Male babysitters -- yes or no?

[msjones]

This question is a follow-up to a discussion overheard at my son's baseball game tonight.

 

Do you/would you use a male babysitter? If you have boys of babysitting age, do they babysit (for children other than siblings)?

[usetoschool]

I had a young man babysit my kids a few times when they were young. They loved him - he was much more fun than any girl babysitters they had. And my son has sat for a couple kids. In both cases though we were close friends with the families so there was no danger of any kind of accusations. I don't have any more of a problem with it than a girl babysitter that I was familiar with.

[Peela]

Yes, my 13yo son babysits regularly. It is at home. He babysits younger boys.

I would not like to be prejudiced against all boys just because the few bad cases out there are usually male. However, I would always just trust my gut feeling about any particular person, male or female.

[Friederike in Persia]

Our kids favourite baby-sitter is an 18 year old guy!

[Renthead Mommy]

My main babysitter is a 14 year old boy. We tease him and call him our manny! He's got 5 younger brothers and sisters 6yo and under down to 10 months.

 

I have no problem with having a boy babysitter, and actually they are more likely to actually 'play' with kids over girls who are more likely to talk on the phone.

 

But again like others said, it's a gut instinct. There are some boys I'd glad have over some girls I've seen out there. I don't pick babysitters based on gender, but on who I feel is responsible.

[yslek]

I wouldn't.

[Nestof3]

This question is a follow-up to a discussion overheard at my son's baseball game tonight.

 

Do you/would you use a male babysitter? If you have boys of babysitting age, do they babysit (for children other than siblings)?

 

 

Well, I haven't had to because Aaron watches our boys, but I do emphatically trust him with mine and I would with others as well.

[Sara in WA]

No. Grandfathers are the only males allowed to babysit our children. We have a friend who was a public defender and he saw so many terrible things that stemmed from situations with male babysitters of any age and all levels of trusted friendships or relations. He had a "no male babysitter" rule and we adopted the same.

[Laura Corin]

We have a lovely young man (17) who babysits for us.

 

Laura

[Karen sn]

This question is a follow-up to a discussion overheard at my son's baseball game tonight.

 

Do you/would you use a male babysitter? If you have boys of babysitting age, do they babysit (for children other than siblings)?

 

I have had a male babysitter for my daughter - we loved him.

I knew a woman in college who was molested by a female babysitter.

 

It depends on the person - but there are men I trust and womyn I don't. And there are womyn I trust and men I do not.

[Laurie4b]

Absolutely not--to both questions.

 

Q1: Because I had a background as a clinical social worker, I learned way too much prior to children to ever let a male or even a teenager babysit. My belief was to use only adult women as babysitters---which meant that I didn't go out much--until my children were old enough to explain very clearly to me what happened. After they were older (like elementary age), I always asked them two questions when I came home: "Did the babysitter have the same rules as Mommy and Daddy?" And "Were you comfortable with the babysitter?" (The questions were specifically designed to elicit any sexual abuse that may have happened. "Rules" like you can stay up later if you do x,y,z are often present in sexual abuse. And a child may not know that anything "wrong" happened, but the word "uncomfortable" tends to elicit the discomfort that a child feels in an abuse situation even if they don't really understand it. They also tend to get around any admonition to not tell mom and dad something because you're not directly asking about the event in q.1. Additionally, these questions don't alarm kids or raise suspicians. I often got "different rules' like "She let us stay up 15 min. later" )

 

The rate of adult women, particularly those in married relationships, sexually abusing prepubescent children is almost nil. (You can read about this right now in the news because of abberation of the case where the mother of her friend is accused of sexually abusing and murdering a young girl. Experts are giving statistics as to just how rare this is). The rates of teen sexual abuse of children is significant---and this includes female teens. This is because the vast majority of teen sexual abuse is not pedophile in nature--it is experimental--learning from "safer" subjects, rather than getting sexual stimulation from young children as opposed to peers. 20% of all sexual abuse in churches is by teens, for instance. Again, this includes teenaged girls and it includes "nice" teengaged girls. Now if you combine the teenaged part with the male part, then you are taking a significant sta****tical risk. You cannot know who and who will not do this. It just isn't possible. So I didn't take the risk. When my kids were older, I did use older teenaged babysitters, as I said. I also used younger teens, both boys and girls, as mother's helpers when I was home and supervising. So I played the odds.

