Niece's baby is here and okay, but we almost lost her!

[FaithManor]

Rosalee, called Rosie, was born just after midnight last night. Niece's water broke and she had a very slowly progressing labor for 14 hours. Then it stalled...no contractions at all. She dilated to only 5 cm and stayed there.

 

After four hours of doing everything she could to get labor progressing and did manage to get a pattern of contractions going again but then Rosie's heartrate started falling just below 80 with each contraction. Niece still wasn't dilating and so the midwife finally demanded that she be moved to the hospital.

 

The OB on call in conjunction with the MW decided to try a slow pitocin drip along with some oxytocin gel on the cervix to see if they could get things going. Twenty hours into this thing, Rosie's heartrate started tanking to scary depths and niece was rushed in for an emergency C-section. The baby is okay but the OB was stunned at the poor condition of the placenta and said that he's suprised that Rosie survived!

 

Now here is the thing, baby only weighed 6 lbs and 9 ounces and that's 27 days overdue. The doctor said she's a miracle because she has probably been losing weight in utero due to the condition of the placenta. And that is certainly a good hypothesis but I also happen to know that my niece smoked about three packs a week for the entire pregnancy sooooooo.....I'm thinking that had something to do with it as well.

 

Niece is pretty shaken up and is very worried she won't be able to nurse because her friends who have had c-sections never had good milk supply or no let down at all.

 

So that's the scoop. Thanks for all of your advice, thoughts, prayers, encouragement, etc. Dh and I are going to take a bunch of healthy groceries to their apartment plus diapers and wipes before she is released (Sunday if she and babe are doing well). She's going to use cloth but they have to go to the laundromat since their little efficiency doesn't have laundry facilities. I just don't see a woman with a newborn and C-section incision lugging wet diapers to the laundromat and the new daddy can't do it because he works 12 hours per day 7 days per week to try and keep them afloat now that niece isn't working.

 

Faith

[LisaKinVA]

Congratulations -- PTL for the arrival of little Rosie. Praying that mom and baby do well.

[Ravin]

Glad to hear there was a good outcome! Tell her not to worry over the nursing, just stay determined. Get her the name of a LLL leader if needs be, and to stay in the hospital as long as they'll let her, esp. if there's a lactation consultant on hand. We had a bit of a rocky start, but I nursed DD after C-section--for 5 years. Especially with the smoking, the baby can use any advantage she can get. If you can, remind her that sleeping with the baby is a bad idea for a smoker.

[Amber in AUS]

Glad to hear bub has arrived.

[Pippen]

Niece is pretty shaken up and is very worried she won't be able to nurse because her friends who have had c-sections never had good milk supply or no let down at all.

 

So that's the scoop. Thanks for all of your advice, thoughts, prayers, encouragement, etc. Dh and I are going to take a bunch of healthy groceries to their apartment plus diapers and wipes before she is released (Sunday if she and babe are doing well). She's going to use cloth but they have to go to the laundromat since their little efficiency doesn't have laundry facilities. I just don't see a woman with a newborn and C-section incision lugging wet diapers to the laundromat and the new daddy can't do it because he works 12 hours per day 7 days per week to try and keep them afloat now that niece isn't working.

 

Faith

 

I'm so thankful that the baby is delivered and safe.

 

I'm surprised at the concern over nursing and cloth diapers when she's shown so little care up to this point.

[Caitilin]

So glad to hear this. I was really concerned about the whole story. Tell niece that C-sec doesn't mean you can't nurse; I had 2 and nursed the twins and the singleton. :) Best wishes to her and Rosie, and to you too.:grouphug::grouphug:

[FaithManor]

She is nursing and using cloth diapers because they can't afford disposables and formula. Trust me, I know this girl quite well....if they could afford the convenience of diapers and she could bottle feed so that she could leave Rosie with him a lot, she would. I keep hoping that she'll bond with the little one in such a way that she will experience a miraculous surge in maturity. I know this does happen so I pray for it because I don't want anything bad to happen to my great niece.

