Just got back from a HUGE birthday party...is it just me????

[BikeBookBread]

Am I a killjoy? Does anyone else think that 40 kids (each toting one present or even more) is an INSANE number of children and gifts for a birthday party? The little girl was turning five. She had more toys on that gift table that my girls have combined in their possession. I wouldn't even know what to do with that much stuff!!!

 

I understand a parent's desire to want to make their child feel super special on their birthday but 40 kids??? And who is to say all the invitees even came? Did she get MORE presents that didn't show up at the party? And what kind of an expectation is that child being fed by her parents? Every year? Bigger, better? AACK!!!!!:willy_nilly::willy_nilly::willy_nilly:Oh, also, there was a THRONE for the birthday girl to sit on while opening gifts. Whatever happened to cake and pin the tail on the donkey in the backyard? BTW, the party was at a "venue".

 

I felt overwhelmed, and NOT wanting to keep up with the Joneses when I walked out of there with my Princess Duckie Girl. She walked away with a HUGE goodie bag filled with candy and a white-erase type Princess board. (That would've been a gift for the birthday girl herself when I was a child!) So far, I haven't heard anything from PDG about her expectations for her next party (this year we had to cancel both girls' non-family parties due to one sickness after another, so I'm sure we'll be doing them this year).

 

Our rule for non-family parties (the years we even have them) are one guest for each year your are turning, not including sister. Seriously? Am I just crazy?

 

Who here thinks the more the merrier? I'd like to hear some perspectives.:party:

Edited August 24, 2009 by BikeBookBread

[newlifemom]

I've been to big parties before, but it was more of a family/friends get together to celebrate life. There may have been 50 people there, but the 50 people were, aunts, uncles, friends of the parents and their kids. It was more an excuse to have a get together. The b-day child rcvd maybe 10-15 presents total. Still more than I ever rcvd, but not 40.

 

ITA that is is setting this child up for a sense of entitlement.

 

Sad really. :001_huh:

[Guest janainaz]

I think it's a bit insane. I can see inviting 40 children (would never DO it, but I can see someone else doing it) - but it would seem appropriate to make a request that no gifts be brought. Seriously, that is unhealthy.

 

I like intimate celebrations at birthday's with people I know and love. There is something sweet and sentimental about that - a true heartfelt memory. I love making my kids a homemade cake - so desperately ugly - but the sentiment is there.

[Joy at Home]

Ugh, better you than me. I really can't stand big, overblown kids parties. My dds don't have parties, but we invite immediate family over for cake. Each dd gets to pick something special to do for their day (dinner with mom and dad, movies, etc). I want it to be intimate, special.

 

I would hope that her parents would consider having dd donate one or two toys to a shelter or other worthy place. No kid needs that many toys.

 

Blessings,

lisa

[Hillary in KS]

We have parties occasionally, and always request "no gifts." Many people think we are nuts for this, but the dc don't need more toys. The party is just a way to celebrate with friends.

 

We also keep the party simple: no venue, no huge entertainment. It's pretty much cake and punch, some games, and lots of play time. :)

[Tutor]

We just got back from a birthday party for a friend of ours who turned 8. There were probably 30 kids there from 10 different families. Guests ranged in age from 0-70. There was an average of one gift per family and very appropriate to the child's personality. It was one of the best birthday parties I have ever been to. The family set up a little carnival in the yard. Mom is an artist and had some some special "extras" (like a couple of those pictures of people with the faces cut out so everyone could get their pics taken), but most of the games were made by the 8yo and her siblings (the 8yo is the oldest), and everyone at the party pitched in once we arrived.

 

For our own kids, we have pretty involved parties until they hit double digits. After double digits, we allow each child to invite one friend to go out with us for supper or a movie. We request no gifts or charitable donations for both parties and dinners. We are planning special celebrations as "coming of age parties" when each child turns 13 (although we may delay this until 16 to coincide with the receipt of a driver's license)... kind of an entry into young adult-hood.

