Christian modesty

[catherine smith]

Do you consider yourself a modest woman in your dress? What is your definition of modesty? Mine is pretty much anything opposite of the "world." Zero cleavage for sure. Bathing suits that can be bought in a store are out for sure too. Odd thing is my husband is much more attracted to me now that I dress modestly and cover my body as compared to previously. I think the big thing is that we shouldn't use the world as our standard of measure. For example, if we say "this shirt isn't too low cut" are we comparing that to the world's standards or the Bible's?

[mommaduck]

*wonders who is going to be the first to grab the ten foot pole*

 

Btw, I am a very modest Christian mama...even headcover. However, modesty is not limited to Christians, Muslims, Jews, or even Pagans (yes, I even know headcovering Pagans...for similar reasons as other faiths). This is a very diverse board. Convictions run strong, but Grace should run just as strong...tread with Wisdom over Zeal ;)

[Mrs Mungo]

To use a less charged word, I'll say that I consider myself to be a fairly conservative dresser. However, you would not consider me to be so. While I believe you may have a personal conviction in regard to your mode of dress, I feel no such conviction. There are female leaders in my church (a charismatic church) who dress less conservatively than I do. Does that answer it well enough?

[Ellie]

Here's the thing: The world *does* define modesty. The Bible does NOT give us specific instructions on what "modesty" means. There have been times in history when cleavage was acceptable but elbows were not. Go figure. In some parts of the world women (and men) were little clothing yet they are considered "modest" by *their* world's standards.

[newlifemom]

I have two barometers that I use. 1. Would I want Jesus to see me in this? 2. What are my motivations for wearing this?

 

[sigh] Sadly, even if I wasn't modest/conservative whatever word you'd want to use. No one would want to look. [Lots of baby weight to go]

[Mandy in TN]

*wonders who is going to be the first to grab the ten foot pole*

:lol:bwahaha

Alright, I'll hang myself on that pole.

 

I am Christian (at least culturally), but dh is Muslim (at least culturally). So, I may not qualify to discuss Christian modesty, but I'm feeling brave this week. LOL

 

I have found that not only does my idea of modesty depend on the setting, but it has also vacillated over the years. Anyway, basically, for me, I feel like being modest is a combination of not drawing unnecessary attention to one's self in a particular setting and what a woman feels she is called to wear through her personal relationship with God.

 

Currently, for me, a Land's End bathing skirt suit is fine at the pool. OTOH, in jr. high I had a green bikini. For a long time I wore swim team style swimsuits. I liked to water ski and I wanted something that stayed put. I did go through a period of time where I wore long men's swim trunks and t-shirts. Then, I felt, for me, too conspicuous like this drew more attention and was less modest than the Land's End bathing skirt suit, so I bought one.:D

 

Currently, for me, I will wear shorts, but nothing shorter than just hitting the knee. I also have no problem with jeans. I went through periods in my life all over the place with this one.

 

Currently, for me, if I put my hand in the hollow of my throat a shirt will not show any skin and my bare shoulders never show. This has pretty much been true my whole life, but not due to modesty. I was very skinny growing up and I didn't like looking at my collar bones. For a while I always wore long sleeved shirts for the same reason. Alas, I longer have the skinny problem.

 

Currently, for me, I do not feel led to cover my head, but I have no problem doing so for those few occasions that I have gone to the mosque with dh. Iranian women just wear loose scarves like I remember my great-grandmother wearing when she left the house so that the wind didn't mess up her hair. Who knows one day I may feel led to cover my head, but right now I just think that I would look silly in my knee length shorts and little Land's End v-neck with a head covering.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Retired]

I had another Christian home school mom tell me that shorts, pants, etc were a sin for women

 

I then explained that the bible does not give us a dress code. That we each should work out our own salvations. That the holy spirit will convict us in areas we may be sinning.

 

So in my heart I dress modest but you probably wouldn't agree.

 

I have seen 2 churches split because of the modest mode (all women should wear this or that) I wonder why it always comes to the women with the sin problems, seem to me men need to pray for self control.

 

I attended a church full of very modestly dressed women. The dresses/skirts to the floor no extra skins showing. I actually wore pants. I was consider the sinner, the rebel, etc.

 

Said church with all the rules split. Want to know why?

