Is going from 2 to 3 harder than going from 1 to 2?

[sagira]

I'm still in shock about being pregnant. Dh and I were very cautious, and well.. I thought I was done. Here I am, 33 years old and pregnant with my third (:001_huh:) child. I'm only 4 weeks along. I found out yesterday. This is a complete surprise.

 

Is it tough going from two to three? Tougher than going from one to two? I thought going to from one to two was rough, as I am an only child myself. I always pictured myself as having two children. I'm happy with my two children. I had plans. Then God throws me a curve-ball :tongue_smilie:

 

What do you think?

 

(Still processing this.)

[MamaT]

Yes, 3 was a bigger jump for me than from 1 to 2. Your oldest will learn to be more independent. Our #3 was a big surprise too. I was 30 when he was born. We thought we were done with 2. Something funny happened, though. With 3 I could get the first feelings of what a big family would feel like. I never set out to have 6 children, but I'm so glad I did.

 

Congratulations!

[Beach Mom]

First of all Congratulations!:party:

 

I thought going from 2 to 3 was MUCH easier than 1 to 2. My 3rd arrived when my 2nd was 17 mths (yikes!:glare:) and my oldest was 3 1/2.

 

The transition from 1 to 2 is hard because you have to learn to share your attention between multiple children, you have to learn to deal with sibling issues and you lose any sense of quiet time you may have had.

 

I found by the 3rd a couple things happen - first of all you are more experienced - the things that threw you for a loop with the first one rarely phase you by the 3rd. You learn to give up some control and be more easy going. Your perspective on what is important, and what is an emergency, have evolved. Household routines are established and you know how to share your time among children and how to enjoy quiet moments when they appear.

 

Three is a little noisier (especially if 2 are boys!) but there is also more laughter, more love and more fun. The most important thing I have learned now is to relax and enjoy the moments. Get all the hugs and kisses and fun in you can. The time passes by so quickly.

[Sophia]

Going from one to two was extremely hard for me, going from 2 to 3 was a piece of cake and truthfully was the easiest parenting time for me.

After my fourth, I never felt like I managed my time as well as I did after my third.

 

Congratulations :grouphug:

[mommyofthree]

Congratulations !

 

I guess it all depends on your state in life. For me, dd was a surprise. Going from 2-3 was soooo much harder than from 1-2. It felt as if I had jumped from 2-4. But have no worries, it all evens out over time.:D

 

Enjoy :grouphug:

[lollie010]

Going from 2 to 3 was a huge transition for me. HUGE. It has been wonderful, but I am so exhausted at the end of the day I want to collapse. We have a blast and would take a houseful of littles, but it is harder to meet the needs of the youngest, especially since my oldest is not very independent, yet.

 

CONGRATULATIONS. You will find a way that works for you.

[milovany]

Yes.

 

But going from 3 to 4 is easy and it gets easier from there (if the olders are helpers) -- so keep going! :D

[RebeccaS]

Going from 1 to 2 was harder for me. I remember being a nervous wreck the first time I took both my girls to the pediatrician. My first dd was just 18 months when 2nd dd came along. When I had my ds, it was more, been there done that, I'm going to be ok. Much less stressful. Each time we've added a child to our family, it's been easier.

[Shelly in the Country]

I think 2 to 3 is a harder transition than 1 to 2. But in my case, my first two kids are 3 1/2 years apart and I think that made the transition from 1 to 2 much easier. When my third came along, I had two in diapers for a period of time.

[Whereneverever]

I thought that going from 0-1 was the biggest jump- adding another just seems to be another cog in the machine so far. ;)

[Soror]

I thought that going from 0-1 was the biggest jump- adding another just seems to be another cog in the machine so far. ;)

That has been my experience so far as well, it has gotten easier every time.

[momofkhm]

You go from man to man defense to zone defense. Of course, my oldest was 6 when my youngest was born. My middle was 3 1/2. I think age of kids has much to do with it. The hardest thing about having the baby home at first, well the one that sticks out in my mind anyway, was fitting feedings around school pick ups. The girls were in school then. K was in 1/2 day k and H was in preschool. drop one at 8, one at 9. Then pick up one at 12, one at 12:30. I think I did a lot of nursing in the parking lot at K's school.

