5kidsforME Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? Have any of you already gone through this with a child? I am just curious. There have been so many interesting threads about religion lately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? Have any of you already gone through this with a child? I am just curious. There have been so many interesting threads about religion lately. Although I don't identify as an atheist, my conception of "God" is my own and not reflected in any organized religion of which I'm aware. However, I assume that my children will find their own paths by listening to what resonates with their own hearts. And I'll be just fine if they follow a path that is different from mine. I suppose one of the advantages of not believing that anyone who doesn't think what I think is wrong is that I don't have any baggage to lug along on the journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Any well thought out spiritual path is fine by me as long as they practise it in a respectful way, hurting neither themselves nor anyone else. Each person has their own path to follow. Some people are called to follow a straight path, some are destined to a more winding road. Something many Christians on this board seem not to understand is that those of us who don't belong to an organised religion have less to lose by any change in spirituality, so it is not such a threat. Hmm. I'm not sure if that's going to be read the way I mean it, but I'm sure someone will ask for clarification if not. I don't lose my social network by changing my faith in any way. I don't believe there is one right and true path or in hell, so I have no need to worry that my children are going to be lost. There's nothing in particular for them to leave, really. Dh and I have quite different beliefs already, but not of the type that would cause incompatibility. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdogs29906 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Although I don't identify as an atheist, my conception of "God" is my own and not reflected in any organized religion of which I'm aware. However, I assume that my children will find their own paths by listening to what resonates with their own hearts. And I'll be just fine if they follow a path that is different from mine. I suppose one of the advantages of not believing that anyone who doesn't think what I think is wrong is that I don't have any baggage to lug along on the journey. This is pretty much where we are. The kids know what we (the parents) believe. However, we have always told the kids that they should believe whatever feels right to them. Within our family I think we must have every religion represented. The kids know that grandma is a Christian, uncle is an atheist, aunt is wiccan, etc. etc. I really want my kids to make their own decisions and discoveries about religion and spirtuality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Heheh, we're probably more concerned how their political views turn out. What if we end up with a little right winger?!! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? Have any of you already gone through this with a child? I haven't gone through it with a child - I am that child. :w00t: My atheist father & stepmother & brother & sister really don't know what to make of me. It's kinda fun sometimes. Shhhh. I didn't say that. :lol: (We're not really that close, for other reasons, so it's not like it comes up on a daily basis.. but I know they're all confuzzled as to how they ended up with a Christian child/sibling given that they are all as hardcore as atheists come. ;) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I suppose one of the advantages of not believing that anyone who doesn't think what I think is wrong is that I don't have any baggage to lug along on the journey. :iagree: Well said (again). Right now my dd8 wants to be a Buddhist when she grows up instead of an atheist. She says I can't be Buddhist because of my irrational urge to attack the snakes in our yard with the shovel. My right-wing conservative, evangelical Christian brother and I get along just fine. Actually, our differences give us many spirited debates and much more to discuss that lots of brothers and sisters have. I can't imagine my child choosing a deity to worship that would bother me. Now if they chose to quit reading, I would have to seriously consider where I went wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Now if they chose to quit reading, I would have to seriously consider where I went wrong. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Heheh, we're probably more concerned how their political views turn out. What if we end up with a little right winger?!! :) Rosie Then I would have to say "Thank goodness! At least one of 'em turned out right!" :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Then I would have to say "Thank goodness! At least one of 'em turned out right!" :tongue_smilie: [rimshot] Wahwahwah Ok, that was a groaner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 [rimshot] Wahwahwah Ok, that was a groaner. LOL! I know. :lol: I just couldn't pass it up! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? I am an "apathist" in that whether there is a deity or not is not a matter of concern to me. (I act as if there is no god, but don't think it is possible to prove there isn't, and don't bother to "question" like an agnostic, because it is so unproveable. It is a "non-starter" for me, if that is as clear as mud.) If my child, who thus far has been showing more and more signs of being a little replica of me (this is actually a bit eerie), I would be worried that something was amiss psychologically, like a underlying anxiety disorder or depression that is making life so bad he pins his hopes on the afterlife. I have met people like that. So, my response would be worry. If he was normal in what Freud once called the ability "to work and to love", I would stop worrying, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? Have any of you already gone through this with a child? I am just curious. There have been so many interesting threads about religion lately. My kids are free to believe what they will, but they must be polite about it, and they are not permitted to attempt any deathbed conversions (or any other conversions, for that matter.) I'm from a long line of atheists though, so I'm not worried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 What is that saying? Hate the sin, love the sinner? I think that's kind of how you deal with anything they might choose to do when they're old enough to decide for themselves. Love them no matter what and try to respect their decisions. I often wonder how hard it must be for a parent whose child has committed a crime. Do you give up on them or stand by them no matter what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 As long as they are happy and the religion they choose is prosocial (not a "death to unbelievers!" type cult), I don't care. The kids are certain to believe differently on some issues than I do; I'm producing individuals, not clones, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 The only disappointment I would have is if I believed they were using their religion/spiritual belief in a damaging way to themselves or to others (isolating or judging, or violent/aggressive attitudes or actions). We model a "live and let live" philosophy as my in-laws, with whom we share a close relationship, believe very differently than we do (fundamentalist), and we have all managed to demonstrate an attitude of acceptance and love these 17 years since I joined the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I honestly have no ill feelings toward any faith. I sincerely hope my children find a path that resonates with their souls and helps them feel a part of something bigger. My atheist feelings come from a place of withdrawal and deep hurt. I would never wish this on my children. They all currently call themselves atheists because they do not believe in anything spiritual at all. But I feel that as they mature, they'll want to learn more to make an informed decision. That's what I'm trying to show them at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 At this time, my 10yo appears to be headed down a right-wing path of Christianity. I have no idea if he'll stay that way or not, and I hope he doesn't, but I'm also proud of him (and myself!) for feeling secure in his own ideas. His life is going to be his own for a lot longer than it will be "mine". He needs to live it his way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Heheh, we're probably more concerned how their political views turn out. What if we end up with a little right winger?!! :) Rosie Oooh, that would be harder for me . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? I would have no problem with that. Their minds are their own, and they are free to believe whatever they want. Have any of you already gone through this with a child? No. But lately my 3yo dd has been asking for a flying boat so she can go visit Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Right now my dd8 wants to be a Buddhist when she grows up instead of an atheist. My daughter went through a Buddhist phase about that age, too. I remember reading Siddhartha aloud to her when she was 7-ish and being truly surprised at how much of it she "got." I think I've told the story of how Buddha got us past the Barbie crisis? Even now, she has a couple of Buddhas in her dorm room and some books of Buddhist scripture on her shelves. Now if they chose to quit reading, I would have to seriously consider where I went wrong. Ditto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Well, I am not atheist but I am not Christian and do not belong to any organized religion. I have six kids and I have a very large spectrum of beliefs amoung them. As far as I know my oldest has not given it any thought what-so-ever. My oldest dd is Christian. My second oldest is working those things out right now but she is not anti-Chrisitan. 16 yr. old dd has spent the most time in church of any of them and she is fervently anti-Christian. Her beliefs are the most similar to my own. The 12 yr. old is currently attending a Babtist church. The youngest is not really old enough to form an opinion about the matter yet. I am perfectly ok with all of my children's religious beliefs. Now if any of them actually tried to convert me, well then there could be some problems but that would have more to do with lack of respect that what they believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 No. But lately my 3yo dd has been asking for a flying boat so she can go visit Jesus. :lol: Oh my gosh! That is so funny, Sleepy!:lol: Really, what's the harm in a flying boat? Carpets fly, why not boats?;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Then I would have to say "Thank goodness! At least one of 'em turned out right!" :tongue_smilie: :lol: That's what I was thinking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Then I would have to say "Thank goodness! At least one of 'em turned out right!" :tongue_smilie: Eh, that's okay. We'll feel the same way if one of yours turns into a neo-hippy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I wouldn't care if they chose to believe in god. I would care if they chose to adopt a "My beliefs are right and everyone else's are wrong" attitude, and I would also care if they used their religion to justify discriminating against others. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not an atheist, but my belief of 'God' doesn't reflect traditional Christianity at all. Anyway, since I started out as a very traditional, conservative Christian and I've had my own journey through faith which has landed me on the outskirts of any religion, I think it would be quite hypocritical to not respect the right of my own children to follow their own journeys and hearts. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not exactly an atheist (I was for awhile, but it was a way of dealing with deep hurts, and it was just one phase of my journey) but I couldn't resist reading your post and all the interesting replies. I'm a panentheist and it matters little to me whether my daughter comes to believe in one God, many gods, or no god, or which "religion" (if any) she chooses. But I do have strong opinions about the type of path that a person can chose within any given religion. In most religions, there is the mystic path, the one of personal spiritual experience which emphasizes compassion, simple living, and prayer/meditation, and then there is the other path which I don't quite know how to label, but it is more focused on obeying a certain behavioral code and putting a great deal of faith in specific teachings and rituals. The latter path also tends to be more punitive, and usually involves threats that the divine being(s) will punish the followers if they do a, b, c and if they don't do x, y, z. Since I believe that kind of thinking to be both false and harmful, I would be deeply saddened if she chose that. She has been raised with Buddhism (which is in my experience entirely mystic and not the "other") and also, more recently, the mystic side of the Christian tradition. I expect she'll continue with one of those, but I certainly don't mind if she doesn't. I just asked her what religion she is, and she said Buddhist. No surprise there. I also asked her if she believes in any God(s), and she said the Egyptian Gods! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm not exactly an atheist (I was for awhile, but it was a way of dealing with deep hurts, and it was just one phase of my journey) but I couldn't resist reading your post and all the interesting replies. I'm a panentheist and it matters little to me whether my daughter comes to believe in one God, many gods, or no god, or which "religion" (if any) she chooses. :D I'm getting way, way off topic here, but you're panentheist as opposed to pantheist? Just asking because so many people are not aware of panentheism, people I talk to anyway. That is definitely the way I lean also. Just nice to know I'm not alone. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Although I don't identify as an atheist, my conception of "God" is my own and not reflected in any organized religion of which I'm aware. However, I assume that my children will find their own paths by listening to what resonates with their own hearts. And I'll be just fine if they follow a path that is different from mine. I suppose one of the advantages of not believing that anyone who doesn't think what I think is wrong is that I don't have any baggage to lug along on the journey. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I wouldn't care if they chose to believe in god. I would care if they chose to adopt a "My beliefs are right and everyone else's are wrong" attitude, and I would also care if they used their religion to justify discriminating against others. Tara :iagree::iagree::iagree: astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secular_mom Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Since I believe that kind of thinking to be both false and harmful, I would be deeply saddened if she chose that. :iagree: I see so many possibly harmful paths in religion, that I would be very concerned if one of my children seemed to be on such a path. Otherwise, to each their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Eh, that's okay. We'll feel the same way if one of yours turns into a neo-hippy. Um....Jenny? :001_huh: It was a pun. A pun based on Rosie's post. But thanks for the well-wishes! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 :iagree: I see so many possibly harmful paths in religion, that I would be very concerned if one of my children seemed to be on such a path. Otherwise, to each their own. Yep, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to claim that faith is, in the end, anything other than UPG (unverifiable personal gnosis).;) As with some others, we aren't atheist, rather the opposite----we're polytheists. Honestly, I would probably have a harder time if she went New Age than if she went moderate to liberal Christian. Fundamentalist of any stripe would be really hard. It wouldn't entirely surprise me if she ended up Buddhist or Jewish at some point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I agree with a lot of the PPs that I wouldn't be upset if my kids aren't atheists. In fact, right now I take the hsers to Mass and CCE so they're Catholic although neither of them is old enough to have formed a real religious viewpoint yet. I'm not an atheist as a reaction against anything, it's just the logical conclusion of what I've experienced and studied. We have friends and family that are deeply religious, but it's never been an obstacle to our relationship. I would be upset if my kids joined a group that required them to break contact with non-believers, but really I think that anyone would. Oh, and I sincerely hope neither of them thinks they have a vocation. I wouldn't oppose them if they did, but I would like grandchildren. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I wouldn't care if they chose to believe in god. I would care if they chose to adopt a "My beliefs are right and everyone else's are wrong" attitude, and I would also care if they used their religion to justify discriminating against others. Tara :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I often wonder how hard it must be for a parent whose child has committed a crime. Do you give up on them or stand by them no matter what? I wonder about that as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm getting way, way off topic here, but you're panentheist as opposed to pantheist? Just asking because so many people are not aware of panentheism, people I talk to anyway. That is definitely the way I lean also. Just nice to know I'm not alone. Janet Wow, it is nice to meet another one! :D I only discovered the term recently, and instantly loved it: "that's what I am, I finally have a label." Pantheism was the closest I had found before that, but it didn't fit. I'm definitely a panentheist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Any well thought out spiritual path is fine by me as long as they practise it in a respectful way, hurting neither themselves nor anyone else. Each person has their own path to follow. Some people are called to follow a straight path, some are destined to a more winding road. Something many Christians on this board seem not to understand is that those of us who don't belong to an organised religion have less to lose by any change in spirituality, so it is not such a threat.Rosie Yes, it's the well-thought out path that I most agree with. I had a variety of religious experiences growing up and I didn't just wake up one day and decide I was an atheist. It was a long and slow process, and honestly I still have a hard time saying that word, "atheist" because I was raised to believe that was a bad thing. So if my kids went through the same process but came to a different conclusion, I could respect that. As long as they aren't homophobic or racist, etc., as a result. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 In general I wouldn't have a problem with it. If the religion that he chose disrespected those outside the group, however, I wouldn't be happy. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetfeet Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 (edited) How would you feel if as your child gets older they decide they believe there is a God? That is his/her choice to make. I would hope that they would keep an open mind and heart as that is what I hope stays with them. Have any of you already gone through this with a child? Sort of, my dd (6) likes to attend Catholic mass with her grandparents. We have no problem with that and if she were old enough to carefully make the decision to convert that would be fine. She hasn't mentioned converting nor do I think she understands how you become Catholic. However, I've been on the other side as the child finding religion with atheist parents. Obviously, my religious phase was short-lived. My parents helped me as much as they could. They would drive me to youth group, pay for things related to group, etc. They even attended a fund raiser. And after my trial run at Christianity they didn't mock me or say I told you so. Edited April 10, 2009 by sweetfeet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 But I do have strong opinions about the type of path that a person can chose within any given religion. In most religions, there is the mystic path, the one of personal spiritual experience which emphasizes compassion, simple living, and prayer/meditation, and then there is the other path which I don't quite know how to label, but it is more focused on obeying a certain behavioral code and putting a great deal of faith in specific teachings and rituals. The latter path also tends to be more punitive, and usually involves threats that the divine being(s) will punish the followers if they do a, b, c and if they don't do x, y, z. Since I believe that kind of thinking to be both false and harmful, I would be deeply saddened if she chose that. Yep, it's the latter type of behaviour that I was thinking of when I said I don't want them engaging in anything that would be hurtful to themselves. I believe ritual can be comforting, but when it moves from comforting or clarifying to threats and punishment, it's hurtful. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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