[hsmom27]

I can see the 40 kids. I have twins that have very different friends, so we often have too many kids. However, we only have backyard parties anymore, so that cuts expense. We don't want the boys to get a bunch of space taking toys either. So now in the invites I ask people who would like to do something for them to donate to autism assistance/research. I've actually gotten quite a few positive remarks about that from people. And people will tell the boys they donated and the boys feel good about helping (in a round about way).

[i.love.lucy]

I don't even know how the kid would even have 40 friends!!!:001_huh: Myy son is turning 5 next week and I was going to scramble to scrounge up 10 kids for a party, and even then most of those were siblings of the kid he liked. He has never been in preschool. He's also the youngest of my homeschooled friends kids, so trying to plan a birthday that can make everyone happy was making me nuts. And then there's the expense! Those jumpy places are about $10/kid, then you have cake, food, goodie bags, decorations. Why not save the money and take them shopping to get what they really want?!

 

We've decided to meet one friend's family at Chuck E Cheese because we've never been and he's always wanted to go. He only cares about this one friend anyways, so they will have a blast together. The night before that we will go to grandma's and have a family dinner and let him open his presents.

 

My dd turned 9 this year and we had an awkward pool party mixing new homeschooled friends with her old ps friends. We won't do that again and will simply encourage her to pick 2 girlfriends and go to a movie or something.

[Pretty in Pink]

We've done a hanful of birthday "parties" over the years that included a short list of playmates, cake and ice cream. Most of the time we have birthday "celebrations" which are just us and the kids. We make a grand to-do for the birthday boy and make the afternoon and evening a fun time of games, favorite foods, and a few gifts and handmade trinkets. My 6yo just had a birthday and he thought he was very lucky because we ordered pizza, had homemade cake, and played Playstation bowling with Daddy! LOL

 

I have a friend with six kids. Their birthdays are all clumped together in a two-month span. She has huge, overblown, seperate parties for each kid. It is insane! She rents bouncy houses and inflatable slides for the littles, buys two birthday cakes, plus steak and wine for the entire block and half of her children's classmates! Their parties are adults and kids and go on well into the night.

[Amy+2]

I always thought rule of thumb was number of kids invited per number/age of birthday. Turn 5 years old, 5 kids get invited. Simple as that.;)

[BikeBookBread]

I do want to make one thing clear...I'm NOT judging these parents. I just don't understand it. My dh and and I have just been on this huge downsize kick: downsizing our TV, belongings, pantry, stuff in general. We also came from small reserved families. Mine is a bit more outgoing than his, and birthdays were important, but low key. I think some families just love the bigness of it all!

 

I also tend to be a leeetle bit judgmental (forgive me Lord...I'm not kidding about that) and can skew towards self-righteousness, preaching and legalism.

 

Finally, I was very, very thankful that PDG was invited to a birthday party -- she gets so few invitations, so it was a treat for her!

[QueenCat]

It all depends.... I've had huge parties for my kids when they were little. I didn't want the large number of gifts but I didn't want to leave any child out. I've been hurt as a child to not be invited to a party, and never want to that to a child. I invited everyone in the class when they were in preschool/early elementary (pre-homeschooling days). Plus all the neighborhood kids and kids of my friends. It's hard to invite one child from a group, and not another. For me, it was about friends and inclusion.

 

To clarify... we had tons of kids but the parties were simple. For the June b/day boy, water gun fights, water balloons, etc. All in the back yard. Simple, homemade carnival games are fun. It doesn't have to be expensive. I just can't stand to see kids left out. Been there for myself as a child, and seen my kids left out. It hurts!

Edited August 24, 2009 by CathieC
to clarify

[Lovedtodeath]

We don't celebrate birthdays but we do have a party just to have fun and feel special. Of course, the guests don't bring gifts unless it is an exchange type thing set up. We went all out and had costumes and a pony... totally worth it. 40 guests that bring gifts? too much.

[jujsky]

40 kids....yeah, that does sound like a bit much. That being said, we did go all-out for their 5th b-days because that's a big one. For DS's b-day, we had a traveling wild animal show come to the house. It was educational and really FUN! I think he had 12 or 13 kids there. DD is having her 5th b-day in a few weeks. She had her heart set on a High School Musical party, but our house is under renovation right now. We decided to have it at her dance studio, which is going to end up costing less than the animal show for DS's party last year. She's really into dance, most of her friends are from her dance class, so it's really the perfect thing for her. We're having 9 or 10 kids.

