Allowance vs. "Do your chores because you live here"

[ImmigrantsWife]

We go back and forth between how much (if any) allowance the kids should be given (ages 12, 11 and almost 9).

 

I've done the allowance thing, where each child has established chores and if they do them all they get their "age-appropriate" allowance.

 

I've done the "Just do your chores because we all live in the house and we all have a job to do" thing, which is very un-inspiring for kids (surprise, surprise).

 

I've also done the pay-for-chore thing, where they only get paid for what they do- very labor-intensive, and then when I ask them to do something simple like let the dog out, they ask "Do I get paid for that?" :glare: Grrrrrr......

 

I'm trying to teach them financial responsibility (you know, money doesn't grow on trees, etc, etc) but it's hard to make them buy their own stuff when they have no way to earn their own money. And I'm not really crazy about letting them put up babysitting notices, etc in the general public. That's how we earned money as a kid, babysitting, yard work, etc for neighbors. (We don't really live in a place where we can do that anyway).

 

What do you guys do?

 

Thanks for your help!

Shelly

[k2bdeutmeyer]

We've been struggling with the same thing!! Looking forward to the responses.

[jld]

Just want you to know you have my sympathy. My kids (well, the boys, as dd15 is very helpful) don't like to help much, either. Dh is absolutely opposed to allowances, so that's out. It's probably easier that we don't do them, as I think the boys would be negotiating all the time, too.

 

I guess I just ultimately expect them to listen to me, and am not afraid to withhold privileges (for example, they won't go out to play until their toys are picked up) until I am obeyed.

[BMW]

We do both! Actually, only when I can afford it.

 

This is what I think... the children should learn to make their bed and keep their room tidy (of course that does not include in the middle of playing!). They are expected to pick up after themselves around the home. They are expected to clean up in the kitchen and learn all the basic chores around the house... just because they live here.

 

THEN, when they can do those things, they may ask for a chore for pay. The chores that we will pay on are: vacuum out the car and wipe the surfaces inside the car, wash outside of car, pull weeds, organize the closets (as in, refold the linens and organize the hall closet or something similar that just got messed up over time...), wash walls, wash doors and their frames and knobs...

 

Sometimes they haven't asked for earning chores and I say, "Today is a work day, follow me!" And I have them do extra chores all through the house. I like to surprise them with ice cream cones or a trip to the less expensive water park or something like that when we work extra hard for several hours straight...

[GWOB]

Here is our philosophy. We are all members of this family, and as such, we all have specific jobs we must do to keep the family going. Dad works, mom pretends to clean and care for children, kids care for animals, etc. Now, as members of this family, we all get a certain amount of spending money, except for the 3-year-old, because all she would buy is candy.

 

We didn't want to tie the allowance to the chores. I don't want my kids to ONLY work for money. We all have jobs to do and we just have to do those jobs. Period. Now, if you refuse to participate in our family's responsibilities, you are less likely to recieve the benefits of being in the family, meaning an allowance.

 

Now, I will occasionally give them a little extra for doing something I really do not want to do, like dishes when mom is feeling crummy or something like that. Or, they usually get a cut of our recycling money since they are the ones who smash the cans. It seems to work well for us.

[Parrothead]

I so wanted to do allowance but we quit carrying cash. It was a hassle to go the bank or ATM each week to get cash for dd. now we kind of have a running tally. If dd wants something we buy it for her. The last was Mario Galaxy 2. She hadn't gotten anything since Christmas so she had a quite a bit built up.

 

So she does chores because we've found that family clean up works much better for us. And we buy her odd things every once in a while and call it her allowance.

[elegantlion]

We pay for certain chores. They are set and done each week, sometimes during the week, like unload the dishwasher, get the trash. Other chores, like pick up your room, help with dinner, feed the cat, are unpaid.

