WTMindy Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Please don't call me, "Hon". You may call me ma'am, Mrs. Buller, or even Mindy. But, I don't like it when someone half my age that I do not know calls me "Hon"!! Have you noticed this new thing of waitresses calling people "Hon"? It irks me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I haven't noticed. But now I totally want to call you "Hon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oh, I'm fine if YOU call me Hon. We are friends (in a strange internet sort of way). We hang out together (in a strange internet sort of way). You are not half my age (at least I'm assumming you are not 20 years old.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Please don't call me, "Hon". You may call me ma'am, Mrs. Buller, or even Mindy. But, I don't like it when someone half my age that I do not know calls me "Hon"!! Have you noticed this new thing of waitresses calling people "Hon"? It irks me!! I usually have older waitresses do this. I feel like calling them sweetie-pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oh, I'm fine if YOU call me Hon. We are friends (in a strange internet sort of way). We hang out together (in a strange internet sort of way). You are not half my age (at least I'm assumming you are not 20 years old.) Yes. I've noticed. I'm tempted to respond with addressing them as "Pumpkin". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Aw, Mindy honey, I do hear ya Dude.... Who calls strangers hon or dude:confused:. I think I'd take hon over dude though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've always thought of it as a very old "diner" thing. Didn't Flo, on Alice, call customers "Hon"? It doesn't bother me. I think of it as Diner Lingo. I've never run into it at a coffee stand, though. Side story: When I was little, there was a waitress at our favorite diner (well, the only restaurant we ever went to) who called everyone "Doll". You'd walk in, and she'd yell, "Hi Doll!" Then, she'd call you Doll throughout the meal (Come this way, Doll. What can I get you, Doll. Thanks for coming, Doll. And, of course, "Hi Doll" to everyone else walking in.) She was legendary. The diner is still there, but the "Hi Doll" lady is long gone. But, they have a big sign as you walk in the door that reads, "Hi Doll!" I'm sure newbies have NO idea what it means. But us old fogies, who've been eating there for 40 years, know exactly what they're talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Waitress: Here you go, Hon. Mindy: Why thank you, Nummymuffincoocoobutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 An older woman at work (grocery store) does it and customers respond nicely. I'm the standard, "Hi! How are you?" who feels very weird about sounding so intimate with strangers. Now there are the regulars which I've come to know a little bit- but I still don't call them sweetie, hon or any other endearing remark...that is reserved for the little kids. In a way, it's kind of nice b/c it makes you feel like that person will take care of you although it's a false security. I'd rather smile, laugh and be personable than to call customers nicknames. That's just me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Waitress: Here you go, Hon. Mindy: Why thank you, Nummymuffincoocoobutter. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 May I add a note to the new (female, younger than me) pharmacist: Please don't call me Sweetheart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarheel Heather Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yes. I've noticed. I'm tempted to respond with addressing them as "Pumpkin". :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've always thought of it as a very old "diner" thing. Didn't Flo, on Alice, call customers "Hon"? It doesn't bother me. I think of it as Diner Lingo. I've never run into it at a coffee stand, though.. I don't have a problem when an older diner woman says it. It seems appropriate coming from Flo. But, the young girl with the nose ring? I guess I'm the older Flo who should be calling *her* Hon! :-) OK, so maybe I have a double standard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 The ONLY people who can get away with this, outside of people you'd assume would use those names like parents and such, are Southern Phone Operators. I love being their "hon" as long as they get me my phone number..... "I've told people that, too. I only like "hon" when it's the Phone Operator in a place like Georgia!" Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dooley Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I totally know what restaurant you are referring to...some of the best Mexican food around, right in that little strip mall. Personally, I loved La Salita, Mexican Kitchen and Rons Camino Real. Dont know if any are still around... I notice a lot of women here in the south talk to each other like that. The first time my neighbor called me "girl" (as in hey girl), I physically took a step back, just surprised me. But, its just a southern thang- I try to look on that stuff as a term of endearment or a colloquialism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm "sweetie" or "sweetheart" to both men and women. I'm not sure if that is a compliment or an insult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Awww...hon (LOL)...it's just a southern thannng. Oh wait...you are not in the South, are you? Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laylamcb Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I don't have a problem when an older diner woman says it. It seems appropriate coming from Flo. But, the young girl with the nose ring? I guess I'm the older Flo who should be calling *her* Hon! :-) OK, so maybe I have a double standard. I'm...strangely pleased to learn that there's a young nose ring-wearing barista who enjoys people enough to address one as "hon." That's awesome! I had this unreasonable, bigoted thing goin' in my little pea brain: Nose ring often = misanthrope. I'm delighted to learn that I'm so wrong. Gives me hope. I totally do think you should call her Nummymuffincoocoobutter, though, Mindy! That is TOO good. Bwaahahahahaha! :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria/ME Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I have to chime in on this one...I thought it was a regiional thing...around here, in ME, women almost exclusively do the "hon" thing, but it's usually "darlin'" They do it to younger women, women their age and even men, but rarely to women older than themselves. I'm with the poster who was talking about the Southern thing. My "BFF" and I once figured out you can say just about ANYTHING to any body if you say it with a Southern accent. Like "Excuse me, ya'll, but my fries are a little bit cold, if you'd take the time to add some customer service to your menu instead of chompin' on ya'lls gum and listening to your iPod, perhaps I could get some decent service...now run along and get me some HOT fries!" Just say that with a kindly southern accent and you'll get someplace. Say it with my Midwest accent and YIKES!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm "sweetie" or "sweetheart" to both men and women. I'm not sure if that is a compliment or an insult. I don't think I'd respond well to a man I didn't know calling me "sweetie". Sounds condescending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I just can't picture a young nose-ring wearing girl using "Hon." I think I would find it a pleasant change, though. I'm so tired of cashiers who either say almost nothing to you or who are stiffly polite. Some days I just want to shout, "Come on people, can't somebody have a personalty and be friendly for a change!" So, send all of the Hons, sweeties, sweathearts, darlings, and dolls over to Tacoma, ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Do you know, and this is something so new for me, I've started doing that? I have no idea why. I just find hon, sweetie, or girlie slipping out and I can't figure out where I picked it up from, but it just sounds so friendly and outgoing I can't help myself. It's not meant disrespectfully or disparagingly. It's just ... uber-friendly! :w00t: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 ...she's just sweet on you! :lol: OK, so I'm guilty of using terms of endearment. Hon' is a personal favorite. I have to admit, being called "hon" doesn't bother me at all as long as it's issued with a smile and impeccable service! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlockOfSillies Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Waitress: Here you go, Hon. Mindy: Why thank you, Nummymuffincoocoobutter. I wish I had the nerve to say something like that.:smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Do you call *your* girls that? If so, perhaps that's why it's coming out so easily for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm not in the south, but was born there and half my family is there. I call people "hon" and "sweetie". I sometimes come off blunt or rough. Saying hon and sweetie helps even out my tone and you just can't be nasty when saying those words with a good heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oh, Mindy! This is one of my biggest pet peeves!! I *hate* it when people call me "hon". And honestly, even when older people do it, I don't like it - if they use the same "tone", kwim? For me, it's all about the tone of voice. When it's the younger girls saying it, it just feels very...I dunno condescending? Lordly? Like they are in a position of authority or something. I know, I know. I'm taking it to an extreme. But it really gets under my skin for some reason. See? I'm all anxious just trying to figure out the right adjective to use! Now, older women can use the same tone. They can say it in a very condescending way also, and even then, even though they are older than I am, it still rubs me the wrong way. However, sometimes, and I'm betting this fits the majority of the women who have responded that they do this, the tone can be very sweet, very genuine and truly very kind. In that tone, it doesn't bother me a bit. In fact, it's almost endearing. Patronizing! That's the word I think I want! Grrr...yes. Yes, Mindy. I understand completely. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 but I still don't call them sweetie, hon or any other endearing remark...that is reserved for the little kids. See, I think that is why it bothers me so much. They are the words used when talking to little kids. I am not a little kid. Don't treat me like one. The other time it's used is when speaking to someone you have a close relationship with and as you said, in an endearing way - your spouse for instance. When a stranger calls me "Hon", they don't know me one iota, so don't reference me as if we're on that level. Yeah, seriously. It bothers me greatly, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 It's a good thing you don't live in Baltimore! It's a city-wide joke that everyone calls you Hon in Baltimore. In fact, on a major route into the city there's a "Welcome To Baltimore" sign. For years, someone would sneak up to the sign and put "Welcome to Baltimore HON" on the sign. The police would take it off, and a couple of days