What's the worst comment you've gotten about homeschooling

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I'm writing a story about someone deciding to homeschool.

 

But either because I'm too scary for people to tell me bad stuff to my face or I've blocked out any negative comments, I'm having trouble with coming up with the spiteful and hurtful things that people might say and do to a new homeschooler.

 

So I'd love to hear the most outlandish, hurtful, ignorant things that friends, family or strangers might have said to you about homeschooling. I will take these as ideas for my antagonists to say.

 

Don't post it if you aren't willing for me to write about it. This is for a work of fiction for NaNoWriMo.

[Farrar]

A friend of my mother's, after meeting me for like five seconds, implied that I was a child abuser to my mother because I was homeschooling. To my face, she just pursed her lips and said nothing in that silence speaks volumes kind of way, but once I left the room to put the kids to bed (it was a small party at my mother's house), she apparently brought it up. Oy.

[Daisy]

I was standing in line at Costco with my kids. We were buying treats for a Valentine homeschool party. An elderly lady right behind me asked me why my kids weren't in school and I told her.

 

She replied, "I don't believe in THAT. My children are doctors and lawyers, and your children are going to amount to nothing."

 

:cursing:

 

She said this right in front of my children! There was an audible gasp from everyone around me.

 

I've had other snide comments but I think that has been the one that p!ssed me off the most.

 

But really I think the most hurtful words have been from close friends and family who just choose to constantly nip at it. They are never outright rude, but never let up on the back-handed comments.

Edited November 9, 2010 by Daisy

[Cricket]

Like Daisy said, the backhanded, constant nipping comments are bad. My mil has finally stopped telling my dc that maybe one day they will get to go to regular school. :glare: I had a retired school teacher whom I had just met corner me at a party and question my credentials ("Why do you think you are qualified?" "Have you been trained to teach?") and then proceed to give me a lecture on how homeschooling needed to be more regulated. Having been raised in the Midwest, I just chalked it up to him being a rude New Yorker. :D

[mytwomonkeys]

fortunately, i've not heard anything too outlandish. i've had a few occasions though, where it's not *what* was said to me, but more-so the tone in which it was spoken... almost condescending, as if they were telling me new information that i had never actually thought through or mulled over, ykwim? their tone seemed to insinuate that my husband and i just hastily made this decision, but didn't really think it through or do any kind of research. it's really rather insulting.

Edited November 9, 2010 by mytwomonkeys

[TxMama]

My SIL informed us, "Homeschooling hurts children's brains." :lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

It was right after a Law and Order episode where an abusive homeschooling family were "homeschooling" in order to get away with literally murder. A mom in my neighborhood asked me what I thought of the episode. I told her that I thought that it was sensational like many of their episodes are. She told me, "Well, I think it depicted homeschoolers quite accurately." Obviously she thought that I was an abusive homeschooler just waiting to get away with murder. I used to take walks by her house but then she would call my house demanding to know if an adult was home while I was on my walk.:cursing: She made me very nervous - if anyone would have called CPS on me for an imagined offense, it would have been her. I was doing a happy dance when she moved!

[Sophia]

I'm writing a story about someone deciding to homeschool.

 

But either because I'm too scary for people to tell me bad stuff to my face or I've blocked out any negative comments, I'm having trouble with coming up with the spiteful and hurtful things that people might say and do to a new homeschooler.

 

 

 

People never say anything to me either except innocent inquiries where I can tell they are asking in the way I would ask someone else about their job.

 

My two older daughters, however, get the third degree from idiot cousins~on their father's side.

A few years ago, their older teen (girl) cousins asked

"So...girls...do you ever, you know, in your homeschool community...do you ever talk to...boys?"

 

My younger daughter, who must have been 8 was sooo confused!:lol:

 

"What? What homeschool community? We have a homeschool community? Of course we talk to boys! Our brothers are boys! What are you talking about?!!"

 

My oldest daughter knew what they were getting at, but refused to say anything because Allison was doing such a good job making them feel like idiots.:smilielol5:

 

We still joke about that day and Allison still wonders what on earth they were talking about.