 

Well guess what there was still lust and sin. The minister and deacons wife had an affair. They ran off together. I guess dressing head to toe in cloth does not keep a man from falling.

[gardening momma]

To use a less charged word, I'll say that I consider myself to be a fairly conservative dresser. However, you would not consider me to be so.

:iagree: However, when I gain weight and don't have money to go right out and buy new clothes, my clothing appears less modest because it's tighter. :glare:

[newlifemom]

:iagree: However, when I gain weight and don't have money to go right out and buy new clothes, my clothing appears less modest because it's tighter. :glare:

 

 

I know all about that. And you're right :glare:

[HRAAB]

Yes, I consider myself a modest dresser. Sometimes that is a pair of jeans/tee shirt, sometimes a pair of shorts and tank top (especially when weeding the garden in 90 degree heat), sometimes a dress, and occasionally a small amount of cleavage. Right now I have on a long skirt and knit top. And even sometimes you'll find me with my head covered. I'm positive you would not consider me a modest dresser. It's all fine though.

 

eta: Oh, and modesty is not exclusive to Christianity.

 

Janet

[catherine smith]

I agree, it would be much easier, for me, if the Bible defined modest dress, but it doesn't, hence the discussion. I guess it's just heavy on my heart right now and I'm looking for help. While there are grey areas, there are obvious black and white ones TO ME. Either way, "working out my salvation" I am.

[AlmiraGulch]

This is an honest question, so please don't take it as anything other than that (meaning, there is no judgment or sarcasm whatsoever in this question):

 

Do you really think that the way you dress will influence your entry into God's kingdom? If so, based on what?

[kalanamak]

Y

 

eta: Oh, and modesty is not exclusive to Christianity.

 

 

I am modest because I'm a chubby middle aged woman. I don't like seeing immodest clothes on women who look like me, so why should I inflict it on others (ditto for chubby men)? I wore tank tops when I was younger and thinner, and 501 jeans (these are not skin tight). I even went braless back when I could pass the pencil test, and back when a lot of other girls my age did, too. I've never, ever worn heels.

 

Absolutely nothing religious or gender-role in my choice. I have always preferred that people speak to and listen to my BRAIN. I think BRAINS are more important than cleavage, even if you've got the greatest cleavage on earth.

[mommaduck]

What are you needing help with?

[Dayle in Guatemala]

My motto:

 

 

"Modesty is as modesty does."

 

 

 

You can be dressed completely modest in a turtle neck sweater and baggy jeans, but, carry yourself in a way that is totally immodest. It's important to me that my girls learn that life isn't about what's on the outside, but, what's on the inside.

 

There are obviously immodest things to wear, (string bikinis, shirts that reveal a LOT of skin, and really short shorts) but, for the most part, I believe that if my dd wants to wear skinny jeans and a fitted t-shirt (I use this particular example because a good friend of mine considers this immodest for a Christian young lady) and carries herself like a lady, that's okay with me.

[lionfamily1999]

I have two barometers that I use. 1. Would I want Jesus to see me in this? 2. What are my motivations for wearing this?

 

[sigh] Sadly, even if I wasn't modest/conservative whatever word you'd want to use. No one would want to look. [Lots of baby weight to go]

I completely understand where you are coming from. My only modification is... I always ask myself how would I feel if my great-grandmother (she died when I was 15) could see me. Lol, as far as dress codes went, she wrote the book. She wore pants once in her entire life... and her husband had a fit :lol:

 

 

It's hard to say how I feel knowing I could wear a garbage bag and be as attractive as I am in my 'nice' capris and t-shirt (cuz that's ma dress up clothes).

[petepie2]

You should check out the "Modesty Survey" at http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/ . This is the website managed by teens Alex and Brett Harris.

 

It was done a couple of years ago. Christian teenage girls submitted the questions, and guys (mostly teenagers, but many ages represented) gave the answers. The questions were reworded to be statements, such as "Jeans are immodest". The guys would then rate the statement on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree. They could also leave comments. It's very interesting to browse through the results. There are bar graphs for each statement and you can see the comments that were submitted. The statements/results are grouped into categories (e.g. swimsuits, skirts, posture and movement, etc)

[Sue G in PA]

I have two barometers that I use. 1. Would I want Jesus to see me in this? 2. What are my motivations for wearing this?