later, the HON would be there again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I have lived most of my life either in the South or in rural areas. I am very accustomed to Hon or Sweetie being offered as terms of distant endearment and general good will. And when offered in that spirit, I don't mind a bit. However, I find it quite offensive when it is obvious that those terms are being used merely as a rote form of address by an employee who obviously doesn't feel the least bit friendly toward the customers. "Come on, hon, move it so I can wait on the guy in line behind you." I expecially detest people who use those friendly terms in order to try to sell me something. I do not know you. I am not your friend. I will not buy anything from you just because you employ overly familiar words to try to create a false sense of relationship between us. I am not that stupid. You would get much farther with me by acurately answering all my questions about your products and providing good (real) customer service. There was an older man at the feed store who frequently called me Sweetie in a rather inappropriate and leering way. He stopped after that day when I responded, "Sure thing, but scoot over, Grandpa, so I can heft this feed sack into the car." Guess we weren't related after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I taught middle school children with a variety of disabilities. I frequently called them terms of endearment "sweetie", "hon", etc. I really did care about them, and it was said in a motherly way (even though I was only 10 years older than they were!). Then one day, some of the kids decided it was funny to call EACH OTHER those nicknames. So they would say, "Okay, sweetie!" and giggle their heads off, all the while looking at me. It was so cute! I miss those kids. And I feel very old knowing that they're all in their 30s now. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yes. I've noticed. I'm tempted to respond with addressing them as "Pumpkin". THAT would be perfect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawn of ns Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I just don't care if someone calls me Hon or Dear or something similar. A lot of people around here are from Newfoundland or Cape Breton where those words are used all the time simply as a way of addressing a woman. I never know what the cultural norms the person addressing me is familiar with so I don't think too much of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I wouldn't think anything of it. Of course, I've lived much of my life in the South. It's really not a big deal, imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm not going to get my panties in a wad over somebody who is trying to be nice. Hon, I'll take....Ma'am bugs me b/c it serves as a reminder that I'm no longer looking like a miss (or a hon). :001_smile: So, these poor customer service people...they're darned if they do and darned if they don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Ma'am bugs me b/c it serves as a reminder that I'm no longer looking like a miss (or a hon). :001_smile: Ma'am doesn't bug me, but does make me feel old(er), lol. Hey, I'm thrilled that in the last couple of weeks, I've been 'Miss' in a few places! :D It's all good, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yep, I feel old also...all the college kids on a particular religious board (and facebook) call me Mrs. W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I love to hear "hon", "sugar", and "sweet pea"...but when MIL calls me "dear" I KNOW she's mad! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oh, I'd rather be hon than ma'am. (Shudders) My dh didn't start calling waitresses hon until we moved to the south. If looks could kill the first time I heard him do it, until he explained the southern thing to me. I had a waitress touch me once. She put her hand on my back because they had screwed up our order. I was tired and hungry and if my precious son hadn't of been watching I would have body slammed her across the table. My dh teases about taking me back there so we can get the same waitress. Personal space, I like personal space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Hey, I just got called hon on the phone by a total stranger. I almost started laughing after she said it because of this thread! (And, normally, I would have hardly noticed it being slipped into the conversation.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 the age thing still applies. If the woman is older than you, you still call her "ma'am," even if you are 45 and she is 80. If there's less than 20 years difference and you know each other well, like good friends who have shared secrets, you can call each other sweetie, hon, and sugar. But if you are the younger girl and you address an older, unfamiliar person in that way.... well, it might be violating something along the lines of the Banana Pudding chain of command. Some may think it an indication of one's upbringing.... as in showing a lack of proper respect for one's elders... Personally, it does bother me when the kid is half my age and has no clue who I am. And in my experience, the young waitresses who do it, do it all through the meal, bouncing from hon to sweetie and back. I really don't like it when they address my husband in the same manner, as though he is in some roadhouse and I, the wife, am invisible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Please don't call me, "Hon". You may call me ma'am, Mrs. Buller, or even Mindy. But, I don't like it when someone half my age that I do not know calls me "Hon"!! Have you noticed this new thing