And she said, "Yours won't amount to anything!"

[Charles Wallace]

Vent Start.

 

I was standing in line at Costco this morning with my two children who were being very well-behaved. We needed to pick up treats for the Valentine party. Behind me was a little old lady who asked why my children were not in school. With a smile on my face, I explained we home school. It went downhill from there. She started grilling me as to my reasons. I just attempted to stay upbeat and keep the conversation light.

 

Then in front of the cashier and everyone else in a very long line she cuts me off and says, "I don't believe in THAT [home school]! My children grew up to be lawyers and doctors. Yours won't amount to anything!"

 

GASP! She said that right in front of my children.

 

I have never been so mad in all my life. I was shaking. I turned my back to her and didn't say another word. I was afraid if I said anything I would just go OFF!

 

When we got to the car, I explained to the children that the lady was very ignorant. I made sure to tell them that they are very bright and can be anything they want to be when they grow up.

 

I'm still UPSET about it. Just unbelievable to me. And I'm upset that I'm letting her get to me. I should just blow it off but it was just really rude.

 

I've had people question our choice to home school. I've gotten the "oh" look but never in all my five years of homeschooling have I ever had a person be that rude in public and in front of my children!

 

Vent over.

 

Gee.

If she made all the right educational decisions, why isn't her response one of courteous concern...not nasty, embittered defensiveness?

 

I am so sorry this happened to you. I have no idea what I would say in that situation, and frankly, a turned back is probably a lot better than any option I would've chosen. Again, I am so sorry.

 

I wanted to add this: Apparently, school did not help her become appropriately socialized.

Edited February 13, 2010 by Charles Wallace

[Charles Wallace]

Maybe she has Alzheimer's or something.

 

Nearly every stupid thing I've ever heard said or seen done (slapping kids around etc) has been in a Walmart, most notably in Florida Walmarts. All those tourists, I suppose. ;) :auto:

 

Where you in a Florida Walmart?

 

There is something in the lighting, I know it. Maybe lead pouring out of the beams or something? It's probably safer to cook in a crock-pot than go to Walmart.

 

Silly aside, you know she's all wrong, not matter her neurological issues, so never- you- mind *her*.

 

 

Wow...I thought that was only the Walmarts around here!! Seriously, I try to avoid going to the Walmarts in our area because quite literally every single time I'm there, I see some form of minor child abuse.

[KidsHappen]

This reminds me of a friend who had a similar situation when out running errands with her kids. A 'little old lady' wanted to know why they weren't in school and my friend told her that they were homeschooled. The 'little old lady' then went on to ask all kinds of questions. My friend found herself losing patience with her questions/attitude and when the 'little old lady' asked her, "Well how do you know they are getting good grades?" She replied, "Well of course they are getting good grades!! I'm sleeping with the principal!!"

 

Conversation over :001_smile:

 

Yvonne in NE

 

:lol:

[KidsHappen]

Are you suggesting I have dementia? I wouldn't automatically think dementia. I have had far too many similar encounters with people who were too young for dementia.

 

That's why my response would have been to mutter to myself, not quite so under my breathe, "Don't engage the lunatics. Don't engage the lunatics."

 

In any case, I have never been accosted by a stranger like this because I think that I too closely and obviously resemble the lunatics. Oh, the stories I could tell about the crazy things I have done though. :001_smile:

[mrs.m]

Then in front of the cashier and everyone else in a very long line she cuts me off and says, "I don't believe in THAT [home school]! My children grew up to be lawyers and doctors. Yours won't amount to anything!"

 

 

 

"So Einstein, Sandra Day O'Connor, and Andrew Carnegie amounted to nothing?"

 

But in reality, I would have been so surprised that I would have been speachless.

 

She is ignorant!

 

:grouphug:

[KidsHappen]

Haha....this reminds me of my husbands dear late Great-Grandmother. She was 98 ......one Thanksgiving she looked across the table at my sister-in-law and said, "Shovel it in honey!" I almost choked trying not to laugh. She used to beg us to buy her Whiskey all the time. :lol:

 

:lol: This reminds me of something my own grandma once said to my hubby and I that is not appopriate to reprint here. It is a very fond memory of a funny old lady though.

[Scarlett]

In the famous words of Jeff Dunham's puppet "Achmed...the Dead Terrorist" - my response would have been... "I Kiiiiiiillllllll YOU" Right before I lunged forward and ended up getting myself arrested! Oh.my.goodness!