 

Our ultimate goal is to teach ds good money management. Dh and I both learned the hard way, even though we both had parents with good money management skills. It did not get taught and we failed to learn through osmosis. :tongue_smilie:

 

We've been paying ds in this manner since he was about two, yes two. Obviously the pay and chores have changed over the years, but he is awesome with his money. He has a wonderful grasp of how far a dollar will go, he understands what something is worth after a purchase. He recently traded in his Wii and PS2 and games, and walked out with a brand new Xbox 360, a few games, all for $5.00. He pays for all of his own games and toys.

 

Our point is that we want ds to know how to handle money BEFORE he leaves our home. Again I think it's a matter of experience, not age, that makes the difference.

[snickelfritz]

One kid is a good cleaner and one isn't. We are just now implementing a paid list, but what we have been doing:

 

1. Allowance is independent. But they must save a third and donate a third. They just get this, but they also just must do school, practice instrument, keep room clean, etc... We tie these things into "no tv, computer, swimming, games, etc... until they are done".

 

2. Room, their bathroom, and keeping things tidy is part of their family duties. Also, doing things as we ask fits here.

 

3. We are going to start keeping a list of things they can do for extra money IF their other chores are done. I've got things like cleaning baseboards, cleaning kitchen cabinets, etc... in mind for this. Vaacuming, cleaning dishes, etc.. will not go here. And we told them that if they ASK to get paid for something, the money goes away. They get paid only from the list.

Edited June 24, 2010 by snickelfritz

[Ester Maria]

I have actually seen both systems working quite well - as long as you're CONSISTENT, which you seem not to be, from how you describe it ;), maybe that's the issue more than money itself? - but I'm opposed to paying children to pick up after themselves or raising them to help solely out of their financial profit.

 

They do have their monthly allowances, but they're not tied to chores. They would have to make some chronic poor choices with money for us to cut on the allowances. They get allowances because they're good kids, learning well, need their pocket money and need to learn how to handle money, at the end of the day.

 

Chores-wise, we don't require that much, but the basic principle has always been that you pick up after yourself, seek not to add extra work to others (which basically means doing the most you can with regards to things that are related to you and/or your needs) and have some simple fixed chores for the sake of contributing. We have a housekeeper, so there really is no need for the kids to do a lot around the house, but I want them to contribute, and I absolutely want them to be responsible for the things related to them (their dishes, their clothes, etc.) and willing to help because it's nice to help, as opposed to willing to help because you'll financially profit from it. We don't want money to be an issue or a motivator in that story.

[melissel]

I'm in the process of implementing a hybrid system :lol: The kids will have basic chores that must be done no matter what. I created personalized chore charts just for that job (with clip art and lamination and hooks, no less!). They will also receive a very small allowance each week (50 cents per year of age) no matter what because we're working on the financial responsibility thing too. Our experience with that so far has been very positive, and I'd like to keep it going. Then I'm also keeping a list of extra jobs that need to be done and what they're worth, and when they want to earn extra money, they can pull from the jar and do some work. I also reserve the right to require some extra work if I need help with something!

 

We've also faced the "Do I get paid for that?" attitude, and I just respond with, "No, it's part of helping our family run smoothly." I've also pulled out the "Do I get paid for that?" when serving them food or providing snacks or helping them pick out clothes, and they get the point :lol:

 

It's a little complicated, but it's also like real life. I don't get paid for running our household, because that's my "job" in our family, just like their job is to keep their rooms clean, tidy up their messes, etc. However, I do take on freelance work, and with that money we've taken a (small) vacation and bought a new couch, and we discussed how I didn't really WANT to do that work, but that the benefit is that we get to do/buy these extra things that we wanted, so I sucked it up and got the work done. In the same vein, although right now Dad's the one bringing home the money, I get to spend some of it as I see fit (take myself to Starbucks, buy new sandals) because I'm a valuable part of the overall household, even if I don't get the house as clean as Daddy might like it.

 

Parts of the system have been in effect relatively successfully in the past, and now that the chore charts are done, the whole thing will be moving forward next week. I'm looking forward to it!

