Alright, so I've lost some weight...

[novagirl]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING?? At first I thought it was because maybe they didn't notice, or maybe I haven't been around many people, but boy, its been some time and not a PEEP! Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

[Shelly in IL]

I know I am!!! Good job!

[Pamela H in Texas]

Congrats! I've lost a similar amount of weight (size wise at least) and LOVE it. Some people say stuff, but many do not. Maybe they think of it as "well, if I say something, they'll think I think they were fat." Or maybe they know that most everyone gains it back in a year so will give you time. Or maybe they're feeling guilty for not doing the same. Or maybe they're afraid you'll give advice they aren't really interested in. Or or or...

 

Regardless, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!

[Brigitte]

I am going to guess that they are afraid they are going to offend you. Crazy, I know.

[TKDmom]

Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

Probably. Weight is such a taboo subject for people. And noticing that you lost weight would be implying that you were overweight before...?

[Tap]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING?? At first I thought it was because maybe they didn't notice, or maybe I haven't been around many people, but boy, its been some time and not a PEEP! Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

Commenting on someones weight is a tricky thing.

 

On one hand is a nice complement to say 'I notice your working hard to improve something about yourself' on the other hand it says 'I noticed you weren't taking care of yourself before'.

 

Weight loss isn't always due to a positive cause, and people don't always want to delve into someones personal life (health issues, emotional trauma etc).

 

People have been conditioned by society to not comment on a 'ladies' weight. So, those who have been cautioned about this in the past (or have had it blow up in their face) may never comment due to culture.

 

Sometimes it is hard to tell what has changed about someone. People may notice something different...but not know exactly what has changed.

 

I will throw caution to the wind and congratulate you on your success though.:D

[Tutor]

I know that I hesitate to mention it when it appears someone has lost weight because I'm afraid the conversation will go something like this:

 

Me: "Hi! Haven't seen you in awhile. Wow! You look great! Did you lose weight?"

 

Them: "Um, thanks.... no. I colored my hair, though." (All the while fidgeting with their clothes as if they are trying to determine if they are actually overweight and I am trying to tell them this subtly.)

 

Or something equally silly which shows how unobservant I am. Stupid, I know. But I'm afraid I'll compliment the person then be totally off-base in my compliment.

[happyWImom]

People are weird.

 

I will usually just say "Have you lost weight?" When they say yes, I tell them how great they look. I, personally would be thrilled if someone asked if I had lost weight-even if I hadn't.:001_smile: It's not like saying "Wow, you look like you've lost a ton." That might offend.

 

But, back to you. Congratulations!!!:party: Good for you! Wish me luck; I'm starting WW this week.

[novagirl]

I guess I thought everyone would be saying something to me, since its such a change and was so shocked that no one said ANYTHING. As I size 12, I wasn't obese, or anything like that, but I could have stood to lose a few. To me an 8 seems like a lifetime away from a 12. Maybe it seems that way because I did it the right way, working hard and eating clean. It came off slow and steady and I think thats the right way to do it.

[Wildiris]

A woman I see on a weekly basis through ballet class with the girls lost more weight than you over the course of six months. I knew this woman to be on the larger side, but as the months went by I did notice a change in her appearance. It took me six months to find the right way to approach the topic without offending her. On the spur of the moment, during a ballet recital, I commented on how great she looked. She looked fabulous. Besides loosing weight she cut her hair, and that was the cue I took- I talked about her hair cut and her story came tumbling out. She was beaming as I hope you are with your accomplishment. I wish I could loose a dress size too.

 

 

Best of luck,

Iris

[chaik76]

I guess I thought everyone would be saying something to me, since its such a change and was so shocked that no one said ANYTHING. As I size 12, I wasn't obese, or anything like that, but I could have stood to lose a few. To me an 8 seems like a lifetime away from a 12. Maybe it seems that way because I did it the right way, working hard and eating clean. It came off slow and steady and I think thats the right way to do it.

Congratulations!!! I usually don't say anything except to family if I notice...though I will tell someone that they look great or something like that. I just don't want to offend someone if they haven't lost weight or are sensitive about their weight.

[mcconnellboys]

I did the same thing and not a single person, except my parents (and my immediate family, of course), every even mentioned it. It made me feel sort of invisible, as if no one ever really looked at me or noticed what I looked like, so I can totally commisserate.....