[olan719]

I thought that going from 0-1 was the biggest jump- adding another just seems to be another cog in the machine so far. ;)

 

 

:lol: :lol: I thought going from 0-2 was TOUGH! I'm thinking going from 2 to 3, in my case, would be a piece of cake with my 6 yo "helpers". :D

[DianeW88]

2 to 3 was easy peasy for me. It was going from 1 to 2 that was hard.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[MelanieM]

Going from 2-3 has been pretty easy, even though it was a surprise for us. Going from 1-2 was much more intense for me, both because of the closer age gap (2.5 yrs) and because my second was high needs. With our third, we have two little helpers to help entertain him, and life is actually pretty darn sweet! :D

 

Here's a tip... I spent my entire pregnancy focusing on *trust* and *knowing* that it would be an easy transition to three. I simply refused to believe that a baby would see fit to come into my family unless it was meant to be really easy and wonderful. (I was burnt out from #2.) I was absolutely right. In my experience, we get what we expect... so expect wonderful, joyous, beautiful things!! Congratulations. :D

[MyLittleWonders]

I thought going 2 to 3 was so much harder than 1 to 2. Ds#1 was not quite 5 when ds#3 was born; being out-numbered by young ones was overwhelming! (I think if ds#1 was older, or if ds#2 wasn't in the midst of speech therapy multiple times a week, maybe it would not have been quite as overwhelming.) Now this one is a complete surprise, but I have been told by many that after going from 2 to 3, everything else is easy. ;)

[MelanieM]

I thought going 2 to 3 was so much harder than 1 to 2. Ds#1 was not quite 5 when ds#3 was born; being out-numbered by young ones was overwhelming! (I think if ds#1 was older, or if ds#2 wasn't in the midst of speech therapy multiple times a week, maybe it would not have been quite as overwhelming.) Now this one is a complete surprise, but I have been told by many that after going from 2 to 3, everything else is easy. ;)

 

Wow, Brit!! Congratulations!!! :D :D :D

[MyLittleWonders]

Wow, Brit!! Congratulations!!! :D :D :D

Thanks Melanie! :D This one is a complete surprise (I so thought we were totally done) and yet we have realized how much we have wanted him/her. :D

[2squared]

I think the biggest factor is how old your youngest is. My transitions were all relatively easy if my next youngest was at least 24 months old. My transition with only 19 months between sibs (from 3 to 4) was very, very difficult. I'm expecting an easy ride with a large 2.5 year gap between sibs this time.

 

And after the first kid, I was outmanned all day long. :lol: If your oldest is 6yo, he/she should be a big help this time around.

 

And....ah....your age isn't old at all. I'm unexpectedly and definitely unplanned pregnant with #5 at 36yo. Some things get easier with age, some things are more difficult.

[silliness7]

Congratulations!!!:party:

 

When I went from 1 to 2 I thought I was going to lose my mind. My first two were 17 months apart. Perhaps that was part of it. ;) My oldest was still a baby and still needed me so much and the new baby nursed around the clock (he was a horrible sleeper too). I don't think I ever figured it out. I think we stumbled along until they just got older.

 

I remember getting pregnant with #3 and crying thinking I would NEVER be able to pull this off. However, it was soooooo much easier than I expected. When it was time to nurse #3 I sent the other two off to play together and they would. :001_smile: By this time oldest had just turned 3 and my 2nd ds was 2 1/2.

 

It has gotten easier with each one since. They did start spacing out a bit farther which probably helped. But my last one came 18 months after his sister and he was the easiest by far. So I don't know what helps...experience probably. :D

[MelanieM]

Thanks Melanie! :D This one is a complete surprise (I so thought we were totally done) and yet we have realized how much we have wanted him/her. :D

 

This is *exactly* what I was saying to a friend the other day about our third... we were completely shocked, but immediately realized what a blessing we were about to receive. He's such a little sweetheart that is a true gift to our family, and I can't imagine life without him! :D

[Mejane]

My cousin, who has four, always said going from 1-2 was hard, but after that it just rolled. :001_smile:

[3lilreds in NC]

You go from man to man defense to zone defense.

