Money, frustrated, need advice

[Hilltopmom]

There are other perks to being a teacher though too- time with family with the earlier end of the day tine than an 8-5 job, weeks off scattered throughout the year, summer “off”-

if you started a career too, your whole family would benefit from those perks.

If you also worked for the school system (just a high school diploma required for be a paraprofessional), you’d have the same schedule. Not sure how old your younger kids are & if you’re planning to continue homeschooling.

Plus, in my state at least, the pension and benefits are still amazing.

[seemesew]

Two things I forgot or failed to mention.

1. the car isn't a new car it is still 9-10 years old, we bought it used. All Our other cars except 1 are over 20 years old.

2. My husband reminded me that one reason we haven't pushed for me to work is due to insurance. Right now because of our income we get a lower insurance and if I start working we no longer get it. Then any amount I make would only go towards the insurance premiums. In this area with what I'm likely to make would not or barely cover those so we would be in same spot or worse than we are now. Unless it is a significant increase over $15 an hour it actually costs us more for me to work. 

Sigh... Even many full-time positions only pay $14 an hour here. I'm not sure that me working part-time will actually help.

Maybe I'll start looking into school for myself. We have a great community college that I mostly likely would qualify for a grant for.

Edited April 21, 2022 by seemesew

[prairiewindmomma]

Do you have any willingness at all to work in IT? You can easily make $100k/year working remotely from home in cyber security or software engineering. You can play around with learning IT concepts from any number of websites, and there are a number of professional certificate preparation courses available inexpensively from places like Pluralsight. Some jobs are willing to take you on without a degree, but you'll earn more if you already have a BA. You can look at job listings to get a sense of what is out there.

[fairfarmhand]

Can you move? Maybe he would be able to make more $ in another location. 

[seemesew]

11 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Do you have any willingness at all to work in IT? You can easily make $100k/year working remotely from home in cyber security or software engineering. You can play around with learning IT concepts from any number of websites, and there are a number of professional certificate preparation courses available inexpensively from places like Pluralsight. Some jobs are willing to take you on without a degree, but you'll earn more if you already have a BA. You can look at job listings to get a sense of what is out there.

I am interested! I'll have to check that out, thank you!

[seemesew]

Just now, fairfarmhand said:

Can you move? Maybe he would be able to make more $ in another location. 

Not if he stayed in the same field. This state pays higher than most and the living rates are lower than anywhere from what I've read. Housing is still affordable. Our payments are only $500 a month for a 4 bedroom 1800sf (it was a really good deal even for here).

I'm not saying we can't move but not for his same job.

[Frances]

23 minutes ago, seemesew said:

Two things I forgot or failed to mention.

1. the car isn't a new car it is still 9-10 years old, we bought it used. All Our other cars except 1 are over 20 years old.

2. My husband reminded me that one reason we haven't pushed for me to work is due to insurance. Right now because of our income we get a lower insurance and if I start working we no longer get it. Then any amount I make would only go towards the insurance premiums. In this area with what I'm likely to make would not or barely cover those so we would be in same spot or worse than we are now. Unless it is a significant increase over $15 an hour it actually costs us more for me to work. 

Sigh... Even many full-time positions only pay $14 an hour here. I'm not sure that me working part-time will actually help.

Maybe I'll start looking into school for myself. We have a great community college that I mostly likely would qualify for a grant for.

So you don’t have insurance through your husband’s employer?

[Arcadia]

2 hours ago, seemesew said:

Good point. We have 5 cars with the new one, all are paid off except the new one. They are all old though that's why he worries.

I’ll keep the new one and sell one or two of the older ones. Maintenance can be more costly on older cars and parts harder to find. I’ll sell the old car that has the highest maintenance cost and hardest to get parts.

[Ausmumof3]

Similar boat here although our story is slightly different. DH made a career change to a significantly lower paying job. I didn’t discourage him because it is his passion and he is much happier but he was very avoidant about discussing the money situation which was really hard (and when pushed would suggest stuff like dropping the home Internet which just doesn’t work with homeschooling. In the end I started going for a few jobs to see what happened and ended up with what I have now. 
 

Im not going to lie it’s been flipping hard. I have a lot of anxiety about it still and the shuffle and the juggle and the increases expenses are real. However it does mean I can pay for groceries each week and that counts for something. 
 

oldest DS has also started working and paying for some of his own expenses like clothes etc. It helps that I don’t feel so guilty when we can’t provide him extras because I know if he really wants it he can earn it.

