YIKES! Things are selling so fast and other issues with our move (help me decide or not decide as that is a decision too!) UPDATE in first post

[DawnM]

Taking out the updates as we have pretty much ruled out those homes.  We have one to look at Wed that looks promising.

 

ACK!   I am panicking a bit.

I have said before that we would like to have no HOA and get some land.   

There are VERY FEW homes that meet our criteria in this area.   There have been 5 and we have now looked at all of them.   Within this past week, 3 of them have gone under contract.   

NONE of them are perfect and I don't believe any of them will be because we are downsizing (not nearly as much fun as upsizing!) and we want land and no HOA, so we are looking at homes smaller than ours and much older than ours.

A few things we have already decided to budget for are:  An additional detached garage or equivalent sized workshop/shed, an unground pool, and a tiny house for our son with Autism (a large reason we are moving.)

However, this is what we are finding in the homes:

• None of them are without need of some fixing of some sort (I am speaking cosmetically here not structurally or HVAC or roof or anything)
• One of them didn't have a dining room or a den, it was a very odd layout and the master was so tiny
• None of them have adequate storage or large closets 
• I am just not excited about any of them and am worried I will regret buying something I am not excited about, but not sure I will ever be excited about downsizing, so I may have to just be excited about saving $1,500/mo.

We did some discussing after looking at 3 homes yesterday.   We talked about looking in another area but we are limited somewhat due to needing good schools for A and having a child in a state college so we can't cross the state line.  And we don't want to move too far out as I still have many years of work left and don't want to commute too far.

Do I have a point?   Hmmmm......maybe. 🤣......Let me tell you the plusses and minuses of the house we are contemplating and you give me feedback.   I am on the fence about this one.....speaking of fences, it needs that too! 

 

Concerns:

• Because of the scarcity of available homes with our criteria, we are very hesitant to put this house on the market before securing something.   That is partly because the houses in our current neighborhood are selling in days and so we aren't concerned about selling.
• We will buy something just because there is nothing else available and will regret it......
• NO house in our range has jumped out as a "WOW" factor home and I am not sure if I just need to get over it and realize we won't find a WOW home with land because all the homes on land are older.
• We could still buy land and build but it is significantly more expensive to do that and the land is at a premium (100k per acre if the land is not fully buildable throughout and almost $200k per acre for flat fully useable land.).  And we want 2 acres min.   

If you made it this far, what do you think?   Feedback?   Thoughts?   Have enough stress of your own and don't need mine added to it?

Edited June 26, 2023 by DawnM

[regentrude]

First thing that comes to mind: location, location,  location. Everything else is fixable. Do you love the property but are meh about the house? Buy it anyway. 

Which if the cons could you simply let go? Must you have a pool if you have a lake? which are non-negotiable?

To me, the much smaller space would be the only that would give me serious pause. A kitchen can be remodeled at some point, or made to work. The land is the land.

[kristin0713]

Well, I will just tell you our story and maybe that will help you. We sold our house in 2 days in October 2020. Moved in with my parents while we looked for something to buy. Got outbid over and over and over despite offering 30K over asking and adding in ridiculous escalation clauses. Finally decided to build. Builder number one said they could do what we wanted, then said no we can't do that. Ok. Builder number two contracted with us for a custom house; then the lumber prices skyrocketed (by now it was spring of 2021) and he bailed. Started looking at pre-owed houses again. Same story; outbid, nothing great, awful awful. FINALLY found our dream builder. Only problem - small lots only. We did originally want more property but we realized that this was the area we needed to compromise. This builder turned out to be wonderful. We have a custom house that is perfect for us and we don't need to fix anything or do renovations. We have great neighbors. But small .3 acre lot. Oh, and, we were living with my parents for a year and a half 🥴

If I ever do this again, I WILL NOT SELL FIRST. No way. In your situation, I would do whatever possible to get the land and custom build. Can you do something less conventional and live in a camper on the land while you build? Two campers if you have adult kids? I don't know. You really want land, and you have specific needs. I would not settle for a house that you don't like. Moving is hard enough; downsizing when you still need the space would be miserable. 

[Katy]

I’d wait for the wow and prepare to put in an offer the same day. And if after a set period of time (a year or whatever) I couldn’t find what I wanted I’d plan on building. 

[DawnM]

12 minutes ago, Katy said:

I’d wait for the wow and prepare to put in an offer the same day. And if after a set period of time (a year or whatever) I couldn’t find what I wanted I’d plan on building. 

Our hesitation with that is having to make A change schools yet again.  