 

I used to have the same view of having parties at a venue that I'm gleaning from the OP. I've been to a lot of them though, and I can kind of see the point. Some of my friends are told that if b-day parties are given out at school, ALL of the kids need to be invited. I think that's silly, and I would never abide by that rule, but for those that do, they're looking at inviting a minimum of 20 kids (plus the friends that child has outside the classroom). There is no way I would want to have that many kids in my house. It's not realistic.

[Desert Rat]

Well, for our boys' 5th birthdays we took them to Disneyland! Last year we did rent one of those bouncy places out but we invited all of ds9 friends (maybe 8) and then included all the siblings. Here, you pay one price for up to 25 kids. So, we figured, why not? The sibs loved being included; all the parents stayed; our families came to watch. It was a blast. This year though, he got dinner and a movie with family.

[Mrs Mungo]

We're military. The collection of friends we gather at a given duty station is our family. We tend to have big, family parties. All the parents usually stay, etc. There are tons of kids (all ages) and people there because that's what we've got instead of family. But, we do normal party games and the kids tend to get a normal amount of presents. I guess I'm not sure if you're actually talking about the number of people at a party or huge, over-the-top, lavish parties. We have lots of people but they are pretty normal parties other than that.

[TCoppock]

When DS turned a year DH, at the time, insisted on a HUGE birthday party. It was his first and last one. I was so stressed out and he was exhausted and over-stimulated. I think it's more special spending time with those you are closest to not everyone you ever met. I feel the same about enormous weddings. DS has had a few class parties when he was in private school but those became very large because people felt it was ok to bring other children, cousins, neighbors, etc. :confused: We now have family only parties and DS gets to pick a special place for the immediate family to have a weekend vacation in September. (his birthday is in August but I refuse to vacation during the summer months) DS doesn't have any close friends so he loves this idea.

[lilbean05]

My thought is that they invited all of her preschool class, all of her ballet class, and all of her sunday school class (or something like that). They probably had some friends from each group that they wanted to invite, but didn't want to exclude anyone else in the class.

 

I have ALSO heard that lots of schools have a rule that says if you had out party invitations at school, you must hand them out to everyone in the class so no one is left out. You can mail them to just a few people, but no passing out in class allowed unless everyone is invited.

 

Maybe this is what happened and that poor mom was thinking, as the people were pouring in "What did I do?!!? What are we going to do with all of this STUFF!!" Hahah!

[cougarmom4]

I always try to bribe my kids out of the party...instead of spending x amount on a party, you can take it and buy that cool lego set. If they don't go for that, I still tell them the budget and have them help figure out how to spend it. My ds12 wanted to go to laser-tag last month...it cost $15 a kid...he decided he'd rather have a few friends over to play night games and watch a movie. He chose the treats (I listed how much they'd cost each so he could plan it out) and a favor...we went shopping...and he got the rest of the money. My dd10 on the other hand didn't care about the money...she just wanted to invite as many friends as she could.

 

I have a friend who only has a party when her kids turn 5 and 10. I kinda wish I had heard about this earlier in our parenthood! It's too late to change now...because it wouldn't be fair...(I can hear it now...).

[elegantlion]

When ds was little we did big parties. but we were broke and frugal so there was no throne. :tongue_smilie:One year we invited families, not just kids and there were a lot of people crammed into our 1100 sf house, so I could see the number of kids/people. but gifts were brought per family, not per kid so they weren't piled too high.

 

My ds has outgrown the need for a huge party and now we generally do a family party.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

My last big party was my daughters in K and I was way stressed since I had to invite the whole class. The last two parties with firend only had 9 girls each time. My son had a sort of big 5 yo birthday but then again all of my friends have 3 plus children and every sibling from newborn to teenager.

I like it when it's just imediate family or close/good friends. Our family is over 1300 miles away so it's usually just us and a few friends.