[usetoschool]

Here is our philosophy. We are all members of this family, and as such, we all have specific jobs we must do to keep the family going. Dad works, mom pretends to clean and care for children, kids care for animals, etc. Now, as members of this family, we all get a certain amount of spending money, except for the 3-year-old, because all she would buy is candy.

 

We didn't want to tie the allowance to the chores. I don't want my kids to ONLY work for money. We all have jobs to do and we just have to do those jobs. Period. Now, if you refuse to participate in our family's responsibilities, you are less likely to recieve the benefits of being in the family, meaning an allowance.

 

Now, I will occasionally give them a little extra for doing something I really do not want to do, like dishes when mom is feeling crummy or something like that. Or, they usually get a cut of our recycling money since they are the ones who smash the cans. It seems to work well for us.

 

This is essentially how we always did it. Starting at around 8 yo (before that they were "in training" and working for free, :)) I would give them a set amount of money each week and they were then responsible for buying their own stuff, clothes, birthday presents for friends and the like. We also had a chore list and everyone had their work they did everyday because this is their home and they were responsible for it. We all worked together in the mornings to get the list done. They were not getting paid for chores. The chores had to be done, period. And instead of buying their stuff, I give them the money and they pick out their own things. It is amazing to me when it was their money and they were responsible for it what good choices they generally made. They are pretty good with money and pretty frugal and sensible so I think it worked...

[Pamela H in Texas]

Chores are done because you're a member of this household (and need the skills and values chores instill also).

 

Allowance is given because you're a valued member of this household who also needs to learn to handle money appropriately. Daddy works so each of us can have a little money to save, give, and play with.

 

Additional chores can be done for additional money. If I had younger kids, I'd post a board with the chore and the amount I'm paying for it to get done.

 

Anyway, this is a non-issue here because between me being so incredibly sick AND trying to work, chores fall squarely on my children who negotiated their own chore handling. We each get blow money each week as part of the budget. My kids more than earn what they get for blow. My daughter is thinking of getting a job in October. My son has been trying to get a job but is thinking he'll have to wait til April 2011 because of "company policy" <sigh>

[gpsings]

We do allowances, but we don't have 'set chores'. My children are expected to help because they live here. I pay them 5.00 a week, plus 2 cents a page for any books they read (THAT one is getting pricey! :lol:)

We can take allowance for chores not done, (If I'm to do it, then I should be compensated) but we don't pay for chores. I don't want my kids putting price tags on every item they pick up, and every surface they wipe. They get plenty to live on, and I don't get paid for it, why should they?

[SquirrellyMama]

We do both also. There are certain things they have to do (make beds, wash dishes, help with laundry, clean cat box, clean bathroom, sweep, mop, etc...). Then there are the things that mom does not want to do so they get paid for it if their other work is done. They get paid to clean out the van and wash it, take the litter box outside the house and empty and wash it, wash the outside trash cans on trash day, groom the cat and clean all of the inside trash cans.

 

I've found it works well.

[Cheryl in NM]

We give a minor allowance, when we can afford it, just for being a kid in our family. When the child gets a job, the allowance quits. Ds, 13, gets $10 a month in 2 installments. Paypal offers a student card that is linked to your paypal account. I set up a regular funds transfer to ds's card. That way he can order books and music online or go to the store. He also doesn't ask for extra as much as he used to.

 

Ds has certain chores that must be done because these things just must be done. Daily he picks up after himself, loads the dishwasher, washes dishes by hand and wipes down counters and feeds the dogs. Weekly he cleans his room and bathroom and sweeps & mops the kitchen, laundry room and entryway. He is also expected to help out as necessary and might be rewarded with a candy bar and/or soda on a trip to town. Sometimes, heavier jobs that need to be done, but I can't and dh has a heavy work schedule, ds might get paid. Sometimes, a big job needs to get done, it falls to ds and we can't pay because we don't have the money. We explain it to ds and let him know that it's considered community service to help those who can't do for themselves and can't pay you to do for them. He's really good about it most of the time. He helps the neighbor's frequently like that.