[Faith-manor]

Location is everything. Normally, I would say wait for the right house. But, the thing is, you have so many limitations such as commuting distance and the need to put up a tiny house for your son and that takes so many properties out of contention that what are the chances of the just right place actually coming on the market and in a price tag you can afford? Maybe it is out there, but by the time it is for sale, you might end up eating your$1500 a month savings in order to get it, and especially where the schools are that good. Here, the best school district for 100 miles, has an average sale time of 24 hrs before they are under contract, and some of the highest building prices in the state. In our district, 45 minutes further out in rural la la land, it takes 3-6 months for a good home to sell, and acreage that is zoned for residential and not prime agriculture, is only $6000-10,000 an acre. So it is a big, big difference. I don't think there is a chance in hell of 2-5 acres plus house plus lake/pond, plus zoning to allow a tiny house even within the good school district. Just not happening. So if you find something that you can make work, and do not mind putting on am addition, having all the cosmetic work done, then I think you probably need to just adjust to not letting perfect become the enemy of good.

 

[DawnM]

24 minutes ago, regentrude said:

First thing that comes to mind: location, location,  location. Everything else is fixable. Do you love the property but are meh about the house? Buy it anyway. 

Which if the cons could you simply let go? Must you have a pool if you have a lake? which are non-negotiable?

To me, the much smaller space would be the only that would give me serious pause. A kitchen can be remodeled at some point, or made to work. The land is the land.

Land is very hard to get, I think that is why we haven't said no to some houses that are "meh"

20 minutes ago, kristin0713 said:

Well, I will just tell you our story and maybe that will help you. We sold our house in 2 days in October 2020. Moved in with my parents while we looked for something to buy. Got outbid over and over and over despite offering 30K over asking and adding in ridiculous escalation clauses. Finally decided to build. Builder number one said they could do what we wanted, then said no we can't do that. Ok. Builder number two contracted with us for a custom house; then the lumber prices skyrocketed (by now it was spring of 2021) and he bailed. Started looking at pre-owed houses again. Same story; outbid, nothing great, awful awful. FINALLY found our dream builder. Only problem - small lots only. We did originally want more property but we realized that this was the area we needed to compromise. This builder turned out to be wonderful. We have a custom house that is perfect for us and we don't need to fix anything or do renovations. We have great neighbors. But small .3 acre lot. Oh, and, we were living with my parents for a year and a half 🥴

If I ever do this again, I WILL NOT SELL FIRST. No way. In your situation, I would do whatever possible to get the land and custom build. Can you do something less conventional and live in a camper on the land while you build? Two campers if you have adult kids? I don't know. You really want land, and you have specific needs. I would not settle for a house that you don't like. Moving is hard enough; downsizing when you still need the space would be miserable. 

Thank you.   Def. worth considering.

And you are right......getting the exact house we need for our family and needs would be great.   

The land we are looking at does have some covenant restrictions even though there is no HOA so I am not sure about putting trailers or tiny houses one it while we build.

[DawnM]

Just now, Faith-manor said:

Location is everything. Normally, I would say wait for the right house. But, the thing is, you have so many limitations such as commuting distance and the need to put up a tiny house for your son and that takes so many properties out of contention that what are the chances of the just right place actually coming on the market and in a price tag you can afford? Maybe it is out there, but by the time it is for sale, you might end up eating your$1500 a month savings in order to get it, and especially where the schools are that good. Here, the best school district for 100 miles, has an average sale time of 24 hrs before they are under contract, and some of the highest building prices in the state. In our district, 45 minutes further out in rural la la land, it takes 3-6 months for a good home to sell, and acreage that is zoned for residential and not prime agriculture, is only $6000-10,000 an acre. So it is a big, big difference. I don't think there is a chance in hell of 2-5 acres plus house plus lake/pond, plus zoning to allow a tiny house even within the good school district. Just not happening. So if you find something that you can make work, and do not mind putting on am addition, having all the cosmetic work done, then I think you probably need to just adjust to not letting perfect become the enemy of good.

 

I am leaning this way too.   

I told DH we can just shove the garage full until we build another detached garage with storage above it.

[Bambam]

The last two houses we bought were 'meh' - okay but not ideal. There was not time to find - or possibly it did not exist - an ideal house. 
We moved every two years when I was a child (military brat), and I was used to my mom making due. We just lived with the house/location we ended up with and tried to emphasize the good and ignore the bad. That was her philosophy and I've tried to adopt it as well. 