[Jumping In Puddles]

I love small parties but I can't seem to be able to throw one. I can't leave out the neighbors, their cousins, grandparents and the few friends that they want to invite. It always turns out to be about 20 kids and 15 adults and sometimes more! ARRRG! I would love for my kids to have 3 or 4 friends over for a little party but I don't know how to do that without hurting feelings. :confused:

 

I tried requesting no gifts, people bring them anyway. :glare:

 

I have a BIG pile of presents in our closet that will go to toys for tots this year. We did this last year too. When the kids receive a present they already have or they don't like, we put it in the pile and the kids LOVE to put the gifts under the Toys For Tots tree at Christmastime. :)

[lynn]

I don't think we even would know 40 kids to invite. Maybe 7 or 8 but not 40.

[Garga]

I just sent out 16 invitations for my son's 7th b-day party. The invitations include the whole family, so it won't be 40 kids, but there will be at least 40 people there.

 

We're having it at the local park. The "games" will be that the kids can splash in the creek. I'm grilling hot dogs.

 

We did this last year and it was a blast. I LOVE a big party.

 

It's totally not about the presents. It's about all the kids having a blast running through the park and the parents chit-chatting. It's about hot dogs and cake and the craziness of all the people gathered under a pavilion.

 

For us, it's not meant to be indulgent to the child. It's just meant to be a lot of fun and noise and laughter.

[Guest LisaB]

Doesn't anyone else require their kids to write thank you notes? As soon as my kids learn to write, I require them to write thank you notes whenever they receive a gift from someone.

 

My ds just had his 6th yo birthday party and it took him a week to write thank you notes to all 6 of his little friends.

 

I pity the 5 year old who has to write 40 thank you notes!

 

LisaB

[ChristusG]

We do not even know that many kids! I do not mind big expensive birthdays (whatever floats their boat) but we do not have the money to do something like that. I try to make a really nice themed party based on the money we can handle. I love planning themed parties for my kids. We've had Dora, Pirates, Zoo, Mickey Mouse, Webkinz, Happy Feet, etc.

[TraceyS/FL]

Our parties have always been family parties. They obviously got smaller when we moved, but i haven't heard any complaints from the kids at all. They get to do what they want - this year the grandparents took them to the Disney Park of their choice, but they get to pick what/where they want to eat.

 

They also asked for homemade cakes this year which was a nice cost savings.

 

But this lets them stand more of a chance of getting what they want for their birthday too. I'd much rather spend $70 on them than on pizza and goodie bag stuff.

[Stacy in NJ]

That said, some folks have lots of friends and like to do things in a big way. That's their business. I'm usually grateful for the invitation, and try not to focus on how other people choose to celebrate.

[ladydusk]

I'm not sure my soon to be 5 year old *knows* 40 other kids her age! She has a list of 8 she'd like to invite, we're going to try to pare that down to 6, but would love to do # of children by age ...

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

We have only had informal, family only birthday parties for ds at home. Yes I think it is over the top to have lavish parties like that. In the future, we may invite a couple of friends but that is it.

 

I also heard of one great idea in stead of gifts is to have each kid bring a wrapped book and do a book exchange with all of the kids. Or I like the idea of collect food for a food pantry instead of gifts.

[chiguirre]

For a non-hsed 5yo, it's not that hard to accumulate that many kids you 'have' to invite. Some schools won't let you hand out invitations unless the whole class is invited and that can easily be 20-25 kids in some preschools. My dd's Montessori preschool had even more kids in a room with 2 teachers. Then there's the soccer team and ballet class. You can't invite just one kid if the other parents might be offended because at that age they have playmates more than friends.

 

We've never had bday parties for our kids because the logistics of dealing with 2 autistic kids and coordinating a kids' party is just beyond our capability. I do let the kids go to any party they're invited to and make sure to get a nice gift (both money and thought wise) to show my appreciation to the mom for organizing the shindig. It's a lot of work, even at a venue!