Mentally a big thing for me has been trying to direct my anger and frustration away from home toward the systems that no longer pay a living wage. 

[seemesew]

23 minutes ago, Frances said:

So you don’t have insurance through your husband’s employer?

We don't right now because it's $800 for just 2 people. I can't imagine what it would be for all 7 of us. 

[seemesew]

21 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Similar boat here although our story is slightly different. DH made a career change to a significantly lower paying job. I didn’t discourage him because it is his passion and he is much happier but he was very avoidant about discussing the money situation which was really hard (and when pushed would suggest stuff like dropping the home Internet which just doesn’t work with homeschooling. In the end I started going for a few jobs to see what happened and ended up with what I have now. 
 

Im not going to lie it’s been flipping hard. I have a lot of anxiety about it still and the shuffle and the juggle and the increases expenses are real. However it does mean I can pay for groceries each week and that counts for something. 
 

oldest DS has also started working and paying for some of his own expenses like clothes etc. It helps that I don’t feel so guilty when we can’t provide him extras because I know if he really wants it he can earn it.

Mentally a big thing for me has been trying to direct my anger and frustration away from home toward the systems that no longer pay a living wage. 

I am too. I was just frustrated in my first post. I really don't blame my husband and write honestly and made it work we'll until this year when our car gas sky rocketed to more than $300 our normal bill. So we've had to learn to drive less.

[DawnM]

A lot of good advice already, but is your husband's district offering summer school?   During covid, even districts who don't usually offer it were offering it.    It was good pay, more laid back than regular school, and more doable in many ways (no real grading and lessons were already done or easy to do.).  That might work for him.

I worked summer school last year.  We weren't desperate for $$ but I worried they wouldn't offer it again so I wanted to take the opportunity.

Another thing you are probably already doing, but when I was a SAHM and we had some lean years, I took it as my job to penny pinch and save as much as I could through bargain hunting, finding things for free, selling things, getting our grocery budget as low as possible, etc.....

I used a book called "How to feed a family of 4 on $250/mo" or some such thing......it was written a long time ago, so I couldn't get it that low, but I did have some $500 months for a family of 5 by buying only basics like lower priced meats, rice/potatoes/grains, and whatever produce was on sale or within my budget.    We cut out prepared foods, higher priced items, and extras like eating out for quite a while.

We only did free or cheap activities, went to museums on free day, took lunch with us, that sort of thing.   We did have the boys in scouts because it was the best bang for our buck price wise, but we cut out Karate, swim lessons, anything that cost more than we felt we could keep paying.

 I became a pro at finding deals and my friends would all come to me to help them bargain hunt for vacation deals, etc....

My goal was always to come in under budget on everything.  I made it a game.

You are prob already doing a lot of budget items, but just thought I would throw that out there.   It really helped our family during some lean years.

 

[DawnM]

19 minutes ago, seemesew said:

We don't right now because it's $800 for just 2 people. I can't imagine what it would be for all 7 of us. 

If he works for a school district, the spouse is the biggest expense.  The kids are "buy one get as many as you want."  🤣

[Garga]

3 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

Sell them!!  If you don't need it get rid of it.  Seriously the used car market is so high right now you are never going to get these prices again. 

 

The only problem with selling the cars now is that if they need one for an upcoming driver, they won’t be able to buy one. 

I’m not so sure I’d sell more than 2 cars at this point. If you are working and he is working, that accounts for 2 cars. If the kids start driving and get jobs, you’ll need at least 1 more car, especially if there are no jobs in walking distance. 

I might even keep 4 cars.

[Garga]

24 minutes ago, seemesew said:

We don't right now because it's $800 for just 2 people. I can't imagine what it would be for all 7 of us. 

Premiums are usually a set price for a single person, another set price for a couple, and then a 3rd set price for “family.”.  It doesn’t usually matter how many people are in the family. You could have 3 or 20 and it would still be the same set “family” price for both the family of 3 and the family of 20. That’s usually how it works anyway.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Garga

[seemesew]

6 minutes ago, DawnM said:

A lot of good advice already, but is your husband's district offering summer school?   During covid, even districts who don't usually offer it were offering it.    It was good pay, more laid back than regular school, and more doable in many ways (no real grading and lessons were already done or easy to do.).  That might work for him.