 

Faith

[ma23peas]

Oh man! I read your previous posts and have been praying for them! I am furious about her smoking!!! At first I thought her using a midwife was her right and not too off the wall....but did the midwife know she smoked 3 packs a day?? Any midwife will know that a chain smoker would have a compromised placenta and a host of other complications....I have to say it, what an idiot...sorry, but the life of some small baby who can not scream out against that toxin and then is subjected to all that...just makes me sick....I don't know if breast feeding would be best if she's still smoking...so sorry, stand strong and love her but sometimes loving them means telling them like it is...:(

 

Tara

[ChristusG]

Whew!! I am so glad to hear that everything is okay! I was worried!

[HollyB]

What a strong little baby! This is great news. I will be praying for them both. I'm glad they have someone like you who cares so much for them (whether it's appreciated or not). :grouphug:

[Heatherwith4]

I am so thankful the baby is okay! I've nursed 3 after c-sections, and I had tons of milk, so that should be okay. I would think that if she insists on smoking around baby, the breastmilk would be a great help. I will keep them in my prayers.

[Pretty in Pink]

Thanks for the update. Maybe this whole ordeal will be a wake-up call to your niece to get her act together. Thank god her baby has no immediate health concerns.

[m0mmaBuck]

Glad to hear both are doing OK.

[mrs.m]

Yay! Answer to prayers!

 

And she should be able to nurse just fine after C-section. I had an abundant supply of milk after all 3 c-sections and never had problems with let-down. Someone told me that while I was nursing at church in the baby room and my DD popped off and the milk squirted across the room. She needs a nutritious diet to keep her supply up. Does she qualify for the WIC program?

[kalanamak]

 

Niece is pretty shaken up and is very worried she won't be able to nurse because her friends who have had c-sections never had good milk supply or no let down at all.

 

 

I'm not her friend, but I defied the trend she fears.

[duckens]

So happy for this new life of baby Rosie to have made it this far!

 

I, too, had marvelous milk after a C-section. Dd was (and still is) a "champion nurser" (according to our attending nurses). Colostrum came in before we left the hospital, and my milk, too, would often "squirt across the room" once we arrived home!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I signed on this morning in fear for this mother and baby. I'm that that the mw finally took control and got her to the hospital. And I'm glad that Rosie is here. Continuing to pray for this mother and child.

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

I want to add that the condition on the placenta is a window to the pre-conception and pre-natal health of mom. You can count on a nice, thick and healthy placenta to nourish a babe post-dates if you take good care of yourself and therefore baby.

Edited September 11, 2010 by mommyjen

[Storm Bay]

Hooray!!!!

 

I had 3 c-sections and LOTS of milk plus a very fast let down. My dc all swallowed with every suck & had to go very fast to keep up (yes, it would squirt across the room if they let go.)

 

This type of problem (the placenta breaking down) is why OB here will allow a baby to go over 2 weeks due to problems such as this. In factm, I'm surprised to hear that it still goes on, even though in my family such a thing results in normal babies because we naturally go long (but I wasn't allowed to wait more than 2 weeks past my due date). I'm so happy that Rosie is here and healthy. My sil has trouble with this, so was induced with all her babies after her first.

 

And, yes, smoking 3 packs a day is incredible-that alone leads to low birthweight babies among other things. Perhaps this will get her to quit.

[DianeW88]

Thank goodness the midwife came through or they both would have most certainly died. Praying for an upsurge in wisdom and maturity for your niece. It's wonderful that you can be there for the baby.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[FaithManor]

Diane,

 

I wish I could be there for this baby. I wish I could spend some time taking care of my niece and helping her become a good mom. But, all of the information that I have is through my brother, my mom, and my nephews. My niece will not allow dh or I to have any direct contact with her. She is a very troubled soul and lived with us for a year after an attempted suicide at the age of 14. Her parents, my brother and his wife (she is a child from sil's previous marriage that my brother adopted when he married niece's mom - niece was nine) were not good parents. They weren't horrible parents, but they were always bizarrely tough (sil is bi-polar and perfectionistic) on her and she eventually figured out that no matter what she did it would never be good enough and never get any recognition. So, if the only attention she could get was bad, she set out to meet their expectations! She spiraled completedly out of control and then when a near tragedy ensued, she came to us.