 

http://www.jeffdunham.com/#/achmed

 

I laughed so hard at this I nearly spit coke on my screen. Hilarious stuff!

[Scarlett]

And you should be PROUD of yourself for keeping your cool....THAT was the better lesson to teach your children. Can you imagine how awful you'd be feeling right now if you had gone off on the lady in front of your children.....would have made your actions as poor as hers!

 

So, what your children learned today is that some people don't have a clue what they're talking about, and are absolutely 100% totally and completely wrong....but, they still deserve a small amount of respect, because being human includes being wrong. And that stooping to their level of behavior makes you no better than they are.

 

You might also discuss the fact that you were very angry at what she said....and whatever you had been feeling, thinking of doing.....but that sometimes you have to control that anger and be the bigger person. Self-control/anger management, whatever today's buzz word for it is, happens to be a behavior that very few people seem to know "now-a-days". Teaching your child about it can only be a positive!

 

Sad reminder in the shootings at the college in Alabama....preliminary news reports makes it sound like it was someone angry at the faculty. The fact that so much anger is spilling out in the form of killing just terrifies me. Teaching our childrent that it's ok to be mad, but also how to channel that anger properly is something a lot of adults need to be retaught...or taught!

 

All joking aside (and I think most people were just rallying in fun to support Daisy) your post above is spot on. I think she handled herself beautifully--including the part where she told her children in the car how wrong that woman was.

 

(some of the suggested responses are HILARIOUS though)

[ChrisB]

How about: (with eyes wide open) "WOW, you are very rude!"

 

Straight and to the point without anger.

[swellmomma]

Wow what a crazy old bat. I read it to my mom, because she tookt he boys for haircuts yesterday, and an old man asked why the kids were not in school. Turns out the man homeschooled his older kids right thorugh till they when to university and is still homeschooling a 10 year old. As he was talking to my mom about it another man jumped in the conversation. He said he used to be very much against homeschooling, but his grandson is homeschooled and doing so well, he could never see any of his grandkids going to public school and has been telling his other children to homeschool his other grandkids when they are old enough for school.

 

She has never been out with teh kids during a school day or had anyone ask about homeschooling, let alone having a 30 minute discussion with 2 strange men about it. She found it very eye opening.

 

I read her yours and asked what she would have done if the conversation when more along the lines of what that old woman said to you rather than these fellow homeschoolers. She says she likely would have chewed the woman out while restraining herself from hitting her in teh face. She said that if that woman honestly thinks that only shildren who went to ps could be successful they have not met her grandson yet, who would not be doing as well as he is if not for his homeschooling. (this coming from the woman who has been opposed to my homeschooling the kids since the beginning), I guess even grandma's get uber protective of the kids, and leaves little wonder where I get my momma bear tendancies.

 

You held amazing restraint in the situation. As did your kids. I know I would not have been able to bite my tongue, and I know my kids enough to know what they would have said to this woman. Let's just say it would confirm all negative thoughts she has about homeschoolers ;)

[Holly IN]

"And considering your level of ignorance, it's a good thing your children weren't homeschooled! There's enough ignorance in the world without contributing to it."

 

No, not really. I do try to be nice. It's been a bad day.

 

I would actually say this!! :glare::glare::glare:

 

Holly (I am bad, I know!!)

[swellmomma]

In the famous words of Jeff Dunham's puppet "Achmed...the Dead Terrorist" - my response would have been... "I Kiiiiiiillllllll YOU" Right before I lunged forward and ended up getting myself arrested! Oh.my.goodness!

 

http://www.jeffdunham.com/#/achmed

 

You are evil :D I just went to you tube to watch Achmed the dead terrorist, and now my house work will never get done because I pulled a muscle laughing so hard.

[mirth]

And I'm upset that I'm letting her get to me. I should just blow it off but it was just really rude.

 

I'm sorry. Push this nitwit out of your mind. Really not worth the mental real estate she is currently occupying rent-free in your mind. She is rude and uninformed and to be offended by her requires assuming that she knows "anything" at all.

 

Don't just blow it off. Blow it away. What negative garbage that happens at Costco stay at Costco.

 

You will always remain in the eyes of your kids and anyone who saw you (even her) a composed, positive homeschooling parent who would not dignify the crassness of a bitter stranger. Who knows if the old crazy biddy would've faked a heart attack if you further engaged her.

[G5052]

And said, "Time will tell, end of conversation."

[AnitaMcC]

Whoa. I know you're mad, and I would be too. Burning righteous anger.

 

But I have an alternative for you.

