Do you think adoptions out of Haiti will be

[rookie]

expedited to help place all of the children who have lost families? I just wonder if there is an organization that will help meet this new need (new in the sudden scale of the problem) and how we could offer to be a family to provide a home for a child/children.

Edited January 15, 2010 by rookie
spelling

[Cathy in IL]

I think it is a great idea, but unlikely to happen. Nothing with adoption seems to ever be expedited. I think there would be too much concern about possible corruption in adoption to expedite anything in a situation like this.

[Carmen_and_Company]

I don't know, but my sister emailed me the same question this morning, as she wants to adopt, and it looks like the Haiti disaster situation may expedite enlarging her family. She's quite involved with humanitarian programs that service Haiti.

 

From what I understand, Red Cross & UNICEF are working to gather all the children without families to care for them, and to also create a master biographical list for possible unification purposes. I suppose the list also could work for placing children in adoptive homes, too.

[newlifemom]

I heard a news report about a family who is already in the process of adopting in Haiti. They were not sure if the children were still living. According to the report, the adoption process which was well underway is now going to be postponed for some time as the agency was destroyed in the quake. They may have to begin from scratch.

[Parrothead]

Do you really want the adoption process to be expedited? Wouldn't you want the children to find some relation, even a distant one, in their native country with a culture they know and understand before shipping the children to a foreign country with no hope of living with family again?

[christine in al]

Funds to a reputable organization will help many children eat and be clothed and have shelter.

 

For adoptions to be safe, there needs to be a great deal of infrastucture. Records, and files and paper trails. and oversight and transparency. Officials can be corrupt, but if there aren't even any officials to watch out for evil, then the lure of money to the deperately poor, or the greedy, is just too strong and it's a huge risk that the children who really NEED the help don't get it, while some people are victimized.

 

meanwhile. those poor children could be helped with donations to Medicins Sans Frontiers, and other organizations who might already be on the ground and set up to save lives.

From a strickly logical perspecitive. the money that an international adoption costs can feed and clothe and house several children. It's not the same thing, but if you are feeling moved to help, that's a way to , right now.

 

If you are inspired to adopt internationally, that's wonderful. good luck. There are children in countries who need homes right now, who's paper work is all clear.

 

Check out International Assistance and Adoption Program, for special needs kids from China. Just take a look, maybe your child is actually ,,,, there. Dick and Cheryl Graham are truly good people and you can trust them.

 

Blessings,

Chrsitine in al

[Impish]

Do you really want the adoption process to be expedited? Wouldn't you want the children to find some relation, even a distant one, in their native country with a culture they know and understand before shipping the children to a foreign country with no hope of living with family again?

:iagree:

Also, if you're moved to adopt, don't forget the children in your area currently in foster care, needing a forever family. I don't know about your area, but here, adopting via social services is free.

[rookie]

Do you really want the adoption process to be expedited? Wouldn't you want the children to find some relation, even a distant one, in their native country with a culture they know and understand before shipping the children to a foreign country with no hope of living with family again?

 

 

Please do not take my post the wrong way. OF COURSE if there is family/relations available who can/want to take care of the children then the children should go with them.

 

But, it looks as if there may be a lot of children without family after this. I am wondering if FOR THOSE CHILDREN WITH NO LIVING FAMILY LEFT WHO CAN TAKE THEM the process will be expedited instead of letting them linger in orphanages (which will likely be inundated and w/out needed resources).

[Carrie12345]

This may help to explain emergencies like this.

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2005_Brief_ICA_In_Emergencies_April.pdf

[tdeveson]

Do you really want the adoption process to be expedited? Wouldn't you want the children to find some relation, even a distant one, in their native country with a culture they know and understand before shipping the children to a foreign country with no hope of living with family again?

 

:iagree:

 

The last thing these children need is to be torn away from the one thing left to them: familiar surroundings. We'll do far more good by funding reputable orphanages and child care organizations locally, than by uprooting them "for their own good."

 

Those who have no family left will still be far better off being adopted by local families. Helping these local families pick up the slack is a better option in my opinion.

Edited January 15, 2010 by tdeveson

[michelle l]

Do you think adoptions out of Haiti will be

expedited to help place all of the children who have lost families? I just wonder if there is an organization that will help meet this new need (new in the sudden scale of the problem) and how we could offer to be a family to provide a home for a child/children

.

