my mother can't spell my son's name

[Nicole M]

A card arrived today for "Ely." Over the years my mother has spelled my son's name Eliah, Elijah (not his name) Elias (also not his name) and now Ely. It's Eli. Three letters, "i" at the end. Why is this hard, for goodness' sake? I have corrected her, my siblings correct her, she receives thank you notes and cards signed by him, but she just plain "likes it better" with the y.

 

My son is turning 17 on Thursday, so she's had plenty of time to learn the correct spelling. When Eli looked at the card today he said, "Interesting. She's stuck with this spelling longer than the others." And we did giggle.

 

This is the woman who gave my younger son a Ficus plant for his 10th birthday. This year she didn't even send #2 son a card, but called a few days later to say that money was tight so she didn't send a gift or card, but she had some books to send for Eli that she'd just read. Okay.

 

It's so incredibly odd. I'm pretty much sure my mother suffers from "cluster B" personality disorder, but spelling issues aren't usually a symptom, are they?

 

I accept that this is her, but wow. Weird.

 

[ETA: My youngest just asked what I was doing, and I told him. He said, "Aw, Grandma should have been born a couple hundred years ago before spelling was standardized. Born late, that's her problem." I wish!]

Edited December 15, 2008 by Nicole M
funny

[Desert Rat]

I'm 37 years old and my grandmother still can't spell my name correctly. She's alleviated this issue by shortening my name to Kay. I don't go by Kay and never have. :o) I think she refused to learn the correct spelling because I was named after my paternal grandma (who died when my dad was 10) and there was no nod to her in my name. I think it's pretty endearing now, but I remember being pretty ticked when I was your son's age not to mention how my mom fumed!

[WTMindy]

Oh, I think it is wonderful how your kids have a good sense of humor about the whole thing! That shows that you must be modeling that for them. A ficus tree? I'm sorry, but that is funny!! It sounds like you probably are not going to change her at this point, so it is probably best to keep on smiling.

[Nicole M]

I'm 37 years old and my grandmother still can't spell my name correctly. She's alleviated this issue by shortening my name to Kay. I don't go by Kay and never have. :o) I think she refused to learn the correct spelling because I was named after my paternal grandma (who died when my dad was 10) and there was no nod to her in my name. I think it's pretty endearing now, but I remember being pretty ticked when I was your son's age not to mention how my mom fumed!

 

Kalah is such a beautiful name, too! Not that Kay isn't lovely, but, hey, not your name.

 

My grandmother could not for her life pronounce my sister's name, Gabrielle. She called her Gabriel, like the angel. For a while. Then she just "shortened" it to "chocolate face" which, surprisingly, went over pretty well!

[Nicole M]

Oh, I think it is wonderful how your kids have a good sense of humor about the whole thing! That shows that you must be modeling that for them. A ficus tree? I'm sorry, but that is funny!! It sounds like you probably are not going to change her at this point, so it is probably best to keep on smiling.

 

Thank you for appreciating the humor of the ficus! No one seems to get it, how absurd that is. Thank you!

 

Yes, I hope I'm modeling humor and grace in the face of incredible oddity...!

[Pretty in Pink]

It sounds like your son is taking it in stride and it's great that he can laugh it off! My mom can't spell my ds's name correctly either. My dh's grandmother won't even call our youngest by his real name half the time, because she does not like it. She calls him by the name she wanted us to use instead! What a pill!

[Tree House Academy]

My dad calls my oldest son "Jasper." He has always called him Jasper. It is not a nickname. He just can't remember my son's name. BTW: my son's name is Bryce. Not anywhere close to Jasper.

[lionfamily1999]

LOL, my son, Luke's middle name is Osais. It's phonetic, oh-say-iss. It is also my dad's grandfather's name. My dad is apparently the only person in the family that can spell Luke's middle name (except my husband and I). My mother insists on telling people his name is Luke oh-sigh-us. We smile and nod, that's about all that can be done. She also calls my older son Andrew Emile. His name is Andrew Ermil (husband's grandfather's name). And she still spells our last name wrong. It's four letters, sounds like an animal, but not spelled that way. She prefers to spell it like the animal. At times she even adds an 's' to the end, making us all plural and underminding my husband's Scottish heritage.