 

Q.2 Would I let my boys babysit in private situations? Absolutely not. Two reasons: 1) I don't want to put them into a position where they might be falsely accused or misinterpreted and 2) I don't want to put them in a place where they might be tempted. Do I trust my boys? Absolutely. But I cannot know what their secret temptations might be. Too many "nice" kids do experiment on children. I do let them babysit in group settings, like at church, where there are other babysitters present.

[Danestress]

My oldest son babysat his siblings all the time. He also babysat for one neighborhood boy who just really loved him and is my younger boys' best friend. We know the parents well and allowed this, though at times it worried me. He wasn't a baby though - the child was probably 7 or so when this started. We were always home if he babysat.

 

In general, I don't believe that teenagers should be babysitting young children. I didn't want someone to babysit my children who couldn't take responsibility in an emergency. If you can't drive, that didn't seem comfortable to me. If you aren't old enough to make your own medical decisions, have a job, etc, I wonder why you are old enough to be in sole care of young children? I wouldn't lend a teenager my car, so why put them in charge of my babies?

 

I think we place young teens in a very precarious situation when we put them in charge of young children and then leave. For me, I was more comfortable finding family members or adult friends to babysit. I did sometimes use a girl who lived close by and whose mother was always very "on top" of things, but only when my boys were 7 or 8. I don't want my children in a position of having finger pointed at them if a child is abused physically or sexually by someone and they were one of the people who cared for them. That's just too much. And further, if a child were injured in their care, I think that would be fairly traumatic.

 

I'm not so focused on sexual abuse. It's more a matter of what happens if there is an injury of any type. My experiences with teen girls have not been great. Between teen boys and teen girls, I wouldn't have a strong preference, but I don't think either really should be sitting.

 

Then again, I have always had grandparents around. Maybe I would have gotten over my anxiety about this if I didn't. When my children were babies, I had a mother's helper who was 14. She took really good care of the children, though I was always in the home.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Danestress

[snickelfritz]

take kids to the bathroom, unless they are old enough to go in by themselves and just need someone to escort them down the hall.

 

They also do background checks before you can work with kids.

 

None of this is foolproof, but it does put the odds more in your favor.

 

No, I would not feel comfortable with a younger male babysitter.

[Paintedlady]

With very few exceptions, no.

[TraceyS/FL]

I'm not overly big into babysitters in the first place. PRobably for the reasons Danestress uses - but i just haven't thought about it. I rarely leave my kids with big sister, she's just not ready for the responsibility.

 

I much prefer adult sitters, and it would depend on the person if i went male or female. I have a male friend i'm pretty sure i'd trust with the kids.

[Free Indeed]

I am not big on leaving my kids with a sitter anyways. However, if I knew the family and knew the child I would have no problems. There are a few young men (13 and up) in my church right now that I would be comfortable with, but I don't. My oldest is 12 now, and he does the babysitting for us when we need it, but we are usually together as a family.

[Chelle in MO]

When my boys were younger, my good friend's teenage sons babysat them occasionally. They lived 3 houses away, played outside together, and were just generally great role models for my boys. They are both in college now, and my boys often recall fun times w/them. When asked, one of my boys gave their names as people who have influenced his life in a positive way.

 

My very responsible 14 yos babysits two elementary-age girls across the street sometimes and they whine like crazy when their mom comes home and he has to go! He is so silly and so much fun w/them that it's like a party when he's there.

 

I'm glad that my friend's sons and my son have been able to have this level of responsibility and this type of interaction w/younger charges during their teenage years. I think it has been a positive part of their development.