[CourtneyChn]

I haven't really had many negative comments, to my face at least. But when my oldest was five an older lady that worked at a bookstore asked me when my then 5 year old would be starting school. When I told her I was planning on homeschooling she said, "Oh, that sound sweet. We'll see how long that lasts." :001_huh:

 

Another lady in a yarn shop told me that my kids would never be able to get anywhere on time or be able to take timed tests.

[Gratia271]

I have repeatedly heard the line about not being qualified because I don't have a teaching license. I tell them they are right. After all, I only have a license to practice law. :lol:

[Pretty in Pink]

My dh and I went to dinner with another couple once (the wife and I were new friends but our dh's had never met). During the main course my friend's dh said, "Oh, so you guys are the ones that homeschool?" One of us confirmed his statement. Then he said something about how he would never consider homeschooling because he wouldn't want his kids to be "freaks" or "nerds" (his words, seriously). I sort of tried to laugh it off and said, "I always thought we were pretty normal...ha ha ha..." and he proceeded to inform me that my son was definitely weird because he was too quiet, liked to play with kids younger than him (my ds was all of 7 at the time), and spent too much time reading. Alrighty then... :001_huh:

[catz]

I have repeatedly heard the line about not being qualified because I don't have a teaching license. I tell them they are right. After all, I only have a license to practice law. :lol:

 

ROFL! :lol: Love it. My husband and I only have engineering and math degrees. We don't quite cut it either.

[Gratia271]

My dh and I went to dinner with another couple once (the wife and I were new friends but our dh's had never met). During the main course my friend's dh said, "Oh, so you guys are the ones that homeschool?" One of us confirmed his statement. Then he said something about how he would never consider homeschooling because he wouldn't want his kids to be "freaks" or "nerds" (his words, seriously). I sort of tried to laugh it off and said, "I always thought we were pretty normal...ha ha ha..." and he proceeded to inform me that my son was definitely weird because he was too quiet, liked to play with kids younger than him (my ds was all of 7 at the time), and spent too much time reading. Alrighty then... :001_huh:

 

You mean he liked to play with someone outside his "peer" base? How shameful! I guess my son is odd too then! :tongue_smilie:

[Gratia271]

ROFL! :lol: Love it. My husband and I only have engineering and math degrees. We don't quite cut it either.

 

We are all such slackers!

[PinkInTheBlue]

Not anything directly to me but apparently my ex and/or his family told my boys that they would NEVER get into ANY college because colleges NEVER take homeschoolers. It seems they would only have "mommy grades" and not "real" ones. Who knew?

 

Wow! Why do people even bother opening their mouths when they have NO idea what the heckles they are talking about?! LOL

[JeanM]

When we first started homeschooling, a close relative asked me, "How will your children learn to be bored?" She honestly was concerned about how they would be able to sit through boring meetings as adults, if they hadn't been bored for years in school.

[Gratia271]

When we first started homeschooling, a close relative asked me, "How will your children learn to be bored?" She honestly was concerned about how they would be able to sit through boring meetings as adults, if they hadn't been bored for years in school.

 

That is actually a good question. I often wonder that about my son in particular. He gets rather annoyed in group settings because people don't pick up things like he does and is easily bored because he is so quick to master things. He will have to learn patience with others and how to endure monotony.

[katemary63]

My daughter went to PS her freshman year of high school after homeschooling 6-8th. She didn't like ps for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she thought she was getting a terrible education and wanted to be more challenged. So she came back to homeschool at Christmas of her Sophomore year.

 

Fast forward a year or so. My DD is at the in-laws meeting some relatives from out of state who are visiting for the first time ever. Unfortunately, I wasn't there. "Grandpa" procedes to introduce my DD to them and says.....

 

"Yeah, Kate homeschools. The only reason she quit public school is cuz she's too lazy to get up and catch the bus. All she does all day is watch TV. She just didn't want to do the work and homeschool is a lot easier." He went on and on and said a lot more, but that's the jist of it.

 

My DD was devastated and just quietly left the room. Later, when she came home, she balled her head off. Why would her own grandpa lie about her like that and say such mean things to virtual stangers? Who knows. He's a sick B#$%@&D. Later, my Rock Star DH went over there and ripped him a new one and made him apologize to her but the damage was done. I wish I had been there at the time. I would have humiliated him in front of everyone.