 

They gave us a temporary, one year guardianship of her and in order to keep her alive, we had to keep her on your basic mental health lock down for the first six months. Dh and I even took turns sleeping so that there was never a time that she was unsupervised. It was tough but we loved her and weren't going to let her kill herself on our watch. Through professional therapy with two counselors, the efforts of a psychiatrist who made great suggestions on natural supplements, diet, exercise, and actually treated her migraine disorder instead of telling her she was a liar/rebellious teen who couldn't possibly be having a health problem, and spiritual counseling with our pastor, she came through. By the time the year was up, she was in a good place and though she was two years behind in math and science when we got her, she was completely caught up through homeschooling. But that said, we were the ones that had to make the tough choices and play the wardens until she came out of it.

 

We wanted to keep her and were very concerned about her returning to my brother's home, but it was made clear they would sue for custody and probably win, if we tried to keep her past the expiration of the guardianship - we really didn't have any legal rights and we'd spent so much money dealing with her issues that there wasn't money for an attorney to fight it. We reluctantly let her go. They did not keep up the therapies, the diet and exercise regimen, they did not keep her tomato staked to them which is what she needed, they let her run with a goth crowd in high school, and though she made nearly all A's her first year home, got a 1+ in state solo and ensemble for her vocal solo, and won a singing contest - best foreign language song (French - she is truly gifted in foreign languages and is fleet of tongue), they focused on every negative thing they could find. Though she never became suicidal again that we know of, she began drinking and using marijuana and then ran away.

 

She hates us, and I quote, "Because you didn't love me enough to keep me so I was nothing more than a burden to you and you can bet I will never be a burden to you again! I hate you for not keeping me."

 

Sigh, so she's letting her ridiculously verbally abusive, emotionally stunted, perfectionistic, mother who went off her bi-polar meds several years ago around her while she desperately seeks approval that she will never get and the ones who truly love her unconditionally and would do anything to make sure she and Rosie are safe and cared for, are scorned. Oh yeah, we have a lot of buried pain from this.

 

I just keep thinking about that babe and I keep hoping and praying that my niece will lock eyes with this precious soul and decide to let go of the crap and become a real mother.

 

Faith

[Tress]

Faith,

 

thank you for the update. I'm so glad that little Rosie is doing okay.

I will pray for your niece, Rosie and for you and your family.

:grouphug:

[dansamy]

I am glad that the baby made it. I agree with a PP who posited that neglect may be an issue for this young mother and child. This is definitely a family at risk that could use some help. It sounds like she's rebuffing the only people who truly want the best for her and her child. Very sad.

[i.love.lucy]

Faith, bless you for the love and care you have shown this girl.:grouphug:

[bzymom]

So glad to hear baby Rosie has made it through. I will keep them both in my thoughts & prayers for a better future.

[PollyOR]

I just keep thinking about that babe and I keep hoping and praying that my niece will lock eyes with this precious soul and decide to let go of the crap and become a real mother.

Faith

 

Thank you for the update and here's a hug. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

I read your other thread. If she is bipolar, she is at much higher risk of PPD. Really bad, scary PPD. I hope bf has some idea of how much weight a baby should gain, what care it needs. If she hates docs so much, she might not want to bring baby in either...

 

:grouphug:

[Mommy22alyns]

Thank goodness everyone is okay! :grouphug:

[sbgrace]

Your latest post really put the previous posts in perspective. How incredibly sad. I'm sorry for all involved. :grouphug:

 

Oh, emergency C section here and I had a good milk supply. That said, breastfeeding is difficult at first and the baby is small which I found makes it harder sometimes. She'll need lots of support and it sounds like she doesn't have that. I hope she knows about LLL. Breastfeeding is cheaper and it's easier too in the long run. I hope it works out for her. Cloth on the other hand might not be cheaper schlepping it to the laundry I wouldn't think even if she's doing prefolds and other cheap methods.