 

I'm very conservative when it comes to my children and the responsibility of caring for them and of them caring for others, and the statistics are scary, for sure, but it's another of those things that parents have to weigh/judge for their individual situations.

 

Chelle

[Prudent]

Nope. I too believe all the things Laurie posted.

 

Our children are watched by my mother only. She's very busy, so our kids are almost always with us.

[Impish]

It saddens me that just because of gender, a person is automatically more suspect.

 

I've had a brother and sister team mind my kidlets...if one wasn't available, the other would mind them. Occasionally, for a day time job, both would come, since 2 kids under 3 can be a handful for anyone.

 

There have been situations when I was working that Diva would invite a friend over, and the question would come, "Is your Mom home?" and the answer, "No, my Dad is." and the child wouldn't be allowed. Meanwhile, my husband has far more patience and tolerance for opk (other people's kids) than I do, on any given day. He's the one making them popcorn for their movie while I'm fleeing for the sanctuary of my bedroom to escape the shrill giggling of little girls :lol:

 

OK, not quite that extreme, but you get the picture. He's more the Mr. Rogers type when it comes to a host of other kids, and I'm more the Miss. Hannigan type. Adore my own, adore a FEW other kids (like Special Mama's, her's are flippin adorable!) but other than that...

 

And he's judged unsafe...because he has dangly bits.

[Alice]

We don't have to use a lot of babysitters as we have a lot of willing family close by to babysit. I think I'd be fine with a male babysitting, but I think with any outside babysitter I'd want to know the person or their family pretty well. We have two families we are close friends with and they have older boys that are incredibly nice to our kids and I'm very grateful for it. My BIL babysits for us often when he's in town.

[hsmom]

I would. I have had such horrible problems with girls. All they seem to want to do is be on the phone or computer chatting with their friends. Or sneeking friends and such over.

 

I have found with young males that they tend to take the kids outside and play, ride bikes, play ball, heck even play video games with them. They just tend to do more and try harder.

[angela in ohio]

No. I agree with Laurie. No teenage babysitters in general and no male babysitters at all here.

 

This is an informative report on sexual crime statistics. Some findings: For children, 6% of offenders are female and 94% male. The charts on p. 9 are particularly helpful when thinking about the age of possible offenders.

Edited April 21, 2009 by angela in ohio

[coralloyd]

No, because I have two girls if I had all boys, maybe.

[fivetails]

One of the very few 'babysitters' that we're okay with and *able* to have (because of ds10's disabilities) happens to be a male cousin of mine - he's my best friend & is like a big brother to me, has always been an uncle to the kids. I trust him 100% with the kids. :)

 

Does that mean I would hire any male sitter? Nope. I also wouldn't just hire any female sitter. The key for us is trust - and that doesn't happen overnight. ;)

[Heather in Neverland]

Absolutely not--to both questions.

 

Q1: Because I had a background as a clinical social worker, I learned way too much prior to children to ever let a male or even a teenager babysit. My belief was to use only adult women as babysitters---which meant that I didn't go out much--until my children were old enough to explain very clearly to me what happened. After they were older (like elementary age), I always asked them two questions when I came home: "Did the babysitter have the same rules as Mommy and Daddy?" And "Were you comfortable with the babysitter?" (The questions were specifically designed to elicit any sexual abuse that may have happened. "Rules" like you can stay up later if you do x,y,z are often present in sexual abuse. And a child may not know that anything "wrong" happened, but the word "uncomfortable" tends to elicit the discomfort that a child feels in an abuse situation even if they don't really understand it. They also tend to get around any admonition to not tell mom and dad something because you're not directly asking about the event in q.1. Additionally, these questions don't alarm kids or raise suspicians. I often got "different rules' like "She let us stay up 15 min. later" )

 

