carbs (not watch them just count). That means either guessing the amount in the salad and since this is new to them it might be to overwhelming.

 

As for pickiness of eating, I have seen many children with sensory issues that cannot tolerate even the smell of certain foods at times. However, if she wants to attend a group party then she should participate in the bringing of a type of food item that her children like. She might just be stating that instead of bringing something she would prefer to follow up at McD's later.

 

Not trying to be mean about the explanation for Type 1 but just expanding knowledge that it has nothing to do with what this child ate or continues to eat. There are certain foods that can be more difficult for others to bolus for properly but with time this family will learn what works for them.

 

My children do not have any pickyness about foods BUT I feed them healthy foods that I know they love/enjoy. They LOVE mushed squash, plain. They do not like it with anything added to it. If someone makes them something with squash people always dress it up with cinnamon and other items like that so my children with take the smallest amount that is considered by me to not be rude but that is all.

[silliness7]

I'm looking for practical advice. What should I do when my kid doesn't eat for days, steals food in the middle of the night, and vomits on his plate? I am being serious. No I don't give in with McDonald's but food issues around here are BAD with him (nobody else). I think some people truly do not understand a situation like this unless they are in it.

 

:grouphug: Now I'm reading the other responses. I have no advice (obviously :001_smile:) Just commiserating. It sucks and it is frustrating when people give their...."this is what I do and my kids eat just fine advice." Well Good For You! :tongue_smilie:

[Mandy in TN]

I do think people are born liking some foods better than others and that tastes change. However, pickiness, allergies, and preferences would be a large part of why I hate to cook.

 

My dh is Persian. He likes tumeric, curry, garlic (whole, pickled, etc. will eat them straight), and onions- lots of onions (will eat them like an apple). He is not a meat and three kind of guy. He likes greasy, spicy, soupy, mushy. He prefers rice to potatoes, but will eat either. He loves fruit- all fruit. He doesn't like milk or chocolate. If he wants dessert, he is usually talking about something with apples.

 

My oldest is lactose intolerant and onions come right back up. Spicy foods make his sit in the bathroom moaning. He is a meat and three kind of guy. When dh cooks, he won't even come out of his room. He says the smell of the onions cooking makes him feel sick. He prefers potatoes to rice, but will eat either. He eats your basic apples, bananas, oranges, strawberries and watermelon, but no unusual or foreign fruits. He will eat all kinds of desserts even ice cream that he knows he will pay for latter. Thankfully, he loves apple pie.

 

So, just in my dh and my oldest I can't make a meal that they will both like, but at least they can have apple pie together and we haven't even gotten to my picky eater.

 

The only meat middle ds will eat is chicken. He doesn't like spicy or any kind of mixed together foods. He prefers his foods don't touch, so you would think that he would be a meat and three guy but with only chicken. However, he has a very limited number of vegetables that he will eat. He will eat rice grudgingly, but will not eat potatoes. On his not eat list is corn- one thing that everyone else in the house will eat. He is not a sweet eater and doesn't care if there is dessert at all. He also doesn't care for fruit. After all it is sweet. He will choose not to eat rather than eat something that he doesn't like.

 

The little guy doesn't like spicy (most little kids don't), but other than that he eats almost anything. Unfortunately, he only eats about two bites and then he is full. He is 8yo and weighs less than 45 lbs fully clothed.

 

The only thing I can make that everyone will eat is bland baked chicken with rice and while everyone will eat it, it is no one's favorite.

 

However, I agree with the pp. When we go places, I don't attempt to have them try to make something my family will like. My family knows to be polite eat what they will eat. If they are still hungry, they can eat later at home.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[vettechmomof2]

 

I don't think the church needs to accomodate this child and as far as the juvenile diabetes of the sibling, the mother should be bringing her own food anyway. Depending on what her insulin levels are that day, would depend on if the child should eat the taco salad. Though it sounds healthy and is for most people, beans are high in carbs, and many of the dressings commonly used on taco salads contain sugar and high fructose corn syrup....very, very bad for this particular child. So, the mother should be monitoring the child's insulin throughout the day and then planning what to bring to Awana accordingly.

