Widower's son breastfed

[Pamela H in Texas]

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/09/15/women-rally-around-widower-to-breast-feed-infant-son/

 

Interesting.

[Slartibartfast]

That's lovely. :crying:

[SonshineLearner]

Really sweet.... what is proven to be able to be transmitted through br**st milk?? I'd have no problem with a friend nursing my babies... I'm not sure I'd feel ok about so many... hmmm. BUT, formula has some issues, too.

 

Carrie:-)

[JudyJudyJudy]

Really sweet.... what is proven to be able to be transmitted through br**st milk?? I'd have no problem with a friend nursing my babies... I'm not sure I'd feel ok about so many... hmmm. BUT, formula has some issues, too.

 

Carrie:-)

HIV can be transmitted through breast milk, and some studies say that hep C can be as well.

 

I wouldn't be comfortable allowing others to breastfeed my baby (unless perhaps they'd been thoroughly tested), but since the father is okay with it, then who am I to say anything against it? It is heartwarming to see so many people who are willing to help. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

What a wonderful community of women.

[Tap]

My grandmother was a wet nurse for years. It was relatively common back then. Funny how something that has been done for years comes to light, and the media makes a sensation out of it. :lol:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

When I was nursing my oldest I had an agreement with my close friend that if anything happened to either of us we would breastfeed the other's baby.

 

:001_smile:

[Spy Car]

What loving gestures on these women's parts.

 

Thanks for sharing this Pamela.

 

Bill

[ThatCyndiGirl]

What loving gestures on these women's parts.

 

Thanks for sharing this Pamela.

 

Bill

 

 

:lol:

 

 

Sorry, I'm suddenly 13 again. :D

[Spy Car]

:lol:

 

 

Sorry, I'm suddenly 13 again. :D

 

I didn't mean it that way...honest :D

 

Bill :lol:

[KidsHappen]

What a beautiful story and how incredibly blessed the entire community is to be able to come together in this way. May limit his dating potential some and he may end up somewhat confused with 25 women telling him, "I nursed you myself, boy" but I guarantee this child will be watched over as he grows up. We should all be so lucky. :)

[Lilymax]

I was just thinking of how strong this baby's immune system must be. If a nursing mom produces antibodies to anything she's exposed to, and baby in turn receives them through BF, how many antibodies must this child be ingesting from all those different moms? (That would be an interesting study, wouldn't it? If a baby nursed from more than one woman has a stronger immune system.)

[chaik76]

That's amazing and wonderful.

 

I connected with the story too, because we used to live not that far from Marquette, Mi. when I was small.

[mommaduck]

That is awesome!

[BamaTanya]

I can see nursing someone else's baby. Why does it bother me to think of someone else nursing mine? The exposure to possible infections from so many sources, perhaps. If the wetnurse were someone close -- my sister or sil or best friend -- but 25 women?

 

Of course, his mommy is gone . . .

[mazakaal]

I think it's wonderful that this community of women have gathered round for the sake of the baby, but I think it's sad that it's become such a media frenzy. Really. A few interviews or news articles are fine, but what on earth is a tv reality show doing bothering this poor man? Very sad imo.

[phathui5]

I think it's awesome how this community has come together for that poor family. I hope that my friends would have done the same if something happened to me.

[nova147]

I can see nursing someone else's baby. Why does it bother me to think of someone else nursing mine?

 

 

I've had this thought before too. I think it's the protectiveness of being a mom. It's easy to extend that to a helpless child, but hard to let go of it in relation to your own.

 

It's a lovely story. My only wish is that they had talked about milk donation -- it's an alternative to actual wet nursing that is more palatable to many people. And it would be great if more people would be willing to donate milk. There are so many babies (especially preemies) who could really benefit from it.

[springmama]

Nova, I think that the problem with donation is that for some women it takes a very long time to pump the necessary amount of milk for a feeding. If I were one of those women, I'd probably only be able to help if I could just pop over and feed the baby really quickly. Pumping never gets much milk from me, even when my babies are small. My kids are huge so it's not like I'm not making milk. I just have trouble pumping.