[dcjlkplus3]

We have parties every year for each of our kids birthdays, at our house/backyard and at friends when we lived in a small condo. We always have a lot of people, but they are all family and close friends, several of whom have multiple kids. Same as other people - a normal amount of presents (1 non-extravegant present from each family). I never ask for no gifts, because I don't like getting invitations that say that. I feel that if I want to give a gift, I should be able to do so (gift-giving is one of the top love languages fro both me and dh).

[swellmomma]

That is Insane! We went to my nephew's 1st birthday in May, there was 60 people, my sister rented a jumpy castle (my kids were the oldest, all the rest of the kids were age 2 and under, the majority were just turning 1- who on earth needs a jumpy castle). Now while there was lots of kids, most of the people were adults and so it was run like an adult party (alcohol was served etc). I thought that was crazy.

 

I have not done a proper birthday party for my kids in years. The last time was 4 years ago when they were still in os. We had the rule 1 kids per year old. NO one rsvp'd to dd's party, of the 2 that did arrive 1 complained the whole time and ruined it. This would be the party I made individual cakes for each guest, and spent a fair amount of money to make her princess party great. SInce then we skip parties, do something special as a family and then get together with extended family for dinner/cake/gifts and they can invite 1 good friend to join us.

 

The exception to that is ds5, my cousin is 1 year older than him and they are good friends, and if we invite the 1 cousin we have to invite his little sister who is 2 and becoming friends with Isabelle. SO we tend to combine the 2 boys birthdays and invite the cousins plus 1 good friend each so it is a bigger group. PLUS even when I did real parties, it was never before age 5. The 5th birthday was their first group birthday party.

 

I can't stand to see birthdays turn into gift grabs. It is supposed to be a day to celebrate the child, not the toys. This year I decided to book the adventure bus I had already been planning to book on ds's birthday (this friday actually). HE will get to have a fun activity with lots of friends, but no gifts since it is not an actual birthday party. We are supplying cupcakes after the bus for snack, but again since it is not a birthday party I have no extra pressure, or need for goodies bags etc.

[QueenCat]

The only thing I didn't like about our large parties (biggest had 24 kids) was the overabundance of gifts. And the time it took us to write the thank yous! I'll never regret not leaving kids out since I knew kids talked about their parties in school (this was pre-homeschooling). Even now, it's hard to see my 17 year old left out of parties (he has special needs and is often left out).

[justamouse]

I just sent out 16 invitations for my son's 7th b-day party. The invitations include the whole family, so it won't be 40 kids, but there will be at least 40 people there.

 

We're having it at the local park. The "games" will be that the kids can splash in the creek. I'm grilling hot dogs.

 

We did this last year and it was a blast. I LOVE a big party.

 

It's totally not about the presents. It's about all the kids having a blast running through the park and the parents chit-chatting. It's about hot dogs and cake and the craziness of all the people gathered under a pavilion.

 

For us, it's not meant to be indulgent to the child. It's just meant to be a lot of fun and noise and laughter.

 

This is us. I have 7 birthdays in January and two birthdays the week before Christmas. We used to throw one HUGE ginormous family party at the end of January and we all loved it. Then I have one straggler in August and we did a blowout for him, too.

 

Both Dh and I have huge families and parties easily go over 40 people, not to mention friends. Our families love our parties, but the last few years we haven't been able to have them because the size of our house. We're moving to a bigger house and we all can't wait to have huge blowout parties again. We miss the hospitality, the love, the friendship and laughter. It's an awesome chaos.

[Guest sarathan]

I'm with the OP, that party sounds totally out of control. Way over the top. Btw, what do mean when you say it was at a "venue"?

[mom2denj]

We have parties occasionally, and always request "no gifts." Many people think we are nuts for this, but the dc don't need more toys. The party is just a way to celebrate with friends.

 

We also keep the party simple: no venue, no huge entertainment. It's pretty much cake and punch, some games, and lots of play time. :)

 

I have done this and ask for books only!:)

[staceyobu]

My thought is that they invited all of her preschool class, all of her ballet class, and all of her sunday school class (or something like that). They probably had some friends from each group that they wanted to invite, but didn't want to exclude anyone else in the class.

 

I have ALSO heard that lots of schools have a rule that says if you had out party invitations at school, you must hand them out to everyone in the class so no one is left out. You can mail them to just a few people, but no passing out in class allowed unless everyone is invited.

 

Maybe this is what happened and that poor mom was thinking, as the people were pouring in "What did I do?!!? What are we going to do with all of this STUFF!!" Hahah!

 

I wondered this too. I hate figuring out who to invite to things like birthday parties. I don't want anyone to feel they were left out, but I don't want anyone to feel like I'm just inviting them for a gift, either. I requested "no gifts" for DD's four year old party. Everyone still brought a gift, though. Losers! :tongue_smilie:

 

We never put on a big show for anyone, though. Mostly just time for everyone to hang out and play!

[BikeBookBread]

I'm with the OP, that party sounds totally out of control. Way over the top. Btw, what do mean when you say it was at a "venue"?

 

They rented a professionally-run play area/party zone type place...I don't want to be too specific. With this many invitees, it was probably more cost-effective let alone easier than to have a party at home.

Edited August 24, 2009 by BikeBookBread

[kalanamak]

And the junk that is given! Ugh. I recall with pride the birthday party where the girl got 20 things about a pink pony whose mane you can comb, and some K'nex from me. Mine was the only gift everyone didn't oooh and ahhh over. Guess what she and little sis were playing with when we left?:D

[Mom2boys]

We just hosted my son's 8th birthday party over the weekend. We had cake and games in the backyard. There were 11 guests, but they represented five families, so there were five presents. The kids all seemed to have a great time, and my son had a blast.

 

A friend of mine lives in an affluent suburb of Chicago. The parties there are truly outrageous - just like the one the original poster described. If my friend tried to host a party like I did, just simple games in the backyard with no inflatables or hired performers, I think her guests would complain, and the parents would be annoyed. There is a lot of pressure to keep up with the Joneses where she lives.

[BabyBre]

Dc are in public school and even these kids have rediculous birthday parties by my standards. The current trend is to invite the entire class, 25-30 kids. Not a chance!

 

My biggest pet peeve is the goodie bags. I'm not keen on sending out baggies of cheap Chinese crap (who needs more of that?), but you certainly can't fill them economically with anything else. Besides, it's my kid's birthday, not everyone else's! They get a nice "Thank you" in exchange for their gift and/or attendance, not to mention a great time on my bill.

 

Kids are spoiled these days, but I'm going to reverse the trend at least in my kids' peer circles. Other parents see that I don't do all the fanfare and are encouraged and relieved to have support in telling their little masters and princesses that they'll be having a more modest celebration.

[BikeBookBread]

I went to bed feeling awful about even starting this thread...:blink: I was really judgmental in my mind of this family, even though I said I wasn't :(

 

I believe some more recent posters are probably right about the size -- some schools require all or none (she does go to school), her family is very plugged-in at church and the community. They just know a LOT of people, and probably would feel awful limiting. We have a smaller circle of good friends, and more acquaintances, but tend to invite good friends to things.

 

But I still think 40 presents is too many, I couldn't stand the throne thing, and the goodie bags/white board were too much. AAACK -- I'm doing it again! AAACK AAACK!

SO NOW LET ME ASK THIS:

 

To those of you who do not HOST birthday parties, do you let your kids go to them? I've intentionally held back invites from my girls (they never knew they were invited) from children they hardly knew (pre-k classmates whose parents I had never even met, and the kids PDG never even mentioned).

Edited August 24, 2009 by BikeBookBread

[vkay]

This is a party: :party:

 

 

 

 

This is crazy: :party::party::party:

:party::party::party::party:

[emzhengjiu]

We love big, noisy, fun parties to celebrate anything, especially birthdays! I especially enjoy birthday parties that include adults with adult food and drink. Maybe it's the Hispanic influence around us. We have been invited to children's birthday parties that have gone on into the night. Great fun. But all these parties have been in homes or at parks not at expensive venues. My 9yo dd's last party was an exception for us. It was a very small ice skating party. I couldn't afford to invite all her friends who would bring their friends, their cousins etc. Usually, people in our area feel free to bring extra people along with them to a party. If the party is in our home, I don't mind. Actually, I do mind but have learned to "go with the flow" on this particular issue since I can't change it.