[3and3]

i went down 2 sizes too. Only person who said something was my friend who knew i was trying to loose the wieght. Don't get discouraged just be HAPPY. Congrats by the way:D

[novagirl]

Thats what I was thinking inside, am I actually invisible???

 

Well, I guess I see that people would not want to offend me but from now on, if I have noticed that someone MAY have lost weight, I am going to tell them how marvelous they look, I wont mention weight, just that they look great!

[elegantlion]

Thats what I was thinking inside, am I actually invisible???

 

Well, I guess I see that people would not want to offend me but from now on, if I have noticed that someone MAY have lost weight, I am going to tell them how marvelous they look, I wont mention weight, just that they look great!

 

I lost weight several years ago (have since regained it, umph!:glare:). Anyway at a family reunion my MIL and I were talking about how I had lost 40 lbs. Another relative that I did not know well pipped up. "Well last time we were together I did think you were pretty heavy." Great, not. I would rather have been ignored.

 

So maybe you looked great already and people don't want to comment lest they seem as devoid of manners as my dh's family member. :lol:

 

Congratulations, btw!

[mom2denj]

I know I am!!! Good job!

 

Ditto!!!

[MicheleinMN]

Okay, I noticed that if people either were or had been overweight they would say something about my weight loss, but if they were thin....not a word. I found it funny.

 

Keep up the good work! And congrats!!

[GWOB]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING?? At first I thought it was because maybe they didn't notice, or maybe I haven't been around many people, but boy, its been some time and not a PEEP! Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

I feel ya! I went from a 14 to a size 4 (almost a 2). Some people gushed about how great I looked. Some just stared:glare:. I have a few ideas.

 

I grew up Southern. We are sweet, but kinda nosy:lol: We will ask if you lost weight, gained weight, are knocked up, etc. Now, I moved around a lot due to being a Navy wife. I noticed people elsewhere say NOTHING about your condition until it is glaringly obvious. For instance, while in New York I was pregnant with my youngest. I'm a short gal, so my belly just pops right out, usually about 5 minutes after conception. No one said ANYTHING until I was about 6 months along.

 

I am currently in the Midwest, where it seems people do not like change. I lost about 40lbs before anyone said anything to me! Honestly, I think people are really trying to be nice. They do not want to acknowledge the fact that you were "fat." By saying "Have you lost weight?" they are somehow acknowledging the fact that you carried weight that needed to be lost.

 

Oh, CONGRATS on the weight loss!:party:I am sure you are one hot, sexy momma! It is tough! You should be soooooooooooooo proud of yourself, even if no one else acknowledges.

[coffeefreak]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING?? At first I thought it was because maybe they didn't notice, or maybe I haven't been around many people, but boy, its been some time and not a PEEP! Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

Yes. I rarely comment on weight loss. I never want people to think I thought they were unattractive (I rarely think overweight people are unattractive). And, you just never know if someone lost the weight intentionally or if they were sick. I know, sounds crazy, but that's me. Now, if I knew you, and you were obese, and I knew you were working hard for health reasons, I would be your biggest cheerleader. But just an occasional friend, I would not say anything.

 

BTW, congrats!:D

Dorinda

[asta]

On the other side...

 

Sometimes people are just mean.

 

I have a SIL who has always been "skinny with boobs". Well, now she's not. She spent her youth eating whatever she wanted and never exercising. It's not working out so well for her after 40. Years of poor posture haven't helped.

 

Over 20 years ago, when we all met, she was, to put it nicely, nasty about it.

 

I have never been, IMO, "fat" - I have ranged from a 6-14 depending on illness, baby weight, injury - whatever. I'm happiest when I'm fit and healthy, whatever the size. Well, at this point, (and for quite some time now) that size has been considerably smaller than SIL.

 

When she first noticed, she made all sorts of underbreath nasty comments. Now she just "sizes me up" and turns away.

 

I don't get it. I feel horribly out of shape at the moment. And the funny thing is, *I* was always the one secretly wishing I could wear the bikini when we were all college students. In all of these years I've NEVER been able to wear a bikini (my skin + pregnancy has not equalled something I'm comfy with).

 

I think we all have our insecurities. Just be pleased with your own accomplishments (hey! I finally got boobs after the baby! - that's not really an accomplishment, but, um, you know what I mean...). The rest of the world will just have to deal with their own issues in their own way.

 

 

a

[Peela]

The same thing has happened to me lately! I lost 5kgs and no one- not even dh or kids- said a thing! When I told them and asked why, the kids said, but you're our mum, we dont notice stuff like that. DH said he loves me no matter what. All very sweet and all, but still! No friends said anything either.

