*CC* Do you ever feel like you don't fit in?

[Bess]

It seems we don't fit in with the liberal bunch because they would consider us way too conservative. But we can't win with the conservatives either because we are too liberal in certain areas. It makes me wonder (more on the conservative side) if people just start doing things to conform even if they are not convicted on a particular matter. Because it's tempting! Just to feel like we fit in with a certain group. We can't though... that just seems so wrong. But ugh, it gets lonely feeling out of both circles. :glare:

 

Perhaps everyone feels this way since no one believe the same way about every nuance of life. I don't know...

 

edited to say, when I say "conservatives" and "liberals", I'm not talking about politics!

Edited September 4, 2009 by Bess

[lionfamily1999]

Why just the conservative side?

 

I'm glad I'm not a drone either way. The handful of true friends I have love me for me, not for my voting or church attendance.

 

I think it's only when people make it an issue that it becomes an issue. IOW, unless we have to start wearing our beliefs in a list on our clothes, I can't imagine half of the distressing/argueable things coming up.

[Bess]

Why just the conservative side?

 

.

 

I guess because I find it more doubtful that people would give up their true convictions to fit in with the liberal side. I could see people more easily adding more rules, etc. to fit in with the conservatives. But I could be totally wrong. I guess maybe I'm biased in my perspective because I personally am more prone to adopt things for the sake of fitting in rather than the other.

[MamaT]

Yes, I could have written your post.

 

I would say we are very conservative about the things that are scriptural and involve heart issues.

 

Other things, like whether my kids dye their hair blue, get tattoos when they're old enough, etc., I leave up to them.

 

We have had some bad experiences with adults labeling my kids as "bad" because one has tattoos (my 23yo) and one has long hair (my 16yo).

 

I feel like we don't fit in any church and have actually been doing church at home for several months. I don't think this is ideal and am almost ready to get up the nerve to look for a new church home soon. I just don't want my family to be hurt/rejected again.

[Terabith]

You have just described the story of my life. We are always on the periphery. When we are in a more conservative group, we are the token liberals. And in more liberal minded groups, we're those crazy conservative people. Just don't belong, lol. Oh well. At least we have a toe in both worlds.

[Mrs Mungo]

I think a lot of people probably feel this way. Very few of us actually fit in the neat boxes that so many want to compartmentalize the world into.

[Harriet Vane]

You have just described the story of my life. We are always on the periphery. When we are in a more conservative group, we are the token liberals. And in more liberal minded groups, we're those crazy conservative people. Just don't belong, lol. Oh well. At least we have a toe in both worlds.

 

This is often how I feel. Funnily enough, we often agree about issues of doctrine but the way that plays out into real life is where we differ.

[Mom-ninja.]

If you can identify with more than one particular group then that means you're a well rounded person. :D

[Rhonda in TX]

I guess because I find it more doubtful that people would give up their true convictions to fit in with the liberal side. I could see people more easily adding more rules, etc. to fit in with the conservatives. But I could be totally wrong. I guess maybe I'm biased in my perspective because I personally am more prone to adopt things for the sake of fitting in rather than the other.

 

I'm very conservative and found that I find that I just can't talk to my more liberal friends about my convictions. I've gotten actual anger and disgust (from very good friends) in response to my church's position on topics. I actually would find more acceptance if I had more liberal leanings. I'm not giving up my convictions, but I find that I just keep my mouth shut in order to keep the peace. I have been tempted to go "more liberal" in order to find acceptance from my friends, just as you have been tempted to go "more conservative". It's very hard at times.

 

It goes both ways.

 

(and yes, I'm talk religiously, not politically)

Edited September 4, 2009 by Rhonda in TX
wasn't clear on my point

[Word Nerd]

Yes, I feel that way frequently.

[tricia]

All the time. AND I really don't care.:001_smile:

[kalanamak]

I

 

Perhaps everyone feels this way since no one believe the same way about every nuance of life.

 

 

Which is why I try to leave religion and politics out of my interactions with others. I think my folks felt they were the fundamental "don't ask, don't tell" topics.

[sunflowerlady]

Yes, I am conservative regarding my Christian religious views. In fact, I am more conservative and traditional in some areas than other Christians we know. Yet, I often see things regarding politics in a much different light and agree with the liberals (politically speaking).

 

There is an internal pressure to conform, but as I get older, I resist it. I just wish that we could go to church and hear God's Word preached without hearing about politics. That is not why I go to church.

 

I guess I am a moderate.:)

[Denise in Florida]

Yes, all the time.