 

You can't fix stupid, and she apparently was. There's no use talking or reasoning with people like that.

 

My Dh's favorite saying is "You can't fix stupidity". Then under his breath he says something about a stupidity gene...

[Remudamom]

This is all hysterical. I once told an old bat I had to go home and lock my children in the closet. Everyone else in the waiting room got it, but she was just an idiot.

 

And I do believe the Mungo is demented. Why? Takes one to know one.

[....]

Oh ladies I am just not a good example for anyone! I would have dropped the F bomb without hesitating. You can't catch me off guard with that kind of crap and not expect a totally immature response. I'm working on it...really I am.

 

 

:iagree: Me too. After 7 years in the military, I could verbally scare the *&^* out of someone like that. It is sooooo hard to maintain self-control.

 

The OP is a better person than I am.

[MamaT]

I just read through this thread and I have tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Daisy, you are a much better woman that I. I think I would have dropped her like a rock. Okay, maybe not, but I would not have held it together as well as you managed to do.

 

I like this saying, "Don't argue with a fool. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." I try to remember that, but sometimes I remember too late.

 

Mrs. Mungo, I will join your gang of thugs. I'm little, but I'm mean.

[AngelBee]

:grouphug: That is horrible :(

[Tree House Academy]

You are evil :D I just went to you tube to watch Achmed the dead terrorist, and now my house work will never get done because I pulled a muscle laughing so hard.

 

Hehe! I love Achmed. Him, Walter (the grumpy old guy) and the Jalapeno on a Stick are absolutely hilarious. If you have never watched Jeff Dunham, you gotta watch at least one of his shows. My mom saw him live. I was so jealous!

[Impish]

I am not noble, nor restrained. I also have enough experience with older people to know that its not often dementia that has them wandering about the public, saying vicious things. Its that they've always been nasty. People don't become kind simply because they're older. If they were a b*tch at 30, they're more so at 90, not less.

 

Her kids are likely asking, "You want fries with that?" rather than being Drs and lawyers, and she's angry.

 

Or, they ARE Drs and lawyers...and avoid Mommy Dearest at all costs, and she's jealous of anyone that has a loving relationship with their kids.

 

Or...she's just a nasty piece of work.

 

I'm not refined enough. I would have ripped her apart verbally, AFTER instructing the kids to go wait for Mommy 'over there'. When I'm seriously, seriously angry, I get quiet, not loud. Then, having preserved my children's innocence, I would have flayed her alive.

 

Sure, I would have regretted not being a better example of a homeschooler later, having allowed myself to sink to her level, and not been an example of dignity under fire...all while picking her bones out of my teeth. :D

[NorthwestMom]

I've encountered this type of rudeness very rarely, but when I do, I politely and abruptly end the conversation, then think to myself, "What-the-f***-ever, whackjob"..... and then I feel a lot better about myself.

 

You can't control what crazy people say. Don't own what isn't yours.

[Tree House Academy]

Its that they've always been nasty. People don't become kind simply because they're older. If they were a b*tch at 30, they're more so at 90, not less.

 

Often, when they do have dementia, this is not the case. Even someone who is starting into dementia can make a drastic change in personality. My mother in law is my reference here, sadly. So is the information I hear from my mom who works in a nursing home.

 

That said, I highly doubt the woman at Costco had dementia! She was probably DEMENTED, but dementia is unlikely. LOL

[Impish]

Often, when they do have dementia, this is not the case. Even someone who is starting into dementia can make a drastic change in personality. My mother in law is my reference here, sadly. So is the information I hear from my mom who works in a nursing home.

 

That said, I highly doubt the woman at Costco had dementia! She was probably DEMENTED, but dementia is unlikely. LOL

Yes, I do understand that. I'm talking the typical healthy individual. There seems to be this myth that older women are all 'sweet', 'bake cookies' etc.

[LibraryLover]

Holy Vitriolic thread, Batman!

[Susan in TN]

I am not noble, nor restrained. I also have enough experience with older people to know that its not often dementia that has them wandering about the public, saying vicious things. Its that they've always been nasty. People don't become kind simply because they're older. If they were a b*tch at 30, they're more so at 90, not less.

 

Her kids are likely asking, "You want fries with that?" rather than being Drs and lawyers, and she's angry.

 

Or, they ARE Drs and lawyers...and avoid Mommy Dearest at all costs, and she's jealous of anyone that has a loving relationship with their kids.

 

Or...she's just a nasty piece of work.