The rate of adult women, particularly those in married relationships, sexually abusing prepubescent children is almost nil. (You can read about this right now in the news because of abberation of the case where the mother of her friend is accused of sexually abusing and murdering a young girl. Experts are giving statistics as to just how rare this is). The rates of teen sexual abuse of children is significant---and this includes female teens. This is because the vast majority of teen sexual abuse is not pedophile in nature--it is experimental--learning from "safer" subjects, rather than getting sexual stimulation from young children as opposed to peers. 20% of all sexual abuse in churches is by teens, for instance. Again, this includes teenaged girls and it includes "nice" teengaged girls. Now if you combine the teenaged part with the male part, then you are taking a significant sta****tical risk. You cannot know who and who will not do this. It just isn't possible. So I didn't take the risk. When my kids were older, I did use older teenaged babysitters, as I said. I also used younger teens, both boys and girls, as mother's helpers when I was home and supervising. So I played the odds.

 

Q.2 Would I let my boys babysit in private situations? Absolutely not. Two reasons: 1) I don't want to put them into a position where they might be falsely accused or misinterpreted and 2) I don't want to put them in a place where they might be tempted. Do I trust my boys? Absolutely. But I cannot know what their secret temptations might be. Too many "nice" kids do experiment on children. I do let them babysit in group settings, like at church, where there are other babysitters present.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[skaterbabs]

I feel it's sad that half the populatoin is automatically distrusted because of their sex. My almost-thirteen-year-old son is AMAZING with small children. He loves playing with them and (at least in regards to younger kids) is pretty responsible. It is in fact one of the only areas in which I can 100% trust him.

 

And yet because he actually enjoys children and is good with them people assume he's a potential abuser. :rant: This is the kid who cried when he thought I'd hit a squirrel with the car. :glare:

[chaik76]

I feel it's sad that half the populatoin is automatically distrusted because of their sex. My almost-thirteen-year-old son is AMAZING with small children. He loves playing with them and (at least in regards to younger kids) is pretty responsible. It is in fact one of the only areas in which I can 100% trust him.

 

And yet because he actually enjoys children and is good with them people assume he's a potential abuser. :rant: This is the kid who cried when he thought I'd hit a squirrel with the car. :glare:

:iagree:

 

We use both male and female babysitters. I've seen this with so many people lately, this fear of young males. It really, really upsets me.

 

I don't differentiate by sex with our babysitters...I'm looking for are people I trust, who will play with my kids. Doesn't matter a whit to me if it's a 13-year old boy or an 80--year old lady.

 

ETA: I'm starting to dread the day my boys become teens. Will they suddenly not be allowed to play with little children? Looked at with fear? I could definitely rant about this.

[TraceyS/FL]

:iagree:

ETA: I'm starting to dread the day my boys become teens. Will they suddenly not be allowed to play with little children? Looked at with fear? I could definitely rant about this.

 

I much more fear your teens with my teen girl than i do/would with my youngers! LOL!!

 

But it does make me sad overall, that "we" as a society have pigeon holed all men into "that" category. Guilty by association.

[mazakaal]

We have an adult male friend who has babysat for us. We know him very well and trust him implicitly. He doesn't babysit often and now that he's married, he usually babysits with his wife. I wouldn't allow a teenage boy to babysit unless I knew him very, very well. I think generally teen boys are just not as responsible as teen girls (no flames please - I know there are exceptions). Of course, I want to know a teen girl very well before I let her babysit as well. But I do think I'd be more cautious in choosing a boy over a girl.

[AnnetteB]

Our sons watch their younger siblings and are trustworthy with children. Our neighbors have called on us for babysitters, but when the older girls have been busy and I have offered one of the teen boys the neighbors have been surprised and unsure. The boys have only babysat a few times because girls are the preferred choice. I understand completely and so do the boys. I think that you should know ANY sitter pretty well to leave your children in their care, but the reality is that people often leave their children with a teenage girl that simply comes on a friend's recommendation.

[Nestof3]

I'm wondering how these moms will ever let their daughters marry men who have such a likelihood of being pedophile rapists. Since my 19 year old son could not be trusted to babysit, he surely shouldn't be trusted to court, marry and have children of his own.