 

We used to live in the southwest where I was considered medium conservative. Now we live in the south, where I am apparently wacky liberal. :lol: I just try for a live and let live perspective.

 

The hardest part is that I have a deep Christian faith that is very important to me (foundational to who I am) but I don't enjoy the company of most "Christians" in the area. I seem to end up hanging out non-religious types.

 

Fortunately I have found a small group of friends who love me as I am. :001_smile:

[hsmomto5]

I just wished you lived near me! Our pastor has tatoos:) We are 100% Biblical but we accept everyone. We are all about a relationship with Jesus not a set of rules concerning what we look llike. Some other churches in our area are not crazy about us. But we have grown to 6000 people and I think it is because we love people. Period. And Jesus loves us just the way we are.

I am sorry you feel isolated. I am very conservative in my political views and social views. I believe there are right and wrong issues and God will deal with that. But I could care less about someone's past or tatoos or different ways of thinking.

Lora in NC

[dangermom]

I think a lot of people probably feel this way. Very few of us actually fit in the neat boxes that so many want to compartmentalize the world into.

This is my experience. If you ask, so many people will say, "Oh, everyone else fits in but I'm kind of the oddball around here..."

[BigMamaBird]

I totally agree!

 

The older I get the more comfortable I feel with "being me." I used to feel like I needed to fit in, I don't feel like there's anywhere where I'm really accepted. But now it matters to me less.

[Moni]

no one believe the same way about every nuance of life

 

Exactly.

 

Fits....in...where ? ? :lol:

 

Even if you find some folks you "fit in perfectly with" it will be a farce, as eventually you will discover one little difference, and there you are on the outskirts again.... in good company though with 100% of all humans who all don't fit in anywhere either.

 

If no one fits in...where is this place that is supposed to be a fit?

It's a farce.:lol:

:seeya:

[mcconnellboys]

I know what you mean. I've felt that for years where I live. I just pulled out of groups and did my own thing for a while, continuing to offer advice, info, etc. all the while. As time went by, others continued to ask to join us. It's turned out that we always have some sort of group around us now, even though I don't seek that.

 

I think if you stick to your guns in being who YOU are - but are considerate of allowing others to be different from you - and if you can offer service to others via setting up field trips, occasionally teaching a short term class (2 weeks, 4 weeks, etc.), providing info, saving hs catalogs, etc. and offering them to newbies, offering info to new folks, etc., etc., then you will find that others come to respect you for who you are.

 

Increasingly where I live, homeschoolers are moving more toward being their own people, rather than lemmings. Perhaps it just takes a few folks who are stalwart in their beliefs to model appropriate behavior for them....

[stephanie78]

Yes, I could have written your post.

 

I would say we are very conservative about the things that are scriptural and involve heart issues.

 

Other things, like whether my kids dye their hair blue, get tattoos when they're old enough, etc., I leave up to them.

 

 

:iagree:This is our family to a "T". My son has multiple earrings, and my daughter had pink highlights in her hair for a while. We don't fit neatly into either category.

[Denisemomof4]

Yes, I could have written your post.

 

I would say we are very conservative about the things that are scriptural and involve heart issues.

 

Other things, like whether my kids dye their hair blue, get tattoos when they're old enough, etc., I leave up to them.

 

We have had some bad experiences with adults labeling my kids as "bad" because one has tattoos (my 23yo) and one has long hair (my 16yo).

 

I feel like we don't fit in any church and have actually been doing church at home for several months. I don't think this is ideal and am almost ready to get up the nerve to look for a new church home soon. I just don't want my family to be hurt/rejected again.

 

WOW, Tammy, I could have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO written your post!!! Well, I don't have a 23 yo, but other than that.....

 

I honestly can say that I accept everyone. If they are kind and respectful to me, I can make friends with just about anyone. BUT, in the Christian circles I find more judgmental onlookers than I've ever seen. I've also been hurt far more by "friends" since I've become a Christian.

 

What my kids have experienced, though, has really, really bothered me and I truly think that it has been the behavior of the pastor and his wife that was the final straw for my boys.

 

When we started our last church about 5 years ago, we walked in looking like the "perfect" Christian family, dressed properly, boys with short hair, girls wearing dresses, etc. The pastor complimented dh and I about how respectful our boys were, how they approached HIM to introduce themselves, etc. A year later the pastor said I had such a wonderful sense of humor and was such fun, would I consider being a part of the youth team. Sure, I love kids. He also said he wanted to use my oldest son and another wonderful kid in the church, someone my son had been friends with for numerous years, as role models for the youth. He really had such a high opinion of my son.