If you can do that, concentrate on the positives and work around/find fixes for the negatives, and decide to be happy there *regardless* of the imperfections because it meets most of your needs at the time, that will help you decide - making a list of positives of that house vs positives on the current house, same with negative for both places. 

The need to move seems to be your DH's desire to get out of HOA + desire for more land and the timing issue is now due to wanting child not to have to change schools later, then the only thing determining the timing is changing schools. Is it possible in your area to pay extra $$ to get your kid into a public school in an area  you are more liking to find the desired new home? (It is here in a few places but it is unusual)  

IMHO the ideal house does not exist. You can build what you think is the ideal house, but later you will find there are things that you wish you had done differently. So, for me, location (both how close to things/neighborhood/safety/route to/from common destinations/etc) + general house requirements helps me to determine a house that is the best fit for us. It's super hard right now because houses are staying longer on the market here but still not very long. Can you assign a weight (percentage/priority/whatever) to each of your requirements and evaluate each possible house based on those? 

[Ottakee]

If the house you are considering dose not allow single wide trailers in the area (one’s next door are grandfathered in) then I am not sure that you could build/move a tiny house for your son on the property.   Check, double check, talk with zoning administrator, and get it in writing.    I just know that the rural township I recently moved from would not allow that even on more than 5 acres.

[DawnM]

ARGH!   We just heard back from the covenant restrictions and they said no tiny house and a detached garage ONLY if they approve it and it matches the house.   And NO 2nd dwellings, so we would need to do an apt above the garage and couch it as an "office" space, but that would change our plans.

We are discussing.

Only ONE house has no restrictions at all but it will need the most $$ poured into it.

[catz]

I will just say last time we bought it was a hot market.   Patience was hard but it paid off eventually.   Not that we got a perfect house.  No home is perfect.  But we did get a good house in a great location at a comfortable price point.  Given your constraints may require more patience.  I’d be mindful of spending too much on a house that may need a ton of work and $$$$ to get it where you need it to be.  

[Faith-manor]

Just now, Ottakee said:

If the house you are considering dose not allow single wide trailers in the area (one’s next door are grandfathered in) then I am not sure that you could build/move a tiny house for your son on the property.   Check, double check, talk with zoning administrator, and get it in writing.    I just know that the rural township I recently moved from would not allow that even on more than 5 acres.

This. Zoning is gong to be a thing, a very big thing. It is likely more feasible to have an efficiency apartment above a garage than a free standing tiny home. One reason for this is so many zoning boards are cracking down on having these cutie, patootie cabins with all the amenities on private land that already has a main home because everyone turns them into short term vacation rentals. In our area, people were doing that, advertising on social media, not signing up for ABB or other service, and taking cash under the table so they could hide the income and not pay taxes. Though our rural zoning has always been pretty much, "do what you want with your own land so long as it isn't an egregious thing to look at", they have now zoned big time against it such that I cannot have a bathroom in any out building unless I am zoned agricultural, and then a barn can have one for employees. So we could have a cabin/tiny house with electric but no plumbing indoors. A composting toilet would be doable.

Dawn, if you really want the tiny house instead of a low key living space over the garage, you may have to move further out, commute, and pay tuition to have A in a good school. Unfortunately, living outside of town or rural near a town no longer comes with a 1950's, " It's my land and I will do what I want" option anymore except where parcels are much further out, and zoning boards do not care. This usually means quite low population areas.

[Scarlett]

I think you just have to keep your goals in mind.  Saving money monthly, good schools, land, a place for your aspie. 
 

I just saw this place you just described has an HOA?  I thought you wanted to get away from those?

[Kidlit]

We're in our third home in 24 years.   We've never had a home that ticked all the boxes.  Housing prices in our city have skyrocketed since we bought our first home--as in it sold for $100K more than we paid for it sixteen years later with nowhere near that much in remodeling/upgrades.  I have made peace with, over time, making my homes what I like.  We did significant work on our last house (a complete remodel of the kitchen--we changed the footprint--and we put up a plank ceiling ourselves), and it sold in one day mostly thanks to that kitchen.  All that to say--most of the time I look at houses as a project, even when I don't really want to.   We bought our current house because it is the right size (smaller than our last monstrosity but not the typical 2k sq feet of most houses in our price range), has an in ground pool, and is down the street from my mil whom we depend on for a lot of help with getting our younger kids to and from school.  It also happens to be a few blocks away from my job--it's basically smack in the middle of town, but we have a large corner (double?) lot with a couple of mature trees. Does it need a lot of work (in this case, as it turns out, some structural and a whole lot cosmetic)?  Yes. We're finally in the beginning planning phases of starting this work. But--all of that is to say that for me, finding some things I like and adapting to or changing the rest has been the name of the game.  I can't say for sure we'll never build (my sister is building a house on my parents' land right now and we've considered it), but the cost and convenience of already-built structures has won out for us.  And school had a DEFINITE impact on buying this house when we did it. 
 