[hsmom3tn]

My kids get an allowance each week, unless their father is laid off (which unfortunately happens at least 4 months out of each year). It's really just spending money, since they don't have specific chores to do. They know that they have to clean up after themselves and they are to keep an eye on the trash cans (they each have one specific trash can that they are responsible for emptying when it's full). If something needs to be done (like sweeping, vaccuuming, folding towels, etc.), I'll ask them to do it and they get it done.

 

DS is responsible for keeping the yard cut, which needs to be done every 4-5 days. For this, he gets his cell phone priveliges and sometimes his father gives him a little extra money. The girls sometimes earn extra money by cleaning out the van or deep cleaning the kitchen... something like that.

 

We are pretty laid back about assigning the chores; but will also withold their allowance if they are asked to do something and don't do it (or if I find dirty clothes anywhere besides in the hamper; that's a big pet peeve of mine :glare:).

 

My son is great about saving his money for something that he really wants. The girls' money burns a hole in their purse until they spend it. We're working on that. I try to convince them to make good choices, but sometimes have to just say no. Usually I will let them buy a few small things that they want if they are still saving part of it for something nicer.

 

On the other hand, the girls are good about donating a bit to charities and the church, whereas DS is not. I'm working on that, too. :)

[elise1mds]

I've tried to do allowances a couple of ways, but I never remember to get the cash or have it on hand, and quite honestly, the kids would forget about having me pay them at least as often as I forgot to be prepared. So we've given it up. My son, though, is very motivated by money, so I printed up some 'Blomfield Bucks' and gave some to each kid (they are color-coded so no swapping or stealing can occur). DS gets $50/month and DD gets $30. For doing chores that are 'extraordinary' like volunteering to clean the bathroom, feeding the animals, etc., they can earn bucks. When they do things like throw massive fits because they don't get their way, I take bucks. At the end of the month, whatever is left will be converted into cash and 50% will go into savings and 50% can be theirs to spend or save for something bigger. DS is very excited about the program and DD has worked very hard at keeping all her bucks (isn't interested in extra but doesn't want to lose any, either). So we shall see how this one pans out. We're still in the trial month, so who knows.

[RobinF]

I haven't read the replies but we do both. We went through Financial Peace Jr. with the boys and we loved the idea of paying a commission. We have certain things that we expect the boys to do because they live in this house. Then we have a list of other things that we do that we pay for. I typically pay $.25 per chore. I pay about $2 a week to each of the oldest three boys depending on what they do. Things that I pay for include unloading the dishwasher, sweeping, mopping, helping to clean the bathrooms (I still do toilets), dusting and extra that we ask for like cleaning the van or helping with yard work.

 

Things that I don't pay for include making their beds, picking up toys, taking their dirty clothes to the laundry room, putting clean clothes away and feeding/watering/grooming the dogs.

 

It has worked out great for us in that now they have their own money to use for things they want and they have learned the habit of saving for big expenses.

[Mrs Mungo]

My kids receive allowance. It allows them to buy gum, books, magazines, lego kit of their choice without constantly asking for things. They are required to do chores. The two are not necessarily tied.

 

My 9 year old receives $7/week. Typical chores for him: feeding pets, picking up dog poop, cleaning his room, tidying the bathroom he shares with his sister, general tidying around the house, emptying the dishwasher, clearing and wiping tables and counters, emptying the small trash cans around the house.

 

My 11 year old receives $10/week. Typical chores for her include all of the above plus cleaning the bathroom she shares with her brother (mirror, sink, toilet, floor, everything) and vacuuming.

 

My 14 year old receives $20/week (she also pays for her phone and some outings with her friends). Typical chores for her include the above plus washing dishes, taking out the kitchen trash, doing laundry, cleaning her bathroom and babysitting her siblings.