 

[sigh] Sadly, even if I wasn't modest/conservative whatever word you'd want to use. No one would want to look. [Lots of baby weight to go]

 

And I will add that I use my dh as my barometer. I always ask him if he would have cause to "stumble" if he saw another woman dressed in what I was wearing. If his answer is a quick no...the outfit is a go. If he hesitates...it's back to the drawing board. Personally, I think I probably walk a fine line. :tongue_smilie:

 

Mommaduck...:lol::lol::lol: I shouldn't really be anywhere near that pole.

[Melissa in Australia]

This is an honest question, so please don't take it as anything other than that (meaning, there is no judgment or sarcasm whatsoever in this question):

 

Do you really think that the way you dress will influence your entry into God's kingdom? If so, based on what?

:lol::lol::lol:

[Slartibartfast]

You should check out the "Modesty Survey" at http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/ . This is the website managed by teens Alex and Brett Harris.

 

It was done a couple of years ago. Christian teenage girls submitted the questions, and guys (mostly teenagers, but many ages represented) gave the answers. The questions were reworded to be statements, such as "Jeans are immodest". The guys would then rate the statement on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree. They could also leave comments. It's very interesting to browse through the results. There are bar graphs for each statement and you can see the comments that were submitted. The statements/results are grouped into categories (e.g. swimsuits, skirts, posture and movement, etc)

 

Woa, that survey is eye opening.

 

27.7% agreed with...

 

It is a stumbling block when swimsuit ties stick out from under clothing (e.g. tied around the neck).

and 7% strongly agreed.

 

and

 

A shirt buttoned to just under the bust is a stumbling block, even if a modest shirt is worn underneath.

32.9% agreed! What!! How is that a "stumbling block?"

 

 

and my fav

 

Sparkly, shiny skirts are a stumbling block, regardless of length.

Now, near 100 people agreed with that. I am just trying to imagine. "The sparklez!! I cannot resist them!"

 

No wonder there are such issues with breastfeeding. It seems like a lot of silly things are stumbling blocks. Maybe people should be teaching self control rather than just stumbling.

 

I think some of it is fair but some of that is just unreasonable.

 

As for me I dress fairly conservatively. I do wear pants but I don't really wear things above my knee.

Edited September 12, 2009 by Sis

[Mrs Mungo]

Hm, looks like pretty much everything is a stumbling block...except gauchos. In other words, everything remotely pretty or attractive is sexually arousing.

 

And apparently no walking or running, ladies!

Seeing a girl's chest bounce when she is walking or running is a stumbling block

 

76.5% agree or strongly agree with that.

 

This survey is nuts!

Edited September 12, 2009 by Mrs Mungo

[Slartibartfast]

My husband doesn't like gauchos. He hates them intensely.

 

He might start burning people in effigy if they try and convince me to wear gauchos

 

He would also burn the gauchos.

Edited September 12, 2009 by Sis

[petepie2]

Hm, looks like pretty much everything is a stumbling block...except gauchos. In other words, everything remotely pretty or attractive is sexually arousing.

 

And apparently no walking or running, ladies!

 

 

76.5% agree or strongly agree with that.

 

This survey is nuts!

 

You know, a bunch of Christian girls wanting to know about what guys think about modesty isn't "nuts". And I thought that the comments on that particular question showed that these guys aren't "nuts" either. These guys are talking about what are problems for THEM. Men see things through different eyes than women. I find it encouraging that there are even teenagers out there who are concerned about what guys think about modesty, especially in an age when most of them go around half dressed.

[Word Nerd]

You really can't get the whole picture of the modesty survey unless you read the explanatory material and the comments. I was angry the first time I looked at the numbers, but I had a different picture of the whole thing after I read some of the accompanying articles on the site. Here's one young man's comment:

 

"Let’s be honest. We’re men, and we’re responsible for ourselves. We’re responsible for our thoughts, for our lusts, for our character. We won’t be able to blame the girls when we’re called to give account for it in the judgment day. We won’t be able to say like Adam, “The woman you made…â€

 

In fact, the Bible warns us that if our eyes are causing us to offend, it would be better to pluck it out than to allow it to lead us astray. Now you girls don’t want that to happen… Please?

 

We are responsible for bringing these senses into subordination to the will of God. We’re trying. And we get tested every day. That’s our job wherever we are, whether in the world or in church. But quite honestly, we’d rather do our battles with the world than with our sisters in Christ."