 

I ignore her. She does it to get a rise out of me, and I refuse to bite.

 

Your gramma, however, could be perfectly innocent of this, just suffering from the false memory issue. When you write something an excess of three times incorrectly, or read it (I believe it's more than five times) then your mind will 'believe' it even when you know it's wrong. That's how political spin works, that's how rumors work, and that's how misspellings can become habit.

 

;)

[Word Nerd]

Could it possibly be a running joke or a teasing sort of thing?

 

Some people really do have odd views about these kinds of things, though. I was at a family reunion on my DH's side, and one of his cousins shared that her MIL had told her she didn't care for their new baby's name "ABC," so she would be calling the baby "XYZ" instead. It wasn't a nickname or a variation on the name--it was a completely different name!

[PrairieAir]

Family members mispell my name all the time, but I do spell it different from the standard. We have several family members that cannot pronounce Naomi. They say Nay-oh-muh or No-em-ee or No-mee. I didn't realize it was so hard. Then we have one family member who refused to acknowledge for a long time that oldest dd's name was Jordan. She called her "Jordy" and "Gordy" when she wanted to be difficult and "Dolly" when she was being nice:glare: Some people are a bit odd and then some people are just completely off their rockers.

[Nicole M]

Could it possibly be a running joke or a teasing sort of thing?

 

Some people really do have odd views about these kinds of things, though. I was at a family reunion on my DH's side, and one of his cousins shared that her MIL had told her she didn't care for their new baby's name "ABC," so she would be calling the baby "XYZ" instead. It wasn't a nickname or a variation on the name--it was a completely different name!

 

Nah, my mom is simply nuts. She lives in her own reality. She's incredibly narcissistic, so I don't even know that she would realize how this is would affect anyone. I think. I don't know for sure. But I totally hear what you're saying.

 

Gosh! I'm so glad to hear these stories! Jasper just cracks me up. I'm so relieved that we're not the only ones.

[joannqn]

It's good that your son is taking it well. My grandmother refused to call me by my name, which is JoAnn. My entire life, she called me Maggie. She said I looked like a Maggie so that's what she called me.

[LisaKinVA]

Oh, that's too sad (and funny).

 

My MIL never spells my oldest's name correctly. In fact, she's been known to spell it several different ways for the same event:

 

Katherine

Katheryn

Cathryn

 

On 3 different Christmas packages, for the SAME year... :tongue_smilie:

 

Her name is Kathryn.

[Peela]

Sounds like your son handles it really well!

[Kris]

I'm sorry, but your post just had me giggling.

 

When my daughter was a baby, my grandmother sent her vitamins for her birthday. She decided she had too many colds and this was the way to take care of that. She was always practical. :001_smile:

 

Your sons sound absolutely amazing! What a great sense of humor they have.

[Amy loves Bud]

Okay, that's just crazy. A ficus? Oh my. Your kids sound like they are very funny and likable peopel, though!

 

My sister actually argued with me about the correct way to spell my daughter's name. She insisted that it was Payton. Ummm, no, I'm the one who filled out the forms for the birth certificate, so I'm pretty sure it's spelled with an "e". Goof.

[jensway]

Sounds like your son has a good sense of humor about the wrong spelling. Maybe you could direct her to the TV show "ELI Stone" that way she might remember it. :001_smile:

[AnnetteB]

My grandfather pronounced our eldest's name something like "Lausanne" like the Swiss city. Half the staff at the local library call her "Lizanne" after 16 years of knowing us and dd working there on staff. Her mil says "Lizanne" also. I apologized to dd years ago for choosing Lisanne and not realizing the confusion that was coming! I was blending family names of Annette, Elizabeth, Lisbeth, Lois, and Hannah into one. I actually think that she likes her name and doesn't mind answering to the variations....too much

[Haiku]

My mother can't spell any of my kids' names right. She adds letters to my oldest daughter's name and changes letters in my younger kids' names. She mispronounced my first child's name for a good six months after she joined us.