[bry's-gal]

We are also trying to figure out what to do. We have set chores that need to be done daily just because you are a part of the family and we all work together. Hubby and I are going to come up with an allowance and then a list of extra chores that can be done to earn extra money. I'm having a hard time coming up with age-appropriate chores though-any ideas?

 

Something my parents helped me out a lot. I think they started when I was around 14 yrs old. I was given $50 a month for allowance. I had to save 10% and tithe 10%. After that, I had to buy anything I needed or wanted out of that money. If I needed new shoes, shampoo, make-up, clothes, eating out, movies, etc- I paid for it. I also babysat to earn extra money. I quickly learned how to manage my money as I wasn't allowed to ask for more. When my girls are older, we will be doing something similar!

[hmdavis02]

Here's what we do: The kids are responsible for all "their" areas (bedrooms, toys, their shared bathroom, putting away their own laundry, and sometimes kitchen help). Any other areas--vacuuming the main rooms, guest bathrooms, outdoor yard work (picking up sticks, etc.) can be done for money, but ONLY if they are doing the "take care of your own area" things. The money-making chores are optional for now. I will say, however, that this is sporadic in its efficacy. Mine are still young--the youngest is 5--so maybe it will work for older kids better. ;-)

 

Hope that gives you some ideas!

[angela in ohio]

We take a different approach than most. We don't have "my money," "his money," etc. It is everyone's money. So whenever anyone has a need (or desire,) we all consider it. I don't want my dc to have pocket money to spend on kid stuff, because I think it creates bad habits that have to be broken later as an adult with a family to feed. :001_smile: They each get birthday money which they spend on something right away, so that they can tell the person who gave it what they used it for. When they want money for a hobby or outing, we spend it out of our family budget. We teach them to budget and manage money with our real household budget, not with fun money for themselves.

 

Dc do all that needs to be done around the house as part of this family. We don't have set chores. We have an, "if you dirty it, you best clean it; if you see it dirty, you best take care of it," philosophy. One dd has taken over the laundry, and the other prety much does all of our dishes and cleans the kitchen. But they help each other out, as do dh and I. Ds loves to vacuum, so no one can beat him to it. :D Other than that, we just pitch in. If you dirty or empty something, you clean it up. Often, someone else in the family will come along and help you. We all do the major house cleaning together (dc and I.)

 

We are trying to create the habits that dh and I wish we had learned growing up. :001_smile:

[KidsHappen]

The only thing we pay for is the youngest two making the morning bus when school is in session. It is the only thing that motivates them (they would much rather get a ride) and it is worth it to save us the hassle of driving them to school at 7:00 am.

 

They are responsible for their own rooms and picking up and keeping track of their own things. If their laundry doesn't make it to the laundry room it doesn't get washed and so on. If they make a mess they have to clean it up. If they are hungry and it's not dinner time, they have to feed themselves. I try to use natural consequences for everything. My hubby cooks and does dishes. I do laundry and clean bathrooms. My hubby handles early morning stuff. I handle middle of the night stuff. We sometimes pay them to do a single job if they want to earn money and we don't want to do whatever. For the most part though, they don't really have chores as I don't feel that housekeeping is their responsibility. That doesn't mean that I don't teach them how to do things just that it's not their job.

[sassenach]

We do a hybrid. They have standard chores that they do because they live here. Then we have other chores that are for hire. For example, the littles have to hang all of their shirts and put their other clothes in drawers, but I still do their folding. I will sometimes hire my 13yo to do the folding part at $3 a load. However, the 13yo still has to do her own laundry as part of her normal chores.