 

Faith

People who have Type 1 diabetes can eat anything that you do but carbs need to be covered with insulin, Your body will naturally give the right amount of insulin when you eat a bean salad but my daughters does not make insulin anymore so I need to have her insulin pump give that to her when she eats a carbohydrate. We do not need to eat special food at all other than the normal food that everyone else should eat.

Again, Type 1 diabetes was not caused by anything this child ate. It is a autoimmune condition.

When carbs are eaten then insulin needs to be given.

[Wheres Toto]

My son is very picky with sensory issues - this is a kid that won't even try a new candy or junk food. My oldest was "normally" picky as a young child, my youngest will eat just about anything. I'm surprised that greasy, nasty McD's burgers would be acceptable to a picky eater. :tongue_smilie: Neither of my younger ones eat anything at McD's except french fries and they prefer Wendy's since they are not as salty.

 

For my son, his likes are the typical, bland foods - mac&cheese, peanut butter, pancakes, pasta, corn. He will eat apples and bananas so we keep them on hand. Since one of his favorites is pasta with tomato sauce DH makes the sauce by adding mushrooms, onions, squash, zuccini, letting it cook for long enough for the veggies to get very soft, then pureeing the kid's portion before putting it on the pasta. Since the flavor is still pretty bland and the texture smooth - ds will eat it without a problem. This means we end up eating pasta 2 to 3 times a week in some form. I've also made their (boxed) macaroni & cheese using carrot juice in place of some of the milk.

 

I don't expect anyone else to try and accomodate ds's pickiness. If we will only be somewhere for a limited time, he just won't eat until we get home. If it's an all-day thing, I may bring something for him (usually cheese and crackers to avoid bringing peanut butter).

Edited December 10, 2010 by dottieanna29

[Nakia]

Listen, I am not offended or being judgmental, as some have suggested. As I said in my earlier post, I am just curious and not being snarky at all. I'm sorry for those of you whose children really have sensory issues that make it impossible to eat certain foods. I cannot imagine how hard that would be. I appreciate the responses.

[Nakia]

People who have Type 1 diabetes can eat anything that you do but carbs need to be covered with insulin, Your body will naturally give the right amount of insulin when you eat a bean salad but my daughters does not make insulin anymore so I need to have her insulin pump give that to her when she eats a carbohydrate. We do not need to eat special food at all other than the normal food that everyone else should eat.

Again, Type 1 diabetes was not caused by anything this child ate. It is a autoimmune condition.

When carbs are eaten then insulin needs to be given.

 

Exactly right.

[Guest Kim Ohio]

I have an eight year old niece who will only eat Cheerios and Spaghettio's....that's it....every day. I don't understand it either :confused:

[vettechmomof2]

Listen, I am not offended or being judgmental, as some have suggested. As I said in my earlier post, I am just curious and not being snarky at all. I'm sorry for those of you whose children really have sensory issues that make it impossible to eat certain foods. I cannot imagine how hard that would be. I appreciate the responses.

 

I did not want you to think that I was being mean with my responses. It is hard sometimes when the Type 1 condition being compared with the food issues comes up. Sometimes I cannot keep my mouth shut. We have had some extremely rude responses to my daughter because she has Type 1 and everyone believes they know about the disease because it has a similar name to Type 2 diabetes. It was a rough week for us with that and I was being extra sensitive.

[FaithManor]

RegularMom, I agree with what you said about the McD's. My kids would be in that boat...wanting what they've got because McD's is a rare treat...just that, rare. We do it for fun on a road trip and then eat a bunch of healthy snacks out of our packed foods.

 

This isn't a matter of food allergies. Most children with food allergies can't eat fast food...too many hidden ingredients. So, I'd be concerned about how to present this to the other children and parents.

 

Faith

[GWOB]

Listen, I am not offended or being judgmental, as some have suggested. As I said in my earlier post, I am just curious and not being snarky at all. I'm sorry for those of you whose children really have sensory issues that make it impossible to eat certain foods. I cannot imagine how hard that would be. I appreciate the responses.

 

Oh, I didn't mean to insult you! I just deal with the same type of mom at church. She expects the whole church to accomodate her child's eating habits. It gets a bit old.