ETA:  I've never lived anywhere with a HOA.  It goes against my personality, my pocketbook, and what I believe about home ownership. I'm not saying I'll never--just that I'd have to do a lot of mental work and acceptance to be told what I can and can't do to my own property. 🤣

Edited June 22, 2023 by Kidlit

[Carrie12345]

The only thing I have to add is that it’s EXTREMELY unlikely that the market is going to get any easier to buy. And, of course, competition is highest on the best houses.

My building experience doesn’t really apply because I got an incredible 1.25 acre lot for $25k, almost rock bottom interest, and locked into price before the biggest increases.   
Had that not been the case, our location demands would have necessitated settling and working with what we got.  
You really can’t create other options.

[Faith-manor]

Dawn, the only other option I see, and this would be a rare option since these types of things rarely happen, is buying a chunk of land that the zoning board then allows you to subdivide the property, sell him a piece on paper, and then fund the construction of a small house that meets the minimum zoning board requirements. Of course it means if it isn't on city water and sewer, you have to fund a well and septic since you cannot tie into your own which is of course pricey, but I am not sure you can work around that in your state. 

[Ottakee]

Another option would be a daylight or walk out basement with an apartment down there for him.   I did that for my daughter with special needs.  She has 2 bedrooms, living room, kitchen/dining area and bath.

i know your son has issues with noise/sound but super sound proofing it would likely be cheaper than a separate place.     
 

or building a wing in the back of the house for him connected by a hallway so it isn’t considered a separate dwelling.

Just brainstorming here for you with what I have done and what my other friends with special needs young adults have done…..all within that pesky zoning stufff

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, Kidlit said:

We're in our third home in 24 years.   We've never had a home that ticked all the boxes.  Housing prices in our city have skyrocketed since we bought our first home--as in it sold for $100K more than we paid for it sixteen years later with nowhere near that much in remodeling/upgrades.  I have made peace with, over time, making my homes what I like.  We did significant work on our last house (a complete remodel of the kitchen--we changed the footprint--and we put up a plank ceiling ourselves), and it sold in one day mostly thanks to that kitchen.  All that to say--most of the time I look at houses as a project, even when I don't really want to.   We bought our current house because it is the right size (smaller than our last monstrosity but not the typical 2k sq feet of most houses in our price range), has an in ground pool, and is down the street from my mil whom we depend on for a lot of help with getting our younger kids to and from school.  It also happens to be a few blocks away from my job--it's basically smack in the middle of town, but we have a large corner (double?) lot with a couple of mature trees. Does it need a lot of work (in this case, as it turns out, some structural and a whole lot cosmetic)?  Yes. We're finally in the beginning planning phases of starting this work. But--all of that is to say that for me, finding some things I like and adapting to or changing the rest has been the name of the game.  I can't say for sure we'll never build (my sister is building a house on my parents' land right now and we've considered it), but the cost and convenience of already-built structures has won out for us.  And school had a DEFINITE impact on buying this house when we did it. 
 

ETA:  I've never lived anywhere with a HOA.  It goes against my personality, my pocketbook, and what I believe about home ownership. I'm not saying I'll never--just that I'd have to do a lot of mental work and acceptance to be told what I can and can't do to my own property. 🤣

We would have preferred not to have a HOA.

But it was NOT a top priority when we bought our house -- getting into a house before my son started Kindergarten so we did not have to move again/change schools again was higher.

So I when I discovered there were few no-HOA houses in the location we wanted to live in and our price range.  (And those were being snapped up FAST -- actually ALL the houses were selling fast. We arranged before the weekend 5 houses to look at. 2 were sold before we could even see them! I think this house lingered on the market (It'd been there 30 days) because there were renters living in it (2 families) and they piled their stuff such that it was hard to see the house/hung around when we were viewing.  So making the whole thing uncomfortable. And the seller was living overseas.

I researched HOAs and decided which neighborhoods seemed to have sane HOAs and focused our looking only in those neighborhoods.

 

[Jaybee]

This is only to reply to one little point on your lists. Once you get the solution for your older ds figured out, one of the bedrooms could be repurposed as a small den/hang out room. Perhaps with a pullout sofa or Murphy so it could double if you also needed it for a guest room.