I worked summer school last year.  We weren't desperate for $$ but I worried they wouldn't offer it again so I wanted to take the opportunity.

Another thing you are probably already doing, but when I was a SAHM and we had some lean years, I took it as my job to penny pinch and save as much as I could through bargain hunting, finding things for free, selling things, getting our grocery budget as low as possible, etc.....

I used a book called "How to feed a family of 4 on $250/mo" or some such thing......it was written a long time ago, so I couldn't get it that low, but I did have some $500 months for a family of 5 by buying only basics like lower priced meats, rice/potatoes/grains, and whatever produce was on sale or within my budget.    We cut out prepared foods, higher priced items, and extras like eating out for quite a while.

We only did free or cheap activities, went to museums on free day, took lunch with us, that sort of thing.   We did have the boys in scouts because it was the best bang for our buck price wise, but we cut out Karate, swim lessons, anything that cost more than we felt we could keep paying.

 I became a pro at finding deals and my friends would all come to me to help them bargain hunt for vacation deals, etc....

My goal was always to come in under budget on everything.  I made it a game.

You are prob already doing a lot of budget items, but just thought I would throw that out there.   It really helped our family during some lean years.

 

Great ideas! I am doing a lot of it but I can always do better.

[seemesew]

5 minutes ago, DawnM said:

If he works for a school district, the spouse is the biggest expense.  The kids are "buy one get as many as you want."  🤣

Really?! I didn't know that.

[thewellerman]

I know the reality is that you need more money to make ends meet, but is it possible you are feeling more urgent because prices have skyrocketed?  My family has the ability to shift and flex within our budget, but we are doing a lot of shifting and cutting things out.  I think we are easily spending $1k more per month than we used to, and I feel like that jump has happened within the last few months. I also expect it to keep getting worse.  I'm trying to say that while your situation seems dire (I'm not saying it isn't), I think a lot of people are going through a lean and difficult time.  It might help your frustration to remember that for a lot of people living paycheck to paycheck, the balance suddenly shifted out of favor.  

[seemesew]

2 minutes ago, Garga said:

Premiums are usually a set price for a single person, another set price for a couple, and then a 3rd set price for “family.”.  It doesn’t usually matter how many people are in the family. You could have 3 or 20 and it would still be the same set “family” price for both the family of 3 and the family of 20. That’s usually how it works anyway.

That's good to know! I'll double check this so I know if I can work part time. If honestly enjoy it in some ways.

[seemesew]

2 minutes ago, thewellerman said:

I know the reality is that you need more money to make ends meet, but is it possible you are feeling more urgent because prices have skyrocketed?  My family has the ability to shift and flex within our budget, but we are doing a lot of shifting and cutting things out.  I think we are easily spending $1k more per month than we used to, and I feel like that jump has happened within the last few months. I also expect it to keep getting worse.  I'm trying to say that while your situation seems dire (I'm not saying it isn't), I think a lot of people are going through a lean and difficult time.  It might help your frustration to remember that for a lot of people living paycheck to paycheck, the balance suddenly shifted out of favor.  

This is why we can't make ends meet. We actually have done pretty good at managing our expenses, we even have a good savings but within 3 months everything has jumped so high that we can't make ends meet anymore. I'm going to do some serious cutting in the budget, sell a car or two, find out about insurance costs for a family, and then I can look into getting a job.

[Arcadia]

5 minutes ago, Garga said:

Premiums are usually a set price for a single person, another set price for a couple, and then a 3rd set price for “family.”.  It doesn’t usually matter how many people are in the family. You could have 3 or 20 and it would still be the same set “family” price for both the family of 3 and the family of 20. That’s usually how it works anyway.

 

2 minutes ago, seemesew said:

That's good to know! I'll double check this so I know if I can work part time. If honestly enjoy it in some ways.

My husband works in private tech. His employee health insurance is capped at 3 kids for family. Then its a small top up for additional kids. If it is like Dawn said for your husband’s school district, it might end up cheaper going with the employer health insurance for family.

[Beth S]

Have you considered some WFH ideas?
Like flipping furniture, babysitting, teaching/tutoring homeschoolers in your field?
Maybe housecleaning?
Can the older kids babysit the younger ones?

[DawnM]

25 minutes ago, seemesew said:

Really?! I didn't know that.

Have him at least inquire.

[DawnM]

27 minutes ago, seemesew said:

Great ideas! I am doing a lot of it but I can always do better.

