Dining Sets--bench or not?

[Forget-Me-Not]

I need to buy a dining set for my new home.  I've been looking at one online that has the option of coming with either 6 chairs or 4 chairs and a long bench.  I never thought I'd want a bench, but this particular set is cuter with a bench.  I don't know why, maybe it makes the edge of the table look less busy/cluttered? 

Thoughts? Opinions? Other suggestions? 

ETA: I'd really like something with 8 chairs.  I wish this set would let me buy two extra chairs for when the leaf is extended.  

Edited August 2, 2022 by Forget-Me-Not

[Ann.without.an.e]

I have this in the longest version.

https://www.potterybarn.com/products/benchwright-extending-dining-table-blackened-oak/?pkey=s~benchwright table~32

Maybe it's because the bench seats 4 and is difficult to get in and out of with 3-4 people but we shy away from using the bench. When the table isn't extended it seats 8 and we have 8 chairs and the bench is against the wall.  Our plan was to pull the bench to the table when we have it extended (to fit 12) and simply move the chairs to the extended portions and slide the bench up. We do that sometimes but it seems it is the place no one wants to sit haha. I think if and when we have a house full of younger kids again then maybe it would be more appreciated? 

 

ETA: So my vote is no bench. No one likes it. I wanted to add too that you should hold out for 8 chairs if that is what you want. Don't settle ❤️ 

Edited August 2, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[HS Mom in NC]

I've very anti-bench.  No one wants to be stuck on the bench.  Middle daughter has one at her house and people grumble about who gets stuck on the bench. We're all people who like our own space, so individual chairs are a better option.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Ok, you both are sort of reiterating why I was anti-bench for so long.  It does seem like everyone avoids them, and I forget it's hard if the people sharing it need to be different distances from the table.  Ok. 

@Ann.without.an.e that table is *stunning*.  What chairs did you pair it with? 

[Tap]

My parents had benches for us kids. If you need a bench to squish a bunch of skinny people together, then they can be functional. Otherwise they are uncomfortable and tend to lead to kids pushing each other and messing around at the table. As an adult, I greatly dislike sitting on benches crammed into other people.

They also discourage people lingering to chat at the table  or gathering there to play games etc. For some people that is a benefit tho…. So take that as a pro or con 🤣

[Elizabeth86]

We have lots of little 10, 9, 6 and 4 and we LOVE our bench. Actually wish we had 2. It makes our small space not seem as crowded. Now if we were all big people maybe we wouldn’t love it.

[Ann.without.an.e]

10 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

Ok, you both are sort of reiterating why I was anti-bench for so long.  It does seem like everyone avoids them, and I forget it's hard if the people sharing it need to be different distances from the table.  Ok. 

@Ann.without.an.e that table is *stunning*.  What chairs did you pair it with? 

 

I love, love, love my table. I love that it seats 8 but extends so easily to seat 10 (with one side extended) or 12 with the other. If we squeeze in and use the ends we can seat 14 🙂 I have the longest version of the benchwright though. I think you could easily go smaller and fit 6 and extend to 8 or 8 and extend to 10. Mine takes a good deal of space, more than many would want to commit lol. 

I don't have the color shown in the link, it wouldn't let me directly link to the color I have but I have Seadrift. I didn't get PB chairs. It just added far too much to the cost and made the table I wanted out of budget.  I paired it with this chair mostly because we went into the store and thought they were so comfortable lol. https://www.ashleyfurniture.com/p/centiar_dining_chair/D372-01.html?cgid=dining-room-chairs#start=25&sz=16

We may eventually replace them with PB chairs but it was too much for our budget at the time and it is difficult to find a table that size. 

Edited August 2, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[teachermom2834]

The bench is fine for cramming in kids. My parents had one and we always put the littlest kids there. But as things go, before you know it the littlest kids are tweens and full adult size and it’s no longer practical. So it works temporarily just fine. But most people are buying a table for the long haul and not just a few years. We forget how quickly those little kids become adult size!