[Bambam]

We live in an HOA and always will, but my needs are slightly different than yours. 
If an HOA is sane this year, there is no telling what will happen with any new board. Ours was sane and reasonable when we moved in, it is not now. 
But we have friends who live in no-HOA areas, and let's just say some of the neighbors are living/doing less than desirable neighbor things. So, there are some advantages to some restrictions where you build - unless you live on enough land that you are isolated  - and even that can be hard depending upon neighboring land. 

[Faith-manor]

Just now, Bambam said:

We live in an HOA and always will, but my needs are slightly different than yours. 
If an HOA is sane this year, there is no telling what will happen with any new board. Ours was sane and reasonable when we moved in, it is not now. 
But we have friends who live in no-HOA areas, and let's just say some of the neighbors are living/doing less than desirable neighbor things. So, there are some advantages to some restrictions where you build - unless you live on enough land that you are isolated  - and even that can be hard depending upon neighboring land. 

This is a valid point. If you live where zoning laws are lax AND there are no HOA's, neighbors can big a big issue. The best thing is fences and tree lines. If you can be fairly well surrounded by trees, it doesn't matter so much what the neighbors are doing.

We aren't all that well liked because most of our neighbors are retired and want their perfectly manicured lawn, and want everyone else to have them. But, those are really not healthy for the environment, and in our heavily agricultural area, super bad for attracting and providing habitat for pollinators. The zoning laws are pretty much exclusively pro agriculture and wilding areas/buffers. So we have one corner of our one acre, that is just wild. We stopped mowing it, tossed wildflower seed, and let whatever comes up, come up. Currently it has wildflowers, weeds, and some small trees in it. We have several raised bed gardens going, and then a wild area under a huge blue spruce tree that we refuse to mow/edge. There is an old flower bed in the front that we let go to milkweed pods and other "weeds" that are butterfly attractions. And we do not mow until all the dandelions are spent which means we push the envelope right to the edge of the tallest we can let our lawn get, and the ordinance on "lawns" is so loose, we could probably get away with longer anyway since our town is unincorporated so technically not a town, technically not a residential area except that it is a tiny town of 200 people and a bunch of houses. And I don't really care what the neighbors think or if they get mad. Climate change is real. Pollinators are endangered. We have a major agricultural crisis that isn't going to get better any time soon, and people need to get ON BOARD with mitigating the effects. So ya. We are the kinds of neighbors a lot of people would not like having next door. We are quiet. We don't party. Heck, we almost never entertain anymore. There is no blight. But if I can figure out a way to out this entire yard to raised beds, and clover or something, there won't be a lawn left, and the lawn mower will go away!

Definitely, something to think about. And some folks around here also allow their paint, siding, etc. get pretty bad because they don't want to fix up the exterior and have higher property taxes if they are staying put and not worried about resale value. So that is a thing too.

[vonfirmath]

18 minutes ago, Bambam said:

We live in an HOA and always will, but my needs are slightly different than yours. 
If an HOA is sane this year, there is no telling what will happen with any new board. Ours was sane and reasonable when we moved in, it is not now. 
But we have friends who live in no-HOA areas, and let's just say some of the neighbors are living/doing less than desirable neighbor things. So, there are some advantages to some restrictions where you build - unless you live on enough land that you are isolated  - and even that can be hard depending upon neighboring land. 

We have a management company. And I've found, with a management company, the consistency of rules being applied remains fairly consistent.  New HOA rules are REALLY hard to put in place due to the percentages needed. (We had one board member wanted to put in a community pool. Tried for a few years before giving up and selling their house to buy a house in a community with a pool already) So in our case, it has remained sane through many board changes. There are complaints, of course. ANd some people who just ignore the HOA and do what they want (and cause complaints about "why don't you send notes to THEM -- when the HOA board IS they are just being ignored)

Edited June 22, 2023 by vonfirmath

[prairiewindmomma]

Don’t forget if you are considering acreage that you need to give thought to maintenance (mowing and driveway) and to internet access.

I’d also give serious thought to main bedroom location and stairs. We often think about aging in place as being something we need in our 80s…but my knees and ankles really feel our stairs these days.

[fraidycat]

It sounds to me like you've got too many competing "priorities" and that is making is extra-stressful.

It's home-selling/buying "season" right now so things will move fast, of course.