[Impish]

I missed the previous thread.

 

Smoking aside, going 23 days past due would have the placenta age and rapidly deteriorate.

 

I'm glad baby is safe, and like other pps, I had a csection and nursed successfully.

 

I hope she bonds w/baby, and changes dramatically. :grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

She is nursing and using cloth diapers because they can't afford disposables and formula. Trust me, I know this girl quite well....if they could afford the convenience of diapers and she could bottle feed so that she could leave Rosie with him a lot, she would. I keep hoping that she'll bond with the little one in such a way that she will experience a miraculous surge in maturity. I know this does happen so I pray for it because I don't want anything bad to happen to my great niece.

 

Faith

 

 

Faith I'm praying for that to happen too. Thank God Rosie is okay. :) Praying for mom to be woken up to the joys of motherhood and to become a wonderful mom to Rosie.

[AuntieM]

Faith, this is for *you* :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

What an emotional roller coaster for you. I wish you a good night of sleep tonight.

 

Rosie and her mother will be in my prayers. All things are possible with God. You have served this young woman heroically. Maybe one day she will realize that, but even if she never does, you must know that, on your watch, you did right by her.

[tissakay]

Glad to hear that all is well. Tell her not to worry about nursing after a c-section. I BF ds after a c-section for nearly 12 months. Just nurse often and all should be fine!

[Sparkle]

Big :grouphug: to you, Faith. I know how concerned and frustrated you must be feeling. I'm so glad the baby made it here safely. Hoping your niece gets a big wake up call.

[lisamarie]

She is nursing and using cloth diapers because they can't afford disposables and formula.

Faith

 

I am so glad that Rosie was born okay. I have been praying for her since your first post and just couldn't get her out of my head.

 

I would strongly encourage her to look into WIC. She could get free formula for the baby and other food for herself.

[Mrs Mungo]

Niece is pretty shaken up and is very worried she won't be able to nurse because her friends who have had c-sections never had good milk supply or no let down at all.

 

I'm so glad mom and baby are doing okay!

 

I had a c-section with middle dd and was leaking copious amounts of colostrum while still in the hospital. She was spitting up bright orange colostrum. It was crazy!

 

Does she have a boppy or other nursing pillow? I think they are particularly helpful when you've had a c-section.

 

Glad to hear there was a good outcome! Tell her not to worry over the nursing, just stay determined. Get her the name of a LLL leader if needs be, and to stay in the hospital as long as they'll let her, esp. if there's a lactation consultant on hand. We had a bit of a rocky start, but I nursed DD after C-section--for 5 years. Especially with the smoking, the baby can use any advantage she can get. If you can, remind her that sleeping with the baby is a bad idea for a smoker.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

She is nursing and using cloth diapers because they can't afford disposables and formula. Trust me, I know this girl quite well....if they could afford the convenience of diapers and she could bottle feed so that she could leave Rosie with him a lot, she would. I keep hoping that she'll bond with the little one in such a way that she will experience a miraculous surge in maturity. I know this does happen so I pray for it because I don't want anything bad to happen to my great niece.

 

 

Sending up prayers for mom and baby.

 

I don't know if breast feeding would be best if she's still smoking...

 

Actually, it's considered better for baby to nurse so that they don't have so much nicotine withdrawal. Granted, it would be *extremely* better if mom would wean herself off of smoking. Smoking is so horrible, I can't even express how much I hate it.

[melmichigan]

Congrats! (I haven't read all the posts so maybe this isn't needed.)

 

Is she getting help for the smoking?

 

If she is still smoking I would strongly encourage her to look into WIC for formula if she doesn't plan to quit.