 

I'm not refined enough. I would have ripped her apart verbally, AFTER instructing the kids to go wait for Mommy 'over there'. When I'm seriously, seriously angry, I get quiet, not loud. Then, having preserved my children's innocence, I would have flayed her alive.

 

Sure, I would have regretted not being a better example of a homeschooler later, having allowed myself to sink to her level, and not been an example of dignity under fire...all while picking her bones out of my teeth. :D

 

 

You are my hero.

[Daisy]

I'm over it. Glad to know I have so many ladies who are willing to cover my back with weapons of mass instruction.

 

Thanks. You all made me feel better.

 

Whatever may be this particular lady's problem she obviously doesn't know me or my children.

[keptwoman]

I'm over it. Glad to know I have so many ladies who are willing to cover my back with weapons of mass instruction.

But you can't be over it!! We haven't finished thinking up witty answers yet. :lol:

 

Well done for staying calm under fire :thumbup1:

[mamato4girls]

Oh my goodness!!!! My stomach just got all tied up in knots just reading that! You handled it so well. I would never have been able to get out of there without being extremely ugly to that woman. Good for you for holding it together for your kids!

:iagree: I would NOT have been able to handle it that well, I would hope I could, but I don't think so.

[Ibbygirl]

But you can't be over it!! We haven't finished thinking up witty answers yet. :lol:

 

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Edited February 16, 2010 by Ibbygirl

[Wildiris]

Oh, Daisy what a hurtful thing for a person to say. :grouphug:

[GraceinMD]

"I don't believe in THAT [home school]! My children grew up to be lawyers and doctors. Yours won't amount to anything!"

 

Hilarious responses.

 

I would have THOUGHT lots of snarky things, but I have absolutely no doubt that what I actually would would have done was looked very matter-of-fact and said, "Lawyers and doctors, eh? That's nice, but just think how much better they would have done if they'd been fortunate enough to be homeschooled. Well, de gustibus non disputandum est," and THEN turned my back.

 

(I admit the quote doesn't exactly fit, but *she* probably wouldn't know that!)

 

(And why does the whole hs/public school/private school issue have to be a competition? Sigh.)

Edited February 16, 2010 by GraceinMD

[Daisy]

But you can't be over it!! We haven't finished thinking up witty answers yet. :lol:

 

Well done for staying calm under fire :thumbup1:

 

LOL. That was funny.

[MBM]

Vent Start.

 

I was standing in line at Costco this morning with my two children who were being very well-behaved. We needed to pick up treats for the Valentine party. Behind me was a little old lady who asked why my children were not in school. With a smile on my face, I explained we home school. It went downhill from there. She started grilling me as to my reasons. I just attempted to stay upbeat and keep the conversation light.

 

Then in front of the cashier and everyone else in a very long line she cuts me off and says, "I don't believe in THAT [home school]! My children grew up to be lawyers and doctors. Yours won't amount to anything!"

 

GASP! She said that right in front of my children.

 

I have never been so mad in all my life. I was shaking. I turned my back to her and didn't say another word. I was afraid if I said anything I would just go OFF!

 

When we got to the car, I explained to the children that the lady was very ignorant. I made sure to tell them that they are very bright and can be anything they want to be when they grow up.

 

I'm still UPSET about it. Just unbelievable to me. And I'm upset that I'm letting her get to me. I should just blow it off but it was just really rude.

 

I've had people question our choice to home school. I've gotten the "oh" look but never in all my five years of homeschooling have I ever had a person be that rude in public and in front of my children!

 

Vent over.

 

I applaud you. IMO, you handled this with grace and taught your children that they don't have to engage with rude, hostile people.

 

It's unfortunate she feels that way about homeschooling. My guess is she feels threatened (retired teacher maybe?) and/or is uninformed.

 

FWIW, neither of my two adult, schooled children is a lawyer or doctor. I must have failed them miserably. LOL.

[PineFarmMom]

I am not noble, nor restrained. I also have enough experience with older people to know that its not often dementia that has them wandering about the public, saying vicious things. Its that they've always been nasty. People don't become kind simply because they're older. If they were a b*tch at 30, they're more so at 90, not less.

 

 

 

That is SO true!!! :lol: I had a discussion about that with a df. She was telling me about this precious, kind, Christian woman she knew in her 80s that was suffering from dementia of some sort. She said she was peaceful and kind even in that state. We both agreed that it probably had to do with her good attitude all throughout life (fruits of righteousness). I've known a few people who were bitter and mean when they are young and are absolutely intolerable in their elderly years.