Oh well. I feel better.

[Carrie12345]

I went from a 12 to a 6 (and back :tongue_smilie:) and a few of my relatives had positive comments. Unfortunately, there were also people who kept asking me if I was "okay". I guess I look sick at a 6? :001_huh: It was very disturbing.

 

I'd rather people don't say anything. Because dh remained rather low-key (which I didn't like at first), I don't feel quite as upset as I would have been about being back to a 12!

I'm shooting to go back to an 8!

[teachermom2834]

I went from a 12/14 to an 8 a few years ago. I got alot of "are you okay?", "are you starving yourself ?", and "don't lose any more!".

 

It was weird. I was hardly wasting away. People were weird about it, though. Either I looked very bad or there was some jealousy or something.

 

Don't worry about it.

 

I teach my boys not to comment on people's appearance ever. As they get older I'll teach them that compliments are good but right now there is way too much potential for "foot in the mouth" with them.

 

Also, I HATE it when people ask if I've lost weight and I haven't. I'm sensitive about my weight and it really bothers me. So, I don't say anything until someone has lost so much that I am positive they have lost. Then I gush!

[coffeefreak]

The same thing has happened to me lately! I lost 5kgs and no one- not even dh or kids- said a thing! When I told them and asked why, the kids said, but you're our mum, we dont notice stuff like that. DH said he loves me no matter what. All very sweet and all, but still! No friends said anything either.

Oh well. I feel better.

 

Maybe it's because they don't know what a KG is? :lol:

 

OK, OK, I know your family knows what a KG is, but your post made me giggle because all I could think of was, "What does 5 kgs look like? Maybe that's why they didn't notice."

 

OK, I'll take my bad American joke and go elsewhere.:leaving:

 

Congrats Peela!

Dorinda

[Peela]

Maybe it's because they don't know what a KG is? :lol:

 

OK, OK, I know your family knows what a KG is, but your post made me giggle because all I could think of was, "What does 5 kgs look like? Maybe that's why they didn't notice."

 

OK, I'll take my bad American joke and go elsewhere.:leaving:

 

Congrats Peela!

Dorinda

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[MistyJ]

Congratulations! How did you do it?

[KidsHappen]

I went from a 12 to a 6 (and back :tongue_smilie:) and a few of my relatives had positive comments. Unfortunately, there were also people who kept asking me if I was "okay". I guess I look sick at a 6? :001_huh: It was very disturbing.

 

I'd rather people don't say anything. Because dh remained rather low-key (which I didn't like at first), I don't feel quite as upset as I would have been about being back to a 12!

I'm shooting to go back to an 8!

 

Yes, about two years ago I went from a size 12 down to a size 6 in a relatively short period of time and apparently it was quite alarming to my family and doctors. My children told me I looked emaciated and my doctor threatened to put me on something to cause me to gain weight if I didn't rebound soon. Since then I gained about 20 lbs and I am up to a size 10. I would have been happy to stop about 10 lbs ago at an 8 but oh well. When I recently told my family though that I had gained 20 lbs. they couldn't believe it. I guess to them I had just gained enough that they could stop worrying and after that I just looked like myself to them.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

yeah, sometimes there is no way to comment that I've noticed you've lost weight without sounding like I think you were fat before, so I just keep my mouth shut (unless you're my BFF).

[ereks mom]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING?? At first I thought it was because maybe they didn't notice, or maybe I haven't been around many people, but boy, its been some time and not a PEEP! Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

:confused:

[funschooler5]

I've lost 25 lbs since the summer, and nobody noticed for the longest time until about a month ago. I was kind of mad about it when nobody said anything, but then I had two people tell me, "Wow, you've lost a LOT of weight!" and that kind of made me mad too! :lol: It was like they were saying that I looked bad before (overly-sensitive of me, I know).

 

I think the best thing to say is, "You look great." Then the person can take it whatever way they want. :tongue_smilie:

[Aggie]

Maybe it's because they don't know what a KG is? :lol:

 

OK, OK, I know your family knows what a KG is, but your post made me giggle because all I could think of was, "What does 5 kgs look like? Maybe that's why they didn't notice."

 

OK, I'll take my bad American joke and go elsewhere.:leaving:

 

Congrats Peela!