[FO4UR]

Homeschoolers worship knowledge. Yep, stupidity is evidently the holier route.:001_huh:

 

Homeschooling makes for messy houses. This is true btw, but it certainly shows where priorities lie.

[Crimson Wife]

I was at the park one day and chatting with a fellow mom. She was all nicey-nice until she asked where my oldest went to school. When I mentioned that we homeschool, she abruptly walked away without saying another word. Not even "oh" in that disapproving tone of voice that I sometimes hear from folks. She just turned and high-tailed it out of there. :001_huh:

[Jamee]

fortunately, i've not heard anything too outlandish. i've had a few occasions though, where it's not *what* was said to me, but more-so the tone in which it was spoken... almost condescending, .

 

This has been my experience the one time someone "critisized" our decision to homeschool. I had just met a lady and it came up that I homeschool. Not a big deal, until she found out that my husband was. . .a TEACHER! With a snide look, she said "well, that doesn't make any sense" then pretty much stopped talking to me.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I was standing in line at Costco with my kids. We were buying treats for a Valentine homeschool party. An elderly lady right behind me asked me why my kids weren't in school and I told her.

 

She replied, "I don't believe in THAT. My children are doctors and lawyers, and your children are going to amount to nothing."

 

:cursing:

 

She said this right in front of my children! There was an audible gasp from everyone around me.

 

I've had other snide comments but I think that has been the one that p!ssed me off the most.

 

But really I think the most hurtful words have been from close friends and family who just choose to constantly nip at it. They are never outright rude, but never let up on the back-handed comments.

 

So what sort of back-handed comments. Really. The only thing that I can think of was when my now SIL was in college as BIL's longtime girlfriend and was at a family dinner and told me that she thought that the college students she knew who were homeschooled were socially awkward. I just laughed, because I can think of scores of socially awkward college students who were never homeschooled.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

When we first started homeschooling, a close relative asked me, "How will your children learn to be bored?" She honestly was concerned about how they would be able to sit through boring meetings as adults, if they hadn't been bored for years in school.

 

I love this one. Who knew that was one of the prime values of school.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Homeschoolers worship knowledge. Yep, stupidity is evidently the holier route.:001_huh:

 

Homeschooling makes for messy houses. This is true btw, but it certainly shows where priorities lie.

 

This is a good one, because you'll also hear people complain that homeschoolers aren't intellectually curious. (That was a president emeritus from Stanford that I wanted to pummel.)

[Embassy]

Heard this one recently:

 

Homeschooling is so anti-social!

[Gooblink]

I was standing in line at Costco with my kids. We were buying treats for a Valentine homeschool party. An elderly lady right behind me asked me why my kids weren't in school and I told her.

 

She replied, "I don't believe in THAT. My children are doctors and lawyers, and your children are going to amount to nothing."

 

:cursing:

 

She said this right in front of my children! There was an audible gasp from everyone around me.

 

 

 

Wow. I haven't read all the posts, but this has got to be the most ignorant comment I've ever heard.

 

Audible gasp from Central TX, as well.

 

I've not received any negative comments; lots of questions about how I plan to do this or that, mostly from my teacher relatives. There's the occassional sideways glance, but people have been respectful to my face.

 

I like to read these so that I can think of a clever comeback ahead of time. :)

[kalanamak]

He will have to learn patience with others and how to endure monotony.

 

 

I bring paperwork.:001_smile:

[KidsHappen]

Well, just today my 6th grader told me that I had over prepared her for middle school. :001_huh:

[nukeswife]

I have only once had someone say something directly to me. My mom tells me of things her sisters or cousins will say, but I almost never see them so I don't let it get to me and my FIL feels the need to quiz my kids every time he sees them.