[Carol in Cal.]

I hate dining benches.  Everyone has to get out to get the middle one out, and they are never easy to move closer or farther away from the table so the placement is usually awkward for some or all of the users.  Ugh.

[barnwife]

1 minute ago, Elizabeth86 said:

We have lots of little 10, 9, 6 and 4 and we LOVE our bench. Actually wish we had 2. It makes our small space not seem as crowded. Now if we were all big people maybe we wouldn’t love it.

OTOH, we have kids ages 12, 10, almost 9, 5 and almost 2. And I/we would hate a bench with the passion of a thousand fiery burning suns. I am positive it would increase squabbling at the table. Heck, the 2 kids who sit on the same side of the tabl on their own individual chairs can barely handle not pestering/touching/irritating each other ("his chair is on my half of the table!!!"). 

Absolute HARD NO to a bench.

They are awful for adults. We actually know a family who had benches for their family (4 kids). Eating at their house was awful. 

[Forget-Me-Not]

3 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

 

I love, love, love my table. I love that it seats 8 but extends so easily to seat 10 (with one side extended) or 12 with the other. If we squeeze in and use the ends we can seat 14 🙂 I have the longest version of the benchwright though. I think you could easily go smaller and fit 6 and extend to 8 or 8 and extend to 10. Mine takes a good deal of space, more than many would want to commit lol. 

I don't have the color shown in the link, it wouldn't let me directly link to the color I have but I have Seadrift. I didn't get PB chairs. It just added far too much to the cost and made the table I wanted out of budget.  I paired it with this chair mostly because we went into the store and thought they were so comfortable lol. https://www.ashleyfurniture.com/p/centiar_dining_chair/D372-01.html?cgid=dining-room-chairs#start=25&sz=16

We may eventually replace them with PB chairs but it was too much for our budget at the time and it is difficult to find a table that size. 

It didn't even occur to me that I could pair it with chairs from somewhere else!  I was thinking the same thing. . . the chairs really add up fast.  I think I'd go for the smallest version honestly.  My mom has an 84" table in a space the same size and it's just too big for that space IMO, but not so big that we couldn't extend for extra seating once in while.  Is the leaf self-storing?

[Kassia]

24 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

Ok, you both are sort of reiterating why I was anti-bench for so long.  It does seem like everyone avoids them, and I forget it's hard if the people sharing it need to be different distances from the table.  Ok. 

@Ann.without.an.e that table is *stunning*.  What chairs did you pair it with? 

I'm glad you posted this because I never thought of the negatives before.  

[Katy]

Benches make my back hurt and they are difficult with dresses.  I’m anti-bench. 

[Catwoman]

Another vote for NO BENCH.

I hate them!!!

[Tenaj]

We are pro-bench at our house.  We had a table built by an Amish furniture company about 20 years ago and had a long bench on one side.  It is still my favorite place to sit during our school day.   In fact, I had the house to myself last week and still sat on the bench rather than any of the other chairs that were available.  My 12yodd and 14yods still sit on it for pretty much every meal.  Yes, when more than two people need to be on it, it is awkward to get in and out but we haven't found it to be too much of an issue in our family.  I really like that we can put four grandkids on it together.  Makes our dining table space much more flexible as far as numbers are concerned.

[gardenmom5]

I hate benches for a regular thing. Zero back support, and awkward to sit down upon - especially if others are already sitting on it.  Picnic tables in national parks - sure.  At home in a breakfast nook? (or worse - dining room).  No thanks.   

They are for cramming little kids for meals.  Teens might not care (then again, they might.).

is this also going to be a homework place?  You want individual chairs.

[Forget-Me-Not]

1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

is this also going to be a homework place?  You want individual chairs.

Decidedly NOT a homework/homeschool place.  It will be replacing the dining table that we homeschooled on for 13 years and I'm ready to have a real table that can put things like runners and centerpieces on LOL.  

Edited August 3, 2022 by Forget-Me-Not

[Chelli]

We have a deacon's bench at our dining room table. It's the most fought over spot for everyone to want to sit. I like the fact that if my nieces or nephews are over we can fit three on it if needed. 

 

[BusyMom5]

We have 2 benches, and for our family size and table size,  they work best.  We have 8-9 people eating every meal.  There just wasn't room for a table that would fit 8-10 chairs.  We have 3 kids per bench, sometimes an extra adult,  too.  With 3 chairs on each side, our table would be so crowded and hard to get into and out of.  Once we have it down to a family of 6, I think chairs would work better.  As the kids have gotten bigger, the benches are so full! 

So, get what works for your family!  I did get a bit shorter bench than necessary bc I didn't want them banging into the table legs. 

[BlsdMama]

18 hours ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

I need to buy a dining set for my new home.  I've been looking at one online that has the option of coming with either 6 chairs or 4 chairs and a long bench.  I never thought I'd want a bench, but this particular set is cuter with a bench.  I don't know why, maybe it makes the edge of the table look less busy/cluttered? 

Thoughts? Opinions? Other suggestions? 

ETA: I'd really like something with 8 chairs.  I wish this set would let me buy two extra chairs for when the leaf is extended.  

Our dining table has eight chairs and two benches. The benches are great for our littlest kids, the under 12 crowd. 
 

When I like them: The table is closer to a window - the chairs hinder the view slightly and chairs can rub against the trim when pulled out. They have a smaller footprint. They rock under so neatly. 
 

When I don’t: They’re less comfortable for bigger people, they have no back to lean against, they are awkward for older people. 
 

So I’d you don’t have younger children or you end up with a lot of adult company, I’d either pass on the benches or ensure you can buy the  extra chairs. 
 

I have the benches, use them often, love them. But I suspect when the kids get older, we’ll tuck away the benches and keep out six chairs. 

[mom2scouts]

No bench. Nobody really likes the bench because it's uncomfortable and hard to sit on if someone is already there.

[Clemsondana]

Our table has long overhangs on both ends, and we have 2 short benches.  I like that they can be pushed fully under the overhanging ends so that it's easy to walk around the table.  The benches hold 3 kids or 2 adults. My teens don't mind sitting at them when we are in the dining room, but it's also not for every meal.  Actually, one teen often uses the bench to sit at if kid is eating while working on a laptop, despite the fact that the chairs are also available.  I don't think we could fit 2 chairs (and definitely not 3 for kids) on each end of the table, so having the benches adds seating for more people.  The only downside is that the benches don't have backs so it's less comfortable to linger, but that's not usually a problem for the under-30 crowd.  Our benches also have a shelf under it, so we keep board games and puzzles there so that they can be easly accessed to play on the dining room table.  

[HS Mom in NC]

I think anyone green lighting a bench is required to always be the person who sits in the middle of it, and they have to sit next to someone with a significant height difference.  It's usually the person who chooses a bench that is always sitting in one of the chairs, then they expect ME (5'1", 128#s) to be the one to live with the consequences of their bad choices, often seated between  my husband who is 10" taller than me and someone else.  None of us sit the same distance from the table.

Not cool, man.  Not. cool.

[LucyStoner]

Benches make sense when you have a small dining area/eat in kitchen and small kids.  They are otherwise a PITA.  

[itsheresomewhere]

Hate benches.  They hurt my back and being the one in the middle stinks. 

[KatieJ]

My daughter has a bench and it works fine for her family alone , but even better when a large group is there. I always choose to sit on the end for easy in and out, but my long legged husband has no problem stepping over it snd sitting next to me. It works great for all those grandkids we seem to have acquired! 

[Hilltopmom]

My mom has always used an old church pew on one side of the dining room table as her bench. All the benefits of a bench but with a back. It sits against the wall side because it’s too heavy to move around. I love that spot and usually sit there with the kids. I hate having a bunch of chairs crowded around a table 🙂