 

Well, a year or so after that, I was completely heartbroken as dh and I decided to put our kids in school. My poor son entered the public school system looking like the perfect little church goer, with trim hair, button up shirt, etc. He swore he wouldn't change who he was because of the kids in school and couldn't STAND how the kids looked.

 

Well, he walked into that school with a HUGE target on his back from day one because of his appearance. He made a few friends that first year but he discovered right away that his haircut would be a topic of endless taunting, so he started to let it grow out. Then he changed how he dressed to fit in more. The more he conformed PHYSICALLY to fit in, the more the pastor and his wife disowned him. It really hurt him. He was still the same, respectful, kind, wonderful kid on the inside but he changed on the outside. The pastor started to completely ignore him, even when he tried to talk to him. His wife made comments about "the youth these days" one too many times in my sons presence, criticizing their dress and naming everything she didn't like, the exact clothing my son was wearing. It made him feel terrible. My boys learned to hate church.

 

And then when the pastor publicly hurt me (long story) my sons were SO done. What the pastor did to me, personally, caused 80% of the church to leave, and almost every single family in that church called me to offer me their support. My kids watched me cry for months, all this after the loss of my father. It pretty much drove the knife further into their back.

 

My sons both turned their back on their faith. They said they've seen better behavior and more maturity in the public school kids than they've seen in the adults in the local church.

 

WOW.

 

So, now we do home church, with about 6 other families from the last church with many more from that church visiting. The pastor has gone on publicly bashing all of us who meet, calling us sinners. We meet 3 Saturdays per month, once at my house, and sometimes I worry about what we'll do if we continue to grow. Our group is SO cool, with some people who are DONE with church (that'd be our family! We may visit here and there, but that is IT! I've seen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much in church to be a part of it anymore!) others in church, others trying to find their way. We've been meeting for a year now and I can honestly say it is the most down to earth group of people I've ever known. We've all been friends for 4 - 5 years now but even in our own little group, we're still friends and not sick of each other.

 

My good friend has experienced the same as me. We both (her family and mine) were too sheltering, too over protective, stifled our kids. We've learned to loosen the reigns and our kids are happy. They're still the same kids. Her daughter - one doesn't wear her make-up appropriately or dress appropriately, and she's dressed better than others in our last church, but she was directly spoken to by the pastor, telling her how her daughter should and shouldn't this and that.

 

My younger son, 14, got a pierced ear. He couldn't believe his parents would let him. And they even wear some t-shirts with skulls on them. Oh horror of horrors! I'm sorry, it's JUST NOT IMPORTANT. They have been scarred by so many judgmental people and I just do NOT care what people think. Also, I can say this is definitely a season that will pass, so WHO CARES? My oldest son who has skull t-shirts and long hair was SO excited in May to get his FIRST SUIT. :D I'm just not going to force my beliefs on them and hope one day they'll appreciate that we allowed them freedom to be themselves, especially when they were publicly scorned for it IN THE CHURCH.

 

I hate how Christians judge by appearance. I also hate how some think they're superior, they're "more religious" than others. What's funny is that they don't even consider the attitude of their heart.

 

Sorry, OP, I do tend to get wordy sometimes. I understand what you're saying. I have experienced it at some churches. It's uncomfortable and it stinks. And it is NOT Christ honoring to be acting unloving and not allowing others into your clique.

 

You can breathe a sigh of relief - I'm done now! :D

Edited September 5, 2009 by Denisemomof4

[Tree House Academy]

Funny you should ask...I was stating to feel this way a few threads ago. LOL No really, I think that all people have different beliefs and different values. That doesn't make theirs WRONG and mine RIGHT (or vice versa), it just makes us different. Each walk with God is between God and that person.

[sweetbasil]

It seems we don't fit in with the liberal bunch because they would consider us way too conservative. But we can't win with the conservatives either because we are too liberal in certain areas. It makes me wonder (more on the conservative side) if people just start doing things to conform even if they are not convicted on a particular matter. Because it's tempting! Just to feel like we fit in with a certain group. We can't though... that just seems so wrong. But ugh, it gets lonely feeling out of both circles. :glare:

 

Perhaps everyone feels this way since no one believe the same way about every nuance of life. I don't know...

 

edited to say, when I say "conservatives" and "liberals", I'm not talking about politics!

 

Not long ago I read something that really struck me. To paraphrase, if the world felt like "home," if it felt perfectly lovely, we would fall in love with the world.