 

Heck, my mother named me and she still routinely spells my middle name wrong!

 

Of course, she has steadfastly spelled tomorrow "tomarrow" my whole life, so I think she just can't spell.

 

Tara

[camibami]

MY mom addresses things to me with the wrong last name. Every once in a while, I send stuff back marked "Return to Sender, addressee unknown" to be a smartarse. :D She knows my blankety-blank last name, its the same as hers for Pete's sake! She just thinks I should have DHs.

 

Moms: can't live with 'em, and they aren't yet old enough to stick in a home.

 

(Glad to hear you all have a good attitude about it!)

[SapphireStitch]

My MIL has written my daughter's name as "Natalia" for years. She pronounces it correctly (Natalie) but apparently can't get the spelling right. Or maybe it's a passive-aggressive thing because she wanted us to name her "Mary Ann". (DH and his twin bro were a surprise pregnancy, born when MIL was 41...she was sure up to the time of birth that she was having a third daughter...Mary Ann.)

 

DH's sister spells our son's name "Collin" instead of "Colin".

 

I don't know if either one of them is doing this to be mean, or if they're just a little dippy in the spelling department. DH can't spell, either, but he does know how to spell the names of his kin.:001_smile:

[dragons in the flower bed]

Heck, my mother named me and she still routinely spells my middle name wrong!

 

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Mom told me once that she meant to spell it Clothilde, but she was doped up, so it ended up being Clotilda instead. Either way it's awful, so I don't suppose it matters.

 

My mom decided she didn't like my firstborn's name, and told us she would call him "Baby Blue" instead because he had blue eyes. She finally dropped that after six years of it. She now pronounces his given name incorrectly and obnoxiously.

[Kareni]

Heck, my mother named me and she still routinely spells my middle name wrong!

 

 

 

Tara,

 

I can't help wondering how she spells your name ...

 

TaraThaLiberator?

 

TaraTehLIberator?

 

Enjoying this thread ....

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Harriet Vane]

A card arrived today for "Ely." Over the years my mother has spelled my son's name Eliah, Elijah (not his name) Elias (also not his name) and now Ely. It's Eli. Three letters, "i" at the end. Why is this hard, for goodness' sake? I have corrected her, my siblings correct her, she receives thank you notes and cards signed by him, but she just plain "likes it better" with the y.

 

My son is turning 17 on Thursday, so she's had plenty of time to learn the correct spelling. When Eli looked at the card today he said, "Interesting. She's stuck with this spelling longer than the others." And we did giggle.

 

This is the woman who gave my younger son a Ficus plant for his 10th birthday. This year she didn't even send #2 son a card, but called a few days later to say that money was tight so she didn't send a gift or card, but she had some books to send for Eli that she'd just read. Okay.

 

It's so incredibly odd. I'm pretty much sure my mother suffers from "cluster B" personality disorder, but spelling issues aren't usually a symptom, are they?

 

I accept that this is her, but wow. Weird.

 

[ETA: My youngest just asked what I was doing, and I told him. He said, "Aw, Grandma should have been born a couple hundred years ago before spelling was standardized. Born late, that's her problem." I wish!]

 

I think your son has the right attitude. Don't read too much into it. Best to laugh it off.

[Firefly]

Moms: can't live with 'em, and they aren't yet old enough to stick in a home.

 

[Just Me]

My poor youngest son's name is spelled 'Conner' more often than I like, especially by family members. We chose to spell it 'Connor', but for some reason, that seems to throw everyone off. He had to correct his preschool teacher for a month or two, and she was still spelling it wrong (off and on) at the end of the year!

[Haiku]

she meant to spell it Clothilde, but she was doped up, so it ended up being Clotilda instead.