 

That is EXACTLY what my dh said! :lol:

 

For me, I think it was easier going from 2 to 3. My girls were 367 days apart and I thought I was losing my mind there for a while. When Schmooey was born, it was WONDERFUL. I ENJOYED having a baby for the first time. I realized that it didn't have to be heinously stressful. I think dh and I both appreciate the blessing of having a 3rd child, even though he was a BIG surprise to us, too. Makes me wish I hadn't had my tubes tied.

 

I think it comes down to YOU, though. Your experience will be unique because of the other factors you have in your life. My girls were 6 and 7 when Isaac was born, and every bit as fascinated with him as I was. I can remember the doctor asking me when he was 2 months old (!) if he was rolling over yet. I had to answer that that would mean we put him down, because after he was fed, and I held him, and the girls held him, it was nap time. :D I think it would have been very different with another toddler/preschooler around.

 

:grouphug: It's going to be wonderful! I know you're still in shock, but congratulations!

[Mom-ninja.]

First of all Congratulations!:party:

 

I thought going from 2 to 3 was MUCH easier than 1 to 2. My 3rd arrived when my 2nd was 17 mths (yikes!:glare:) and my oldest was 3 1/2.

 

The transition from 1 to 2 is hard because you have to learn to share your attention between multiple children, you have to learn to deal with sibling issues and you lose any sense of quiet time you may have had.

 

I found by the 3rd a couple things happen - first of all you are more experienced - the things that threw you for a loop with the first one rarely phase you by the 3rd. You learn to give up some control and be more easy going. Your perspective on what is important, and what is an emergency, have evolved. Household routines are established and you know how to share your time among children and how to enjoy quiet moments when they appear.

 

Three is a little noisier (especially if 2 are boys!) but there is also more laughter, more love and more fun. The most important thing I have learned now is to relax and enjoy the moments. Get all the hugs and kisses and fun in you can. The time passes by so quickly.

 

:iagree: What she said.

 

Going from 2 to 3 was easy for me. 1 to 2 was HARD.

[sagira]

Yes.

 

But going from 3 to 4 is easy and it gets easier from there (if the olders are helpers) -- so keep going! :D

 

AAaaaaaaah!! :svengo:

 

Don't tell me that! :D

[sagira]

AAaaaaaaah!! :svengo:

 

Don't tell me that! :D

 

:iagree: What she said.

 

Going from 2 to 3 was easy for me. 1 to 2 was HARD.

 

This is *exactly* what I was saying to a friend the other day about our third... we were completely shocked, but immediately realized what a blessing we were about to receive. He's such a little sweetheart that is a true gift to our family, and I can't imagine life without him! :D

 

Wow. I read all the responses. Thank you so much for your kindness, support, encouragement.. :grouphug: It means a lot, as I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone right now.

 

I KNOW when he/she is here, I will love and care for this baby. This baby is here for a reason.

[jazzyfizzle]

Congratulations!

 

 

I felt like going from 2 to 3 was very hard, I felt like I had children everywhere! LOL We had challenges with the 3rd so that probably was a big factor in feeling overwhelmed.

Now I wish my health would have allowed more. :)

[Sue G in PA]

First...congrats! What a blessing...even if it hasn't full registered yet...btdt. ;) Going from 2-3 was so hard for me but that was b/c of a variety of issues that you might not necessarily face. My ds#3 was an extremely difficult child...clingy, cranky and then came the toddler years. :glare: Add to that an extremely PPDd Mom and very challenging life-circumstances and it was a recipe for disaster. Not a fun time. However, going from 3-4 and 4-5, 5-6 and 6-7 was a piece of cake. I think you will be just fine. New babies are so much fun.

[sagira]

My oldest is going to be 7 1/2 and my youngest 3 1/2. I do rather like the spacing, though. Hopefully it will be easier than I think right now. As a pp said, think positive, wonderful thoughts, and they will be yours. Sage advice.

[MelanieM]

My oldest is going to be 7 1/2 and my youngest 3 1/2. I do rather like the spacing, though. Hopefully it will be easier than I think right now. As a pp said, think positive, wonderful thoughts, and they will be yours. Sage advice.