Dorinda

 

Whew, glad I'm not alone! I was thinking, "5Kg? What is that, like 3 miles":lol::lol:

[coffeefreak]

Whew, glad I'm not alone! I was thinking, "5Kg? What is that, like 3 miles":lol::lol:

 

:smilielol5:

 

Peela -You are truly gracious to put up with us uncouth Americans.

 

Aggie-that's HILARIOUS!!! We just started learning the metric system in math today. I will never confuse a KG with a KM again.

 

Blessings!

Dorinda

[Haiku]

Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

Yes. Saying something like, "Hey, you've lost weight!" or "Wow, you look great!" comes with the unfortunate dark side of "Because before you were FAT!"

 

One of my friends has lost a lot of weight recently. I only mention it if she brings it up first.

 

Tara

[dani3boys]

Okay, I noticed that if people either were or had been overweight they would say something about my weight loss, but if they were thin....not a word. I found it funny.

 

Keep up the good work! And congrats!!

 

 

I have found that as a thin person people don't want you to talk about weight. I have had experiences where I talked about my weight and had someone tell me that I'm not allowed to talk about weight if I was skinny. I wasn't even talking about my current weight, but about the 50 pounds I gained when I was pregnant with my twins. I have found it much safer to just not say anything.

[DarlaS]

I lost about 30 lbs over the summer too. No one outside my family said anything. I mentioned it to my hygienist at a recent dental appt. and she said. "I didn't think you looked overweight before". Nice girl--but I was a size 16 and about 175 lbs on my 5'6" frame. :D

 

I think the PC way to handle a friend who has lost weight (and it's obvious) if you want to compliment them just say "Wow, you look good! Did you change your hair?" That give them the chance to bring it up if they want to--and change the subject if they don't. :tongue_smilie:

 

Then again, you may want to ignore me. I once embarrassed myself as a teen complimenting my aunt's new hairstyle. She had a brain tumor and it was a wig. :ohmy::o

[SquirrellyMama]

yeah, sometimes there is no way to comment that I've noticed you've lost weight without sounding like I think you were fat before, so I just keep my mouth shut (unless you're my BFF).

 

:iagree:

[SquirrellyMama]

I grew up Southern. We are sweet, but kinda nosy:lol: We will ask if you lost weight, gained weight, are knocked up, etc. Now, I moved around a lot due to being a Navy wife. I noticed people elsewhere say NOTHING about your condition until it is glaringly obvious. For instance, while in New York I was pregnant with my youngest. I'm a short gal, so my belly just pops right out, usually about 5 minutes after conception. No one said ANYTHING until I was about 6 months along.

 

 

Pregnancy isn't something I comment on unless I've heard it from the person they are pregnant. I've known people who were gushed over and congratulated when they were not pregnant.

 

I think it was Paul Reiser in his book who said something about not assuming a woman is pregnant until you see a baby coming out.

[Frontier Mom]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING?? At first I thought it was because maybe they didn't notice, or maybe I haven't been around many people, but boy, its been some time and not a PEEP! Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

Well, let me just say Congrats! And share how you did that please:D I need some motivation!!

 

I have lost before and, to be honest, sometimes I wish people wouldn't say anything because it usually comes out really tacky. Things like, "You haven't been sick have you?" or "You're not planning on losing any more are you?"

 

Kinda like those pregnancy stories, sometimes enjoy the silence.

[mirth]

I've gone from a size 12 to a size 8....and working towards that 6. I KNOW people have noticed that I have lost weight. I can see them sizing me up after not having seen me in a while, so why would not ANYONE but my husband or FIL notice that I have lost weight or SAY ANYTHING??

 

I don't know.

 

But CONGRATULATIONS!

[Tap]

Pregnancy isn't something I comment on unless I've heard it from the person they are pregnant. I've known people who were gushed over and congratulated when they were not pregnant.

 

 

 

:iagree: I had a friend who wanted a baby but hadn't conceived. She used to get asked a few times a year if she was pg just because of her build. It used to make her sad and mad at peoples rudeness.

[LauraGB]

Are people thinking they are going to offend me or something?

 

Probably. But if *I* noticed you lost weight, I would totally congratulate you. Let's face it, you obviously knew you were overweight before (although, I'm not sure size 12 is necessarily overweight!), so it really wouldn't be a secret or anything, or you wouldn't have bothered to try, right? I would probably jump on the You Go Girl bandwagon with a "Hey, you lost weight! You look fantastic! How did you do that?" or some such thing.

 

But, I'm kinda simple and occasionally ill mannered.

 

So...:party:Congatulations!