 

No, although I do wonder if they will make an effort to get the paperwork for children already matched with families processed more quickly. I have to wonder though if that would even be possible considering the amount of devistation.

 

For adoptions to be safe, there needs to be a great deal of infrastucture. Records, and files and paper trails. and oversight and transparency. Officials can be corrupt, but if there aren't even any officials to watch out for evil, then the lure of money to the deperately poor, or the greedy, is just too strong and it's a huge risk that the children who really NEED the help don't get it, while some people are victimized.

 

 

This is just so true. The WORST thing that could happen right now would be a surge in adoptions. It's vital that every effort be taken to locate living family members who may want care for a child before adoption is allowed. Furthermore, adopting out of a desire to "save" a child may not facilitate healthy family relationships. I do understand the feeling though. Definitely something to keep chewing on!:)

 

 

[johnandtinagilbert]

I've also heard that they'll be extra cautious so people can't use these children for child trafficking

 

ps (added back the old fashioned ck so the spelling works...cc just doesn't look okay enough ;) )

[indigomama]

I belong to several adoption groups online and most of them have sent out special emails explaining that adoptions from Haiti are almost impossible right now.

To avoid any suspicions of corruption, adoptions after major catastrophes do not usually happen. In order to get the proper documentation from Immigration a child has to be proven to be a legal orphan. That can be a very lengthy process, especially after disasters as the infrastructure in the government is usually overwhelmed with survival needs. And like others have mentioned to remove a child from familiar settings after a major event would be very stressful on the child.

 

I totally understand your concern for the orphans to have permanent homes. Your heart is absolutely in the right place. I think the best we can do right now is give through legitimate organizations to help the children.

 

This might explain more as well http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=687.

Edited January 15, 2010 by indigomama

[BakersDozen]

I wondered about expedited adoption for my friend who began the process 6 years ago and has yet to get her dd. She began with 18K and has now paid over 50K because as each time comes that she is "assured" the girl, more papers mysteriously become necessary along with more money. I never thought she would get this child and wonder now if that will change, or this crooked agency will ask for yet more funds due to the catastrophe. Makes me sick.

[MaMa2005]

I belong to several adoption groups online and most of them have sent out special emails explaining that adoptions from Haiti are almost impossible right now.

To avoid any suspicions of corruption adoptions after major catastrophes do not usually happen. In order to get the proper documentation from Immigration a child has to be proven to be a legal orphan. That can be a very lengthy process, especially after disasters as the infrastructure in the government is usually overwhelmed with survival needs. And like others have mentioned to remove a child from familiar settings after a major event would be very stressful on the child.

 

I totally understand your concern for the orphans to have permanent homes. Your heart is absolutely in the right place. I think the best we can do right now is give through legitimate organizations to help the children.

 

This might explain more as well http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=687.

 

Being an adoptive parent, :iagree:.

[LibrarianMom]

:iagree:

 

The last thing these children need is to be torn away from the one thing left to them: familiar surroundings. We'll do far more good by funding reputable orphanages and child care organizations locally, than by uprooting them "for their own good."

 

Those who have no family left will still be far better off being adopted by local families. Helping these local families pick up the slack is a better option in my opinion.

 

Several months ago I inquired with a friend of mind, who is the former director of a mission based in Haiti, concerning whether it would be better for my husband and I to consider adopting internationally from Haiti or another country or giving the equivalent money to care for children in their context. He said without a doubt that the $50 thousand it would take to adopt a child from Haiti that his organization could easily provide care for 200 children. I also recently read a statistic that indicated most of the world's orphans have at least one parent living. I am becoming more and more convinced that in many instances (china withstanding due to the one child policy) we need to help facilitate economic and community development in other countries so families can afford to keep their own children and take in others. Unfortunately, this view is in the minority and it is difficult to get an opportunity to share such an opposing viewpoint.

[Audrey]

... the $50 thousand it would take to adopt a child from Haiti that his organization could easily provide care for 200 children. I also recently read a statistic that indicated most of the world's orphans have at least one parent living. I am becoming more and more convinced that in many instances (china withstanding due to the one child policy) we need to help facilitate economic and community development in other countries so families can afford to keep their own children and take in others. Unfortunately, this view is in the minority and it is difficult to get an opportunity to share such an opposing viewpoint.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: You are not alone in your viewpoint. Thanks for sharing it!