[kathkath]

I've tried to do allowances a couple of ways, but I never remember to get the cash or have it on hand, and quite honestly, the kids would forget about having me pay them at least as often as I forgot to be prepared. So we've given it up. My son, though, is very motivated by money, so I printed up some 'Blomfield Bucks' and gave some to each kid (they are color-coded so no swapping or stealing can occur). DS gets $50/month and DD gets $30. For doing chores that are 'extraordinary' like volunteering to clean the bathroom, feeding the animals, etc., they can earn bucks. When they do things like throw massive fits because they don't get their way, I take bucks. At the end of the month, whatever is left will be converted into cash and 50% will go into savings and 50% can be theirs to spend or save for something bigger. DS is very excited about the program and DD has worked very hard at keeping all her bucks (isn't interested in extra but doesn't want to lose any, either). So we shall see how this one pans out. We're still in the trial month, so who knows.

 

cool!

[Mynyel]

/unladylike snort I can't get my kids to do chores if I tell them I will pay them. I have to yell /sigh

 

I don't do allowances. There isn't any point in my house. They just don't care!

[Cheryl in NM]

Something my parents helped me out a lot. I think they started when I was around 14 yrs old. I was given $50 a month for allowance. I had to save 10% and tithe 10%. After that' date=' I had to buy anything I needed or wanted out of that money. If I needed new shoes, shampoo, make-up, clothes, eating out, movies, etc- I paid for it. I also babysat to earn extra money. I quickly learned how to manage my money as I wasn't allowed to ask for more. When my girls are older, we will be doing something similar![/quote']

 

I like this, but what about bigger items like sports and sports equipment or travel required by debate team?

[myfunnybunch]

Our children do chores because they live here and are a part of the family. The chores are not negotiable. It's like brushing teeth, just what we do.

 

They get allowance because they are responsible members of our family and get a portion of the family's earnings to spend for themselves. Half goes to their savings accounts and half is for spending.

 

They can earn money doing extra chores above and beyond their regular chores.

 

If there's something they want to buy, I help them figure out how much money they've got and how much more they'll need and help make a plan to save, but if they decide to blow it on Hot Wheels or something else, that's their business. (Though I might remind the child he's saving for something.)

 

We involve them in planning for things like family vacation. How will we save enough money to go where we want to go? They are planning to pet sit this summer (with my help), have a lemonade and cookie stand on weekends (I told them I'd gift them the start-up cost), and have a garage sale next spring to earn spending money for our next trip.

 

Cat

[4besitos]

When I remember to get $$$ out we do a hybrid system.:001_smile: And the allowance had the built in tithe, savings & retirement (very ambitious program I read when I only had 2 children). There are lots of programs out there...but I am just trying to concentrate on the skill and just do spending, tithe and savings.

 

I do not think that learning how to manage money can be learned from talking or a workbook alone. Children have to learn about money in a hands-on way. My children would much rather buy books form a yard sale than go to a bookstore because they have learned how much more you can get when you hunt and buy used. The child has to experience the sting of not being able to get some toy that finally went on sale because they didn't save their $$$ but spent it on some junky dollar store thing that broke right away. And money personalities are somewhat innate. I have one child who will walk around the store holding something but then not want to take the money out of the wallet at the checkstand. Then I have one who money just "burns a hole in the pocket" and has a really hard time saving it.

 

I think that money management is a crucial life skill. My parents did not bless me with this skill and I paid for it heavily when I got to college/living and working on my own. I want my children to be money smarter, to know that life is about choices and choices cost money.

 

There are the basic chores that do not earn any money. Those all fall in the you are part of a family. I have been known to withhold allowance from older children who are not getting the "basics" done; and that includes being a slacker on homeschool. I also think that children that refuse to do their part in keeping the house running smoothly start losing things like yummy meals (they can eat something basic at the table with us), treats, their chauffer to soccer practice, Boys Scouts, etc. ***Because I am the meanest Mother in the whole wide world***

 

Extra chores to earn money are few, but it a child is trying to earn something I will try and be creative.