 

My oldest was 6.5 and my youngest just turned 4... It's a *fabulous* age difference! In fact, right now my 7.5 yr old is on the floor amusing the baby, who thinks she's just the most marvelous creature alive! There's nothing like a baby giggling over the silly antics of an older sibling. :D

 

For what it's worth, my third has been an amazing healing experience for me, and has really opened me back up to the joy of babies. It is so amazing to end on such a high note!! (This time I'm really, really sure we're stopping... though of course I said that the last time. :lol: No really, we're done. (In case anyone with decision making power on this front is listening!!))

[rawbanana]

I think it depends on how old your older children are. For me going from none to one was the biggest challenge. My first 4 were all so close together (16-20mo apart) that I never fully left the baby stage before the next one was due to arrive.

But now my 5th and youngest is 2.5 and I think it would be more of a struggle to get pregnant now after almost leaving 'babyhood' =)

You'll be fine! =)

 

Anna

[StephanieZ]

I hate to tell you this at this moment. . . but honestly, it was 1000 times harder for us. Much of that was likely just b/c our #3 child was a very unhappy baby from the moment she was born up until shortly after she turned 2. Plus, I had a much harder pg, birth, and postpartum period medically and emotionally than the first two.

 

Here's hoping your #3 is super smooth.

 

And, of course, despite our challenges, I wouldn't trade dc#3 for the world and would do it again in a hearbeat. DH is more restrained and held the line refusing to have more kids. To be honest, I am sure that might have been different if we hadn't struggled so with #3.

 

A compensation for her challenging first 2 years has been that she is an absolute sweetheart NOW. :)

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

I'm still in shock about being pregnant. Dh and I were very cautious, and well.. I thought I was done. Here I am, 33 years old and pregnant with my third (:001_huh:) child. I'm only 4 weeks along. I found out yesterday. This is a complete surprise.

 

Is it tough going from two to three? Tougher than going from one to two? I thought going to from one to two was rough, as I am an only child myself. I always pictured myself as having two children. I'm happy with my two children. I had plans. Then God throws me a curve-ball :tongue_smilie:

 

What do you think?

 

(Still processing this.)

 

Congratulations!!!!!

 

0-1: Earth-shattering, life-changing overnight, WOW this is a tough gig!

 

1-2: What?! Even when DH and I are here together, neither one of us gets to relax?!

 

2-3: Easy, breezy. I know what I'm doing! Take a number please; I will be right with you. :lol:

 

Really, I think most people stop having babies when they're just beginning to get really good at it. :lol: Mine are each 19 months apart. We packed them in like sardines and couldn't be happier. :D

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

Hopefully it will be easier than I think right now. As a pp said, think positive, wonderful thoughts, and they will be yours. Sage advice.

 

Yes, and a little planning doesn't hurt either. ;) I think part of the reason the transition to 3 was easy for me is because ds4 was (and is) an incredible sleeper. I attribute that to the fact that I applied all the advice from The No-Cry Sleep Solution from the time of his birth. Same for dd5 too and she is my best sleeper. I read the book cover to cover at least once during my last month of pregnancy and really focused on getting off to the best start. I highly recommend it. A well-rested baby makes for a happy Mommy in these parts.

[sagira]

My oldest was 6.5 and my youngest just turned 4... It's a *fabulous* age difference! In fact, right now my 7.5 yr old is on the floor amusing the baby, who thinks she's just the most marvelous creature alive! There's nothing like a baby giggling over the silly antics of an older sibling. :D

 

For what it's worth, my third has been an amazing healing experience for me, and has really opened me back up to the joy of babies. It is so amazing to end on such a high note!! (This time I'm really, really sure we're stopping... though of course I said that the last time. :lol: No really, we're done. (In case anyone with decision making power on this front is listening!!))

 

Congratulations!!!!!

 

0-1: Earth-shattering, life-changing overnight, WOW this is a tough gig!

 

1-2: What?! Even when DH and I are here together, neither one of us gets to relax?!