 

This doesn't really affect me because I've only needed a babysitter outside of family one time, I've never left my children at a school, daycare or other place where I didn't know people, we don't do children's church, etc. My son is also too busy with college and physical labor work to have time to babysit, but he would surely be sad to know that along with everyone assuming he's an unsafe driver, and that he couldn't responsibly drink a glass of wine with dinner, they also assume he is a pedophile rapist.

[snickelfritz]

And I understand that it saddens some of you.....

 

BUT, it is statistically more likely that a male will abuse my children. That's the way it is and I try to play all of the statistics to my favor.

 

My kids still ride in a 5-pt harness--even though we've never been in an accident and any accident could still be bad enough to kill them.

 

I don't let them walk around the neighborhood by themselves--even though several other 5-6 year olds roam our neighborhood at will and nothing has happened to them.

 

It's all about analyzing the risks and trying to minimize them, while still letting our children have experiences.

 

Would it bother me for one of your sons to show interest in my daughters and to play with them at church? No. There are several very good, boy, teen helpers who actually relate better to 5 & 6 year olds than I do. My 5 year old has a college-age boy soccer coach, whom she absolutely ADORES. My 3 year old dd went to watch practice, yesterday, and she was smitten. He gave her hand stamps and high-fives and let her kick the ball into the goal. None of that bothers me one iota. But, none of those people are ever in the position of needing to help my dd's go to the bathroom or get ready for bed, which even at 5 and 3, they both still runs into sometimes.

 

So, No....I wouldn't let any of those boys babysit for me.

[Kelli in TN]

I have used male babysitters and I would do so again in a heartbeat.

[Kelli in TN]

I feel it's sad that half the populatoin is automatically distrusted because of their sex. My almost-thirteen-year-old son is AMAZING with small children. He loves playing with them and

 

I would NOT let my 13 year old babysit for other people because he is "squirrely" as can be. BUT he is so good with younger kids that I think when he matures a bit he could be an awesome babysitter. He is a den chief in my younger son's Cub Scout den and he is so good with those boys, he gets down on the floor with them and they all push to sit next to him. Yesterday we had company that included a 6 year old girl who had no playmate (we are sadly lacking in 6 year old girls right now) and my 13 year old son found her playing alone with my older daughter's dolls. He invited her to play Wii with him and let her pick all the games.She only picked games that he does not enjoy, but he still played them with gusto.

 

I guess this behavior probably makes him look suspicious, like he is "grooming" young boys and six year old girls to potentially abuse them. But I can assure you that he is as innocent and harmless as can be. He just honestly cares about the feelings of younger kids. How sad that he is to be viewed as untrustworthy for that.

[stripe]

I am not into babysitters myself. I have only had relatives watch my children, and for short periods of time.

 

When I was a child, my mother had some truly unsavory discoveries about my babysitters, one who was a son of a friend of hers, so I'm beyond cautious.

[Nestof3]

And I understand that it saddens some of you.....

 

BUT, it is statistically more likely that a male will abuse my children. That's the way it is and I try to play all of the statistics to my favor.

 

But, none of those people are ever in the position of needing to help my dd's go to the bathroom or get ready for bed, which even at 5 and 3, they both still runs into sometimes.

 

So, No....I wouldn't let any of those boys babysit for me.

 

I can see what you're saying here. I wasn't thinking about getting them ready for bed and helping with the bathroom. I don't think Aaron would want to help a little girl with the bathroom either because she's female, if he had to have physical contact with her private area.

 

I often wonder how it doesn't affect a dad to have his 15-year old daughter wearing a bikini. If he enjoys the way other 15 year olds look in a bikini, what would keep him from noticing his own daughter's body?

 

I don't ask that to be weird, and since we have no daughters, I cannot ask my husband.