I forgot to mention a couple of cookbooks that really are great with helping with food costs.   Extending the Table and More with Less, both excellent.   I also used a lot of ideas in The Tightwad Gazette.

[Slache]

44 minutes ago, seemesew said:

This is why we can't make ends meet. We actually have done pretty good at managing our expenses, we even have a good savings but within 3 months everything has jumped so high that we can't make ends meet anymore. I'm going to do some serious cutting in the budget, sell a car or two, find out about insurance costs for a family, and then I can look into getting a job.

Same here. My husband and I gave up breakfast years ago (intermittent fasting, but because poor!), we only cook every other day and leftovers the next day and now we are adding in more vegetarian meals. I can't eat a lot because of my health, so often I have a separate meal. It sucks. We keep the house pretty cold in winter and warm in the summer and it makes me uncomfortable. We have no home internet, but use the hotspot. Our car loan lets us skip two payments a year so we do July and January, the hottest and coldest months. Costco membership for gas, it's not always cheaper, but it's better quality and a better value. Look for teacher discounts. I have a veteran discount on my car insurance and cell phone plan. The only subscription we have is Disney plus, which actually just lapsed, but only subscribe to one thing at a time. All medical needs are met with the tax return.

[mommyoffive]

1 hour ago, Garga said:

The only problem with selling the cars now is that if they need one for an upcoming driver, they won’t be able to buy one. 

I’m not so sure I’d sell more than 2 cars at this point. If you are working and he is working, that accounts for 2 cars. If the kids start driving and get jobs, you’ll need at least 1 more car, especially if there are no jobs in walking distance. 

I might even keep 4 cars.

depends on the work times.  Her dh could work days drive home and let her have the car to work some pm stuff.  Or carpool with each other drop one person off at work.

 

I agree there are so many work at home options to do right now.  One person I follow on youtube posts new job leads everyday.

Delilah Bell - YouTube

 

 

[Katy]

Check out Power to Fly. They recruit moms for work at home IT jobs, and they constantly have talks given by women.  I watched one about cybersecurity that was really interesting and mentioned only needing a few classes from udemy.com. I think they upload all of them to their YouTube channel, which you can definitely watch for free. 

[Ting Tang]

6 hours ago, seemesew said:

I'm frustrated so please don't think my husband is terrible, he's really not, a little foolish maybe but an amazing guy. So I told my husband 6 years ago that his Field of work wasn't going to make enough for us to live on by the time he got to a decent paying rate with inflation, kids getting older and such, but he just got SO upset and said I was being negative. I decided it wasn't worth my marriage to fight over (he really is a great husband and father it's just this one thing 😉)  Anyways here we are exactly where I said we would be and we can't make ends meet.

To make matter worse my husband's parents just sold their car dealership so my husband decided we needed another car before they retired and we bought a car. But We simply can't afford the payments. We don't "need" this car but his current car is getting older and has a few issues, though still drivable. I think we should sell the new one but he thinks its right to keep it because the older car could die, and he wants to sell it (we would maybe make $1,000 on it barely denting the payments on the newer car). I could insist and he'd listen but is that the right thing? I'm at a loss. 

For reference we have everything budgeted , no debt other than the new car and are very good with money, there simply isn't enough income for a family of 7.

I've suggested jobs he could do on the side but he's really maxed out, he's working full time and working 2 part-time jobs through the school and taking classes towards his master's.  In summer I thought he could work but he's taking summer classes to finish his master's and says he won't have time to work.

I've tried and tried to do things from home but simply don't have many skills or experience to use in the areas I need. I probably need to work somewhere outside the home but I'm terrified! I hated working when I did it years ago, our home was trashed, the kids were hard to navigate with someone watching them, and I had no energy to do anything. I was always so tired that dealing with the kids was impossible. I'd probably need to do something at night because my husband is home during those hours. But mostly I'm frustrated! If he would have just tried a different field other than teaching like I suggested, we wouldn't be in this spot. I love him and he's great but why is he so stubborn?! 😁🙈🥰

Give me some advice, please. But be kind ❤️

I am not sure where you live.  My two sister in laws are public school teachers with graduate degrees and make excellent money, granted it wouldn't stretch as far with 5 children.  (almost $100k for the one teacher) I live in a more rural area, and the teachers do NOT make as good of money.  Is switching to a different district an option, even if it came with a heftier commute?  Sorry, I don't know if he already does that.  I am just assuming he is a public school teacher?  Another option would be to look at jobs that require education degrees but are not actually teaching jobs.  They exist, usually with some kind of NPO/research organization for education.