 

Regarding donating milk for preemies....I have heard that there is so much red tape involved that for some people it's just not something they are willing to do unless they really have lots of milk to donate.

[Tree House Academy]

Surely the women who have volunteered to help were friends of this woman, in some way. And surely, they were tested during their own pregnancies for things like HIV and hep. C (they obviously had babies recently themselves). I think it is amazing. I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose your wife during childbirth. It is just something that so rarely happens in this country these days.

[jubulibee]

I actually nursed my best friend's baby while she had to be on some meds that were passed through the milk. I was nursing my own baby too (who was 6 months older than her baby). I had to do it for about a week at a time 3 different times. At one point, my friend had so much stress and PPD going on, we actually kept the baby for her for a week. During that time, my baby was dropped at church (frightening!), and we had to go to the ER. When my husband brought it my friend's baby to nurse all the nurses got so confused. They knew the babies were too close in age to both be mine. Anyway. She (the BF's baby) nursed from me fine the first few weeks, but as she got a little older she did not want me, she just wanted her mommy.

 

Needless to say, she and I still have a special relationship, 8 years later.

[joannqn]

What a wonderful community of women.

 

:iagree:

 

Regarding donating milk for preemies....I have heard that there is so much red tape involved that for some people it's just not something they are willing to do unless they really have lots of milk to donate.

 

:iagree:

 

I have such an oversupply of milk the first month or so, and I can get a fair amount of milk with a pump, but the donation process/red tape is just a hassle. When I considered it, I had to consider the amount of time it would take out of the day. It had to go through a milk bank. First, you have to be approved through a particular process. It had to be pumped in certain ways (special sanitary protocols), be stored in certain amounts, and shipped in certain batches. I'd have to find a supplier of dry ice, get the ice, pack the milk in batches, and take it to be shipped overnight. It'd be so much easier to pump like normal and drop it off at the hospital a couple miles away...but that wasn't allowed.

[Lovedtodeath]

I have such an oversupply of milk the first month or so, and I can get a fair amount of milk with a pump, but the donation process/red tape is just a hassle. When I considered it, I had to consider the amount of time it would take out of the day. It had to go through a milk bank. First, you have to be approved through a particular process. It had to be pumped in certain ways (special sanitary protocols), be stored in certain amounts, and shipped in certain batches. I'd have to find a supplier of dry ice, get the ice, pack the milk in batches, and take it to be shipped overnight. It'd be so much easier to pump like normal and drop it off at the hospital a couple miles away...but that wasn't allowed.

I have also heard that donated milk becomes so expensive after they do the process to it. $15 per bottle is what I have in my head...

[mommaduck]

I have also heard that donated milk becomes so expensive after they do the process to it. $15 per bottle is what I have in my head...

I've heard over a hundred per ounce before. Maybe that's if it's going to a babe in the hosp.

[MomtoCandJ]

Mr. Goodrich was one of my professors at NMU, he taught Western Civilization to 1600

[Murphy101]

I would think it hard on the baby. 1 or 2 seems enough. That many different nursing moms would be like using a different formula with every bottle. I know that would have been very hard on my babies digestion. I'd think it would be harder to bond with that many different women too.

 

I would also worry about disease too. Most women I know don't get HIV and hep c screening during pregnancy. I've never had either.

 

On the whole I think it's good I guess, just a bit in excess IMO and not something my dh would be ok with.

[Impish]

Here in my province, testing for HIV and Hep is routine pregnancy bloodwork.

 

I think its incredible that these women have rallied to feed this infant. I'm a bit daunted at the idea of 25 women doing so...you'd think two or three would be more than enough.

 

I'm one of the women that produces tonnes of milk, but not when pumping. Getting more than an ounce was a happy dance moment. With Princess, we gave up pumping altogether, and just went with a sample can of powdered formula for the extremely rare times I was going out...and the one blessed night that Wolf took the night shift and I slept in the basement, and had my first solid six hours of sleep in months.

[Lovedtodeath]

I was thinking 25 was a bit excessive too. I would think 3-10 would suffice. I wonder how it went from one woman offering to do it to that many?