[HSMom2One]

I'd say it will take longer. Before this horrible disaster, most adoptions were already very complicated and took a very, very long time to process. It took close to three years for our friends to get their three Haitian boys. There are many starts and stops in a "normal" situation, ranging from frequent interviews going back and forth, massive paperwork, legal issues, and various other problems within bureaucracies, etc. One problem that occurred that caused everything to come to a complete halt was when the office that the boy's passports were being issued from literally ran out of the plastic covers that the document is inserted into. Due to this shortage, the adoption process was held up for an extra 2-3 weeks! And that was just one problem that had occurred that added to the string of other problems that added up to a period of years.

 

Our friends have another adoption from Haiti in the works, a teenage daughter this time. We are very curious to find the answer to the question that the op posed. The girl is fifteen and already knows her American family and is very close to them. My heart aches for her and for my friends today. They were expecting the adoption to take about one more year to complete until this latest disaster happened, and my friend (the American mom) was scheduled to go for another visit to the orphanage next month. Right now they are not sure if she will be able to go or not, but they are standing by to help in any way they can. We have learned that there was damage to the building and the children have been relocated to the corner of a church. It was such a sad situation already, and now it is even worse.

 

Our prayer is that the world will see and understand better the plight of the Haitian people. They need our help and prayers so much!

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

Edited January 16, 2010 by HSMom2One

[rookie]

I just want to say that this is one of those times where I really wish I had not posted. If this was a conversation IRL it would never have gotten derailed and then commented on in other threads the way that it has.

 

I asked the question totally innocently. I saw the news and imagined a lot of scared, parentless, hungry, thirsty, and hurt children (NOT PUPPIES) and thought our home is open to loving and caring for some of them. I imagined that some other families might feel that way too.

 

I obviously do not know anything about the adoption process and am naive enough to have not considered all of the angles that others are aware of. I am also not looking to collect children as souveniers! That is just outrageous.

 

Because I am ignorant and thought that it is best for children to be placed with families who want to love them and take care of them rather than being packed into orphanages with hundreds of other children and overworked caretakers on limited resources, I thought that in a time of great need organizations might work a little faster to get kids placed.

 

It was a TOTALLY innocent question based on a desire to help not a desire to add to my collection.

 

We DO give money all of the time - not only now. We have already donated money, time, food, clothing, towels, sheets, toys, medicine and are helping collect in our community. We will continue to help after it stops being the cause du jour. We have fostered children several times until they could be placed with their families.

 

I say all of this because rather than this being a pleasant exchange of concerned people trying to help, it has taken an ugly tone in both this thread and at least one other.

 

I now understand why adoptions are not expedited during times of crises - THANK YOU. BUT, let me say this, it is not because a home with parents is not a better alternative than the orphanages. It is only because people who do evil in the world and would not truly care for these children have ruined it for those of us who would.

 

It is a sad day when a mom who is willing to open her home to babies who have lost theirs is treated like she's nuts when in fact it makes a lot of sense if the world was not mad!

Edited January 16, 2010 by rookie
typo

[HSMom2One]

Well said, Rookie. My hat is off to you! I understood and appreciated your post, and tried to answer in a way that pointed back to your original thoughts.

 

It's always sad when the original intent in the thread is misunderstood. This has happened to me before too, so I know how it feels.

 

:grouphug:

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[nono]

You want to see ugly? Go post this on an adoptive parents forum. :001_huh: You'd have had your heart/hat/other body parts handed to you on a stick. On a friendly day.

 

The fact that you can't "hear" what the adult adoptee posted about is exactly why expedient adoptions in a crisis are a bad idea. Not only for the other reasons listed, but also because people suddenly decide they are able to adopt, without one whit of understanding of the issues, esp. for the adoptive child.

 

For some perspective, I suggest that you read some other adoption threads recently, and you'll realize your post wasn't the only one that made the "we are not puppies" post happen. Too many people approach adoption as a magical solution. The day-to-day facts do not show this to be so.