 

That doesn't sound unreasonable or nuts to me, and there are many examples like that in the survey. Unlike so many other resources focused on Christian modesty, I think this project's overall message is a positive, healthy one for males and females and could lead to some good discussions with teens.

[Word Nerd]

As for the OP's question, I have my own standard of modesty (that's such a loaded word that I'm hesitant to use it) and I do consider how what I wear may affect others, though I don't obsess over it or give it more attention than I think is warranted. I don't dress provocatively, but I also don't try to hide the fact that I'm a woman and I have a woman's body. I don't wear clothing that others have deemed modest apparel, and I don't abide by anyone else's modesty checklist (e.g., no pants, no fitted tops, no store-bought swimsuits).

[astrid]

I am modest because I'm a chubby middle aged woman. I don't like seeing immodest clothes on women who look like me, so why should I inflict it on others (ditto for chubby men)? I wore tank tops when I was younger and thinner, and 501 jeans (these are not skin tight). I even went braless back when I could pass the pencil test, and back when a lot of other girls my age did, too. I've never, ever worn heels.

 

Absolutely nothing religious or gender-role in my choice. I have always preferred that people speak to and listen to my BRAIN. I think BRAINS are more important than cleavage, even if you've got the greatest cleavage on earth.

 

WELL SAID. As a chubby, middle-aged woman with a bit of a brain myself, I totally agree.

 

astrid

[Orthodox6]

I dress modestly. How I define "modesty", however, as well as what I think about any other topic, is irrelevant in the eyes of everybody else. That is how message boards work. I keep reading boards because they are useful for catching glimpses of how other people think. The world is diverse and very interesting.

[HRAAB]

I am modest because I'm a chubby middle aged woman. I don't like seeing immodest clothes on women who look like me, so why should I inflict it on others (ditto for chubby men)? I wore tank tops when I was younger and thinner, and 501 jeans (these are not skin tight). I even went braless back when I could pass the pencil test, and back when a lot of other girls my age did, too. I've never, ever worn heels.

 

Absolutely nothing religious or gender-role in my choice. I have always preferred that people speak to and listen to my BRAIN. I think BRAINS are more important than cleavage, even if you've got the greatest cleavage on earth.

 

Yup, I'm right there with you, too. If I've been gardening in cutoffs and tank top, I'll change my clothes before running to the store cause people shouldn't have to look at that. But in my own backyard, I'll wear what is comfortable. Oh, and dh likes me in cutoffs and tanktop.

 

Janet

[BMW]

Guess I'm brave today and willing to jump in...

 

I'm blessed in the chest area (not excessive, but quite very well rounded and full) and I am not at all comfortable with anyone seeing any part of my books. It's hard to find swim wear that I feel is not embarrassingly outdated and covers me enough. I wont wear a v-neck anymore because in between my collar bones, the skin is wrinkling up! Eww. I am not ready for that part of life yet! I wear what is comfortable and what I like. I do not find tight pants at all comfortable. I love dresses when it is warm and despise having to wear them if it is cold. This has NOTHING to do with my salvation, for in my heart and life I live to honor God and wearing pants outfits that are lovely and speaking kind to others, being respectful and caring, honoring my husband... that speaks louder than wearing a dress.

 

That said, I love a friend dearly who wears dresses only. She is a great lady. Sadly, in her group of association are many other ladies who will look away or walk away, considering my choices sinful. It is very sad, but they do act in a way that *could* make me feel less than them, but I that is my choice how I feel and I know who I am in God.

 

So, in your quest for modesty, start with your heart and actions. I like that "modesty is as modesty does"... I believe it is wise to dress for the occasion. If you are going to ride a horse, dress for it... if you are going to sled on snow, dress for it... if you are spring cleaning, dress for it! There's a great, big world out there with many climates, seasons and weather patterns. To say that men wear pants and women wear dresses is an insult to our very world... it implies that men can dress warmer than women... too bad, you're female, so you have to look like "this" to be warm. (I lived in this extreme, in Alaska... if a woman wore dresses only she was at risk in the coldest parts of winter... so she would have to wear snow pants and boots for safety... and put on a dress over them because she is female) (And I went to the hospital to deliver a baby on the coldest day in 15 years... colder than 60 below and I wore a very thick sweat suit with a parka and was told by a dress-only lady that "she" would not have been comfortable doing that... wow...) I don't share this to stir up anything, but rather to point out that I believe God is aware what the temperature is and that women and men are allowed to dress for the weather.