I think you need to list your one priority and then other main criteria on an index card. Like a checklist of what the property MUST have for you to buy.  It sounds like a separate dwelling is very high on your list, so an existing separate dwelling or ability to add one might be #1, then everything else is "would be great, but can live without or make-do".

Like a previous poster said - location, location, location. Everything else is figure-outable. Location/short commute would be my #1 priority hands down. Lesson learned on that one, thankfully it was just a rental so we could easily move.

Cosmetic fixes wouldn't even really enter into my decision-making process, as long as it is a liveable space. Structurally sound and enough bedrooms and bathrooms to get by for now until you get the 2nd dwelling added would be what I would look for. Paint, cabinets, etc. are all easily changed. Land cannot be picked up and moved.

ETA: Having A move schools between grades when he'd change classrooms anyway would be lower on my scale of considerations to give more time to find something that works long term, even if it is next year. Pick the area(s) you have targeted as perfect location, county rules (can add structures if you want - workshop, garage, apartment or tiny house) etc. Then watch for the "perfect" place. It might pop up in January. In the meantime, you can make repairs, declutter, move stuff into storage, and get ready to sell next spring or whenever you find your perfect place.

Edited June 22, 2023 by fraidycat

[vonfirmath]

I know you don't want to move your son schools (I had the same priority) But-- it is already the end of June. It might be best to sit tight for a year. REally watch what comes up for sale and start studying the restrictions of various areas. Don't move in a hurry to regret at leisure later.

We started looking for a house -- in February I think. Did a lot of leg work and such. X'd out large areas that we were not willing to live in. Drove to houses for sale and felt out the areas. Even had a couple I went to multiple times to see how the area felt at different times of day. Reached out to the community to hear about the schools. Etc. Realized others were impossible in our budget. Etc. And was able to start prioritizing what really mattered as we saw what was really available. I think we looked at houses/put in an offer at the end of March or beginning of April and ended up closing at the end of June. (June 29?) 

We spent July making changes and moved in at the beginning of August. (My daughter was born Aug 10 in House A. We lived in rental B for most of the intervening year and moved in to this House by her first birthday)

 

(rental B was somewhat rural and Internet was TERRIBLE. I did NOT want to spend a second year there. Alongside not wanting my son to start K in the school he'd have had to go to)

Edited June 22, 2023 by vonfirmath

[vonfirmath]

Oh and even though I'm VERY Glad we moved. I panicked at the end of our option period, after the inspection came up with so much "Wrong" And worried we were making the wrong decision/had moved too fast. My realtor and husband both helped me realize YES it is a big decision. Not perfect but the best we could find and pulling out/starting over would not necessarily get us anything better. AND We would definitely lose our chance for our son to start school. Basically reminding me of the pros of the reason we bought this house and it does have some definite good bones AND more property than houses in the neighborhoods with "better" schools. (Same school district. But there is definitely richer and poorer ends of town and we're on the poorer side.)

 

[dsmith]

I haven't read all the replies, and don't know the laws in your area, but where I live it would not be legal to build a tiny house on a property with an existing house, but we are in the suburbs, 25 minutes from NYC. In our area mother/daughter set ups were popular but I'm not sure if they are still around with the current real estate market in our area. We used to think that we would buy a 2 family some day for us and our s/n son but two-families are a hot commodity here. My neighbor and a family member co-owned a two-family in town, and it is really run down. They sold as-is for over $600,000, to real estate investors. It was listed at $450,000. But maybe a 2-family or mother/daughter set up would be more feasible in your area? 

[QueenCat]

I would hold off rather than make a decision that it sounds like you are likely to regret later. You'll never find perfect but you need to find something better suited for you.

[TravelingChris]

7 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I think you just have to keep your goals in mind.  Saving money monthly, good schools, land, a place for your aspie. 
 

I just saw this place you just described has an HOA?  I thought you wanted to get away from those?

No, covenants are different from HOA.  When we moved to NM, the house we bought had covenants- no more than one yard sale a year and no agricultural animals allowed.  But there were no other restrictions, except of course, zoning restrictions that didn't affect us/   When you are looking a the house contract to decide if you want to make an offer, covenants need to be spelled out.   HOAs are completely different.  While they may have rules in writing, these can always change. Plus they tend to be much more pickier- with regards to parking, yards, colors, etc.

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

No, covenants are different from HOA.  When we moved to NM, the house we bought had covenants- no more than one yard sale a year and no agricultural animals allowed.  But there were no other restrictions, except of course, zoning restrictions that didn't affect us/   When you are looking a the house contract to decide if you want to make an offer, covenants need to be spelled out.   HOAs are completely different.  While they may have rules in writing, these can always change. Plus they tend to be much more pickier- with regards to parking, yards, colors, etc.