[Cricket]

My brother and his wife have been in the process of adopting two Haitian children for about two years now. It looks as though their children may come home sooner rather than later. The state department may issue humanitarian visas to children that have already been matched with parents here in the US. The hold up with many Haitian adoptions is on the US side rather than in Haiti. The children were in an orphanage in Port-au-Prince. The orphanage was damaged but all the children there are okay. The situation continues to get worse though. I keep thinking about the pictures I've seen of Haiti and then thinking about the beautiful bedrooms and loving family these kids have waiting for them here. Hopefully they will be home soon!

[rookie]

You want to see ugly? Go post this on an adoptive parents forum. :001_huh: You'd have had your heart/hat/other body parts handed to you on a stick. On a friendly day.

 

The fact that you can't "hear" what the adult adoptee posted about is exactly why expedient adoptions in a crisis are a bad idea. Not only for the other reasons listed, but also because people suddenly decide they are able to adopt, without one whit of understanding of the issues, esp. for the adoptive child.

 

For some perspective, I suggest that you read some other adoption threads recently, and you'll realize your post wasn't the only one that made the "we are not puppies" post happen. Too many people approach adoption as a magical solution. The day-to-day facts do not show this to be so.

 

 

My hearing is fine and I do not believe in magic.

I am a mom who is caring for her children and is willing to help other children in need. There is nothing wrong with that. I understand that adopted children would have issues. Bio-children come with issues too that parents must learn to deal with. I just do not buy that the alternative is superior - that orphanges are better than parents who are willing to learn how to deal with the issues their adopted children will face. And, no amount of ugly and angry postings from you or anyone else is going to change that. A loving adoptive parent trumps an institution. Have a nice night! :001_smile:

[OnTheBrink]

My hearing is fine and I do not believe in magic.

I am a mom who is caring for her children and is willing to help other children in need. There is nothing wrong with that. I understand that adopted children would have issues. Bio-children come with issues too that parents must learn to deal with. I just do not buy that the alternative is superior - that orphanges are better than parents who are willing to learn how to deal with the issues their adopted children will face. And, no amount of ugly and angry postings from you or anyone else is going to change that. A loving adoptive parent trumps an institution. Have a nice night! :001_smile:

 

I took your post as more of a "wondering out loud" than a "hey! I'm gonna run down to Haiti and 'dopt me some kids!" And, I wondered the same thing. I think most people realize that there are issues with adopting children; most may not know what the issues are, but I'm fairly confident most people realize the issues exist.

 

As far as "puppies" goes, take a gander at the Missouri Baptist Home's newsletter sometime. Pictures of children, and captions such as "Child is current on all vaccinations, likes to read and would thrive in a stable home!" That newsletter makes the MBH sound like a pound for children. Makes me ill, really. So, it's not people ignorant of how adoption works that present the appearance of adoptive children being puppies, it's an actual orphanage itself that's doing it.

 

I don't know why people have to get so up in arms over innocent questions. Why not just graciously inform and educate, instead of knee-jerk react?

[jujsky]

My brother and his wife have been in the process of adopting two Haitian children for about two years now. It looks as though their children may come home sooner rather than later. The state department may issue humanitarian visas to children that have already been matched with parents here in the US. The hold up with many Haitian adoptions is on the US side rather than in Haiti. The children were in an orphanage in Port-au-Prince. The orphanage was damaged but all the children there are okay. The situation continues to get worse though. I keep thinking about the pictures I've seen of Haiti and then thinking about the beautiful bedrooms and loving family these kids have waiting for them here. Hopefully they will be home soon!

 

I hope the state department can swing it. I do believe that the adoptions already in progress should be expedited in this case -- both for the sake of the children in the orphanage, and for the influx of children that will be entering the orphanage. I'm sure there are many who will be in the orphanage short-term until they can locate surviving family members, but the orphanages are already pretty stretched there; the addition of all of these extra children coming in is going to be very difficult. Getting the kids out who are already matched with families would be a great thing. I hope your brother is able to bring his children home quickly.

[EthiopianFood]

Several months ago I inquired with a friend of mind, who is the former director of a mission based in Haiti, concerning whether it would be better for my husband and I to consider adopting internationally from Haiti or another country or giving the equivalent money to care for children in their context. He said without a doubt that the $50 thousand it would take to adopt a child from Haiti that his organization could easily provide care for 200 children. I also recently read a statistic that indicated most of the world's orphans have at least one parent living. I am becoming more and more convinced that in many instances (china withstanding due to the one child policy) we need to help facilitate economic and community development in other countries so families can afford to keep their own children and take in others. Unfortunately, this view is in the minority and it is difficult to get an opportunity to share such an opposing viewpoint.

 

I absolutely agree with the last part of your statement, but I think that isn't really related to the first. Yes $50,000 will support far more children, but no child should be raised in an institution, you know? Emotionally, no, you don't help more children. Also, this will do absolutely nothing whatsoever for the child once they age out of the adoption system. Once they are too old for the orphanage, they are screwed, truly. I think there is no best answer, in a way, unless you have money to put toward both? But then there are cultural issues that prevent a child from being raised by their birth family, issues that money can't fix. It is obviously very complicated. To look at it from an emotional perspective, would you consider your children just as well off if they were being raised in a well-funded orphanage as they are being raised in your home? What if it was between a good adoptive placement and a well-funded orphanage. Which would you choose for your family? Also, while people work for change, so that birth families CAN raise their children, what of those children for whom change will come to late?

 

To the OP, if you are interested in adoption, you might want to look at www.rainbowkids.org They have so many interesting and informative articles, and also an easy way to contact agencies by country so they will send you information about their programs. I too hope to adopt some day. Good luck!

[Cricket]

My hearing is fine and I do not believe in magic.

I am a mom who is caring for her children and is willing to help other children in need. There is nothing wrong with that. I understand that adopted children would have issues. Bio-children come with issues too that parents must learn to deal with. I just do not buy that the alternative is superior - that orphanges are better than parents who are willing to learn how to deal with the issues their adopted children will face. And, no amount of ugly and angry postings from you or anyone else is going to change that. A loving adoptive parent trumps an institution. Have a nice night! :001_smile:

 

I see the problem with expedited adoptions in a chaotic situation. But I also know what it is to see the images coming out of Haiti and hearing how children are wandering the streets without any adult caring for them. How would that not make any mother's heart ache? :crying:

[happi duck]

...Yes $50,000 will support far more children, but no child should be raised in an institution, you know? Emotionally, no, you don't help more children. Also, this will do absolutely nothing whatsoever for the child once they age out of the adoption system. Once they are too old for the orphanage, they are screwed, truly....

 

Of course there are no perfect solutions but it really does depend on the "institution". In many places around the world there are "institutions" run by devoted house parents who raise large groups of kids to be one big, loving family. These kids become adults who take that love with them into their own communities/countries. They often keep the chain going by reaching out to other orphans. 50K could provide for many of these types of families.

[EthiopianFood]

Of course there are no perfect solutions but it really does depend on the "institution". In many places around the world there are "institutions" run by devoted house parents who raise large groups of kids to be one big, loving family. These kids become adults who take that love with them into their own communities/countries. They often keep the chain going by reaching out to other orphans. 50K could provide for many of these types of families.

 

Being loved and having a family are two different things. These children know they don't have parents. Often there are many staff that rotate shifts, not one or two people who function as mom and dad on a day to day basis. We have loving foster homes here in the U.S., and while they do so much better than those who do not, they still long for a FAMILY. If these children were really truly their's, wouldn't they would adopt them themselves? I'm sure it depends on the country/culture, but in some (many?) areas (such as India), not having a family makes one a social outcast, limited to only the lowest positions in society.

 

I'm in no way saying we shouldn't support these situations. I'm saying that they are not a replacement for a real, permanent family. Also, many adoption programs include several thousand dollars-worth of humanitarian aid for the orphanage. Even in adopting, you are supporting the children who are left behind. Most foreign adoption fees are about $20,000, not $50,000, with from $3,000-$7,000 in aid. That is an INSANE amount of money in a place like India (can't say for somewhere else, I've only been to India).

[blessed2fosteradopt]

Well said, Rookie. My hat is off to you! I understood and appreciated your post, and tried to answer in a way that pointed back to your original thoughts.

 

It's always sad when the original intent in the thread is misunderstood. This has happened to me before too, so I know how it feels.

 

:grouphug:

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

 

I agree. It seems to me that you only have the best intentions. My heart breaks when I see these sick, tired, hungry children amongst the dead. I am a licensed foster parent with a very reputable Christian agency and I would love to be able to provide a hot meal and a warm bed for as long as necessary to a precious Haitian child in need. For me, it is not about stealing someone else's child, it is providing love, food and shelter for a child in need.

[Haiku]

expedited to help place all of the children who have lost families?

 

No. Generally in times of natural disasters, things slow down in part because officials want to make sure that children aren't just assumed to have lost family. It can take a long time to sort out what has happened to everyone.

 

Tara

[MariannNOVA]

No. Generally in times of natural disasters, things slow down in part because officials want to make sure that children aren't just assumed to have lost family. It can take a long time to sort out what has happened to everyone.

 

Tara

 

Sad, but true -- about the slow down. I have heard it repeated many times now that because the individuals who worked in the adoption placement positions are (to put it simply) unaccounted for, the offices are destroyed, the paperwork gone, and matters of food, shelter, rescue, recovery and medical attention are the top priorities (understandably so as there must be triage), the administrative process of adoption will not be moving forward.

 

Mariann

[Crimson Wife]

I see the problem with expedited adoptions in a chaotic situation. But I also know what it is to see the images coming out of Haiti and hearing how children are wandering the streets without any adult caring for them. How would that not make any mother's heart ache? :crying:

 

I agree, but living in an earthquake-prone zone, I would want the authorities to do a full investigation before placing my kids up for adoption if God forbid something happened to us in a quake. My baby can't talk and I don't know how much useful information the 4 y.o. could provide on contacting our relatives.

[unsinkable]

I took your post as more of a "wondering out loud" than a "hey! I'm gonna run down to Haiti and 'dopt me some kids!" And, I wondered the same thing. I think most people realize that there are issues with adopting children; most may not know what the issues are, but I'm fairly confident most people realize the issues exist.

 

As far as "puppies" goes, take a gander at the Missouri Baptist Home's newsletter sometime. Pictures of children, and captions such as "Child is current on all vaccinations, likes to read and would thrive in a stable home!" That newsletter makes the MBH sound like a pound for children. Makes me ill, really. So, it's not people ignorant of how adoption works that present the appearance of adoptive children being puppies, it's an actual orphanage itself that's doing it.

 

I don't know why people have to get so up in arms over innocent questions. Why not just graciously inform and educate, instead of knee-jerk react?

 

This is a very good question.

[sparrow]

:grouphug: rookie.

 

I hold a place on 2 sides of the adoption triad. Neither side was offended or hurt by your post.

[HSMom2One]

My brother and his wife have been in the process of adopting two Haitian children for about two years now. It looks as though their children may come home sooner rather than later. The state department may issue humanitarian visas to children that have already been matched with parents here in the US. The hold up with many Haitian adoptions is on the US side rather than in Haiti. The children were in an orphanage in Port-au-Prince. The orphanage was damaged but all the children there are okay. The situation continues to get worse though. I keep thinking about the pictures I've seen of Haiti and then thinking about the beautiful bedrooms and loving family these kids have waiting for them here. Hopefully they will be home soon!

 

Oh, I DO hope this is the case for my friends. The orphanage they are connected to was also damaged badly and the children have been relocated temporarily to the corner of a church building. The husband of my friend is leaving on Saturday to go help with repairs/rebuilding. Oh, that he could bring their daughter home with him!

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[nono]

My hearing is fine and I do not believe in magic.

I am a mom who is caring for her children and is willing to help other children in need. There is nothing wrong with that. I understand that adopted children would have issues. Bio-children come with issues too that parents must learn to deal with. I just do not buy that the alternative is superior - that orphanges are better than parents who are willing to learn how to deal with the issues their adopted children will face. And, no amount of ugly and angry postings from you or anyone else is going to change that. A loving adoptive parent trumps an institution. Have a nice night! :001_smile:

 

I had no comment to your original post. I was replying to your follow-up post. I'm sorry that you took my post as "ugly and angry." It was not the manner in which it was written. I was simply trying to give some perspective to you that the other thread wasn't all about your post, and that the treatment in this post was rather moderate given other forums' tone.

 

And, I did give my 2 cents about why adoptions shouldn't ever be expedited. ;) I didn't say institutional living is better than a loving adoptive parent. BUT, an uninformed, loving adoptive parent is not the solution either. A well-informed, understanding and loving adoptive parent gives a child the best family platform from which to blossom.