[seemesew]

2 hours ago, Garga said:

The only problem with selling the cars now is that if they need one for an upcoming driver, they won’t be able to buy one. 

I’m not so sure I’d sell more than 2 cars at this point. If you are working and he is working, that accounts for 2 cars. If the kids start driving and get jobs, you’ll need at least 1 more car, especially if there are no jobs in walking distance. 

I might even keep 4 cars.

Yeah, we do have an upcoming driver that's why we were thinking of keeping more. We live out in the country and most jobs are done by 5-6 so the likely hood if me working nights is pretty slim. So we may very well need 4...1 is simply a truck that we use to take trash to the dump because it's so much cheaper than paying a service and yard stuff. My husband also uses it for camping quite a bit in the summer because it has 4 wheel drive (which is also nice in the winter when the roads are bad). So we will probably only sell 1 car.

[seemesew]

18 minutes ago, Ting Tang said:

I am not sure where you live.  My two sister in laws are public school teachers with graduate degrees and make excellent money, granted it wouldn't stretch as far with 5 children.  (almost $100k for the one teacher) I live in a more rural area, and the teachers do NOT make as good of money.  Is switching to a different district an option, even if it came with a heftier commute?  Sorry, I don't know if he already does that.  I am just assuming he is a public school teacher?  Another option would be to look at jobs that require education degrees but are not actually teaching jobs.  They exist, usually with some kind of NPO/research organization for education.

Yes he's a public school teacher 😊 he is actually teaching at the highest paying highschool in the area, he tutors, and coaches bowling those are the 2 part-time jobs. Our housing is so cheap in not sure moving is worth it. Once he finishes the masters he will look into administration and they make quite a bit more money but that's at least a year away.

[Catwoman]

7 minutes ago, seemesew said:

Yes he's a public school teacher 😊 he is actually teaching at the highest paying highschool in the area, he tutors, and coaches bowling those are the 2 part-time jobs. Our housing is so cheap in not sure moving is worth it. Once he finishes the masters he will look into administration and they make quite a bit more money but that's at least a year away.

I have to agree with you that, unless your dh got a tremendous pay raise elsewhere, you would be crazy to move out of your current home, because you would end up paying so much more a month in rent, that the salary increase probably wouldn't be worth it. 

[Katy]

If administrators make substantially more I’d just hold out the year or two and get myself the best paying job I could locally. I honestly doubt the labor market is suddenly going to get looser. A few years of management experience will transfer more easily than teaching. 

[mommyoffive]

1 hour ago, Katy said:

Check out Power to Fly. They recruit moms for work at home IT jobs, and they constantly have talks given by women.  I watched one about cybersecurity that was really interesting and mentioned only needing a few classes from udemy.com. I think they upload all of them to their YouTube channel, which you can definitely watch for free. 

do you have a link to the talk that you watched on cybersecurity?

[Katy]

10 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

do you have a link to the talk that you watched on cybersecurity?

I think this is it: 

 

[fairfarmhand]

If you put it out there through word of mouth and facebook, you may be able to get odd jobs hemming skirts and pants and doing minor alterations. Every little bit you know. Also, I've had many people approach me wanting me to teach them how to sew. 

[seemesew]

4 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

If you put it out there through word of mouth and facebook, you may be able to get odd jobs hemming skirts and pants and doing minor alterations. Every little bit you know. Also, I've had many people approach me wanting me to teach them how to sew. 

UGH.. My only experience with offering my sewing as a business (when they asked ME!) was them turning me down flat because they felt my services should be basically free. Anything to do with sewing they want it free and it bothers me so much! I mean I can do a great job and sew fairly well why can't I charge for that?!

[fairfarmhand]

1 minute ago, seemesew said:

UGH.. My only experience with offering my sewing as a business (when they asked ME!) was them turning me down flat because they felt my services should be basically free. Anything to do with sewing they want it free and it bothers me so much! I mean I can do a great job and sew fairly well why can't I charge for that?!

That is totally obnoxious. 

One thing to do is to present it like a business. Put  "SeeMeSew's Alterations" and "SeeMeSew's Sewing Classes" on social media with your prices. (Prom season is NOW!) 

Do NOT say "Pay me what you think it is worth" or that kind of nonsense. I am a very agreeable person, but I really did myself no favors by not presenting my business skills in a professional way. I write part time and I try to make $25 to $50 an hour depending on the job. I know I can get that so, while not being demanding, I simply present my rates and if someone doesn't want to pay me, I am willing to walk away from the work.

Check out the going rate in your area. (They will probably be lower than other places) and see what happens. You may have a good business with demand in your area, or everyone may have a granny who will hem their skirts for free. Who knows? It may be worth a try.

[Bootsie]

These are the things that come to mind for me:

1)  How much time is your husband spending with the 2 part-time jobs of tutoring and bowling coach?  Are there other part-time possibilities that would pay more (private tutoring, being a standardized exam grader perhaps)

2) How much will getting his masters degree impact his earning potential in his current job?  Is it likely to make a difference in a year or two?

3) I would double check the employer-based health care plans.  What are the options for insuring your entire family through a plan.  I would not worry too much about how going to work yourself would impact insurance premiums.  In the short-run it might have some impact, but in the long-run I can't see that it would matter much.  

4)Does your husband pay into social security?  Teachers do not in all states.  If he doesn't, would your working allow you to draw social security one day.

5)  If your children are old enough to be driving can they work to pay pat of their own expenses?  

6)  Do you and your husband share jointly in budgeting and financial planning?  If so, do you both look at the projections of your income/spending and see that this is an unsustainable path?  It can make a difference whether there is a disagreement over whether a program exists or a disagreement over how to solve a problem. 

[Ting Tang]

1 hour ago, seemesew said:

Yes he's a public school teacher 😊 he is actually teaching at the highest paying highschool in the area, he tutors, and coaches bowling those are the 2 part-time jobs. Our housing is so cheap in not sure moving is worth it. Once he finishes the masters he will look into administration and they make quite a bit more money but that's at least a year away.

I’m not sure where you live, but even 1-1.5 hours away from us makes a ginormous difference. I would only suggest moving his job, not your home. 😊 but if there is hope for things opening up later on where you’re at, maybe there are temporary solutions. Life has gotten more expensive recently, so I’m sure you are feeling that, too, now— even with budgets and everything. 

[fairfarmhand]

1 hour ago, seemesew said:

Yeah, we do have an upcoming driver that's why we were thinking of keeping more. We live out in the country and most jobs are done by 5-6 so the likely hood if me working nights is pretty slim. So we may very well need 4...1 is simply a truck that we use to take trash to the dump because it's so much cheaper than paying a service and yard stuff. My husband also uses it for camping quite a bit in the summer because it has 4 wheel drive (which is also nice in the winter when the roads are bad). So we will probably only sell 1 car.

Do you have full insurance coverage on all of these vehicles? If you can switch the less used vehicles to liability only, you can save substantial money.

 

And I did want to tell you that it's not only that your dh isn't able to make as much money as is needed, its that prices have skyrocketed. EVERYTHING. COSTS. SO. MUCH. these days. Grocery shopping stresses me out nowadays because of it. If you live in the country, can you grow some of your veggies in the summer?

[mum]

If your husband earns $100 too much per month for you to qualify for benefits, might you be better off for him to work slightly less, earn $100 less and qualify for the benefits? I don't know how much the benefits would add up to, but you might want to do the math on this. I know it seems counter-intuitive to say "earn a bit less" but sometimes it works.

I agree on selling at least one car. Maintenance, tags, insurance-they all add up. It's not just about the price of the actual car.

[Dianthus]

9 hours ago, seemesew said:

It is ridiculous. But also things don't always come out right in typing, I mean you guys can't see everything and I simply can't explain all of it. But it is what he says and I've told him what you and others are saying multiple times. It's just something he struggles with. 

I guess I'll look into something I can do at night or during the summer at the very least. I just don't know what else to do. I know I'm probably being pushy but I still think he should and could change careers because he really isn't that happy in this one. 

I'm hindsight it would have been better to send me through school and it's something we've always wanted to do but a couple unexpected health issues and pregnancy changed a lot of plans back then. He isn't paying for his masters either btw, the college has a program for teachers so he isn't paying for it except for a few books.

Tell him to look at this verse:

I Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

[Dianthus]

9 hours ago, Slache said:

You need to have a conversation with your church leader about the eye of the needle. The eye of the needle is a specific gate to the city that people can go through but would not adequately fit a camel. In order for the camel to get through the gate it would have to cast off everything it has and crawl through. It means you have to put Heaven before your possessions, but the camel can absolutely fit through the eye of the needle if it has its priorities straight.

http://recognizingchrist.com/2013/06/25/myths-about-the-bible-was-the-eye-of-the-needle-a-gate/

https://classictheology.org/2021/10/12/through-the-eye-of-an-actual-needle-the-fake-gate-theory/

[Dianthus]

2 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

If you live in the country, can you grow some of your veggies in the summer?

Could you raise chickens/eggs?

[Slache]

12 minutes ago, Spirea said:

http://recognizingchrist.com/2013/06/25/myths-about-the-bible-was-the-eye-of-the-needle-a-gate/

https://classictheology.org/2021/10/12/through-the-eye-of-an-actual-needle-the-fake-gate-theory/

The first article is severely lacking but I like his point. The second makes good arguments. I will look more on this. Thank you.

[Melissa in Australia]

Everyone in the world is finding the cost of living going way up - everyone. it is going to get way worse before it gets better. it is time for people to tighten their belts and try hard to save money wherever they can.  Be glad you don't live in a country like Sir Lanka , or Afghanistan  or a million other places less wealthy that are starting to starve 

I find it sort of bemusing / confusing/ mystifying these types of threads.  people  think they are struggling and get good solid advice on how they could save money for more pressing things and don't want to accept what they  hear. 

Having a car just to take rubbish to the tip and an occasional camping trip is a luxury item . Many of us do fine just taking the rubbish to the tip in the boot of an ordinary car. or hooking a trailer to the back of an ordinary car.

Some hopefully helpful hints and ideas - try having stew or soup for 4 main meals a week or more, and soup for lunch. there is a reason people lived like that for  centuries- it is way cheaper. my mother and grandmother would make meat do for 2 or  more meals. If there was a bone nobody gnawed on it, it was saved to be used for stock for the next night stew. A roasting chicken was par-boiled before roasting to get some broth off that could be made into a soup for the next meal. things like this really help with the budget. a stew  can be thickened with oats, or rice or barley or lentils, all very cheep bulky things. A filling desert for growing boys is rice, milk and honey. Don't  let people drink milk unless they are under 4, save it for breakfast. Never buy soft drink or juice. water is perfectly fine for drinking, healthier,  and nothing else is needed.  

make a shopping list of everything that is needed for a trip to town. then do all of it when you go. We have worked out that at the current price of fuel it costs us $10to drive the 20 km  to town and back . we don't go if we only need a few things. 

 Encourage all teen to get some sort of paid work, then they can look after some of their own wants like if they want juice or other luxuries . Maybe get them to pay board, even a little bit.

if you are truly struggling then there are some very drastic measures that can help- like getting rid of any pets. $50 or so of petfood a month really adds up.

pay down debt as fast as possible. even an extra $10 a week on a loan can greatly reduce the amount of debt. if you sell some of your surplus cars then use that money to pay off a chunk of debt on the newer car.  My mother managed to pay off her mortgage as a widow with 3 small children by keeping every single piece of lose change in a dish, and at the end of the month paying however much was there off the mortgage- that was when mortgage rates here were 20% 

 Grow as many veggies as you  possibly can, you don't need fancy raised beds. veggies have grown fine in the ground forever. A raised bed is pleasing to the eye, but not necessary. Freeze or preserve the surplus. Never ever eat out. Get rid of subscription services, they are a luxury that is not needed for survival

 you might think my suggestions are ridiculous or over the top, but they work

 

[DawnM]

29 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Everyone in the world is finding the cost of living going way up - everyone. it is going to get way worse before it gets better. it is time for people to tighten their belts and try hard to save money wherever they can.  Be glad you don't live in a country like Sir Lanka , or Afghanistan  or a million other places less wealthy that are starting to starve 

I find it sort of bemusing / confusing/ mystifying these types of threads.  people  think they are struggling and get good solid advice on how they could save money for more pressing things and don't want to accept what they  hear. 

I don't think she has been that way, I think she is taking it all in and contemplating some ways to save.  And sometimes it does take a while to get to the point where you are willing to do the more drastic things or change what you are used to.

29 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Having a car just to take rubbish to the tip and an occasional camping trip is a luxury item . Many of us do fine just taking the rubbish to the tip in the boot of an ordinary car. or hooking a trailer to the back of an ordinary car.

One thing that came to mind as I read your comment about the rubbish.   OP, your husband works at a school, the schools huge trash containers are picked up daily around here, having him take some bags to the school dumpster behind the cafeteria might be an option.   My old school didn't care if I used their recycling because it was never full and they paid the same amount if it was full or not.

29 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Some hopefully helpful hints and ideas - try having stew or soup for 4 main meals a week or more, and soup for lunch. there is a reason people lived like that for  centuries- it is way cheaper. my mother and grandmother would make meat do for 2 or  more meals. If there was a bone nobody gnawed on it, it was saved to be used for stock for the next night stew. A roasting chicken was par-boiled before roasting to get some broth off that could be made into a soup for the next meal. things like this really help with the budget. a stew  can be thickened with oats, or rice or barley or lentils, all very cheep bulky things. A filling desert for growing boys is rice, milk and honey. Don't  let people drink milk unless they are under 4, save it for breakfast. Never buy soft drink or juice. water is perfectly fine for drinking, healthier,  and nothing else is needed.  

make a shopping list of everything that is needed for a trip to town. then do all of it when you go. We have worked out that at the current price of fuel it costs us $10to drive the 20 km  to town and back . we don't go if we only need a few things. 

 Encourage all teen to get some sort of paid work, then they can look after some of their own wants like if they want juice or other luxuries . Maybe get them to pay board, even a little bit.

if you are truly struggling then there are some very drastic measures that can help- like getting rid of any pets. $50 or so of petfood a month really adds up.

 

At the very least I would say to not take on any more animals.   I have a friend on SSI now due to health issues and she has taken in 2 additional pets and then complains that they cost so much in food.   

29 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

pay down debt as fast as possible. even an extra $10 a week on a loan can greatly reduce the amount of debt. if you sell some of your surplus cars then use that money to pay off a chunk of debt on the newer car.  My mother managed to pay off her mortgage as a widow with 3 small children by keeping every single piece of lose change in a dish, and at the end of the month paying however much was there off the mortgage- that was when mortgage rates here were 20% 

That's awesome that your mother could do that.   I didn't quite catch if OP was renting or paying mortgage?

29 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

 Grow as many veggies as you  possibly can, you don't need fancy raised beds. veggies have grown fine in the ground forever. A raised bed is pleasing to the eye, but not necessary. Freeze or preserve the surplus. Never ever eat out. Get rid of subscription services, they are a luxury that is not needed for survival

 you might think my suggestions are ridiculous or over the top, but they work

 

Well, you didn't mention the family cloth, so I think you aren't over the top quite yet.  😂

[Lady Marmalade]

Spinning off on the above suggestions about the garden and chickens...

We have chickens, the max we are allowed to have in our village, and anytime DH has been working outside lately, people walking by have stopped and asked if we sold our eggs.  We don't, but everyone wants some!

Other than feed and the initial outlay for a coop, chickens are really cheap.  If you had any inclination, you could raise chickens, plant a good garden, and then have a successful produce stand.  Everyone is looking for affordable options to feed their family.  Grow a garden for your own family, but plant extra and reap the financial benefits of selling to everyone driving by.  

[Ausmumof3]

As far as chicken go, if you are thinking of them as cost savings you need to make sure you have only enough it mostly feed scraps and you are willing to get rid of them when they’re not productive anymore. I am soft on my ladies bevause I figure they’ve earned a rest once their laying days are over but it would be way cheaper for me to buy the few eggs we eat than by chicken food like we do.  Especially with wheat prices going up.

[Eos]

14 hours ago, elegantlion said:

how much more $ do you need to feel more comfortable. That might dictate what type of work you should look for. 

And might put the less-paid service jobs in the picture.  If what you need to "break even" until he gets his master's and an admin job is 2 or 3 hundred a week, I second the idea of garden center job - outside with plants, even just three days a week, might be a good option. Is dh home on weekends? If so, look for something for you on weekends plus Monday or Friday and have a four-day homeschool week. Working nights after working at home all day will be hard but not impossible. 

The most common night jobs here for moms are stocking grocery shelves and home health aides.  Home health aides here get the same as garden center jobs at Home Depot but are much more work and another shift of caretaking after the one that you're doing now might be too much.

Posters and a facebook page for your soon-to-be-up-and-coming sewing/alterations business would also be good, especially when you have a line that says something like "call or email for a free estimate" so they know you charge for your valuable time 🙂

 

 

Edited April 22, 2022 by Eos