[sunflowerlady]

I believe in modesty , but dress in different ways according to my mood and how I feel that day as well as what I will be doing. I see no "uniform" described in the Bible. Basically it says that women are not to wear mens' clothing and men are not to wear women's clothing. It also says that women are to dress modestly. How each person applies that seems to be left open to personal conviction and choice.

 

I enjoy wearing denim or khaki skirts and find them very versatile for everyday wear. Other days, I may wear capris , jeans or shorts. I do not wear short shorts or mini skirts. I like my shorts to be longer than fingertip length. My skirts range anywhere from knee length to ankle length.

 

I have the same rules for dd. Oh, and no writing across the back of pants or shorts.

 

I see these are my personal standards for attire. They are not carved in stone and sent down from Heaven.:D They are simply how I choose to apply modest dressing to my life.

 

Basically I wear what I like and what I deem modest.

[Cammie]

I am modest because I'm a chubby middle aged woman. I don't like seeing immodest clothes on women who look like me, so why should I inflict it on others (ditto for chubby men)? I wore tank tops when I was younger and thinner, and 501 jeans (these are not skin tight). I even went braless back when I could pass the pencil test, and back when a lot of other girls my age did, too. I've never, ever worn heels.

 

Absolutely nothing religious or gender-role in my choice. I have always preferred that people speak to and listen to my BRAIN. I think BRAINS are more important than cleavage, even if you've got the greatest cleavage on earth.

 

The Pencil test - I haven't thought of that since I stopped reading Judy Blume! Thanks for the laugh!

[mommaduck]

What is modest on one woman may not be modest on another....

 

Case in point:

 

Conservative Mennonites love to argue this amoungst and within their groups (btdt, so this isn't trying to pick on anyone....simply experience from having been there, having family there, etc).

 

Should the skirts be mid-calf or 9in off the floor? On a tall woman, mid calf is seen as too short, but 9in off the floor would be long enough. On a short woman, 9in off the floor is seen as too short, but mid calf would be long enough. (long enough is relative towards the judgmental grapevine of the community and surrounding communities)

 

Oh and the capes on the cape dresses are supposed to hide a woman's chest, while the belt is "appropriate". Unless you are a well endowed woman....then you see more accentuating of their chest despite the cape and added by the belt. But oh my, the cape dress is deemed more modest than a woman in a loose blouse and skirt. Then there is the Charity group that adds in the jumpers (loved my jumpers till we moved to PA...now I can't wear them or else I would be mistaken for them)...jumpers don't have belts and it's double layered.

 

So what do we do...keep criticizing each other, one upping each other on who can be more modest (sorry, burka wearing muslim mamas will have you beat ;)....oh but *gasp*, they are Muslim!)

 

 

Please see the humour as well as that point I am trying to make with my example. We each have our own spouses. We each have our own cultures and backgrounds. We each have our own families and our own faiths. We SHOULD each have common sense. With all that combined, we each set standards for our own selves and our own households. We may see what we call contradictions in someone else's household, but I don't care how "tight" you are, someone is going to see some in your's as well. Set the standard for your own and be careful not to throw stones at others that have a different standard. I've been hit from both sides of the fence in this argument, some in the nastiest of ways.

 

 

As I said in my first post. Have Wisdom, have Grace.

[Word Nerd]

I think modesty springs from a heart of humility; the physical reflection is in our dress and attitudes. Modesty is the physical manifestation of humility. It is a way of deflecting attention from ourselves in our speech and appearance. So a neckline that is too low is not modest because it draw attention to oneself. Loud laughter (my demon) is another way of calling attention to oneself.

 

This brings up something else that I've observed. Some of the clothing that is sold on so-called modest clothing sites (especially swimwear) would likely draw more attention to a woman than if she dressed in styles that were more like what everyone else is wearing.

[Jill- OK]

...eye-popping, lol, but I hope that I'm teaching my sons to stop at...

 

"Let’s be honest. We’re men, and we’re responsible for ourselves. We’re responsible for our thoughts, for our lusts, for our character. We won’t be able to blame the girls when we’re called to give account for it in the judgment day. We won’t be able to say like Adam, “The woman you made…â€

 

The rest of it ("Can't you help us out?") is understandable...but unrealistic, imo (and experience).