[Barb_]

I was thinking 25 was a bit excessive too. I would think 3-10 would suffice. I wonder how it went from one woman offering to do it to that many?

 

I'm guessing that as new women found out about it, they would volunteer and he just didn't know how to say, "No thanks, we already have plenty." Seriously, how hard would that be for him to reject anyone that wanted to help?

 

Barb

[Mom-ninja.]

If anything were to happen to me while I had a nursing little one, my husband knows where to find my "milk" friend. :D

 

Salma Hayak said that her grandmother was a village wetnurse. Also, I believe, Salma herself nursed someone else's baby while promoting a vaccine as a way to try and break the breastfeeding taboo in the country. At least that's the rumor....haven't checked it out myself. DH said he would be more than happy to have her nurse his babies.:lol:

[Spy Car]

Think what it might mean to that child one day, to know 25 women stepped up to nurse him when his mother passed. It's pretty awesome.

 

Bill

[Dawn in OH]

That's really amazing and beautiful.

 

I was tested for HIV and Hep C during all of my pregnancies. I was kind of offended at being tested for HIV since I was married and with the same man for 10 years, but I can understand why it's done.

[Murphy101]

That's really amazing and beautiful.

 

I was tested for HIV and Hep C during all of my pregnancies. I was kind of offended at being tested for HIV since I was married and with the same man for 10 years, but I can understand why it's done.

 

OT, but..

 

It's not a requirement here or anywhere else in the US to my knowledge.

 

I don't know anyone that has had them routinely done.

 

If I don't need the test, then I don't do it.

 

I would not be offended at being asked, which I have been with each pregnancy.

 

I would be offended at being told I had to do it.

 

Esp as I've been with dh almost since puberty.:D

[Dawn in OH]

OT, but..

 

It's not a requirement here or anywhere else in the US to my knowledge.

 

I don't know anyone that has had them routinely done.

 

If I don't need the test, then I don't do it.

 

I would not be offended at being asked, which I have been with each pregnancy.

 

I would be offended at being told I had to do it.

 

Esp as I've been with dh almost since puberty.:D

 

The thing that offended me was that it wasn't offered, I wasn't asked, nor was I informed. I got sent for my "bloodwork" and as I was waiting my turn I decided to read the form and HIV test was checked off.

 

I'm not easily offended, but for some reason that specific test being checked off on the form, without it ever being mentioned to me, offended me. So I guess it was kind of like being told I had to do it in my opinion.

[Murphy101]

ACK! That rates right up there with sitting up to get dressed to leave after the birth of my 2nd and suddenly feeling a stick in my arm as the nurse said, "Here's your rubella booster shot. Your antibodies were down on it. Be sure to not miss your birth control pill for the next 6 months because it causes severe birth defects."

 

:glare:

[CAMom]

I don't know if I've ever shared this story here but this thread obviously brought it back for me.

 

Five years ago this month, my beautiful daughter was born with a heart defect. As I sat helplessly in the NICU having no control over her condition, I pumped my heart out for her. It was the only thing I could control. I pumped a lot! My inside freezer was full and my freezer in the garage also filled up quickly. My little girl was only given minute amounts of my milk at a time through an ng tube.

 

Six weeks to the day after she was born, she passed away. I asked my husband what I was going to do with all of that milk I had stored away. He suggested that I would just have to dump it. I cried. I could not dump those hundreds of ounces of love I had pumped for my daughter.

 

We had friends who had had a baby girl just a month before our Katherine was born. The mom had struggled and struggled to nurse and it just wasn't working. So, my husband offered them our storehouse of milk. I was hesitant because I thought they would think we were nuts. But, they were so thankful for our offer and took us up on it.

 

The husband would stop by after work each week and collect enough to feed their daughter for the next 7 days. In my grief, I was so happy to be able to serve another family in this way!

 

The way these women have reached out is inspiring. I'm thankful that they have offered themselves in such a loving way to a family in grief.

[Moxie]

The thing that offended me was that it wasn't offered, I wasn't asked, nor was I informed. I got sent for my "bloodwork" and as I was waiting my turn I decided to read the form and HIV test was checked off.