I am pretty sure the HOA is the ruling entity over the covenants. 
I realize the covenants  vary greatly.

[TravelingChris]

50 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I am pretty sure the HOA is the ruling entity over the covenants. 
I realize the covenants  vary greatly.

I lived in a community with no HOA at all.  I am not sure what we would do if someone violated the rules.   No one did.

[DawnM]

11 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I think you just have to keep your goals in mind.  Saving money monthly, good schools, land, a place for your aspie. 
 

I just saw this place you just described has an HOA?  I thought you wanted to get away from those?

It says "No HOA" but then has covenant restrictions which looks like it is essentially the same thing.   UGH.

Our realtor has been asking them about an apt above the garage and even sent a pic of what we were looking to do and we have been told that they cannot give us a yes or no before we move in, provide detailed plans, etc.....

I am NOT moving to a place with a "maybe" and needing to wait for them to decide what we can and cannot do.   That house is off the list.

[DawnM]

5 hours ago, QueenCat said:

I would hold off rather than make a decision that it sounds like you are likely to regret later. You'll never find perfect but you need to find something better suited for you.

You are free to come try to talk to my husband.  *I* am. not the issue.

[DawnM]

9 hours ago, Jaybee said:

This is only to reply to one little point on your lists. Once you get the solution for your older ds figured out, one of the bedrooms could be repurposed as a small den/hang out room. Perhaps with a pullout sofa or Murphy so it could double if you also needed it for a guest room.

No, we currently can only find homes with 4 bedrooms in our price range, so all the bedrooms will be used/taken.   

[DawnM]

11 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

Dawn, the only other option I see, and this would be a rare option since these types of things rarely happen, is buying a chunk of land that the zoning board then allows you to subdivide the property, sell him a piece on paper, and then fund the construction of a small house that meets the minimum zoning board requirements. Of course it means if it isn't on city water and sewer, you have to fund a well and septic since you cannot tie into your own which is of course pricey, but I am not sure you can work around that in your state. 

There are NO parcels for sale that are more than one parcel so it cannot be sub-divided.   

[prairiewindmomma]

The “best” properties generally list March-May. Stuff through the rest of the year usually lists because of divorce, death, or unexpected relo. You can ask your realtor for details on what your market looks like, but not finding something now doesn’t mean you might not find great stuff next spring.

Edited June 23, 2023 by prairiewindmomma

[DawnM]

12 hours ago, Ottakee said:

If the house you are considering dose not allow single wide trailers in the area (one’s next door are grandfathered in) then I am not sure that you could build/move a tiny house for your son on the property.   Check, double check, talk with zoning administrator, and get it in writing.    I just know that the rural township I recently moved from would not allow that even on more than 5 acres.

The houses that don't have any restrictions are fine to put it on, in fact, when we have looked at neighborhoods where they allow RVs to be parked in the driveway, we got motivated to start looking at tiny homes online and there is a dealer near me who makes them RV/Trailer certified.   That would work.

We have a house to look at Saturday (provided it is still available) and it is in OUR current school zone.   It is a little smaller than we would like but the price reflects that and would allow us to add on.   But the interesting thing is that there are no restrictions at all and several of the 12 homes in that "neighborhood" had RVs or travel trailer sitting out.   And no, it was not junky at all.  Everyone keeps up their yard/lawn/area.

But the house is white and the detached garage is white, so a WHITE tiny house behind it (there are woods back there so no one will see it anyway) won't be very noticed.

[DawnM]

4 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

The “best” properties generally list March-May. Stuff through the rest of the year usually lists because of divorce, death, or unexpected relo. You can ask your realtor for details on what your market looks like, but not finding something now doesn’t mean you might not find great stuff next spring.

I am sure there will be some next year, and the next, but I really don't want to wait a full year to move.   For one thing.....my husband is an accountant.   Our house cannot be listed before about May.   

And then there is the issue of changing schools.   When I say very few homes in our current area have land and no HOAs, I mean, it is extremely hard to find.   I am hoping the one that just got listed might work.   We will see.

[QueenCat]

14 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I am pretty sure the HOA is the ruling entity over the covenants. 
I realize the covenants  vary greatly.

One of the cities we used to live had covenants that were similar to what one might find in an HOA. But they were governed by the city. They included things like house/shutter colors, fence rules, etc. 