 

I agree with the PP who says that "fitting in" is a farce. Christ told us we would NOT fit in. The way is broad and all that. ;) He also promised us that we would have suffering. Not that we might, but that we WOULD.

 

God has a specific purpose for you and has given you your unique abilities and attributes in line with that purpose. If you're submitting yourself to Him, He will work out the details. Fitting in is not His goal for you! It's far more difficult and beautiful than that.

 

:grouphug:

[caitlinsmom]

Yes this is us to a tee. It makes life very lonely for me (a social butterfly when I am in the mood) and frustrating for dh (a homebody who like a couple close friends). We haven't had good close friends that we felt like we could be ourselves around in 10 years of marriage.

 

We are too weird for our conservative area since we homeschool, organic garden, drink raw milk, etc etc.

But we are way to conservative with the local hippy population. I feel like we are the only ones who walk the middle road and have found good on both sides of the extreme.

 

We have often talked about finding a place that had more like minded ideals (general life ideals not political or religious specifically) but honestly I don't think any one place would be a fix. So instead we are on are own, scaring all those around us who think we are nutso. :)

[swellmomma]

Yes.

[WTMCassandra]

Oh. My. Goodness.

 

I feel like this all the time. I could have written your post.

 

I don't have time to read the responses, but I want to assure you that you are not alone.

 

(My daughter is in the hospital this weekend, so I only have a minute. I'm hoping to rejoin your thread later.)

[sweetbasil]

We are too weird for our conservative area since we homeschool, organic garden, drink raw milk, etc etc.

 

See, I don't get that attitude from others. The things you listed there reflect conservative values. I think most people just don't feel comfortable branching out of the mainstream.

 

I see the listed attributes frequently in the Christian homeschool community (homebirthing, natural medicines, org. gardening, etc). I guess I will consider myself blessed in that regard - that I'm not the lone advocate amongst my friends for what look to me like perfectly sane and healthy choices.

[lwilliams1922]

Oh Gosh yes!

 

I'm the conservative liberal or the liberal conservative depending on who you ask. I have isuues fiiting in because spiritually I can fit a good fit then, as always politics come up and I slip out (emotionally and physically).

[Geo]

Yes, I could have written your post.

 

I would say we are very conservative about the things that are scriptural and involve heart issues.

 

Other things, like whether my kids dye their hair blue, get tattoos when they're old enough, etc., I leave up to them.

 

We have had some bad experiences with adults labeling my kids as "bad" because one has tattoos (my 23yo) and one has long hair (my 16yo).

 

I feel like we don't fit in any church and have actually been doing church at home for several months. I don't think this is ideal and am almost ready to get up the nerve to look for a new church home soon. I just don't want my family to be hurt/rejected again.

 

 

Same here...but add piercings. We actually house churched for 3 1/2 years when we moved here. We finally settled into a fellowship for the last 11 years, still a little difficult though.

 

Geo

[tdeveson]

I've gotten actual anger and disgust (from very good friends) in response to my church's position on topics.

 

I am a liberal and have some conservative friends. One of the things that annoys me about them (and I say this with respect -- I'm just describing my feelings, not suggesting that I'm right or wrong) is that my conservative Christian friends don't appear to have a single independent opinion or thought. Every opinion they voice, someone else fed them from the pulpit.

 

I love my conservative friends and freely acknowledge that it's much better to have both conservatives and liberals than just one or the other. But this need to obey and follow blindly the word of another man is disturbing. The fact that most of it was written two thousand years ago, and that the final product (the Bible) is a compilation of books that were picked over -- the "inconvenient" books tossed aside, doesn't seem to bother them at all.

 

I'm sure they have similar strange feelings about my view of the world. So far, we have managed to push all that stuff to the back and concentrate on the really important things. Our kids, our friendship.

 

I offer a glimpse into my feelings as a possible explanation of your friends' response, and it is in no way a judgment on your values or political leaning.

Edited September 5, 2009 by tdeveson

[tdeveson]

I see the listed attributes frequently in the Christian homeschool community (homebirthing, natural medicines, org. gardening, etc). I guess I will consider myself blessed in that regard - that I'm not the lone advocate amongst my friends for what look to me like perfectly sane and healthy choices.

 

These attributes are universal. I am politically liberal -- very much so, and so are the members of my homeschool community. I also had a home birth, grow my own organic food, homeschool my children. I think these are values that many of us share, regardless of political orientation.