 

So you understand a bit where I'm coming from, I chose to adopt as a first choice over biology. So I have a whole lot of heart and head in this choice. And my thinking has evolved a lot from the beginning. Discussions like this are good if we stay open to the possibility that we don't know everything. I imagine I'll be learning about this for the rest of my life.

[PineFarmMom]

My hearing is fine and I do not believe in magic.

I am a mom who is caring for her children and is willing to help other children in need. There is nothing wrong with that. I understand that adopted children would have issues. Bio-children come with issues too that parents must learn to deal with. I just do not buy that the alternative is superior - that orphanges are better than parents who are willing to learn how to deal with the issues their adopted children will face. And, no amount of ugly and angry postings from you or anyone else is going to change that. A loving adoptive parent trumps an institution. Have a nice night! :001_smile:

 

:iagree: I read your post and :grouphug: to you!! You did nothing wrong in posting what you did!!

[jazzyfizzle]

Well said, Rookie. My hat is off to you! I understood and appreciated your post, and tried to answer in a way that pointed back to your original thoughts.

 

It's always sad when the original intent in the thread is misunderstood. This has happened to me before too, so I know how it feels.

 

:grouphug:

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

 

 

Here here!! Absolutely.

Rookie, I was thinking many of the exact thoughts as you. I pictured hungry, frightened children being overcrowded in the limited areas and thought... maybe we could help, if even it is just one...

 

I am not really sure I will talk here anymore, about any future hope I have to adopt. I am feeling a nagging little pit in my stomach, where hope, excitement and love were only there before.

Another is seeing a positive statement (yours) then seeing it came at and spun negatively in any possible way.

:crying: :crying:

 

 

 

Just wanted to say that I understand exactly what you were saying. Major cyber hugs and friendship to you. :grouphug:

 

 

 

ETA{ I guess I should add that assuming someone is 'suddenly' thinking about doing anything.... eh hem...well they would call that one huge assumption. I would love to have had more kids, even in between the ones we are blessed to have. For whatever reason, nature didn't make that possible. Then the last pregnancy came as close to killing me as you can get, and still be here.

So Rookie, I'm standing tall there beside ya. ((hugs))

Edited January 17, 2010 by jazzyfizzle

[jazzyfizzle]

You want to see ugly? Go post this on an adoptive parents forum. :001_huh: You'd have had your heart/hat/other body parts handed to you on a stick. On a friendly day.

 

 

 

 

What a despairing and revealing comment on humanity. :sad:

 

And yet, just as sadly, so predictable.

[TravelingChris]

I was watching FOx news this afternoon. The reporter was at an orphanage where there were lots of babies waiting for the adoptions to go through. Many were set to be adopted by screened, educated parents who had gone through the whole adoption process but the earthquake happened before they could get their child or the paperwork was not finalized (usually on the US side). Anyway, this orphanage is without formula. ALl they currently have is cow's milk and that is running out and so is the water. He was pleading for the UN or the US military or someone to bring formula, water, food, etc, to these children. The babies, in particular, are in great danger.

[AngelBee]

I was watching FOx news this afternoon. The reporter was at an orphanage where there were lots of babies waiting for the adoptions to go through. Many were set to be adopted by screened, educated parents who had gone through the whole adoption process but the earthquake happened before they could get their child or the paperwork was not finalized (usually on the US side). Anyway, this orphanage is without formula. ALl they currently have is cow's milk and that is running out and so is the water. He was pleading for the UN or the US military or someone to bring formula, water, food, etc, to these children. The babies, in particular, are in great danger.

 

:( Praying

[Dobela]

I haven't read all the replies so forgive me if I repeat information. We had friends who adopted from Haiti and it took over 2 years to bring their children home after matching. I suspect that at this point it will take longer. The process was already full of delays and crazy regulations that changed on a whim by local governments, I believe it will just be even more so.

[rookie]

I want to express a sincere and heart-felt thank you to those of you who understood my original post - including the intent of my heart - and also to those of you who kindly educated me on the difficulties/dangers of expediting adoptions (even in times of catastrophic need).

 

We will help the children of Haiti (and others in need both at home and around the world) as we can.

 

 

:)

rookie