 

I'm not easily offended, but for some reason that specific test being checked off on the form, without it ever being mentioned to me, offended me. So I guess it was kind of like being told I had to do it in my opinion.

 

Part of the reason for the test (as it was explained to me) was that if one of my doctors or nurses stuck themselves, it would make them feel better if I had it immediatly in my file that I didn't have any communicable diseases. My sister is a doctor and had to go through TONS of tests and couldn't work for a time after an accidental stick so I was fine with it.

[Spy Car]

I don't know if I've ever shared this story here but this thread obviously brought it back for me.

 

Five years ago this month, my beautiful daughter was born with a heart defect. As I sat helplessly in the NICU having no control over her condition, I pumped my heart out for her. It was the only thing I could control. I pumped a lot! My inside freezer was full and my freezer in the garage also filled up quickly. My little girl was only given minute amounts of my milk at a time through an ng tube.

 

Six weeks to the day after she was born, she passed away. I asked my husband what I was going to do with all of that milk I had stored away. He suggested that I would just have to dump it. I cried. I could not dump those hundreds of ounces of love I had pumped for my daughter.

 

We had friends who had had a baby girl just a month before our Katherine was born. The mom had struggled and struggled to nurse and it just wasn't working. So, my husband offered them our storehouse of milk. I was hesitant because I thought they would think we were nuts. But, they were so thankful for our offer and took us up on it.

 

The husband would stop by after work each week and collect enough to feed their daughter for the next 7 days. In my grief, I was so happy to be able to serve another family in this way!

 

The way these women have reached out is inspiring. I'm thankful that they have offered themselves in such a loving way to a family in grief.

 

Your story touched me deeply Ronette.

 

Bill

[Nakia]

I don't know if I've ever shared this story here but this thread obviously brought it back for me.

 

Five years ago this month, my beautiful daughter was born with a heart defect. As I sat helplessly in the NICU having no control over her condition, I pumped my heart out for her. It was the only thing I could control. I pumped a lot! My inside freezer was full and my freezer in the garage also filled up quickly. My little girl was only given minute amounts of my milk at a time through an ng tube.

 

Six weeks to the day after she was born, she passed away. I asked my husband what I was going to do with all of that milk I had stored away. He suggested that I would just have to dump it. I cried. I could not dump those hundreds of ounces of love I had pumped for my daughter.

 

We had friends who had had a baby girl just a month before our Katherine was born. The mom had struggled and struggled to nurse and it just wasn't working. So, my husband offered them our storehouse of milk. I was hesitant because I thought they would think we were nuts. But, they were so thankful for our offer and took us up on it.

 

The husband would stop by after work each week and collect enough to feed their daughter for the next 7 days. In my grief, I was so happy to be able to serve another family in this way!

 

The way these women have reached out is inspiring. I'm thankful that they have offered themselves in such a loving way to a family in grief.

 

What an amazing story! Of course, I already knew how awesome you are, but this is the icing on the cake!!

[Lovedtodeath]

Ronette, thank you for sharing. Beautiful.

[mom2agang]

I live about 10 minutes from this story and know some that are involved. Marquette is a tight knit group like this. In MI you do not have to have any testing and if they choose too they have to have your written permission. Word got out at the food co-op and then it spread like wild fire around here. These women are so giving in other ways too. Him and his wife did so much locally. It was very sad he lost her. I know one of the ladies still pumps around the clock every 3 hrs. She is also pumping for another family too. You won't find him on Oprah. He just isnt that type of person. Im very surprised it is this far.

[Barb_]

I don't know if I've ever shared this story here but this thread obviously brought it back for me.

 

Five years ago this month, my beautiful daughter was born with a heart defect. As I sat helplessly in the NICU having no control over her condition, I pumped my heart out for her. It was the only thing I could control. I pumped a lot! My inside freezer was full and my freezer in the garage also filled up quickly. My little girl was only given minute amounts of my milk at a time through an ng tube.

 

Six weeks to the day after she was born, she passed away. I asked my husband what I was going to do with all of that milk I had stored away. He suggested that I would just have to dump it. I cried. I could not dump those hundreds of ounces of love I had pumped for my daughter.