 

2-3: Easy, breezy. I know what I'm doing! Take a number please; I will be right with you. :lol:

 

Really, I think most people stop having babies when they're just beginning to get really good at it. :lol: Mine are each 19 months apart. We packed them in like sardines and couldn't be happier. :D

 

:lol: Gotta love the women of the Hive -- thank you!!!

[oldskool]

Going from 2 to 3 was nothing compared to 1 to 2. Actually our third was a big surprise that DH was not exactly excited about. After she was born DH and DD became best friends and we cannot imagine not having her. She is a lot of fun and adds so much to our family. Unexpected happenings sometimes are the best gifts. Congratulations on your new family member!

 

Lesley

[musicmommy]

I think so much has to do with the age/stage of the children and also with life circumstances. The day our 3rd was born, we our oldest was still 3 (almost 4) and the middle was 21 months old. Not to mention that we were unemployed at the time. It was hard! Our older 2 still needed so much from us and we were just exhausted. Now, my neighbor just had her 3rd and she's got a 10 year old and a 7 year old. She's commented to me about how easy it is and she was worried so much about adding the 3rd.

 

Now, we just know that there are other issues with having the 3rd. Things like, most specials for sporting events, giveaways, Disney, hotels are based on a family of 4. Paying for the 5th person is outrageous in comparison. It's also caught us because there is just no way of staying in the cars we had with 3 growing boys.

 

It's awesome though! As hard as it is, it really truly is awesome! It's a transition as we can't just each take a child, but you figure it all out quickly.

 

Congrats!!!!:grouphug:

[AuntieM]

Haven't read all the other replies...

 

My husband says that 2 to 3 is going from man-to-man coverage to zone defense. Of course, we went from 1 to 3 so it was a different adjustment.

 

Children are a blessing. Like all good parents, you'll just take things a step at a time and give it your best effort. You will do a great job! You will feel better once the surprise wears off.

[FaithManor]

Our transitions were weird...dd was nearly six when ds #1 was born so we didn't deal with toddler add baby or preschooler add baby. But, on the other hand, it was slightly strange to be nursing while helping dd learn to read with no other phase of development in between.

 

Two to three was a bit tougher but that was because the boys were so close together and my pregnancies are no picnic. Otherwise I don't think it would have been too bad because dd was a natural born mother and loved helping with the babies. DH is the original baby-man so he was always a huge help...it was the health thing that got me.

 

Three to four was the BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD transition. That was because, despite our best efforts and medical intervention, God had other plans and pregnancy 4 began 9 months after pregnancy 3 and I was under strict orders from three doctors to NOT HAVE ANYMORE OR YOU MIGHT NOT LIVE TO RAISE THEM!

 

When the ultrasound showed boy #3, I knew I was in trouble because three boys 3.5 and under is just WOW and then thinking about feeding three teenage boys at once was OH NO!

 

That said, I wouldn't trade any of them for anything and I am so blessed to have them. However, they are having to contribute to the gardening and such because they are becoming an expensive bunch of calorie mongers to feed!

 

Once you get used to the idea, baby #3 will be a dream come true! If I could have more, I would. Once you hit four, any number after that is icing on the cake. But, though dh would have liked to have had a one ot two more, he felt the need to take care of things permanently. Sometimes I am very sad about this.

 

Faith

[sassenach]

Congrats!! Going from 1 to 2 was my hardest transition. Going from 2 to 3 was my easiest.

[Carrie12345]

Going from 2 to 3 was difficult in some ways, but mine were 13 months apart. I was tired! The actual parenting part (when I was awake enough) was relatively easy.

 

But I never felt that going from 1 to 2 was very hard. My oldest has always been pretty independent and somewhat helpful.

 

3 to 4 was a snap, though I was terrified.

Please, oh please, let 4 to 5 be just as easy!!!!!!!