 

In all honestly, there are always going to be odd things that no girl will think of (sparkles? Not jogging in front of men?), and you'd be hard pressed to convince me that anything other than billowy head-to-toe fabric would be enough to keep some young men from temptation. :D

 

Dressing considerately? Sure. I encourage my girls to do that, because I want them to be appreciated for their brains. And I do think you can encourage inappropriate attention, even though I believe even more strongly that anyone should have enough self-control to direct their eyes appropriately, or manage their thoughts.

 

But I also want my boys to be responsible men. And I don't know that I'd feel they'd reached that goal unless they understood that ultimately, you're the one who has to answer for your thoughts.

[Caitilin]

This brings up something else that I've observed. Some of the clothing that is sold on so-called modest clothing sites (especially swimwear) would likely draw more attention to a woman than if she dressed in styles that were more like what everyone else is wearing.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I went to college with a girl whose clothes, while "modest" in the "everything-is totally-covered-up" sense, were so weird, and so unlike anything that anyone else at this very conservative Christian college with a very strict dress code was wearing, that I think it defeated the purpose. She attracted attention to herself through her style of dress, rather than the opposite. My understanding is this is not what it is to be truly modest; rather, I think that modesty is an interior quality, of which style of dressing is but an expression. Drawing attention to yourself in any way, as for instance, Patty Johanna mentioned her laughter, or for me my smart-nose comments, is lacking in modesty, even if you are all covered up. My 2 cents. :D

[mommaduck]

Modesty is not about "not attracting attention". Women can attract attention simply by being feminine...it doesn't mean that it's a negative. It's about keeping certain parts of ourselves set aside from public view and/or for our spouses only.

 

Modesty of behaviour simply means not being inappropriate or outrageous. Just because someone is "out of the norm" or "different" does not mean they are inappropriate or outrageous. That is the "thou must fit in OUR culture" mindset of certain types in America. They should not have to change their standards of modesty and expose themselves just to "fit in".

[Word Nerd]

Modesty is not about "not attracting attention". Women can attract attention simply by being feminine...it doesn't mean that it's a negative. It's about keeping certain parts of ourselves set aside from public view and/or for our spouses only.

 

Modesty of behaviour simply means not being inappropriate or outrageous. Just because someone is "out of the norm" or "different" does not mean they are inappropriate or outrageous. That is the "thou must fit in OUR culture" mindset of certain types in America. They should not have to change their standards of modesty and expose themselves just to "fit in".

 

I didn't say they should. My point was that dressing in unusual clothing may have unintended consequences and will not likely help a woman if her goal is not to draw undue attention to herself. Obviously, some people do define modest behavior at least in part as that which does not attract attention to oneself, and your personal definition isn't necessarily anyone else's.

Edited September 12, 2009 by WordGirl

[BikeBookBread]

I'm surprised no one has posted this link yet: the Modesty Heart Check over at the Mahaney ladies' blog, girltalk. It's not so much about the WHAT or HOW, but the intention of your heart (although specifics are listed), and with the renewal of the heart will come behavior change. Here is a link to all of their posts tagged with "modesty".

 

The viewpoints on the blog are from a decidedly Christian POV. In one particular post, she distills it down to this:

 

...why do we make such a big deal about modesty?

Is it because we’re conservative or moral people? Is it because we have personal preferences about how women should dress?

 

 

 

No. The reason is the gospel. Modesty is important because of the gospel of Jesus Christ...

As a side note, while my husband and I am not within a faith community that encourages or even discusses head-covering let alone skirt length, I do wish the topic of modesty would be discussed more within the leadership of our church, as it is apparent that most of the women and young girls attending our large church have no clue...and I'm not talking about skirt length in inches as the issue, but the wearing of dresses, etc. to church that one might wear to a cocktail party. :001_huh:

Edited September 12, 2009 by BikeBookBread

[mommaduck]

I didn't say they should. My point was that dressing in unusual clothing may have unintended consequences and will not likely help a woman if her goal is not to draw undue attention to herself. Obviously, some people do define modest behavior at least in part as that which does not attract attention to oneself, and your personal definition isn't necessarily anyone else's.