[3littlekeets]

I would. I have had such horrible problems with girls. All they seem to want to do is be on the phone or computer chatting with their friends. Or sneeking friends and such over.

 

I have found with young males that they tend to take the kids outside and play, ride bikes, play ball, heck even play video games with them. They just tend to do more and try harder.

 

 

Same experience here!

[angela in ohio]

I much more fear your teens with my teen girl than i do/would with my youngers! LOL!!

 

But it does make me sad overall, that "we" as a society have pigeon holed all men into "that" category. Guilty by association.

 

I don't get that from this thread at all. This thread is about whether, when making a decision of hiring a male or female babysitter, you would choose to pick a male. It does not follow from the fact that I would choose a female rather than a male, based on statistics, that I think all men are sexual predators.

[AndyJoy]

I'm wondering how these moms will ever let their daughters marry men who have such a likelihood of being pedophile rapists. Since my 19 year old son could not be trusted to babysit, he surely shouldn't be trusted to court, marry and have children of his own.

 

Presumably any young woman that would date him would be 18+ and spend several years getting to know his character before marrying him. A young child does not have that ability.

 

I perfectly understand not wanting a male babysitter. As a young teen, I thought it was strange that people didn't hire boys very often. However, when I was older, I found out that 2 of the 3 boys I knew who babysat had molested the kids!

 

I do not in any way think that all boys/men are abusers, but the statistics are scary enough that I personally wouldn't take the risk, unless it were someone I had know personally for their whole life (like my best friend's younger brother).

[TraceyS/FL]

I don't get that from this thread at all. This thread is about whether, when making a decision of hiring a male or female babysitter, you would choose to pick a male. It does not follow from the fact that I would choose a female rather than a male, based on statistics, that I think all men are sexual predators.

 

But you are making that decision solely based on the gender of the sitter correct? Because statistically the risk is higher, therefore "you" will eliminate that chance.

 

Like i said for me, it truly depends on the person. Right now i wouldn't allow my own 13 to watch someone else's children, but i'd leave my kids in the care of a male friend in a heartbeat. I don't know many male teens to leave them with, nor other young teens. Its not something that has come up for me outside of adults.

 

But overall as a society, we appear to be eliminating the places young males can learn in a good situation, perhaps with good guidance, how to be better caregivers.

 

Anyway, it does make me sad (and notice i have 3 girls).

[tricia]

My 5 youngest children are all girls so I would have to seriously weigh it out. My middle boys are 13 and 15 and have done babysitting but not near as much as my older girls. I haven't had to hire a sitter in years though ever since my I've had my older children get old enough. However, I have a nephew who is 13, always been homeschooled, I've known him since birth and I would hire him if I needed to. He babysits all the time for other people and very much loved by them. I just think that your gut instinct will tell you much.

[angela in ohio]

But you are making that decision solely based on the gender of the sitter correct?

 

Well, no, I don't think anyone is saying they make the decision solely on gender. Just being female certainly doesn't qualify someone to watch my children. (We actually don't use any sitters, though.)

[specialmama]

When I was 4 or 5, my sister was 7 or 8, and we had a male babysitter. First ever. And... the last. He did horrible things. 'nuf said.

 

I agree, that statistically speaking, teenage boys can be a threat. And I also agree that most teenage girls just want to raid the fridge and chat on the phone. I would not hire a teenage sitter at all, male or female, unless I knew them and their parents well. There are really great kids out there, we just have to find them! ;)

[Heather in Neverland]

I only have sons and I still wouldn't use a teenage boy as a sitter. But I also don't use teenage girls. I only use family, friends or adults. And I don't trust anyone, to be honest, but I do everything I can to limit the risk and this includes not using babysitters very often.

 

I would not take it personally if no one allowed my son to babysit for them when he is older. Numbers do not lie. If, statistically speaking, the overwhelming majority of babysitters who molest children are male...well, my son may be the exception to that rule but how do you prove that to someone? You can't. Better to be safe than sorry.