 

A small money management brag: My oldest son received $$ for his birthday, and he pooled it with his younger brother's bday $$$; Dad kicked in the rest to buy a WII. It makes me teary because he was saving up for a PSP. But he decided to use his hard saved $120 for something he and his 2 brothers and sister could enjoy together instead. His sister then went into hawk to us to get a second controller. And the little dudes saved up $$$ to buy a used game. Those are money lessons I can live with.:001_smile:

 

Now if I could just live with the arguing over whose WII time it is.:tongue_smilie:

[bry's-gal]

I like this, but what about bigger items like sports and sports equipment or travel required by debate team?

 

 

Hmmmm- I never did any of that sort of thing. or even ask for bigger things. It I wanted it, I saved up for it. Maybe the child has to pay a percentage of it and the parents pay the rest?

 

When I was a older, my parents told me they honestly expected me to come ask for more money and they were ready to give me more. It was an experiment on their part- I just took them seriously and assumed they weren't going to give me more then my $50. LOL!

[Tap]

We have family chores that are basically assigned chores. There is a list of other chores that they can earn money for doing. These are chores that are of the above and beyond variety or ones that are my (or dh's) chores, and they do it for me.

 

Examples are

Washing the moldings

Washing the kitchen cabinets inside and out

Mowing the lawn for dad

Doing everyone's laundry not just their own.

[MtnTeaching]

Great thread and a topic I've been thinking a lot about lately.

 

In the past, I read many books "by the experts" on this and tried many different ways to handle the allowance/chores issue. When the kids were younger, I tried the stickers/stamps on the chore grid that we would add up at the end of the week and pay a nickel or dime for each chore completed. I also remember one program that involved tickets (like the ones you get at the fair) and a jar - I just remember it was extremely complicated.:glare:

 

Finally, I read a book by an "expert" on how children should not have to work for their money and it shouldn't be tied to chores. They should be given money freely and should be able to do what they wanted with it with no input from me. "They will learn from their mistakes. Better now than later." Sounded good to me, so I gave them allowances with no strings attached. After about a year of watching them learn NOTHING about how to handle money and watching the money my dh works so hard for and that I try so hard to save every cent of, being spent on junk and candy as soon as they got it - I blew up. No more allowance!!!

 

This was about a year and a half ago. At this point, I'm hoping they may have actually learned something from my meltdown and I'm thinking about reinstating an allowance. They are currently doing chores around the house because they are part of the household. They will not be paid for doing these chores. If they aren't done, though, they will pay me back, i.e.. if I find clothing on the floor, there will be one warning, after that, I take a dollar back. (Bet that won't have to happen very often before they get the idea.)

 

I also like the ideas that several other people have had here about being able to earn extra money for extra chores that I might otherwise pay other people for. Hmmmm - I could use some help washing all the outside windows and screens. :001_smile:

[HRAAB]

My children have chores and receive an allowance, however, the allowance is not dependent on the chores. Everyday chores are required of everyone such as setting the table, dishes, dusting, etc. Sometimes there are bigger, not everyday jobs (picking up rocks out of the garden), and for those we pay the girls. We all work together.

 

About every three months we have the girls take some of their money (allowance, birthday gifts and such) and put it in their savings. They have money for spending and some is put aside for charities or church donations.

[mommytobees]

I very firmly believe that allowance is learning how to manage money.

Doing chores is apart of living in a home.

 

So, my kids get allowance and their chores DO not tie into it.

 

Kris

[HeidiKC]

Here is our philosophy. We are all members of this family, and as such, we all have specific jobs we must do to keep the family going. Dad works, mom pretends to clean and care for children, kids care for animals, etc. Now, as members of this family, we all get a certain amount of spending money, except for the 3-year-old, because all she would buy is candy.

 

We didn't want to tie the allowance to the chores. I don't want my kids to ONLY work for money. We all have jobs to do and we just have to do those jobs. Period. Now, if you refuse to participate in our family's responsibilities, you are less likely to recieve the benefits of being in the family, meaning an allowance.