 

When my dd was still having trouble with some speech sounds in summer of 09 we looked into speech therapy, our insurance told us they wouldn't pay for it, so we needed to go to the PS for an eval. We looked into it and the first step was a meeting to request an eval for her due to our concerns. When dh and I went to this first meeting the Asst. Principal kept giving us "the fuzzy eyeball", as my dh put it, then she finally said "If you feel you're so much more qualified to teach your children, why do you feel your entitled to our speech services" I couldn't speak, my dh on the other had said "Because you are required by law to offer these services to children her age, regardless of where she attends school" and he proceeded to whip out a copy of the law I had printed off before we even requested the meeting. To which she responded "Hmph, I guess you're right"

Needless to say the rest of those at the meeting were much nicer and my dd did attend speech therapy there for a year. I did find it funny that when we had to go in for a "Mid-term progress meeting" that the speech teacher asked the Asst. Principal to give me my "award" they gave me a fancy piece of paper with a gold seal sticker. It was an "Excellence in Teaching" certificate that the school departments gives out to teachers they think go above and beyond and the speech staff had voted me as their choice of recipient.

[Hunter's Moon]

I'm being homeschooled so my response is a bit different. It's been implied, whether outright or indirectly, that I was using homeschooling as a way of "legally" dropping out.

 

:glare:

 

I think a lot of people who begin being homeschooled in high school or begin homeschooling their children in high school get that from a lot of people.

[Chris in VA]

A preschool director at the school dd went to when she was 3 and 4 told me she thought it was unhealthy for kids to have mom as a teacher. Unhealthy. Hmmm. Like, teachers make them wash their hands more or something?

 

A teacher at the preschool I worked at told me she also thought kids need other people to teach them, and that it was just plain wrong to deny my kids that.

 

 

Many folks I run into comment that their kids would never listen to them. I think they already don't, and it has nothing to do with school. It's as if they think school is so much more important than life or something--Oh, it's ok that they don't listen to me at home, but I'd never risk them not listening to me if I was their teacher.

People are such idiots.

[Audrey]

I'm writing a story about someone deciding to homeschool.

 

But either because I'm too scary for people to tell me bad stuff to my face or I've blocked out any negative comments, I'm having trouble with coming up with the spiteful and hurtful things that people might say and do to a new homeschooler.

 

So I'd love to hear the most outlandish, hurtful, ignorant things that friends, family or strangers might have said to you about homeschooling. I will take these as ideas for my antagonists to say.

 

Don't post it if you aren't willing for me to write about it. This is for a work of fiction for NaNoWriMo.

 

 

One of the ps teachers (who, at the time, didn't know me from Adam) said "what makes you think you are qualified to teach your son?" in a completely obnoxious and condescending manner.

 

I was so irked by that, my inner Southern girl got her back up right fast. I told her "If I can teach graduate students how to deconstruct Shakespeare, I'm sure I can teach my kindergartner to read." Then I stood up my whole 6 feet (plus heels) and added, "I believe my Ph.D trumps your little ol' B.A."

 

When I think about it, I will always regret that I didn't take the opportunity to toss a "bless your heart" in there, too.

 

 

ETA: I also hear on occasion that homeschoolers don't get "proper public socialization that you only get in school." My standard answer to this is to tell them "Don't worry. (DH) and I have that covered. We make sure we corner him in the bathroom, shove his head in the toilet, call him names and then steal his pocket money at least once a week."

 

 

Geez. When I admit this in writing I really come across like a .... rhymes with witch. :lol:

Edited November 9, 2010 by Audrey

[Chris in VA]

I will always regret that I didn't take the opportunity to toss a "bless your heart" in there, too.

 

Bwahahahaha!

[mom2jjka]

Mostly just "WHY would you want to do that ...I couldn't stand to be around my kids all day" comments - (although I'm pretty sure that my in-laws who are PS teachers and principals say things behind our backs)

[stripe]

When we first started homeschooling, a close relative asked me, "How will your children learn to be bored?" She honestly was concerned about how they would be able to sit through boring meetings as adults, if they hadn't been bored for years in school.

That is hilarious. Perhaps you could have asked if she would be willing to host events (or show slides?) for your children?

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I'm being homeschooled so my response is a bit different. It's been implied, whether outright or indirectly, that I was using homeschooling as a way of "legally" dropping out.

 

:glare:

 

I think a lot of people who begin being homeschooled in high school or begin homeschooling their children in high school get that from a lot of people.