 

Smoking, especially heavy smoking can decrease milk supply, reduce the amount of fat in the breast milk so a little one has trouble gaining weight and is transmitted to the baby, often affecting their sleep habits, often making for a very cranky baby.

 

If she chooses to breastfeed and smoke then she needs to be educated to try and smoke immediately after a feeding so that as much nicotine as possible is out of the breast milk before the next feeding. She may need additional help to produce adequate breast milk and the baby may need additional calorie supplement if not gaining weight appropriately.

 

Obviously she shouldn't smoke around the baby to decrease the risk of SIDS, pneumonia, bronchitis, and asthma, and should avoid nicotine replacement products, which deliver even higher amounts of nicotine to baby.

 

I hope she appreciates how luck she is to have people who care.

[Kate CA]

Diane,

 

I wish I could be there for this baby. I wish I could spend some time taking care of my niece and helping her become a good mom. But, all of the information that I have is through my brother, my mom, and my nephews. My niece will not allow dh or I to have any direct contact with her. She is a very troubled soul and lived with us for a year after an attempted suicide at the age of 14. Her parents, my brother and his wife (she is a child from sil's previous marriage that my brother adopted when he married niece's mom - niece was nine) were not good parents. They weren't horrible parents, but they were always bizarrely tough (sil is bi-polar and perfectionistic) on her and she eventually figured out that no matter what she did it would never be good enough and never get any recognition. So, if the only attention she could get was bad, she set out to meet their expectations! She spiraled completedly out of control and then when a near tragedy ensued, she came to us.

 

They gave us a temporary, one year guardianship of her and in order to keep her alive, we had to keep her on your basic mental health lock down for the first six months. Dh and I even took turns sleeping so that there was never a time that she was unsupervised. It was tough but we loved her and weren't going to let her kill herself on our watch. Through professional therapy with two counselors, the efforts of a psychiatrist who made great suggestions on natural supplements, diet, exercise, and actually treated her migraine disorder instead of telling her she was a liar/rebellious teen who couldn't possibly be having a health problem, and spiritual counseling with our pastor, she came through. By the time the year was up, she was in a good place and though she was two years behind in math and science when we got her, she was completely caught up through homeschooling. But that said, we were the ones that had to make the tough choices and play the wardens until she came out of it.

 

We wanted to keep her and were very concerned about her returning to my brother's home, but it was made clear they would sue for custody and probably win, if we tried to keep her past the expiration of the guardianship - we really didn't have any legal rights and we'd spent so much money dealing with her issues that there wasn't money for an attorney to fight it. We reluctantly let her go. They did not keep up the therapies, the diet and exercise regimen, they did not keep her tomato staked to them which is what she needed, they let her run with a goth crowd in high school, and though she made nearly all A's her first year home, got a 1+ in state solo and ensemble for her vocal solo, and won a singing contest - best foreign language song (French - she is truly gifted in foreign languages and is fleet of tongue), they focused on every negative thing they could find. Though she never became suicidal again that we know of, she began drinking and using marijuana and then ran away.

 

She hates us, and I quote, "Because you didn't love me enough to keep me so I was nothing more than a burden to you and you can bet I will never be a burden to you again! I hate you for not keeping me."

 

Sigh, so she's letting her ridiculously verbally abusive, emotionally stunted, perfectionistic, mother who went off her bi-polar meds several years ago around her while she desperately seeks approval that she will never get and the ones who truly love her unconditionally and would do anything to make sure she and Rosie are safe and cared for, are scorned. Oh yeah, we have a lot of buried pain from this.

 

I just keep thinking about that babe and I keep hoping and praying that my niece will lock eyes with this precious soul and decide to let go of the crap and become a real mother.

 

Faith

 

Oh Faith, I am so sorry. :grouphug: I really hear your mother heart here and I am so sorry you cannot be there for her in the way she needs and that you would like. :grouphug:

[susancollins]

Faith,

I am so glad Rosie is ok! I hope your niece will let you back in her life so you can be a mothering mentor to help her be a better mother. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: