Children at the Dinner Table

[HRAAB]

Am I the only parent that expects my children to eat what I cook (no, I don't serve them food that literally makes them sick), to sit with feet on the floor - not backwards or upside down, to use their silverware properly, use their napkins rather than a hand/shirt sleeve, speak politely, and then ask to be excused?

 

After some time with their cousins, they obviously think I am. I'm too rigid and uptight about dinner - according to a relative. Actually, we laugh and enjoy good conversation at the dinner table. But I still value manners. Do you?

 

Janet

[Pamela H in Texas]

We make a meal. You eat it or don't; your business.

 

I'm not making anyone different food. You may not criticize it (except on the rare occassion it's THAT bad that we're all joking about it). Even better if you can find something good to say about the food, cook, etc.

 

We don't have the same manner rules you do, but we have our own. I agree that people need to be civilized at the table.

[HRAAB]

We make a meal. You eat it or don't; your business.

 

I'm not making anyone different food. You may not criticize it (except on the rare occassion it's THAT bad that we're all joking about it). Even better if you can find something good to say about the food, cook, etc.

 

We don't have the same manner rules you do, but we have our own. I agree that people need to be civilized at the table.

 

Oh, I should say the children I'm referring to are 12 and under. I do not make my older children eat certain foods; hopefully they have learned basic dietary guidelines by now and they are old enough to decide. But I do cook one meal, and only one meal. And no criticizing here, either. The cook is very sensitive.

 

Janet

[ladydusk]

My kids are 4 and under, so we don't worry so much about feet on the floor, but no playing with silverware, hands & feet to yourself, eat what you're served (at least a couple of bites of something new), no yelling or talking over anyone, patiently asking for more of something, "Thank you for the food, may I please be excused." is the standard, expected line at the end of a meal.

 

No, you're not too strict.

[Orthodox6]

I would consider our family "relaxed old-school". No elbows or arms on the table. Napkins (paper) for hand/face wiping. Silverware placed on the table according to the traditional layout -- and used according to traditional methods. (No peas on the knife, to cite the common jocular example !)

 

We invoked the "three bites" rule frequently while raising the four children. Our youngest now is ten. DH and I are delighted that these formerly stubborn "picky palates" gradually turned into young people who eat -- and enjoy ! -- a variety of foods far, far broader than the range of foods eaten by 95% of the young people whom I have known.

 

Our niece, aged 10, tyrannizes her parents in the realm of meals. She accepts the following foods: Cheerios. Milk. Chicken nuggets. Pizza. That is ALL !

 

We so much want her to come pay us an extended visit, but have had to tell her parents that we will not serve such a daily menu. They don't expect us to; however, we did experience a three-day visit when the child simply preferred to starve rather than yield to reality.

[rwalizer]

Ds can eat what has been prepared or he can have nothing. I have always allowed that choice. Even when he was little, if he didn't want to eat I just wrapped up his food and put it in the fridge. Then, when he started asking for dessert, I told him he could have it after he finished his dinner. (Or at least ate a healthy amount of it.) I also tried to teach him to sit correctly in his chair and so on and he can finally do that now at 14. BTW, he never went hungry and now he eats everything from burgers to sushi.

[LaxMom]

Yup, I'm in the "old school" camp. They use utensils for their intended purpose, place their napkins in their laps. They eat what is set before them. Graciously. (ok, they're 8, 4 & 4, sometimes they balk)

 

I don't make disgusting food, and not everything has to be one's personal favorite for it to be eaten without insult.

 

And, yes, they eat a very broad range of foods and cuisines.

 

(Manners would still be expected but there would be concessions made if anyone had sensory issues that made certain textures unpalatable, of course. I would consider it an egregious breach of etiquette to serve something that somebody was unable to stomach.)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Just one clarification. I don't make anyone eat anything, never have and certainly don't now (as you can see in my signature, my "kids" are BIG).

 

I HATED my parents forcing 3 bites or clean your plate so don't do that. No one has ever gagged on food here. But we encouraged reasonableness and my kids will try just about anything. And there is almost always a way to make it palatable (ds puts hot sauce on EVERYTHING).

 

But it is perfectly fine to choose not to eat this time around too.

[gingersmom]

I realize I am in the minority here but I cook a different meal for my daughter 99% of the time.

 

I grew up with a meat loving family and then spent nearly 20 years as a vegetarian. To this day I never eat red meat.

 

My mother was the manners police and being she hated to cook (and was really bad at it) we ate out a lot, compared to the rest of 1970's middle america. My parents thought nothing of taking us to fancy French restaurants in NYC and expecting us to be prim and proper.

 

This is one thing that I agree with her on. I am the manners police. Napkins in lap. No elbows on the table. Sit up straight. Use your utensils, that is what they are there for.

 

I figure later in life my kids will thank me.

[Guest janainaz]

I make one meal and if you don't eat it, you're done for the night. There is no drama at dinner in that regard and since we have dessert every night, they usually will eat. I try not to make foods my kids really dislike. They do know that at someone else's house, they better eat the food.

 

As far as manners, my kids do pretty well other than when my ds eats a vegetable he does not like. He runs around the living room and chews. He would never do that in public, or at someone else's house, but I don't make a big deal about it at home. However he needs to get it down.

 

My one pet peeve is burping in public, my kids have a habit of doing that when they have soda and I do my best to burn a hole through them with my dirty looks. I'll then ban them from soda in public for a month!

[swellmomma]

I make 1 meal, everyone is expected to sit up straight, take small bites, chew with mouth closed, no talking with full mouth etc.

 

I know my one neighbor never had those rules for her kids until recently. Ds5 often eats over there and has corrected her 2 and 5 yr old so many times about chewing with mouth closed, and talking with it full she decided to start teaching it to her kids. He also has to tell the two kids over there not to take his food (they all eat off each others plates in that home, and we don't though I have never actually thought to make that a rule).

 

She does laugh at the fact my 1 yr old has better manners than her 5 yr old, at the table. It is one the rare things I get complimented on with all 4 of my kids, how good their manners are when eating somewhere.

[LoriM]

Yes, we have always practiced appropriate table manners, and eaten what was prepared. I prepared foods that everyone would eat. Childhood is not a time for casseroles or gourmet cuisine, IMHO. As the girls matured in both age and manners, we expanded our palates. Sometimes there were dishes "only for adults" that they didn't have to sample.

 

I have nephews who are slobs at the table. A pig in a trough comes to mind. But a few pointers, and even they are better while at our home. I think it's firmness and consistency over time.

[Loupelou]

I agree with LoriM about consistency being important. We observe some basic rules: no elbows, face the table, don't talk with your mouth full, napkins go on your lap, no reaching over your neighbor for the dish -ask, if you complain about the food you get to wash the dishes, they learn quickly that it tastes just the way they like it! Burping would be a definite no-no in our house. I don't think I've ever had one of mine do that, but then body noises are taboo here. I know call me crazy but some things should be taken care of privately.:001_smile:

[Dawn in OH]

I expect all my children to sit at the table with us for the entire meal. I expect them to eat what we eat. I don't make foods that they hate, or at least not a whole meal of foods they hate. I do serve them only a very small portion of a food they dislike.

 

Everyone is expected to sit up, facing forward, feet in front of them, chew with their mouths closed, no talking with a full mouth, use a napkin. No toys at the table. The older 2 (6 and 8) are expected to ask to be excused.

 

Now when they were really little, there was a lot of foods that they didn't like, so if Dad and I wanted to have steaks, and the kids hated steak, I made them a burger or hot dogs. I'm not wasting good steaks on people that don't like them.

 

I have a "friend" whose children are little nightmares at the table. I actually hate to eat with them. They climb in and out of their chairs, turn around, eat with their hands, won't eat most food (they survive on hot dogs and macaroni and cheese), pick at their food, trade food, wipe their hands on the walls, touch other people. The six and half year old still drinks from a "sippy" type cup.

 

Honestly, my two year old has better table manners than their 6 1/2 and 3 1/2 year olds.

Edited August 20, 2009 by Dawn in OH

[Tree House Academy]

We are working on table manners. For a long time, we were that family that ate out A LOT as I hate to cook. My kids often ate a meal separate from my dh and I, so they learned to eat at the bar while watching TV. Terrible parenting, I know. And we are definitely seeing the effects of such absurdity now.

[hsmom27]

Well my 7yo DS is extremely underweight. To keep from having a PEG tube put in we let him eat whatever he wants, however he wants. That means he gets up and walks around during meals, eats with his hands a lot, and often eats different foods from the rest of us. My other children don't do those things (even the 2yo has good table manners). But I guess in some situations you have to pick the lesser of 2 evils.

[Joanne]

Hm.

 

When I ran the daycare, I taught very basic manners. And, being on the "food program", I offered food as scripted by the program but most of it went uneaten. It was a daycare, food was pretty kid friendly and cook friendly as well.

 

With my own brood, I don't enforce "no elbows on the table" because I have personally never understood that rule. :confused:

 

I don't cook additional/extra/custom meals. I don't make child *centered* food. My kids don't have a huge range but it's more than what most "picky" eaters have.

 

We sit together until everyone is done. We talk. We use our napkins. We remind basic utensils, manners, conversation and chewing courtesy.

 

I think we have an appropriately balanced approach to meal time.

[KrissiK]

Yeah, that's just askin' waaaay too much!;) No, those are our standards, too. Plus, no potty talk (I have 5 & 6 year old boys who just break up when someone says "bottom" or "underwear"), throwing food, purposeful burping or anything else of the kind. Our motto is, "At the table we eat and have pleasant conversation!" and that's all.

[QueenCat]

Informal manners when there isn't company (be polite, please, thank you, use the napkin). If you don't like what I made, make your self a sandwich (still eat with family). I still don't eat the foods my parents forced down my throat, and won't do it to my kids.

[elise1mds]

When we have family dinners at the table, manners are expected - no yelling, no talking with your mouth full, napkins on the lap, stay in your seat, etc. If we're having a picnic outside or at a very casual/fast-food restaurant, I tend to relax the rules a bit, but if we're at an actual sit-down restaurant with waitstaff, I do expect kids to behave just as they would at home. I do not want to have my kids being the ones that everyone is staring at. That really bugs me.

 

I do not fix more than one meal. I try to fix things that everyone likes and make notes on what leftovers get eaten as well, because otherwise I'm the one who winds up eating them all. I do encourage the kids to try new foods but don't force them down their throats, either. :)

[Aggie]

Yup, I'm in the "old school" camp. They use utensils for their intended purpose, place their napkins in their laps. They eat what is set before them. Graciously. (ok, they're 8, 4 & 4, sometimes they balk)

 

I don't make disgusting food, and not everything has to be one's personal favorite for it to be eaten without insult.

 

And, yes, they eat a very broad range of foods and cuisines.

 

(Manners would still be expected but there would be concessions made if anyone had sensory issues that made certain textures unpalatable, of course. I would consider it an egregious breach of etiquette to serve something that somebody was unable to stomach.)

 

Same here, except my youngest is 8. :)

 

I also understand that everyone will have a few items they just really don't like. Middle dc doesn't like onions and mushrooms, so I make sure she doesn't get any, or allow her to pick them out. Ds can't stand string beans, so he gets peas while the girls eat the beans. But this concession is nothing major, imo, just a courtesy. :)

[bella_gitana]

I guess I'm old school as well. We all eat dinner together, especially because it is when daddy can join us. The kids set the table, with utensils, napkins, glasses, and so on, while I cook.

The other meals are a 'free for all' We sometimes eat lunch on the floor of the living room, like a picnic.

I grew up eating all sorts of foods, and my parents made sure we at least tried a variety and from different cultures. Not forced, but encouraged to try because you just might like it. If we didn't like something, we knew what to expect if having dinner at some one's house, or knew not to order it at a restaurant. I do the same with my kids.

[EthiopianFood]

For the people who refuse to make a second meal, at which age do you start this? I have a 19 month old, and I do NOT want to start bad habits, but it is also difficult to watch her cry because she is hungry and refuses to eat what we have given her.

[Harriet Vane]

No you're not the only one. My kids eat what I cook, period, and are expected to have manners. I am a good cook (if I do say so myself) and do try to fix them things they like. If I prepare something too weird and gourmet I generally require them to try just a tiny amount and let them fill up on whatever is on the table that they like. Our policies have generally been fine, and I have had reason to be proud of my kids when they eat at other people's houses or when we take them to ethnic restaurants.

 

It does drive me a little crazy watching friends and relatives cater to young picky eaters. IMO if there are no bonafide sensory issues then I don't see a reason for all the fuss.

[Melissa in Australia]

we have table manners here as well. we don't use napkins at all though.

I put the food in the middle of the table in serving dishes, and it gets passed around from person to person, clockwise. each person takes something from each plate, sometimes they have a choice, between say pumpkin or sweet potato, etc. but they have to take something from each plate, otherwise they don't get any desert.

they have to use their cutlery correctly, mouth closed while chewing, cut their food to small sizes before putting into mouth , etc

[DawnM]

One day recently my children complained and I sent them to their rooms until they could come down and politely thank me for preparing them what I made! :D

 

Yes, they have to eat what I serve, AND they have to eat salad, veggies, and fruit.

 

Dawn

[Jane in NC]

As the parent of a seventeen year old son who eats just about everything, I would encourage you to carry on with introducing a wide range of real food to your children. There have been many instances when my young son turned up his nose at something. Nonetheless, he had to try a bite or three. Eventually, he'd announce, "Oh good! Sweet potatoes for dinner tonight!" as though he had always adored sweet potatoes.

 

Unfortunately teenage boys need to be reminded of manners as often as five year olds. My son and his friends sometimes act as though they haven't seen food for days, weeks. They literally inhale it (reminiscent of Jeremy in the comic Zits). Conversation and visual reprimands (the look that all mothers seem capable of casting) can potentially slow them down. Maybe.

 

By the way, at our home dinner rules are different than breakfast. Dinner time is conversation time. It should be relaxing. Breakfast is on our own with the newspaper.

 

Jane

[Pretty in Pink]

Yes, in this house you eat what Mom serves or you go hungry. That includes a large green salad with supper every night plus a steamed veggie. You sit on your bottom, napkin on your lap, no reaching across the table, and ask to be excused.

 

My children also work together to set the dinner table and they clean the kitchen after supper every night, including sweeping and wiping down the counters! I'm not incredibly picky about that part but they've gotten pretty good at both.

[Pretty in Pink]

For the people who refuse to make a second meal, at which age do you start this? I have a 19 month old, and I do NOT want to start bad habits, but it is also difficult to watch her cry because she is hungry and refuses to eat what we have given her.

 

My 12 month old eats what we eat unless it's something he can't eat (like PB & J at lunch). I have a few trays of baby food on reserve for those meals. He hasn't ever refused food though; he gobbles his meals up. I would probably offer him some legumes and veggies or something...

[HRAAB]

For the people who refuse to make a second meal, at which age do you start this? I have a 19 month old, and I do NOT want to start bad habits, but it is also difficult to watch her cry because she is hungry and refuses to eat what we have given her.

 

I don't recall ever making anything different other than babyfood, or mashing up/cutting in small pieces what I cooked for the entire family. Of five children, I have one who I would consider somewhat picky, but she still has always eaten what I cook. I remember holding them on my lap and gently coaxing them to eat. Maybe I've just been blessed with fairly easy children to feed. I don't think I'm mean, but I never wanted to get into the habit of cooking extra food. At that age, if they weren't eating what I gave them, I would probably give them something else. That's really young. I wouldn't make a child that young go hungry.

 

Now my nephew, 12 yrs old, is a different story. He lived on soda crackers almost entirely for four days, except for the time we took him out for pizza (the only pizza he would eat at a particular restaurant) because he would eat nothing I cooked. Plus he sat there and glared at me as if I were evil.

 

Janet

[HRAAB]

Oh, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only mom around that wants to see manners at the dinner table. I'll be sure to tell my children they're are not alone. ;)

 

Janet

[momofkhm]

Am I the only parent that expects my children to eat what I cook (no, I don't serve them food that literally makes them sick), to sit with feet on the floor - not backwards or upside down, to use their silverware properly, use their napkins rather than a hand/shirt sleeve, speak politely, and then ask to be excused?

 

No, I expect these things as well. I was also the only one who followed these things when I was growing up around my cousins. But by the time I noticed, I thought they were rude! I can also tell you that all the friends we have eaten with expect the same things from their children as well.

 

Maybe it's a homeschooling thing? Although I wasn't homeschooled.

[HRAAB]

 

Maybe it's a homeschooling thing? Although I wasn't homeschooled.

 

Actually this is what my sister said. You know, homeschoolers being so backward and all.

 

Janet

[Garga]

I haven't read the other posts, but I have no expectations at dinner.

 

Before having kids, I used to go into long discussions about raising children with a friend of mine. We'd talk for hours about how when WE have kids, they'll sit quietly by our side at church, they'll eat everything that we give them, they'll talk softly...on and on we went.

 

And then I had my first son. Colicky. Would NOT sleep. Hyperactive. An inquisitive and excited little boy. And extremely picky. (And since I am also a picky eater, I understand it. It's not fun to be picky. Food really does taste bad to us. It's not an excuse or us trying to be controlling. Most food just tastes disgusting.)

 

After years and years of training and teaching and finally getting him to be polite and sweet in most areas, our last battlefield is the dinner table. And I admit I've totally ceded the battle. In fact, most nights we just plop the 2 kids in front of the TV and let them eat their fishsticks in peace.

 

There. An absolutely honest answer. I'm not proud of how we handle dinner, but...there you have it.

[HRAAB]

I haven't read the other posts, but I have no expectations at dinner.

 

Before having kids, I used to go into long discussions about raising children with a friend of mine. We'd talk for hours about how when WE have kids, they'll sit quietly by our side at church, they'll eat everything that we give them, they'll talk softly...on and on we went.

 

And then I had my first son. Colicky. Would NOT sleep. Hyperactive. An inquisitive and excited little boy. And extremely picky. (And since I am also a picky eater, I understand it. It's not fun to be picky. Food really does taste bad to us. It's not an excuse or us trying to be controlling. Most food just tastes disgusting.)

 

After years and years of training and teaching and finally getting him to be polite and sweet in most areas, our last battlefield is the dinner table. And I admit I've totally ceded the battle. In fact, most nights we just plop the 2 kids in front of the TV and let them eat their fishsticks in peace.

 

There. An absolutely honest answer. I'm not proud of how we handle dinner, but...there you have it.

 

Well, I always appreciate an honest answer. :001_smile: As I said, my kids have been pretty easy, so it's hard to say what I would do for sure if I had a child that was not easy. I can think I would __________, but maybe it would play out differently.

 

Janet

[swellmomma]

For the people who refuse to make a second meal, at which age do you start this? I have a 19 month old, and I do NOT want to start bad habits, but it is also difficult to watch her cry because she is hungry and refuses to eat what we have given her.

 

 

Since they started table foods. What was served was served, no child will starve themselves. Eventually they ate what was served. Concessions I do make the wee ones, like my dd23 months does not like bread products very much, so if we have hamburgers or sandwiches etc I give her the filling without the bun/bread, or if we are having rolls with dinner I onlt give her a small peice not the half I would normally give at this age etc.

[tabrizia]

We serve the same food to DS that we eat, but we don't expect him to eat it if he doesn't want to. I try to make sure that there is always something included with dinner I know DS will eat, but if he doesn't feel like it that is his choice. My parents never forced us to eat just one bite, and I don't expect my children to eat just one bite. When he gets a bit bigger we will let him have the option of getting a yogurt out of the fridge or making himself a sandwich if he doesn't like the dinner options, but neither DH or I will cook a seperate meal for him.

 

He also always gets a snack before bed, if he eats dinner or not, since if he doesn't he won't sleep through the night. DD isn't an issue yet since she isn't eating anything yet, but we'll follow the same rules for her.

 

We do let him get down from the table when done, even if we aren't yet, but we do expect him to wipe his hands on his napkin and attempt to use his silverware

[HeatherInWI]

We're with you on this -- and we have polite, mannerly children who are enjoyable to dine with!

 

We've always had a three bite rule (trying at least three bites of any food one isn't allergic to, whether one likes it or not), and it has really worked. The children have learned to like foods that they initially didn't, and to politely tolerate ones they don't. Now they try new foods without even thinking about it . . . and usually enjoy them.

Edited August 20, 2009 by HeatherInWI

[Tammy]

if we go out.....but at home....we pretty much have a good time! We throw food at each other, have burping contests, and wipe our faces on our clothes......

 

Oh....I am just kidding.... But...we do most of our joking around then.

 

.

[Miss Peregrine]

We do expect good manners. We teach them playfully, though. When someone burps DH or I will say, "Oh, it's not Rude Manners night."

 

As far as eating what is served, yep. Eat it, or don't . I also don't say a word about what they eat, put anything on their plate or suggest anything. Starting at age 3, they see what's on the table and dish up their own. I have watched them go from ignoring the vegetables to "Yum, Asparagus!"

[Miss Peregrine]

 

Oh....I am just kidding.... But...we do most of our joking around then.

 

.

 

 

We do, too. Our dinnertimes are one of the best times of the day. We talk and laugh. We even have this thing where every once in awhile someone will randomly start tapping on their plate in some rhythm. Eventually the next person catches on and starts doing their own rhythm on their cup or whatever. It takes a minute for everyone to catch on and then we have a Little Rascals band going.:lol:

[Pretty in Pink]

This reminded me...yesterday, my oldest thanked me for always making he and his siblings try one bite of each dish at the dinner table. He told me that he didn't used to like pears or spinich but now he really likes both! Then, he wrinkled his nose and said, "But don't get any ideas about brussel sprouts!" LOLOLOL :D

[Impish]

Table manners are a MUST in my house. The kids aren't perfect by any means (yet!) but we're working on it.

 

At least the kids know how to properly hold cutlery.

 

I dated a nice guy who held his cutlery like he was a caveman. Clenching it tightly in his fist, as if he were afraid someone would take it back from him. Napkin stayed on the table.

 

Nice guy, but I couldn't stand eating a meal with him. I had visions of shuddering my way through decades of meals, and that was that. I didn't date him again.

 

Shallow? Yup. But everyone has their shudder point, and it turned out (to my surprise!) that table manners and proper use of cutlery is one of them.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

 

After years and years of training and teaching and finally getting him to be polite and sweet in most areas, our last battlefield is the dinner table. And I admit I've totally ceded the battle. In fact, most nights we just plop the 2 kids in front of the TV and let them eat their fishsticks in peace.

 

There. An absolutely honest answer. I'm not proud of how we handle dinner, but...there you have it.