[linders]

Although this has been much more of an issue since our recent move to a Southern state. Down here, various church affiliations are much more polarized than where we are from (we moved from the Northwest, where people seemed more embracing of a variety of religions). People seem more polarized on "issues" as well - so when I mention breast-feeding in public, eating organic, or environmental issues, I'm a raging liberal (to some), but when I mention stay-at-home mom, homeschooling, or church attendance, I'm a cloistered conservative (to others). Of course, then I refuse to sign homeschooling statements of faith - a matter of principle for me, who hates legalistic religion - and I'm back to being a raging liberal:001_smile:.

 

I wonder if there are some regional differences as far as being more tolerant or accepting of a range of beliefs? No, I don't want to start a S/O debating that!

[Impish]

Uh, remember me? The one who posted about wanting to be submissive to my husband, and the struggle I was facing, and the controversy that lil tidbit caused? And signing on to be a wife similar to those in the 30s? *clearing throat* Yeah, I'd say I don't fit in with the general population at all, nor with many Christians (around here irl anyways).

 

I'm somewhat a new Christian. I accepted Christ as a teen, but its only recently that I've really begun to begin walking with Christ. I've found that those that knew me before, some feel betrayed. I'd been raised to believe in psychics, reincarnation, etc. So becoming a Christian and truly walking the path (or trying to) upsets some of those I used to fit in with. Even my husband, who believes in Christ but isn't firmly walking the path is a bit taken aback. His mother was/is an SDA fanatic, so he's a bit concerned that I'll become a fanatic, or in his words, "Go nuts" :lol:

[Bess]

If you can identify with more than one particular group then that means you're a well rounded person. :D

 

Hmm, I like this! It makes me feel better. :D

[MamaT]

Same here...but add piercings. We actually house churched for 3 1/2 years when we moved here. We finally settled into a fellowship for the last 11 years, still a little difficult though.

 

Geo

 

Oh, yes, mine have piercings as well! It's hard to list ALL the things people tend to judge on the outside. :001_smile:

[lionfamily1999]

I'm very conservative and found that I find that I just can't talk to my more liberal friends about my convictions. I've gotten actual anger and disgust (from very good friends) in response to my church's position on topics. I actually would find more acceptance if I had more liberal leanings. I'm not giving up my convictions, but I find that I just keep my mouth shut in order to keep the peace. I have been tempted to go "more liberal" in order to find acceptance from my friends, just as you have been tempted to go "more conservative". It's very hard at times.

 

It goes both ways.

 

(and yes, I'm talk religiously, not politically)

Rhonda, I've found much the same thing. Including the following quote, accusing me of walking lockstep without asking, looking around or considering. Interestingly, I've found it both due to my religious convictions (Christian) and my original political stance (Republican).

I am a liberal and have some conservative friends. One of the things that annoys me about them (and I say this with respect -- I'm just describing my feelings, not suggesting that I'm right or wrong) is that my conservative Christian friends don't appear to have a single independent opinion or thought. Every opinion they voice, someone else fed them from the pulpit.

 

I love my conservative friends and freely acknowledge that it's much better to have both conservatives and liberals than just one or the other. But this need to obey and follow blindly the word of another man is disturbing. The fact that most of it was written two thousand years ago, and that the final product (the Bible) is a compilation of books that were picked over -- the "inconvenient" books tossed aside, doesn't seem to bother them at all.

 

I'm sure they have similar strange feelings about my view of the world. So far, we have managed to push all that stuff to the back and concentrate on the really important things. Our kids, our friendship.

 

I offer a glimpse into my feelings as a possible explanation of your friends' response, and it is in no way a judgment on your values or political leaning.

It's funny, because it looks that way from the other direction too. Perhaps, if we better understood that we both (both groups conservative/liberal, etc) appear the same way to each other, we could be more understanding? I've heard my sister (liberal) and her views and thought much the same thing you've stated (she must've just gotten her talking points from the heads this morning). Actual discussion can banish this line of thinking, for the most part. There are those, on any side, that blindly follow, but they are not nearly the majority.

Uh, remember me? The one who posted about wanting to be submissive to my husband, and the struggle I was facing, and the controversy that lil tidbit caused? And signing on to be a wife similar to those in the 30s? *clearing throat* Yeah, I'd say I don't fit in with the general population at all, nor with many Christians (around here irl anyways).

 

I'm somewhat a new Christian. I accepted Christ as a teen, but its only recently that I've really begun to begin walking with Christ. I've found that those that knew me before, some feel betrayed. I'd been raised to believe in psychics, reincarnation, etc. So becoming a Christian and truly walking the path (or trying to) upsets some of those I used to fit in with. Even my husband, who believes in Christ but isn't firmly walking the path is a bit taken aback. His mother was/is an SDA fanatic, so he's a bit concerned that I'll become a fanatic, or in his words, "Go nuts" :lol:

 

:grouphug: Dh is worried about me too. Lol, I was just baptized anew on Sunday and my story is very very very much like your own ;)

[Geo]

.

Edited April 30, 2010 by Geo

[PineFarmMom]

Constantly!! I don't know the answer...I just know when it goes too far with me, I wind up being legalistic rather than just loving Christ and following HIM!!

 

My ds likes rock music and plays the electric guitar like a pro. My 14yo dd loves fashion, make-up, jewelry... Sometimes I feel scrutinized and judged for "allowing" that. Sometimes I realize I'm judging myself and trying to find a "set of rules" for them and for myself is like trying to nail jello to the wall!!! Then I lay it all down, turn back to the cross and let Christ be central again!!

[lllll]

...

[Hockey Mom]

I just wished you lived near me! Our pastor has tatoos:) We are 100% Biblical but we accept everyone. We are all about a relationship with Jesus not a set of rules concerning what we look llike. Some other churches in our area are not crazy about us. But we have grown to 6000 people and I think it is because we love people. Period. And Jesus loves us just the way we are.

I am sorry you feel isolated. I am very conservative in my political views and social views. I believe there are right and wrong issues and God will deal with that. But I could care less about someone's past or tatoos or different ways of thinking.

Lora in NC

 

Our pastor doesn't have any tattoos (that I'm aware of!), but this describes our church. We love all people regardless of where they are in live. We have tattoo'd people, goth-looking people, conservative-looking people, etc.

 

Funny thing...I have a very pretty flower band tattoo on my left arm. I used to be so proud of it. I'm fair skinned, so the colors are as vibrant today as they were 13 years ago when I got it. But because of some snarky comments made about it YEARS ago when we attended a different church, I always cover it up now. I don't even wear sun-dresses without a sweater now, for fear of being judged harshly. And it's so silly because the people around me would think nothing of it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just so you know, this thread is from Sept. of 2009 (not that these feelings have a time limit).

[Guest Cindie2dds]

.

Edited April 30, 2010 by Cindie2dds

[Teachin'Mine]

.

[AuntPol]

I don't fit in either group that well either. I find that, with the exception of Creationism, my conservative friends are more tolerant in areas where I differ. IN even in that area, I have never lost a friend because I differed in opinion. I have lost friendships with many a liberal for disagreeing.

 

But the thing that polarizes me most -not being a fan of Twilight

[lionfamily1999]

I don't fit in either group that well either. I find that, with the exception of Creationism, my conservative friends are more tolerant in areas where I differ. IN even in that area, I have never lost a friend because I differed in opinion. I have lost friendships with many a liberal for disagreeing.

 

But the thing that polarizes me most -not being a fan of Twilight

We should start our own "No Sparklies for Us" group :lol:

[J-rap]

***

Edited February 18, 2023 by J-rap

[onlyme]

Oh, yes, mine have piercings as well! It's hard to list ALL the things people tend to judge on the outside. :001_smile:

 

Well, piercings are not usual these days, are they.

 

I guess the main thing is for them not to be 'over the top'.

[bearnpurple]

We are more on the "conservative" side.....My closests "friends" which are very few.....are the ones with the closests convictions/views/opinions as ours. We have friends in every situation that don't necessarily believe as we do but that doesn't mean they are friends that we spend endless hours with......I keep my thoughts to myself unless specifically asked and then I do it in a "Be ye kind" manner. I try to not argue or contradict....just tell them this is what we do/believe. If they get upset, I just say "you asked". If they get nasty, they were not really wanting to be your friend anyway.

 

My girls and I don't wear pants/shorts or short skirts except during tumbling class (which can cause eyebrow raising); we only listen to Christian and classical music (not christian rock) but because my girls take ballet and tap they do have other music they listen to (which can cause eyebrow raising). See why we don't fit it.....they are either watching and judging or ignoring because "we don't get it". ugh!

 

Just a thought......Jesus didn't have a crew of friends either.....I know friendships help us get through situations but friendships can also hinder us.....Sometimes it is just easier to say it is something I will have to answer to Jesus someday and not my peers. Sometimes I have to check myself in the "peer-pressure" thing just like I tell my kids to....ha ha ha ha

 

okay....I'll be quiet now.... :)

Edited May 1, 2010 by bearnpurple