 

Really? Your name is really Clotilda? I'm sorry, but I have to say it ... THAT ROCKS! My dh and I both really liked the name Tillie, so we seriously considered Clothilde. Everyone told us we were nuts, but we thought it was a completely funky name!! In the end, we didn't go with it, because Tillie sounds sillie with our last name.

 

Tara (who always has name envy)

[Haiku]

Tara,

 

I can't help wondering how she spells your name ...

 

TaraThaLiberator?

 

TaraTehLIberator?

 

:w00t:

 

Ok, I completely fell out of my chair on this one!! Thanks for a good laugh!

 

Tara

[dragons in the flower bed]

Really? Your name is really Clotilda? I'm sorry, but I have to say it ... THAT ROCKS!

 

 

Thanks, Tara. Yeah, my middle name is actually Clotilda. I'd never heard the nickname Tillie, but it is a sweet old-fashioned name, isn't it?

 

I like Tara. It's very similar to one of my kids' names. Does your mom misspell it Tera?

[Nicole M]

Really? Your name is really Clotilda? I'm sorry, but I have to say it ... THAT ROCKS! My dh and I both really liked the name Tillie, so we seriously considered Clothilde. Everyone told us we were nuts, but we thought it was a completely funky name!! In the end, we didn't go with it, because Tillie sounds sillie with our last name.

 

Tara (who always has name envy)

 

My mother-in-law's name is Clothilde, but get this. Everyone calls her Pat, because her last name was Patterson. That is just the saddest thing to me. If I'd had a daughter, her name would have been Audra Clothilde, after my grandmother and MIL. You are so lucky. Sorry about the doped up thing, though, Rose.

 

Okay, actually, I take it back. If I'd had a daughter, my husband was really pulling for the name Rhonda, and no offence, but I hate that name. So perhaps there would have been some veto-ing on the Audra Clothilde, but I doubt it.

 

I feel so much better knowing other mothers and grandmothers are dippy about this stuff. With a crazy mother, you never know -- is this the crazy or is this simply dippy? Knowing it's simply dippy is a relief.

[Brigitte]

I am 41 years old and my FATHER spells my name wrong. He has resorted, in the last few years, to using the nick-name my grandfather called me and he spells that wrong too. He also spells dd#2's name wrong (Lilly instead of Lily). I am over it now, but it did used to bother me.

[Doran]

I shure as schmoo hope she spells FICUS correctly!! :lol:

 

 

... but she had some books to send for Eli that she'd just read. Okay.

 

 

Don't you mean she had some books to send for Ely?

 

Bless her heart.

 

 

:001_huh:

[Nicole M]

I shure as schmoo hope she spells FICUS correctly!! :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

Don't you mean she had some books to send for Ely?

 

Bless her heart.

 

 

:001_huh:

 

Silly me! Yes, I meant Ely!

 

Turns out the books were "those girl books" that my boys are totally barfing over, the Twilight series. Shall I send them on to your house? For my future daughters-in-law, whose names I know perfectly well how to spell?!

[Jean in Newcastle]

In the defense of bad spellers, I always misspell my BIL's name (and I really like him!) I can never remember if it is Glenn with one n or two n's. So this time I wrote it wrong on the Christmas gift and had to call my dad to ask him to add another n to the tag.

[Doran]

Silly me! Yes, I meant Ely!

 

Turns out the books were "those girl books" that my boys are totally barfing over, the Twilight series. Shall I send them on to your house? For my future daughters-in-law, whose names I know perfectly well how to spell?!

 

 

Bwaaahhaa! She is a piece of work isn't she?!? :tongue_smilie:

 

Your future dil's (forgive the killing of the kitten there) would love to have "those girl books". Email me if you're not just joshing.

[Natalieclare]

My husband's grandma is very opinionated. When she heard our 2nd daughter's name was Sophia Nicole, she told everyone she'd just call her Nikki. Umm, ok? She calls her granddaughter Marty, even though she's named Marnie. This has gone on for 18 years now.