 

I imagine that it is considered a much more drastic step to start homeschooling high school rather than kindergarten. I remember back in my own school days, lo these many years ago, that there were few private schools in our town. So if someone was headed off to the next city over to go to private school, it often had to do with being kicked out of public school or being pregnant.

 

I'm sorry that people assume these sorts of bad things about you.

[Daisy]

Back-handed comments usually take the form of my friends & family ripping homeschool in general but handing me an exemption because they are just so sure I'm doing a better job than THAT.

 

Examples...

 

Not every homeschooler is like you. Most of them think very little of academics.

 

Most homeschooled kids don't have a clue about socialization.

 

Oh, that's Daisy. She's my HOMESCHOOLING friend. Public School isn't good enough for her.

 

Let me introduce you to my friend, Daisy. (with a bit of a tone) She homeschools. Yeah, can you imagine never doing anything but staying at home with your kids all the time.

 

Ahhh, homeschoolers. Anti-establishment "world is coming to an end" types.

 

You don't plan on homeschooling them through High School, do you?

 

Your children need to be salt & light.

 

This is my friend, Daisy. She homeschools. Glad all the Christians haven't pulled their kids out of public school. (haa haa, joke, joke) Then where would we be?

 

There is no way I'd ever homeschool my children. I don't want them growing up as freaks. (Oh, but Daisy, your kids are an exception. Blah, blah, blah).

 

Most parent don't have the ability to control their children much less teach them.

 

How will homeschool parents ever motivate their children without the peer pressure available in a group setting.

 

I'm glad I don't worship my kids.

 

God doesn't want you hiding at home with your kids. He wants us out and interacting with the world.

 

Really. I could go on forever.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Back-handed comments usually take the form of my friends & family ripping homeschool in general but handing me an exemption because they are just so sure I'm doing a better job than THAT.

 

Examples...

 

Not every homeschooler is like you. Most of them think very little of academics.

 

Most homeschooled kids don't have a clue about socialization.

 

Oh, that's Daisy. She's my HOMESCHOOLING friend. Public School isn't good enough for her.

 

Let me introduce you to my friend, Daisy. (with a bit of a tone) She homeschools. Yeah, can you imagine never doing anything but staying at home with your kids all the time.

 

Ahhh, homeschoolers. Anti-establishment "world is coming to an end" types.

 

You don't plan on homeschooling them through High School, do you?

 

Your children need to be salt & light.

 

This is my friend, Daisy. She homeschools. Glad all the Christians haven't pulled their kids out of public school. (haa haa, joke, joke) Then where would we be?

 

There is no way I'd ever homeschool my children. I don't want them growing up as freaks. (Oh, but Daisy, your kids are an exception. Blah, blah, blah).

 

Most parent don't have the ability to control their children much less teach them.

 

How will homeschool parents ever motivate their children without the peer pressure available in a group setting.

 

I'm glad I don't worship my kids.

 

God doesn't want you hiding at home with your kids. He wants us out and interacting with the world.

 

Really. I could go on forever.

 

I wonder why I don't get comments like these. They sound like fun. Maybe I am getting them and I'm just too dense to notice.

[Hunter's Moon]

I imagine that it is considered a much more drastic step to start homeschooling high school rather than kindergarten. I remember back in my own school days, lo these many years ago, that there were few private schools in our town. So if someone was headed off to the next city over to go to private school, it often had to do with being kicked out of public school or being pregnant.

 

I'm sorry that people assume these sorts of bad things about you.

 

People are just too nosy. Always have been and always will be.

 

I've had lots of good experiences and comments though. Mostly from librarians when checking out homeschooling books when we first made the decision in April. Ever since then, they always ask me how everything is going and pass on little tid bits of info that may be helpful to me like exhibits at the museums and such.

[Daisy]

9 out of 10 times those comments come from my local church community, not my church exactly since we've changed churches, but I heard them all the time at my previous church. :glare:

 

Always blew my mind that the public school teachers and secular folks understood our choice (or at least shut up about it) better than my Christian friends.

[ladydusk]

I have someone in my life who has a new reason every time ...

 

-I'm taking the "best" kids and the "best" families out of the schools

-my kids need to hear other people telling them the same things so they will believe me.