 

I admit we often use TV tables for my ds. My dh and I eat in our respective chairs in the TV/family room as well on most nights. I grew up in the 1960's and us kids ate our dinners at TV tables in front of the TV and loved it:tongue_smilie:.

 

My ds is a picky eater and has severe food allergies. I do try to encourage new foods with 3 bites and have had more success with this lately. I also expect good manners:)

[Imprimis]

Honestly? I am very relaxed about meals. I often have something else available for my children if they don't like what I've made. It doesn't bother me at all to make a quick sandwich, scramble an egg, or pour cereal and milk into a bowl if someone does not (or, in some cases, cannot) eat what I've prepared.

 

As far as manners go, I'm not a stickler at home. Elbows on the table, talking, joking....doesn't bother me.

 

That said, we,as a family, enjoy dining out at fine restaurants from time to time. I can tell you that, on more than a couple of occasions, we've had other patrons come up to us and tell us how well-behaved our children were.

 

So, my kids do know how to act appropriately at the table, how to handle their utensils, what to do with their napkins, etc. We just take a more laid-back approach at home.

[KrissiK]

One thing I remembered reading when we got our boys (baby and toddler at the time) is that no child will intentionally starve themselves. So, basically, if they get hungry enough, they will eat what is set before them. That has helped me so much. I don't cook things I know the kid will hate, but I certainly don't cater to their finicky apetites. I make sure there's enough fruit around and I keep telling myself, "They eat a good breakfast, they have a good lunch, so if dinner isn't too appealing, they won't starve!"

[HRAAB]

Although once dinner is over and dishes are done, I am done, my kitchen is still open for the kids. They can have veggies, fruit, cereal or popcorn. If they use a dish, they have to wash it. No major cooking or anything, but they can grab something if they want. That's the nice part about them being a little older now. I can quit, put my feet up, and read. It does finally happen. :)

 

Janet

[hsmom27]

One thing I remembered reading when we got our boys (baby and toddler at the time) is that no child will intentionally starve themselves.

 

This isn't universally true. We were told the same thing about DS. It turned out he is one of the few who will starve himself rather than eat what's offered. Most kids I'm sure it won't starve, but if your child goes too long without food, you probably need to reassess your position.

[Melissa in Australia]

This isn't universally true. We were told the same thing about DS. It turned out he is one of the few who will starve himself rather than eat what's offered. Most kids I'm sure it won't starve, but if your child goes too long without food, you probably need to reassess your position.

:iagree:

 

I was one of those children. I couldn't stand stews when I was a kid. my mother would then save it for me to eat for breakfast, lunch or tea the next day, and the next. there was no way I would eat it. she even tried holding me down, getting dad to hold my nose until I opened my mouth, and pouring it in. then belting me when I vomited it up.

I would have rather died of starvation than eat that.

 

I get my children to try things, but never force them to eat things they don't like. if they really hate what I have cooked ( and I try not to cook things that everyone hates) then they are more than welcome to have bread and butter.

[Willow]

Amongst the 5 of us, we have 3 coeliacs, 1 anaphylactic to nuts, 1 anapylactic to milk, other 'normal' allergies to food include: Kiwi fruit, melon, prawns, egg, another one allergic (IgE) to milk but not anaphylatic, also milder allergies to peanut (not the nut one, shes peanut free already!), peas, and other legumes. In addition 2 girls have decared themselves vegetarian....

 

I have never made the same meal for all of us, I don't think it is possible.

 

I have told my children if they eat the wrong food by accident. SPIT IT OUT. I don't care where they are or who they are with, just spit it out and rinse like mad. Then inject if you are one of the anaphylactics.

 

I send food with them to other peoples houses. I do not expect them to eat what is put in front of them. If someone says "I'm not sure if this agrees with me" they don't eat it. Period. Yes, they take advantage, but so what. There are SO MANY food rules in our house what is the point of making more?