 

Most of us that have dressed in "unusual clothing" are fully aware of this fact. And most of the "attention" I have received has been in the manner of men opening doors for me, saying "excuse me, ma'am" and "may I carry that for you"....things they are typically afraid of saying to or doing for most other women because they've been chewed out by women that, "can do it myself!" The negative attention I've received has only been by people that thought they needed to "change" me, because my dressing differently was, in their minds only, "dishonouring to Christ" (more like they took it personally because they had made other decisions).

[mommaduck]

It's not so much about the WHAT or HOW, but the intention of your heart

:iagree: THANK YOU!!!

[TravelingChris]

I don't know about modestly but I dress rather conservatively so I suppose I do dress modestly. I do wear shorts but they are not short shorts. Most of the year, I am more covered up than less since I have temperature regulation problems and am often colder than others.

[Orthodox6]

'

Edited September 13, 2009 by Orthodox6

[Philothea]

We're traditional Catholics and we follow the Mary-like standards of modesty in dress.

 

http://www.littleflowersfamilypress.com/standards.htm

[Moxie]

We're traditional Catholics and we follow the Mary-like standards of modesty in dress.

 

http://www.littleflowersfamilypress.com/standards.htm

 

 

Swimwear for women must at all costs be modest. The soul of another could be at stake! Due to the impure society in which we live, all public pools should not be used at all. Prefer instead to have your own swimming pool or swim at another Catholic family's pool. Even in the these conditions, modesty must be kept in check. Unfortunately, women will not find any appropriate swimwear in any store in any Western country. Some substitutes are biking shorts over which a skirt is placed extending to knee level. A loose top is added. Otherwise, one could simply wear a dark t-shirt and long shorts as a substitute. One could also do as I have personally done, simply discontinue swimming as a penance for the immodesty of others.

 

Oh dear. I consider myself a conservative Catholic but this is beyond me. If you and your family feel called to dress like this that is fine but I don't think Catholics need follow these standards to be modest or even Mary-like.

[Mrs Mungo]

You know, a bunch of Christian girls wanting to know about what guys think about modesty isn't "nuts". And I thought that the comments on that particular question showed that these guys aren't "nuts" either. These guys are talking about what are problems for THEM. Men see things through different eyes than women. I find it encouraging that there are even teenagers out there who are concerned about what guys think about modesty, especially in an age when most of them go around half dressed.

 

Let me explain. I think it's nuts when it is brought into a thread discussing women and their own sense of modesty. In fact, it's the sort of thing that solidifies my belief that much of this talk of "modesty" is *really* intended to keep women out of sports (many comments about that), out of the arts (comments about ballet, etc), etc. And it's very true than in a large portion of modest dressing communities women are required to keep traditional sex roles. That's not OK with me. That's why I'm not OK with this survey.

[justamouse]

You know, a bunch of Christian girls wanting to know about what guys think about modesty isn't "nuts". And I thought that the comments on that particular question showed that these guys aren't "nuts" either. These guys are talking about what are problems for THEM. Men see things through different eyes than women. I find it encouraging that there are even teenagers out there who are concerned about what guys think about modesty, especially in an age when most of them go around half dressed.

 

 

They are hormonal teenagers. EVERYTHING turns them on. That's the way they're supposed to be! Good for them, they have working parts.

 

Now, where's the girl's poll?

 

Personally, I find a bunch of guys lined up on the gridiron, bent over, immodest. All those jock straps you can see through their uniform. And what about speedos for swimmers? Those shark suits hide nothing.

 

Seriously-girls playing with their hair is a stumbling block? 0_o So we should all wear burquas? Thank god for women's lib. Cause if that slice ruled the world women would be in huge trouble.

Edited September 13, 2009 by justamouse

[sarawatsonim]

I don't know if it's appropriate for me to post a response on here since I am a newbie. But in all honesty I find this and interesting thread. I dress the way I like and don't worry whether it will or will not attract a mans attention. I love clothes, fashion, shopping. It makes my heart flutter to find a great bargain or the perfect pair of jeans. I don't believe that God will judge me because I like to leave the house feeling stylish and put together. I expect to be judged on the way I treat my family, others and myself. I put as much effort in my dd clothes as well and that does make me a less godly person. I am raising her to be kind, gentle, confident and a strong, lovely person. Clothes are my vice, I don't drink or smoke or party. I probably spend more money on books that I do clothes though. My goal is to have a in house library someday, one with a rolling ladder and a leather couch.....sigh.