[cjgrubbs]

I thought 1-2 was hard (probably b/c my husband were both ENTIRELY TOO involved with our 1 child) so when the second came along, the 1st had a hard time not having both of our undivided attention. He adjusted though and we survived. BOth of my 1st 2 children were not planned, but were 3 years apart. We decided to try for 1 more and DS #3 came along right as the others were turning 6 and 3, so we thought this was perfect. Now, I have to say I wish we had decided for another. My first 2 sons are very close and play together all the time and I think my younger feels very left out. He will be 4 this week so having another now wouldn't help this problem as they would be 5 years apart! And while we aren't currently planning another, sometimes I think God might have other plans for us. Have you read Vodie Baucham's Family Driven Faith? IT's an excellent book (not that we follow everything he says in there) and a great reminder that CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING and God will provide when He gifts us with children!

[kokotg]

My observation has been (and my quick skim of this thread seems to hold it up) that people either have a really tough time going from 1 to 2 OR from 2 to 3. For me, 1 to 2 was much, much harder. 2 to 3 was easy by comparison. I'm actually one of the few people who thinks 1 to 2 was harder than 0 to 1, in fact. With one baby I felt like "ahh--this is what I'm supposed to be doing!" I loved it, and he was a super easy baby. Then the chaos hit with the second one. I think it has something to do with spacing and probably a lot to do with personalities; my second was my toughest baby but my most easygoing toddler...so when the third came along I had an easy toddler/easy baby combo instead of the relatively tough toddler and relatively tough baby combo I had with number 2.

[kmacnchs]

The transition from 1 to 2 is hard because you have to learn to share your attention between multiple children, you have to learn to deal with sibling issues and you lose any sense of quiet time you may have had.

 

I found by the 3rd a couple things happen - first of all you are more experienced - the things that threw you for a loop with the first one rarely phase you by the 3rd. You learn to give up some control and be more easy going. Your perspective on what is important, and what is an emergency, have evolved. Household routines are established and you know how to share your time among children and how to enjoy quiet moments when they appear. EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY my experience!

 

:iagree::iagree:Oh my goodness - this is EXACTLY what happened to me! I concur :) Everyone told me that going from 2-3 was crazy b/c you only have 2 hands, 2 people, etc. and it is a lot to handle but I don't remember feeling overwhelmed w/#3 as I was w/#2. Not to brag, but I kinda felt like a pro w/#3 (w/nursing especially) - I still had questions but I was A LOT less stressed (I guess b/c I had btdt w/2 very different babies already). I am excited for you!

 

ETA: oh, and my 1st 2 are 16 mo apart; 2 & 3 are 18 mo apart - not sure if those extra 2 mo made a difference. I doubt it. #3 & #4 are 21 mo apart.

[Embassy]

Going from 1 to 2 was very difficult because my boys were close in age. When I had my youngest my boys were 4 and 6 and it was so much easier.

[orangearrow]

First - congratulations!!! My third was the same kind of total surprise and, honestly, I wasn't "ready" for him until about a week after he was born. ;) I was super sick the first half of the pregnancy, and after that was over and done with - I would completely forget I was pregnant. I was so busy chasing after my 2 little girls. I would run into things with my belly (I'd just forget it was there!) - slept on my stomach - forgot to schedule doctor's appointments (whereas with the first two, I kept up with their week-by-week development, lol).

 

Yes, for me, going from 2-3 was wicked hard. Mine were younger than yours, though, so that probably contributed to the intensity (my oldest was 4 yo when baby#3 was born).

 

Now, though? Ohmigosh, I lovelovelovelove having 3 kiddos - and that magic #3 baby is a total and absolute sweetheart. Everyone loves him - you just can't not love him. It's a great number for us. Half the time I wish we'd had three more, in fact, lol! Once we got over the hump, it's been awesome. They are never bored - there's always someone willing to play, and they keep great tabs on one another.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

I feel off having three children and would love to have more but it's not going to happen.

[Amber in AUS]

I didn't read all of the responses but in my experience going from 2 to 3 was a piece of cake compared with going from 1 to 2. I don't think adding #4 is going to be tough either. Congratulations :D

[micandme]

I didn't read all of the responses but in my experience going from 2 to 3 was a piece of cake compared with going from 1 to 2. I don't think adding #4 is going to be tough either. Congratulations :D

 

:iagree:

[melmichigan]

We skipped 1 to 2 altogether, and went from 1 to 3 with the birth of our twins DD's so no advice, but Congratulations!