Edited February 16, 2010 by Texas T
spelling

[PiCO]

Then in front of the cashier and everyone else in a very long line she cuts me off and says, "I don't believe in THAT [home school]! My children grew up to be lawyers and doctors. Yours won't amount to anything!"

 

GASP! She said that right in front of my children.

 

Honestly, I think I would have laughed out loud. What a jerk.

[FlockOfSillies]

If that ever happens to me, I think I'll start humming, "Keep your tongue from evil, keep your tongue..." Maybe the kids would join in singing it out loud and scare the old crone away.

[OHGrandma]

...

 

Then in front of the cashier and everyone else in a very long line she cuts me off and says, "I don't believe in THAT [home school]! My children grew up to be lawyers and doctors. Yours won't amount to anything!"

 

GASP! She said that right in front of my children.

 

I have never been so mad in all my life. I was shaking. I turned my back to her and didn't say another word. I was afraid if I said anything I would just go OFF!

...

 

She is obviously ill-informed and what she said could even be considered malicious. To have responded to her likely would have given her some satisfaction. Turning your back to her was probably the strongest statement you could have made to show how little you think of her opinion.

[Ibbygirl]

Turning your back to her was probably the strongest statement you could have made to show how little you think of her opinion.

 

I LOVE this. Thank you so much for writing it. I need to memorize this one. :) I tend to try to engage people and defend my position when I've been wrongly accused or someone is obviously operating on gross misinformation and I often forget that I can just walk away. :)

[scrapbookbuzz]

This reminds me of a friend who had a similar situation when out running errands with her kids. A 'little old lady' wanted to know why they weren't in school and my friend told her that they were homeschooled. The 'little old lady' then went on to ask all kinds of questions. My friend found herself losing patience with her questions/attitude and when the 'little old lady' asked her, "Well how do you know they are getting good grades?" She replied, "Well of course they are getting good grades!! I'm sleeping with the principal!!"

 

Conversation over :001_smile:

 

Yvonne in NE

 

Many of the posts had me smiling or chuckling but THIS ONE!:lol: I had to be careful not too laugh LOUDLY; it is almost 10:30pm, after all!

[Miss Sherry]

You know after wards I thought up all kinds of great retorts. :D

 

But really I was busy trying to keep my anger under control. I felt myself physically shaking. I was spending all my time reminding myself that she was just ignorant, she's an old lady, she's had a bad day, whatever.

 

If I had said something back, I think she was the type to just have felt justified in her condemnation.

 

But it helps later to think of all the things I would have liked to have said. LOL. :lol:

Oh boy, this whole thing was so rude. If someone had said something so rude that it made me shake, I think I would have said to the clerk nearest me, please get someone over here to pack up my things ( if I had already unloaded my cart ) and move them, because this rude women is verbally attacking me in the presence of my children and I need to take my things to a different checkout. I also would have asked if they had a security person to come and talk to HER because I did not intend to continue to be verbally attacked while I was there. Turn your back on her ? I would remove myself so far from her presence that I could not even hear another word she had to say.

Edited February 18, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[Miss Sherry]

Einstein's 2nd grade teacher said the same thing.

"Nothing good will ever come of him."

Hmmmmm.....wonder what she thinks now?

Now that would have been a good comeback, while walking away and not listening to another word from her . You could have said "Nothing good will ever come of him" was what Einsteins 2nd grade teacher said of him right before his Mom took him out of school to homeschool him, and we all know what a nothing he became, right. :lol:

 

I have a story about being rudely yelled at once in public, but it wasn't about homeschooling.

I was pulling into a parking spot that was right in front of me and a woman started honking at me as I pulled into the spot. But had I decided to let her into the spot I would have needed to back up, causing traffic behind me to need to back up, while she would have needed to cut across traffic and in front of me. It was really strange. Also, she was so fixated on that one spot that she failed to see a few other spots opening up at the very moment I was parking, that were even closer to the entrance of the store. When I walked into the store she yelled at me about taking "her" spot. I said "Didn't you see the other spots that are even closer to the door and besides I couldn't back up against traffic ?" She looked like she was planning on continuing to harass me so without saying another word to her I walked straight to the customer service desk and said I needed a manager or security person to talk to this woman that was yelling at me about a parking spot. A manager went over and spoke to her and she left me alone after that.

 

So now I think it's a good idea to get security guards or store managers to deal with any bullies you may run into in stores and let them deal with them. They will.

Edited February 18, 2010 by Miss Sherry