 

 

I really like this philosophy, and it seems like the kids would get it. I struggle with this, not wanting to pay for jobs they should be doing (they are part of the family), but don't want to give allowance if they aren't getting jobs done and never know how to work this out. So as it stands now, no allowance. My 10-year-old has been asking for it again, so this makes me think maybe it will work for us if we use this approach. Thanks!

[IsabelC]

Only my eldest (7yo) gets pocket money.

It is not tied to chores, and neither is it tied to behavior.

However, we do divide things he does around the house into two categories. There are things we consider it reasonable to ask him to do regularly. Then there are extra things he can do and negotiate payment for.

[ImmigrantsWife]

Thanks everybody for your help- it gave me alot to think about. I like the idea of set chores they have to do every day/week, and then extra ones they could earn money for if they want.

 

Thanks again! :001_smile:

[NanceXToo]

I decided that because the kids are part of the family, they should get part of the family income- this is their "allowance" which is not based on chores, behavior, etc., it is given it to them because they are part of the family, they should be able to have some spending money, and it is a great way to teach them "financial responsibility" etc, which I see as part of my job. (I decided on half of their age in dollars, by the way, in regard to amount).

 

Chores are an entirely separate matter. I agree that they should also pitch in around the house- because they live here.

 

But regarding that, I can't be bothered with chore charts and lists and assigned things and nagging/keeping on top of whether they've done them and so on and so forth- I've found it MUCH easier to just ask for their help on an as-needed basis. So for instance if I call my 9 y/o daughter in and say "I need you to unload the silverware from the dishwasher while I unload the rest of the stuff, please," she just does it.

 

If I say to my 4 y/o son, "Come on, let's see who can put the most blocks away the fastest," he pitches in and helps me do it.

 

If I say to my daughter, "Come in here a minute please" (she comes in) "I need you to take out this garbage for me. ...Great, thanks. Now can you sweep while I wipe off the table and chairs?"

 

Or, "I'm doing laundry now... I need you to go grab me any dirty clothes that are on the bathroom floor"

 

and things of that nature...she helps me out as I need her to, and she does it then and there because that's when I'm asking (rather than your job is to always do X, Y and Z and I have to keep asking you every day/week did you do X, Y and Z yet"

 

...you know what I mean? I don't know, anyway, it works great for us so far.

 

And if my daughter wants to earn EXTRA money because she's saving for something in particular, then I'll do my best to come up with ways she can do that, and it would be the kinds of things I don't typically ask her to do on a regular basis. Like maybe helping me clean out my car or doing some weeding in the yard or whatever.

[Ginevra]

We have chores and we have allowance, but they are not tied to one another.

 

I do feel that, "This is a family and we are all required to help." I don't really care if it excites them or not. :lurk5: It's like brushing teeth: you don't have to like it, but you have to do it.

 

I have also given them optional jobs along with their regular jobs and they know they can do those for extra money, but it is also perfectly acceptable for them to choose not to. Optional jobs are significant work. Sometimes, if ds is saving up for something, he will ask me if there is a "money job" he can do.

 

I give allowance by the month, because it's easier that way. The 13yo gets $28, the 10yo gets $24 and the 5yo gets $2.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

We give an allowance, and we require everyone to help everyone else. But, the two aren't tied together. Our allowance IS tied to attitude, however. Bad attitude = a deduction in allowance. We also pay extra for extraordinary work (babysitting all day, or weeding the whole yard, or something like that).

[Denisemomof4]

dh and I don't get paid for our chores, neither do the kids. They are EXPECTED to pitch in. There are 6 of us living here, and chores for 12. :001_smile: We will give them money occasionally to have fun with friends, or money when they have a day away, etc. but it's not a normal thing. We will also buy them something they want/like. Again, not a normal thing. The boys are both old enough for jobs (oldest has one so we never give him money anymore) and need to make their own money now.

 

Dh was firm about wanting to raise them this way and I'm glad we did.