[Catwoman]

OWe were talking about the menu (decided on taco salad for the lunch), and no matter what we suggested one mom said she would have to go to McDonald's to get her kids something.

 

Well, on the bright side, at least the mom is willing to go the extra mile and take care of her own children's dietary "restrictions" by bringing her own food for them.

 

I've known parents who thought the world should bend over backward because the menu included one item that their kids didn't like (so, clearly, no one else should be allowed to have it, either.) They never offered to bring their own food; they just assumed they could change the entire menu to accommodate their own kids' tastes. :glare:

 

So... at least the woman is taking responsibility for her own kids' quirks... even if she has no common sense whatsoever. I mean, she already has one diabetic child; shouldn't that make her extra-diligent with the entire family's diets??? :confused: I can't really imagine how this kid got into the habit of the Happy Meal and Junk Food Diet unless her mom's idea of mealtime was a visit to the drive-through window, or a call to Domino's or the Chinese delivery places. She had to have been exposed to the stuff frequently for it to be "the only thing she'll eat."

 

 

Cat

[FaithManor]

Vettechmomof2, I was not inferring that anything the mother fed the child led this child to become type 1. I was referring to the fact that if she doesn't prepare the food herself, counting those carbs can be a problem and it might not be wise for the child to eat that meal anyway. I stick by my assertation that regardless of whether or not one is giving enough insulin to accomodate the carbs, it is absolutely, fundamentally bad for a type 1 diabetic to partake of cane sugar and high fructose corn syrup which is many times in taco sauces, salad dressings, and even in canned beans....many, many brands of beans are canned with sugar or HCFS.

 

I am sorry that you thought that I was blaming the child's type one on the mom. I fully understand that it is an autoimmune disorder. But, I also have done very extensive nutritional research and know that this child should not eat the meal provided unless the staff preparing it is going to coordinate with the mom to provide brands of sauces and ingredients that do not contain these items.

 

Faith

[Nakia]

I did not want you to think that I was being mean with my responses. It is hard sometimes when the Type 1 condition being compared with the food issues comes up. Sometimes I cannot keep my mouth shut. We have had some extremely rude responses to my daughter because she has Type 1 and everyone believes they know about the disease because it has a similar name to Type 2 diabetes. It was a rough week for us with that and I was being extra sensitive.

 

I didn't think you were being mean at all. It is extremely important to educate people about Type 1 diabetes because many people are uninformed about it. I appreciate your responses. I have been a nurse a long time, and so much as changed in the treatment of Type 1 over the years. When I first became a nurse, everyone got sliding scale insulin based on what their glucose was before a meal. Now we do carb counts and give insulin based on that.

 

Oh, I didn't mean to insult you! I just deal with the same type of mom at church. She expects the whole church to accomodate her child's eating habits. It gets a bit old.

 

You didn't insult me; I just wanted to clarify. I certainly don't pass judgment on this mom. She is a wonderful mother, and I know she probably just does the best she can. It is just very different to me, and I am trying to understand. I didn't want to ask her because I was afraid she might take it as an insult. Her daughter is newly diagnosed with diabetes, so it's a very difficult time for her. I tend to think it is just easier to get her kids what they will eat, no matter if it is healthy or not. Whether or not I agree with that is not the issue. It's none of my business.

[mommaduck]

We were talking about the menu (decided on taco salad for the lunch), and no matter what we suggested one mom said she would have to go to McDonald's to get her kids something.

As long as she wasn't passive-aggressively trying to get you to change the menu ;)

[RegularMom]

This isn't a matter of food allergies. Most children with food allergies can't eat fast food...too many hidden ingredients.

 

Faith

 

Yes. Exactly. If I were in this situation, I'd have no qualms telling the mom that I completely understood her desire to bring a separate meal for her children, but that McDonalds would not be permitted. It causes too much strife among the other kids, and it's also just not healthy.

 

We keep McDonalds as a rare treat, and one that's getting rarer and rarer by the year. When we have to drive long distances in the car now, I plan ahead. I make homemade rolls and pack those with cheeses and nut butters and add in fruits and veggies precut into snackable sizes. I also add in some cold cuts, if I have them. And that's our dinner. And lots of ice water to drink. We drive the 2 hours home grazing on this stuff and everyone feels good and satiated.

 

I get that some kids have sensory issues. I have a child who's sensory-oriented. But she eats a wide range of healthy foods. If there's something she balks at, we can usually find some sort of healthy replacement for it. Never have we found that McDonald's was the only thing that would do.

 

Never.

 

I mean... REALLY.

[unsinkable]

RegularMom, I agree with what you said about the McD's. My kids would be in that boat...wanting what they've got because McD's is a rare treat...just that, rare. We do it for fun on a road trip and then eat a bunch of healthy snacks out of our packed foods.

 

This isn't a matter of food allergies. Most children with food allergies can't eat fast food...too many hidden ingredients. So, I'd be concerned about how to present this to the other children and parents.

Faith

 

How about something like this:

 

"We're eating taco salad. X's family made a different choice."

[Parrothead]

 

I just find it interesting. I guess if I had a kid who refused to eat as a child, and was losing weight, I'd want to offer whatever they'd eat! But how do you GET there, in the first place?

We are not big fast food eaters so I don't think dd would have ever developed what Nakia described in her OP. Dd got to to where it became a problem because I let her. She wanted a snack, I offered a banana. She refused the banana and I handed her a yogurt cup. Stewed apples were a side with dinner and she vomited up the first bite of apples. I gave her baby carrots instead. I can only assume that at some point the parent gave up and went to McD's so the kid had something for dinner that night.

 

But after working with her, and we have rules and such about new foods, dd will eat apples, bananas, strawberries, pomegranates and oranges. She still cannot tolerate the texture of eggs in any manner and won't eat any other fruit.

 

I would only recommend doing homemade OT in extreme cases. One could easily mess up one's kid further. Unfortunately we've always lived in small towns long ways away from civilization. Things like therapists were several hours round trip. So I had to really educate myself about SPD and ways to help. The internet was a Godsend in this case.

[Denisemomof4]

I feel very sad for those kids. I also wouldn't change the party plans because one family is causing issues with the food. Allergies are one thing. Not LIKING food another. Let her go to McDonalds. How sad for those kids.

 

I serve one meal. If you don't like it, don't eat it. Make yourself a sandwich or get a bowl of cereal. Dh and I both cook and make ONE meal.

 

We know ds15 doesn't like zucchini. He can either pick his out or not have what ever dish it was put in. Sometimes I grind it up small so he can't see it and I'll hide the flavor with a dressing, etc. He's never had a problem with that.:tongue_smilie:

 

Ds18 is dating a vegetarian and now he's not eating meat. He can eat the side dishes but dh is a huge carnivore (I hate it!) and if we have meat, I don't go out of my way to cook anything else.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Wow, that sounds exactly like my son (never diagnosed with Asperger's but definitely has A LOT of quirks).

I was going to say that my typical kids eat most everything but some conditions change the rules. There are kids who really will starve themselves to death.

I have one too who is a vegetarian. She dislikes lots of things but will always eat fruits, veg and a starch so she just picks the one or two things she will eat when we go to such an event (ex. she'll eat a tortilla with lettuce and tomato only).

[DaffodilDreams]

I will say that I have seen many children over the years who have sensory issues that exhibit this type of "pickiness". I'm not saying that's up with the younger kid, but it is something that shows up when there are other things going on.

 

You are right about the sensory issues. Mine is one of those, but I have never, never gone the fast food route to get her to eat. If dh and I are having something I know she will have trouble eating, then I make sure to have a healthy option for her available in the two food textures she can tolerate (smooth or crunchy - she does not tolerate chewy textures well).

[Parrothead]

I'm looking for practical advice. What should I do when my kid doesn't eat for days, steals food in the middle of the night, and vomits on his plate? I am being serious. No I don't give in with McDonald's but food issues around here are BAD with him (nobody else). I think some people truly do not understand a situation like this unless they are in it.

Take him to the doctor and explain the food thing and the quirks. What you described is classic SPD. Then get him into therapy.