 

We had friends who had had a baby girl just a month before our Katherine was born. The mom had struggled and struggled to nurse and it just wasn't working. So, my husband offered them our storehouse of milk. I was hesitant because I thought they would think we were nuts. But, they were so thankful for our offer and took us up on it.

 

The husband would stop by after work each week and collect enough to feed their daughter for the next 7 days. In my grief, I was so happy to be able to serve another family in this way!

 

The way these women have reached out is inspiring. I'm thankful that they have offered themselves in such a loving way to a family in grief.

 

Oh Honey, that made me tear up. Not much does that nowdays. What a blessing you were to each other. I'm so sorry for your heartache.

 

Barb

[IsabelC]

CAMom, can I just say you are an awsome momma, what a wonderfully generous thing to do for your friends' little one. I am so glad you found that it helped a little with dealing with the loss of your precious baby.

[gardenschooler]

That made me tear up, too. How touching. :grouphug:

[moki4]

It is amazing what these women are doing.

To nuture and nourish a baby is a blessing.

If more women ruled the world.....or maybe I should say if more mothers ruled the world...

 

:001_smile:

[emeraldjoy]

How, may I ask, did you handle this? You practice NFP, I am assuming. This is the stuff nightmares are made of!

So sorry.

e

ACK! That rates right up there with sitting up to get dressed to leave after the birth of my 2nd and suddenly feeling a stick in my arm as the nurse said, "Here's your rubella booster shot. Your antibodies were down on it. Be sure to not miss your birth control pill for the next 6 months because it causes severe birth defects."

 

:glare:

[emeraldjoy]

Thanks so much for this story and sharing a piece of your heart with all of us. I will never forget this story and will pass it on in appropriate situations. I cannot imagine such a loss, but please know that this story is genuinely changing people's attitudes and hearts.

Thanks so much,

emerald

I don't know if I've ever shared this story here but this thread obviously brought it back for me.

 

Five years ago this month, my beautiful daughter was born with a heart defect. As I sat helplessly in the NICU having no control over her condition, I pumped my heart out for her. It was the only thing I could control. I pumped a lot! My inside freezer was full and my freezer in the garage also filled up quickly. My little girl was only given minute amounts of my milk at a time through an ng tube.

 

Six weeks to the day after she was born, she passed away. I asked my husband what I was going to do with all of that milk I had stored away. He suggested that I would just have to dump it. I cried. I could not dump those hundreds of ounces of love I had pumped for my daughter.

 

We had friends who had had a baby girl just a month before our Katherine was born. The mom had struggled and struggled to nurse and it just wasn't working. So, my husband offered them our storehouse of milk. I was hesitant because I thought they would think we were nuts. But, they were so thankful for our offer and took us up on it.

 

The husband would stop by after work each week and collect enough to feed their daughter for the next 7 days. In my grief, I was so happy to be able to serve another family in this way!

 

The way these women have reached out is inspiring. I'm thankful that they have offered themselves in such a loving way to a family in grief.

[sarahli]

I went to Nursing school at NMU... and one of the women in the photo is an old friend!:w00t:

[CAMom]

Thank you all for letting me share my story and for your kind words. This is my "hard time" of the year as it's during that six week period my daughter was with us.

 

She was born September 17, 2004 and passed away on October 29, 2004.

 

The little one who grew well on my stored milk is a smart, beautiful 5 year old now. I can't help but smile every time I see her.:)

 

Our hearts received some healing when our son was born just 51 weeks after our Katherine. He entered our family 8 days before what would have been her first birthday.

[Ibbygirl]

Thank you all for letting me share my story and for your kind words. This is my "hard time" of the year as it's during that six week period my daughter was with us.

 

She was born September 17, 2004 and passed away on October 29, 2004.

 

The little one who grew well on my stored milk is a smart, beautiful 5 year old now. I can't help but smile every time I see her.:)

 

Our hearts received some healing when our son was born just 51 weeks after our Katherine. He entered our family 8 days before what would have been her first birthday.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :crying: