RoughCollie Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 You are barking up the wrong tree. I'm as busy as a one-armed paperhanger. He's been hit with the ugly stick. He is dumber than a stump. Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Fish or cut bait You got the short end of the stick. You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. You are a sight for sore eyes. Don't just sit (stand) there like a bump on a log. You're getting too big for your britches. I'll be ready in two shakes (of a lamb's tail). These are scarce as hen's teeth. Gimme some sugar. I'll be back directly. Lord willing and the creek don't rise. Can't dance, and it's too wet to plow. Don't go having a hissy fit. When your Daddy comes home, he's gonna have a conniption. I would give my eyeteeth for a ________. I don't trust him any further than I can throw him. She can't carry a tune in a bucket. Better to be pissed off than pissed on. Go piss up a rope. Take a long walk off a short pier. Two bricks shy of a full load. A few cards shy of a full deck. Tighter than a tick (miserly) Running around like a chicken with your head cut off You don't have a snowball's chance in hell. That dog won't hunt. You don't have the sense God gave a goose. And DS's favorite "Gotta go drain my lizard." (I love that one.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 ... as the actress said to the Bishop (as an aside) Revenge is always on purpose. Billions of bilious blue barnacles Narf! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin in Tx Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I may be some dumb, but I'm not plumb dumb :) Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AprilTN Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 RoughCollie, are you originally from New England? Because with all those sayings you might be from my neck of the woods! Grinnin' like a possum eatin' sawbriers! (that's a really big smile) This is a goat ropin' (when things are just out of control) Quit strawbossin' (when someone is bossing you around but not helping) Cain't never could do nothin' (when someone says they "can't") She's got one foot in the grave (someone really old) I didn't take you to raise! (I'm not your mother) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlockOfSillies Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Oh, for cryin' out loud. Bother that! I'm not used to being this close to where I'm at. (actual quote of a dear, but ditzy, friend many years ago) That's a nice sweater; what are you going to do, wear it? (dh's grandma said this once at Christmas) Buckle up, Buttercup/Buddy Boy. Your shirt is not a napkin! I'm shocked! And saddened! Ayup. (got that here) That's my pair o' pennies. (I use that a lot here, not IRL.) Not happening! You're scaring me. (I sing this one.) Fabulous. From "Finding Nemo"... Swim away! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... Nee! And out came... a lizard! (Bill Cosby on the arrival of his firstborn) Annnnd... I've forgotten the rest. But I'll remember them just as soon as I hit "Submit Reply." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Nope, I'm from the South, but live in Mass. I grew up with a Mom who was very well read and used all those sayings regularly. I figure she got them all from her books because she lived in only 2 places: Germany and the South. A lot of those are Southern, too. We say, "She's got one foot in a grave and the other on a banana peel". RoughCollie, are you originally from New England? Because with all those sayings you might be from my neck of the woods! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlockOfSillies Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 First day with the new feet? Love this one! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.griff Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Mine: when dd or dh say "God!" in reply to something I've done or said. "Nope, it's just me, mom/honey, but you can call me CAPtain if you must use a title." When I'm confuzzled by something or just REALLY ticked off at something, "I've got 3 letters for you!" When children are whining at me, "I don't feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for ME!" (with a laugh) "Woof." "Don't TELL me!" (as in,don't tell me what to do) "Severiously!" (means I'm severely serious) DH: "Some people's kids!" (said while shaking his head at some idiot driver) "Did you see that frog? I just stepped on it." (if you don't understand that one, too bad cause I ain't explaining :D ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Ye gods and little fishes....... (as well as lots of Monty Python and Eddie Izzard :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I Forgot, Nutrish before delish (and I have no idea if that's how it's spelled) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 That was fun, and now you're done. (I want this on my tombstone, I say it so much.) Do what you have to, then you can do what you want to. Geezopete! Holy Cow! (I say this ALL the time. *sigh*) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I probably use more of these than anyone I know, but put to the test like this and my brain is freezing. Some I use are That's dumber than dirt Stupider than a fried fly (I'm not sure if I made that one up or heard it somewhere) It's had the biscuit (that means something is totally done in and needs to be tossed). I bet you a dollar to a doughnut. (when waiting for slow kids) Come on, I'm getting old! I also habitually mix a few up, like Fifty cents of one and half a dozen of the other (it's supposed to be 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.) And many others, old and new. Sometimes I come up with ones I haven't used in decades, or ones I've picked up in different places. But this is like when family asks for hints for gifts for me--my mind freezes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 "You are not the center of the universe." said to the child who needs to hear it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 She's uglier than a homemade fence. She's stuck on him like a duck on a June bug. Good night nurse. She's so vanilla (meaning, "Plain Jane"/boring) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Hen Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Here are a couple I didn't see posted. My Dad's favorite was: "I've had an elegant sufficiency any more would be an overabundancy" He always said this at the end of a meal. My MIL always said: "Oh, if I had known you were coming I would have thrown your name in the dinner pot." Yea, we never told her we were coming for dinner cause we didn't want to eat her cooking. It was soooo bad. My mom always said: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter. :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: I can't wait to see the expression on DHs face when I use that one.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdeno Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Me: I need to get off the computer DS7: Not the Well Trained Mind Board :-) :lol::tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I have a bad mouth, as you will soon see :D Most of these have never been said in front of the children. They usually just hear things such as NOW! WHAT did you say to me? And I'm sorry; I can only do 25 things at a time. My personal favorites are: Tighter than a frog's a$$ Get in, shut up and hang on :auto: Oh $hit we're all going to die. (this is from a Harrison Ford movie, the title escapes me) Dumber than a rock Sure, Fine, No Problem (Murphy Brown...one of her many secretaries). And 2 classics... Bull*hit, and Whatever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyR Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate. It's great to have a friend to grow old with. You go first. Some days are a total waste of makeup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nrg Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Make like a baby and head out Have fun, get smart What Ho! and lots of other things posted here earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 A dog that will bring a bone will carry one away. All the world's queer my dear, except me and thee. And sometimes even thee. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? A fair is a place where you buy cotton candy. This is not a diner! Dh, while waiting for kids: "While we're young!" Dh, if anyone says "I'm coming": "So's Christmas!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 My favorite Southern one: (when speaking of something that makes no sense) Now that dog won't hunt! My favorite kid one: I can't carry it! I'm full of hands! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Now that dog won't hunt! Aww, now, this one totally makes sense. I have never said it myself, but down in South Alabama I hear it often. Laurel T. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Instead of "oh my" or "my goodness" we say "Gee Minnelli" or "Liza Minnellli." I have no idea why. This one is attributed to my 86 yo grandmother. I would never say it, but I laugh when she does "opinions are like {umm lets just say bottoms} everybody has one and they all stink." Laurel T. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 From my Grandmother, "So what if you don't have shoes - at least you have feet." From old southern ladies when things are good - We're walking in high cotton. And jokingly with dogs, kids, and others - I'm gonna beat you like a red headed step child. That must have cost a pretty penny. If you wanna dance, ya gotta pay the fiddler. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Quote: Originally Posted by JudoMom That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter. ----------- I can't wait to see the expression on DHs face when I use that one.... I am literally LOL at this one, and for the same reason!!! i think he'll also like "Hotter than a popcorn fart." :) I'm looking forward to trying out "Oh MyLanta" lol. Get In Shut Up and hang on will absolutely be a favorite!! The only one dh uses that i haven't seen yet is "You can't sling a dead cat w/o hitting a [liquor store, tree, whatever there's a LOT of in an area]" and our school motto that is posted on the wall: Life is Tough --it's Tougher if you're stupid. "No matter where you go, there you are" Better to be pissed off than pissed on. -that gets used a lot too. -------- we do a LOT --a TON!-- of movie quotes; entire discussions are usually phrases adapted from movies and melded together. "Tis just a Flesh Wound!" You're killing me Smalls. --yup. got that one, lol. want some chaw? Princess Bride [iNCONCEIVABLE! you miserable vomitous mass!] YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Careful! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crQ7Y2alDxI] any John Wayne one, Wah-hah! Tim the Toolman grunt --even the 2yo and my 4yodd can do this. if we break something "Things in this room don't react well to hitting the floor/ slamming against the wall" [said in a thick Sean Connery accent] "You are now entering...... the _____ ________" and kinda like 'What a mell of a hess!', dh has taken to cussing in pig latin, lol. "ammit-day, im-Jay!" [in his best Bones voice] anything from Star Trek or Star Wars is fair game. I never knew why he called the kids "plabneesters" till we watched the old Star Trek episode w/ the Yangs and the Coms --they pull out the flag, and the pledge is garbled. The beginning sounds like "EEE Plabneesters..." lately the kids have been breaking out into the Potter Puppet Pals when we're just waiting or doing something routine... they're getting scary good at it too....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4 Holy Blank, Blank Man!! [sky High] ---------------- step on a duck --pull my finger :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 [) You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. From the Princess Bride? I keep hearing the Spainard's voice. Another from that movie - same guy - "My name is Anigo Montoya, you killed my fater, prepare to die." And of course....."As you wish" as he's falling down the hill (Wesley) after she pushed him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 and our school motto that is posted on the wall: Life is Tough --it's Tougher if you're stupid. That's great. We have one like it: "Looks like you'd better start practicing six little words: 'Do you want fries with that?'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 {They} don't have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.... (for those who like to put on airs, but really have nothing) Regena I say this about my own pathetic finances....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Just remembered one I use... "That's Coolidge, Rita!" ( Does this date me?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Dumb as a box of hair. Which is particularly funny because my dw's grandmother actually owns a box of hair - all the "first curls" from the family babies. May God bless and keep [him]...far away from us! Sometimes we will just shorten this to "a blessing for the czar" with the appropriate eye roll or raised eyebrow. (It's from Fiddler on the Roof.) My mom was a font of these kinds of sayings, which she got from her dad. It's better than a kick in the teeth. More [whatever] than you can shake a stick at. Better a louse in the sauerkraut than no meat at all. My other favorite is the way my sil refers to the rural county beyond their suburban subdivision: Out where Jesus lost his sandals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 May God bless and keep [him]...far away from us! Sometimes we will just shorten this to "a blessing for the czar" with the appropriate eye roll or raised eyebrow. (It's from Fiddler on the Roof. LOL! we have a similar tradition-- if we encounter someone particularly witchy while we're out and about, we just look at each other and hum/sing the theme from Wizard of Oz --the one they play everytime teh wicked witch appears on scene, hee hee. and your post reminded me of another: "out in BFE" -- or Bum F*** Egypt. never quite figgered out where that came from, but i remember hearing it A LOT when we supposedly lived out in BFE :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
percytruffle Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Better a louse in the sauerkraut than no meat at all. And all this time I just thought they were caraway seeds....;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I'm glad I don't have your nerve in my tooth (Are you Being Served) Its enough to curl your hair (my mother) Et up with dumbass (Texas slang) Couldn't pour (liquid of your choice) from a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom. (common in Kansas) Methinks the lady doth protestest too much (William S) Home is where when you have to go there, they have to take you (Frost) Fools names and fools faces often seen in public places. Shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations (aka, Gold mine, gold spoon, gold cure.....an old treatment for rich alcoholics). From the French: in the fall of birds, the evil lies in the ground. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom42terrificgirls Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Right now it's "Mother Bear!" And then my kids reply, "Had a duck!" I also have a favorite (I think it's Turkish) saying that my friend says, but I don't know what it means, so I won't post it here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Rather gruesome but descriptive phrase from a friend who was raised in the boonies of Texas. I love using it on my kids when they are insisting that I do something now. Linders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
partyof5 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 All from my dad, the Mainer: Ay-uh. Can't get thay-uh from hee-uh. He who smelt it, dealt it! (imagine a long and eventually smelly car ride, complete with protesting kids, all in denial that the smell is theirs. Aaah, childhood... :001_huh:) Dumb as a post. Knock the bejeezus out of him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Oh, for the love of cake! There's more than one way to skin a cat. Cuter than a bug's ear. Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. Drove all over h*ll and half of Georgia. Dumber than a box of rocks. I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. All over it like white on rice. I just went through 7 circles of h*ll to ....(whatever it was that was difficult). Lead, follow, or get out of my way! Lord willing and the creek don't rise. Well, isn't this a fine kettle of fish! I'll often use these words, as well: hootenanny soiree bolixed up twitterpated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Where there's a will, there's a way For Petey's sake! We're gonna freeze our Rastafarian nay nay's! (for freezing weather) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Did you know my dad? I think you stole a few of his "vogl-isms"! You are barking up the wrong tree.Fish or cut bait <snip> Don't just sit (stand) there like a bump on a log. (My 5th grade teacher, Sr. Anne, used to say this every day.) You're getting too big for your britches. <snip> Don't go having a hissy fit. I would give my eyeteeth for a ________. I don't trust him any further than I can throw him. She can't carry a tune in a bucket. <snip> Take a long walk off a short pier. Two bricks shy of a full load. A few cards shy of a full deck. <snip> Running around like a chicken with your head cut off You don't have a snowball's chance in hell. That dog won't hunt. (I love that one.) Some other more colorful Vogl-isms from dear old dad ... If I had a dog as ugly as you, I'd shave his a$$ and make him walk backwards. A pat on the back is only inches from a kick in the behind. Sh!t or get off the pot. Holy Pickles. (My dad used to say "B&llsh!t", until my then 3yo nephew told every adult he met "Grampa says 'B&llsh!t'". Dad switched to this. Years later, my brother ended up naming his dog "Pickles" after my dad, LOL!) He put his shoes on backwards and walked forward into the past (said about people who won't change their ways.) My sayings:' Oh, crummybuttons (from the old Dick Van Dyke show) Calgon, take me away! I'm so tired (said like Madelein Kahn in Blazing Saddles) What part of ________ don't you understand? Well, duh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 My other favorite is the way my sil refers to the rural county beyond their suburban subdivision: Out where Jesus lost his sandals. Reminds me of "my mouth's drier than Gandi's flipflop" (from Keeping Up Appearances) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BizyPenguin Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but... She (or he or you) must be a half wit Oh, for crying out loud She (or he) is few fries short of a Happy Meal She (or he) is not the sharpest knife in the drawer Fiddle-lee-dee (as in "Whatever!") Whoopty-doo (as in "Whatever!") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 From one of the kids that hangs around my house - "Wake-y Wake-y eggs and Bac-ey" From everybody in my family - "You ain't smart enough to come in out of the rain." In response to the phrase - "That's not fair." "Life is a carnival not a fair" Kind of like the phrase "Tickle me pink" "Well, butter my biscuits!" From my little church-lady of a Grandmother who ran moonshine during prohibition: "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but who the h*ll wants flies." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Just today we had some friends here and I found myself saying the following: "Six of one, half dozen of the other." "You're a prince among men." Oh, and I inherited this one from my dad: "I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceanBreeze Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Life's tough...and then you die. Slower than molasses in winter. Get a grip! Who died and made you queen? And while this isn't a "saying", I do find myself saying "Hurry up, we're/you're gonna be late!" almost every day.:001_huh: Jenelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 "Good thinkin', Lincoln" (of course it sounds like "linkin'") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifera Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 dh: He couldn't find his a$$ with both hands. (When someone has been particularly stupid) Me at night putting dc to bed: Go to sleep, Zoodles. (from Philadelphia Chickens) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 It was his version of Jesus Christ. I frequently ask if I am speaking English because no one seems to hear what I say around here. And of course, the mother's favorite, "Who ever said life was fair?" I had to keep repeating this one to myself when I was in the emergency room in extreme pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 My other favorite is the way my sil refers to the rural county beyond their suburban subdivision: Out where Jesus lost his sandals. :smilielol5: I can't wait to use this one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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