 

So I don't know why I'm surprised when I get packages intended for Milo addressed to Leon or Oriel. She's 99, so I don't know if this is senility or stubborness. She wanted me to name him Alex Paul--maybe she just hasn't forgiven me????

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

A card arrived today for "Ely." Over the years my mother has spelled my son's name Eliah, Elijah (not his name) Elias (also not his name) and now Ely. It's Eli. Three letters, "i" at the end. Why is this hard, for goodness' sake? I have corrected her, my siblings correct her, she receives thank you notes and cards signed by him, but she just plain "likes it better" with the y.

 

My son is turning 17 on Thursday, so she's had plenty of time to learn the correct spelling. When Eli looked at the card today he said, "Interesting. She's stuck with this spelling longer than the others." And we did giggle.

 

This is the woman who gave my younger son a Ficus plant for his 10th birthday. This year she didn't even send #2 son a card, but called a few days later to say that money was tight so she didn't send a gift or card, but she had some books to send for Eli that she'd just read. Okay.

 

It's so incredibly odd. I'm pretty much sure my mother suffers from "cluster B" personality disorder, but spelling issues aren't usually a symptom, are they?

 

I accept that this is her, but wow. Weird.

 

[ETA: My youngest just asked what I was doing, and I told him. He said, "Aw, Grandma should have been born a couple hundred years ago before spelling was standardized. Born late, that's her problem." I wish!]

 

Oh, my dh's mom misspelled *dh's* name in our wedding newspaper announcement/article/write-up/whateveritwas. (We had moved to Hawaii already, and the announcment thing was important to her, so she wrote it up.) And dh says he misspelled his name until he was in third grade, when he got a look at his birth certificate.

 

We just chuckle. It's a strong, STRONG gene, though. Poor dh. Poor dd! LOL

[Nicole M]

The last present my mil gave my children was a cardboard box. After spending $100's on her other grandchildren... We've been married for 31 years and she still can't pronounce my name correctly. I just don't answer now... :D

 

Wait. I think I must have blocked this out after I first read it, because it's just too unbelievable. Was it a really cool cardboard box? Like a refrigerator box to play in? But I think I remember your children are older -- are you the one with the old chicken, the barbecue party for your violinist daughter's graduation...? Or am I mistaking you for someone else. Because... cardboard box. That's confusing.

[AndyJoy]

My grandma decided to call me Andi (for Andrea) when I was born, despite my mom's protests. However, when she first held me, she changed her mind and said I was "too pretty to call Andi." My mother was very relieved.

 

In case you're wondering, the only people who ever called me Andy were the boys in my 4th grade class who decided I couldn't play soccer with them at recess unless I would consent to having a boy's name.

 

In college, there was this incredibly immature girl named Laura in my dorm who insisted on pronouncing my name "AUN-dre-a" even after my best friend Sarah corrected her with "AN-dre-a" dozens of times. It didn't bother me that much--I just rolled my eyes and thought, "What an immature brat." However, it drove my friend Sarah crazy, so one day she cornered Laura and asked her why she wouldn't pronounce my name properly. Laura haughtily replied, "Where I come from, only hicks are named "AN-dre-a." I laughed so hard over that one (especially since Laura grew up on a dairy farm!).:lol: Sarah started calling her "Lara" after that, so she could explain that only jerks are named Laura!:D

[Nicole M]

Bwaaahhaa! She is a piece of work isn't she?!? :tongue_smilie:

 

Your future dil's (forgive the killing of the kitten there) would love to have "those girl books". Email me if you're not just joshing.

 

What?! Holy smokes, woman! I just looked up "killing the kitten" and you will never guess what I found. Or maybe you would. You didn't mean this, did you?

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Killing%20a%20Kitten

 

Or perhaps this phrase has a different meaning out there where you are, at sea level...?

[KidsHappen]

MY mom addresses things to me with the wrong last name. Every once in a while, I send stuff back marked "Return to Sender, addressee unknown" to be a smartarse. :D She knows my blankety-blank last name, its the same as hers for Pete's sake! She just thinks I should have DHs.