[Terabith]

I think the odds that you’re going to find what you need in the time allotted are infinitesimal.  I am just not sure that it’s realistic, and I think you might need to compromise on what is the most important.  Or be willing to wait, perhaps for years.  

Edited June 23, 2023 by Terabith

[KungFuPanda]

What if instead of searching for no HOA you searched for a property that already has what you want. Is there anything with a 3 car garage or outbuilding and an in-law suite w/kitchenette  for your son?

[BusyMom5]

Short term lease until something comes available?  

[Faith-manor]

15 hours ago, DawnM said:

I am sure there will be some next year, and the next, but I really don't want to wait a full year to move.   For one thing.....my husband is an accountant.   Our house cannot be listed before about May.   

And then there is the issue of changing schools.   When I say very few homes in our current area have land and no HOAs, I mean, it is extremely hard to find.   I am hoping the one that just got listed might work.   We will see.

Dawn, will you get to see it today?

I hope it will work!

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

What if instead of searching for no HOA you searched for a property that already has what you want. Is there anything with a 3 car garage or outbuilding and an in-law suite w/kitchenette  for your son?

We thought about that, but there is nothing.   In all the years we have looked for homes, I have never found a guesthouse or apt above the garage.   We need to add it.   

The realtor even suggested it and I told her if she can find it, we will look at it.   

But there isn't anything.   

And there are other things we absolutely will not compromise on.   I won't list them all here but one is privacy.   We want forest/trees/something.   We will never live in a neighborhood where you walk outside and see all your neighbors back yards.   

And, HOAs mean monthly dues, rules about parking cars when friends visit, rules about getting your trash cans in by a certain time, rules about storing our flatbed trailer, rules about DH's wordworking tools, etc, etc, etc.....

 

[DawnM]

50 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

Dawn, will you get to see it today?

I hope it will work!

Not until tomorrow.   

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, BusyMom5 said:

Short term lease until something comes available?  

That is problematic and BY FAR not a preference.

That will mean moving into a storage unit for a while *(or three like we had to have last time!) which means moving all our stuff twice.  and it will mean A starts school in a. transient place and have to change schools after school starts.

And it will send my Autistic son through the roof to not have his stuff for any length of time and no SPACE.   

We really, really hope not to do this.  

AND, the biggest reason is because we are getting discouraged and dont' want to sell and have nothing lined up and not knowing when or if we will find something.

[DawnM]

Inventory is def. down.   People are holding on to their 3% mortgages and don't want to change to a 6% interest rate, so some who might have moved are holding on for now.

We are trying to make some good financial decisions here, but we will see what pans out.  

[DawnM]

On 6/22/2023 at 8:39 AM, Kidlit said:

We're in our third home in 24 years.   We've never had a home that ticked all the boxes.  Housing prices in our city have skyrocketed since we bought our first home--as in it sold for $100K more than we paid for it sixteen years later with nowhere near that much in remodeling/upgrades.  I have made peace with, over time, making my homes what I like.  We did significant work on our last house (a complete remodel of the kitchen--we changed the footprint--and we put up a plank ceiling ourselves), and it sold in one day mostly thanks to that kitchen.  All that to say--most of the time I look at houses as a project, even when I don't really want to.   We bought our current house because it is the right size (smaller than our last monstrosity but not the typical 2k sq feet of most houses in our price range), has an in ground pool, and is down the street from my mil whom we depend on for a lot of help with getting our younger kids to and from school.  It also happens to be a few blocks away from my job--it's basically smack in the middle of town, but we have a large corner (double?) lot with a couple of mature trees. Does it need a lot of work (in this case, as it turns out, some structural and a whole lot cosmetic)?  Yes. We're finally in the beginning planning phases of starting this work. But--all of that is to say that for me, finding some things I like and adapting to or changing the rest has been the name of the game.  I can't say for sure we'll never build (my sister is building a house on my parents' land right now and we've considered it), but the cost and convenience of already-built structures has won out for us.  And school had a DEFINITE impact on buying this house when we did it. 

 

We haven't ever had a home that ticked every box either.  We have owned 4 homes in our 28 year marriage.   And yes, schools are important.   
 

ETA:  I've never lived anywhere with a HOA.  It goes against my personality, my pocketbook, and what I believe about home ownership. I'm not saying I'll never--just that I'd have to do a lot of mental work and acceptance to be told what I can and can't do to my own property. 🤣

It goes against ours too and we have never lived in an HOA until now.   We hope to never do it again, although we might consider one of the homes with covenant restrictions because we can't seem to find houses on land and we are limited in what is available.