of waitresses calling people "Hon"? It irks me!! Oh, a young male RN called me "dear" today in the elevator. I did not rip out his throat. He really doesn't know how lucky he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've never taken offense at being called any term of endearment when expressed in a friendly way. It is definitely common here in Texas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Awww...hon (LOL)...it's just a southern thannng. Oh wait...you are not in the South, are you? Oops. For equals in the South, that's cool, or if the lunch lady calls me hon, that's fine. (Any lunch lady, anywhere.) But if someone obviously very much younger calls me hon or dear or sweetheart in the South? Ooooh. That's just wrong. It's patronizing. Call me "ma'am" or don't call me anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm not going to get my panties in a wad over somebody who is trying to be nice.Hon, I'll take....Ma'am bugs me b/c it serves as a reminder that I'm no longer looking like a miss (or a hon). :001_smile: So, these poor customer service people...they're darned if they do and darned if they don't. Oh, but see, they'd NEVER call someone hon who was their own age. NEVER. They call me hon because they feel superior to me. At least that's what my twisted sense of righteousness tells me Every Single Time it happens! And yes, I do realize I am insane. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 For equals in the South, that's cool, or if the lunch lady calls me hon, that's fine. (Any lunch lady, anywhere.) But if someone obviously very much younger calls me hon or dear or sweetheart in the South? Ooooh. That's just wrong. It's patronizing. Call me "ma'am" or don't call me anything. You got that right! This sums it up. As a side to you, Pam. I hate it even worse when someone in the medical profession (from the receptionist to the nurse to the doctor) calls anyone by these aforementioned terms. It is demeaning squared when you are at the mercy of their care. Don't you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've never taken offense at being called any term of endearment when expressed in a friendly way. It is definitely common here in Texas. I know I'm strange (and slightly paranoid, lol), but it only started happening when I started getting a) plump and b) gray. I feel like one of those little old ladies in the nursing home. And it's common here in Tennessee, too, And it's not like I've never been guilty of saying it. :001_huh: I'm going to resurrect my formerly common practice of calling them "sugarlips" or "sugardumpling." Really, though, it's mostly with very young women or men that this makes me insane. Not with everybody who's just trying to be nice. And if they're older than me, I'm TOTALLY ok with it. (And again, I know this is probably a bit neurotic and over the top, but I'm ok with that. :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 (edited) You got that right! This sums it up. As a side to you, Pam. I hate it even worse when someone in the medical profession (from the receptionist to the nurse to the doctor) calls anyone by these aforementioned terms. It is demeaning squared when you are at the mercy of their care. Don't you think? Oh yes. Honestly, it's so ingrained here that when you walk into the nursing home and hear the infantilization of all the residents ("Sweetie, do we want our breakfast now?") that it just makes me grit my teeth. And then I struggle not to fall into the same habits, because it's simply EVERYwhere. (But if someone who I slip and call "Sweetheart" calls me "Sugarbritches" right back, I'll just chuckle, apologize, and admit I had that coming.) I fully admit I'm not 100% perfect with it. But it does drive me crazy. Oh, and I can remember calling someone on here (was it Aubrey, maybe?) a diminuative and got called on it (and very rightly so), so even here, where I do call people "sweetie" or "hon" when I'm trying to be sympathetic and encouraging, I try to think if it'll come across as patronizing or not. A lot for me (IRL) has to do with how well I know the person. Of course, if I know a younger person well enough to be familiar, they know enough not to address me as "hon." "Pam" will do just fine, TYVM. I would never, for example, call my mother's friend's "hon" when addressing them. It would be looked upon very negatively. Edited January 16, 2009 by Pam "SFSOM" in TN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I get a real kick when a younger guy calls me Miss. ;) See, now I find that amazingly patronizing. And in my Spanish class last fall, I learned that some cultures consider it a compliment and a sweet thing to do for a young man to call an (obviously) older woman "senorita." That would send me up a TREE! But now that I know that, I would clearly smile and accept the "compliment" gracefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 the age thing still applies. If the woman is older than you, you still call her "ma'am," even if you are 45 and she is 80. If there's less than 20 years difference and you know each other well, like good friends who have shared secrets, you can call each other sweetie, hon, and sugar. But if you are the younger girl and you address an older, unfamiliar person in that way.... well, it might be violating something along the lines of the Banana Pudding chain of command. Some may think it an indication of one's upbringing.... as in showing a lack of proper respect for one's elders... Yep, this is EXACTLY how I understand the Southern culture "rules." :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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