 

Moms: can't live with 'em, and they aren't yet old enough to stick in a home.

 

(Glad to hear you all have a good attitude about it!)

 

This is so funny. When my dd had her baby in Aug. I was at the hospital with her. When they asked what her name was I gave them her maiden name. My other dd corrected me and I was utterly confused for a moment. I told me dd, "hon, she has the same last name as you." To which she replied, "no mom, she used to have the same last name as me, now she is married and her last name is _______." I love my sil and have never made that mistake before but I was very tired and apparently confused. We laugh about it now, but I warn them that senility is setting in. They promised not to put me in a home though. :tongue_smilie:

[lori in tx]

oh my! my mother in law can't either. It is Austin, the funny thing is she lives in Austin and she spells austen

[KidsHappen]

My ex misspelled my dd's name on her birth certificate! It was supposed to be Renee' which is a girl's name. He spelled it Rene which is a boy's name. The only saving grace is that my grandmother's middle name was Rene, pronounced REEN so we just tell everyone that she was named after my grandmother but it is still pronounced ReNAY. I made sure that I filled out all of the birth certificates after that.

[Tree House Academy]

Hehe - my mom and dad still have a hard time spelling my older son's last name. It is very different from the normal spelling and it would absolutely floor you the different spellings I have seen over the years...some not even coming close to the actual name.

[3lilreds in NC]

What?! Holy smokes, woman! I just looked up "killing the kitten" and you will never guess what I found. Or maybe you would. You didn't mean this, did you?

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Killing%20a%20Kitten

 

Or perhaps this phrase has a different meaning out there where you are, at sea level...?

 

No, no, no. Mrs. Mungo has a line in her sig that says "A kitten dies every time you use an apostrophe to pluralize." It might be taken from the definition you reference, but that's NOT what Doran meant. (Had to jump in here, mortified that anyone would think this. :blushing:)

[momto7]

My aunt and I had an argument when I was 35 about the spelling of my name.

"Are you sure it's not spelled K-E-R-I?"

"I know how to spell my own name. It's with an 'A.'"

"Oh... I like it better with an 'E.'"

 

Thanks, Dad.

[Mesa]

I have an "Eli" too! He is always being called "Ellie" and is often confused for a little girl. (Like when we got to the dr's office, and they read his name and call us to the back. lol) He's 3, and so far he hasnt been bugged by this. I am though! Come on guys, his name is Eli, not Ellie.

[Laurel]

My ex misspelled my dd's name on her birth certificate! It was supposed to be Renee' which is a girl's name. He spelled it Rene which is a boy's name. The only saving grace is that my grandmother's middle name was Rene, pronounced REEN so we just tell everyone that she was named after my grandmother but it is still pronounced ReNAY. I made sure that I filled out all of the birth certificates after that.

 

I know someone whose mom mixed up his first and middle names on his birth certificate. He went 20+ years thinking his name was "Michael James" when it turned out legally his name was "James Michael."

[CAMom]

My mil still ocassionally spells my oldest son's name as Gordan instead of Jordan. She also told us that she didn't like that we were naming our daughter Brenna and told us we should name her Briana or Sierra. Ummm..you already named your kids.;)

 

When my son finished a confirmation class at church, he went up with the rest of the kids to receive a certificate from the pastor. The pastor announced his name as Jordan Matthew Ourlastname. I turned to my husband and complained. He asked what was wrong. He had given the pastor the info himself. I said, "Uh, honey, your middle name is Matthew. Jordan's middle name is Michael!":lol:

 

I am still chuckling at the ficus tree....;)

[Nicole M]

No, no, no. Mrs. Mungo has a line in her sig that says "A kitten dies every time you use an apostrophe to pluralize." It might be taken from the definition you reference, but that's NOT what Doran meant. (Had to jump in here, mortified that anyone would think this. :blushing:)

 

I love Mrs. Mungo. Now I will laugh a little differently when I read her signature line.

 

(And I bet Doran will, too!)

 

Thank you for clarifying. I was totally confused. This makes much more sense.