-the ever present 'socialization' problem

-the missing out on proms and such

-the children will certainly be "behind" and/or "weird" (all homeschoolers are, you know)

[Frontier Mom]

My dh and I went to dinner with another couple once (the wife and I were new friends but our dh's had never met). During the main course my friend's dh said, "Oh, so you guys are the ones that homeschool?" One of us confirmed his statement. Then he said something about how he would never consider homeschooling because he wouldn't want his kids to be "freaks" or "nerds" (his words, seriously). I sort of tried to laugh it off and said, "I always thought we were pretty normal...ha ha ha..." and he proceeded to inform me that my son was definitely weird because he was too quiet, liked to play with kids younger than him (my ds was all of 7 at the time), and spent too much time reading. Alrighty then... :001_huh:

 

You should have asked if he learned his sense of tactfulness at the public school:glare:

[Chris in VA]

Tigersgrowl, I just wanted to encourage you--Ds21 started homeschooling in 9th grade. When he was in church youth group, the topic of "where do you go to school" always came up in September. He would say, I go to school in my basement. And I don't have to start until 9. (Buses come here around 6:00am)

A chorus of "LUUUCCCKKKYYY!" usually ensued.

All it takes is a little smug smile and some self-confidence! :D

[FriedClams]

My kids have never been to school, so I *really* appreciated it when my mom said "the people teaching DD cursive are doing a great job." Uh, that's me, Mom.

 

Then there were those school bus bath towels she sent the kids for Christmas...(The hysterical thing was DS thought they were trucks and loved them!! Hysterical!!)

[Parrothead]

The worst one was the lady that said if she had to homeschool hers she would end up drowning them in the bathtub within two weeks.

 

Strangely enough this same woman and her husband had the children taken away by CPS because of physical abuse. It was a d@nm good thing those kids were in school, and the school did what it was supposed to.

[Anne in CA]

Well, whenever I say anything that my kids are doing my sister says, "I'm not as competitive as you regarding my kids." I don't think I am competative with my sister at all, but she obviously thinks I home school to "outparent" her.

 

My cousin used to make comments about how only teachers are qualified to teach kids. She was the librarian for a small country school and very predjudiced against home school moms. Fast forward to budget cuts and last year she taught first grade herself. That's right, SHE'S NOT A TEACHER. She doesn't even have a BA. Now she doesn't feel that way any more. I didn't rub it in her face because I can tell from talking to her that she is doing a good job and the tiny school she is teaching at only has 12 first graders anyway.

 

But I wouldn't presume to teach 12 kids that belonged to other people to read on the taxpayer dime. Just say'n.

[Mom-ninja.]

I had a comment that made me :confused:. A mom asked if my kids have to take the state standardized tests. I don't her only if I so chose. She then asked me how I can possibly know if my kids are learning if they don't take the tests.

I think I sat and stared at her for a moment just blinking. I finally said that I am with them every day so I could I not know what they know and don't know.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

My kids have never been to school, so I *really* appreciated it when my mom said "the people teaching DD cursive are doing a great job." Uh, that's me, Mom.

 

Then there were those school bus bath towels she sent the kids for Christmas...(The hysterical thing was DS thought they were trucks and loved them!! Hysterical!!)

 

:lol:

[Crimson Wife]

I'm taking the "best" kids and the "best" families out of the schools

 

This one I hear all the time and it makes my blood boil. Typically it's framed as "if only the homeschooling families would devote the time and energy they spend with their kids on the schools then everybody would benefit". As if parents can actually make a meaningful difference in the way the government-schools are run in this era of state standards and NCLB. :glare:

[Audrey]

Originally Posted by ladydusk

I'm taking the "best" kids and the "best" families out of the schools

 

This one I hear all the time and it makes my blood boil. Typically it's framed as "if only the homeschooling families would devote the time and energy they spend with their kids on the schools then everybody would benefit". As if parents can actually make a meaningful difference in the way the government-schools are run in this era of state standards and NCLB. :glare:

 

 

I've heard that one, too. It's as if they're trying to foist the entire responsibility for the failures of the local ps on the fact that my ONE kid doesn't go there. :glare:

 

I have retorts for those people, too, but they're not particularly printable.

Edited November 9, 2010 by Audrey