 

To bring this to my point though, when I was super pregnant I was walking a mile to a from work each day. Everyday as I walked men would drive by and honk at me. I was basically waddling down the street and they still thought there was something to check out. Men are men and there is no way one can or can't dress that will change that. Sorry of I offend anyone, that is not my intent. I was just coming from another perspective.

[petepie2]

Let me explain. I think it's nuts when it is brought into a thread discussing women and their own sense of modesty. In fact, it's the sort of thing that solidifies my belief that much of this talk of "modesty" is *really* intended to keep women out of sports (many comments about that), out of the arts (comments about ballet, etc), etc. And it's very true than in a large portion of modest dressing communities women are required to keep traditional sex roles. That's not OK with me. That's why I'm not OK with this survey.

 

Oh, I see. It was "nuts" of ME to suggest others should check out a website where teenage girls were trying to get a "definition of modesty" from Christian guys in response to a thread entitled "Christian Modesty" that asked others for their "definition". And I'm sorry you solidly believe that most of the women and men who are concerned with modesty really just want women out of...well...everything.

[Erica in PA]

I consider myself to be modest, but sort of disagree with you about not using the world as our standard of measure. I think that the idea of modesty is really relative to our culture, and so you have to compare it to your culture to know what is considered modest and what is not. What you may consider very modest today, even as a very conservative Christian woman, most likely would have been considered quite immodest at the time when the Bible was written. That's why I don't think many hard and fast rules can be stated definitively as to what is acceptable and what is not... because *none* of us dress as they did back then.

 

For myself, I try to dress in ways that doesn't draw unnecessary attention to myself, sexual attention *and* otherwise-- that is modesty to me, and what Paul refers to when he talks about women/modesty in his letter to Timothy: "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." I always find it sort of curious when I talk to other Christian women who think it's *awful* to wear spaghetti straps, for example, and yet dress for church with lots of jewelry, fancy clothes, makeup, etc.-- things that definitely could attract a lot of attention. To me, that could be a more direct violation of Paul's teaching than wearing spaghetti straps would be! I think it's mostly about what is in your heart.. what are your motives in what you choose to wear, and are you seeking to honor God with the way you present yourself?

[BikeBookBread]

This absolutely "does not compute" ! I'm sure the writer has something to convey, but this Christian remains clueless as to what that might be !

 

Please feel free to explain. Thanks.

 

I didn't want to post the entire blog post from over at Girl Talk, (here's the bio page off of the Girl Talk blog so you understand who the author is...) but the gist is this: whatever a Christian does, says, eats, everything about a Christian should reflect positively so that the Gospel of Christ is advanced. Truly, I encourage you to read all of the corresponding posts, too, (please remember, this is part 7 of a 7 part series...) but here goes with the dreaded cut and paste:

 

 

 

Well, it’s time to conclude our two-week discussion on “Fashion and Following the Savior.†Your enthusiastic response to this generally unpopular topic is reflective of your love for Christ. So far, we’ve talked about the

attitude

of the modest woman and the

appearance

of the modest woman. Today we come to our final point: the

allegiance

of the modest woman.This final point gets to the question of

why do we make such a big deal about modesty?

Is it because we’re conservative or moral people? Is it because we have personal preferences about how women should dress?

 

No. The reason is the gospel. Modesty is important because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

That is why Paul is concerned about modesty and that is why we should be concerned about modesty as well. For when we take a broader look at 1 Timothy 2, we discover that these instructions about women’s dress are set in the context of the gospel.

 

1 Timothy 2:3-6 says,

 

“This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.â€

 

The gospel message is our motivation for modest dress. As my dad explains: “The woman who loves the Savior avoids immodesty because she doesn’t want to distract from or reflect poorly upon the gospel.†John Stott puts it like this: “Paul’s over-riding concern was that the way Christians deported themselves would not detract from but enhance their gospel mission.â€

 

We have a gospel mission: not only to preach Christ, but to live in a way consistent with our profession of faith. For how can we preach the good news of the transforming work of our Savior if our dress does not reflect His power at work in us?

 

May there be no contradiction between our gospel message and the clothes we wear. And may our modest dress be a witness to the One who gave Himself as a ransom for all.

 

That

is the big deal about modesty.