 

I don't like the competitiveness that I've seen among a few families we know to out do each other with expensive parties and gifts. I don't have the money or the interest to compete. But kids enjoy our parties as much as the more expensive ones. We had a very full house for the last birthday party we had at home. The kids stayed long after the party officially ended playing and having a great time. I was exhausted the next day but it was worth it. Most of my expense was food. The games and party crafts were cheap. My daughter received several gifts but not one per guest. Usually, one family brings a single gift. Fine with me since we do the same.

 

edited to add, I no longer give goodie bags. They're filled with junk and are too expensive. My gifts to my guests, children or adults, are good food and a lot of fun. We probably had over 40 people at our last at home party.

 

Judy

Edited August 24, 2009 by emzhengjiu

[In the Rain]

I would never invite so many children, but I wouldn't judge anyone who did.

 

One of my best friends never wants to exclude anyone. I could see her ending up with such a huge party, and she has come close. There were too many presents for the child to maintain interest in opening them all. After it was over, she was distressed over how to get them all in the car and where to store them all. :lol: It wasn't about getting lots of gifts- it was about having every child feel included.

[Danestress]

even though I wouldn't choose to have 40 people to a party. We don't do parties every year, and when we do, they tend to be more modest, though I have had them get too large because I want to include any and everyone who might have hurt feelings if they aren't included. I prefer "dinner and a movie with two close friends" type evenings for my kids.

 

But I think it's great for someone who LIKES large parties to have one. Why not? I don't think that 'more the merrier" is about having a gift grab for most people. I think most of them would be very insulted by that and that people should do as they like and enjoy it.

[NorthwestMom]

I will admit that this thread has hurt my feelings a little bit. We tend to have large parties, and it never occurred to me that people would judge us as greedy because we included everyone. In fact, because we include siblings, I've had several parties go to 40. My 4yo had a birthday party at Pump It Up this year, which includes the inflatable throne in the party room, but it's not an item we chose to put there.

 

We also try to accept invitations from kids we know only superficially, if it works for our schedule. Knowing my own kids, just because they haven't mentioned a child by name doesn't mean they might not really like a child and have a relationship with them that I don't participate inside drop off preschool or soccer class. Birthday parties of any size or type seem to be very important in my children's emotional world; they are honored and excited every time they are invited. I do understand that more introverted or busy families don't see this the same way we do.

[momofkhm]

it's at a venue. Then if I'm paying for a minimum of 12 kids, you can bet my 9 yo would be inviting 11 kids! (my child would be #12) But that's if it's something my girls don't want to do.

[BikeBookBread]

I will admit that this thread has hurt my feelings a little bit. We tend to have large parties, and it never occurred to me that people would judge us as greedy because we included everyone. In fact, because we include siblings, I've had several parties go to 40. My 4yo had a birthday party at Pump It Up this year, which includes the inflatable throne in the party room, but it's not an item we chose to put there.

 

We also try to accept invitations from kids we know only superficially, if it works for our schedule. Knowing my own kids, just because they haven't mentioned a child by name doesn't mean they might not really like a child and have a relationship with them that I don't participate inside drop off preschool or soccer class. Birthday parties of any size or type seem to be very important in my children's emotional world; they are honored and excited every time they are invited. I do understand that more introverted or busy families don't see this the same way we do.

 

It was NOT my intention to hurt anyone!!!! It is GOOD for me to hear this perspective. We are a quiet, introverted family. I just felt overwhelmed when I left the part...you guessed the venue, too. :)

 

Please don't think I'm being judgmental or nosey -- do you keep all of the gifts? This little girl easily had 50 presents. We just wouldn't even have room! We don't have a playroom to them into. Both girls share a bedroom, and have all of their books and toys in there as well. We have to keep our goods to a minimum because of our military move needs (and now adding homeschool stuff into the mix) we just really have to limit our family's household goods weight total. (Weird, I know.)