 

Incidentally, my husband's first sexual experience was with his FEMALE babysitter who was 16yo at the time. I'm just saying....

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm not that comfortable babysitting other people's kids myself. There is always that chance that I could be accused of something. It is so hard to prove a negative. And accusations of abuse tend to stick even if the person is proven to be innocent.

 

So - we go for transparency. Ds11 does watch some younger children - outside where all the neighbors can see his interactions with the other kids. If they have to go to the bathroom they come here where I supervise. I watch other kids on rare occasions. We go outside. Or we leave the door open.

 

We've used babysitters only a handful of times in the last 11 years. We just haven't needed to. I feel a lot better about it now than when my kids were really young because they can speak up for themselves and they can tell me how things went. However, I have a bad feeling about one of the male cousins - he will never ever be alone with my kids. It may be unfair to him since my judgment is only from vibes and nothing concrete but that's the way it goes.

[hsmom]

The only reason the statistics are so high on boys is because the ones done by the girls are not reported as much. Same thing with rape and such. You just don't here about it as much, because even though it still goes on more than most think, most boys just don't say anything. In fear they look weak that a girl did something to them. Well I better get back on the topic and really stop reading this thread it is really making me upset that so many judge by gender. It is very sad.

[phathui5]

I would only use a male babysitter as part of a team, with a female present.

[Rosy]

DH says absolutely not, because his sister was molested by a boy babysitter. We love when boys help in their Sunday School and co-op classes and will likely be using a 13-year-old boy we know and trust at the church with us when we're leading a Bible study (we and his parents will be there, but in a different room). We draw the line at changing clothes, helping in the bathroom or being alone at our home (or someone else's). We did let our regular sitter bring her younger brother over to help a few times.

 

I also would not put my son in that situation when he's old enough...he can make money mowing lawns, cleaning houses, etc. (and would probably prefer that anyway).

[Jean in Wisc]

My hubby knew someone who worked legal cases that dealt with boys who where babysitters who were charged with abuse. This man refused to let a boy babysit girls or boys, claiming that there too often was a case where the boy could not get the children to obey him and used unacceptable means--that on top of the other boys who simply took advantage of the situation. After talking to this man, my hubby absolutely refused to let a boy babysit.

 

FWIW,

Jean

 

P.S. And I would never put my son in the place of being alone with other people's kids. It is too often that an innocent action becomes taken as a non-innocent one. I really preach to the kids what they are allowed and not allowed to do at AWANA when they help with the kids. Life is too short.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Jean in Wisc

[WagsWife]

My husband is like yours. He is the fun one...making popcorn, drinks etc. He loves to have a houseful of kids over because, in his words "it makes the house feel alive." That being said, if I am not going to be home, we always disclose this to parents, and we would not give it a second thought if they chose not to send their child over.

 

We have never had a parent not let their child come over when just DH was here...and frankly that has always amazed us. We have to know both parents really well before we are comfortable with our girls sleeping over...or being at their house with only the Dad. Honestly, in this day and age, you can not be too cautious with your children.

 

 

It saddens me that just because of gender, a person is automatically more suspect.

 

I've had a brother and sister team mind my kidlets...if one wasn't available, the other would mind them. Occasionally, for a day time job, both would come, since 2 kids under 3 can be a handful for anyone.

 

There have been situations when I was working that Diva would invite a friend over, and the question would come, "Is your Mom home?" and the answer, "No, my Dad is." and the child wouldn't be allowed. Meanwhile, my husband has far more patience and tolerance for opk (other people's kids) than I do, on any given day. He's the one making them popcorn for their movie while I'm fleeing for the sanctuary of my bedroom to escape the shrill giggling of little girls :lol:

 

OK, not quite that extreme, but you get the picture. He's more the Mr. Rogers type when it comes to a host of other kids, and I'm more the Miss. Hannigan type. Adore my own, adore a FEW other kids (like Special Mama's, her's are flippin adorable!) but other than that...

 

And he's judged unsafe...because he has dangly bits.